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"Mmmmm...cripes!"
My eyes strained against the light from the alarm clock. It was 3 a.m. and I was shivering from the coldness of the room. I glanced down and the bed covers were half off of me; Jakob sound asleep on his side facing the opposite direction all wrapped up like a cozy little bundle. I quickly jumped out of bed to shut the open window.
Jakob and I had been sharing my bed intimately for a couple of months. As much as it was a dream come true for me, it was taking me a lot of time and patience to get used to his bedtime rituals; mainly the temperature of the room. Jakob was like a little heater and unfortunately for him he couldn't sleep worth a damn if the room was the slightest bit warm. Unfortunately for me, that meant buying a fan and having the air conditioner running more than I was used to. It also meant leaving the window open at night whether it was hot or cold out. On this particular morning, it was cold and the wind was blowing.
I quickly got myself back into the warmth of the bed as I noticed that my body was covered in goose bumps from the cold of the room. I tugged on the covers and shimmied my way over to that little heater on the other side of the bed. A shudder went through me and I shoved an arm underneath him so that I could wrap it around him and press myself close. I laughed as I felt him jump a little.
"You're cold," he mumbled sleepily as he tried to arch his back away from me. I only tightened my arms around him and felt him jump again.
"I know I'm cold. You stole all the blankets, you little shit." I chuckled in Jakob's ear before kissing it.
I felt him stir more as he became more alert. He was trying to roll over, but my arms were tight around him and half my weight was pressing him down in an effort to steal some of his body heat. Jakob continued to wiggle around in an effort to change his position, but I instead rolled over even more so that he was face down and I was completely on top of him.
"Ugh! You're heavy." Jakob complained as he turned his head to the side.
"You're warm." I mumbled into his neck before kissing it.
Jakob snickered as he tried to wiggle his way out from under me. He managed to get his arms out and tried to push up so I'd get off of him, but I was too heavy for him.
"Bryan..." Jakob whined, but it just set us both into a fit of laughter.
It didn't take long before we were wrestling around with Jakob unsuccessfully trying to shove me off of him. I was virtually a dead weight lying on him. Jakob continued to buck against me in an attempt to get me to lose my balance and slide off of him, but all it really did was make me hard. I was warm, sleepy, content and a little horny feeling Jakob's naked skin against my own. My face was nuzzled in Jakob's neck and I inadvertently thrust my cock between the mounds of Jakob's buttocks.
"You're a perv...and a jerk. And you weight a ton! Get off me Bry!" Jakob whined and laughed and continued thrashing beneath me.
I knew it was wrong, but deep down in some dark recess of my soul it turned me on knowing I could overpower Jakob. Just knowing I could have him so easily gave me butterflies. It also scared the crap out of me. There was a line I knew I'd never cross or even mention to him. He trusted me when he trusted no one else and I could and would never do anything to break that trust.
My body covered every inch of his and I marveled at the feeling. He had lost a bit of weight after the rape and wasn't quite in the same physical shape he once was. The difference in our sizes was beyond obvious; my body enveloped his, but I'd always loved that about us-about him.
"Mmmmm...why do you feel so good?" I mumbled sleepily in Jakob's ear before kissing it again.
Jakob stopped moving about and was clearly winded and out of breath. He sounded defeated when he called my name.
"Bryan?"
I could've fallen asleep on him; his skin was so soft and warm. I really didn't want to move.
"Mmmmm..."
"Bry, you're not gonna fall asleep on me, are you? I can't breathe, Bryan."
I thought I could sense a delicate trace of fear in his voice and I eased my upper half so I could check on him and so that he could push himself up.
"You okay?" I ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, now that I can breathe. Jeeze, Bry...you weigh like an elephant."
"An elephant?" I grinned and shoved Jakob onto his back. "An elephant?" I grabbed his wrists and held his arms above his head while I rolled on top of him.
"Aw shit, not again." Jakob groaned and we both started laughing.
"Ain't you warm enough yet?" Jakob griped as I snuggled my face into his neck, letting go of his wrists so I could wrap my arms around his body. I slowly rolled us over; me on my back and Jakob on top of me.
He looked at me seriously before chastely kissing me on the lips and then plopped his head down on my shoulder while wrapping his arm around me. I was definitely warm enough. I grabbed the edge of the bed covers and straightened them out before tucking them around Jakob and myself.
"Am I too heavy?"
"Nope. You're just right." I smiled. "You okay?" I checked with Jakob before I went back to sleep; all warm and happy.
"Mmmhmm..." he mumbled and tightened his arm around me. "I promise I won't steal your blankets anymore."
I laughed and kissed his head while one arm tightened around his shoulders bringing him closer to me, the other hand found his hair.
"You better not, or this elephant's gonna have something to say about it."
Jakob stifled a laugh before his breathing pattern changed and I knew he was almost asleep.
"I love you, baby."
"Mmmmm...love you more."
It was light when I opened my eyes and slowly sat up to clear my head of sleep. I sat there yawning, running my hands through my hair, down to the back of my neck and rubbing myself on my shoulders and chest before I turned my head to look at Jakob. As usual, my heart skipped a beat, and I sat in awe for what could have been hours, just watching him and smiling.
Jakob was lying on his back with his head to the one side facing me with one arm flexed with that hand resting under his chin, and the other arm draped across his taut stomach. His full lips were slightly parted, just asking me to lean down and kiss them. Jakob was his usual oblivious self-looking as beautiful as he always seemed to be, sleeping as soundly as ever. The mere sight of him in this position was turning me on, and I grinned in spite of myself as I lay back down and shuffled closer to his naked body.
My thumb brushed across his lips as my hand cupped his face. Jakob was still asleep, but his face seemed to press further into my palm. I smiled to myself; I wanted to kiss him so badly. I let my lips brush lightly against his before my tongue gently flicked at them, and my teeth tenderly nipped them. Jakob shifted slightly and then turned his head in the opposite direction.
"M'time is it?" He mumbled almost incoherently.
I nuzzled his ear while I glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was only 7 in the morning; still early.
"Morning, baby. It's pretty early still." I told him before I started kissing his ear.
"Go back to sleep, Bry." Jakob was still mumbling as his head fell back so that it was facing me.
"Okay, Jakob." I smiled as I watched him fall back asleep. He looked younger than nineteen as he laid there asleep in my bed. He looked so peaceful and I figured that was why; or maybe we all just look younger when we're sleeping.
The bed covers had slid down to his abdomen while I had sat up in bed, revealing his chest. I propped my head up on my hand and let my other hand gently trace along his smooth skin. My finger found its way to his nipple where it softly swirled around watching it peak and harden. I let my hand glide over the blanket to pull it down revealing more of his naked form as I shifted my position so I was able to move more freely; having complete access to his body. I removed the bed covers completely from the both of us, and marveled as his body was suddenly covered in thousands of little bumps from the chilly temperature of the room. My mouth found his nipple, and I kissed and sucked on it; warming it against the cold.
"It's cold," Jakob mumbled.
I looked up from my task, but Jakob still seemed half asleep. I kissed the center of his chest softly before working his other nipple with my tongue. Jakob let out a soft moan, but remained sleepy. I looked down his beautiful body and felt an urge to just consume him. It wasn't the first time I'd had sex, but the feelings were different and foreign; my need was more powerful than I had ever experienced before.
I shifted in bed to move lower; trailing my tongue lightly down the center of Jakob's chest, down until I reached his navel. I felt Jakob shift slightly. I slid my arms beneath his thighs, in turn moving his legs up as I pulled him down the bed. Jakob's eyes fluttered open in confusion but I said nothing; offering no explanation of what was happening. I could smell a musky sweetness that was all Jakob and it urged me on. I wasn't really sure what it was I was seeking until I was presented with the completely exposed target between Jakob's legs. I knew what I wanted at that moment, and heard the pounding of my heart in my ears.
"Bry..."
"Shhhhh..." was all I offered before my mouth fastened itself to the skin where his leg and torso met.
Jakob startled and let out a yelp, but I barely noticed as the taste of him flooded my senses. I sucked and kissed on the flesh of his groin as my hand moved up and took ahold of his hardening shaft. I felt his entire body tense as I let my hand stroke up and down over his manhood while my mouth devoured the crook of his thigh.
Jakob arched his back as my mouth moved over his groin. I could hear his breathing become rapid; the occasional moan escaping. I slowly turned my head and felt his balls near my mouth. I kissed him softly there before making my way up his rigid cock.
Jakob grabbed a hold of my shoulder as I took him into my mouth for the very first time. As quickly as he grabbed onto me, was as quickly as his hand left and both were tugging at the sheets beneath us. He pressed his hips into the mattress beneath us while he bit back a moan. One hand of his left the sheets and slowly ran itself down his stomach. Before I knew it I could feel his hand running through my hair. It was all the encouragement that I needed.
We had discussed on a few occasions where our lovemaking would lead us, but neither one of us had been brave enough to make the first move. We both loved to cuddle and touch and kiss, but neither one of us had been with a man before. I figured in the back of my head that it made us both afraid to step up to the plate and make the first move. Jakob's comfort was always at the forefront of my mind in these situations as well. I knew it would only take one wrong move to devastate what I had built with him up to this point. All my fears regarding sex with Jakob seemed to disappear as I took him into my mouth again and reeled from his wonderful taste.
Because it was my first experience with another man, I had to let my instincts and experience guide me. Having been on the receiving end before although it had been with women, had made things a little bit easier. I had some idea of what felt good to me, and performed those same things on Jakob. His breathing was hard and ragged, his hand would occasionally grab and release my hair as his soft moans filled the bedroom. Soon Jakob's hips stopped pressing into the mattress and he slowly began thrusting his cock deeper into my mouth and throat. I could taste the salty thick fluid leaking from him and I sucked him harder. I'd never been as turned on as I was at that point.
"Bryan?"
There was suddenly a subtle hint of fear in Jakob's voice that made me stop in my tracks. I let him slip from my mouth as I looked up to see his expression. Two pools of baby blues looked back at me, but I couldn't read them. He reached a hand out to touch my face and took a deep breath.
"Are you okay, Jakob?"
Jakob nodded his assent.
"Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?"
Jakob took another deep breath and held it. His face became flushed and he looked away; his face turning to the side before he shook his head.
"No." It was barely above a whisper.
I stared at him awhile as he tried to avoid my gaze. I slowly moved up; his legs still draped over my arms. When he looked at me I let my mouth fall upon his own. He wrapped his arms around me keeping me close, his kisses fevered. My body seemed to move on its own accord; my hips pushing up into his own. When my cock slipped and pushed against his entrance, Jakob tensed up and froze; his fingers digging into my back. I gently moved my arms to let his legs rest and my hands let themselves move through Jakob's hair while I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
I could hear Jakob take ragged breaths; his fingers were still digging painfully into my skin. I kissed him repeatedly on his neck and shoulders, feeling as his body slowly relaxed.
"Shhhhh..." I whispered in an effort to comfort him. "I would never hurt you, Jakob. It's gonna be okay, baby."
"I know," he whispered back to me. "This is...is...this is intense."
I moved up to look at him and he took my breath away. His hair was disheveled and his eyes had a fire in them that I hadn't seen before. He reached up and cupped my face with his hand and let his thumb brush over my lips until I took it into my mouth and sucked on it gently. He gave me small smile before I planted a series of kisses on his chest again; making my way back down to his groin. He was still completely hard as I buried my face into his crotch and relished in the smell and taste of his salty flesh. I felt his fingers run through my hair before it clenched a handful of it as my mouth continued to explore every inch that existed between his legs.
"Uuuhhmmm, God! Bryan..."
His voice shook me. He was letting me take him; body and soul and I could feel it in my heart and especially in my own hardened organ. I let my other hand knead his scrotum as my mouth moved up and down on his hardness. I could taste the thick fluid of his desire trickling from the head of his penis. It was salty and I swallowed hard as I tried to take as much of his length as I could. Jakob was panting and moaning; beginning to thrash about on the bed despite being beneath me.
"Bryan...please..." He was desperate and pleading. "I can't take it anymore!"
"Mmmm..." I moaned with his cock in my mouth; completely overtaken by his loss of control. My hand released his sac and gently wedged itself into the crevice of his ass. I felt Jakob jump; obviously startled by my boldness. His muscles tightened as I let one finger rub up and down the crack of his ass. He sucked in a deep breath, and in turn startled me as my mouth was suddenly flooded with his first explosion.
I let the taste of his seed linger as I moved off to watch him in his glory. His body seemed to contort in sort of seizure-like movements. His arms splayed out to either side and his hands grabbed at the sheets as his cock erupted before my unbelieving eyes. His eyes were clenched shut as he struggled to regain control of his breathing; only to fail miserably. I swallowed his essence, and decided that I liked the taste of it as much as I enjoyed the taste of every other part of him.
Jakob's body was still seizing as I moved up and began to kiss him over and over again on his face. He finally opened his baby blues, and looked at me with the sexiest expression I had ever seen. My lips pressed against his, and our kiss was one of total surrender to one another. I moved my hands to his face and hair, and stroked him lovingly as I felt his arms and hands encircle my waist; his hands beginning to roam up and down my back.
"Happy Birthday, Jakey." I smiled and kissed him on the forehead.
"Mmmm..." Jakob moaned drowsily. "Was that my birthday present?"
"Maybe," I teased.
Jakob cracked a silly grin and he blushed before replying. "Can I get one of those for Christmas too?"
I looked at him for a moment before we both cracked up and started laughing and wrestling. I had forgotten about my own arousal from the experience, and it wasn't until I felt Jakob's fingers softly rubbing around the head of my member, it dawned on me how far we had come. I immediately stopped wrestling with him, and looked down into his eyes with a smile. There would never be enough words in this lifetime of mine to describe how deeply I loved him. Jakob shuffled beneath me, and broke my gaze with a disconcerted expression. I eased off of him as he moved to sit up in bed; his cheeks still blushing, and his eyes avoiding me.
"What's wrong, Jakob?"
"Nothing." Jakob grumbled below his breath.
"Nothing, he says. C'mon, Jakey. Talk to me. What's wrong?"
"I just..." Jakob stopped and he looked down, his chin to his chest.
"What is it, baby?" I gently ran my fingers through his soft hair.
"I don't know if I can do that to you, Bryan. I'm too scared and I don't know how." Jakob's eyes started watering, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, and brought him closer to me.
"Jakob, you don't ever have to do anything you're not comfortable with. If it makes you feel better, I wasn't planning to do that; it just happened. I didn't know what I was doing. I just went by how you were responding. I mean, how many guys do you think I blow?"
Jakob looked at me curiously, and we both chuckled lightly.
"Listen, kiddo. In reality, we're both first timers here. I just love being with you, Jakob. Whatever you're ready to give is perfect. You don't have to do anything more." And with that pledge, I kissed him.
Jakob turned enough so that we could hug each other, and I felt his face press up against my cheek and ear. "I really love you," was what he said before we both sank back down under the covers and fell asleep in each other's arms.
"Oh, Bryan!" My mother was practically bawling while she was inspecting me and kissing my face. "Sweetheart, you cut your hair. You're so handsome, dear. Steven isn't our son handsome?"
My dad looked at me and rolled his eyes in response to my mothers coddling. "Faith, for Pete's sake, stop your groping and let the boys inside."
"Oh, you just hush. Bryan, you look wonderful today, and Jakob..." My mother went to Jakob to furbish him with the same affection, only Jakob, unlike me, lapped it up like a little puppy. Normally I would be embarrassed for him, but I knew how much he missed his own mother, and was thankful that my mom was so eager to take him under her wing. My mom hugged Jakob for a moment while I followed my father to the backyard where the barbeque was set up.
"Jesus Christ it's a wonder we don't all suffocate and die when she gets like that." My dad muttered while he opened the top of the barbeque.
I smiled, but said nothing in return. It was true-sometimes mom was a bit over the top. It just seemed to be her way of showing affection. Sometimes it was more than I could handle, and I'd skip a few weeks in between visits. Inside, I knew she meant well and was just being herself. I figured all moms were annoying in their own little ways. That was part of the mom DNA. It didn't annoy me so much now that I was with Jakob. I could be like him and not have a mom to love me and annoy me. The thought wasn't comforting, and I learned to count my blessings.
My dad handed me a beer and then proceeded to put some steaks on the hot grill of the barbecue. It was sunny and warm outside, and we sat in unusual silence while I reminisced of my childhood, and he took care of supper. One of my favorite memories of my father has always been him in the backyard grilling steaks, hamburgers, or you name it during the spring and summer. To this day, whenever I'm outside and smell a barbeque going, I always think of my dad. I broke out of my daze and smiled at him, putting my arm around his back.
"He's a nice boy, Bryan." My father said, out of the blue.
My dad and I never had that talk yet. There never seemed to be the right time or setting to discuss the fact that I was gay. Was there really the perfect time or setting? My dad never hinted or gave any indication how he felt about it. I imagined that it was a disappointment-his only son being gay. I guessed it wasn't any father's dream to have their boy turn out that way. He never led on either way. My mother, I assumed was the go-between since she pretty much "outted" me before I realized or admitted to myself who and what I was. My father remained a man of tact, and as usual, he knew exactly what to say, and how to say it. My arm tightened briefly around my dad's back. I didn't have to be afraid to be myself around him.
"I really love him, Dad."
My dad didn't say anything, but he nodded and winked at me. I know that if I lost my father the next day, that moment would be the one I would hold dearest to my heart of him. My dad grabbed his beer and held the bottle up as if wanting to make a toast. I grinned and clinked my bottle with his, and we stood together cooking steak and drinking our beer.
My mom and Jakob were in the kitchen setting the table when I passed through to go down the hallway into the bathroom in order to wash up for supper. I stood and daydreamed while my hands were playing with the water, and I didn't notice Jakob behind me until he shut the bathroom door and startled me.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I jumped slightly as I turned off the water and grabbed a towel that was hung on the door in order to dry my hands.
I wiped them quickly and leaned against the counter in front of the sink, facing Jakob. Jakob didn't answer me. He stared into my eyes as he reached around me and turned the water faucets on full blast.
"Jakob, what are you..." I stopped as Jakob's hands and fingers worked the button and zipper of my pants, and soon had them along with my briefs, down around my ankles.
"Jakob..." My heart was pounding in my head at his sudden boldness.
"I changed my mind." He whispered before he pulled on my neck so that I would lean down to kiss him.
I was mixed with confusion and lust, as I didn't really know what he meant at that point, but paused to enjoy the sensation of our mouths as they opened to one another. The kiss didn't last long enough.
"What are you talking about, baby?" I whispered as Jakob's mouth tore itself off of mine and was kissing my nipples through the light cotton of my shirt.
"I changed my mind," was all he said before he sank to his knees, and took me in his hand and slid his beautiful mouth over my warm cock.