Straight best mate - Part 5
Update - 5th Jan
Hi all. Thanks again for reading. I'm afraid this may well be the last part of my story/diary. A couple of days ago me and Jake sat down and had a chat.
He told me he was not sure if he wanted to "do it" again because he wanted to fully commit to his gf. I was shaking inside, but did not let him see how hurt and disappointed I was. It would make him feel bad and probably scare him too much if he realised how much I really felt for him.
We talked for a while and we agreed to keep things normal between us and that nothing needs to change. Although he doesn't admit it often, he does enjoy our little sofa sessions and the massages he gets from me. But its when his cock gets involved that things "seem wrong" as he's in a relationship.
I told him that the last I was going to say on the matter was that if he ever changes his mind and get in the mood, then he just needs to let me know.
Its possible he may get horny one night and may start something, but it's a long shot and I've decided not to wait for it. if it comes, then its comes (no pun intended!)
I'm gutted beyond words and can only just keep from losing it with him. I want to scream at him that there was obviously something there between us, and that he is making excuses. He cheats on his girlfriend often because he is not content and that she isn't enough for him. I want to make him see that I would be the perfect distraction!!! Lol Whenever he was feeling horny, he could use me to vent rather than go pull some random bird!
But I won't have a go at him. I won't suggest being his personal sex toy! He's just too damned important to me to do that. So I'll remain here wishing to hold him again, but having to settle for sofa time.
I am still glad it happened, even though its messing with me now, I know that soon I will be able to deal with my frustration by having a nice wank while remembering our two fun sessions together.
So that's it for now. Unless my fans really kick off about it, I don't plan on writing anything more for now. If things change or I need to vent, then maybe I'll post again.
Thanks again for reading and for the many emails I have had. Some short and to the point, others sharing their experience and lending an ear. or eye!
Thanks again!
Gaverage