Tel Pere, Tel Fils, Chapter 10
Back home, everything returned to normal quickly.
Jamie and Paul found other videos of young couples having sex which were on the same site as the one Drake had shared with Nate. They fantasized about what it would feel like to do those things with girls in the future. However, they were happy with the things they could do with each other. They felt like maybe they could go either way.
Paul decided to come out as possibly bisexual hoping his father wouldn't be disappointed. Jamie thought that Kevin would be understanding and supportive.
When Paul had a few minutes alone with his dad, he decided to broach the subject.
"I'm sorry Dad, but I might not be gay like you and Peter are. I'm kinda not sure. I hope you'll understand if I'm maybe bi."
"I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't!" Kevin exclaimed. "You have to be who you are. None of us can change his orientation no matter what it is or how much we try. I attempted to be straight and look what happened. Obviously, I can function either way, but I really prefer men. In experimenting, I ended up with a son that I gave up for adoption. I'm extremely lucky that circumstances worked out as they have. I'm even luckier to have two sons."
"Peter and you probably have more in common, I suppose," Paul continued.
"Neither one of you is my clone, and you shouldn't be! The three of us all have a warped sense of humor. We resemble one another physically, but we're all shaped by our families, friends, and environment too. That's a good thing for making us unique individuals.
"Recently, I've been reading online about some people who are pansexual and others who are into polyamorous relationships. Perhaps you fit in there somewhere. You have plenty of time to find out.
"As I said when we had our sex talk last fall, it would be a good idea to use a quality condom if you decide to take a girl to bed to test your theory, even if she says she's on the pill. That could spare you a lot of drama and anguish. That I can say from experience. It could also save you from catching something that might be hard to cure."
"Thanks, Dad!" Paul exclaimed as he hugged Kevin tightly.
He appreciated being loved unconditionally. Jamie had called it right.
Summertime meant changes in the schedules of the teens in the household. Peter and Nate took on more hours at the store once they'd graduated. They wanted to earn more money for college, and hopefully be able to cut back on their jobs when they needed more time to study. They knew that the men would support them financially. However, neither of them wanted to take it for granted. They felt that they should make their own way when they could.
In the fall, they would be rooming together in a dorm. They had considered living at home and commuting, but their papas had encouraged them to spend at least their freshman year on campus. They remembered the social and intellectual gains they'd made from being in the company of their peers. It was a kind of rite of passage that was beneficial.
Once they'd been assigned a room together, they began to plan on how they would make the space livable. Kevin and Glenn had to hide their amusement at how serious the boys were taking it on. One would have thought they were setting up housekeeping as a couple. Of course, in a sense, they were. Coordinating their bed covers and curtains and choosing a few pictures and other touches to dress up their space was a bit like starting a life together. It involved making joint decisions and being deferent to each other's wishes.
The younger teens were working a bit more at the store, but they were also taking a competitive swimming class at the Y. To accommodate the students' schedules, the facility was offering several sections, most of which would be co-ed. It might seem odd to have boys and girls competing at the same time since they have differing upper body strength; however, it made the program more flexible, and the coaches felt it was doable.
Paul and Jamie found that the arrangement could lead to some distractions. Two girls, Claire and Jody Davenport, had recently moved to town and seemed quite interested in the boys. They were stepsisters whose birthdays were only a few weeks apart and they were going to be in the sophomore class in the fall in the same high school as the guys. In their initial conversation, the girls seemed to be flirting and drawing attention to their bodies.
"I hate these swimsuits we have to wear," Jody said. "I suppose the instructors want to compress our girls to keep them from being a drag in the water. You guys probably hate what you're wearing too. Those boxer-type trunks hide your, um, assets."
"That's true," Jamie agreed. "The coach wants us to wear suits with more resistance in practice to make us work harder. Our Speedos are tight enough to present less drag when we're in competition."
"Maybe we could meet at the city pool sometimes so we can all wear what we look best in," Claire suggested.
It seemed to the boys that the girls chatted them up a lot during spare moments when they weren't concentrating on the techniques their coach was attempting to teach them. Perhaps these two were answers to what the boys would like to experience with the opposite sex! The thought was both exciting and scary.
As they lay in bed awaiting the sandman, the boys discussed their dilemma.
"I was all for getting laid as soon as possible, but now I'm having second thoughts," Paul began.
"Whoa, you took the words out of my mouth! I don't want to look like a wuss, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to do it yet. I mean, I like the idea of losing my virginity, but in a way, I already have. We got to do about everything with April. Also, you and I have shared good sex."
"So, what can we do to hold them off without looking like wimps?" Paul asked.
"Maybe we can pretend to have girlfriends already. Um, you said there was a girl, Leah, something or other in your old church who had a thing for you. Since she doesn't go to a public school, none of our friends would know you were inventing a story. We could possibly come up with someone for me too. Does she have a sister or a cousin?"
"Hey, I think that just might work. We can act like we'd be interested if we hadn't made promises to someone else. Good thinking, Jamie!
"Thanks! All this talk is making me horny."
"Name two things that don't. Um, would you like us to do something about your problem? Maybe we could help each other, since I seem to have a similar one."
About the third week in June, Kevin allowed his mother to meet her grandsons on a Sunday afternoon in neutral territory - the park. He had given her a strict set of rules about her behavior and vowed to cut off all future communication with her if she didn't follow them. Having deferred any meeting for about half a year, he had proved to her that he was serious.
She wasn't allowed to gush over them or to bribe them. If she were to give them some kind of gift, it would have to include his partner's boys too, and there could be absolutely no strings attached to it. If she made any kind of scene, he would take them home and that would be the end of it.
It was a very different-appearing Jaclyn Birch who showed up at 2:00 p.m. on the dot instead of several minutes late, which was her habit. People who had known her all her life would scarcely recognize the unassuming matron who didn't expect everyone to jump at her command.
She had bought along a couple of photo albums so her son's boys could see pictures of their father when he was growing up. They agreed that he could pass for their brother in those.
All in all, the time passed pleasantly. Before Jaclyn departed, she handed each of the four boys an envelope and requested that they not open them until she'd left. Inside, they all found a $100 bill and a "thank-you" for meeting with her. She had abided by the rules Kevin had set, and he felt that she might be changing her attitude toward him as well as his family. He hoped it was true.
Life moved along smoothly as usual at Kevin and Glenn's home until the last week in July. That was when Ella's son, Charles, showed up in town. He'd been gone for quite a while, and those years seemed to have been hard on him. Yet, Jamie recognized him when he saw him come into Fareway and quickly ducked into the produce room to avoid being seen. Peter was in there bagging grapes. After hearing Jamie's plea, he went up to the office to explain the situation to Greg. He had barely finished when they heard Charles demanding to talk to the manager.
"I'll handle him" Greg told Peter. "Keep Jamie out of sight. He can help you with the grapes or hide out in the break area, whatever seems safest.
"I heard that my son works here, and I insist on seeing him," Charles said when Greg introduced himself.
"What's his name?"
"Jameson Carney."
"I don't currently have anyone on payroll who goes by that name. Sorry. Perhaps you should try one of the other Fareway stores or Hy-Vee. There are also a few independent markets."
"You're sure you don't have an employee by that name?"
"They're all listed on the board in my office. You can look for yourself."
"No, I take your word for it."
While the manager was talking to Jamie's birth father, Peter was on his cell phone contacting his dad. Kevin said he would fill out a no-contact order immediately but not file it until they knew it was needed. No one had any idea what Charles' motive might be or how he would react when he discovered he was no longer legally considered to be Jamie's parent.
With a little online searching, Charles found Ella's address although she'd moved after he disappeared, and she no longer had a land line. He left a letter in a manilla envelope between the screen and the front door because she wasn't home.
When she did arrive home after dinner, she wasn't surprised that he'd found her. She was, however, surprised at the contents of his note. She called Kevin immediately to ask his advice. He invited her to pack an overnight bag and returned to his house so that they could discuss it with the whole extended family before Charles had the chance to talk to her in person. She did so, hastily.
Before she left, she made a duplicate of the letter on her copier so that she could put the original one back where she found it. That would stall everything for another day or two. If he came back before she wanted to see him, he would assume that she was out of town and didn't realize he'd been there. Having been around Kevin for a while, she'd begun to think like a lawyer.
Jamie was dying of curiosity and was allowed to read his father's letter before the rest, except for Paul who looked at it over his shoulder. He passed it to Kevin who read it aloud so that everyone would know its contents.
"Do you think this is for real, Ella," Kevin asked. "You know him better than anyone else."
"It sounds sincere, but I must admit that after he deserted my daughter-in-law at the worst time of her life, I don't know what to believe."
"After catching a glimpse of him today, I'd say he's dying," Jamie said. "I mean, he looked gaunt. I almost wondered if I'd made a mistake about who he was."
"From what I saw when he was talking to Greg, I could believe it," Paul agreed. "Gaunt is a good word, but maybe emaciated is even more accurate."
"What would you guys do?" Jamie asked. "A part of me never wants to see him again, and another part of me wants to forgive him."
"I can't tell you what to do," Glenn shook his head.
"But you're my dad now."
"I'm proud to have that title, but this has to be your decision. I'm not even sure what I would do in your shoes."
"Do you think I could have a session with Dr. Jerkins?"
"I believe that would be a good thing. As an outside observer, he won't have the same emotions to cloud his judgment like the rest of us will."
At 3:30 the following afternoon, Jamie and Paul clocked out from their job to make it to the 4:00 appointment with Dr. Jerkins. Paul insisted that Jamie needed him to be there, and Greg agreed that it would be okay for both of them to be gone. It had turned out to be a slow day at the store and they wouldn't be missed.
Glenn had taken time off from his job to be their chauffeur. One of the older boys might have done it, but Glenn wanted to be there for the kid who was now legally his son. Both Paul and he would remain in the waiting room. Still, their presence would comfort Jamie.
Jamie cut right to the chase in sharing the letter his birth father had written.
"He says he doesn't have much longer to live and he wants to make things right with me before he dies. I'm not sure what to believe. He looks like a ghost, so maybe it's true. He deserted us when my mother was dying. It was awful losing both my parents at once. He should have been responsible and given me a home instead of pushing me off on Grandma. I mean, she was great to me, and still is. But it's not the same growing up without a dad when you know he's still alive out there somewhere.
"Sometimes, I would cry because he didn't love me enough. Sometimes, I wondered what I'd done wrong. Other times I hated him! You already know a lot of this.
"What should I do?"
"You have to go with your heart. Try to dwell on good times that you had with your father when you were little, and he was still around. Have you considered that your hate could be the result of missing those moments rather than being toward the person who was absent from your life?"
"Don't give me that do-gooder shit! Just tell me what I should do."
"It isn't shit. You have to consider what you would want him to do if the tables were turned. How would you feel if you were dying and wanted his forgiveness? I can't make the decision for you."
"That's what my dad, Glenn, said. I thought you might have an answer."
"It's not me who will live with the decision I make. It would be easy for me to say that you should forgive him, but I'm not carrying the emotional scars that you feel he's inflicted on you. I can sympathize with you, but I haven't borne your pain."
"I guess I see your point. You think I may live to regret it if I don't see him."
"That's possible. Every important decision we make will have some consequences. I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. I simply want you to consider what it will cost you now and in the future. We are all human and we make mistakes. We also have to learn to forgive ourselves if we later regret what we've done. Hating tends to hurt the hater more than the one who is hated."
"I guess that a grudge is a heavy thing to carry," Jamie nodded.
"Sleep on it, and then decide. Whatever you come up with, make sure that you can live with it in the long run. It's your emotional well-being that's the most important consideration here. You're going to be okay."
"Thanks," Jamie replied. "May I have a hug?"
"You've got it, Buddy."
The main topic of discussion around the dinner table at the Birch/Huber residence that evening was Jamie's decision. Members of the extended family listened to him, trying to remain neutral so that they didn't influence him. They knew he needed to air his feelings and they were there to support him.
"I've decided to call the cell number he sent in the letter. I'll meet with him, but I'd kinda like it to be on neutral territory, if you know what I mean. I'm not comfortable about having him know where I live. Um, I'm probably being paranoid, but it's how I feel.
"Your feelings are important," Glenn said. "In your shoes, I'd probably react the same way."
"We could use the breakroom lounge at my practice if the meeting is on Sunday afternoon," Kevin offered. "It's comfortable and private. One of us could offer to pick Charles up from his motel so that he wouldn't be as likely to follow us at the end."
"That would be great!" Jamie explained. "I hate to put you to all this trouble."
"We're family. Family members do whatever we can for one another."
"Speaking of family, could everyone be there with me, so I can show him what a family looks like?"
"Consider it done," Glenn hugged him, and the rest of the family nodded.
"Grandma, do we have rolled oats in the pantry?"
"We do. Whatever brought about this non-sequitur?"
"In trying to remember good times we had when I was little, I remember Dad helping me bake something and it turned out great. I was so proud of myself. I'd like to make it for a snack when we meet. I kept the recipe in a shoebox with some photos. I should probably take those too."
One might assume that Jamie wouldn't want to go to church on Sunday with the afternoon's activities hanging over his head, but such was not the case. He said that he wanted to pray about his decision once more.
Interestingly, the topic of the sermon was forgiveness. Jamie didn't miss a word. What the pastor said came very close to what Dr. Jerkin's had alluded to when Jamie had seen him. If he didn't know better, he would almost think that the two of the had consulted with each other to make sure he got the point. Forgiving those who have wronged you ultimately lightens your own burdens.
The family went to Kevin's offices in two vehicles after lunch. Glenn took Ella with him to pick up her son. Ella wanted to check him out first to make sure that he didn't have a sinister motive in finding Jamie. She nearly wept at the sight of him. He was as thin as Peter had described him and his skin had a yellow cast. She could tell that he wouldn't be around much longer.
On the ride to the firm, the conversation was light. Everyone was avoiding the elephant in the room.
The first thing Charles did upon seeing his son was to kneel on the carpet before him.
"I have no excuse for abandoning you. However, I want to explain why I did. Your mother's diagnosis was the final blow to my messed-up state of mind. I took it as a sign from God that I was being punished for my lustful desires for other men. I never acted on them until after I left, but I carried a lot of guilt. Drugs and alcohol couldn't numb my mind enough to ever sleep well. I tried everything to escape. Finally, about a year ago, I cleaned up my act. I've been sober ever since.
"I came to my senses too late to stop the progression of my illness. My liver is failing and I'm not a candidate for a transplant because so many of my other organs are in bad shape.
"I don't expect you to forgive me now, but I hope you will be able to sometime in the future after I'm gone."
Jamie took his father's hands in his and helped him to stand.
"I forgive you."
When he embraced Charles, the emotional floodgates opened for both of them. It took several minutes for the flow to stop.
"God, this is more than I'd hoped for!" Charles exclaimed. "Good!" Jamie said. "I hope it makes you feel better. We all make mistakes.
"Now, I'd like to introduce you to my extended family. Of course, you know Grandma and you met Glenn already. This is Nate, his nephew and other son. This gentleman is Kevin Birch who is a partner in this law firm. Peter is his older son and Paul is the younger one. Paul is very special to me. He's either my BFF or my BF; I'm hoping for the BF label. Either way, I want him in my life forever."
"Then, you're like me?" Charles stated for than asked. "I'm sorry. I never intended to pass that gene to you."
"Hey, I've heard that the genes we inherit are like a crapshoot. Besides, I'm happy to be who I am."
"I'm glad you've at least discovered your nature early. I think society today will give you a better chance than it did even a few years ago."
"Okay, I've got some pictures to look at, and I baked something special that you taught me to make when I was in third grade."
"Bannock bread?"
"Yup! I brought honey, strawberry jam, and butter, so you can fix it any way you like."
Charles blinked back a few more tears. Partaking in this simple, homemade treat was like participating in a sacred rite.
The gathering broke up about an hour and a half later. By then, it was obvious that Charles needed to rest.
In August, nearly a year after Peter came into his life, Kevin was again reading a book in the comfort of the solarium. He hadn't concentrated on it completely because he began to reminisce over the events of those 12 important months. There had been ups and downs with lots of changes in his life. At the end, everything had turned out well. He wouldn't trade this past year for a million dollars.
He had just gotten back into his book when the doorbell rang. The four boys were splashing in the pool and Glenn was taking a nap, so he was the only one home to answer it.
Looking at the image on his phone from the security camera, Kevin saw a young man standing on the porch kind of rocking on his heels. It was like Deja Vue. Who was this good-looking kid? Surely, he couldn't be another offspring. He hastened to find out.
"Hi, I'm Darby Dollmeyer. I think you've met my older brother Drake during all that mess about the counselor. Anyway, I'm selling candy bars to raise money for new protective gear for our football team. We're going to get new helmets which protect us from concussions better than the old ones. We're also going to buy new jockstraps with better cups. I don't tell that part if a lady answers the door," Darby grinned. "I figure men would appreciate it. Um, did you know this is the 150th anniversary of the invention of jocks? The Bike company in Boston came up with them for the bicycle messengers who rode on the cobblestone streets so they wouldn't jar their balls."
Kevin grinned at the exuberant youth's babbling about athletic supporters.
"How much would a case cost me?"
"Oh, wow! I've never been asked that. Let me figure it out on my phone. Um, there are 24 to the case at $1.25 each. That adds up to $30. Are you sure you want that many?"
"I'll take four cases if you promise to deliver them to the homeless shelter. Those people could probably use a treat.
"How about I write the check for $200, and you can just consider the rest a donation? I want to help protect the boys..."
"Awesome!"
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Author's notes"
If you're interested, the Bannock Bread recipe is posted at the end of chapter 15 in A Day in June. Or, I will email you a copy upon request.
Thanks to all who responded since last posting: Paul R, Grant, Mendy D, Ott H, Frank K, Tony C, Paul G, JLF, Allen S, Charles G, Rob W, Bill T, Ken McC, Justin T, Jim W, Peter S, and John L.
Thanks to David S for editing. He finds typos and missing words! He also makes valuable suggestions.
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Ps: I have a chronological list of all my posted stories which I can email to you if you have an interest. I have updated it recently.
I'm working on another story which I hope to begin posting next month.
David