Hi guys (& girls maybe!)
This story could be gay (two guys) in nature, so if that offends you or you are not old enough to read this, then hit the "back" button and leave! This story is my real life, with names changed of course!
Thanks for all the comments regarding part 1. They made it easy to find the time to write part 2.
What I'm going to try and do is catch you all up on the last few months (in this part) then I'll do a post each time I have an interesting update to give. This will become my own diary, and I'll share with you lot for fun. If nothing happens worth noting I may just post a fantasy or two (I'll make it clear which posts as real and which are not).
Hope that's ok, but it's my therapy!
Gaverage
Part 2 - Little Things
Ok so a few months ago I got to briefly feel Jake's semi/hard cock through his boxers. There was a period of "non-contact" shall we say. During this time we didn't seem the same, it was egg shells and it was a drain for both of us I think. I'd also remind you that as far as the rest of the world is concerned I'm 100% straight, Jake included (until recently).
A couple of months ago, Jake was on the computer (the very one I'm using now). By complete accident he came across some files I had moved onto a different hard drive. Now when I say files, what I really mean is porn, gay porn. Plus some videos/pics of me that I decided to play around with on XTube and the like). When I moved them, I was living alone and it did not occur to me that anyone who was logged on to the PC could look at them.. Suffice it to say, I forgot about the files until Jake found them and spoke to his ex-girlfriend about them (I am good friends with her). Jake was freaked out a bit and needed to talk to someone (his words). As bad luck would have it, she mentioned it to her partner, who let it slip a while later while pissed. suddenly my world was falling apart.
Bob (someone I really don't like), was the one to burst my bubble. While waiting for Jake to have a bath, some of his/our mates were waiting outside having a smoke/drink. Bob (one of Jake's mates) started doing his normal piss take attitude and we had a little play wrestle. When I beat him he was not too happy and was obviously not willing to start a real fight. Instead he blurted out something that at the time made me laugh because it seemed so random (a blessing because I really looked genuine when I said "what the fu*k are you on about"!).
They all left and it was about 1 hour later that it hit me. What he had said was a description of one of "my" own personal videos (masturbation in the shower), plus something about gay porn.
I honestly thought about dying that night. I went to the PC and copied Jake's user account and logged on (to see what Jake could see with his access permissions). There it was. Totally unsecured and accessible.
Panic set in. For a couple of days I had to ignore Jake. I thought he had told people. I felt so betrayed. Eventually we agreed to go for a drive and a chat. He knew by this point what I was angry about.
Jake explained that when Bob said what he did, he was totally shocked (I remember seeing shock at the time, but thought it was for a different reason). He explained that he stumbled on them while looking for space to save his music. He was freaked and spoke to his ex and so on and so forth. He didn't know other people knew and I guess it was one of those rumours that did not go very far, because people were scared of losing their jobs. they nearly all work at my restaurant (not the twat that blurted it out though.)
I felt I had no choice but to come clean with Jake. Not 100% mind you, I didn't tell him how I feel about him personally.
I told him how I had known for a while I was Bi or at least Curious. That I had never been with a guy, but like to watch some porn every now and again (bit of an understatement!) and that I made a couple of anonymous videos for a bit of fun.
He was really sorry and scared. I can be (on occasion) played like most people, but it takes a very good actor to get me fooled. Jake honestly felt bad, I could see it in his eyes. He was scared that I would not forgive him and he was upset for seeing me so upset and hurt.
What I done next was perhaps (ok, it WAS) desperate. I was not ready to come out to the world as Bi or even Curious. I have not done anything and until I'm ready, I don't want no bugger knowing my business, even those I'm close to.
I made it clear to Jake that he was going to have to help clean this mess up and that he was going to look like a real bastard if this worked. allow me to explain..
Than plan was simple (or not). Jake would go to his ex and explain what had happened. act outraged at the fact that not only had she told her partner, but that it had then spread. He was then to tell her that he had made the whole thing up and that he was pissed off at me and wanted to cause me some shit (this had the virtue of being a little true as at the time there was a work dispute going on and me and Jake were fighting a bit!). He then went and told the same story to everyone who knew about my video/porn collection. Because I acted so surprised when Bob first said what he did, Jake told people that I didn't know he had "lied" about the video/porn and that he didn't want me to find out.
I was not overly sure it would work, but it does seem to have. So basically I could be living in blissful ignorance, but as it's not been mentioned, I happily move on!
So Jake knows that I'm Bi or Curious, he knows everything about me except how much I love him. He knows I love him as a friend because I have told him, but as for the romantic love, he may suspect, but I have not confirmed it.
A few months ago it got better between us (except for about a week during the above situation) and gradually, without ever speaking about "the cock night" we got back to being ok and gradually things have progressed to what is now normal. Now I should probably bullet point what normal is for us. it would take hours of boring typing to put all these bullets into a proper narrative, so apologies for being lazy! Some of these things will seem normal to you. others may not (you tell me!)
Normal for us includes (but I'm sure I'll miss some!): -
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"X"s in text messages
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Pet names such as "babes" & "darling" (he tends to do this more)
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People calling us a couple (which we act on for a laugh sometimes)
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Him staying over all but 1 or 2 nights a week (even when not working the next day)
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Going to the Gym
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Our sofa activities (explained below)
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Me getting pissed off if he changes plans on me (like I'm betrayed or something! god)
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Going out for meals (2/3 a month maybe), in restaurants, just the two of us.
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Random hugs
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Essentially living together
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Saving TV/Films to watch together
There a many more, but you get the drift. We are now most nights ending up on the sofa in our blankets. It's an L sofa, so I will sit in the corner, my legs out. He will then lay his head near my thigh, sometime resting on my leg. Either way he will lay there and give me easy access for one of my hands to rub his back and neck while the other plays with his hair (everyone likes that and I give the best massages according to anyone who has been lucky enough to get one). He will, on occasion, take his shirt off. That's a good night for me (I'm a perv!) A couple of times when I have been out and come back wasted/tired, I will lay down and he will rub my back, but its not the same, I cant feel the same energy from him as I'm sure he feels from me, but that's ok.
So now you're up-to-date, just last night I was rubbing his back and hair for at least two hours. He often falls asleep and last night rolled over, his head partly landing on my hard-on (which I jumped a bit at!) then as I calmed down realised I had access to his chest. So while pretending to be asleep in case he woke, I moved my hand up his shirt and started rubbing his chest and stomach (which I could lick all day by the way!).
That's it, pretty much up-to-date. I'll post updates as and when something worth telling. As I said before, I may post a fantasy, because some have you have asked for that. But I'll make it clear which is the diary and which is the dream! I want to focus on the diary more though, so don't expect weekly erotica!
Thanks for the comments and please keep them coming!
gaverage@btinternet.com