Disclaimer: We do not know the Backstreet Boys and/or their sexual preferences. This story is not meant to imply anything, other than that our minds are messed up and we're wishing for something we'll never see. IF you don't like to read about m/m sexual relationships then leave. If you are breaking any laws by being here than leave. Otherwise enjoy.
Notes: I wanna thank my friend Candy O. for helping me write this. She deserves as much recognition as I do, she wrote half! This story is basically writing itself and we're not sure when the next chapter will be out, but there WILL be one! This will probably be written in monthly installments, but we hope it will be worth the wait. Now without further adue we give you:
Tearin' Up My Heart
There was a knock at his front door. Aj sauntered over and opened it up. Standing there in the rain, dripping wet, was one of his best friends. AJ could tell by the look on his face something was bothering him. He probably needed some advice about his latest girlfriend. "Hi. Can I come in?" "Sure, Nick. Let me get you a towel," Nick stepped inside and closed the door, "Something bothering you? Anything I can help with?" Nick paused and drew in a deep breath."Yeah, actually I figured you'd be the bestto go to. I mean, seeing that you went through this." AJ looked confused and threw him a towel. Nick followed AJ to the couch and sat down. "Go on." "Um, well, I'm not quite happy with my girlfriend...in fact, I broke up with her last night..." Nick trailed off. 'Figures' AJ thought. "And, uh, you see...I think I might be, well not really, but I'm curious about, well, um..being with..another guy. So I thought I could talk to you." AJ was speechless. He'd been open with the guys about his sexuality for some time now, but he'd never expected any of them to be gay also.And now Nick was telling that he wondered about it. This was a shock. AJ wondered if Nick had anyone in mind to experiment with. Then AJ was taken by surpise when Nick leaned over and kissed him. AJ felt Nick's warm moist toungue enter his mouth and he deepened the kiss.Nick pulled away and look AJ in the eyes. "AJ I thought I should tell you because...well...I...love you!."Nick said looking at the floor almost whispering. "Nick...I...I" AJ said trailing off. "I know I am such and Idiot I can't belive I told you I knew it. Fuck am I stupid I should go. What the fuck was I thinking? Oh my god AJ I am SO sorry. ...I..Bye." Nick said standing up to grab his coat. "Oh shut up and Kiss me." AJ said to Nick as he grabbed him by the collar pulling him into his awaiting lips. They fell to the floor in a passionate kiss Oh how AJ wanted to feel Nick's chest. He pulled Nicks shirt over his head Nick looked at him half shocked half thrilled. "This is ok with you right?" AJ asked seeing Nick shocked. "Perfect. This is what I wanted." Nick said pulling AJ in for another kiss. Nick pulled of AJ's shirt and saw his beautiful six pack. Nick started to work his way down plating little kisses all the way down AJ's chest stopping only to lick AJ's nipples playfully, working his way down to AJ's tight leather pants he looked into AJ's eyes and saw him odd and continued to unzipp his pants and pulling down his boxers the noticed a huge and hard cock in his face. Not knowing quite what to do he started to jack him off the way he knew that he liked it. AJ threw his head back and moaned loudly. "Oh Oh Nick!!Oh Oh Oh!! Oh faster!! Here I cummmm."AJ screamed as he came in Nicks face. Nick not quite sure what to do looked at AJ. AJ looked into his eyes and said "Nick baby, fuck me." AJ stode up and grabbed a bottle of lube out of the top dresser drawer and walked over to Nick who looked nervous. "Are you sure you wanna do this??" AJ asked Nick looked at him and said "I would love to." A huge smile spreading across his face. He grabbed the bottle of lube and pushed AJ onto the floor, first lubing himself then lubing AJ's hole. Putting AJ's legs around him he placed his cock up against his hole and slowly pushed into him. AJ moaned and screamed Nicks name loudly. Nick started pumping faster and faster untill Nick screamed "Here it cummmmms!!" And him came in AJ's ass. Then a few seconds later AJ came too. Nick pulled out of AJ and collapsed beside him holding each other they fell asleep. * * * * * When AJ woke up he felt his arms around a warm body. He couldn't recall Jesse comin over last night. Then he began to remember the passionate love he and Nick shared, he remembered Nick's whispered confessions that he ha loved AJ since so long ago. AJ had a tear in his eye as he gazed at the sleeping blond angel. And then reality struck him. Nick was in love with him, but he couldn't love Nick. How could he, when hewas so in love with Jesse, his boyfriend? Jesse had been there for AJ when he came out to the guys. He loved Jesse so much and he couldn't see himself hurting the man. But where did that leve his sweet, innocent Nick? Aj's thoughts were interrupted by the stirrings of his lover. Morning baby," Nick sighed, and leaned in to kiss AJ; but he pulled away. Nick, I can't." Why not?" Because I don't love you. I can't love. Last night was a mistake. Please, Nick, go home and forget about me, forget about last night. We're not right for each other." AJ got up and felt his heart tearing in two. He knew Nick's must be too, but this was for the best. He loved Jesse; and things could never work between him and Nick. AJ pulled on his black silk boxers and went to get dressed leaving a grieveing Nick on the couch. Later that day AJ went over to Jesse's apartment. He needed to talk with him, and it needed to be now. He was greeted with a smile and a warm kiss from his boyfriend. "AJ, babe, you never called last night. You look like you were crying, is something the matter? Jesse questioned with his emerald green eyes full of concern. AJ lit up a cigarette and started to pace the apartment, not speaking. Finally Jesse got fed up and pulled himonto the couch. AJ ran his fingers through Jesse's soft black hair. He pulled away from his love's embrace and put out his cigarette. He turned to look Jesse in the eye, took a dep breath and then began. "Jesse, baby, I love you, But I think we really need to talk... " "What about hun?" Jesse's gentle emerald eyes looked at AJ's stern face "Ok well...you know last night I was pretty hammered?" Jesse nodded not quite sure what AJ was getting at. "Well after you left, a good friend of mine, Nick you've met him? Well any way he came over pretty upset about his girlfriend, he needed to talk so we so we talked and he told me...he said...he..came outta the closet." Looking at the floor he continued. "And he said he loved me since the day we met, and....he.....Kissed me and...wel...one thing led to another and we..." Aj trailed off not able to complete his thought. Jesse just looked at him unable to say anything , he just stared in disbelief, finally AJ said to Jesse "Well aren't you gonna say something?Yell?Scream?beat the hell outta me?Something? anything?"Jesse looked up at AJ with tears filling his beautiful eyes. "AJ I love you, GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE!!!" * * * * * Mean while...... Nick left AJ's and needed to talk to someone. Anyone. Then he remembered... Misty! His ex and best friend! Someone he could tell anything to. He decided to call Misty on his cell."Hey..it's Nick..I need to talk..sure..Starbucks..37th and main..20 minuts..ok..see ya then..bye."Nick turned off his phone and sighed as he started up his green corvette and drove off putting his sunglasses and bucket hat disguise. He drove up to the Starbucks Turned off the car and sighed think about AJ. He walked ionto the Starbucks and sat down waiting for Misty when she got there he ran over to her and hugged her while sobbing getting her shoulder all wet. She hugged him and soothed him untill he calmed down enough to talk calmly. He told the whole story and when he finished she just said "What an Asshole!"He looked at her and burst out crying and screaming "I love him!Oh god I Love him!" Misty looked at him with love in her eyes and said "Hun, I know you love him but he don't and won't love you." Nick looked at her and he was as mad as hell "What the fuck Misty! I thought you would say something comforting not this you cold hearted BITCH!"He ran out of the Starbucks into the parking lot and started up his corvette and screamed out of the parking lot not thinking clearly he drove as fast as he could. Not being in the right state of mind he sped not noticing the 18 wheeler coming strait for him. "Shit!" Nick screamed and swung the car to the left, just as the semi truck was about to hit him. The truck swerved as well almost hitting a lamp post. Both drivers got out of their cars and Nick ran over to the trucker. "Are you ok man? Sorry I wasn't really paying attention." Nick explained. "It's fine, your car looks ok, this big rig ain't hurt, you look fine, and I know I am." The man explained he looked to be about 25 with deep chocolate brown eyes, and shaggy red hair. He had an air about him that Nick found sexy."Hey, aren't you that dude from *N Sync? Ashley right? I watch your show all the time!" Nick couldn't help but laugh. "Actually, I'm Nick, from Backstreet Boys. Listen, I have to get going, but I'm really sorry about everything." Nick said and turned to get into his corvette. * * * * "What do you mean? Please, Jesse, babe, can't we just talk about this? I love you," AJ said, dropping to his knees and grabbing Jesse around the waist, holding him close, "I don't want to hurt you, that's why I told you. I'm not hiding this from you, because there is nothing to hide. It was a moment of bad judgement and I'm so sorry. Please Jesse, please don't leave me. I need you so much." Jesse looked sternly at AJ. "If you needed me so much then you wouldn't have slept with him. I can't understand your actions. You say you love me then you sleep with someone else. I have ALWAYS been here for you. I have done everything I can to make you happy. I love you, how could you betray me like this?" AJ started to cry. He was the one who did this, it was his stupidity that did all this. AJ got up to leave, tears streaming down his face, but Jesse stopped him. "AJ? Do I really mean alot to you? Do you really love me? Was being with Nick really just a bad decision, or is it something more? I love you, and I don't wanna let you go, but I might have to. Please, AJ, speak to me." AJ looked at Jesse and started to cry harder. "AJ I can't talk to you right now I think....I think...we need to have a break from each other. I love you with all my heart but...you betrayed me and I need some time to deal with this. Please just leave me alone." With that AJ left and sat in his car for half an hour thinking about everything he has done in the last 24 hours "FUCK!! I can't belive it!! Why do these things always have to happen to me!!Oh my god i need to talk to... Nick. I nee to explain to him what happened and why I can't love him." AJ was about to start up his car when he burst out ceying "God I LOVE NICK! How could I fall in love with my best friend!GOD I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM." AJ kept repeating those words over and over again. AJ decided to call Nicks cell ." Hey Nick.. It's me... I'm sorry... I think we should talk... are you busy??? Ok well call me later...Love ya...Bye" After hanging up the phone both AJ and Nick clued in. ***** Meanwhile.... "WAIT!!" The trucker screamed after Nick "Shit" Nick mumbled under his breath ' of course I aint gonna get off that easy' "Yeah" He turned and looked the hansome man in the eyes. "Um.... I was thinking..." Just then Nick's cell rang "Just a sec" He heard AJ's voice on the other end "Hello...yah....yah...ok..yeah..love ya too...Bye" Just then they both clued in to the conversation that they had just had .... Did they ... Love each other??? "Was that your girlfriend or something? Listen, man, maybe I should let you go to her. I don't wanna be a bother anymore." The hauler explained. 'Shit, I should have know a gorgeous man like that wouldn't be gay. I almost made such a fool out of my self.' "No," Nick said, "actually, I don't have a girlfriend. Actually, I'm, uh, gay." Nick looked at the ground waiting for the laughs and names to start, but when the trucker said nothing he looked up. "I'm gonne be in town for the next week. Maybe we could hook up, Nick? Here's my number, call me." And with that they both got in their cars. Nick was so confused. Did he love AJ? And why did AJ turn his back on him, then call and say he loved him? What was going on? When Nick got home AJ was waiting for him in the driveway. He parked and let AJ inside when his cell rang yet again. "Nick, it's Misty. Please don't freak, I just called because I'm worried about you. I know I didn't react the way you wanted; but really Nick, you didn't have to flip like that. I don't want to fight with you. I just wanted to see if you're ok." "Whoa, Misty, breathe hun. I'm fine, sorry for freaking on you back there. Um, AJ came over so I'm gonna have to call you back, I think I need to talk to both of you.....ok....bye!" Nick hung up the phone and looked at AJ. "I'm thinking we need to talk." "Yeah, I think so too." "So, AJ, Start talking." AJ took a deep breath and then began. "Well, Nick, I do have feelings for you. But I know we could never work. I mean I'm not with Jesse anymore, but you and me just wouldn't work out. I really hope that we'll be ok as just friends, and I really hope that things don't get weird. Nick, please don't just look at me blankly. Nick? Say something?" Nick just couldn't figure out why it didn't hurt as much as he expected. Somewhere deep in his heart he knew what AJ was saing was true, maybe that's why. Nick stuck his hands into his pockets and felt the crumpled paper. "AJ, I understand. I love you, but I can understand if you don't want to be with me. Maybe its not you I love, but the idea of you that I love. I have to move on, I'm sad don't get me wrong, but this is for the best. Let's try and not make it weird, ok? Well, I'm really tired so I'll see you later, ok?" Nick faked a yawn as AJ left. As soon as the door closed Nick pulled out the wrinkled paper and called the trucker to set up a date. ***** AJ sat in the driveway for an hour thinking about Nick. He knew he loved Nick and he wanted to be with him but, it was clear that Nick had gotten over him. What could he do to make Nick realize that they should be together. H e didn't know what to do. AJ decided to leave and go get some sleep he had had one hard day and he needed to get his priorities in line.After AJ got home he decide to call Jesse. "Het Jesse..whats up...not much...just hanging...oh..i see...yeah...miss you too...ok...buh bye.." AJ hung up and laid down on the bed. 'What the hell was i thinking telling Nick I have feelings for him and still having feelings for Jesse.As AJ pondered he fell into a deep dreamless sleep. ***** That night Nick and Dave (the trucker) Went out on a date. They went to dinner and a movie. After the movie Nick and Dave went back to Nicks house. When they got inside Nick and Dave were kissing passionatly.They were both full af passion and they both wanted each other. Just as Nick was pulling Dave into his room the phone rang. "Shit," Nick swore under his breath, "let's just let the machine pick it up." Dave nodded. The machine answered it and then they heard Brian's urgent voice. "Nick, c'mon, pick up. I know you're there. Fine, be like that. I have something really important I need to talk to you about. Please call me A.S.A.P. I heard something from AJ we need to discuss. Call me. See ya Frack." Nick looked at Dave, "So do you wanna or not?" he questioned and pulled Dave into his bedroom closing the doors behind him. Dave looked at Nick questioningly when Nick pulled out the handcuffs, and ripped off his shirt, throwing him on the bed. He straddled Dave and then undid the belt and button on his pants pulling them down. Nick then took the handcuffs and handcuffed a now half-naked Dave to the headboard of his bed. Straddling his lover, Nick took off his own shirt and pants and leaned over and grabbed out some condoms and lube. He looked at Dave, and Dave nodded. Nick took off their boxers and put on one of the condoms. He dipped his fingers into the lube and coated the condom. Then Nick wiggled one finger inside Dave's hole to lube him. When he saw the look of sheer pleasure on Dave's face Nick sipped in another finger and slowly started to finger-fuck him. When Nick had had enough he pulled his fingers out and positioned himself so that his head was at Daves hole. He pushed his engorged cock into Dave and started to thrust in and out. Nick worked faster and faster, he took Dave's dick in his hand and started to give him a hand job. Neither heard the door open and a voice call for Nick. Nick started to pump harder and harder, he was so close to the edge and he could tell dave was too. "Oh god Nick that feels so good."Dave moaned as the door to the bedroom opened. Just then Dave came crying out Nick's name over and over. The tightening of Dave's ass caused Nick to cum. "Oh, yesss! I'm cuuummmming!!!" Nick called and collapsed on Dave's chest. "Oh. My. God." Said the man from down stairs. "Holy Shit! What are you doing here?" Nick accused staring straight into his eyes. AJ looked hurt like a sad little puppy when he said. "Well I came to..um...apologize but it seems that you've gotten over me quite quickly so I'll leave."AJ said as he stromed out of the bedroom and down the stairs. When he reached to door he had tears streaming down his face. Nick thought to himself 'On shit' as he grabbed his boxers and ran downstairs to find AJ at the door about to leave "AJ I...I...pleaz turn around and talk to me.Why did u come here after you told me that you didn't love me huh?tell me?" AJ spun around on his heel looking Nick strait in the eyes "Nick I came back to tell you that I was wrong and that.." AJ kissed Nick and turned around."Bye Nick...I...I...Love you." And with that AJH left Nick sitting in his living room feeling about 100 emotions.Love,Hate,Guilt,shame. Whatever other emotions you can think of. As soon as AJ left Nick called brian on his cell and told him everthing that happened. As soon as Nick finished Brian said "Oh my god!Ok Can I ask you a question... Do you love him?"Well do you?"Nick sat in silence as the realization of what had happened tonight. Dave decided to leave in the middle of his conversation with Brian. Nick felt like crap all of the sudden Brian cut him back into reality by ask "Do you love him?"Again. Nick decided to asewr his qestion honestly "Yes" He whispered"Well then you have to tell him!and now before he does something you'll both regret.Well I gotta go. Call him!"and with that Brian hung up. Nick sat in the dark for about an hour before calling AJ's cell phone. "Hey AJ? It's Nick. Can we talk?....mmm hmmm....ok....I'll be right over. Bye, I love you. ***** When Nick got to AJ's house he found AJ crying on the couch. "AJ, babe, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Nick sat down and held AJ. He ran his fingers through AJ's hair and softly kissed his lips."Shhh, AJ. It's ok babe, don't cry." AJ pulled away from Nick's grasp and looked him in the eye. "It's not ok, Nick don't you understand? I love Jesse, but I'm in love with you. You tell me you love me, but do you really? And who was that guy at your house. What's going on Nick? I NEED to know, I'm so confused." AJ said turning away from Nick. "AJ look at me. I LOVE YOU! That guy back at my place was nothing, a way to get over you because you didn't want me, ok? I was willing to move on, if you didn't love me. I thought that would be for the best. Listen, I know I haven't been acting that way, but AJ, babe I really do love you. Please, just give me a chance to let you see." Nick pulled AJ into him and whispered in his ear, "I love you." He softly kissed AJ's lips and ran hs fingers u and down AJ's spine, causing him to shiver. AJ put his arms around Nick and pulled him in closer deepening the kiss, slowly slipping his tongue in between Nick's lips. When the kiss finally ended Nick told AJ he wanted to take things slow, he held
AJ and they fell alseep together.
That's it that's all..for now. Hope you enjoy. E-mails are: sweet_love_99@hotmail.com and love_and_hugz@hotmail.com . Any comments or suggestions are welcomed and enjoyed.
Kay and Candy