Disclaimer: Do I even have to say that, Dean, Sam, and John are owned by the WB, the CW, and Warner.
Author's note: This is the end of the first Arc. In most of my stories, number ten is always the arc ender, but I wanted this one to be short and to the point. Sorry for the lack of action, but it's more about the interaction between them. There is a really neat connection with the next arc in here. There are alot. Enjoy and feel free to comment.
Chapter 10: The 180
There wasn't much I could say...Since I'd been with Dean and Sam-not with as in...I meant on the road with them, not that it was only them, I was with John too...on the road. Ahem! Moving on, since I had been on the road with them, there had been one mistake after another. Then again, I'm not sure they're mistakes. All I asked for is that I be able to see and deal with what was happening at the moment. I know, long shot, right? Demons and monsters...death. Who ever sees that coming? Then there is the triangle. That dumb triangle. I'm torn for my love for Sam and Dean's apparent crush on me. Dean was okay after the school, as a matter of fact he and Sam were planning their next hunt, that combined with the abundance of demon attacks on us, made Dean feel more at home. The hunt was about some kind of affection, but I wasn't to keen on the details, nor was I interested in going. I felt that I'd recieve my own visitor shortly and I wasn't in a hurry to tell Sam or Dean. I was strapping my knife to the bottom of the sink when I heard the floorboard creek.
" I thought you guys were supposed to be gone." I said, trying to hide my nervousness.
Dean coughed and stepped closer, " Hey. I see you're...um, strapping a knife to the sink. What's that about? Leaving it for the next hunters with a ki..." he trailed off.
I finished and got to my feet, " Yeah. It's for protection. So..." I said, unsure of what to say.
He looked down, then back at me, " Never was good at these types of things. It was always ahh, now get out." he joked, but I didn't laugh, " Don't be nervous about what happened. You're hot and the absolute first guy I ever thought about like I do. It's weird. You just standing there in those gym pants and t-shirt is turning me on." He smiled quickly.
I nodded and showed the shock on my face, " Dean." I said weakly, " I can't do this. I'm...and you're...we're..." I stammered, but then I stopped when Dean shoved his tongue down my throat. I fought for a minute, then gave in, again.
When we finally broke apart, Dean said, " I know you feel it." he said carefully. He spoke so genuinely, without joking or anything and it made me feel calm.
" I can't handle this. Not now." I said, walking to the main room. I sat on the bed, my head resting between my hands.
Dean walked over and crouched in front of me, " What? Are you screwing someone else?" he joked. He smiled until he saw my face and then the situation got really serious.
I was silent for a moment and he sat on the bed beside me, " That's why I can't handle this. I have my own demons, plus my demon ex trying to trap me wherever I go and then there is S....omeone new and now you confess that you want me. I'm not sure how to deal with it all." I said quietly.
Dean put his arm around my shoulder, obviously not sure what to do, " Sorry. Look, I'm just putting it out there. I know how hard it is to resist me, but I'll try to tone it down." Dean smiled.
" Nice" I smiled, " The world is ending, isn't it?" I asked, causing him to chuckle, but I persisted, " No, seriously, the world is about to end, right?" I asked.
He hopped up and headed for the door, " I hope not. I still have to work on the impala." he smiled, heading out the door. I smiled and headed for the bathroom, but stopped before I got there at the sound of a knock at the door.
" Come in." I said quickly. A moment after I said so, Sam stumbled into the room, " Sam...I have to tell you something..." I said carefully. The sight of him made me think and feel so much guilt. I remembered the first time we'd fought.
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Flashback
" Dean, I'm trusting you with Sam and Chalis, don't let me down." John said, nodding to Dean.
" I will dad." said a seventeen year-old Dean to his father. He glanced over at fourteen year-old Sam sitting on the sofa, doing homework, while seven year-old Chalis watched Bugs Bunny on t.v.
" Where are you going, dad?" sam asked, looking up from his self-imposed homework.
" I'm going on a little hunt with Mr. Davis and Mr. Harvelle. We should be back soon, but until then, Dean is in charge." John explained to Sam, who nodded. John smiled and moved to Chalis, " How are you doing, champ?" he asked.
Young Chalis broke his gaze from Bugs and Daffy to look at John, " Uncle John, something bad is going to happen." he said gravely.
John grimaced, " I promise nothing bad will happen, okay buddy." John smiled.
" If you say so, Unc." Chalis said, turning back to the t.v. John thought about the words for a minute, then got up and walked to the door. He exited swiftly, making sure no one knew that a seventeen year-old, a fourteen year-old, and a seven year-old were left alone.
" So, what do you want to do, Chalis?" Dean asked, searching the room, " You wanna color?" he smirked.
Chalis shook his head.
" Dean, he's seven, no five." Sam said impatiently.
" Wanna play gameboy?" Dean asked.
Chalis shook his head.
Dean sighed, " Sam, some help. I'm dying here." he joked.
Sam put down his book and pencil and looked at Dean, " Why don't you just watch t.v. with him?" he said quickly.
" Well, smartass, I have to keep his little mind stimulated." Dean said in a condescending tone.
Chalis heard this and turned around, frowning at them, " Little? Do I look like Baby Spice? I'm pretty much old enough to watch myself, I don't know why I had to have a babysitter anyways. You two should be the ones with a babysitter. Maybe that's why I'm here, to babysit you." he said, causing Dean and Sam's eyebrows to raise instantly.
" Where'd you learn to talk like that?" Sam asked, looking as if Chalis had calculated a very hard mathematical expression.
" I'm gonna be a hunter when I grow up. So are you and you." Chalis said quickly.
" First, I'm going to be a doctor...and second, yeah, I can see you driving on a stack of phonebooks and killing evil demons with water guns." Sam joked, causing both him and Dean to laugh.
" Yeah, I can see you too, beware the wicked retainer. By the way, you've got something green in your teeth, captain loser." Chalis smirked.
Dean smiled, " The kid is funny. I could see him hunting with us." he said, still laughing.
" With you? Hard to see you hunting...what ever will become of your babysitting gig?" Chalis said, this time making himself laugh.
" That's not nice." Sam said.
" The world isn't a nice place." Chalis argued.
" You're a kid, how would you know?" Sam shot back.
" A kid, why do you keep saying that?!" Chalis shouted.
" It's true." Sam shouted back.
" You guys." Dean started, but he was met with a "SHUT UP!" from both of them.
" You're so childish, grow up!" Sam shouted at Chalis.
Chalis stared at him, " I'm seven, dumb dumb." he said, walking into the bedroom and slamming the door in their faces.
Flashback
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Dean, Sam, and I sat in the hotel room. sam was silent, as were Dean and I, then he spoke, " So, you and Dean were...'together' behind my back? You cheated on me with my brother?" he asked in disbelief.
" Hello Jerry Springer." Dean said, desperate to break the tension.
I shook my head, " No! When we were alone in the building after the demon got away, we kissed. Afterward, we talked and I told him that I was dating somebody and...and..." I said slowly, noticing the looked of disbelief on his face, " You don't believe me, do you? You don't trust me at all." I said simply.
" Actually, I don't. Why didn't you tell me that this happened?" Sam asked.
Dean sighed, " Why tell you about a kiss that was in the heat of the moment?" he asked.
" But...you said you talked about it afterward. It had to have some impact on you both." Sam said suspiciously.
I laughed in disbelief, " Is there anything I could say to make you see that I love you and nobody else?" I asked.
" What? This isn't abou..." Sam started, but interrupted.
" From the beginning, you couldn't muster up enough trust to belief what I said. I told you that I love you and yet...You don't love me, do you?" I asked, realizing the truth.
" Me? Not love you, when you're the one who cheated?" He quaked.
" Guys. We just need to..." Dean started.
" SHUT UP!" we both said. " How about I make it easier on you. I'm leaving." I said simply.
Sam looked at me in shock, " What?! What are you saying?" he muttered.
" You and Dean are going on your hunt and when you get back, I won't be here." I said in utter frustration.
Dean moved closer, " Let's just take a deep breath. we can work this out." he said quickly.
" Dean, can you stay out of this? Haven't you helped enough?" Sam sneered.
I looked at him angrily, " Don't say that to him! He...we didn't even do anything and for you to make it any other way shows that you don't know me at all and that this relationship was hyst something to occupy your time. You still haven't gotten over..." I said, but stopped.
" Don't you dare say her name!" Sam said, " What about Andrew?" he replied.
I put my head down, " Jessica." I said quietly.
" I'm so sick of your immature, dumbass comments and your childish attitude! Can't you just grow up? Can't you be..." Sam said, causing a sense of Deja Vu to sweep across us all.
" I can't be her." I said, walking to the bed and picking up the bags I had to go on the next hunt, then walked to the door, " But you're right." I said weakly.
Sam looked resentful and walked to me, " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just got so mad when I found out about you and Dean's kiss and..." he trailed off. A tear fell from my eye and I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I turned from him and walked out the door.
" Why'd you have to go and say all that?!" Dean asked furiously.
Sam walked over and sat on the bed, " Not now, Dean." he said, disgusted with himself.
" Why aren't you going after him! We need to..." Dean said, gesturing at the door.
Sam looked up at Dean, " Maybe if you hadn't had to kiss my..." but he stopped.
" Bullshit." Dean said, causing Sam to pay attention, " What? You're what? Can you even say it?" Dean asked.
" He's better off without me...and you...and away from this life." Sam said angrily.
Dean shook his head, " You mean like you tried to do? What about all the demons out there, trying to kill us and him?! You're pushing someone away because you can't move pas the...past. Do you not get that the 'Demon' will find him and when he does, he's going to make Chalis his bitch!" Dean shouted. Sam didn't say a word, he just got up and left with his bag. Dean shook his head and sat on the bed quietly. I had already found a ride out. I planned to go to the Roadhouse, then play it by ear. I felt as if I had been betrayed in the worst possible way and I shuddered to think of how much guilt I felt for an innocent kiss. Maybe the kiss wasn't 'so' innocent, but nothing came from it. I thought about how much I wanted Sam to say it was okay, but he never did. He was going to solve some mystery about some infection or sumerians or croations...and I was left alone, once again, to figure out where I belonged in the world. I had an idea where to start, as I'd been studying the cult from the barn and what Andrew had brought to Earth, but I didn't know alot on it. Soon, I would. I stared around the cab of the truck, seeing a cup, with what looked like blood, but I put it out of my mind and dismissed it as beer and looked out of the window.
" So, where you goin?" The truck driver asked.
I smiled, " Home." I said hopefully.