First of all, I have to say, OH MY LORD. I am so completely humbled and in awe at all of the emails and encouraging words that I received from people. I was overwhelmed to tears at the amount of following my small 3 chapters have gained and I thank you all very much.
I am here to say that this story will continue. I am not going to give that pathetic author the power to tell me what I am happy doing, sucks. It is a very healing thing for me to write this story. I write a lot of myself in Cody and I hope that the situations that I am writing about are situations that people can relate too. This story is for you, the fans, just as much as it is for me and I promise I won't let you down. Besides, flying Beavers Scare me!!! (Love ya Brian!!)
I am going to add a section at the beginning of the story to remind you of what happened at the end of the last chapter. I think it helps for the sake of continuity.
So with that said, I would still love to hear from each and every one of you who want to write me. Please email your thoughts and comments to Shywriterboy29@hotmail.com. I would appreciate hearing what you think.
Disclaimer This story is totally fictional and is not meant to imply anything about the personalities of NSYNC or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are under the age of 18, offended by male/male material, or it is illegal to view such materials in your area, you should be leaving now. If you are looking for a story with lots of sex, this is not the story for you then! This is a story of love and friendship. Sure there will be sex, but it will not be an all out orgy every story.
With that said I hope you enjoy the story!!
NOW ON WITH THE SHOW!!! __________________________________________________________________ PREVIOUSLY ON THAT DAY
I parked my car, went inside and headed to the front desk. A very pretty girl was working the desk that day and when I approached she immediately smiled at me.
"Welcome to the Hilton, sir. How may I help you?"
"I am a guest of N*Sync and I was told to talk to you for my passes and clearance to go up to their floor." I replied with a smile.
"You must be Mr. Walker." I nodded.
"Here is your floor pass, make sure it is visible at all times. I do need you to sign here so that the hotel has a record of your visit, strictly for security purposes, I promise you."
I signed the paper and she handed me the pass. As I was clipping it to the front pocket of my jeans I heard her say, "Elevators are down that hall and to your right. I trust you know what room they are in?"
"Yes I do. I thank you for your help, miss." I smiled extending my hand.
She very politely shook it. "The name is Rachel, and you're very welcome. Don't hesitate to call on me should you need anything at all."
"Thanks." I replied. "I appreciate that."
With that I headed to the elevators and up to their room. When I reached the 20th floor, the doors opened to a small hallway. As I exited the elevator and glanced down the hallway, a smile came to my lips as I noticed the familiar face looking back at me. __________________________________________________________________ That Day By ShyWriterBoy
Chapter 4
"Well if it isn't the knock-out boy himself!" Lonnie said with a smile.
Smiling and shaking my head I replied, "Hello to you, too, Lonnie, it's nice to know that my trauma is giving you lots to smile about."
"You know, being with these guys as long as I have, I have seen them do a lot of weird things, but when J.C. knocked you out from just a needle prick, that had to take the cake. The guys have been talking about it nonstop. They are all excited to meet you. Be prepared though, there could be some teasing coming your way."
"Hey." I said, feigning hurt, "I'm the victim here and they should be nice to me."
"Good luck with that one." He said laughing, "You got your hall pass on ya?"
"Right here Mr. Big Hall Monitor." I said sarcastically, pointing to my clearance pass.
"A smart ass, too, huh? I like you already. Go on ahead, Lance is waiting for you." He said motioning to the door.
I walked past him giggling as I headed toward the door. Another wave of panic and nerves ran through me as I reached my destination. OK, Breath Cody', I thought to myself, it's just dinner and you can handle it. Just go with the flow, just go with the flow.' I repeated those words in my head as I reached up and knocked on the door. A few moments later it opened revealing the angel himself. I wanted to faint right there. Standing before me was Lance and he looked amazing. He had leather pants on with an emerald green sleeveless shirt. His arms were beautifully toned and the shirt he wore showed off his chest just as well. His hair was perfectly styled and spiked and his eyes sparkled as he smiled at me from the doorway.
"You're right on time." He said, snapping me out of my little trance.
"Umm yeah, I try to be punctual." Well if I didn't look like a nerd already that comment surely cemented it for me.
"It's a good thing," He said motioning me in. "I promise."
Looking around I was amazed at the size of the room. There was a huge living room area with a kitchen and dining room. Gigantic plate glass windows lined one side of the room giving way to an awesome view of downtown Dallas. There were 4 doors, 2 on each wall, that I assumed led to the sleeping rooms and the bathrooms. All in all this one room was just slightly smaller than my condo, but a lot more luxurious.
"Nice room." I said looking around.
"Thanks. I guess its just one of the perks of being a huge pop star. I personally think it's too big and fancy. I am more of a simple man myself. It comes from my southern upbringing." He said with that killer smile of his.
"I understand what you mean. My little condo is nothing compared to this, but it's just the right size for me. It's very quaint and simple."
As I went towards the windows to check out the view I saw Lance's reflection in the window and HE WAS CHECKING ME OUT. I could have died right there. I quickly glanced over my shoulder and our eyes met. He quickly looked away as if nothing happened when I turned around to face him.
He glanced back over to me and said, "You look very nice. Awesome shirt, you wear it well."
"It was a gift from my Grandparents." I replied, looking down at my shirt.
"They have good taste." He said with a smile. "Would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, a glass of water would be nice." I said turning back to the view.
As I scanned the windows looking out over the city, I noticed that they opened up to a veranda. Some fresh air sounded good to me so I unlocked the sliding doors and tried to open them but they wouldn't budge. I tried again with more force but it still wouldn't move. As I kept trying the door I heard Lance come up behind me with my glass of water.
"Here let me help you." He said, setting the water down on the table next to the windows. "That door is tricky. I have been meaning to get maintenance up here to look at that."
He came over to where I was fumbling with the door and our hands became intertwined as he grabbed the door's handle. A wave of electricity shot through me and I looked up to see his angelic face very close to my own. I was totally unprepared for this. My heart started beating out of control and my legs were starting to shake. Was I ready for this? How do I go with the flow now? Just when I thought I was about to crumble where I stood the door opened and our hands were free.
I quickly went out onto the veranda taking the biggest, deepest breath of my life. The fresh air did wonders to calm me down as I walked toward the rail to gaze out at the city.
I stood there for a minute or two when I heard Lance moving behind me once again. I turned around to see that he had brought our drinks out with him and set them down on the patio table.
"It's very peaceful out here." I said making my way to the table and sitting down.
"I couldn't agree with you more." He said, joining me at the table. "I spend a lot of time on the verandas and patios of the hotels we stay at. I think better outside with the fresh air and sunshine. Helps me to put everything in focus and sort out the things on my mind."
That struck me as kind of funny. Here he is a famous pop star and he worries about things? That didn't sound right to me? I have always taken pride in the fact that I do my best with the little means that I have. A guy like me is used to worrying and trying to figure my way out of sticky situations. I work hard for not a lot of money, and everything I get, I earn. I did not want to seem rude or harsh but I had to clarify his comment for my own understanding.
"Can I ask you sort of a personal question?"
"You can ask me anything you like." He replied, looking questioningly at me.
"Your last comment is puzzling me. Now, I mean no offense by saying this, but I can't imagine what a rich and famous man like you has to worry about." I said sipping my water. "I mean, you have enough money to buy a place like this, people do just about everything for you and you have the means to buy yourself anything imaginable to make you happy. That sounds like a pretty care-free life to me."
Lance smiled warmly at me. "To a point you are absolutely right, and you have not offended me at all. I have not always been rich. I know what it means to struggle, and I know what it means to go without. My parents worked very hard to provide for my family and we did not always have it all. I am enormously blessed to get to do what I do and I don't take it lightly."
He paused to take a deep breath and then continued.
"As care free as my life may seem, I still do worry about things. Most of the time they are not financially based, they are more on a personal level. It's hard being in the public eye and trying to have a normal life. Everything I do is watched and noticed. I can't do normal things like you can without being mobbed. I can't go shopping, go out to eat, spend the day at the park reading or hanging with friends. I have to take security wherever I go and be very aware and careful of what I do and say. It's like living in a glass box on the shelf of a very large display case with everyone staring at you." He paused to take a drink of his water and then continued. "The biggest drawback of being famous, however, is having to keep some of the things that make me who I am a secret, for fear they won't look good in public or ruin my career. They are things that I should be able to talk about, without having to worry who is listening. I love my job though, so I do what I have to do to keep it going."
When he finished, the hurt that I saw in his eyes broke my heart. I had always fantasized about being rich and famous, but I never stopped to think of what the other side of that coin would be. How hard it must be for him to keep some sense of normalcy in his life. Having the money would be nice, but without the little things that make your life yours, all the fame on the planet is almost not worth it.
What he said started me thinking about my own situation as well. His words brought a lot of things into perspective for me and made me feel a lot better about my own life. I knew then that I needed to stop taking things so seriously and learn to stop and take a breath every so often and appreciate the little things.
I looked across the table at him and once again was amazed at what I saw. Here was a man that comes across so strong and so in control, but was still human and struggling with life. How lucky was I to get to see a side of this beautiful man that I'm sure not many other people see.
I knew that after all he had done for me, I needed to reach out and help him gain that normalcy that he wanted. As he sat gazing out at the horizon I hesitantly ask "Ummm, Lance?"
"Yes, Cody." He replied
"I know I don't know you that well, but I appreciate you being so honest with me. I also want you to know that if you ever need some advice or just need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to call me. My phone is on day and night and I would be happy to lend an ear."
He smiled warmly at me. "Thank you very much." He said reaching across the table and taking my hands in his. "I appreciate you saying that, and don't think that I won't take you up on it. Having someone outside of this sometimes circus to talk to would be awesome."
When he finished speaking he did not let go of my hands. I sat there watching his beautiful face and I began to lose myself in his eyes. I could feel the electricity and emotions surging through my body as the world around us faded away. `I could stay like this forever,' I thought to myself. I did not want the moment to end, and something told me that he didn't either. But, like a needle scratching across a record, everything came back into perspective and the moment ended.
"Yo Scoop were back." A voice bellowed from the other room.
Our hands quickly separated as Lance turned to the glass doors and shouted, "We're out on the patio."
Lance and I stood as Josh and another dark haired man came out onto the patio. They were both full of energy and were laughing as they came through the patio doors.
"Hey Guys, how did everything go?" Lance asked.
"Oh you know, same shit different day." The dark headed man replied. Looking towards me he said with a huge smile "You must be the one J.C. used as a punching bad"
"JOEY!!" Josh said, jabbing the guy in the ribs.
"Cody," Lance said laughing, "This is one of our other band mates, Joey. Joey, this is Cody."
"It's nice to meet you." I said shaking Joey's hand.
"And of course you know Josh." Lance said.
"Who's Josh?" I ask confused. "I took a blow to the head recently and unfortunately my memory is not what it used to be."
Josh just rolled his eyes as Joey and Lance erupted into laughter. "Good one, Chuckles. It's nice to see you, too." Josh said sarcastically.
"Oh Josh, you know I'm just kidding." I said turning towards him. "It's good to see you. Are you feeling better?"
"Yes I am. I just over-worked myself is all. A little sleep and I was good as new."
"That's good to hear. So, gentlemen," I said addressing all three of them. "What's on the agenda for tonight?"
"Well, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum here need to go change and then we're off to dinner. Does BBQ sound good to you?" Lance asked.
"That sounds great to me." I said.
"Ok you two, go change." Lance said to Josh and Joey. "Just meet us out here when you are done."
"You got it, Scoop." Joey said as he and Josh started back toward the room. He turned to Josh as they walked "You're Tweedle Dum you know."
"I am not. You're Tweedle Dum, look at your hair." Josh retorted.
"Lay off the hair, you no-fashion-sense geek." Joey came back, as their voices faded into the room.
"Are those two always like that?" I ask Lance as we sat back down at the patio table.
"Yeah that's how they share their love with each other. They are really good friends. We all are." Lance said with a smile.
"That's good that you guys are all that close. I bet it's nice to be able to have such a close knit family to share your life and career with."
"Yeah it can be," Lance said as his smile faded.
I noticed the change in his mood so I figured that this would be a good time to lend Lance that shoulder. "That wasn't very convincing. You ok? You want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to burden you with my problems." He said as I shot him a stern look.
"What did I tell you a little while ago? I am here to talk if you need to get something off your chest. So, Mr. Stubborn, I ask again. Is there anything you want to talk about?" I said with a wink.
Lance took a deep breath and I could tell that whatever was bothering him was something he had been brooding over for a while now.
"Have you ever had a secret that you are dying to tell someone but you know that everything will change if you tell it?" He asked me very seriously.
"That depends." I ask him quizzically. "Is this secret something that will hurt anyone if you tell it?"
"Oh no, no one is in danger here. In fact, I know that I will feel a lot better about myself if I do tell, but I am unsure of how the people closest to me will react. This is not something that society and some people think very highly of."
It took about two seconds after he said that before it all started to sink in. Lance Bass of N*Sync was worried about coming out. Lance was gay and struggling with how to tell his band mates and the people in his life. I remembered those days well and the feelings that he is feeling. It's not a comfortable place to be. It was then that I remembered something that Sylvia, God love her, said to me that helped me take that life-changing step.
"Well then, I guess you have to look at what kind of people you have around you," I replied. "Are they open minded enough to take whatever secret this is and not judge you for it, nor let it affect the way they look at you. True friends won't judge, and if they don't agree with whatever you tell them, they will find a way to live with it. If they can't do that then they weren't really your friends to begin with."
Lance looked even more worried now. "That is the thing that I'm afraid of the most. I don't want to lose any of my friends and family, I don't think I could live with myself if they never talked to me again."
"But can you live with yourself not being true to who you are and keeping your life a secret?" I asked him.
I knew that comment would get a reaction, so when his eyes got wide and a look of panic crossed his face I wasn't surprised. I reached out and took a hold of his hand.
"Look, I know exactly how you feel. I went through it all myself. It's risky telling the people you love something they may not want to hear. I lost some of the people I loved when I did it, and all I could do was move on. The best advice I can give you is to trust your family and friends. They love you more than you know and that love won't end, no matter what secret you have been keeping. Trust them and trust yourself and when you are ready, you'll be able to share your secret with them."
The look on Lance's face was priceless. You could see the mix of emotions take over as the fear he was once feeling started to dissipate. Tears began to well up in his eyes.
"Thank you," Lance said, struggling to find his voice through the tears.
"You're welcome. That's what friends are for," I said patting his hand.
I let Lance have his hand back so he could wipe his eyes. We sat there in silence watching the sun go down below the horizon. A few minutes had passed when Lance spoke up.
"So, you're gay, too, huh?"
I smiled at him warmly, "Yes, I am."
"Does it scare you, being gay?"
"A little, but I am a true believer that if you have faith in yourself you can conquer anything. I am fine with who I am and I don't care who knows. I wasn't always this confident; it took some time for me to get there, and I know that you will get there eventually."
"Get where eventually?" Joey said, coming through the patio doors with Josh right behind him.
"To dinner, Tweedle Dum, we're starving," I said sarcastically.
"Ha, see, I told you that you were Tweedle Dum," Josh cried triumphantly.
"Watch it, Chasez," He said, glaring playfully at Josh. "As for you," he said turning to me, "what you siding with him for? What'd I do to deserve that?"
"Sorry, Joey," I said standing up. "It's the hair."
"What is it with you people and my hair?" Joey said exasperatedly.
"Well, when you look like a fluorescent paint brush, people are gonna talk." Josh said, playfully pushing Joey's shoulder.
"You get a three second head start, geek-boy." Joey said as Josh went running back into the room. "ONE!" Joey yelled chasing after him.
I was giggling as I walked past Lance, who was still sitting at the table.
"Hey, Cody," he said standing up
"Yes, Lance?" I replied, turning to face him. Before I knew what hit me, his arms extended, pulling me into a hug. The electricity resurfaced again as his arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me gently. His face was right next to mine as we stood cheek to cheek hugging.
"Thanks," he said as I felt his warm breath on my neck.
Very close to the point of melting, I was barley able to squeak out "You're welcome."
We stood there hugging for about 30 seconds when we heard Josh yelling from the room "OK, I give, I give."
We released our hug and Lance looked at me smiling. "OK let's go tear those two apart and go get something to eat."
"Sounds like a plan to me," I said smiling back. "I'm starving."
We walked back into the room and found Josh pinned to the ground with Joey on top of him. Lance managed to pry them off of each other so we could go eat. We quickly grabbed our stuff and headed out to Joey's rental car. With Josh and Joey in the front, and me and Lance in the back, we rode to dinner just chatting up a storm.
I felt very comfortable around Lance, Josh and Joey. I knew I was in a good place and that I was supposed to be here. It was surprising to me how life can take a turn and completely change the scheme of things. Little did I know that life was about to take another turn that would change my life indefinitely.
To Be Continued