Tearing Up My Heart

By Kay Black

Published on Jul 12, 2003

Gay

Message: Hey Everyone!!! It's me again, Candy! Sorry it's been so long, with school and all we havn't had much time to write but now we might post once more before september but you never know. Again a HUGE thanks to my co-author Kay and just have fun! E-mail us! Love_and_hugz@hotmail.com or Sweet_Love_99@hotmail.com!

Love and Hugz

Candy Ouellette

Disclaimer: This story is fiction. We do not know the Backstreet Boys or their sexual prefrences though we like to guess;) Do not read this if M/M sex bothers you, if it is illegal in your country/area or if you are underage, otherwish enjoy our story......

Tearing Up My Heart 4


Nick stormed out of the studio, jumped into his car and drove home. As he walked up the steps fuming he remembered that Angel was there. Nick stopped at his door and sat down on the top step to think.

As he was thinking about what to do about Angel, she opened the door and stood behind him. She said,

"Hey Nicky, what's wrong?"

Nick spun around to see angel looking all innocent. He had pure hatred in his eyes. Nick stood up, looked at Angel and said,

"You are a boyfriend stealing little bitch you know that??? I can't believe you! I really loved AJ and you had to go and ruin it for me!!! Get out of my fucking house and don't ever come back!!!"

Angel looked hurt, and then she got angry and replied,

"Oh it's MY fault I love your boyfriend? I'm sorry Mister Carter, but I just had to AJ how I felt, No matter what and if you don't want me here FINE!!! I'll get my things and leave. I'll stay with AJ!"

"Oh no you won't, you conniving little whore. You can go straight home in an hour. Get your things ready, I'm calling the airport."

Half an hour later, Nick was driving Angel to the airport. After 15 minutes of pulling strings he finally got the ticket so now they were sitting in Nicks car listening to "She Loves me Not" by Papa Roach, Not even saying a word to each other.

The song ended as Nick pulled up to the airport, let Angel out and drove off. Nick turned off the radio, pulled the car over and thought about everything.

In the end, Nick couldn't come up with a conclusion, so he turned on the radio to clear his head and out came the song "Jesse's girl" and Nick thought to him self "Great Idea! I'll call Jesse and see what he thinks!" So Nick turned on the car and drove home.

When he got home, he jumped out of the car and went up the front steps 2 at a time. He ran into the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed Jesse's number. After 2 rings Jesse picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jesse it's me, Nick."

"Oh...what do you want?"

"Well I want to...that is...to say...I..."

That was it, Nick just broke down crying.

"Hey hey, Nick hun! Calm down....Now what's wrong?"

Nick started to calm down and remembered he wanted to ask Jesse some questions.

"It's...AJ...Jesse? Can I ask you something? I really need someone to talk to right now."

"Ok Nick why don't you come over then? How about in a half hour?"

Nick agreed and Jesse gave him his address, and they said there goodbyes.

Nick had a shower, did his hair and got dressed. He wore dark jeans and a black T. Nick grabbed his keys and his coat and opened the door. In front of him, on his top step with his back facing Nick was AJ, Crying.

'Fuck that,' Nick thought to himself as he turned and walked inside. He heard the phone ring and rushed to pick it up.

"Nick, hey it's me. I got in last night from Jersey, and you never called once. What's up with that huh?" said a familiar voice.

"Misty! I'm so glad you called. I really need a friend right now," Nick said. "I..." he started but was cut off. Misty hung up! Nick went over to the couch and sat down dejected. It seems nothing was working well for him. He put his head in his hands and couldn't believe how shitty things had turned out. Just a few days before he was as happy as ever; and now he just wanted to be alone. Nobody loved him anymore.


The door bell rang, but Nick ignored it. He knew it was AJ, and he didn't want to see him. How could he do that? Not only was it his baby sister but, she was still a baby!

The door opened and Nick peered through his fingers. He couldn't see anyone, but then he felt two slender arms wrap around him and he knew it was Misty. He leaned into her and softly let the words tumble out. She held him and told him it was all ok. Nick looked up into her soft eyes, and saw AJ standing behind her.

"What's he doing here?" Nick asked.

"He was waiting outside for you! He is madly in love with you, and he wants to talk with you and works this out. And I think you should," Misty shot back. Nick shot them looks of steel, and he turned and ran up the stairs slamming his bedroom door and locking it. Misty and AJ looked at each other then climbed the stairs. They knocked on Nick's door and it burst open. Nick pushed AJ away from him and stood in front of Misty.

"I am not mad at you. I still love you, and you will always be my best friend. But I don't know if I can forgive him for this. It's my sister, its Angel," Nick said stonily. He turned and looked at AJ, "She's fourteen AJ, that's sick." He handed AJ something, gave Misty a hug and went back into his room. "I just wanna be alone right now. Please, go home," he said and softly closed the door.

AJ looked at what Nick placed in his hand and he started to cry again. He walked away from his lover as Misty trailed behind him. AJ sat down at Nick's kitchen table and slumped over. The words that were spoken between him and nick replayed in his mind.


"Ummm....I have something to give to you. Would you mind if I gave it to you now?" AJ asked politely.

"Umm No of course not go ahead." Nick said as AJ reached into his pocket to reveal a small black velvet box. Nick inhaled deeply thinking the AJ was proposing to him.

"Now I know what you think this is, but it's not an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. When I give this to you it makes a promise that while you wear it you are in love with me and that you will never betray me. It also shows my love for you and promises that I too will be faithful and I will not betray or lie to you. I hope that you Nickolas

Carter will take this promise ring and treasure it. Will you?!?"

"Of course, AJ, I love you." Nick said while AJ place the ring on his finger.

"I love you too."


AJ placed the ring on the table as he got up to leave. He had forgotten his promise; he'd betrayed Nick like he vowed to never do. No wonder the boy hated him. AJ slipped his sunglasses back on, and got in his car to drive home. He knew things could never go back to the way they were, and he knew it was his fault.


After AJ left Misty went back up to Nick's room and knocked softly, Nick said to her

"If AJ is still here I am not opening this door!!!"

Misty softly said to Nick

"No Nick it's just me, I...I think we need to talk, can I come in?"

Nick opened the door and let Misty in.

"Hey Lil' Nicky, Do you remember way back when we were dating" Misty said as she sat on Nicks bed and patted a spot next to her and Nick sat down.

"Yea Misty, We sure had a lot of fun didn't we?"

"Yea, do you remember the time we went to that restaurant? What's it called?"

"Ah yes The Bel-Noir."

"Yea and we had such an amazing time at the club that night, hey Nick one question...Why did you break up with me any ways?"

"Well Misty I knew that I love you just in a different way then I love A....I mean I never loved you like a girlfriend but I love you like a sister...Does that make sense?"

Misty wrapped her arms around Nick and said

"Yes Nick, It makes perfect sense now."

Just then they both heard a knock at the door. Nick jumped up and ran down the stairs to go get it hoping it wouldn't be AJ. When Nick looked out the peep hole he saw a familiar face. He slowly opened the door and there stood Jesse. Suddenly Nick remembered where he was going when he opened the door to see AJ's back to him. Nick mumbled out,

"Shit."

And Jesse looked at him with concern and replied back,

"Uhhh...Hi Nick, weren't you supposed to be at my house 1/2 and hour ago???"

"Umm...Yea sorry I ran into some trouble, well I mean I ran into an AJ on my front porch."

"Oh, you wanna tell me about it?"

"Yea sure come on in."

Nick said as he opened the door and invited Jesse in, Just then Misty tumbled down the stairs and looked at Jesse. She introduced herself and pulled Nick into the kitchen while Jesse got comfortable. Misty looked at Nick and asked,

"So to get over AJ you decide to fuck some random guy? Nick this won't help!"

Nick chuckled and told Misty,

"This is AJ's ex. I asked to go over to his house and talk and when I didn't show he got concerned so he came over. Don't worry Misty I am not going to fuck him."

"Ok, Well I should go anyways, I've got to get some sleep so I can be up for work tomorrow. You know us Subway managers have high stress jobs!"

Misty hugged Nick and they said their good-byes. After he shut the door, he went into the living room, sat down and talked with Jesse. That night Jesse and Nick ended up talking about AJ and how he was an ass. In the end Nick felt much happier to be able to vent like that. So he invited Jesse for Dinner and a movie. They ended up ordering a pay-per-view movie and ordering some pizza. They both feel asleep on the couch at some point during the movie.

The Next Day

AJ really needed someone to talk to but he didn't want to talk to Brian, Howie, Kevin or especially Nick. He hadn't seen any of the other backstreet boys since leaving the studio. So he finally figured out one person he could talk to. Jesse. So at about 11 AM AJ went over to Jesse's house and knocked on the door. He stood there waiting for about 5 minutes and then knocked again. There wasn't a response so he pulled out his keys and used his house key that he forgot to give back when they broke up. AJ searched the entire house but couldn't find him, so he decided to check and see if anyone had called him on Jesse's phone. As he flipped through the numbers on the call display and saw Nick's number. Nick had called Jesse last night. All of the sudden AJ couldn't breath. He knew where Jesse was. Jesse was with Nick. His Nick, his Jesse. Oh god. He almost passed out. When AJ started breathing again, he left Jesse's, locked the door and drove strait to Nicks.

When AJ got to Nick's house he debated over going inside. What if Jesse was out grocery shopping or he was working? Well he needed to see Nick anyways and if Jesse was there he'd be killing 2 birds with one stone right? Well eventually AJ made it up to Nick's front porch, rang the doorbell and waited. Suddenly the door swung open and there he was standing face to face with a very sleepy Jesse.

"Stop ringing the doorbell, Nick's asleep!!!"

"Yea I bet he is!!!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I bet you rode Nick so hard last night..." AJ just kept going on not even realizing that Nick had woken up to his screaming and had poked his head out the door. Nick was furious! He just started yelling and most of it AJ couldn't understand. What he could make out was,

"YOU FUCKIN ASS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING HERE AND YELLING AT WHO EVER YOU WANT! I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SEX WITH HIM..."

Well Nick went on for a good 15 minutes and AJ was standing there bawling his eyes out. Eventually Nick pushed Jesse into the house and slammed the door in AJ's face. Nick turned to Jesse and apologized for his actions.

"God I am so sorry Jesse. I didn't mean to freak out it's just he makes me so FURIOUS!!!!"

Nick kept talking and going on and on and suddenly Jesse kissed him. Full on the lips. Nick was shocked but didn't stop it. Eventually they both pulled away and Nick looked down at the ground and mumbled,

"Ummm....Maybe you should, ya know go."

"Ok Nick if that's what you want. I'll leave. Bye Nick."

Jesse left and closed the door quietly and whispered out,

"I see why AJ loves him so much."

Nick just grabbed the phone and sat on his couch and called Misty.

"Misty, you wanna go grab lunch or something?"

"Yea sure."

"Ok I'll pick you up in an hour ok?"

"Alright sexy, I'll be waiting!"

"You're such a geek!"

"So? You're such a fruit Cake!"

"So? Love ya Misty, Bye!!!"

"Ok Bye!!"

Nick went for a shower and got dressed. He left the house and noticed that AJ's car was still outside on the curb. Nick just ignored it and got into his car and drove off, leaving AJ crushed.

When Nick went to Misty's and they both decided on Denny's for lunch then a bit of shopping down town. At lunch they talked about Misty's trip and while they were shopping Nick bought Misty tons of stuff. After shopping they went back to Misty's. Nick and Misty spent the rest of the day chatting and hanging out at Misty's. Misty noticed a thin gold chain around Nick's neck, but the end of the chain was under his shirt. There was something on the end of that chain, and Misty noticed it. Misty waited until he was close to her face and grabbed the chain out of his shirt. At the end she found a small gold ring. She remembered it as the ring that AJ left on Nick's table last night. She asked Nick,

"Why do you have this on?"

"Well it's mine. He gave it to me and when I went to get a coffee and sit at the table I saw it. I couldn't bring myself to throw it out or to actually put it on my finger so I put it on the necklace. Why?" Nick said getting all defensive.

"I was just wondering."

"Well I don't think I'll ever put it on my finger again but it reminds me of how happy I was a few weeks ago. I don't know, I hate to part with it." Nick said absently fingering it.

"It's ok to miss him Nick. It's really ok."

Nick started quietly crying.

"I don't want to miss him! I don't want to love him, he hurt me! He betrayed me. He promised never to lie to me, and he did! And I still love him. God, I'm an idiot!"

Misty gathered Nick up in her arms and let him cry until he fell asleep.


A few days later, Misty was working at the counter when Jesse walked into the Subway. They were talking and agreed to hang out when Misty got off in half an hour.

"So why did you kiss Nick last night?" Misty questioned Jesse as soon as they were in his car.

"It shut him up didn't it?" Came the reply. Misty found herself staring at Jesse's lips, they were beautiful. 'Too bad he's gay,' she thought, 'he's sexy as hell.'

Jesse looked at Misty and saw thought in her eyes. He asked "Ummm....Misty what's wrong?"

"Oh...Ah...nothing...I'm just tired....and hungry...wanna get some food?"

"Ok...how about we go to my place and have some pizza delivered?"

"Ok sounds like fun...and then we can figure out how to get Nick and AJ back together...heeheehee!"


At Jesse's...

"So Misty...how's the pizza? I hope you like pepperoni!"

"Yea it's my favorite! Thanks Jesse!"

"No Problem girl!"

"Hey you wanna go to my house and watch a movie? I have a big screen TV in my bedroom...I also have Pay-per view so we can watch a cool flick!"

"Ok sounds like fun! Let's go"

Misty and Jesse got into Jesse's car and drove to Misty's house. On the way there they devised a plan to get AJ and Nick back together. When they got to Misty's they went up to Misty's room, laid on the bed and watched Kate and Leopold. Both of them had fallen asleep before the movie ended.


The next morning Nick came over to Misty's to drive her to work. When Nick rang the doorbell no one came to the door, so he used the key that Misty had given him to get in. He went to the kitchen and made him and Misty coffee before going up to wake her. Nick got upstairs and knocked softly on Misty's door. He figured 'what the hell, I've seen her naked before' and opened the door to see Misty and Jesse, in bed, Nice and cuddled up. Nick started screaming in a high pitched voice,

"OH MY GOD!!! MISTY GET UP!!! OH MY GOD! JESSE! YOUR GAY!" and some other words that no one could even understand.

Misty and Jesse woke up, looked at each other and started blushing. Misty got up and put her hand over Nick's mouth to shut him up and said,

"Nick, this is not what it looks like ok? So just chill out and stop yelling!"

Nick stopped yelling and looked at them. Suddenly he remembered why he was there. "Hey Misty, don't you have to go to work?" "Shit!" she exclaimed, and rushed around the house trying to get ready. They left and Jesse, followed in his car. Afterwards, Nick went back to Jesse's place with him to talk.


"So that's what's happened and I don't know what to do about it. I mean, it's AJ and I love him but well, it's hard after he did that," Nick finished. Jesse nodded and thought for a moment. The silence killed Nick, and he fidgeted like a little child.

"Well, knowing AJ he was probably drunk at the time. Or high. Or both. And while what he did was wrong, it was probably not telling you that made it the worst. So he kissed her, he said he didn't feel anything right? Besides, she's way too young for him and despite everything he may be, one thing he's definitely not is a pedophile. So he made a mistake, a huge one, but he still loves you. And if you can forgive him and give him another chance I think you can trust him again too," He said softly. Nick knew he was right. It was a lot to think about, and it hurt. He thanked Jesse and gave him a hug before he left. He knew he had to go home and call AJ. They had to talk.

When Nick got home AJ was sitting on his front steps taking drags off his cigarette. Nick longed to hold him and kiss him and tell him it was ok, but it wasn't ok. Nick opened the door and motioned him in. Wordlessly, they sat at the kitchen table looking at each other. AJ nervously drummed his fingers on the table and Nick, noticing the chipped black nail polish on his fingers, laughed. AJ looked like someone had just slapped him. Nick slid over to sit closer to AJ and smiled softly, "It's ok you know. I....I...I forgive you," he sighed. He placed a tender kiss on AJ's lips and he could taste the remnants of the cigarette. AJ pulled away and looked at him warily.

"You do?"

"Yup," he replied and suddenly they were kissing again, only now it was more forceful as they made their way to Nick's room ripping off clothing on the way, they're lips never leaving each other's.

They made love all night and when dawn was breaking AJ's eyes fluttered open. He looked down at his lover sleeping in his arms and traced the patterns of the early-morning sun across his arms, face, and chest. He sighed as he played with the straw colored hair fanning out on the pillowcase and brushed a strand off of the closed blue eyes. AJ vowed to make it up to Nick someday soon. He knew that things would be ok with the two of them; Nick didn't go back to people that hurt him that badly. AJ smiled as he kissed Nick's forehead softly, and Nick cuddled closer to his bare chest murmuring and the two of them drifted off to sleep again.

TBC....Hopefully


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