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• That possibility is a reality! Alex said with a smile. When I first saw you I didn't want to have sex with you. I wanted to reach a point where I would be able to make love to you. Sex is wonderful, but is not love. Love is wonderful, but is not sex. But when both meet, it gets the best out of you. Sex is easy and you can get it anywhere and at any time. Making love is a treasure that has to be cherished. Making love is something so beautiful that we hide it in our bedroom. Making love doesn't need any witnesses. It is the physical expression of the inner feelings.

Alex got straight to my heart with this statement. My conviction about what Tiffany had told me, got stronger and stronger by the minute. Yes, he was a man I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I just knew he was going to be the man who would give me Love, Trust and Respect. He was the one who would stand by me at all times. The happiness I felt at that moment was so immense that the tears started to flow from my eyes.

Alex wasn't even surprised when he saw the tears rolling down on my cheeks. He instinctively knew they were tears of happiness. He leaned in and with his thumbs he wiped the tears away. His hands took my face and he came closer, till our lips met. It was just like the first kiss we shared: soft and full of tender care. That man knew how to kiss! But most importantly, he knew when to use what kind of kiss. The tender loving ones he used for soft moments. The more aggressive ones he kept for when he was about to climax. The more elaborate ones to wake up my hormones and activate my libido. Yes, he was an expert kisser.

Alex collected his things from the entrance and the hallway, to have everything at hand in the morning. He also switched on his cell phones as a new working day was starting in the early morning. I switched off the lights and went to the bedroom. I prepared a clean shirt, underwear and socks for him to wear. We slipped between the sheets and it wasn't a surprise his hands were all over me. We made love for several hours. We tried out all the possible positions, enough to put the Kamasutra at shame. I had seen Alex as a total top, but it was clear he was as versatile as I was. After we climaxed both several times, we fell asleep in each other's arms.

As I never used an alarm clock, when Alex's cell phone beeped to wake him up, I didn't realize what it was and sat up in bed, almost in panic. How I hated to wake up artificially! But Alex immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. The warmth of his body was marvelous.

• Good morning Sunshine, he said. Didn't you say that if I stayed the night we would have some quality time before I run off to work?

I smiled. He surely remembered the important things! He pulled me on top of him and we kissed.

• Yes, I did say that. I said. What would you say if we took a warm shower together?

• Before or after coffee?

The message was crystal clear. I got out of bed and ran down the stairs to the kitchen and made a fresh pot of coffee. When it was ready I filled two mugs and took it up to the bedroom. Alex had fallen asleep again. I guessed that our lovemaking had worn him out the previous night. I kneeled down at his side of the bed and brought the coffee mug under his nose. I was sure the smell of the coffee would wake him up and it did. He smiled even before opening his eyes. I was so in love with his smile! One of these days I would make some pictures of him with that smile on his face and put it, framed, on my working desk! Alex propped himself up on one elbow and took the mug with one hand, kissing me to thank me. I was still on my knees when he sat up, threw the sheets aside and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn't, and couldn't, hide his morning wood that was pointing to the ceiling. That was another picture I wouldn't mind to take! I made a mental note to see if there was a possibility to have a photo shoot with both of us.

Alex pulled me to the bathroom and turned on the water. While the temperature was adjusting, he tried to empty his bladder but it was a difficult task with morning wood. He finally succeeded and we jumped under the cascading water of the shower. Washing was suddenly not the most important thing anymore, but the soap was welcome for other purposes. It allowed us to feel each other's skin in fluid and gliding motions. It was far more erotic than sexual. Being in each other's arms under the falling water was like kissing in the rain, a tropical rain that was warm and pleasant on our skin. Our kissing was transmitting our feelings once more and I thought it was a fantastic way to start the day. Alex's presence was giving me a totally new energy and I soon forgot how early in the morning it was. Our hard rods were pressed against each other between our stomachs and the friction of our dancing bodies was pushing us towards ejaculation of our seeds. We didn't need our hands to reach that point. My hands were playing with Alex's buttocks while his fingers penetrated my ass. I spurted my load between our bellies and Alex's juice soon joined mine. The advantage of showering together and climaxing under the cascading water was that it was all washed away very easily. Once that water drained our juice, Alex apologized for leaving the shower so quickly after coming, but he didn't want to be late at work. He was a punctual guy and expected the same from his men. He dressed quickly while I pulled on some 501's and stepped in my flip-flops. I took the empty mugs down to the kitchen while Alex finished his morning routine. I filled a second mug for Alex who drank it before kissing me and running out of the house.

There I was. Fully awake almost two hours earlier than normal. I took advantage of the situation by sitting at my desk, switching on my computer and reading the two or three last pages I had written. When I reached the last word of the last sentence I had my hands on the keyboard and they started to dance over it slowly at first but with increasing speed. My inspiration was clearly back in working order and I filled page after page, giving my story a new and unexpected turn of events. After about two hours of furious typing, strangely enough, I want to have another cup of coffee. In normal circumstances I have a mug of coffee when I wake up and that's it for the day, but I wanted more that morning. I went to the kitchen to fetch a mug and sat down again at my computer. I just took a sip from my coffee that was still too warm to drink more. I read the last three sentences and left my hands on the keyboard. My fingers once again started to move over it with increasing speed. My novel was a love story between two guys, but their love was impossible because of their upbringing. The feelings I wanted to describe were easy enough as I imagined what it would be if my love for Alex was not responded. I knew that I would have to read it all over again and add details, but I wanted the basics on the hard drive before they escaped me. It was typical for me to have the characters see the light at the end of the tunnel, living up to it and then realize the light was just an illusion, a mirage. Once they were back to reality I would bring up a new hope.

That morning I wrote at least two chapters. They would probably double in length when I read them over and added the necessary details. It was just noon and I was satisfied with the work I had delivered. I was just about to prepare something for lunch when someone rang the front doorbell. It was Alex.

• I forgot when I left this morning that it is Sunday. I was already surprised at having almost no traffic at all and when I reached the office, there was no one there. That's when I knew I had made a mistake. But nonetheless, as I was there I took my time to work on some unfinished business and paperwork. I am very glad I did because it's that part of the job I hate! Now I am up-to-date with the paperwork. It's incredible what you can achieve when the phone is not ringing and nobody comes to bother you with stupid questions and requests.

He rattled on about his paperwork till I stood in front of him and planted a kiss on his lips.

• You are supposed to enjoy a day free of work. So, why don't you go upstairs and change. Pick one of the jeans in the wardrobe. Meanwhile I will prepare us a light lunch and open a bottle of chilled white wine.

• You got it Sir! He said before running up the stairs.

I was finishing a nice salad when he came down in one of my black 501's. Jeez, he looked so sexy showing his naked chest and his narrow waist in the tight fitting jeans. 501's surely showed his nice butt, leaving nothing to the imagination. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, but I gave him the task to take out the bottle of wine out of the fridge and uncork it. I told him where the glasses were and to look for a tablecloth in the appropriate drawer to cover the table on the terrace. I took out some plates and cutlery and followed him outside. The weather was warm but not that hot that we would need the umbrella. I went back in to retrieve some deepfreeze bread that I had put in the oven.

We sat down and I served him first and then me. We toasted to our friendship and more. Alex was clearly hungry but took his time to enjoy the simple meal.

• In envy you, he said. You can cook! I would probably be lost even if the only thing I had to do was frying an egg. Since I left home, I haven't cooked a single meal. I always find something on the road or in a little cafŽ just around the corner of my office. I think that take-away food is a wonderful invention, but I have to admit that your cooking is far better than anything I ate in the last years, except my mother's cooking.

• Are your parents still alive?

• Yes they are. Of course, they are living in the town I left. My father was a bookkeeper and my mother a nurse. They are both retired now and if your calculation of ages confuses you, the explanation is easy. They didn't intend to have children. I was an "accident" if you can say so, but when my mother discovered she was pregnant, she was already over thirty years old. Accident or not, they were both happy with my arrival. I was loved and cherished like no other kid. I admired them so much and returned their love as much as I could. I was still very young when I sensed I was different and freely asked them about it. My mother expected the conversation. You know... mothers do sense those things. Mum and Dad explained me patiently about the bees and the flowers. Then they explained that some bees preferred bees and some flowers didn't like bees. It was quite picturesque how they explained it but I got the point. They just said that if I was happy, they didn't care about who I was going to share my bed with. Mum was a bit worried when I said I wanted to join the police forces. She, as any mother, was thinking about the risks of the job and didn't mention her fear that I could be killed doing my job, but I knew that was what she was thinking. Anyway, she, as well as my father, respected my choice and were very supportive all the way till I graduated. As soon as I earned money I went to live on my own, but Mum insisted of keeping on doing my laundry. At each visit she had some Tupperware boxes filled with what she called "left-overs" but I knew she was preparing them especially for me. Since I arrived here it is a bit more difficult to go and see them, because of the hectic hours I have and the three hours drive to go and the three hours to come back. But we talk over the phone quite a lot. One of these days I would be happy if you joined me and visit them!

That was a nice thought! For the little I knew about Alex, this invitation was really important. I could easily guess that he hadn't taken too much boyfriends to meet his parents and asked him about it.

• You're right. I have taken home only one guy that I thought was boyfriend material. But we were not even eighteen at the time and I didn't introduce him as a "boyfriend" but rather as a friend. Steven and I are still friends and we were friends with benefits till he met someone that was fulfilling his dreams and hopes. Steven and Fred are in a serious relationship for over ten years now. My Mum tells me he still go and visit them from time to time and even a little bit more now that I am further away than I used to.

He paused a moment with a little smile on his face, probably thinking about his friend Steven.

• What about your parents? Alex asked.

• My father died about ten years ago from cancer. It is a painful episode in my life. He suffered far more than necessary. He was in such pains that he asked the doctor for an "overdose" of tranquilizers but the doctor didn't give it to him, although he wanted to. He was risking far too much. Mercy killing is still, legally, killing and he didn't want to be charged with murder and lose his license. After his death, my Mum was so miserable, missing him so much, that she was almost more in pain than my father had been. She constantly asked my brother and me why she was still on this earth. She totally stopped taking care of herself. She ate almost nothing, didn't bother to clean the house any more and so on. My brother Michael and I went once a week to clean up and eventually could persuade her to have a shower and dress nicely as we were taking her out. She accepted because we were her children, but she didn't enjoy it. As your Mum does with you, I did with mine: cooking more than necessary so I could put it in Tupperware boxes and take it to her, but when looking in her fridge, I saw that she wasn't touching them. She had lost so much weight that it her Michael and me to see her. One week, we went over as usual and found her sitting in my father's favorite chair, not moving. When I touched her cheek I felt it was ice-cold. She had reached the point she wanted: being reunited with my father. Michael and I both felt guilty that we had not taken her into our home and watch her closely but realized she would have refused anyway. Michael and I have grown apart. We don't see each other a lot. He lives about three streets away and despite that, our paths never cross. When we see each other we are polite and greet each other, but after only a minute we don't know what to say.

• I am really sorry about that, Alex said. Don't you think it is a huge waste of time to be almost strangers to each other?

• Yes, it probably is. The problem is that we have nothing to say to each other. He never talks about his life or his wife. I know he works hard and is respected as the supervisor he is at the factory where he is employed but I admit I don't know what he is supervising. His wife works in the offices at the same factory. Actually it is where they met. They have no children and I don't think they ever wanted any. But in a nutshell that's all I know about them. We didn't have any arguments or quarrels. We just grew apart.

• Do they know you are gay?

• Yes, my brother knew when I came out to my parents. It has never been a problem in our house. Respect was one of the things we have been brought up with. His wife knows as well, but never mentioned it.

• I always wanted to have siblings. Don't misunderstand me, I had a happy childhood and youth, but I wanted a brother or a sister to share things with. That's why I think it is a pity you don't get along better with yours. Do you think there would be a way to be closer to your brother and sister-in-law?

• I don't know Alex. It is something I have never really thought about. It happened all so surreptiously. There was no particular reason to grow apart, it just happened. Now I am used to it and I don't miss them. Who knows what the future has in store for us and whatever it is, I will welcome it.

• Ok, whatever you say. You know your situation and your brother's and whatever you do, I will respect and support your decision even if that means that you won't do anything.

I stood up to clear the table, taking the plates and the EMPTY bowl of salad to the kitchen. I didn't have to ask Alex if he wanted coffee. He was addicted to it. When I came back out on the terrace the sun was giving Alex a special glow. The little sweat pearls on his body were like a million little lights on his skin. He had closed his eyes and looked so relaxed and peaceful. The five o'clock shadow was already appearing on his jaw and I tried to imagine him with a-day-or-two stubble. I liked what my imagination was showing me. As soon as he smelled the coffee his eyes sprang open.

• Are you trying to seduce me with a mug of coffee? Alex asked.

• I surely hope I don't need a mug of coffee to seduce you! I surely hope you see more in me than a waiter serving you coffee!

He laughed out loud and I joined in. He grabbed me by the waist without standing up, resting his head on my stomach. I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, gently playing with his hair, caressing his head. It was one of those special moments where we connected without needing words. Out of the blue I heard Alex's voice.

• I want to move in with you.

I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly. Did he just say he wanted to move in with me? My God! We made love for the first time just one day ago! We were still learning to know each other. But Alex went on.

• I want to move in with you so that every single second that I don't have to work can be like this one. I want... no, scrap that. I need to feel you close. I need to feel your skin. I need to put my head on your chest and hear your heart beat. I need to feel your lips on mine. In one word: I love you!

I was flabbergasted, flattered and getting very emotional all at once. It was Alex who had actually pronounced THE three words sentence. He wanted, even if he didn't know it, to make my dream come true. I didn't know what to say. I had a knot in my throat and even if I wanted to say anything, I couldn't. My silence apparently got on his nerves.

• Do you have any doubts about us? Are you not sure about the feelings I have for you? Do you think we are not compatible or complementary?

I had to find my voice again and quickly! I cleared my throat.

• No Alex, I don't have any doubts about us. No, I don't doubt about your feelings for me as I have the same ones towards you and yes, I am sure we are compatible and complementary! I'd be delighted if you came and live here. Jeez, that house has been so quiet and silent for too many years. But most of all, my heart has been empty for too many years. You took a special place in my heart and I admit it, you stole my heart quite some time ago. So... give me just a minute...

I went into the house and came back almost immediately, handing him the key to the house.

• Is that enough of an answer? I asked him.

He jumped to his feet, took me in his arms and pressed our chests together. Our lips met and we kissed softly at first, but the passion of the kiss grew quickly and feverishly. When we parted I saw that his eyes were as moist as mine and with a bright shine in them. Nonetheless, despite giving him the key, I thought this was going a little fast. After all, we didn't know each other that well, but I trusted Tiffany, right? So why wait for the inevitable? It implied of course to make some space in closets and wardrobe. I had never been to his place and I didn't know if he owned a lot or not. My house was not particularly small, but everything had his place and every place had its thing. But that was not really the biggest problem. The main question was to know if I was ready to settle for a life of waiting, not knowing, expecting when and how he was going to get home. I trusted him, there was no doubt about that. But I didn't trust the criminals he was pursuing! Yes, he had a gun, but so did those thugs in the streets. I couldn't hold back all these questions to myself. He had to know what was going on in my mind. We were on the verge of living together and my conviction was that a communal live, apart from being based on Love, Trust and Respect, was also based on communication, sharing of thoughts and feelings, fears and joys. So I mentioned it to him. He suddenly looked very serious.

• Gerald, I don't want you to worry!

• Ok, I can understand that you don't want it but it is as if you said you don't want the sun to shine or a child to cry!

• I know what you mean and you do understand me. I will make you remember your own words. "Live the present, as the past is gone and can't be changed and the future is a real mystery. Your fears won't prevent what Destiny has in store for you. You can fear it and live a paranoid life, constantly looking over your shoulder to see if anything is going to happen to you. The other option is to forget about it and live your life smiling." You remember telling me that? Sorry to do so, but I have to put it on you now. I had fears and you made them go away. But now it is you who has fears and I desperately want them to go away as well.

He looked me in the eyes and I could detect his will to make my fears go away. He was using my own words to do so. Wicked man!

• Listen Gerald. I won't make any promises if I am not sure I can keep them! I won't tell you that when I know I will be late, I'll call you because the circumstances do not always allow me to do so. When I am at work, I concentrate on my job and try to forget everything else. I can't even promise you to answer the phone every time you call. My job doesn't give me the freedom you have in yours. The only thing I can do is put you as first on the list of "Who to call in case of emergency". Hectic hours and unexpected events are part of my daily routine and you know it. Now look at things like this: if you worry about me, will it make a difference if I live here or not?

He had a point there. Now that I had put the word LOVE on what we had, I would worry wherever he lived. At least, when he would live with me, in the same house, I would know he was all right every time he came home. If he went on living at his own place, I would only know it when he would drop by. So there was an advantage to have him here after all.

• You know? Alex said. It won't take long before all of my colleagues will know about you. I won't hide our relationship neither to them nor to my superiors. Everybody at the police forces gives the name of who to call if something happens and I can assure you that tomorrow I'll see to it that you are first on that list. I'll even put a note upon the news board we have in our office with your name and your number if that can help you worrying less. You'll probably get tired soon enough to hear me talk about my work, but I'll do it so that you know what I am working on. I will do whatever is in my power to see to it that you have an as peaceful life as possible. If that is not enough for you, we have to call it an end right now, but it won't take the feelings away. If we call it an end, you'll worry even more because you won't have ANY news about me.

• No, Alex, we won't call it an end because, as you say, it won't take the feelings away and we will both feel miserable. What I wanted to do is sharing my feelings, my fears and my joys. You are about to bring in your stuff and settle in here and that is only possible if we tell each other how we are, how we feel and what makes our hearts beat. I guess we agree that secrets have no place between us even if it avoids worrying about each other. Shared fears are half fears, shared joys are double joys. That's what we have to keep in mind. We still have to learn a lot about each other, but I am sure and convinced we are made for one another.

He nodded and smiled. I loved his smile.

In the following days I started to make some space in the wardrobe for Alex's suits and other clothes. He had told me that he didn't have any furniture to bring over as he had a furnished rented apartment. He didn't have any cooking gear and that was good because I had not one space left in the kitchen. Apart form his clothes, there were only a few boxes with books and CD's. He mentioned that he still had some stuff at his parent's house, but that he would bring it over only if he needed it. As he wanted to have to move completed in a very short time (a few hours) some of his colleagues helped him and that's how I met them. Miles, Brad, Tim, Joe, Jeff and Simon were all friendly and helpful. Alex introduced me to them and told what every member of his team was doing or specialized in. I would soon forget it, as it was too much information just at once. As they had been so helpful, Alex had brought in enough beer and ordered pizzas. They seem to be a happy bunch and I could see they all respected Alex as their boss, but they also considered him as a friend.

Once the pizza was gone and most of the beer bottles empty, they left jokingly wishing us a nice "honeymoon night". Once the last was one was out of the door, the house was suddenly silent. Everything was in the house, but nothing was unpacked yet! I soon discovered that Alex was a maniac with his clothes. He had about ten suits and he hung them up in perfect order of color and darkness. He ironed all his shirts before hanging them in the wardrobe on hangers, again in perfect order of color and darkness, but as well according to stripes, squares or just plain. His drawer was a perfect organization of underwear and socks, once again according to their color and model: briefs with briefs, boxer briefs with boxer briefs. He admitted he was maniac and while he organized the wardrobe, he actually hung up my clothes in the same order as his.

The same happened with his books and his CD's. He said that if everything was well organized he could find any book or CD with his eyes closed. I smiled at that and he thought I didn't believe him. He asked to look in his collection of CD's, mention one and he would find it with his eyes closed. I tested him three times and every time we got out the CD I mentioned. I never doubted his capability again. I would have to learn to put everything back in its original place after cleaning! For the first time in my life there was an alarm clock in the bedroom. That was another thing I had to get used to, but he said that once I would have the habit of getting up at a certain hour, my body would know and I would wake up at that hour every day without a problem. Another thing that changed was that I didn't have to do the laundry again. He was so meticulous with clothes that he would never mix two kinds of fabrics or clothes that had to be washed at different temperatures. And as for the ironing, he was even more maniac, but then again he was always perfect before going out.

Living together implied a lot of small changes. Nothing was annoying, just minor changes in habits that one had to get used to. But there were big changes as well. The biggest one, as you can imagine, was of course the fact we went to bed together and got up together. It seemed stupid to think that sleeping together would make such a big difference, but when waking up during the night for whatever reason it was and feeling Alex spooned up against me, was always making me smile and feeling safe. Hearing his soft snoring confirmed he was there. Feeling his morning wood was making me horny.

To be continued if you guys tell me you like the story All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com