Stone Hearts and Hand Grenades

By Tayler C.

Published on Jul 14, 2023

Gay

I continued to stare at Christian as he walked away, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Tray, you have this incredibly goofy look on your face. What's up?" Cam said, as Blair agreed.

"You've been acting funny all day. What's gotten into you?" Blair said as we walked out of the school doors.

"I have no clue what you two are talking about. I'm good. I promise," I replied to both of them, laughing it off.

"Mmmmmm, yeah sure, Tray. We know you better than anyone. I can read you like a book. I'm sure Blair can too."

We headed to the student parking lot and walked to Blair's pink and black 2011 Mustang. She had always wanted a pink car, ever since she was little. Her dad finally surprised her last year for her Sweet 16 with the car.

"So you guys are still coming to the beach with the rest of us right? I'm definitely going because Derrek is gonna be there!"

"Yeah, I am. I don't have anything else planned. Daddy dearest is gonna be out of town and my mom has a boytoy in Palm Springs, so she isn't gonna be home either." Cam responded.

"What about Xang? He's like 14! He can't be home alone!" Blair said, not believing what she just heard. Cam's parents were on the brink of a divorce. His dad was always out of town, flipping houses and selling them, and his mom was a horny middle-aged woman who wasn't getting any, so she sought out her sexual fantasies with younger men.

"He can handle himself. Phoa and I were home alone all the time when we were younger. Plus our housekeeper lives there. He'll be fine."

"What about you Trace? Are you coming?" Blair asked me.

"Yeah, of course. I have a couple of homework assignments, but you both can text me when you want me to come."

"Great! I have to get to cheer practice in like 10 minutes. We have a new coach, so hopefully I get head cheerleader!"

"Good look, B! Finally!" I said to her laughing. She'd been trying to knock Whitney, Brittany and Tiffany off of head status since Freshman year, but they were all head before her. "Now go before you're late!" With that, Blair took off, while Cam and I walked to my car.

"DAMMIT! I forgot I rode with Josh this morning, so I don't have a way home." He said, looking upset all over again.

"Whatever. Get in. Do you even have to go through the dramatics? I have no problem taking you home." I said to him, while he got in the front seat.

I pulled out of the parking lot and headed to Cam's house in Calabasas. Cam and I lived in opposite neighborhoods, as did Blair, but we were all close enough to each other to be at one each others house in no less than 30 minutes. Soon enough, we were arriving at the Calabasas Country Club gates, so I keyed in the code and made the turns to Cam's home.

"So are you gonna drive to the beach later or do you want me to pick you up?" I asked him.

"I'm driving. I'll text you when I get ready to leave."

"Ok, Cam. See ya later."

"Back atcha."

I arrived home about 20 minutes later, and went inside. Immediately, I was greeted by Gracie. There was another car in the driveway, so I suspected our housekeeper Nickola was here. Nickola was from Italy and she was a very sweet elderly woman. She made the best Italian food. I walked into the kitchen and there she was, sitting at the island, reading a magazine.

"Buon pomeriggio, Nana," I said to her as I hugged her.

"Good afternoon, Trace. Good boy. Grace been walk around, 3 times today! She happy today." She said smiling and hugging me back. She always smelled like hazelnuts and chocolate.

"I don't know what's gotten into her lately. Thank you for taking her out, Nana, even though that's my job."

"I no mind. You good boy. Very good. I no mind. You hungry? Skinny, you need food. Very very skinny. No meat. No girl want bones!" She said.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am hungry. Just whip up a quick snack for me please?" I ignored the girl comment. I didn't know if she was blind, but I definitely like guys and I was definitely out to everyone.

"Va bene! Pasto veloce!" She said, meaning a quick meal.

I walked up the stairs and went to my room and put my schoolbag down. I laid down on my bed and took a deep, blissful breath. I was still smiling at the note. I even kept it and I took it out of my pocket and gave it a kiss. I was on cloud nine. I sat up and decided to do my English and Biology homeworks. I turned on my laptop and began typing the Biology questions in Google and finished that in about 10 minutes, and breezed through my English assignments. After I finished, Nickola called for me to get my snack. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She had made me a Caprese salad; whole basil leaves, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese, with balsamic dressing, to go atop of turkey burger sliders, and a glass of coconut water.

"Grazie, Nana!" I sat at the island and ate my sandwich while Nickola sang her Italian songs. I only ate 3 of the small burgers but Nickola made 8, being extra, so I'd save the rest for her or later on when I got hungry again. I headed back upstairs to my room and laid down for a bit to take a nap. I didn't realize how tired I was.

When I woke up, it was just around 5:30. I picked up my guitar and started strumming random chords. It formed into a mellow and tantalizing melody. On cue, Gracie sauntered in and laid at my feet. I began thinking of the day, and Christian, and wondered how and what he was doing. I began singing...

"I dreamed about your golden eyes, every time I see the sunrise. I picture you all alone with no one there to hold you. I touch your soft, soft skin. It's so perfect like porcelain. Here we are, delicate, once again. It's so true that love is hard. We're space between, but I'm here now and listening. Oh, baby what's on your mind? Let's take it slow, I wanna hear every word you say tonight. Tell me how you feel when I'm away. Tell me what you did just to pass the day. Tell me all the things I couldn't see, because it matters to me... It matters to me." Just as I kept on strumming, my phone was ringing. It was Blair calling.

"Hello? What's up, B?"

"I'm head cheerleader! AAAAAAAHHH!"

"Can you PLEASE stop screaming in my ear? You're about to burst my eardrum, girl."

"Cam, put a sock in it. I'm happy okay! I'm too happy!"

"I'm happy for you, B. Good job."

"I know right. I'm about to get in the shower and get ready to go to the beach. I hope you guys won't be late. I can't just be there looking like an idiot and all by myself. I have to play this right."

"Okay, fine. I'm going to be there, damn Blair. Tray's coming too. All you have to do is text us when you're leaving or call or whatever. Go get in the shower."

"Yeah, we made you a promise. We'll be there. When have we ever broken promises?"

"Well there was the time at Disneyland, the time you told me you were gonna take me with you to Angola, the mall standup Freshman year, the Vegas trip, the sophomore spring fling formal..."

"Okay! Enough! We get it. We'll be there, like promised." I said.

"Good. Perfect! AAAAAAAH!!! I'm so excited! I get to come up with our cheers! And the first one will be at the game Friday! EEEEEEEEEEK!"

"We get it Blair. Gosh, you're such a chick." Cam said. "Text us when you're ready to leave."

"K. Bye homos! Love you both." She said, hanging up.

I decided to change after I got off the phone with Blair and Cam. I decided to keep it casual, with a denim jacket that I stained and studded myself, gray v-neck, and black skinny jeans. I loved destroying and recreating my denims. I had about 20 pairs of jeans that I had destroyed and revamped, 4 or 5 denim shirts, and 5 jackets. I even had a few Converse shoes that I spiked and studded. I let Cam borrow a pair and never got them back. It was cool though, I never even mentioned them again. I decided to wear cologne, something light and beachy... Acqua di Gio. Perfect. About 5 minutes later, Blair text and said she was on the way to the beach. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. Just as I was leaving, my mom pulled up. I went to her car and waited for her to roll down her window. "Hey Mom! Didn't expect to see you home so soon."

"Yeah, we kinda wrapped up early today, and I wanted to get home to my baby. How was your day?"

"Oh, it was great! Matter of fact, I'm going to the beach with the gang and a couple of more kids from school. I won't be there too long, I might come home at around 10."

"Don't drink, Trace. You're driving and I'm holding you responsible to take care of yourself and your car. And if you're out any later, I want you to give me a call." She was trying to be stern.

"You know I don't drink, Ma. I'll call if I happen to be a little later coming in, but I have my key. Sorry I won't be home for dinner."

"It's okay, baby. We'll talk later."

With that, I headed out to the 101 and headed towards the beach that we always hung out at. I turned the radio on and listened to some tunes while I drove. Music always relaxed me and made me more calm. After about 20 minutes, I arrived at the beach and immediately, I spotted Blair, sitting on top of her hood in a white D&G Maxi dress a light blue A&F cardigan and wedge sandals and a huge straw hat. Even at the beach, she was a fashionista. I sort of chuckled at her appearance.

"You're such a diva, Blair. Don't you think you're a bit stylish for the beach?" I said laughing at her attire.

"Ummm? What? What are you talking about?" She said, genuinely confused.

"Dolce and Gabanna maxi dress? Dior shoes and a straw hat? Really, B?" I said laughing even harder.

"Oh! You know most of my clothing is designer. Duh! I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Of course you wouldn't. That's why I love you. Now, where is Wild Child Cam?"

"UGH! I know! I've text him 4 times and still no answer. What goes through that boys mind is such a mystery to me at times."

"He'll be here, Blair. You freak out too quickly."

"You're right. But look! There's Derrek! I'm definitely going over to say hi! Look, omg there's Tiffany with him! The btch will NOT steal my man. The horror. The w**e! Ugh!" She rambled on. Blair loved talking...

"Go. Go get him, B." I said, laughing at her even more.

I walked towards the sand and the crowd of teens. There were a few kids I didn't recognize, but I knew they either had to be from Calabasas High, our sister school. Some I did recognize, and I spoke to them and did the mundane day, school, life routine. I'm sure you all know that routine. If you don't know them, you ask about their day, school, and what's going on in their life. Yeah. I spotted Harrison and Hunter, so I went over to them. They were talking very quietly and I saw the look in both of their eyes. They were together and in love. I knew they were always a bit too close for friends. Even Cam and I weren't that close. I didn't want to intrude on them and whatever they had going on, so I just sat there listening to the conversation about stupid things, and just laughed every now and then, nodded my head to make it seem like I was actually paying attention to them. Finally, Cam appeared out of nowhere, Josh Beck not too far away from him. I got up and pulled Cam away from the crowd.

"Tell me you didn't?!" I said in a very demanding tone.

"Guilty..." He said with a coy little smirk on his face.

"Ugh, Cameron Pha Lang. You frustrate me sometimes. You really do. You're so hardheaded. I'm staying out of it from now on."

"He came over and apologized. I didn't even do anything but kiss him. That's it. I promise! He said he was gonna break up with Britt soon. He said he was getting tired of her." He explained.

"Whatever. I don't believe it, but if you say so, then fine. Lets just go back." I said, giving up on his little love triangle. When we walked back to the group, Christian was there. The same girl who he was talking to at lunch was now holding his hand and talking to him. Wow. That really hurt. I tried not to show it, but it was too late. Cameron noticed.

"What is it? What did you see?" He said looking around. "Oh, that guy. You like him don't you? Isn't he in our Contemporary Living class?"

"Yeah, whatever. I don't even know him. I figured he had a girlfriend anyway," I said, defeated. I sat back down and pretended that I didn't even see them. So he did have a girlfriend after all. What a coincidence that she goes to our school. Blair and Derrek finally joined us in the group. Derrek had a smirk on his face, while Blair looked a bit happy as well.

"Make-out sesh?" Cam said as he joked along with Blair.

"Shut it. I'm a lady. I don't tell my business, and I don't do it for everyone to see." She said as she just stood there in the sand. A couple of guys got up and took their shirts off. They had really amazing and hot bodies. Really hard and taut. They got their boards and went in the water to surf. I tried not to look over at Christian, but it was so hard not to. His brow was frowned, like he was thinking hard about something and his jaw was clenched. I don't think he saw me. Good. I really didn't want to talk to him right now. I see how Cameron felt. This feels like s***t. I don't like it. I decided to watch the unknown hotties catch the waves. Just then, one of the unknown guys pulled out two bottles of liquor and a whole bunch of blunts. Not really my scene. So I got up and walked away from that whole scene. Suddenly, I heard my name being called, but I kind of ignored it. I don't really know why, but I kept walking in the other direction. The person who was calling my name got louder, and started running towards me. I kept on walking, still angry at Christian. The person grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I grabbed at his hand and twisted it.

"OW! OW! Trace, it's only me, Christian! OW! That hurts!" He yelped in pain. I held on to the grip for a few seconds longer, wanting to cause him pain. Finally, I let go. "Some death grip you got there, kid."

"What do you want?" I said, impatient.

"I just wanted to say hey. I didn't think I'd see you out here today. What's up?"

"Oh. Okay. Hey. Bye." I said very curtly and turned to walk away. I headed towards my car, I didn't want to be in this environment any longer. I was so over it.

Christian followed up behind me, trying to walk with me. "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just leaving. See you around. Probably not, though. Bye." I said to him, faking a smile.

I got in my car and text both Cam and Blair and told them that I had left and I was going back home. I had some time to think to myself. I don't know why I overreacted, but I just did. I shouldn't have been so excited and willing to think that he'd actually be into me. He was probably just another playful straight guy. Whatever! This can't keep on happening. It happened before when I misread this guy named Kyle's actions in 10th grade. He kept flirting and being playful with me, and when I kissed him one day after school, he flipped out and we got into a fight. He went on to tell everyone he could that I was a flaming homosexual, but it didn't bother me, because I was already out to my closest friends and family, so he didn't really do any damage in that respect. This wasn't going to happen again. It can't. So I mentally detached myself from Christian and before I knew it, I was pulling up to my driveway. I got out and went straight to my room, took off all of my clothes and went straight to sleep.

Next: Chapter 4


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