The Teen Time Traveler – TTTT or 4T
So yah, it was pretty boring in Sugarmont. There was never very much to do, really; a pool, a couple playgrounds here and there and a bunch of lame people. All my friends are mostly pretty cool except they are lame too. There is one guy who is scary, so I guess that's not lame. Old Man Lupo wasn't boring, exactly. The town nut job. He kind of weird's me out when I see him. He has an odd toothless old grin and grubby outfit, but everyone said he was harmless. I think he might be. Maybe. But you never know.
So yah, school. What a drag. Grade eight is a little better than grade seven. We gotta shower after P.E. and in seven it was pretty bad. There was a big fat old bully, hung like a horse, but mean. He got tossed out for teasing Bill Barlow about his small weeny and the gym teacher not only heard him, but walked in just as Bill was giving him a punch to the head. So he left and never came back and everyone seemed to cheer up that they weren't gonna get picked on including me. I think he moved out of town.
Anyway, after Bill was pitched out the door, things were pretty easy going. I got along with most of the guys (and turned down by the girls) and they got along with me, the guys that is. The girls kind of freaked me out and hearing about the other guys relationships made me feel kind of strange. Life in general seemed strange. I'd like to think I tried to, you know, whatever. Go with the flow, try new things and be pretty much as lame as everyone else. School was a drag.
Except I had to admit there was one cool thing I kind of secretly liked, Social studies. weird eh. Well, anyway, we got an assignment studying accient Greece. It was pretty lame at first and then we got into the naked part. A bit of interenet searching and I found all kinds of naked pictures, and school had to be cool with it because it was "History." I pushed the limits on this one and had one big major assignment due after the weekend. It was going to be epic. Epic I say. Huge. Grande. Those greek boys were into blood, gore and nudity. They also fucked each other. I wasn't sure about that, but I was trying to be cool with everything and not rock any boats.
And then one day, I was riding home from school thinking about my assignment and how best to shock the teacher, maybe shake things up a bit, you know. Then out of nowhere Old Man Lupo walked out into the middle of the road and scared the living shit out of me. I cranked my bike over to the side of the road and before I knew it the sky went from blue to green, blue, green. I knew I'd gone ass over tea kettle. I fished myself out of the weeds checking to see if there was damage. None. I was bruised a bit, nothing even close to serious.
Old Man Lupoo peeked over the side of the road and into the ditch, his toothless smile never wavered. "You okay sonny boy? Course you are." He didn't pause or wait for my answer. "You gonna come to my house for nice cold one? Course you are." He said and smiled. Then he turned and walked away. I thought it was even weirder than normal, but whatever. I'd just had my guts shook up and figured a nice cold coke might be good after nearly dying in a patch of weeds?
I followed the old fellow to his shack which was pretty much a bare square thing with a roof on it and some old disgusting chairs out on what he called "the stoop" which was a couple of chairs in the dirt in front of the door.
"Wait here." He said as he disappeared behind the door. I picked the least disgusting chair and plopped down in it. It was dirty and not as smelly as it looked especially after you got used of it. I found that there was a couple of new bruises that I hadn't found on my first check over, my knee, my elbow and a nice bump on my noggin. The old fella came out of the door and plopped a cold beer in my hand. It was a cheap domestic brand, but beer anyway. When he said 'a cold frosty one,' I figured he was talking a coke or something.
I hesitated on what to do for about five seconds. Okay. I didn't hesitate. I just politely sipped the beer, because after all, it's good to be polite. Right? Anyway, the beer didn't taste all that good, but I pretended to like it anyway.
"Ever do time travel?" he said. I have to admit, the day was an odd one, but getting weirder. Was this old coot completely loopy or what?
"Umm. No. No sir I haven't." I replied. I figured the truth was always best.
"Would you like to? Of course you would. Wait right here." He said and disappeared into the cabin again. To say the old fellow was strange would be an understatement. But then on the other hand, yah, time travel would be pretty fantastic. I could pick a time, go see for myself how people lived or whatever and then come back home for supper and write the wickedest essays on the whole thing. Greece. I could get like an A or even a B and have some cool adventures, just like that really old movie. What was it called again? Ah yeah. Bill and Ted's Excellent adventure. I don't think I would bring anybody back though. It worked out in the movie, but real life doesn't work at all like the movies. What the fuck was I thinking? Time travel wasn't real. It never was and never will be. Sheesh I could be such a dork sometimes.
"Okay," Old Man Lupo said, his toothless smile brightening more, if that were possible. "Here is the time traveling transporter. If you do what I tell you, of course you will, you will find wherever you want to be at whatever time you want to be at. The only thing you can't do is be in the same time that you will be at now, or else you'll blow up." He smiled and handed me rock carved into a small turtle hung on a rough spun hemp rope. What the fuck did that mean? The thing was small enough to be in a pocket, but was big enough to make the pocket uncomfortable.
"Now," he said, "You know how to use this? Of course not. I haven't tol' you yet. You twirl it on this string and say what year and what place you want to be. You will pass out and then you'll be there when you wake up. Got it? Of course you do. Repeat it back to me just to make sure." The beer was making things a bit fuzzy but it seemed real, fuzzy or not. That made me giggle. Weird. Again.
The beer was hitting my lithe body. No fat, you see. Anyway, I was obviously drunk-ish and well, it was good.
Time travel?
God-damned-son-of-a-bitch. What if it were true? "I twirl it. Think the year and it becomes true.
So, whatever. I am trying to be open. Open! Not closed. Okay. Open. No problem?
The beer buzz buzzed.
It was bizarre. I twisted and wished.
Black.
And then I was naked.
Not just buck naked, butt-fucking-naked. I felt the turtle necklace around my neck. My shirt, gone. My pants gone. My socks, gone. My underwear, gone. What? Where the fuck was I? What the fuck? The stone beneath my bare feet was real. It was brown and grey and tightly laid. The hot sun burned down on my back and my bare ass and I looked up trying to orient myself. Everything tottered and phased in and out and then suddenly my gut hurt. I was still very naked, but the people around me, in brilliant three dee looked at me with expressions, some of curiosity, some of surprise. I covered myself and the people giggled and went on with their day. It was hot. The people were foreign looking with brown tightly curled hair. They were mostly all thin, dressed in mostly white garb. It was wierd. I was buck naked out in the middle of a brown street lined with brown buildings and what-the-fuck? Did I just time travel?
Too weird. There had to be an explanation, other than time travel. Had to be.
And then I heard shouting. Soldiers were shouting and pointing at me. Couldn't be good. So I ran. I pretty much left covering my junk as I ran. Truth be told I wasn't hung like a horse. Sure my bravado told everyone I was hung like a stud, but it was more like a squirrel. I was at least hung. I'd at least got some pubic hairs, but it was pretty small and I was okay with that. I wasn't cut, but I was okay with that. But then again, I wasn't okay with everyone clothed gaping at me and mine. I wasn't good with the shouting and pointing of men who looked like soldiers and running after me.
I ran.
Blindly putting one foot in front of the other, I wove and danced through the thronged street. I passed surprised people and ran right into a soldier who grabbed me. It was like hitting a brick wall. He cocked his elbow and then it was black.
The world fuzzed back into view. Again. But this time I had a whopping headache and my hands hurt. The rest of me seemed still in tact. I thought I could feel the scratchy necklace with the big turtle around my neck, but god-damned-it. I was still butt-fucking-naked. God dammit. I was sitting against a cold wall and other people, were around me, boys, all of them. They were naked too. Damn it. This was a shower from hell. Suddenly I was hefted up onto my feet. Some men, not soldiers, but tough guys, picked me up like I was some feather. They pushed me a long and suddenly I was on some kind of stage. Fuck. Could this get any worse? A bunch of Toga clad men stared at me, butt fucking naked. I was embarrassed. My emotions flooded past description. I felt my noodle growing. God damn it, a hard on now? Really? Yup. I tried to quell it. It sort of hit a semi state and stayed. All eyes were on me, studying me. I was no jock. I sidestepped the acne train. I was not anything to write home about, I thought.
Then hands flew up in the air. One guy was belting out Greek unintelligible words. I heard the conversation before. Something was up for bid and people, men, were bidding money on the chattel. Me. Fuck. I was being auctioned off. Probably, considering my naked state and my semi hard on that refused to go down, I was going to be a sex slave. I was going to have to put out for the ugly mother fucker who bought me.
But the bidding went on. I had no idea how high it was, but I was an expensive commodity. Slowly the number of bidders dwindled till there were two men pitted against each other, for the prize of me. Damn it. Me. I was the goddamned auction block sex slave! I was so fucked. My semi turned hard, not just hard, pointing-straight-up-in-the-air-at-the-ceiling-hard. Why-fucking-now? One guy was an effeminate giant with layers of fat stuffed under his toga. The other was a wizened old man nearly bent over double with a big bushy beard and bright blue eyes. I guess I was truly good and fucked.
The bidding ended. The fem guy turned his head down at the ground and the bent over old man with the beard smiled. I guess he'd won, me. I was nothing more than a piece of meat. My hard on raged. I don't know why. They hustled me off the stage and sent another naked boy out. We passed in the hallway and I felt for him. He looked as scared as I felt and he was completely smooth. The voices of fresh bidding faded away as I was sent to a room, still bound with my hands behind my back. My hard on eased and I found myself ushered into the street and the old man with the gray beard. He took my arm, firmly but somehow gently. We walked. No one looked. Everyone had seen naked boys before it seemed. We walked out in the street, in broad day light with me bound and naked and the clothed old guy pushing and pulling me along. No one batted an eye. We walked for about a half hour under the naked sun and I was tired, hot and naked. Well, being naked and hot was better than being hot with clothes on. Mind you, I gotta tell you, in that half hour walk, I changed, somehow. No one gaped at me like some freak or some squirrel hung slave. They glanced, if that and went on their merry way. I think that maybe there was some confidence leaking back into my weary soul. Maybe.
We walked and then stopped in front of some gates, like a wall, in front of a villa. The man knocked and a small door opened up. The man said something and the main door opened. I wasn't sure what to expect. I was sold, yah, to someone rich, yah, but that was just a pretty cement guess. I had no idea that a place could be so big and well, being tied with my hands behind my back, so intimidating at the same time. The old man walked towards a door, guiding me with his firm hand. I complied without thinking about it. What was I gonna do? Run? To where? We stopped at the door where he took a small clay jar, dipped into a bigger clay jar and poured delicous cold water over my head. It sluiced down my naked body making me shiver by the cool sweet cool water.
The next thing I knew there were strange people poking, prodding and touching me all over. Every single one of them talked and touched my junk, my butt, my belly button my asshole. They talked like I was just a cow or a commodity. I guess I was. I got hard after one of the guys' hands lingered on me. He stroked me a couple of times and said something that sounded like admiration and let go letting me stand without dignity but with a raging hard on. Again.