Matt
I hadn't even made sense of what Jared's mom had said when Jared ran out of the room. He opened the French doors to the deck, leaned over the railing, and puked. His parents and I went running after him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned over with his hands on his knees gasping for air.
"Jared!" I said as I put my hand on his back.
"I need some air, I just need some air," he said trying to catch his breath.
"You guys don't have to decide right now and you don't have to say yes either," Tom said. "We'll give him a good life."
"I can't deal with this right now," Jared studdered as he put his hands on his head.
"I need to take a walk," he said as he headed for the front door. He was gone before I could go after him and Sue put her hand on my shoulder.
"Just let him go," she said.
A half hour or so later he did come back and he sat down on the couch with us all again.
"We don't expect an answer today," Tom began sounding like he didn't really know what to say. "But there's a court process that has to be followed and we're going to need an answer in a pretty short amount of time."
"Oh my god," Jared moaned as he started to cry again.
"Had you guys ever thought about kids before?" Sue asked.
"We've never really talked about it," I said before Jared could say anything. I could tell that he really wasn't in the state of mind to be having this conversation even after his walk.
"I think," was as far as I got before Jared cut me off.
"Matt and I need some time alone before we go any further. I need to talk to him alone," he announced and stormed off to his old bedroom.
Sue shook her head as I continued what I was saying.
"I think I can see myself being okay with it but we never thought it was something we'd ever consider because of his job. There's so many things we're going to have to work out like whether we call ourselves his dads or his uncles and..."
"Matt for the love of god don't get ahead of yourself like that," Tom interjected.
"I'm not getting ahead of myself. These are real things we'll have to consider. And this really isn't a decision that we should be making right after his brother died. This isn't a slight against you guys but I think Jared and I need to spend the next few nights somewhere else so we can process this together and look at it objectively," I explained while his parents listened intently. They looked down and nodded like they understood why I felt the way I did but they didn't like what I was saying.
"I'm going to go check on Jared," I said as I headed for his bedroom but he wasn't in there. I tried what was Brady's bedroom and I could hear him crying through the door and when I opened it I saw a half-empty fifth of whiskey in his hand.
"Jared give me that," I instructed and he brought the bottle closer to his body. He was only getting more hysterical the more drunk he got.
"Jared stop," I said as I wrestled it away from him. I turned around and went into the bathroom and dumped what was left of it down the sink.
"Just let me cope!" he slurred.
"Damn it Jared," I began before I sat down next to him and put my arm around him.
"Jared I know this isn't something we talk about a lot but I do believe in God. I believe there's an afterlife and that Brady can see what's going on right now. Do you really think that this is what he wants to be happening? We can say yes and we can say no. This just isn't the way to go about it. Listen to me. We need to get through these next few days and then we can talk about this like adults. We need to think with clear heads, okay?" I brought him in for a hug.
"I've made an executive desion that we're going to get a room for the next few nights so we can be alone until the visitation and funeral are over. Is that okay?"
He nodded and I went back out into the living room where his parents and Sam were still sitting.
"Jared is in a fragile state right now," I said with a sign. "Me and him are going to get a hotel at least until the visitation and funeral are over."
"You can borrow my car," Sue said as she went to get her keys.
"Tomorrow is the first day of visitation," she said as she handed me the brochure for the funeral home that had the address on it.
Jared came out of the bedroom and hugged his parents goodbye and I drove us to the Baymont Inn that was in town.
"Jared you really scared me with that," I said trying not to upset him.
"I'm sorry."
"Look we're both hurting but you can't do things like that. I'm right here with you and I always will be. We're all going through a lot of different emotions and it's okay to feel them all. But please don't make this any worse for yourself," I said choosing my words carefully.
We checked in and got to our room before we held each other on the bed and cried for a while. After we got it out we decided to get dinner and as I started searching for the keys Jared blurted it out.
"I think I want to adopt him."
"You do?" I asked. It startled me when he said that because I still hadn't started coming up with an opinion.
"He's my flesh and blood. We can give him a good home and maybe even siblings," he said.
"Jared," I interrupted him before he got carried away. "Let's not talk about this until we're both calmer. Okay?"
"Okay," he whispered as my phone started to ring. It was Sue.
"Hello?"
"Hey Matt. I just wanted to let you know what was happening tomorrow since I didn't get a chance to tell you. Visitation doesn't start until noon but the family is allowed to come at 8 to get set up. We can each spend some time alone with Brady as well. Visitation is for three days and then the next day we'll have the funeral and the burial."
"Okay, when do you want us there?" I asked. I looked at Jared and he was hunched over with his hands on his knees.
"It's up to you guys. Sam and I are going to do the grocery shopping for the hors d'oeuvres tonight."
"I'll see you tomorrow then. I love you," I said before we hung up.
"I can't do this," Jared whispered.
"Jared when my grandma died my mom suggested that I write a letter to her. I think that might be a good start. You can write Brady a letter and read it to him when you're ready." I said as I sat down next to him and put my arm around him.
"Why did this have to happen?" he asked through tears as he buried his head in his hands.
"I wish I knew," I replied.
"Matt I'm so glad I have you. Seems like I'm always the one giving emotional support," he said as he wiped away tears.
"Dude we're partners. It's not a one-way street," I said with a sigh as I brought him in for a hug.
We went back to the house and when we got there Sue embraced us both for a really long time as we walked in the door.
"Thank you for coming back. Dinner is almost ready," she said as Tom came to hug us as well.
"Do you guys wnat to meet Danny?" Sue asked and Jared started crying again.
Tom comforted him as I went to sit down on the couch in the living room. Jared followed me in there eventually and Sue returned with Danny in her arms.
"I've never held a baby before," I said as she leaned over to hand him to me. "I was an only child so I had never had the chance."
"You want to support his head with the crook of your arm," she said as she handed him to me.
"Hey buddy," I whispered to him.
He was still asleep and I could feel the bonding chemicals surging through me. I knew that I was okay with this if Jared was. I thought about how hard a wait it was going to be to get through the funeral and for Jared to get ingto the right frame of mind to be able to make a decision like this. Jared had an ambivalent look on his face when it was his turn to hold Danny. My heart burt when I saw him take him in his arms because he was just adorable but it was still a very bittersweet moment.
We went back to the hotel and when we got into our room we embraced tightly for a few minutes before we kissed. As soon as our lips met it was like lighting the fuse to a roman candle. We ripped each other's clothes off and were naked in a flash. It was primal and intense. Before I knew it he had me on my back and was reaching for the lube. He pushed himself inside me and it took the air out of my lungs as he did. He kept his eyes closed as he pounded away while the pleasure got more and more intense.
Before I knew it I was shooting cum hands-free and Jared finished inside me just as I came. It shot over my head and creamed the headboard behind us. We were both paralyzed with pleasure as we came together and finally after a moment we were able to take a breath. He laid down beside me and we cuddled together as we made sense of what had just happened.
"Did I seriously just fuck the cum out of you?"
"Yeah you did. That was fucking insane," I said panting.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" he asked me as we sat up on the edge of the bed.
"Jared I just want you to keep in mind that I'm right here with you. It's going to be hard but we're going to face it together," I said as I put my hand on his shoulder.
"I don't want to break down and be a mess in front of everyone."
"Jared," I said before I stopped myself and took a deep breath. I realized I really needed to think before I spoke in this situation.
"You're the most self-reliant person I've ever met. I just want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. I'll be right here with you through this whole thing."
That's when he started to cry again.
"Tomorrow is going to be rough but we're going to get through it."
We both went to bed and slept for as long as we could, which wasn't much. Finally it was time to go to the funeral home and when we arrived we just stopped and looked at each other after I parked the car.
"You ready?" I asked.
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