This story tells about sex between men. If this offends you, or if you're too young to be reading this kind of stuff, please hit "Back" right now.
Telephone Tag
I don't know if you've called Japan lately, but they have set up satellite relays and booster stations so that it's like you're talking to someone next door. On the other hand, of course, you call Hackensack and it's like you're trying to get through to Mars. So when I picked up the phone last night and it was my buddy, roomate, lover, whatever you want to call him, Jim, I found it hard to believe that he wasn't calling from down the street, but from the other side of the Earth. He cut to the chase pretty quickly.
"Remember how I said not to worry if you got horny while I was away? Well are you horny?" He had only been away two days but I already had a severe case. Seven o'clock on a Friday night, nowhere to go and no one to be with, my balls getting heavier by the minute. I had been pacing around the apartment thinking, I'll admit it, bad thoughts about my faithfulness to Jim. I just said: "Yep."
"Well here's what I want you to do. It's Saturday morning here, I'm lying in bed naked with a giant hard-on. Now listen carefully. I want you to undress real slow, and tell me all the time exactly what you're doing, get it?'' Jim thinks of everything. I just said: "Yep," but I could feel my cock starting to get interested.
I stood up and cradled the phone in my shoulder. Thank God for cordless! I started unbuttoning my shirt. Jim must have heard something because he said: "Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to tell me everything!" "Okay, I just stood up, and I'm undoing the top button on my shirt. Now I'm undoing the next button, and now the next one." "Hold it! Not so fast!" said Jim. "Reach into your shirt now and feel your pecs. Run your hands over them the way I like to do. How do they feel?" "They feel okay." "No, do they feel smooth and meaty?" "I guess so." "Do they bunch up when you pull in your elbows?" I had never done this before on purpose, but it worked. "Yep." "Now I want you to lick your finger and run it around your left nipple. I love your little nipples. Stroke it until it pops up." "It's up." "Now pinch it." "Okay, I'm pinching." "No, I mean pinch it hard!" "Ow! That hurts!" There must be a nerve going straight from my nipples to my penis, because it gets frantic. "How's your cock?" Jim knew me better than I did. "Listen, Jim, I can't take any more of this. I'm going to come in my pants!"
"No! Hold it! Stop what you're doing, relax, go into the bathroom and wash your face with cold water." "Okay, I'm walking to the bathroom, I'm turning on the water. Wait just a sec." I have to put down the phone to splash water on my face. "Okay, I've done it." "Now how's the cock?" "Okay, I guess." "Listen, man, I want to make you come by fucking you in the ass." "How're you going to do that?" "Just pay attention. Take off all your clothes. Watch yourself in the mirror and keep me posted so I can enjoy it too." "Okay, I'm unbuttoning the rest of my shirt and taking it off. Have to shift the phone around for a sec. I'm back. Now I'm unlacing my shoes and taking them off. The right one, now the left one." "Hold it. Pick up that shoe and sniff it. What do you smell?" "I smell leather, I smell shoe-polish, I smell foot-odor, I guess" "Thanks. I love the smell of your feet. I should tell you that I'm lying on my back and squeezing my cock as you're telling me this, and it feels great. Go on." "Okay, I'm taking off my socks, okay that's done and now I'm unbuckling my belt. I'm unbuttoning the top button on my pants and now I'm unbuttoning my fly." "Look in the mirror and tell me what you see." "I see my bare chest and I see the top of my jockeys and I see a vee of white where my fly is open." "And in the vee?" "I don't see too much because my cock is caught in my pants leg." "Take off the pants!" "Okay I'm pulling off the left leg. That feels good! My cock is loose now and I can see it sticking up in my jockeys. Now I'm pulling off the right leg." "What are you wearing now?" "Only my jockeys." "Look in the mirror and flex your muscles like you do when you want to turn me on. What do you see?" "I see myself. My cock is standing straight out and stretching my jockeys. I can see it throbbing." "Take off the jockeys!" I pulled them down. As the elastic waistband passed over my cock it bounced up and slapped my stomach. "Whoa! What's going on?" "My cock bounced up and hit me in the stomach." "I heard it! Now look in the mirror. What do you see?" "I see me with a hard-on." "You're naked?" "Yeah." "Stark naked?" "Yeah." "That's the way I like to see you. You have such a cute body!"
"Now let's get to work. Open the medecine cabinet and take out the vaseline." "Okay, I've got it." "Take a gob of vaseline, squat down and lubricate your ass. Smear the vaseline around the rim and slide your finger in to spread it around the inside. Take your time, but tell me what you're doing." "Okay, I've got the vaseline, I'm squatting down, I'm doing the rest." "Tell me in detail!" "I'm smearing circles around the rim of my ass. I can feel the little puckers in the skin. Now I'm sliding my finger in and twisting it around and around to spread the gunk." "Good work. Now stand up and look over to the right side of the toilet. What do you see?" "I see the toilet brush and the plumber's helper." "Good. Take the plumber's helper." This is like a 2-foot broomstick with a big suction cup on one end. We use it when the toilet gets clogged. "Take the vaseline and grease the top ten inches of the handle." "Okay, I'm doing it, it's done." "Now stand the plumber's helper in front of the sink. Think of it this way. I'm lying on my bed with my cock pointing straight up. The handle of the plumber's helper is the top of my cock. You're going to lower yourself down onto it and you'll be squatting on my bed lowering yourself onto me. I'll be fucking you right through the Earth." "But wait a minute. it's two feet long!" "You don't go all the way, shithead! You'll know when to stop. Now put your feet on both sides of the cup and squat down until you feel the tip of the handle against your asshole." "Okay I can feel it." "Now rub the tip around the rim of your ass a bit and start wiggling your ass to slide it in. Go easy, because it's thicker than your finger!" "Okay, I'm rubbing it around, I'm pressing down on it, it's starting in, it's blocked, I'm pushing against it, it's going in." Actually it's no sweat. The handle is like a very skinny cock. It slides right in. "Hey, talk to me! That's my cock you've got there! How far in am I?" "About eight inches." "Wait a minute. Are you holding on to the sink?" "Yeah. This squat is hard to hold!" "Come on, man, you're a skier. Let go of the sink and stand on your own two feet." This is extra hard because I'm still cradling the goddam phone in my shoulder and that's throwing me off balance. "Okay, I'm doing it, but I can't do it for long." "You'll do it long enough. Now wiggle your hips a little to rotate my shaft in your ass." "Jesus! It hit my prostate! I'm going crazy! And my legs are killing me!"
Next thing I heard over the phone was a loud knocking and a woman's voice speaking, and then shouting, a flood of what must have been Japanese. Jim said: "Oh, shit!" and the line went dead.
I put the phone on the sink and pushed the hangup button so Jim could call back. Luckily there was no vaseline on my left hand. I cheated and leaned on the sink but the friction in my ass was driving me bananas. I just brushed my fingers against my cock and it jumped around like a puppy begging for a rub. I was dying to jerk off but I wanted to save my load for Jim. The phone rang. Thank God! "Quick, I need you!" "Is that any way to answer the phone? I've been trying to get through to you for half an hour! You didn't call me this week, and you knew I had a dentist's appointment on Wednesday!" My mother! "Mom, listen, can I call you back? I can't talk just now." "And what's so important that you can't talk to your mother? Your voice sounds really strange. Are you okay?" "I'm perfectly fine, as a matter of fact I'm cooking right now." "Cooking! So what are you cooking? Something unhealthy I suppose." "Mom! I'm cooking pasta and it has to be drained this very minute! I'll call you back, I promise!" "You don't sound right. Are you sure everything is okay?" "Everything's okay, Mom, I'll call you right back!" I hit the hangup button. I think this was the first time I had ever hung up on her.
My cock had stayed completely rigid during the whole conversation. Just the tiny back-and-forth of staying in balance generated enough exotic friction up my ass to keep me excited. But now even with me leaning on the sink my legs were starting to give out. If I relaxed them the handle would slide way up into my colon and maybe kill me. Keeping them half bent like this was torture. I stood up straight. The plumber's helper slowly, slowly slid out of my ass and then dropped down. The suction cup bounced when it hit the floor. Now I was really "all alone by the telephone," with a hard-on and nowhere to put it.
The phone rang again. "Hello?" "Sorry, little buddy, it was a room-service screw-up. It took five minutes to straighten it out. None of them understand English. But thinking of you naked in the bathroom stuck on that handle got me hard again right away. How are you doing?" "My mom called, my legs got tired, I stood up, it slid out." "Well, get back on, man! My cock wants some action! Just tell me what we're doing." Why not. "Okay, I'm rubbing my hole against the tip of your cock." "Great, I can feel it." "I'm wiggling my hips to get the tip just inside, and reaming it around." "Yes, yes, more!" "I've lowered my ass an inch and now it's blocked." "Come on, push!" "I'm pushing, pushing and now you're through, you're sliding right up into my gut." "This is great, man, I've got both hands around my cock. It's like I'm inside you." "Now I'm shifting my hips around, like a very slow hula dancer." "Wow. I can do that with my hands. This is too much, little buddy, I think I'm starting to come!" "It bumps my chestnut every turn. My cock's going wild. I'm going to come right in the air!"
That's when my doorbell rang. A voice shouted: "Open up, police!" "Holy shit! The cops are here," I said to Jim. "Just a minute!" I called. I pushed the hangup button. I stood up, pulled the plumber's helper out of my ass and left it standing by the sink. I grabbed a towel and held it around me as I ran to the door. I opened it, and it was two young cops pointing their guns at me. "Jesus! Officers, what's up?" I was still up myself but I hoped they wouldn't notice. "Telephoned report of attempted burglary in this apartment. Said maybe tenant was being held hostage." My mother! "Mind if we look around?" "Go right ahead." What could I say? So the cops started this whole Mel Gibson routine, sidling around the room with their pistols cocked at their shoulders, two-handed grip of course, kicking open the doors to the bedroom and the kitchen. Finally one pushed open the bathroom door with his foot and eased himself in, gun first. I heard him call out: "Hey, Bernie, look what we have here. I think this man is a pre-vert."
Bernie, I guess that was his name, holstered his gun and walked into the bathroom. "Yes, Salvatore, this does look like a pre-version to me. You know what our policy is with pre-verts! Come in here, fella, and drop that towel." I obeyed. "Hey, look at that cock all swelled up. This guy must have been just about ready to come when we got here. Did you have that thing up your ass, fella?" I nodded. He was a cop, after all. "And were you banging your meat at the same time?" I shook my head. "Come on, Sal, this is an emergency!" I've heard of firemen getting into their clothes in five seconds flat, but this was the opposite. In no time I was on my hands and knees by the bathtub with Sal holding my hips and sliding his handle in and out where the plumber's helper used to be. Bernie was curled up next to me letting my cock rock and slap through his hands. His own was throbbing in a very appetizing way. Obviously the fun was just starting. I felt bad for Jim, but maybe room service fixed him up with something.