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Sublimation- Chapter 2
"GET OUT OF MY CLASS! AND DON'T COME BACK!" Mrs. Ernst shouted as she booted Andy from her classroom. After she slammed the door and headed back towards the front of her room with her back turned, Andy came up to the window. He made a fist with one hand and gyrated it at the side of his face, rolling his eyes, moaning and expanding the side of his mouth opposite his hand in synch with the motions. The class erupted in a riot of laughter, and Andy shot out of there before the teacher could collect her wits and figure out what everyone was laughing about.
"This is the second time you've dropped a class this year, Mr. Radke. You're pretty lucky- this was the last day to do so without an automatic F. What's your story?" Andy was sitting across from Ms. West, his counselor, trying to see if he could get a good elective class to replace Mrs. Ernst's anal version of pottery. Ms. West was one of the few administrators in school that he didn't mind. She had a good sense of humor and had never been cross towards him. He decided there was no reason he shouldn't just be honest. "I couldn't stand the bitch. It's bad enough I have to spend most of my day here, much less put up with people who are a complete waste of time. Electives are supposed to be fun." "Did you even give her a chance?" He was silent on the question. She sighed and called up his schedule on the computer. "6th period right?" "Yeah, that's it" She punched a few more keys and checked the records, grimacing a bit as she scanned through the class files available. "Looks like you're out of luck" "Oh come on! There's gotta be some elective class left!" he groaned She considered a response. "Well, there is. but you're not gonna like it" "What is it?" "Choir" "Choir! Are you serious?! Only fags join choir! I'd never be able to hold my head up around here!" "Well, considering you're 7 feet tall, that's not such a problem now is it?" Ms. West laughed. Andy scowled at her, but she just smiled. "Seriously. You're the person who has to worry about your reputation the least. Nobody would harass you about one little elective that 'you got stuck with'. Besides, you being such an athlete, I think I'm sure you've got lifetime membership in the jock association, eh?" Andy gave her once of his looks- he was sick of being stuck in the stereotype. She blanked her face and stared back. For a moment there was silence. Ms. West leaned towards Andy, and began to softly sing. "Macho macho man. I've got to be... a macho man." It was too funny. Andy broke out laughing and Ms. West laughed along with him. "You lose! Or win. Depends on what you do with the situation. Give it a shot, will ya?" Andy smiled, completing her victory. "Allright, allright. I'll check it out. I'm sure not going back to Mrs. Ernst" She wrote up a class switch form for him. "Now get out of here, ya little shit" she teased as she handed him the form.
Andy entered the Music Ed corridor with a paranoid eye but a hopeful heart. There seemed to be a very comfortable feel to the place, unlike most of the school. On his right were two individual piano rooms. In front of him was a messy office. The entrances to the choir and orchestra rooms were set diagonal to the hall. The room on the left caught his eye. It had an old comfy looking couch set and was decorated with posters filled with pictures. Andy walked in and lay down on the couch. It felt great. "It'd be nice if the students could use these" he thought to himself- he was sure it was another lounge reserved for teachers, cofee and complaining.
The posters were asking to be examined with all their bright colors and random photos, so Andy took a closer look. One photo showed a dressed up guy and girl singing as they danced ballroom style. "How could they wear that shit?" he thought. Another photo showed a group hug at a sunny locale. The fact that Mickey Mouse was part of the group tipped off the location. "Buncha toddlers" Andy lectured himself. Other photos showed the band in marching season, the choir arrayed in their gowns clapping and singing, and the orchestra fiddling away. One photo in particular stood out. At first Andy thought it was some kind of joke photo; something accidently shot inside a pocket. But the darkness was deliberate upon inspection. It was a night photo of a group of kids, each holding a candle and singing. Their faces were solemn. What was this photo doing up here with the others? "Weird" he concluded.
The final bell rang and Andy watched kids pile out of the hall, laughing and talking. Then, to his surprise, a group of kids walked into the lounge. They stopped when they saw Andy. He recognized a few of them as past victims of his aggression. Andy felt their eyes bore into him. Some were eyes of confusion, some of fear, a few of anger. "Assholes" he thought to himself. He tried to look back with equal offence, trying to best them in gaze. Finally, one of the girls spoke. "What are you doing in here?" "This is still a public school isn't it? I'm just looking around" he retorted. To affirm this, he turned back to the poster. "So, this is what people who can't get laid do for fun, huh?" "It's more fun than you have. We care about more than getting drunk or wearing A&F" Andy pointed to the candlelit picture. "What's this?" "That was Sarah's funeral" "Aw, what happened? Did she drop dead from loss of social life? Did her flute get stuck up her pussy? Hehehehe. The girl slapped Andy smartly across his face. "Don't you ever talk that way about Sarah again! I'm not afraid of you! - You're nothing but hot air and bullshit!" One of the guys in the group put his hand on her shoulder as tears began to leak from her eyes. "Come on Zoe. Remember what Seth told us: If you're gonna sink to his level, you might as well bow down. Let's take a breather". The group headed out the door. "Yeah, you're gonna need a breather, considering you BLOW so hard!" Andy yelled after them. One girl from the group remained as the others left. "How can you be so cruel?" she asked. "Oh quit whining. Life is cruel- I'm just here to train you for it". The girl shook her head and followed out the door.
Andy sat back down on the sofa, as if assuming the throne of a defeated enemy. Weak. These kids were all so weak. Bambis are bound to get run over. And besides, they had passed their verdict on him the moment they had entered the room. He was just defending himself. He was sure that if their thoughts could touch him, they'd knife him. "I don't care about any of you. You all want to murder me because you don't have what I do. This whole school would murder me if they could". It was a painful thing to say outloud, but Andy felt this was the way things worked if you wanted to be in charge. He lay back down on his throne, and for the first time in years began to wonder if it was all worth it to feel like you had life by the balls.
Andy was about to close his eyes when he heard piano music begin from across the hall. Andy rarely listened to any music other than rap, as it was expected of him. But this music was calling him in an unexpected way. He rose and walked across the hall to the window of the piano room, so he could hear better and see just who was playing. The melody was beautiful. It was both sad and yet full of joy. It stirred emotions inside him that he had long forgotten about. Andy peered in the window at the piano room. Before him was Seth, seated at the piano, happily playing away. Andy turned away for a minute. He wanted to just walk away. In the last few days, he had met Seth occasionaly at their locker. He had tried to be nasty and condescending towards him, but it seemed to have no effect. It was just as well; Andy was beginning to feel like he didn't want to hurt Seth. It didn't make any sense the way Seth behaved- he had still been so friendly to him despite his own attitude. Andy had concluded that he was just too polite to share his thoughts, which he was sure were hateful on the inside. Still, he couldn't resist looking back in on him. It was an opportunity to get a really good look at him and to try and figure out what it was about him that made Andy's heart skip a beat every time he saw him.
Seth's fingers moved gracefully across the keys as he played. He seemed totally entranced in the emotional piece. Andy stared at the beauty of his form- the shirt that tapered perfectly across him, the gentle lines of his muscles, and the smooth tranquility in his face. Seth closed his eyes as he played a certain section of the piece, and swayed slightly. Andy was so lost in watching him, he didn't notice the chemicals at work in his body. His soft penis grew erect as he watched Seth's movement. Andy was filled with a longing inside him- one that he didn't understand and that was starting to scare him.
Seth finished the piece with a beautful and emotional crescendo. Andy thought about leaving, but reconsidered. Why should he, of all people, be worried about a guy like Seth? Thus resolved, he stood his ground. Seth turned to leave and, contrary to Andy's expectations, looked excited when he saw him. "Andy! Were you listening while I played?" "Yeah... I overheard it in the lounge" "What did you think?" "It's okay," he answered, being careful not to be too excited. "What's that piece called?" "It's called 'Nice to Meet You'. It's by a Greek guy named Yanni." Seth informed him. Andy leaned back against the wall, trying to relax. "When did you learn to play the piano?" he asked "I taught myself from a few books back when I used to live with my dad. We had an old one that was a real lifesaver at times" Seth looked down as he spoke of the past. "It's nice to be able to play again". Andy felt that he needed to let Seth know that he was on his field. His mind told him that he had to prove he was just as strong; his heart whispered of more personal matters. "You know Seth" he began, "my dad was a real asshole too. I dealt with it pretty different than you I guess. I fought him- literally. At first I would usually lose, but as I got older I was able to reel him with a few blows of my own. Our last night the fighting got so bad the neighbors called the police. I've been living with my gramma ever since. So... I don't know... I can relate? Maybe?" Seth was quiet, looking introspective. "Yeah, you certainly relate differently" he chuckled. "Still, it is nice to have someone who understands. Thanks. I know it must be a pain to bring it up" "Well, I think you're worth it" Seth smiled. "That's the first real nice thing you've said to me" Andy was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "So, you take any music classes?". "Uh huh" Seth nodded. "I'm in choir". "Really" Andy noted. "I was. thinking about transfering in to it. Don't tell anyone though" Seth got ecstatic. "Andy! That's great! We really need more guys!" "There he goes being all cute again" Andy thought. "You're gonna love it! We go on trips, we sing all sorts of stuff, and you learn so much..." "Jeez Seth, don't have an orgasm" Seth laughed. "Allright. I'm just really glad you're gonna be with us" "Ha... you're probably the only one" "Then I guess you'll just have to change their minds then, huh?" Seth proposed. Andy wondered to himself how he was strong enough to bench twice his weight but felt so weak when it came to people skills. This whole choir thing seemed to be a Pandora's box of muck to deal with. Normally, he wouldn't go for the effort. But for Seth, the magnet-man, he wouldn't hesitate to do it.