Tarot Cards and More

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I could always call Tiffany to have his number and to return the call, but I wouldn't. If he wanted to investigate me, I had no problem with that, but I was no detective and wasn't going to ask around to have information. If he was willing to provide it, it was ok. But if he wasn't, I was going to respect his privacy. But a funny idea crossed my mind. I called Tiffany after all to ask his number, as I wanted to send him a SMS. When Tiffany heard what had happened and what I wanted to do, even reluctantly, she gave me his number.

The SMS I sent was simple.

"I heard policemen like a cold beer from time to time. If you want one: drop by. I don't have to give you my address, do I?"

I wondered how long it would take him to accept the invitation.

The novel I was working on didn't go well. I had what is called the "writer's block". That means that my imagination was zero. My inspiration was totally frozen. The main characters were the same in the two previous novels, as I wanted to make it a trilogy. The first two books had come out very easily and quickly. The plots were good, the settings even better and the first five chapters of the third book had come out beautifully, but now I was stuck! My editor was very pleased with the sales of the first two and was urging me to finish the trilogy. I sat for hours in a row in front of the computer, starting sentences and deleting them almost instantly. In the last three weeks I hadn't written any valuable thing! I wanted to blame it on the weather, the news I saw on TV, the miserable faces I saw in the street and a thousand things more, but I knew I was not objective.

The main problem was that my mind was wandering everywhere except in my writing. Trevor and I went to get Tiffany out of her house and have a walk in town, just to change our minds. Shopping! Was that the answer to my problem? I didn't know but with Tiffany and Trevor it was always a fun trip. We would go from shop to shop, trying on hundreds of different outfits and come home having bought absolutely nothing at all, but having had a good time. Although we always went to the same mall, we always discovered new things. There were also a few pubs and small restaurants that we favored. In a nutshell, we enjoyed ourselves.

That day, while we were waiting for our food, we already had emptied a bottle of rose wine. We were all in a very good mood and laughing at whatever. The smallest things had us going and we were actually attracting quite some stares. We didn't care. We had a great time and were not about to let anyone spoil our joy and fun. Trevor had entered into "joke mode" and that meant he was telling jokes one after the other. We were laughing out loud all the time. I did the mistake to drink some wine just at the end of a joke and had to laugh that hard that I actually spit out half of the wine I had in my mouth. That made of course that the other two were laughing even harder. The white tablecloth was stained with wine, but the waiter said it didn't matter. It was a long time since he had laughed that hard himself during his work, as he had been listening to Trevor most of the time. We were actually well known in that restaurant as it was our absolute favorite and we went there each time we were at the mall. We were so used to go there that we didn't need the menu, as we knew it by heart. Not only that, but we always asked for the same. I had a Tartar steak with French fries, Trevor the Spaghetti Bolognaise they were known for and Tiffany a Greek salad with feta cheese. When the waiter saw us coming in, he didn't even have to come over and take our orders. As soon as we were seated he arrived with a chilled bottle of rose wine and just asked "The usual?" and we nodded.

What made this visit different was the fact that at one point we saw like a dozen of policemen running by. It was obvious they were in a hurry to reach their destination. We looked a little puzzled about the event but didn't give it more importance than needed. They were running by! They were not stopping at the place we were sitting. About a quarter of an hour later we saw two paramedics passing by with a stretcher, but we hadn't heard any siren. It didn't take them long before they passed in front of the restaurant we were at. The body on the stretcher was completely covered (face included) by a white sheet. We knew that the person on the stretcher was not going to stand up anymore.

Just as we received our coffees, a familiar face entered the restaurant: Officer Alex Buster. He actually rushed in and asked for a strong coffee. He hadn't seen us, but as we didn't want anybody or anything spoil our fun, we were still quite noisily laughing. That made Alex turn around to see where the laughs were coming from. He first recognized Tiffany and immediately came over to greet her. Being the polite guy he was, he then greeted Trevor and when he turned towards me, he realized that it was I being part of the company. He stretched his hand out and we had a repeat session of the first and only meeting we ever had: the electric spark jumped between our hands. Two times. It was once again at the third time that we could actually shake hands. It didn't go unnoticed to Tiffany and Trevor. Our eyes locked again and we were holding hands a little longer than expected, but nobody said a thing about it. We invited him to sit down with us, but he politely declined saying he had quite some things to do. They had found a woman, dead in one of the fitting rooms of a cloth shop. There was no bag whatsoever, not even a purse and they had no way to identify her at all. I had suddenly a flash, but only Tiffany noticed. I looked up at Alex.

• That woman knew the man you consulted us about a few weeks ago, I said.

• What makes you say that? Alex asked.

• No idea, I honestly said, just an intuition.

Alex looked at Tiffany and she very seriously nodded to him. He looked a bit confused and seemed suddenly uncomfortable. He bid his goodbyes and left the restaurant. Although we had said nothing or nobody would disturb our good mood and fun, the atmosphere was totally different. The laughs were gone. The mood WAS spoiled. I had uttered out loud an intuition without being asked to. It came out so spontaneously that it almost sounded suspicious.

• What did you mean with "intuition"? Trevor asked.

• That is what it was, I answered, an intuition.

• Come on Gerald, what you said was a serious statement. You haven't seen the woman: a white sheet covered her. We couldn't even see if it was a man or a woman!

• Yes he can, Tiffany interrupted him. Gerald is even more gifted than me.

That made Trevor shut up. He knew his aunt and was fully aware of her skills. He knew that if she said I was even more gifted than she was, he could take it for granted. He looked sheepishly down, moving his spoon in his coffee like someone who had been reprimanded, although it was not the case. She had just made a statement.

Apart from my intuition, my mind worked so fast, but in a total different area. The mere fact of seeing Alex had my insides turn into a knot. He was so handsome, but it was once again his stare that I felt drilling a hole straight towards my soul. It was the electric sparks that jumped over from one hand to another that made me think. The strange thing about my intuitions was that they worked for others but never for myself. Was that a kind of protection from the Universe itself? I didn't know. Tiffany had told me to not try to read the cards for myself, but she never said anything about the intuitions. I would have to have a talk with her about it, but not right now. It was neither the time nor the place to start on that subject.

We paid the bill and got out. As I said, the mood was gone. The laughter didn't come our way any more. Was it my fault? Had I broken the mood by Alex's short appearance? Or was it the general situation with the news a woman had been found dead in a fitting room? I didn't know. I was just so deep in my thoughts after seeing Alex. We walked out of the mall and on our way, the first place we reached was Trevor's. We bid him goodbye and walked on. We just had to cross the park to reach Tiffany's house. Our pace slowed down walking among the millenary old trees. It was so peaceful. Tiffany and I walked around the lake in the center of the park. I found it so relaxing to see the swans and ducks swimming over the flat surface of the water. Town Hall did such a marvelous job to keep the park tidy and well maintained. The flowerbeds were colorful and made you forget you were in a crowded city. The paths were nice and clean. Tiffany and I were slowly walking and enjoying the scenery and our surroundings.

We sat down on a bench and looked at the fountain in the middle of the lake. The water came out from the surface in white geysers.

• You seem to be deep in thoughts, Tiffany said.

• Yes, indeed I am. That intuition I had back at the restaurant came out of my mouth so quickly that even I was surprised. I don't know why I said it out loud. But that is not the main thought I have right now. I am a bit puzzled about our meeting with Alex. Did you see and even hear the electric sparks again?

• Yes I did, she said. What does it tell you?

• That's the problem Tiffany. I don't have the slightest clue. My intuitions are sometimes so strong, but every time it is for others. When it comes to have intuitions for myself, there is a blank. Nothing comes to me. Sometimes it is just as id I don't see obvious things. I could look in a mirror and not even see my own nose in the middle of my face. I can see, and sometimes feel, things for others, but never for myself. Do you experience the same?

• Yes I do, she said, it is, I guess, a kind of protection from the Universe. It seems the Universe granted us with a gift so that we can let others getting the benefits of it, but... at the same time we are not allowed to use it for our own. Of course, it has a meaning. That is to avoid turning totally selfish and use our intuitions just for ourselves. The other explanation would be that if we felt strong intuitions for ourselves, we would almost know things before they happen. I don't know if it would be bearable to live with that.

I understood what she meant and it made sense. She looked over the lake and suddenly seemed as deep in thoughts as I was a moment before. She had that special look on her face I had seen several times in the past. I knew she was calling up the Universe to tell her something. When we were just the two of us, we never needed the cards. We trusted our minds and our visions, our intuitions and flashes. We each had our own way to call the Universe. Tiffany looked at the horizon, shutting out everything that was around her. For my part, I clapped my hands together, rubbing them as hard as I could till I felt the heat in them. If there was no heat almost instantly, I knew I had not to insist as nothing would reach me, but when I rubbed and felt the warmth building up, I received messages, images, flashes on which I had to concentrate and then read carefully.

Tiffany suddenly broke the peaceful silence we had fallen into.

• I made a mistake about five years ago, she said. I told you that the day you would meet your soul mate, you would know it at once. I see it is not the case. Open your eyes Gerald. The day has come!

• What do you mean?

• Open your eyes my friend and more... open your heart. Look inside of you. Listen to your heart. Be open and let the Universe immerse you in something that will bring you a lot of things: peace and happiness, but also worries, healthy worries I would say. The day has come to collect what you deserve.

• Please Tiffany, can you stop speaking in riddles?

• Don't you understand what I am talking about?

I shook my head in the negative.

• It seems obvious to me! Alex is your soul mate!

The incredulous look on my face made her smile and even laugh. She pretended that it was obvious. I didn't see it like that. I felt a tingling in my earlobes and warmth on my face. Was I blushing? I had no reason to. Alex? My soul mate? Ok, I found him attractive. Yes, he had a penetrating look in his eyes. Yes, he seemed to be a well-educated man. But was that enough to say he was my soul mate? I had seen him exactly two times in my life. He had called me once and I had sent him one SMS. I asked Tiffany why she thought he was my soul mate, and her answer was actually obvious: "Intuition".

She actually faced me with a dilemma, because I believed firmly in her intuitions. She scratched her neck as if she knew instinctively that she had put me in an awkward situation. Having received that information, what was I going to do? Was I going to act on it? Was I going to pursue the man she pretended was my soul mate? Or did I have to ignore the information and wait till Destiny would arrange a new meeting? Just the fact Tiffany had used the word "Soul Mate" had a special signification. She didn't say "boyfriend" or even "lover", she said "soul mate" and that was of course a lot stronger and precise. She was always taking care in her choice of words. She had a real panic that people would misinterpret the words she used. It was not that she was reading the cards for a whole bunch of people, but she knew that people were inclined to believe what they wanted to hear. The use of a wrong word could make an abysmal difference to someone who desperately wanted to hear something they wanted. That was one of the reasons I gave her word a special attention. I didn't know what to do. As a matter of fact, I had invited him once to come and have a beer, but he never acted on that message.

• Let Destiny follow its course, Tiffany said. He'll come to you when the time is right. The only difference is that YOU know he is your soul mate. He doesn't yet, but if you recall well, he called you already once. You told me he was on the verge of telling you something but, at the end, didn't. You know he bothered enough to find information about you and search for your complete name, address and phone number. That, in my opinion, gives you a clue that he could be interested in you.

She was right. He had shown interest and used the general police computer to know more about me. I didn't know if that was precisely a legal thing to do. Had he taken any risks to find him? If it was so, his interest was more than just a human and casual curiosity.

I walked Tiffany to her house. My intention was to leave her at her door, but she insisted that I would come in. I sat at her mahogany table and she went straight to the drawer where she kept her cards. She shuffled them and spread them out with her typical swift move and asked me to chose just one. When she turned it face-up, we both had a smile.

"The Lovers"

Now you have to know that that Arcane, or card, has a double meaning. First, of course, it talks about lovers as its name obviously indicates, but it also means "Doubts". Those doubts are most of the time concerning the lover that is mentioned. The doubt can be when you have two persons among which you have to choose. If you analyze a situation that has nothing to do with feelings or emotions, the doubt has to be related to the surrounding cards.

In my case, it was clear my sub-conscious had chosen that card, announcing indeed the arrival of a love relationship, but the second meaning being the doubts, had also its importance, as I doubted about what to do with the received information. Tiffany had just wanted to confirm what she thought and the sole card was doing just that. We both knew there was no use in asking more. The cards had been more than clear.

We talked more about it while Tiffany collected the cards and put them away. My biggest question was of course to know what to do, how to act. Tiffany could only repeat what she had told me while sitting on that bench in the park.

• Listen to your heart Gerald! When listening to it, you won't make any mistake. You have one advantage on him: you know he is the one, he doesn't know it... yet!

That was indeed an important point. With her intuition and the confirmation by the cards, I knew I would rather receive a kiss than a punch in my face. As Alex was really well built and showed strong muscle, it was a relief. I was concerned nonetheless about what he had mentioned the first time I saw him. He had odd hours and was not an office employee with a nine-to-five job. He was pursuing criminals and wore a gun at all times. Would I be able to live with the constant fear something could happen to him? Would I be able to wait for him without knowing when I would see him again? My God! I was already preoccupied and nothing had happened yet between us.

When I got home I switched on the television. It was something I was used to as to have the sensation there was some life in my empty house. I was just about to try to write some more, but my writer's block was still there. As it was beginning to be a habit, I wrote a few sentences to delete them almost instantly. The local news on television was on. They were once again babbling about the local politics and the non- sense of disagreements in Town Hall. The news of a dead woman in the mall got my full attention on the spot. They had recorded the comments of Officer Alex Buster about the case, but he couldn't say a lot. He just mentioned that thanks to an outside source of information that he couldn't name, they had been able to identify the victim, but that was all. Alex looked straight to the camera and I had the feeling that his stare was destined to me. I caught myself thinking "My Man" with an accent on "MY". That was strange for me. I am nothing of a possessive person and certainly not when it concerns people. If or when two people met, they didn't become the property of the other, but with Alex it had another meaning I guessed. I used the word "MY" but not really as a possessive adjective, but rather as if it was part of my life.

I caught myself daydreaming about Alex, knowing that in a near future he would become part of my daily life. I had no doubts about Tiffany's intuition. I just had doubts about how I was going to cope with it. But meanwhile I had a good time even if it was only in my imagination. Which movie was it again? The one where the main character was shouting, "Honey! I'm home" as soon as he opened the door? I could easily hear his deep voice saying that while I was at my desk writing furiously the next chapter of my newest novel. When I was in the shower I could picture Alex joining me under the warm water and soaping me up. When I was ready to sleep I almost felt his warm body spooning up with me, ready to drift into dreamland. But just yet, it was my imagination only.

Some people say that the mind is the only thing we control a hundred percent. We are master only of our thoughts, and those are the cause of what happens to our body. One living proof of that was that when I thought about Alex, it was not strange to have my body react, especially in my nether regions. I just hoped it wouldn't take too long before I could undress him like unwrapping a Christmas present, discovering bit-by-bit what I received. I was indeed convinced that when Alex would enter my life, it would be the perfect present. Oh, don't misunderstand me. I knew it wouldn't be all roses and bright moonshine. We were both thirty-six now and we both had lived our lives. There certainly would be moments we would have disagreements on things. It was not necessary to have the same opinion on everything, as long as we agreed on the basic values: Honesty, Respect and Trust.

I didn't have the means to check him out like he did. I wondered where he lived, what kind of living arrangements he had. Was he living in a house, or a condo or just a furnished room? Were material things important to him? What did he do when he didn't have to work? The only thing I knew for sure was that he took care of his appearance. The two times I saw him, he was wearing nice tailored suits and a spotless shirt. His hands looked manicured and although he showed unmanageable hair, it was maybe the work of a specialized hairdresser. As I worked from home I didn't need to put on a suit. Most of the time when I went out I wore almost a uniform: 501's, white T-shirt and sneakers. If it was cold, I just had a leather jacket that protected me. The only exceptions to that were when I went for my morning run or a formal dinner with my editor.

Another week went by without the slightest news from Alex. I guessed he was quite busy with work and everything that went on in town. I didn't think I was living in a town with a lot of criminality, but I was probably wrong. Some times it was better not to think too much about it. I had never been robbed or attacked. I had never had my car scratched by some thug. I had never been witness of a crime of any kind. I just crossed my fingers it would go on like that for a very long time. But I guessed it was totally different for Alex. After all, he was the first one they called when something happened. How did he manage to not letting himself involved too much? I supposed he had a strong character and even stronger personality to face these things. Did I start to idealize him? Maybe I did.

On the Friday night, I received a SMS.

"Is that beer still cold :)?"

I answered immediately with "SURE !!!"

There was no further exchange of messages. Was he going to come right away? Or was it a question of an hour? Nonetheless, I hurried to the bathroom to have a quick shower and pull on my 501's, T-shirt and sneakers. You have to know that when I am home alone I don't bother to dress. It is not unusual that I stay naked the whole day or sometimes just in my briefs. Knowing I was going to have a visitor I wanted to be presentable! I checked the beer in my fridge and it was cold indeed. I checked in the cupboards and found some chips and some olives. That would have to do with the beer. I didn't know when he would arrive and tried to go back to work, but to no avail. I was far too nervous.

I have an antique wall clock in the hallway. It is really old but in perfect working condition. I am so used to its never ending Tic-Tac that I don't even hear it anymore, but waiting for Alex, I heard it so distinctively! Every Tic and every Tac sounded loudly in my ears and God knows I heard all of them. An hour went by but nobody rang the bell. When another hour had passed I started to wonder what had happened. Another case? An unforeseen meeting? A broken car? I had no idea, but realized I had to get used to that. His professional life was full of unexpected events. I knew that if I wanted a life with him, it wouldn't be easy as long as he was a police officer with all the inconveniences it withheld.

Around midnight I knew he was not coming. I had passed the evening walking from the front door to the back door that gave access to the backyard. I had tried to watch some television, but couldn't concentrate on anything. I even tried to work a little but that was a total waste of time. At one I decided to go to bed. Just as I was about to switch off the light my cell phone beeped. A SMS!

"Sorry"

Nothing else! At least he had acknowledged that he was still alive! I felt better and fell asleep almost immediately.

I am not really an early-riser. I never use an alarm clock. I get up when I open my eyes, whatever hour it is. But this morning it was different: someone was insistently ringing my front doorbell. I was cursing the entire world! I was swearing like a pagan, pulling on my 501's and the T-shirt I had on the night before. I was about to bark my thoughts to whoever was at my door, but when opening the door I saw it was Alex.

• Good morning! I felt guilty for not being able to come over yesterday, so I brought you coffee. It's not the best one, but my intentions are good!

He had a goofy smile on his face that I had never seen, but it was funny. Seeing the plastic cup, I knew that the coffee was probably from a vending machine and everybody knows the quality of such beverage. I offered him to make some REAL coffee and his eyes became as big as saucers. If I read his eyes correctly, he was not used to have homemade coffee a lot. While I prepared a fresh pot of coffee I felt his eyes in my back. He was observing me and every movement I made. I could feel it. He came closer, resting one hand on the countertop and his back against the fridge. I didn't know what to say and he was apparently in the same state. The silence was not uncomfortable but awkward nonetheless.

• Cream and sugar? I asked.

• If available, yes! Thank you!

I filled the two mugs and handed him his.

• Sorry, I said, but I am not really a human being before I have a first mug of coffee.

And I fell back in my silence. It was not that I wanted to be silent, but I didn't know where to start. There were of course a thousand questions that ran through my mind, as I wanted to know everything about that gorgeous man. He hadn't shaved. The stubble on his square jaw was suiting him well. He was wearing a dark grey suit that was the same cut as the dark blue one I had seen him with. I made a comment about it.

Well, he said, I have several. I was on a holiday in Sri Lanka a few years ago. In Colombo you can enter a shop, having your measurements taken, chose a material and in less than twenty-four hours, you have your suit. As I was there for two weeks, I ordered several ones in different materials and colors. With my job I am expected to wear a suit and a tie, but the tie is too much for me, but the jacket is an absolute must.

• If the jacket is bothering you, you can take it off if you want, I said.

Alex didn't hesitate a moment in doing so. He even rolled up his sleeves. Would he have done that if he was in a hurry? I didn't think so. We sat down at the kitchen island and he told me a bit more about his travel to Sri Lanka and other places he had been to. His initial nervousness faded away. Was it because he was talking about not really important things? May be! His voice was so pleasant to listen to that I let him talk, all the while checking him out as I didn't get tired of looking at him. I thought that my checking him out was discreet, but apparently it wasn't, as he suddenly asked.

• You like what you see? Or is it a natural curiosity to check out people?

I was woken from my reverie and my brain was working at an incredible speed to come up with something sensible to say. Would I find any neutral excuse or would I just say the simple truth?

• Yes, I actually do like what I see, I blatantly said. I have to admit that I find you quite attractive.

• Are you always that forward?

• No, I am not, but when people ask me something very forward and straight to the point, I always answer in the same way. And, as a matter of fact, I also almost always return the question.

• Wow! Alex said. I didn't expect a sudden and fast return of the question. I wish I could be wearing jeans and T-shirt all the time like you do.

• I didn't ask you if you like my outfit, I replied. I asked you if you like what you see.

The straight question seemed to embarrass him somehow. He was probably used to lead interrogations and felt uncomfortable being at the other side of the barrier. I saw on his face that he was asking him the same question I had asked myself: finding an excuse or telling the truth.

• I actually like what I see very much! You as well are an attractive guy.

He looked sideways, asking himself where on earth he had found the guts to say that so directly. I noticed that when Alex talked about himself or what he felt, he didn't feel at ease. It was obvious I was pushing him out of his comfort-zone, but I had to if we wanted to reach something. I wanted to find a way to open up without being a nervous wreck and I had to find it fast.

• Listen Alex, I think we both admitted something important: we find each other attractive which means we are both preferring the male gender to the female one. Right?

He nodded. With his nodding he actually gave me the answer to how to get closer to him: I had to talk and when asking something, I had to put the question in such a way that he could answer with a yes or a no. He would only have to nod or shake his head.

• Now that we know that, I said, I want you to know that, even if I find you very attractive, I am not the man that jumps into bed with the first man I see. Do you understand what I mean?

He nodded again.

• When I find someone attractive, I try to have a conversation with that person, learning to know him, see if there are common interests and in general find out if there is a possible compatibility. Do I make myself clear?

Again just a nod, telling me he understood. At the same time he seemed to relax.

• It is the first personal conversation we have and we immediately jumped to an intimate subject, talking about how we feel and what we want. I know that I want to talk with you and learning to know you. I have the feeling we will reach a positive point. We are no teenagers. We are adults and we know what life is all about. The attraction up till now is physical and I admit I would like to find a mental, spiritual and emotional attraction as well.

Again, Alex just nodded. I didn't know if he was ok with how the conversation was going. He gave me the sensation he didn't feel well by not being in control. In his daily life he was in control all the time and I just took that out of his hands. Once again I had to give him that control back and find a way to make him feel he never lost it.

• I like it that you are sure of yourself and take initiatives. The fact you decided to just drop by without warning and even had some coffee with you, was endearing. I didn't only like it, I loved it!

He smiled. I suddenly realized it was the first time he sincerely smiled. It was not a smile of politeness, no, it was a sincere smile that formed on his lips, illuminating his face and shinning like a bright light in his eyes. I fell in love with his smile. Just right there and then I knew Tiffany had seen it all right! Yes, definitely, I was falling for this guy big time, and it was all because of that one smile.

To be continued if you guys tell me you like the story so far All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com