MY DECISION

By Ray Smith

Published on Dec 7, 2008

Transgender

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MY DECISION

BY

Missy Satinpanties

I had been into wearing ladies panties and slips and the like for years. It all started when I was around 11 or 12, and became aware of magazines like Penthouse and Playboy. I would sneak into my big brother's room and look at his magazines and get this feeling that I really didn't understand, but liked. I always seemed to linger on the pages that had a model in some sort of lingerie, the silkier and lacier, the better!

After a while, I noticed that Mom had some pretty lacy, silky things of her own! One day, I was in the basement, tossing a handball around and it landed in the dirty clothes' basket by the washer. When I reached in to get it, I felt like I had gotten an electric shock! I pulled out a long, white slip that was so smooth and silky, that it was almost liquid! It had an edging of pale blue lace around the bottom and I was in heaven! I rubbed that slip all over my face, dropped it and went looking for more treasure.

After graduating from rubbing a slip on my face, to wearing Mom's panties, slips and nighties, I got a little bolder, and grew up at the same time. I had heard my brother grunting in his room one evening and peeked in his door, to see him stoking his cock while looking at a magazine. So THAT'S how it's done! After a little experimentation, I learned to stroke myself to a climax and learned that the more of Mom's things I was wearing, the better it felt!

Fast-forward to a few years later, just after college. I had just graduated from a very prestigious college, with multiple degrees in math and engineering. Now, companies were actually fighting over who would get to hire me! I landed a great job with a huge starting salary and happily packed up and left home. I bought a very cozy little house, with two downstairs bedrooms and a little attic room that had been converted by the previous owner into a third bedroom for his son. Here I was, 25 years old, a homeowner, great job, bou somehow missing something.

Almost as though drawn by a magnet, I would spend a great deal of time on the Internet looking at lingerie and could not pass by a ladies clothing shop without a discreet, but longing glance in the window. I knew what I had to do. I drove to New York for a vacation and hit about 8 boutiques that specialized in cross dressing. I went hog wild! I bought 2 corsets, one white and one pink, and several nighties, baby-dolls, and negligees. I was in one store and found sissy attire that really fired my sexual imagination. I walked out several hours later with 4 little sissy-type dresses, which if smaller, would be perfect for an 6 or 8 year old at a beauty pageant! I also bought sissy panties in pink, blue, yellow, and lilac, crinolines, and a cute little ruffled-edged pinafore apron in white satin. While in that last store, I stumbled on a mode of attire that I had never really considered, but seemed to be fun, so I dropped a large load off my credit card in that department too! Panties and bras of almost every color, baby-doll nighties and the rest of my stash almost filled the back of my little SUV, as I headed back home, happy and full of anticipation.

Over the next several months, I slowly and quietly converted the upstairs bedroom into a little girl's fantasy room. Some nice pieces of white, French provincial furniture with makeup table, a white canopy bed, pink and white satin sheets, a pink satin comforter and a sheer pink and whitecanopy for the bed. And of course, the closets were jammed with dresses and shoes. I had little girl Mary Janes and impossibly tall 7" heeled pumps that I could' even walk in, and lots of shoes in between. You couldjust about name the sissy fantasy and I could live it! But still, there was something missing. I was getting bored...

About 6 months ago, I started reading sissy stories on these great sites. One was Fictionmania, another was called Storysite, but the one with the most stories was Nifty Gay Café. I now knew what was missing. I needed someone to play with! BUT... after a very unsatisfying encounter with an overpaid dominatrix and many failed attempts in the personal ads, I was stumped. In desperation and I must say, great curiosity, I set off for the local adult bookstore. I wore my loosest, heaviest pullover and a pair of jeans. That was for the world at large. Under it all, I wore a pair of pink satin panties with little bows at the sides and ruffly lace at the leg openings, a matching sissy training bra, lacy garter belt and white thigh high stockings. Those were for me!

After browsing the magazines, the toys, the video racks and the personal ads on the wall, I was drawn to the movie booths. Ten bucks bought my way in for an hour and I entered a new world. The room was H shaped, with 40 private video booths lining the walls. I noticed that while some of the doors were closed, a great many had men lounging on the door frames, while they watched both the video in the booth and the other men in the room. I was very conscious of my longish hair, shaved body and lingerie as I made my way to a booth. At 5'5", I wasn't the smallest man I could see, but I was nowhere near the largest. I stopped at the 5th booth and looked inside. There was a video playing with the sound down low. On the video were two women stripping. I pushed a red button over the screen and it changed to a video of a man getting a blowjob from a very cute Asian girl. A few more pushes got a few more videos, until I hit it the 5th or 6th time. Now, it had my full attention! On the screen was a man in a red teddy, stockings and high heels, with his cock hanging out. His hands were tied behind his back and he was on his knees, with another man's cock in his mouth. What really had my attention was the look of sheer bliss on his face. I was mesmerized.

A moment or two later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jumping a little, I turned and looked into the face of a man, who was looking at the screen and then at me. He was about 6'2" tall, light brown hair, soft brown eyes and sort of elegant looking. While the other men looked like truck drivers, this one was wearing tan slacks, a dress shirt and a sweater vest, in some soft expensive looking wool. He was shaved and now I noticed, wearing some very nice cologne or after-shave. He finally looked me in the eyes and asked me if this movie interested me. I gulped and nodded my head. He sort of moved me into the booth, followed me in, and closed the door. I was breathing very fast now and my mouth was as dry as a bone. He put both hands on my upper arms and started rubbing me, caressing me! He ran one hand over my back and when he felt the bra strap, he smiled and told me his name was Mike. I stammered out my name was Ray. "No," he smiled, "What is your name when you wear your finery?" "Melissa," I stammered, "or Missy." He smiled again and lifted my pullover up to my chin. He smiled againand began to unfasten my jeans. I felt like a doll, with no muscles to move. As my pants fell around my ankles, he smiled again and looked me in the eyes, "Missy, you are a very beautiful boy/girl and I would like to get to know you, very well." I didn't know what to say and he went on, "I can see you are very nervous, so I think this might be your first time. Is it?" I nodded again.

"Excellent!" he whispered in my ear and then as though it was the most natural thing in the world, he kissed me. I couldn't help it! I was standing there with my boy clothes darn near off and my lingerie bared for him to see and felt so alive that I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth, his hands to roam over my body. After a few minutes that felt like a few hours, he pulled away from me and asked me to pull of my pants and to come with him. He told me to walk out of the bookstore, turn to my left, and walk around to the side of the building. There, I would see a silver car. He would wait a moment and join me. I found a silver Lincoln and waited. A minute later, my new friend joined me. Without a word, he opened my door and held it for me like a lady. He closed my door and got in the car himself. We drove about 5 minutes to a very nice coffee shop, where we talked for about an hour about my "other self" and how it might fulfill two fantasies, his and mine. I finally worked up the nerve, and invited him back to my little house to show him where Missy lived.

After we got to my house, I asked him to give me a moment and then come up. I got to my upstairs girly room, lit a couple of candles and took off my outer boy clothes, shaking like leaf, with both fear and excitement. I put on a pair of baby pink patent pumps with 4 inch heels and cute little ankle straps. I also pulled on a sheer pink negligee, brushed my hair out a bit and spritzed on a little perfume. When I called downstairs, I found Mike was at the bottom of the stairs, waiting like a kid at Christmas! He bounded up the stairs and when he got into "Missy's" room, he stopped dead. He just stood there, like a zombie. He turned all the way around, just looking. Then, he looked at me and I stepped towards him and this time, I started the kiss. He held me tight for the longest time, then his hands began to roam all over me, tweaking my nipples through the satin of my training bra, caressing my ass cheeks through my silky panties, touching my hair and generally turning me on like I had never been before!

I slowly reached down and found his manhood and stroked it though his slacks. Ever so slowly I unbuckled his belt and undid his zipper and slid his pants to his knees. His cock was straining to get out of a pair of black cotton bikini underpants, so I slid to my knees and obliged. I couldn't believe how beautiful that cock was, or how wonderful it smelled. I kissed the tip and ran my tongue up and down the shaft. I kissed and licked the whole length of that cock and his balls for the longest time. It was only then that I really noticed he had shaved his cock and balls! Finally, I took that gorgeous piece of flesh in my mouth and sucked as much of it in as I could. He wrapped his hands behind me head and began to gently fuck my mouth, each time forcing his cock a little deeper into my throat, until the full 7 inches or so, was in my mouth. I really felt like I was going to throw up and my jaws had a violent cramp. He saw my trouble, pulled thick cock out of my mouth and gently helped me to my feet. "It's okay, Missy darling," He cooed, "We have all the time we need to learn how to love each other!" I almost fainted at those sweet words. He laid me on my back on the bed and reached into a small gym bag he had carried up with him. He reached in and brought out a pair of cloth strips with Velcro closures, hooked to lengths of rope. I quickly realized that these were restraints but for some reason, I wasn'tafraid. He gently wrapped one around each of my wrists and tied the ropes to the headboard. Then, he did the same with my ankles. I was in lingerie, in a little girl's room, tied spread eagle to the bed! Then, as a final touch, he reached in and came up with small, thick, rubber cock, hooked to straps. He pushed the cock into my mouth, filling itcompletely and hooked the straps behind my head. Bound and gagged in lingerie! I just didn't get any better! He turned the radio on to a soft jazz station and began to look in my drawers and the closet. He had completely taken his clothes off now and I admired his slim, toned body while he went through my most intimate, and secret, things. Finally, he took out a black slip and draped it over my face so I couldn't see. Then I felt the bed move a he got on with me.

He kissed and caressed me and finally started kissing my cock though the silky pink panties. He pulled the material aside and began sucking my cock, sending wave after wave of pleasure running through my body! He moistened a finger in his mouth and began to probe my virgin asshole with it. It felt huge, but I relaxed as much as I could and he finally got a finger in me. He rhythmically finger-fucked my ass while he sucked my cock and in a few short moment, I came violently in his mouth! He slid up the bed, removed the slip and removed my gag. He bent down and kissed me, releasing my own cum into my mouth. I almost passed out with pleasure! Then he released me and held and kissed me, telling me that I was a dream come true for him. He asked me if I wanted to continue the relationship and I about melted in his arms. He told me that he had a few fantasies that he had held for many years, just waiting for the right playmate to come along. He then asked me dress up in my little girl clothes for him. He laid out a my black patent Mary Janes, a pair of lacy ankle socks, a pair of pink rhumba panties with 4 rows of lace across the back. He then took my pink satin sissy dress down, along with the pinafore and my crinolines. "Would you please wear these for me?" he begged.

I told him to put on my white satin dressing gown and go downstairs for a few minutes and I would be happy to oblige. He put on my gown, and quietly left the room. Madly I pulled off my "big girl" lingerie and began to get dressed. I pulled on the ruffly socks and shoes and then I went to my mirror. I quickly began to braid my hair into two little pigtails, with little pink bows. I put on a little pink lipstick and then put on my panties. As they slid up my smooth legs, I shivered in anticipation of what was to come. Slowly I slid the crinolines over my head and then came the dress. The smooth satin felt sooo good! I could feel the stiff crinolines as then brushed the tops of my thighs and the smooth satin of my dress and panties. I looked in the mirror and saw that every time I bent, even just a bit, my panties would show under my finery. I was ready and called out to Mike.

"Don't call for Mike," he called softly up the stairs, "Call for Daddy." "Daddy Dear," I called down, "I'm ready to go to the party now!" He almost started crying when he saw me. Not that I make the most beautiful girl, or anything, I was just what he wanted. He turned me around and looked at me and touched me all over. He held my face in his soft hands and told me that if the game got out of hand, or if he was going too fast, just say STOP, or snap my fingers twice. I assured him that I never wanted to have him stop! All of a sudden, he made like he had just seen my lipstick for thefirst time! "Young lady," he sternly admonished, "How many times have I told youthat 7 year-olds do not wear lipstick? You will have to be punished!" He grabbed me by the arm and sat on the edge of the bed. He draped me over his lap and I marveled at how strong he really was! He then proceeded to give me the first spanking I had received since I really was 7 or 8. It wasn't all that hard, but it was hard enough to make me cry for real! He kept raining blows against my bottom until I was sure it was as red as a beet! When he finally stood me up, all I could do was stand there and cry. I was humiliated and turned on and confused and happy, all at the same time. He then handed me the wrist restraints and told me to put them on. He did the same with the ankle restraints. This time, he had me stand at the foot of the bed and tied my ankles to the bed legs. He took a pillow off the bed, laid it across the footboard and told me to bend over. He then clipped the wrist restraints together and ran the ropes to the headboard. He tied them off, and tied them tightly! Finally, he inserted the penis gag back into my mouth. Again, I was gagged and bound by my lover.

I was now bent over the foot of my very own sissy bed, with my legs spread, and my pantied bottom in the air, this time dressed like a little girl. Slowly, he began to rub my ass through my panties, and then he pulled my dress and crinolines over my back and my panties down until they were just barely off my ass. Another dip into his bag and cold slippery lube was being applied to my ass! This was going far too fast, but Iwas very confused and very, very, turned on! I looked to my left and could see the whole thing in my mirror! "Daddy" was standing behind me, still in my satin robe and I was a little girl, bound and gagged, waiting to be deflowered!

The robe slipped to the floor, as his cock found my virgin ass. Slowly he pushed into me, my whole body crying out in pain. Farther and farther he pushed, until it felt like 7 feet of cock was in me, not just 7 inches! He stopped and waited until I calmed down and accepted the invasion of my ass. Then, he started to fuck me, slowly at first, then picking up speed, with his balls slapping my ass, my own cock grinding into the satin pillow. With a loud groan, he finally came, filling my ass with his cum and within a second or two, I came into the pillow. Slowly, "Daddy" pulled out of me and what was once pain, became lonely and empty. He stood back and looked at me, cum dripping out of my ass, trussed up a little girl. "God," He sighed, "You are just so fucking beautiful! I don't ever want to turn you loose, or leave you!" Before he untied my restraints, or removed my gag, he walked to my large white dresser, and pulled out the bottom drawer. This was full of some things that I bought on my trip to New York, but thought to be just a bit too kinky to wear.

Daddy pulled out the thick, soft, cloth diaper, the powder, oversized pink pins and the pink plastic panties. Out too came the lilac colored satin panties that were made to go over the plastic panties, and the large NUK pacifier with the lilac ribbon tied to the guard. Finally he found the one thing that I was almost afraid he would find. A pair of lilac mittens, with little locks on the wrists that would keep me from using my hands. He slowly pulled these mittens onto my hands, but I have to tell you that I didn't fight very much. I was learning that I loved being helpless, at someone else's mercy. After they were on, and the little locks were clicked shut, he untied my wrists and helped my stand up. He then left my legs spread against the bed, and left me slobbering and trying to speak through the huge ball penis still in my mouth. Slowly and lovingly, he removed my dress, then untied my legs, and led me to the bed. There he pulled off my panties, and gently powdered and diapered me. He pulled the plastic panties up and snugged them into place, and followed them with the satin cover. Finally he removed the gag from my mouth, after telling me not to talk. As soon as I had worked my mouth to get rid of the stiffness, he kissed me, and held me, never taking his mouth from mine. As he pulled back, he placed the pacifier between my lips, and as I sucked it in, he gently tied the ribbons behind my head. Now, helpless, diapered, and gagged with my pacier, he held out my little nylon Barbie nightie for me to wear. I put it on, and we climbed into bed together and had a wondeful nap, me and my lover, and my new Daddy.

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