"The alex series" book 2: Sweet Subjugation
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Chapter 80. Drama everywhere
brandon holds Michael until he calms down. "I just finished telling Alan that I'm not going to keep seeing Him for a while. It was good for me to have some distance from the whole situation. I actually ended up driving home on Monday and not staying with Him any longer. The last time I was with Him He freaked me out.
"Why? What Happened?
"Well, as soon as I got there Friday night, He shaved me again, made me take a shower. Then He made me kneel in front of Him and jerk off while He talked to me and was really getting me turned on. Then He told me that when I was ready to cum, I should cum on His feet. Not too weird, right?"
"No. Just surprised that He allowed you to jerk off so soon. I never get to."
"Well, as soon as I shot my load, He told me that He's sick of so-called subs who want to give up as soon as they cum. So He wants to see how I perform after I cum. So the first thing He wants me to do is to lick up my cum from off His feet."
"Wow. That's quite a test. Were you able to do it?"
"Yes. Really grossed out, though. After that He took out a bunch of clothespins and, get this, he had me put them on myself wherever he told me. Then He had me suck His cock for a while, and kept me going down far. Said He wanted to hear me gag."
"Master loves it when I gag for Him."
"But then he forced my head all the way down so He could hear me choke. And I kept panicking and He's let me off, but then started slapping my face until I went back down again, and we did it over and over again until I thought I was gonna vomit. Then we started with the plugs, and I told you before that He likes to watch me do it to myself. More of the same But then, He takes out this flogger and handed it to me, and ordered me to flog myself over my back and to make sure I did it good and hard. And He kept slapping my face and urging me on, harder, harder, harder. I was actually making myself cry out it was so hard. Then took a picture and showed it to me so I could see the welts. Then more time back on His cock, the same way.
"Wow. I've tried to whip myself sometimes but I could never do it very rough."
"I've never done it before and it was far worse than Him doing it to me. He digs the humiliation. And, except for slapping my face, He never put a hand on me."
"And when he forced your mouth down His cock."
"oh yeah, that too. Then we tried a bigger plug. I begged Him to let me take off the clothespins but He said I could only take off two. So I took off the ones that hurt the most. But they all hurt at this point."
"I know from sad experience. He's been using them to punish me lately instead of the strap."
"But then He made me crawl around the house and that was making my balls hurt even worse and I was practically crying. Finally, He orders me to stand up and put my hands behind my head, and He just sits back and watches me. Just watches as the pain started to get worse and finally I was crying. Then He took a riding crop and hit the clothespins off me and now I was screaming."
"I hope He did something to help with the pain."
"Nope. He finally said to me, "That's all I want from you today. Go home. I'll let you know when I want you again."
"Weird. Frustrating. Doesn't sound like you really enjoyed it all that much."
"No, not much. The humiliation for sure. But the weirdness of it all and the self-inflicted pain was awful. And the way He was making me suck His cock started out to be fun but that wore off after about the second time. And, of course, the worst part was the way He dismissed me and the timing. I mean, I was expecting some kind of reward, or praise, but there was absolutely none of that. It was totally impersonal." I know that he's quiet and shy when we've gone anywhere, but this scene was off the charts and cold as hell. And the WORST THING is that I'm starting to get turned on thinking about what happened even though it wasn't getting to me at the time."
"Yeesh. He's conditioning you so that you'll really get into it more next time."
"If there is a next time."
"You think . . . "
"It was just good to be home, as strange at that sounds. My parents really made a fuss over me; they're pleased with my grades and I told them a little bit about meeting you and how well we get along. I didn't say anything about Alan or Craig or anything that happened. They wanted to know if I was dating anyone, and I told them that I'm just concentrating on my classes and don' t have much time to get involved with any girls. At least that wasn't a lie!"
They both laugh a bit.
"So no girls for you, Michael? I can deal with that."
"Well maybe no boys either. I'm not like you, brandon—or maybe it's just that I'm not lucky like you, finding someone you're already committed to, someone who apparently really whipped your ass today, boy. Tell me what's going on?"
"Funny story. We stopped for gas, and this guy pulled up on a motorcycle. I only had a pair of shorts on and was pumping the gas for Master, and thy guy got wind of the fact that we're an M/s couple. He's also a Dom and invited us back to His house to show us His dungeon. I was due to be punished, and Master decided to do it right there rather than wait until we got back here. It was really hard—well, you can see the results after a few hours have gone by. Damn, I'm still very much in sub space, feeling more like a slave than ever, and happier than ever too."
"You look it, buddy. Anyway, how was your visit home and how was the wedding?" . . .
And they spend the rest of the time before going so sleep talking about brandon's time at home and what's going on with Justin. All Michael could say was that it was good for him to be away and unconnected to Alan or anyone else. "I realized as soon as Alan came in that He was going to want to start all over again with me. He managed to get me to strip, but after that, all of a sudden, I said to myself `I'm not going to go through that again,' and so I told Him that I changed my mind and I'm not sure I want to be with him any longer, that I need to sort some things out.' And I figured that He'd be understanding about it, but not really. "Typical sub," He said to me, and got up and was just walking out when you came in the door."
"Typical sub?" What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I think it's an insult. But then I wouldn't be surprised that any subs He's played with would give up like I did."
"Maybe you're not meant to be a sub."
"It's not that, brandon. I know I'm sub. Some of the stuff with Alan were turn-ons at first but He kept getting weirder and weirder and I think that's His actual personality. No wonder no one sticks around. And damn, in public He is sweet, and polite, and even gentle. No. From now on I'm just going to be a slut. Don't want to be connected, or committed, or whatever it is that you are. And if you spend more time with someone, you might discover things about them that you really didn't want to have to deal with or even know."
"Well you know, Michael, you can be a sub without having to be a slave."
"What's the difference?"
"I guess I'd say for myself that I started just as a sub with Justin, but, like you said, if you hang around more you start to discover things as stuff gets deeper. Well yes. And they did get deeper. And they keep on getting deeper. And the deeper they get, the more peaceful inside I get. Nothing's scared me away yet and I don't think nothing ever will. I'm His. Totally. That's the difference. Once it get intense, either you become His slave or you walk away. A slave has gotten more intense already and likes it. Needs it. Even. Like me.-----And, spending 10 days together was so intense. I didn't get tired of it or bored. I'm letting Justin push me a lot, more than I ever thought I would. It's a relationship, Michael. Maybe that's what the difference is. You've never told me much about what's been going on with Alan other than the fact that He's got a smooth style."
"Yeah, it's smooth all right. But I decided it's cold, brandon. That's all I can say. I let Him do things to me and I like most of it. I do whatever He tells me to do and that's cool. But when I was home I realized that I didn't miss him at all. Oh, sure, I missed the sex somewhat, but when I was home I didn't even jerk off all week while I had my freedom. Hey, maybe it's me that's cold."
"Michael, the last thing you are is cold, dude. Stop trying to approach this as if something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You and I are different. You don't' need to end up like me. Damn, you're a college freshman. Most of the guys here aren't paired off with anyone, even the straight guys. Just be a freshman. Have whatever fun you want. But if something happens, if something really clicks, if someone manages to control you and you get into it, fine. But it's also fine to be single."
"Do you ever think of that, think of what it would be like if you were single?"
"no. Never. I am where I need to be. I'm becoming what I need to be. Justin's slave. Justin's lover. Even Justin's boyfriend if you want to think of it that way. But that's ME. Not you."
"Maybe I should try Grindr. Or call Andy."
"Won't hurt. And I'm sure that if you call Andy, one way or another He'll help you come to terms with what happened. "
"That's right. You were kind of attached to Gary and then you came here planning to be a slut, finding places to hook up, and immediately, you connected with Justin and that's the end of the story for you."
"Or the beginning of the rest of my life, and I hope that's going to be true."
"Well I'm happy we're back and I'm happy for you, and I appreciate that you don't look at me like there's something wrong with me."
"there's nothing wrong with you, dude. You're a single sub slut and that's the way it's going to be for the indefinite future. And by the way, if you want to have a good time, tell Pablo you'll give him a blow job. He's got strong Dom tendencies."
Talk winds down and they both end up going to bed, ready to begin the next phase of their semester.
THE NEXT MORNING
Michael has an early class so he's up and out the door before brandon even wakes up. But he'd been showered the night before so he just brushes his teeth and puts on something and goes down to the caf to the Rainbow Table, and Jonny's sitting there alone and they say `hi'.
"Michael, I've got ask you something, okay?"
"Sure, Jonny. What?"
"How did you know you were going to be a sub?"
"Just always thought that way, Jonny, and when I first heard the word sub I realized that described me. Simple for me. But not always that simple for everyone. Everyone is different. Why? What's going on? Oh, if you don't want to tell me that's fine."
"no, it's just that . . . I went to Andy like you suggested to learn how to spank by getting one, and I did. and now I can't stop thinking about it. I want it more. This is the opposite of what I thought would be going on."
"Sometimes we surprise ourselves, Jonny. But we all have different interests and feelings. Just trust your gut, Jonny. What's it telling you?"
"Maybe I should call Andy . . or Justin."
"If you call Justin he'll probably tell you to call Andy. So call Andy. Don't be afraid to tell him exactly what's going on."
brandon leaves to go to classes. He's done by 11:30 and goes back to his room to start his email to Justin, which he has to send by the end of the day.
dear Master,
I am Your slave even when I'm not with You. It feels strange in the dorm since everyone is Superior to me and already last night on my way in a couple guys started making fun of me being naked and then when they saw Your slave's ass, they freaked out! One of them made me get down on the ground and crawl to my room. yup. dorm slave.
Michael needed to talk and all I could think of is how lucky I am not having to be like the other freshmen, unattached, or single-they call is- roaming around, wondering if anything will ever happen and Your slave doesn't need to do that. Thank You, Master, for locking that bathroom door that night to test out a freshman twink. None of that searching and doubting for me. Now all there is is obeying. But, of course, I have to play a "normal" role here at school. At least in classes. I keep thinking of two things especially. 1) The hotel waiter and how much You show me to him and tell him what we are, and then his boyfriend too. They were both very curious. And You made me stay naked in front of them. and then, 2) everything at Master Kevin's place, even having to eat rice soaking in spit. Haha!
I also saw Jonny and it seems that he wants another spanking from Andy. Ironic. Karma. I hope he gets everything he needs, and I'm not being sarcastic. I remember how long it took for me to finally get a spanking after wanting it for years. (I'm talking about high school!). Fortunately, along with the spanking came a whole lot of other things even better than a spanking. Like simply lying in Your arms and drinking from Your mouth. And knowing how much You love me, not only as Your slave but as me, simply. Everyone at the wedding was so impressed with You and the way You blended right into the family. A couple of them asked why You and I were dressed alike and I answered, proudly, "because we're a couple." That's all they needed to know, and I'm sure word got around quickly enough because no one else asked me. This is the first time I've ever said that we were a `couple,' but would try to find awkward ways to answer. And also as I said those words I was able to think in my head also "I'm his slave" and it didn't matter that people didn't know that. I know that and You know that and that's all that matters.
I'm going to close for now because I need to get lunch before my next class (Prof. Keaton's) and I'm sure He'll have a lot of questions, so I'll write again right after supper the latest.
. . .
I'm back again, Master. Had just a piece of pizza for dinner. Not hungry. Keaton's class was fun, as usual. A lot of people in the class talked about Thanksgiving and I talked about my mother's wedding!!! Which got lots and lots of questions and comments. One of the kids asked if my new stepfather knew I was gay and would he accept it. I was happy to answer, his brother is gay so he's very okay with it! That shut them up. One of the guys broke up with his high school girlfriend when he was home cause he found out she was cheating. He's really bummed about that. Hmm, I wonder, what would be "cheating" in our relationship? Is Your slave cheating when it services guys in school who ask for it? You don't need to worry about cheating on me because if You needed to get something outside of us' I would understand because there's a lot of things You used to enjoy that You don't get to do anymore. (Unless You can figure out a way to get me into a club.)
I'm rambling on. After class, Professor wanted to see the state of my ass, so I stripped for Him in His office, but He kept the door shut and locked for a change. He looked and said He hoped that whipping would have an effect on my behavior with You. "It is, Sir, a lot," I answered, figuring that if He wanted to know more He has Your number. He asked about the wedding and how things are going between me and my new step-father (wonderful!) and I told him about Barry's brother even being in the scene and the Professor was delighted to hear that and laughed His head off. "Boy oh boy, boy, things sometimes always seem to fit themselves together for you. You must have a powerful Guardian Angel." I thanked him. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to believe in Guardian Angels now that I'm not Catholic any more.
On, right after I got back from class there was knock on the door and it was Austin, so horny He was actually holding His cock, coming to beg for a blow job, so I took care of him because You had already given permission to Him for any time. His cum was dripping down from my mouth, there was so much of it. He's so cool, He took out His own handkerchief to wipe it from my mouth and lips. What a gentleman! Just like my Daddy—oh, I mean, Step-Daddy!
Now that Thanksgiving is over with and there are already Christmas songs playing, I'm thinking of Christmas and what it will be like to meet Your Father, and I hope He'll like me, and how much does He know about you, or you and me, or, whatever? Sometime new to get anxious about now. I'm not worried about my classes at all. Pretty sure I have A's in everything. I have two more papers to write and then exams that are required. A couple of my classes said I don't need to take the final because I already have A's.
Over break I'd like to try to write a short story. Something simple and clean and happy. Or maybe it would be better for me to write about gay kids and what they go through. What do You think, Master?
I didn't see Michael at dinner but he just came in and he told me he called Andy and Andy is taking him out to dinner tonight so they can talk (and I bet he'll get a spanking). I'm glad he called. I had to talk him into it. He doesn't really get just how cool Andy is and wise and caring (towards me anyway).
I hope You've had a nice day, Master. It must have been a relief that You didn't have to be dealing with a slave for a change.
xxoo
brandon, slave of Justin