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Alex was silent. I could clearly see his brain was working overtime and at the speed of light. He was weighting the pros and cons. We didn't have any doubt about the love we had. My intuition was that he wouldn't mind giving it a go, but, as he said, he didn't want to put our relationship at danger. I didn't think our relationship was at danger. It was not like going each our separate way! We played together in this scene and I just wanted us to agree upon what to do. We hadn't done anything to induce this situation. We had just been friendly and grateful for what he had done for us.

We had no time to think it over a lot more, as the front doorbell rang!

Francisco came in, completely dressed in white: white jeans, white button-down shirt and white sneakers. With his tanned skin he looked just smashing. He had brought a bottle of white wine and I could feel it was chilled. I immediately put it in a bucket of ice and brought it out to the terrace where Alex and Francisco were seated. The sun was setting down and I went to lit the torches we had installed in the garden, giving the whole place a magic glow. The lights in the swimming pool switched on automatically. It was still quite warm and we were all three sweating. It didn't take us much time to take our clothes off and jump in the water. Francisco had gotten used to the fact we were always swimming in the nude and was not shy to join us naked as well. We had never paid too much attention to his body as he was just a friend, but with the conversation Alex and I had just before his arrival, I looked at him with different eyes.

Francisco had the same height as we and there wasn't an ounce of fat to be seen. His chest, stomach, arms and legs were covered with dark hair. It was obvious that he trimmed his pubes neatly just as we did. His shaft and balls were hairless. His whole body was muscular due to a regular work out but not as bulging as a body-builder. He had two-day stubble on his square chin and his over-all look was really masculine. The first few minutes in the water were clearly to freshen up, doing laps from one end to the other. We matched in swim-style and speed. After about ten laps we rested for a moment and started to play in the water. It was all joyful and we laughed like kids being in a pool for the first time. I jumped out of the pool and went to open the bottle of wine. Alex soon joined me, but Francisco swam a few more laps. When he came out of the water I understood why he had swam those extra laps. His cock was not as flaccid as when he jumped in. He was not hard, but I knew it had deflated thanks to the extra laps in the cool water. We didn't dry off. We let the cooling evening breeze do that for us.

We had a toast to the success of the joined efforts of Alex and Francisco. I brought out the dressed plates with our evening meal. I had put quite some time in a nice presentation of the food and it was all gone in less than five minutes! Dessert was just plain vanilla ice cream with hot chocolate sauce. That disappeared at the same speed. Once coffee and liquors were on the table, I couldn't help myself to ask Francisco why on earth he was alone in life.

• I guess I haven't found anybody who lives up to my expectations, he said. It is not that I am that difficult, but my absolute priority is honesty. I can't live with lies. I have lived it more than once that people lied to me and I just hate it. I happened to meet people who lied about small things that didn't really have any importance, but I thought that if they could lie about small things, they wouldn't have problems lying about big things. The second part of me being alone is also because of my job. I am a security manager and have quite some people working with and for me. I don't want them to have the possibility of talking behind my back. All in all, I guess I haven't found my Mr. Right.

• That's fair enough, I said, but is there any deeper reason for being alone?

• I guess that a possibility of failure in a relationship keeps me from starting anything, he answered.

That made me think about Alex and me when we started our relationship. Alex was scared to death and I had put on the song "The Rose" of Bette Midler. I looked at Alex and he seemed to recognize this situation as well. This time however, it was Alex who went into the house and searched for the CD and put it on. At the first notes of the song, Francisco smiled.

• I know this song all to well, he said. I have listened to it a thousand times and I understand every word of it. Those lyrics are so full of sense, but... it seems my fear is anchored in my mind and in my heart. Apart from my fear, there is something else that happens constantly in my life: getting a crush on people who are not available. It can be that they are just straight and if not, that they are committed. I have an enormous respect for people in a relationship and would never interfere, as I wouldn't like someone to interfere in my relationship.

• But you are still young and I am sure you crave human contact, Alex said.

• Yes I do. Finding someone to have sex with is not difficult, neither here or in any part of the world. But that is not what I am looking for. Ok, I had anonymous sex when the urge to feel someone got to strong. What I really crave is to make love. Believe it or not, I made love only once in my life! I was madly in love and I thought my partner was as well, but after a few weeks I discovered he was seeing quite some other guys on the side. I was devastated but left him nonetheless. He made me feel like the only one and the most special person on this earth, but I couldn't live with him cheating on me constantly.

• I can understand what you are saying, Alex said, but what I don't understand is that you haven't found the right guy. You are really attractive and you have so much positive sides for you. You are full of qualities and I would think guys would be waiting in line to be with you!

Francisco was blushing. He was really cute when blushing. Alex went on.

• I wouldn't mind having you in my life! And neither would Gerald.

Alex had made up his mind! He knew I would agree with whatever decision he made and he was right! The ball was in Francisco's court. We had made it clear what we thought and felt. Francisco was flabbergasted! His eyes got as big as saucers, looking in total disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Someone had to come to his help.

• Listen Francisco, Alex said, Gerald and I have never indulged a third person in our relationship. Before I go on, on the subject, you have to know Gerald is gifted with strong and accurate intuitions. He is the one to tell me to investigate Mrs. Hernandez quite closely. He is also the one who told me that you feel really well in our company and that your feelings are probably a little stronger than just friendship...

Alex was going too strong. I saw an almost look of panic on Francisco's face. He was probably thinking I was a kind of wizard or warlock! Alex wasn't really subtle with his explanations!

• Francisco, please, don't panic, I said. Alex is putting it very roughly. What he means is that I feel things in a way other people don't. I can't predict the future or anything like that. It is all just a question of sensations. What I felt about you first of all is the fact that you seem lonely, and we don't understand why. You are attractive, intelligent, kind and pleasant. You have a great sense of humor and you are a fun guy to have around. If we had been in the town where we used to live before we moved over here, I would probably have a bunch of guys to introduce you to. Here, you are up till now the only friend we have and what Alex tried to explain is that we like you. We like you very much and we would consider it an honor to have you even closer into our lives. Our relationship is strong and we don't have a NEED to have someone else, but you are special my friend. We both would find it nice if you dropped by even more than you do now. You don't need any formal invitation to come to see us.

Francisco looked relaxer now. Alex had given him the sensation that he wanted to jump his bones right there and then. I had tried, and I guessed I had succeeded, to calm him down a bit and make it clear it was the person and the personality of Francisco that we appreciated first of all. Francisco kept silent. It was obvious that he had quite some information to assimilate. He seemed a bit uncomfortable, covering his naked genitals with his hands and his towel. Was it too much for him? Maybe it was! I served him another Costa Rican brandy and he gulped it down completely.

• You guys mind if I let all this information settle down in my head for a few minutes? Francisco asked.

• Of course you can! I said.

With that he stood up and jumped in the cool refreshing water of the pool. He swam several laps at the speed of light, clearly wanting to work it off physically. It downed on me that he was not used to receive compliments. He had not the slightest idea of how attractive he was, I would even say hot. He was a very nice specimen of man and I was only telling him the truth with the "intelligent, kind and pleasant" comment. He sincerely deserved to be happy and appreciated for who he was and that was exactly what we wanted to give him. Ok, it was not pure altruism! We got something out of it as well such as nice company and probably a kind of sexual satisfaction. Who knew?

He came out of the water and took his towel to dry off. The sight was just so erotic: the light of the torches flickering through the droplets on his dark golden skin and black hairs on his chest, belly and legs. The white towel was making an even stronger contrast in the dim light. Michael Angelo's David was not even close to Francisco's beauty and perfect body. I was still very much un love with Alex and wondered at the same time if it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time. It had never occurred to me before! The question was there, but without an answer at that time. They were similar, yes, but unique each in their own way. I loved Alex's masculine and almost brutal way of thinking and acting. Francisco seemed more refined and soft, but masculine nonetheless. Alex was very attentive, as long as you reminded him to be. Francisco seemed to be attentive in a natural way. Alex could be assertive or submissive in bed. Francisco I didn't know. Nonetheless, I felt attracted to both of them, maybe not in the same way but certainly in a compatible and even complementary way.

I felt a bit strange and even weird about the situation, although Alex and I had talked about it and agreed to go with the flow. WE had talked about it, but we hadn't included Francisco in the conversation. Ok, we had made our point to him, but we hadn't expressed clearly that the emotional side was implicated. We hadn't said openly that we would accept and welcome his love and giving ours. I thought it was important.

• Francisco, I said, I want you to know we are fond of you. When we say we want you more in our lives, it means that we really would like the feelings to be reciprocal. I guess you are a bit scared, according with what you said earlier about the respect you show for couples or people in relationships. We hope you understand that we are inviting you in. It is not that you intrude in what we have or what we feel for each other. We are sure you could and would be a happy part of this family.

With those words he got emotional and his eyes got even moist. His lower lip trembled slightly. With time we would learn that the trembling of his lower lip was a sign of a happiness that even he didn't believe could be true. I started to be concerned with his silence but knew it was not a bad sign with him. His silence was his way to tell us he assimilated the information and that he took his time to believe the luck that was falling on to him. I wondered if he had been hurt in the past. Hurt in such a way that he lost total confidence in the human kind. Hurt in a way that he didn't allow himself to receive positive things. I asked him. When the question was out in the open, he turned to Alex.

• Is Gerald always so accurate?

Alex laughed.

• Yes indeed, he is, he answered. As I told you, Gerald is gifted and listens to his heart and his intuitions. He doesn't doubt his feelings as in the past they proved to be correct. Since I know him, he has never made a mistake. I have learned to accept this and even listen to it. Oh, don't misunderstand me! He doesn't have intuitions all the time and he can go for weeks and even months without the slightest vision, but when he has, it is right to the point.

• OK, Francisco said. I will answer your question. I told you I had been in love once and was that the guy was seeing more people on the side than a hooker on the street. What I didn't tell you, yet, is that he tried to force me to have sex with some of his friends. I refused, but it didn't stop there. It frequently happened that some of his friends came over to his house while I was there. The real reason I left him was not only the cheating. The main reason was that one night I was gang banged against my will. It all started quite innocently with his best friend openly caressing my back and my thighs. My ex didn't say anything and even encouraged his friend to feel more of me. I tried to free myself from the situation, but was brutally pulled back and forced to sit down. The action was coming from my ex and I don't even want to pronounce his name. He held me down, pulling my wrist behind my back and the slightest movement hurt a lot. While I was literally pinned down, his friend started to unzip my trousers and pulling them down. His other friends were cheering him up to go on. Before I even knew I was naked on the sofa and touched all over by several hands. I was forced to suck cocks, whoever they belonged to and to make a long story short, I was raped over and over again. I can talk about it now, but have been silently suffering for years. After that day, I stopped seeing him completely and built a wall around me, not letting anybody in. People even started to call me asocial.

Francisco seemed to still have a hard time even after all those years and it was understandable. It made me think that he deserved even more to be loved and feel happy. I hoped he would allow us to give him just that.

• What happened then is past time and, unfortunately, I can't change it. It is burnt in my memory and even though I try very hard to forget it, it is impossible. What I CAN do is put the past aside and try to live the present, but what you are saying and implying is far too nice to be true. Yes, indeed, I fell for you and I feel really comfortable around you. But as I said, you are in a committed relationship and I can't think of coming in between the two of you.

• That's where you misinterpret our words Francisco, I said. You are not coming "in between" us, you are coming "with us" and as soon as you'll understand that, you'll realize it can be a very enriching experience to start with. With time it will go further. We will be able to share everything we have. The only difference is that we will be three instead of being just two.

Francisco was struggling with the idea. We would give him time to get used to the idea. He had admitted he fell for us. We would just had to wait till he felt for us. After the conversation, where we had half expected to be three in our bed, Francisco dressed. He was going home he said, to put everything quietly in its place in his head and in his heart. The only difference with all the other times was that instead of just shaking hands, he gave us each a quick kiss on the lips before getting in his car and driving off.

Alex was perplexed and didn't know what to think. For me it was clear. Francisco didn't have a crush on us but on ONE of us. He was going home not only to sort out all we said but also to see if he could live with two guys of which one he was falling in love with (or already was). For the very first time in our relationship, I didn't mention my thoughts to Alex. I didn't know why. It was not that I wanted to keep it secret. It was not that I wanted to exclude Alex from a new intuition. Maybe I just doubted my intuition for once. I would have to call Tiffany and see what her reaction was.

After Francisco's departure, we went to bed and none of us was in the mood for lovemaking. Alex just rested his head on my chest and was lightly snoring before I even realized it. I couldn't fall asleep. The conversation we had with Francisco was playing over and over in my head. My intuition about him being in love with one of us was troubling me, because I felt I could easily fall for him. Nonetheless I was convinced, but not a hundred percent, that he was in love with Alex. The conversation we had before his arrival played in my head as well. He had said he didn't want to put our relationship in danger, but nonetheless he had been the first to accept Francisco in it and almost suggested a threesome on the floor of the terrace. There were too many questions, which stayed unanswered. What was going on between the two of them? Was Alex falling for the guy and had accepted my statement so easily? Was I falling for the guy? Was Alex and my relationship in danger? Was the danger coming from outside our relationship or from within? Did I start to doubt about what we had? As I said, too many questions!

With time, Francisco dropped by more and more. Nothing sexual happened. We were just getting to learn each other better and better. The subject of a threesome or getting Francisco into our relationship never came up again. The only thing I noticed was that Francisco came by more than once, knowing Alex was not at home. It was different when it was just the two of us. In a certain way he seemed more nervous, but on the other hand more relaxed. A real paradox, isn't it? How do I explain? Francisco seemed more nervous because I had the feeling he wanted to say something but never managed to do so. Every single sentence was inducing another but the other one never came. It was not only with words. Even his manly hug when he entered the house was different, like he wanted to be close but not daring to. More relaxed because he seemed to be himself easier. I saw it like he was letting his guard down when Alex was not around. A little example of that was that he would never serve himself a drink when Alex was home, but when it was just the two of us, he went to the fridge and took whatever he fancied. He seemed more at home when Alex was not there, as simple as that.

On our weekly call, Tiffany was always enthusiastic. It was about six months since we moved and she told me she missed our talks and meets. She was planning to fly over as soon as possible. I was looking forward to it as well. Even though I had always been home alone, even before we moved, for the first time in my life I felt lonely. Alex was still thoughtful and with a lot of attention towards me, but nonetheless... Francisco's visits were always welcome and my Spanish got better with the day. Most of the people I met were neighbors or shopkeepers! I longed for a more intensive social life. When Alex got home after work, he was tired most of the time and didn't want to go out. He even suggested I should go out with Francisco and discover town a bit more, but when I suggested throwing a party for the neighbors so that we could get better acquainted, Alex brushed it off saying he was too tired. He had never been like that before! He had always been quite active and full of energy. I wondered if his job was not asking too much of him, but he pretended he was all right.

Finally, the date of Tiffany's arrival was there. Of course, I went to pick her up at the airport and being reunited was pure joy. She marveled at all the things I showed her around San Jose. When I suggested going to the natural park, Alex said he preferred to stay home. Tiffany and I went alone. Before we reached the park, Tiffany asked if I knew a quiet place where we could sit down and talk. It was not uncommon for her to ask for such a thing, but I had the feeling she had something important to say. We found a nice little bar on the road, with a beautiful terrace in the backyard. We sat down and had a coffee.

• How are things going Gerald? Tiffany asked without a detour.

I told her the basics, including the episode with Francisco and the offer we had made him, but that he had politely declined. The friendship we had was great and I considered him a close friend. She got very serious.

• Hold on to that Francisco guy Gerald, she said, you will need a good friend.

• Why do you say that? I asked her.

She was suddenly quite nervous and looking for her words, something strange with her.

• I don't know how to tell you this, but there is only one way: straightforward. I had a very, very bad intuition or vision if you prefer. I laid the cards out and they confirmed it to me. I saw Alex on a hospital bed.

• What?

• Yes, indeed Gerald. It is not that he has been shot or anything violent as that. My guess is that Alex is ill, but he doesn't know it or doesn't want to see it. You told me you both had a checkup before you moved, but I really should advise you to take him to the doctor, although ... and sorry to say so ... it could already be too late.

She looked me straight in the eyes when saying that. I knew Tiffany and I knew she was probably right. She had never made a mistake in the past and I had, unfortunately, no reasons to think she was wrong now.

• Gerald, that is why I wanted to come over as soon as possible. I had to tell you, but you surely understand I couldn't tell you over the phone. Believe me, it is the most hard and difficult message I had ever to deliver to anyone! Take him to the doctor and if necessary, come back and see the doctor you went to before you left.

My mind was running faster than the speed of light. I realized indeed that in the last weeks and almost months Alex was often complaining of being tired. I hadn't seen a change in him apart from that. It was as if Tiffany read my thoughts.

• You haven't seen any change in him, because you are next to him every day. I can tell you that he doesn't look that well since you left. He lost weight and more important, he lost that sparkle in his eyes. He probably found one hundred excuses to explain his tiredness, but he knows there is something wrong. He won't admit it, but I can tell you: you have to prepare yourself for some very hard times. I accepted the trip to that national park, knowing he wouldn't come along. It was the perfect excuse to have you alone and tell you what is going on.

Do I have to say that we didn't see the natural park? No, we went back home. No matter what would happen, I would confront Alex with a direct question about his health. I drove a little faster than what the speed limits allowed. We reached the house and as we didn't hear a thing, I first thought Alex was not home, but his car was in the garage. I finally found him on the terrace in one of the lounge chairs. He looked peacefully asleep. I called out his name, but he didn't wake-up. I got closer and saw that he was sweating profusely. I could also see his chest moving due to his respiration. I shook his shoulder softly, but didn't receive any reaction. That's when I realized he was actually unconscious. I shook him a little harder, but still no reaction. I didn't have a clue as which was the emergency number. I didn't know of any hospital. The only person who would be able to help me was Angela! I called her and she said to stay calm, that she was taking charge of things. Not even ten minutes later I heard the siren of an ambulance stopping in front of the house. I had already opened the gate and the front door. The paramedics rushed in and over to where Alex was. I had opened the umbrella above him so that he would be in the shade.

They had him on a stretcher in no time and I had problems following them with my car. When we arrived at the hospital, Angela was already there, taking charge of papers and insurances. Alex was wheeled into the emergency room immediately but I had to stay out. I hate hospital policies!

It took an eternity before the doctor came out and greeted Angela as a good friend. He needed a consent form to be signed to admit him in intensive care, as he was not waking from his unconsciousness. It was then that I heard the word "coma" for the first time that day. They made me sign a bunch of papers that I didn't even read. If they had to be signed, I would sign anything to help Alex faster and better. Tiffany and Angela stayed at my side the whole time, but I needed someone more: Francisco. I called him, telling him what had happened and where I was. How he did it, I don't know, but in less than fifteen minutes he stormed into the waiting room next to the emergency room and he took me in his arms, trying to comfort me as much as he could.

While we were waiting, I introduced him to Tiffany, who he had heard of, and they hugged as if they were close friends. The doctor came out again and made me sign yet another form to allow them to have a scan. Two hours later the doctor came out again and I immediately knew it was all over. I vaguely heard some words like "brain stroke" and "better for him in his condition".

• What about his condition? I asked. What do you mean?

• With the scan we not only discovered a brain bleeding, but he also had a major brain tumor, the doctor said. Didn't he tell you?

I was flabbergasted. Angela and Francisco looked at me in awe. They were as stunned as I was. It was clear that Alex didn't know either. He had complained about his tiredness and from time to time about killing headaches, but nothing more. Now he was gone! What was I to do? Fortunately Angela and she took care of all the administrative things. Alex had filled in a form and what to do in case of emergency and that allowed her to make the right decisions. She only came over to me when all the paperwork was done and that I just had to sign whatever she presented to me. We had been at the hospital less than four hours and my life had been shattered to pieces. They had allowed me to see him a last time. He looked so peaceful.

I had to call his parents. That was the most difficult phone call I had ever made. Fortunately it was his father who picked up. It was hard on them. His father supplicated to send his body back as they had a family tomb. I asked Angela if there was anything stipulated in his last will, but there wasn't. Burying here wouldn't help me having him back so I told Angela to take all the necessary measures to send him back. His parents would probably organize a religious service, but I was not up to that. I didn't travel with Alex back to his parents.

The following two weeks I lived in a blur. Tiffany and Francisco were the best friends I could have. They stayed the whole time with me. Francisco had taken time off of work for me. I wasn't aware of it, but he and Tiffany were very soon becoming very close friends. She explained to him what kind of gift I had.

• Why couldn't he see what was going to happen than? Francisco asked.

• It is difficult to explain, she answered, but in a nutshell it seems that gifted people can't see clearly for themselves. Our gift is to give away, not for ourselves.

But it was clear to Francisco what it was after she explained. He had been frightened when Alex explained it a few months previous. Now he seemed comfortable with it.

I woke up from my stupor just a few days before Tiffany had to fly back. The wake-up was hard. I guessed Alex's mother was pissed at me, first for taking her son so far away, secondly for not having (in her opinion) the necessary medical care and last but not least, because I didn't travel with him back to them. I wasn't sorry for it or for her. Our relationship had never been that good anyway. Alex's things were here and I tried to exorcise the pain by packing all his things and store them in the garage. I still didn't know what I would do with them. Time would tell.

Francisco came by every single day. I had given him the remote control for the gate and the key to the house. I had been forced to be aware I was on my own and that it was important for someone to be able to enter the house in case something happened with me. Although Alex wasn't there anymore, I could count on the total support of Angela and Mr. Mackenzie. They even organized a kind of funeral service, but not religious at all. All of Alex's colleagues were there and a few said some very nice words about him. I got of course very emotional but appreciated the gesture. They even waited a few weeks before coming and getting Alex's company car.

Francisco tried desperately to get me out of the house. Dinning out became a regular thing. Some evenings we even had a little more to drink than allowed, but we were never really drunk. I even met a few very close friends of Francisco who were pleasant and nice to meet. My circle of friends grew fast. There was not a hair on my head that thought of moving back. I had made my home here in Costa Rica and was firmly decided to adapt a hundred percent to my living here. The house came back to live as well. A few barbecues and swimming pool parties brought laughter back as well. Even though it sounds harsh, my life had to go on and the only souvenir was a picture of Alex and me on the mantle piece.

When I had a hard time, and it happened frequently, Francisco was there to listen to me and accepting my grieving. He was the shoulder I could cry on. He never, never complained and was extremely patient with me. Going back to "normal life" took me over six months. I started to write again. My editor had understood my situation and hadn't insisted too much on the second volume of the trilogy. My inspiration returned, but the book took a new turn with the death of one of the characters. It was my way to cope with my grief. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness I felt were transferred into the book. I thought that it was a kind of therapy and it actually helped.

The appreciation I felt for Francisco grew every day. I even started to miss him when he was not there. He was the one who brought a smile on my face almost effortlessly. We were that often together that I told him he should bring over some clothes so that he wouldn't have to go back to his house every five minutes. I was so happy when I saw him arriving one day with a suitcase. It was almost a year after Alex's death that our friendship took a new turn.

To be continued if you guys tell me you like the story. All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com