Disclaimer: This story, though maybe not in this chapter but in subsequent chapters, will have celebrities in it. I have no knowledge of their sexuality and this is not intended to imply their sexuality. This is all from my own mind. Scary!! People actually get a glimpse into my mind!!!
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Angel and all related characters created by Joss Whedon. Copyright 20th Century Fox.
Batman, and all related characters created by Bob Kane. Copyright DC Comics and Warner Bros.
X-MEN, and all related characters created by Stan Lee. Copyright Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox.
Star Trek and all related characters created by Gene Roddenberry. Copyright Paramount Studios.
I don't know for sure if I will use all the above elements, but just in case, I have myself covered.
In this story, which has been floating around in my head most of my life, you will find many universes merging, as the above copyrights reveal. I hope you all enjoy this. I appreciate any feedback that you may want to give. This story doesn't deal so much with sex, sex, sex, but more of my feelings that I struggled with and am starting to come to terms with. Part of his background is mine. I do hope that you enjoy it!!!
Any emails you send, please tell me what chapter you are commenting on. Thanks.
jmsotc@yahoo.com
Chapter 49 The Ending of Life
I woke up to my alarm going off. It seemed later than I should have gotten up. Of course it was. I had the day off because of Hunter's funeral. The song that was playing kind of saddened me. It brought my mind back to my loss.
Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
As the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Tears came to my eyes as I thought about Hunter losing his happiness because of...the trauma he went through.
Burnt out ends
Of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
A streetlamp dies
Another night is over
Another day is dawning
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look a new day
Has begun
I showered and put on my suit. Reluctantly I headed out to the funeral of one of my friends.
All was quiet and still. None of my college friends could bring themselves to say anything. It was deafening.
Brian was present. I walked over to him.
"Hi, Brian."
"Hi, Eric."
"I haven't seen you around. Is everything okay?"
"Just family stuff."
I put my hand on his shoulder. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay, both with the pain that came with Hunter's death and with the pain his mother was causing. After a moment he pulled away.
Hailey and George walked up to me. Without a word, Hailey embraced me. I rubbed her back with one hand. I placed my other hand on George's shoulder. He was being so tough with this, so strong. That can be dangerous. If he doesn't let out his feelings, they could end up running his life. His grief will turn to anger at anything and everything that he associates with his friendship with Hunter.
I watched as we all gathered around the casket. Hunter's parents sat in the front row, along with his sister and brother. They were ashamed of his gayness. They were just as ashamed of him ending his life. I sat two rows back with Alan, Hailey, George and Brian. The minister gave words of comfort
" 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning' (Psalm 30:5). Let us all remember that the dawn for us will come some day. We will have joy again. And we will look back on Hunter and have a smile on our faces for we will remember all of the good times we had."
My mind wandered back to when I met Hunter at school. Alan introduced us. He was such a bright and hopeful person. He was also quiet. Except for the day he met Nick Carter. I don't think I ever remember him talking so much. He was so in love with Nick. Then, when I saw his face when he and Nick met on the cliff near the ocean. There was fear in his eyes. Fear of what Dr. Israel would do to him. Fear of the treatments. But there was also hope. He planned on escaping Dr. Israel's treatments. He succeeded. Where he went he no longer had to endure the torture of a medical treatment that would never work.
"Is there anything any of you would like to say?" the minister offered.
Brian stood up. "I would, sir."
"Please do."
The minister left the podium and Brian stood up there.
"What I'm about to say may shock many of you. I'm sure it will anger some. But I believe you should get to know Hunter in all his wonderfulness. He was a good friend to me. He helped me when I was going through some rough times. I was with him through his tough times. And we talked about what I'm about to say. He wanted me to say this.
"Hunter was gay. He was attracted to men."
I looked over at Hunter's parents. Their faces became stern. They didn't want their friends and family to know this. They must have felt like other parents who did not want their kids to be gay. They probably felt it was their fault Hunter was gay.
"He was scared of this, at first. He looked at all the hatred that existed in our country. It seems homosexuals are one of the last groups that it's socially acceptable to hate no matter who you are. You could be a minister." Brian turned to the minister. "No offense, sir."
"None taken."
"You could be a politician. You could be a business owner. You could be a car rental manager. You could run an ice cream stand or a newspaper. It doesn't matter. In this country, no matter what you do, it's perfectly okay for you to discriminate against and hate homosexuals, simply because you want to.
"I know many here believe in God. They could probably quote verses that indicate it's a sin to be gay. Maybe it is a sin...for you. For you are born heterosexual, and for you to be gay, it would be unnatural.
"It's unnatural for a gay person to be intimate with a person of the opposite sex. It's inborn. It's not a choice. Hunter believed it was a choice at one time. He tried so hard to choose women. Believe me. I know. I helped him pick out nice girls to date. You know what? He was uncomfortable. It was not natural for him. It only hurt him and the girls he dated. He honestly wanted it to work. He put his whole heart into it. It only left him broken-hearted.
"When others told him it was psychological, that's when he went to Dr. Israel. Dr. Israel feigned compassion. He subjected Hunter and countless others to horrible treatments that did nothing for their homosexuality except make them hate themselves even more. Hating oneself is wrong, especially when you are encouraged to hate a part of you that cannot be changed, like your sexuality. It's wrong.
"Hunter died because he could no longer live in this society that hates people like him. Homosexuals can talk all they want to about the day when everyone will be accepted for who and what they are. But without action, without education, it will be fruitless.
"I would like to read to you something that Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin said, "If you dream of a world in which you can put your partner's picture on your desk, then put his picture on your desk and you will live in such a world. And if you dream of a world in which you can walk down the street holding your partner's hand, then hold her hand and you will live in such a world. If you dream of a world in which there are more openly gay elected officials, then run for office and you will live in such a world. And if you dream of a world in which you can take your partner to the office party, even if your office is the US House of Representatives, then take her to the party. I do, and now I live in such a world. Remember there are two things that keep us oppressed: them and us. We are half of the equations. There will not be a magic day when we wake up and it's now OK to express ourselves publicly. We must make that day ourselves, by speaking out publicly--first in small numbers, then in greater numbers, until it's simply the way things are and no one thinks twice. Never doubt that we will create this world, because, my friends, we are fortunate to live in a democracy, and in a democracy, we decide what's possible."
"We make the rules. Why do we continue to make rules that casts out our fellow man and woman?"
Brian went to his seat. His face was flushed. He was angry and I didn't blame him. I was angry, too, at what happened to Hunter. I was angry at what drove him to the point of making that decision. As much as I wanted to react with fists flying, I knew that the real war was not a physical battle, but a political one, a spiritual one. And in this war, many churches and many politicians will have their hearts poured into it. Could all of the churches be wrong? In the days of Christ, the Pharisees, who were the religious leaders of the day, were wrong. Whose to say the churches aren't today?
I think the problem lies more with social taboo and perceived beliefs of God. Too often one scripture is taken and a doctrine is formed from it when the Bible clearly states that no one scripture is of any private interpretation.
This is a war that will not be easily fought or won. But with God on our side, as I know He is, we will win it. It just takes time, patience and understanding...and incredibly thick skin.
After the funeral Hunter's family did not want a gathering. We decided that we would gather, just his friends, to talk and sort out our feelings. It was a difficult time for all of us.
"I can't believe he's gone," Hailey said. "It seems like I'm in a nightmare. I wish I could just wake up and Hunter would be with us."
"It's not going to happen," Brian said sternly. He was very angry and nothing we did could comfort him. "Hunter's gone because of a bigoted ass! And no matter how much we wish it could be different, there is nothing we can do to bring back Hunter!"
I went over to Brian and hugged him. All his pain and rage was pouring out of him.
"And nothing we do can take away our pain," George replied, "just let time take care of it."
Brian pushed me hard away from him. "I don't know about you guys, but I know something that I can do."
Brian marched out of the room and I followed.
"Brian, wait!" I called.
He stopped and turned. "What is it, Eric?"
"Where are you going?"
"There's something I have to do. I can't explain it to you. Just go back and help everyone else."
"I want to help you."
"There's nothing you can do to help me."
I watched Brian head off. In my heart I knew what he was doing. Part of me wished him Godspeed. But I knew he was only going to get himself hurt. I wanted to go after him to stop him. But I knew it would be a few days before he could act. Dr. Israel was keeping a very low profile right now. He was scared and knew there were many people looking for him. He wasn't going to be easy to find. Brian would not be successful in finding him, at least, not right away. Which was a good thing for me. I had other things to attend to.
I returned to my friends.
"Where's Brian?" Alan asked.
"He has a lot of grief to work through. He would rather do it alone."
"But he shouldn't be alone at a time like this," Hailey replied. "Who knows what he might do?"
"Just be angry," I answered. "All any of us can do is be angry and sad right now."
After a while, I took my leave of my friends and just walked. I had much to think about. I needed to get my head clear. Walking always helped me.
As I walked, I thought of Hunter again. Why did he die? What was the purpose? There was none. But, if he lived, would Dr. Israel be exposed for what he was? Or would we all have this newfound passion to speak out against hatred? Brian wouldn't have had the chance to give his speech to Hunter's parents.
I felt an arm come around my neck and looked over to see Lance smiling at me.
"Hi," I said wiping a tear.
"Hi. Jessica told me where to find you." I nodded to him. "Are you okay?"
"I will be. I just need time to cry."
"My shoulder's here if you need it."
"Thanks, Lance."
I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked.
Eventually we arrived at my apartment. We had walked a good long while.
"I guess this is my stop," I said. "Do you want to come in and call a cab?"
"Sure."
We went inside and Lance picked up the phone. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you for awhile?"
"Yeah. I appreciate your offer. But I have some things to take care of."
"Okay." Lance made his call and, when the cab arrived, went to the door. "Call me if you need me. Don't worry if it's early in the morning or anything. I'm here for you."
"Thank you."
When Lance left, the telephone rang.
"Hello?"
"Eric. This is Jessica. Suit up and get over to Garrett's as quickly as possible."
"Okay. I'll be there in a few minutes."
I suited up and was over at Garrett's mansion in twenty minutes.
"What's up?" I asked as the Huntress let me in.
"Follow me." We headed toward Garrett's library. "How are you?"
"I'm okay. As well as can be expected."
"Did the funeral go okay?'
"As well as funerals go."
We entered the library and went over to Garrett.
"What's going on?" I asked him.
"Trouble."
To Be Continued...
I would like to thank the person who sent the quote from Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin: Dennis Neal. I appreciate it. It was just what I was looking for.
What did you think? I hope I handled Hunter's funeral with decency and respect. Even though he's a fictional character, part of me is in him. Each one of these characters carries part of me with them. With Hunter it was the part of me that had a hard time reconciling my sexuality with life. Had it not been for the presence of God's love I would not have made it. I had no one that I could share this part of me with, no friends, no family members, no one. Only God. I know some of you don't believe in God. I do not believe in forcing it down anyone's throat, but I do have an experience and I would be happy to share it with anyone who would like to hear it. God was with me and kept me from taking the final step of ending my life. To Him I will be eternally grateful.
I've got some good stuff coming up in the next story. Look for lots of mutants and Batman characters to appear in future story arcs.
Only one more chapter to go.