Symmetry

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Symmetry-12

Evan's Story

"I'm telling you for the last time, she doesn't want to see you. What do you expect?" Edmund Langston, Cece's husband, stood blocking the entrance way at the large ornate front door of his house. He was a big man in length and breadth and he dominated the doorway in a very imposing manner.

"Edmund, I know she's confused and angry about this but I have to see her. It's been almost two weeks already. She is not returning my phone calls and when I came by on Wednesday Harriet said she wasn't in. She is avoiding me but I must see her. Surely, you understand," Evan said with as much composure as he could muster. This was beyond what he had ever envisaged.

"Evan, Evan, be rational. She is too shocked right now. What do you really expect? For god's sake, she found you and your best friend having sex in the kitchen. It was just too blatant for her, just too much to take."

"We were not having sex in the kitchen. I wasn't expecting her. I mean, I know she sometimes lets herself in when she suspects I am sleeping late on the weekend but I never deliberately expected her to find out like this. I was going to tell her properly. Come on, Edmund, let me just see her. I know her, I know she'll talk to me." Evan explained again desperately. This whole nightmarish experience was so draining and he wanted to be over with it.

"I'm sorry, Evan. And frankly, I think you should leave her alone. Really Evan, she was so proud of you and your accomplishments. You and your parents are the same; you all end up betraying her trust." And with that Edmund closed the door, leaving Evan bewildered on the porch.

Evan was left with no choice but to leave. He headed to his car, got in and took a few moments before starting the car; perhaps expecting that Cece would burst through the door and call him back. He looked at the front door expectantly and then gave up and drove away. The thoughts returned to torment and haunt him as they had done so persistently over the past days. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have forgotten that he had given Cece keys to his apartment? How could he have forgotten that she had a habit of waking him up on Saturday mornings when she was particularly excited about some plan to go to the market or for breakfast? After all these months, he should have been more alert. He definitely should not have been caught almost naked, his tongue planted deep in his best friend's throat having his ass cheeks groped and spread apart. But that is how they had been found. He shuddered at the memory.

Cece's car had screeched so loudly as she drove off while Evan had still been trying to get his pants on. He had called her on her cell phone immediately but it had rang for an eternity without answer. His attempt to chase after her had been halted by Ron who had sensibly explained that perhaps she had needed time to come to terms with the situation. Evan had agreed on giving her space but almost two week later she still had not barged.

Ron had stood by his side, comforting him and assuring him that things would be fine. With every fiber in his being, Evan wanted to believe that this was a passing problem, but he doubted. He doubted Cece would come to terms with him and Ron. He felt so completely agitated, his insides churned with confusion and trepidation. Maybe he had stepped into this new life blindly. Cece obviously felt that the relationship between Ron and Evan was a problem. Having a crush on your best friend was perhaps a common happening especially if the friend in question was as tall, dark and gorgeous as Ron. That was not the biggest problem. Being in love with your best friend and engaging in the hottest, sweetest, mind-blowing emotional, spiritual, physical relationship with that friend was not a common happening. That was the problem. But he knew without a doubt, it was the best problem he had ever found himself in.

Ron's Story

The phone call he had received in his office earlier that day would perhaps change his life. Really, this was huge. Finally, his hard work had finally paid off. Three months ago, he had sent a query to a national monthly literary review and he had quickly forgotten about it because he had doubted such a prestigious publication would be interested in his work. He had mentioned his doubts to Evan who had promptly told him "it was their fucking fault if those snobs couldn't see that he was the most amazing writer in the world". Okay, so Evan was a little biased. When the editor's assistant had replied, asking him to send more samples of his writing, Ron had been elated but prudent. Now he was over the moon. The editor had called him to inform him that a series of his stories had been chosen for release in six upcoming publications. The publications included some of the greatest modern writers from around the world and to be included in their ranks was a dream come true.

He sat in his kitchen anticipating Evan's arrival. The week had been rough on both of them. The plans to move in together had been shelved for the moment. Their relationship had developed so rapidly, so smoothly over the past few months and now the problems with Cece had added another dimension to their love. The dazed, hazy, blissful phase was over. Now they were confronted with a situation that neither really knew how to handle. Evan had been so distraught on Saturday after the Cece's graphic discovery of them but Ron had been impressed by his poise as the days went by. He had remained rational and courageous through it all. Even as the week went on, Evan had kept his optimism. His mum had been right; they were strong. He picked up his phone and dialed his parent's house.

"Hello," his mum's cheery voice chimed through.

"Hey, mum. How is it going?"

"Fine, fine, Ronny. Forget about me. How is Evan? Did his sister talk to him? How long is she going to keep this up?" The numerous query thing was her modus operandi and she kept it up unfailingly.

"He's being really tough about it, mum. He is keeping his hopes up and I'm doing everything I can to help. It pisses me off though that his sister is being so uncompromising."

"Give it some time and you just do you part by loving him, honey. Tell Evan to call me if he needs to talk. I talked to him briefly at his office yesterday but he was busy. I think about him all the time. Actually, about both of you. I want you both to be happy," his mum said infusing her words with a sincerity that Ron had come to expect.

"Thanks, mum. Something else happened to me today. I got a call from the editor of National Review. They want to publish my stories," Ron said and seconds later was assaulted by a loud jubilant gleeful scream. She shrieked into the phone so enthusiastically, Ron had to pull it away from his ear. They spent the next minutes talking about the good news. Halfway through the conversation, Ron heard the front door open and Evan walked in dropping his coat and tie on the chair.

Evan looked tired and worn out as he walked towards the kitchen. His usually upright posture was slightly skewed. Just slightly, but Ron could tell. His hazel eyes lacked their usual sparkle and when he attempted to smile, it was fragile.

"Mum I gotta go. I'll talk to you later," Ron announced and after her loving goodbye he hang up and looked at Evan fixedly.

"She still won't see me," Evan said, his voice sounding sad and weak.

"Come here," Ron said, pushing his chair back and tapping his lap with his hand. Evan walked over looked at the offered spot and after planting a kiss on Ron's forehead, he sat down sideways on Ron's lap. Ron placed his lips on Evan's tight bicep, inhaling the unique scent he was so addicted to and then laced his hands around Evan's waist.

"She won't see me," Evan repeated sadly.

"Well, give her time. She loves you so much, she'll come around," Ron said his nose nuzzling against Evan.

"What if she doesn't?" Evan asked turning his head and looking into Ron's eyes.

"She will," Ron repeated. They both needed to believe that. They continued to sit silently, each contemplating the situation.

"So, how was your day?" Evan asked after a protracted silence.

"Actually, good. Remember the literary review I told you about? The editor called; they're going to publish my work."

Evan sprang up from Ron's lap, his face beaming. "Ron! Wow! That is absolutely great! Didn't I tell you? Didn't I say they'd call you?" Evan reached and pulled Ron off his chair and then after showering his face with triumphant kisses, he threw his arms around him and hugged him. They started laughing and spinning with their arms around each other.

"Baby, they are going to publish my work!" Ron said, halting their impromptu dance and looking intently into Evan's eyes. He captured the pride and joy in those hazel eyes and stored that look in his heart and mind. It was the inspiration he would need for his future work. He moved forward and kissed Evan's waiting lips. Their lips touched lovingly; the tingling contact never failing to arouse. Evan pulled back and led them to the couch where they sat in their favorite position; Ron leaning against the arm rest, his legs spread apart and Evan leaning lightly against him between his legs, their hands clasped together.

"I never doubted," Evan said as he moved his body around trying to find his sweet spot.

"I know. I've been thinking it's about time I quit Cameron and Kuch. We both know it's not what I want. They're paying really well for my stories. That plus my savings, I could work more. Honestly, baby, I am so done with Cameron. It's about time I jumped in with both feet," Ron loved this closeness with Evan and he imbibed it into his being as he spoke.

Evan gave his simple reply. "Do it, babe."

"You still want to move in together?" Ron asked his hand moving up and down Evan's torso lazily.

"I don't know. I'm not sure now is a good time. This stuff with Cece isn't exactly conducive," Evan replied unbuttoning his shirt so that Ron's hands could caress naked skin.

"Oh," Ron said surprised at Evan's answer. How did Cece figure into their living arrangements? There had to be more. There was.

"And I've been thinking. Moving in is a big step. Like if we live together, it's pretty much official. What will the people at work think?" Evan said sounding totally at ease with his words. They were harsh to Ron's ears.

"Who cares what they think? Do you care what they think?"

"I take it you don't care what they think," Evan said turning his head to look at Ron.

"I don't care. Come on, you actually think it matters to them? Evan, why?" Ron hoped this conversation was not heading where it seemed to be heading. He held his breath.

"Because, I am not going to let personal matters ever interfere with my career."

"That's great. But I hope you don't think pretending and keeping secrets is the right way to go about that." Yes, they were back at square one.

"I have given this a whole lot of thought. My private life and my career are apart and if I have my way, they should never cross. Come on, Ron. Don't be so naive. You think that us being together will have no bearing on how my career develops. Just tell me; how many top, renowned, openly gay CEOs can you name?" Evan pulled up and attempted to seat upright forcing Ron to take his legs off the chair. They sat side by side, a foot and a half of space between them.

"I don't know any. But I'm sure there are a whole lot of them. Just because they're not on CNN or on the front page of Wall Street Journal doesn't mean that gay CEOs don't exist."

"They exist. Of course, they exist. They just don't publicize their personal lives. Don't..." Evan said firmly.

"Don't what? Don't tell you that I do not agree? Well, I don't. I am not going to hide. I love who I am, who I am becoming. I love that I love you and you are a man. There is a depth to our relationship that I could never achieve with a woman. I am proud of who I am. Unlike you, I do not mind if my personal life interferes with my career. Evan, I don't..."

"Of course you don't, Ron. You're a writer. You are not held up to the same standards. I have been rejected by the only family I have. I will not be rejected by those in the field where I have worked so hard to curve a niche for myself."

"So what are you saying?" This whole conversation was moving too fast and yet in his head the words were spinning in a lurid slow motion. Ron closed his eyes awaiting the answer.

"I am saying that I regret Cece found us. I wish I could have saved her this. I am saying I do not want people from work to know because it is none of there business. I am saying I need you to understand that," Evan answered calmly. They did not face each other.

"I don't think I can."

"That's very typical of you, Ron."

"What do you mean?" Ron felt his heart pound and he turned to face Evan who was staring straight ahead.

"I mean, it's very much like you. Your arrogance is astounding," Evan said in monotone in an attempt block out all his emotion.

"Evan, Evan, listen to yourself. Listen to us. This is so fucked up."

"I know. Understand me, babe. I love you. I am begging you to see it my way. I need you to understand where I am coming from," Evan said sadly. The emotions emerged.

"You're making this so hard. This doesn't have to be complicated. Why are you being such a coward?" Ron asked.

"I am not a coward, Ron. I'm being realistic. Maybe with time, I'll change my mind about this but for now; I need you to be by my side on this one. You have to see it my way." Evan's voice cracked as he spoke.

"I can't." Try as he could, Ron failed to see it Evan's way. What happened to their strength? He wanted for them freedom and happiness.

"Fuck you!" Evan said angrily and finally turned to face Ron. His eyes blazed with a multitude of emotions. Usually, Ron could read those hazel eyes so easily, now they were murky, the messages undecipherable. He felt a fury mount within him.

"Well, fuck you too!" Green eyes met hazel eyes. Their emotions smoldering between them caused an almost palpable tension. Anger, fear, frustration, pain collided and crushed in the space surrounding them. Seconds passed, almost a minute. Evan broke the gaze, reached for his jacket and tie and headed for the door.