********** DISCLAIMER: I do not know any of these people, neither do I know their sexual orientations. This story is NOT REAL. If you're too young to be reading this, please go away. Feedback is good (reader_colleen@hotmail.com). Thanks go out to Joey (love ya, girl!), Jayne, Cor, and RED, Becca M., and all the rest of the members of the *NSync slash e-group. You guys are the greatest!!
While I'm at it, let me say "GO READ THESE STORIES!!!": "Superman Can't Fly" and "The Best Man" by Dayse (YAY!), "Remembering Petticoat Lane" by Becca (that story made me cry! Keep up the great work!), "Playing For Keeps" by Kimmer, "Busta" byYuli (you planning on updating soon?), "Not Meant to Be/Beyond What Is" by Kyle, "Dirty Little Secrets" byMyka, "Justin's Journal" by Jamie, "*NSync Lance & JC" by Kevin (Great story! Want more NOW!), the stories by my best net bud, Joey ("Starcrossed", "I Need You Tonight" for example) and all the stories by DivaKitT.
I have a webpage for this story now, as well as for my other stories (including two joint fan fictions)! It can be found at http://www10.ewebcity.com/colleensfic/index.html. Please check it out, as the chapters are posted a couple of days ahead of when I send them to David. Now, after all that babbling, onto the good stuff! Enjoy! grin
Chapter 13- Repeating Mistakes For Souvenirs
JC's appointment the next day was difficult, to say the least. JC liked JoBeth well enough, but he didn't really want to tell her all the gory, slimy details of the rapes. He imagined Lance hadn't either, which gave him some measure of comfort. It was still a secret, for the most part. The emotional scars could be hidden for a while longer, while the physical ones healed. The only problem was, it was impossible to forget the emotional scars. From the moment JC walked in the door to JoBeth's office, he knew he was going to cry.
"JC?" JoBeth said to him gently. "You don't have to stand in the doorway all session." JC shook himself back to the present and sat down across from her. "How are you feeling?"
"A lot better than last time," JC responded. "Justin made me stay in most of yesterday, so I got lots of rest. He got mad at me, though."
"Why?"
"After I got out of the hospital, I got Lance and Joey to help me get out for a while. Justin found out what we had done and took a fit. He was kinda cute, actually. I love it when he gets all concerned over me."
"Tell me about Justin, you seem to talk about him a lot."
"What can I say, except he's my best friend, the one who's seen me through a whole bunch of shit. Especially recently. Anyone else would have freaked out because I tried to slit my wrists a week and a half ago, but he hasn't asked why. He knows I'll tell him eventually, so he's not pushing it."
"Do you love him?"
"In what sense?" JC asked, not quite sure where she was heading.
"In any sense."
"Of course I love him- he's my best friend." JC sounded as if JoBeth had asked a really stupid question, causing her to study him closely.
"I've heard that you and Justin seem too close for just friends."
"Whoever said that doesn't know a fucking thing, then," JC said harshly. "Justin has been there for me when no one else has. When I was having nightmares about the rapes, and raping Lance, Justin was the only one who came to comfort me. Chris couldn't be bothered, and his room is usually right next to mine!" To his dismay, JC could feel the tears well up and tried to fight them back with little success.
"Maybe they don't want to intrude on what they perceive to be Justin's turf."
"I'm not a thing to be owned!"
"I didn't say that, JC. I simply suggested that they don't want to step on Justin's toes when it comes to you."
"Don't they realize it hurts more when they stay away? I mean, I can understand Lance, but Joey and Chris had no excuse." JC's tears had slowed in the face of his anger, but he was aware of the tears still threatening to fall.
"I don't know them, so I can't tell you why they didn't come to you," JoBeth sighed. "But they love you, I'm sure of it. Even at that first session, I could tell Lance was very fond of you." JC looked at her, confused.
"But we hadn't told you yet. Lance hated me for what I did... how could he be fond of me?" JoBeth shrugged and JC frowned. "At least I know he doesn't hate me anymore. Although Joey did tell me that he's mad at me for what I did, he also said he won't hold it against me."
"And Justin?"
"Justin hasn't said much either way."
"Why not?" It was JC's turn to shrug.
"He doesn't like taking sides, and I think that's what he feels he's gonna have to do."
"Why?"
"Because he loves Lance, too, and he doesn't want to say to him one day, 'oh, you were raped, too bad. Poor JC deserves help so much more than you.'
It would kill him to say something like that, because when it comes down to the wire, selfish as it sounds, Justin's always gonna pick me. It's been that way for seven years, so why should it change now?"
"Why would he feel that way- that he may someday have to choose between his friends?"
"What's with the questions?" JC shot at her, suddenly defensive.
"JC, I'm just trying to help."
"By asking me about Justin?"
"I simply want to know if you have any stable relationships, or any romantic interests."
"Other than Lance?" JC's voice came out with a tone that was more bitter than he intended and he studied the floor, unable to meet JoBeth's eyes. JoBeth frowned slightly.
"Yes, other than Lance."
"There's nobody, and I don't think there ever will be. I've spent so much time pining that I have nothing to give anybody else."
"Why the change from pining to whatever you're doing now?"
"Watching from afar."
"Is that what you're doing?"
"I watch Joey and Lance, and I'm sad, but happy at the same time. I'm happy that Lance is happy, but I'm sad that it's not with me. But I know we're not meant to be together."
"How are you so sure?"
"I've seen the way Lance and Joey look at each other. How can I get between them and spoil a fantastic relationship? I love them both too much to do that to them." JoBeth nodded in understanding and simply went on to a new topic. The rest of the session was spent talking about the rest of the guys, and how JC got along with them. By the end, JC was confused. JoBeth hadn't asked him about the rapes, or his suicide attempt, which is what he thought he was seeing her in the first place for. After making another appointment to see her the following week, JC headed for the waiting room where Justin sat, playing with the car keys in his hand.
"Ready?" Justin asked, hearing JC's footsteps approach.
"Let's go," JC said, grabbing Justin's car keys and running out the door. They raced to the car, but JC was quicker and jumped in the driver's side, locking the door behind him. Justin grinned and got in the passenger side.
"Just don't crash my car," Justin teased. JC stuck his tongue out and peeled away from the curb. Somehow, they got back to the hotel in one piece, no thanks to JC's driving. Justin nearly flipped out when they passed a policeman as they were doing about 20 miles over the speed limit, but amazingly, they weren't stopped. JC pulled into the parking lot with a screech and flashed Justin a grin. Justin sat in his seat with his eyes closed, not wanting to look.
"J? We're here."
"I'm in one piece?" Justin asked, not opening his eyes. JC smacked him and got out of the car with Justin following closely behind him, laughing.
"I'm gonna lay down for a while," JC said once they were back at the hotel and in the elevator. Justin nodded.
"Want me to stay with you?"
"No, I'll be fine. You go do something other than worry about me, OK?"
"Josh, it's not that easy... I worry about you all the time." JC smiled fondly at his friend.
"I know you do, and I love you for it. But you're going to make yourself sick if you keep this up so go away for a while. Go bug Nick or something."
"Fine, if you don't love me anymore," Justin laughed as they got out on their floor. JC entered his room and shut the door. Justin smiled and entered his own, thinking about the shower he planned to take. He never saw the other figure in the room, and he barely felt the blow to the back of his head before he fell into darkness.
Lance and Joey lay on the bed in their room, wrapped in each other's warmth and comfort. Joey was content simply to hold his boyfriend, but Lance wanted more. He knew that Joey had told him he wasn't ready for sex, but Lance felt that he was. All he wanted to do was forget about the rapes, and Joey WAS his boyfriend, so Joey would never hurt him in that way. One way or another, Lance was going to have sex with Joey.
"Lance?" he felt Joey mumble.
"Yeah?"
"Whatcha thinking about?"
"Sex," Lance said bluntly. Joey glanced at him.
"Sex? Why?"
"I'm ready."
"Lance, we talked about this..."
"I know, and I can see your point. But unless I get some proof that not all sex is going to be like that, how am I going to get over the fact that I was raped?" The logic was slightly twisted, but Joey found that those eyes were getting very hard to resist.
"Lance, I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't. I trust you." Those simple words, combined with the pleading look in his boyfriend's green eyes was what finally weakened Joey's resolve.
"Are you absolutely sure about this, Lance?" Joey asked. Lance nodded and Joey took a deep breath. "If you want me to stop, say so, OK? No matter what I'm doing, if you tell me to stop, I will. Got that?" Lance nodded again. Joey leaned in and kissed Lance on the lips at the same time pushing him gently onto his back and climbing on top of him. He pulled out of the kiss and studied his boyfriend, lying there so quietly, and with such passion-filled eyes. He quickly leaned down again and pulled Lance's shirt off, as well as his pants, leaving him in only a pair of black boxers. Joey himself stripped down to just his boxers, too, before starting to lick Lance's nipples and letting his hands roam Lance's body. He gently bit one of the rapidly hardening nubs, and felt Lance squirm slightly.
"Joe..." Lance groaned. Joey smiled to himself and continued sucking. He could feel Lance's erection start to poke up between them, so he moved his hand down south and stroked Lance through the boxers. "Shit!" Lance cursed, causing Joey to stop and look up.
"What's the matter?"
"That felt so good," Lance said with a grin, pulling Joey back down. "Do it again?" Joey grinned back.
"You don't have to ask me twice!" With that, his hand and mouth returned to their previous actions. After a few minutes, Joey's mouth roamed farther down, kissing Lance everywhere as he went. Lance groaned again and squirmed slightly, trying to get relief from the sexual tension he could feel building up inside of him. Joey didn't think it was possible for Lance's erection to get any harder, but somehow it did. With one smooth motion, Joey pulled of the boxers and attacked Lance's cock with his mouth. Lance gasped at the new sensation and squirmed around on the bed, trying to disengage Joey's lips. However, Joey wasn't letting go and soon started licking the most sensitive area, causing Lance to moan again.
"Fuck, Joey..." Joey didn't respond, just sucked harder and continued the licking. His hands began to wander up Lance's chest, tickling him gently. Between the two sensations, Lance went over the edge. With a half-grunt, half-groan, he came in Joey's mouth, falling back once he was spent. Joey smiled and rested his head on Lance's chest. His own erection was growing painful, and needed relief from the energies built up inside.
"Wanna try?" Joey asked, taking Lance's hand and moving it to where Joey wanted it to be. Lance's eyebrow shot up, but he got the hint and started copying Joey's earlier actions. However, it didn't work to well when Joey was still on top of him, so he flipped them so that he was on top. Joey lay there, smiling up at Lance, enjoying the feel of Lance playing with his cock, but enjoying the look of contentment on his boyfriend's face even more.
"Joe..." Lance whispered as he pulled Joey's boxers off and studied the hard member he had revealed.
"What?"
"You're beautiful." Joey blushed. "You are... how did I get so lucky?"
"I'M the one who's lucky, Lance," Joey responded, pulling Lance into a kiss which Lance eagerly returned. Lance then moved his mouth farther down Joey's body, taking his sweet time, licking and biting gently as he went. Joey writhed, wanting release and not getting it. "You are such a tease!" Joey finally groaned, as Lance paused in his ministrations. Joey pulled Lance's head up so he could see his boyfriend's eyes, and smiled as he saw the pure animal lust in them. Lance nodded once at Joey's words as he grabbed Joey's cock and started to stroke it. He lowered his head slowly, until finally he replaced his hand with his mouth. Joey almost came right then and there, bucking his hips upwards and making Lance laugh softly at the new sensation. Lance simply sucked harder, teasing the underside of Joey's cock with his tongue until Joey did come, all over the two of them because Lance had removed his mouth by that time. Lance lay beside his boyfriend, watching him try to catch his breath after the intensity their activities.
"We need a shower," Lance laughed when he realized he had 'Joey' all over him. Joey glanced down at himself and laughed. "I guess we do."
"Care to join me?"
"Do you really HAVE to ask?" Joey teased, jumping out of the bed and pulling Lance with him. They laughed all the way to the shower, both trying not to stare at the other's nakedness. They hopped in the shower and started to wash each other gently. As Lance washed his hair, Joey washed his boyfriend's body and vice-versa. Once they were both clean, they headed back to bed, still naked. Joey got in first and opened his arms for his boyfriend, who practically jumped into them.
"Joe... that was amazing," Lance said finally. "I know it's not as far as you wanted to go, but it's a start."
"One step at a time, Lance. One step at a time." They fell asleep like that, curled up in each other's arms and dreaming of the events of the day.
JC lay in his bed, listening to the sounds coming from across the hall. It hurt to hear them, but he was slowly learning how to bury that hurt and be happy for Lance. No matter who it was with, Lance deserved to be happy.
And what about you? a voice in his head asked. Don't YOU deserve to be happy, too? After all that you've been through, I think you're entitled to some loving.
"Go away," JC told the voice. "Lance is happy, and that's all that matters." The voice wouldn't stay quiet, however.
So you just sit here, pining away until you die of a broken heart? it hissed. JC groaned out loud.
"Stop it!" he ordered the voice. "I will find the right person someday, I just have to be patient."
It should be you in there and not Joey.
"STOP IT!" he finally yelled at the top of his lungs. Ten seconds later, there was a knock on his door. JC opened it to find Chris.
"What the?" Chris demanded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I was napping and I heard you yell." JC panicked for a second, debating what to tell Chris.
"Sorry," he finally said. "JoBeth told me I should yell sometimes, you know, get my anger out." JC prayed that the explaination would convince the former psychology student, and was relieved when Chris nodded, the excuse obviously having made sense to him.
"Just warn us next time, OK? I don't want to have another heart attack!"
"Sorry, Chris," JC called as Chris turned and left the room. Sighing heavily, JC fell back on his bed and tried not to think about Lance, or what was going on in the room just across the hall from him.
Justin came to slowly. At least he thought he was coming to. His eyes remained in darkness, and he soon felt something covering them. He tried to speak, but found something was shoved in his mouth, preventing him from uttering even the smallest of sounds. He finally attempted to move his limbs, already knowing what was happening deep inside. He sensed the presence of another person in the room and he started to squirm wildly, trying to get free of the ropes that held him firmly in place.
"Don't bother," a cold voice- a familiar voice- said. "You can't get free from those, believe me. They've already been tested." Justin's thoughts turned to Lance and JC just then, realizing that this was the same person that had raped them. Justin started to fight against the ropes in earnest, trying to prevent the inevitable. The only thing he got from his struggles was ropeburn, so he soon gave up. He felt the other person approach the bed where he lay and slowly remove the gag.
"What the fuck?" Justin got out. He winced as something hard hit his bare stomach.
"They've been talking," the other man said simply. "They must be punished."
"Why are you doing this to them?" Justin demanded, his anger briefly overcoming his fear. He knew who the man was talking about, and his heart twisted.
"Because I can," came the response as another blow struck his stomach, harder this time. Justin bit his lip to keep from crying out, which he knew the other man wanted.
"Why me?" Justin asked, changing the subject. There was no response for a long while. Finally, the voice spoke.
"JC really should have learned his lesson the first time," the man mused. "Seeing what happened the second time he dared do this... well, let's just say that this is going to be a lot of fun for me, but you may not enjoy it as much." The fear returned just then, fueled by the feeling of the bed sinking as the man sat down next to Justin's helpless form.
"Don't touch me," Justin pleaded quietly, trying to inch away. There came the sound of a snort.
"How am I gonna teach JC a lesson if nobody gets hurt?" he asked. Justin bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed. "Drawing blood already? Boy, this is going to be FUN!" He started running his hands over Justin's body, his touch seeming to indicate he possessed Justin. The hands disappeared for a minute before Justin felt something else.
"FUCK!" he screamed as he felt something large and warm push against him. The gag was quickly shoved back in his mouth, silencing him as the man violently began pumping in and out. He hadn't used anything to lube either of them up, so it hurt like nothing else Justin had ever felt. Tears welled up in his eyes behind the blindfold, but he pushed them back. He wasn't going to give this bastard the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He just turned his head away and sent his mind far, far from the hotel room, and simply waited for it to be over.
Well, guys, that was my first sex scene... the fate of Chapter 14 is up in the air right now, as Justin's fate is undecided...
Thanks for reading! -Colleen-