Steve and Mike

If your not 18 you shouldn't be reading this come back when your old enough. This story contains sex between two males without the use of condoms. I strongly urge any male out there having sex with anyone to use condoms. Being safe is the only way to play and live a healthy life without the fear of std's. Be smart. Be safe. If you enjoy this story let me know I am enjoying writing this and might continue with some more of this story and what happens between Mike and Steve. All rights belong to the author. Contact me at Aragon76@aol.com (mailto:Aragon76@aol.com) with comments thoughts and suggestions you might have. Enjoy if nothing else! Thanks in advance to any and all replies they mean a lot to me and my writing ideas.

My world had just been shattered by the one person I was certain wouldn't turn their back on me if the truth had ever came out, and she did. The only person I could logically place the blame on was Gary, I had to ask Roy first just to make sure I was right. But first I had to find him it was Sunday and none of us worked that day. It was the only day the restaurant was closed. It was the one thing I hated about working in the restaurant business the hours were long and the only way you really got a day off that you could count on was if the place was closed. And when your the manager it always seemed that even on those days off you had something to finish up before the week started. So I started placing phone calls trying to locate him. During the early eighties cell phones didn't exist so trying to track someone down when you weren't sure where they might be was a little bit of a challenge. And it took some time when you were looking for someone.

I was sitting in the kitchen going through the phone numbers I had, still trying to find Roy when Steve came in.

"You okay Babe? You still don't look that good, I don't want you getting yourself all worked up over this. I know it was a shock and you weren't expecting it and it sucks that she came at you like that without giving you a chance to say anything." He took my hands off the phone and held them in his, still looking into my eyes as he continued to talk to me.

"Remember, I'm sticking with you, I'm not going to walk away Babe. This might get really ugly and I know that, but I'm not giving up and neither are you. You can lean on me all you want or need to. Because what if my mother and father act the same way? After all both of our parents grew up at the same time so you know where that puts their mind set. It's not going to be easy and I knew that when I began to realize that I wanted to have you in my life, not as a friend but as my lover and boyfriend. Maybe the day will come when we can...mmm...." He was struggling, about what I wasn't sure. He was always so confident when he spoke about things, but he wasn't being that way at this particular moment.

"What, maybe the day will come when what?" I wasn't sure what he was trying to say to me."

"Just hear me out before you say anything, I have something to say I'm just not sure how to say it to you." He was pacing back and forth from one side of the room to the other and he began to pick up and straighten things out. I was really getting nervous now, when ever Steve started acting like this I knew he had something to say and he was working it out in his head as how to say it. I was starting to think that maybe he was getting second thoughts that maybe he was beginning to really think about how it was going to be when his parents found out. And what it would mean if they treated him like my mother had just treated me. I wanted to throw up in the worst way.

"I'm not sure how to say this to you, I'm not saying I haven't thought about it, but I have. I just don't know how to go about saying what I'm thinking. I know it's not possible but that's really beside the point."

"What are you getting at? What's not possible? Come on Steve, just spit it out, I'll be honest and tell you that you are starting to make me nervous. I'm getting an uneasy feeling in my stomach. You want to just close your eyes and not look at me while you say it? Maybe that will make it easier for you to say. Just don't tell me that your thinking maybe we shouldn't jump into this so quickly, please don't tell me...."

"Whoa, slow down Michael, I am certainly not going to tell you that. By no means or stretch of the imagination am I thinking like that. Okay, sit down for me and just take a deep breath okay?" So I did as he asked and sat back down on the edge of the bed, I closed my eyes and took a really deep breath and exhaled slowly. I was trying to relax just as he had asked.

"Okay mister, I've settled down, I've taken a good deep breath. So it's your turn to just tell me what your thinking. You know that I pretty much go along with what ever you say" Trying to keep things on the light side and not make this such a heavy conversation I tried to joke with him a little.

"OH YES SIR! Whatever you say sir I will do as the master wishes. I do not wish to displease him." I was half laughing as I said it to him and as least it made him smile for me. I really did love the way he smiled at me. He walked over to me and got down on both knees and wrapped his arms around me.

"I just want to hug you for a minute, you always seem to know what to say to me sometimes when I'm struggling with ten thousand thoughts running around in my head and trying to sort them out. Listen carefully and wait to say

anything until I'm done and tell you that you can talk, because I want to get this all out, and I don't want to screw up what I'm about to say, can you do that for me?" He was really serious, I went back into nervous mode but I wasn't going to let on to that fact. I wanted him to feel like he could tell me whatever it was that he had to say.

"All right Steve, all kidding aside the floor is all yours, I promise not to say anything until you tell me it's okay." He took both my hands and wrapped his around mine.

"I know this has really just begun for you and I. I know that you have lived your whole life trying to hide the fact that you are gay. I certainly never knew and with all the time that you and I spent together over the past few years, it did surprise me when I found out you really were. Boy was I surprised Mike. That first time that we spent together, man was that....but that's not what I want to talk about. I don't know what's going to happen in the next couple of months as other people and family members begin to find out about us. But this I do know.." He paused and took a really deep breath before he continued.

"You mean more to me than any other person that has played a part in my life. I don't know what I would do if you decided to walk away from me at this point in time, I don't know how I would handle it to be honest with you. So, I don't want to take the chance that you'll even think of leaving me, I

don't want to lose you if the going gets really tough in the next couple of months. I want you, I want you now, I want you tomorrow I want you......I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. I couldn't stand the thought of you not being there in the morning when I wake up, even in the short time that you and I have started sharing the same room. I know we can't get married, but maybe someday things will change and we could get married. But in the meantime I'm asking you to just say yes to staying with me, sharing my life with me, sharing everything with me. I don't want to be without you Michael. I love you with all my heart and soul and I'll stand by you and take care of you because I want to take care of you. Will you share my life with me Babe? If you need time to think about it, you take all the time you need I'll wait for you to make that decision, I know it's a lot to ask, and maybe it sounds crazy. And if you want a ring I'll give you one and if you don't that's okay to. Just think about it before you answer me, don't make any snap decisions. Okay, I'm done. The floor is all yours, just think about it, that's all I ask hon." He just kept looking into my eyes, my red swollen puffy tear filled eyes. I so hate when I fucking cry in front of him, it pisses me off to know end. And I just sat there looking back at him not knowing what to say or what to do. He just shocked the hell out of me by everything he had just said.

"I'm.......I......I think ....... I ....um......" I just kept blubbering with heavy sighs in between in the words that I couldn't get to come out of my mouth. The words that I couldn't make any sense out of. He gently put my hands down, placed his on each side of my face along the jaw line and gently pulled me towards him. And he kissed me, sweetly and with passion I guess he was trying to shut me up since I couldn't get the words out. Finally he stopped and looked back into my eyes and told me....

"Take a deep breath, exhale slowly and then you will get the words out Babe, just take you time." And I did.

"Okay, I'm okay now. That was a mouthful mister. I have never felt so wanted by anyone in my entire life do you realize that? I have never felt like you just made me feel. In this short time as you so tenderly put I have fallen more in love with you. I have loved you long before we both discovered that we both felt the same way. I don't need a ring to know that you love me, I don't need a ring to remind me that I have you in my life. I don't need a ring to remind me that I have made a commitment to the one person that I love. I'll wear a ring to remind me that I'm lucky enough to have a man that loves and respects me for who and what I am. I'll wear it because I know you'll take of me no matter what. Whether family and friends walk away or stay close, whatever happens in the future, I to couldn't think of my life without you being in it Steve. So if I haven't answered your question to your satisfaction by now, then yes Steve I'll share the rest of my life with you. And your right we might never be able to walk down an aisle or we might never have the right to be married. But as far as I'm concerned if you put that ring on my finger, and I put a ring on your finger then no more needs to be said or done. You and I will know what it means and that's all that matters to me. So whenever you want to get those rings, from that day forward you'll know that I'll never want to leave you. Does that answer your question mister?" And it was he who had the tears in his eyes this time, not me. Of course I was already cried out by this point in our conversation.

"Yes Babe, yes that answers my question. Do you want to pick out the rings together or do you want me to pick them out for us?"

"Surprise me, you pick, But...just don't hand me the box they come in and say here you go. If you do I'll smack you in the head."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"You'll figure something out, you have brains and you certainly know how to push my buttons and make me happy, so be creative that's all I ask, is that to much?" I was joking with him because I knew he wouldn't even think about buying those rings and just throwing me the box and tell me to just put it on.

"You have a good romantic side when you stop and think about it, so I know you won't disappoint me mister."

"And yea, what's with the Mister thing lately? I haven't heard Studly much, even though we know I am." Back to his usual sarcastic self. It made me laugh.

"I told you I would pick another nickname for you, mister might be the one I use for now, remember I told you that it might be worse than Studly So from now mister. And the minute I said it, I didn't like it, I was going to have to figure out another one for him. And it had to be good, something I could really tease him about. I instantly knew what to call him.

"Hey, SAD SACK!"

"Sad Sack, where in the hell did that come from?"

"Well your initials are SAC so that gets to Sack and you have a big sack hanging in a particular place and it's sad to see them covered up where I can't always get to them like I'd like to...." I was trying not to laugh and just couldn't wait to hear what he was going to say about this name.

"Your sick Michael, do you know that your sick. Only you could come up with something like that." He was laughing the whole time he was talking to me. I had a nickname for him, at least for now, I still might have to think of another for him, because that one I knew I couldn't be calling him in public. The laughter finally died down between us.

"Okay Steve, back to reality. What am I going to do about my mother and father? Should I just let things go for now and not say anything or should I just go there and try to talk to them? I don't know what to do, and I do want to know how they found out. I really think it had to be Gary. Roy just seemed like he wouldn't say anything the way he reacted to the whole situation when he told him. Only Gary was the one that didn't really like it, but even when he walked out that night I was sure that he wouldn't say anything. He even said he wouldn't tell Eileen. And you and I both know Gary well enough to know that when he says he won't do something, he doesn't. But he's the only one that looks like he did tell. But I could be wrong about both and could have it totally wrong. I'll have to talk to Roy first and ask him see what he has to say." It was the only thing I could do. I had to wait for Roy to get home and then ask him.

He got home late that night so I didn't have the chance to talk to him or ask him anything. I left a not on his bed saying that I needed to talk to him and that it was important. Gary wasn't coming home that night because he was spending the night at Eileen's place. He had been staying off and on at her place lately. At the rate things were going I knew before to long that those two would end up getting married. As long as she didn't get pregnant it would be longer than sooner. If there was an accident it would be sooner. So a few days passed before we really had a chance to talk to either one of them. We certainly couldn't do any talking at work about this. It was Wednesday night before I could really talk to Roy.

"I have something I have to ask you Roy and please be honest with me. Did you tell Mom and Dad about me?" I just left it at that, I wasn't going to get into anything and I was trying to hold my self together in case he said he did. I knew Steve was in the living room but I also new that he was listening to every word that was going on between us. He told me that he would jump in if anything happened or it started getting ugly between my brother and I. Of course that was under the assumption that he had told them.

"What do you mean, you mean about the gay thing?"

"Yes, the gay thing." I had to smirk a little the way he put it. He didn't make it sound like a disease, but he was close to it.

"Did you say anything to them at all? Mom called me Sunday and let me have it both barrels about what a sick and twisted life I was living. Her and Dad have pretty much told me not to show up at the house. They don't want anything to do with me. I just want to know if you said anything to them, if it wasn't you then it was Gary and I'll deal with him if that's the case." I was starting to get pissed but I was trying very hard not to say or do anything stupid.

"No, I didn't tell them anything about you. I haven't seen them or talked to either one of them lately." I had a feeling he wasn't being totally honest, I wasn't sure why but I had this nagging feeling that he wasn't putting

all the cards out on the table.

"You said nothing, not slipped and said something by mistake? Or maybe you said something to Cindy and didn't mean to. If that's what happened, just tell me now so I can deal with this. Because one way or the other I have to find out how they found out Roy." I kept my temper in check and my voice down, I didn't want a battle to start over this.

"No, I didn't say anything Michael, you asked me not to." He said it again but the nagging feeling wasn't going away.

"Okay Roy, I believe you. I'll talk to Gary because he must have been the one that said something to someone, either he told her himself, or he said something to his mother or father. And if he did, then I'm sure Aunt Marilyn or Uncle Mickey picked up the phone the minute Gary left the room and called Mom. What else could I think at that moment that was the only other conclusion to this problem. But I still had this nagging feeling. I only had to wait a little longer until Gary got home before I could confront him about this. I so hate the waiting game in situations like this.

I decided that I would just let it go and go to my room. It was probably the safest place for me to go. I had to be alone and keep my temper in check, I didn't want to turn this into something ugly. I was hurt that my cousin

had said anything, I was sure that he wasn't going to say anything. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe just maybe he said something by mistake and his mother or father caught it and cornered him and got it out of him. Or maybe he accidentally said something in front of his sister and she was the one that told my Aunt and Uncle. One way or the other he told someone. It was after midnight before he came through the door. By that time a hundred things had run through my head over this whole situation. Steve had spent the entire evening talking to me and getting me to stay calm and to not let me get myself to worked up. I gave him enough time to walk in, get a drink and I cornered him.

"Gary, I have to know something and please be honest with me, this is really important. Did you or did you not say anything to your mom, Eileen or your sister about me being gay? I kept trying not to sound mad, but it was only half working. Gary started backing up from in and backed himself into the living room before he actually stopped. And before I gave him the chance to answer me I half yelled at him.

"I just want you to know that I already asked Roy and he told me that he didn't say anything, so don't come off telling me that you didn't say it to one of them. One of them knows and they told my mother and father and now I've been told not to go to my own house, I'm not to even think about going to talk to my mother and father they've made it perfectly clear that I am not welcome in my own home." Now I was getting pissed, all I was waiting for was his admission of guilt.

"Michael, I have not said anything to anyone, I swear. You asked me not to and I didn't. I don't know why your brother is lying to you, but I am not, I have not said a word. And I'll tell you why I didn't say anything. Because I don't want to be the one that gets a bunch of shit started and end up having you hate me. I will admit that I don't agree with what's going on between you and Steve. But that's none of my business, what you two wish to do behind closed doors is your business. Neither one of you has forced your lifestyle on me and you haven't asked me to say or do anything about the situation that has made me feel uncomfortable. So I suggest that we go talk to Roy because I'm not taking the heat for this one, I didn't do it."

Gary wasn't angry or mad but by his tone of voice I really believed what he had said. And when I had finished talking to Roy I still had that nagging feeling that he wasn't being totally honest with me. And for the second time that day I felt like my world had been pulled out from under me. I had trusted him, against my better judgment I had told him in a total moment of weakness I had been honest with him and now I was paying the price. Steve was right behind me, and grabbed me by the arm.

"Michael, listen to me for one minute, please." There it was again, the voice of reason coming out. I really didn't want to hear it, I wanted to beat that shit out of my brother. I had been right the first time, he can't be trusted.

"Don't Steve, don't try to reason with me this time, he fucking conned me into letting my guard down with him and I shouldn't have. He did this on purpose, he went fishing the night we talked and he caught me, hook line and sinker, he fucking reeled me in. I'm fucking pissed and as much as I'm not a physical person, I'm going to beat the shit out of him." I was fuming, my face was getting hotter, my ears were burning and turning redder every second that went by. I wanted blood. Steve still had a hold on me and wasn't letting go.

"Michael, stop, right now, stop. This is not the way to deal with this. Getting into a fight with him is not going to solve the problem."

"And what I should go in there to him and shake his hand and say thank you for fucking everything up, for lying to me? Maybe I should ask him did he have fun conning me like he did. Maybe he got a few kicks out of it. Don't I deserve to get my kicks out of it to?' I was yelling now, there was no way that Roy didn't hear what was going on. His bedroom came open and out he walked. Like nothing was wrong.

"Are you fucking happy Roy? Did you get your kicks out of it? How long did you wait before you went and told Mom? Hour? Two hours? No, knowing you, you waited just long enough for me to walk away and out of ear shot and you were on the phone letting her know what I had been stupid enough to tell you. I should have known better, I know how you are you don't change and your never going to change, once a fucking jerk always a fucking jerk!" I was

furious, Steve and Gary were holding onto me tight. I wanted more than anything to get my hands on him. And he just stood there not saying anything for a minute.

"No, I didn't go running off to tell Mom or Day the minute you turned your back. I told Cindy the next day, she did the rest of the work." He was being so smug while he said it. I couldn't see anything, my world turned bright red, my rage overtook me. I pushed Steve and Gary to the side and lunged at him. At the time this happened I was six foot and weighed in at about two hundred forty my brother was about five ten and weighed about one hundred sixty. He may have been smaller than me but all my life my brother was able to out fight me, mostly due to the fact I was a pacifist and hated fighting. Not this time. He never had time to move when I had pushed Steve and Gary aside. When I made contact with him I grabbed him by his throat. I started to chock him and shake his body back and forth. I wanted blood, this had been the final straw. Steve was the one that got my hands away from his neck, but it didn't last long.. I pushed him back and started swinging, Roy was backing up trying to avoid any contact with me. And Steve was yelling at me to stop. I couldn't I wanted him on the floor and the first punch that connected to his face did just that. He went down and was out cold. I was shaking so hard and the tears started to flow, I backed away from his body that was just laying there motionless and turned looked at Gary then at Steve and I just walked out of the room up the stairs and closed the door. I was physically and emotionally spent. All I could think was what had I done?

I sat there on my bed and played the scene over and over in my head. I heard them downstairs, at first there wasn't to much noise but before to long the yelling and screaming started. I didn't pay attention to it, I just shut it out. I just sat there wondering how I had been so stupid, how had I let my brother con me into telling him. And then he made me believe that he wouldn't say anything. And of course when he told my sister I'm sure he neglected to tell her not to say anything. So the first thing she is going to do is to call my mother to let her know what was going on in the family. That's the way it went in our family, tell one and before to long the rest of the family would know. Of course that also depended on what it was that was being related. And the minute Roy told Cindy I was gay, he hung up, she hung up and then she picked up the phone and dialed my mother. All within a few minutes. You know what they say news travels fast, especially within the family, there, the news travels even faster. As I sat there I cried, I got mad, I cried some more and I just hated everything at that moment. but I hated my brother even more. This was going to be that straw that broke the camels back. He had gone to far this time, He had surpassed any thing he had ever done to me that was even remotely cruel. It actually felt good knowing that I had hit him that hard, I kept wishing that it hadn't been on the first punch that connected. I wish I had been able to hit him over and over again. I was actually angry that it had ended so quickly. Perhaps it was for the best, maybe I would have killed him if I had been able to continue assaulting him. I finally stopped crying and began to get a hold of myself and once I did that I just laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I wanted the world to go away. I'm not sure how much elapsed before Steve slowly opened the door and came in. He didn't say anything he just came over and sat down beside me. He rubbed my forehead for a few seconds, slowly and softly.

"You okay now?"

"I'm not sure yet to be honest with you. Half of me still wants to go back downstairs and continue where I left off. The other half just hates him right now Steve."

"You have every right to Mike. I can't believe that he did what he did. And even more so I can't believe the way he came out of the bedroom and said what he did." He was going to reason with me, I could tell in the tone of his voice. It was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"Don't Steve, don't try to reason an explanation out of this. He fucking did what he did on purpose, he did it to get at me. He did it because he's an asshole and that's how he treats people. To him its just a game. I don't want anything to do with him. As far as I'm concerned he's dead. I no longer want anything to do with him. I want him out of the house, I'll pay his part of the rent, but I want him out and I want him out within a few days. I will change the locks on Thursday, I suggest that you and Gary let him know. Anything still here at that point I will throw into the fire place and burn. I don't give a shit what it is that he leaves.

"Michael, come on, I'm just asking you to let it alone at the moment. Like it or not your brothers and your going to have to face each other sooner or later. You can't just cut him out of your life like this. I understand why you feel this way and I don't blame you but for now just ignore him and don't talk to him. He's already left the house. Gary and I packed up two suitcases and he left, he didn't say where he was going but I just want you to know that he's not in the house." He was just being honest now, he wasn't trying to reason with me and he wasn't trying to play it down. He was just telling me like it was.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway when I pushed you, I didn't mean to. I was just so angry that I couldn't even think straight Steve. I just wanted to smash his face in. I wanted to hurt him bad."

"You did."

"What do you mean." I really hadn't stopped and considered what I did to him. I just figured that no one was calling for a cop or ambulance he couldn't be that bad off.

"You may have only hit him once but I'm pretty sure you broke his nose and I would be surprised if you didn't break his cheek bone. His right eye will definitely be swollen shut by tomorrow. He's gone to the hospital to get checked out. He's going to call later and let me know what the outcome was.

"After all this you still are talking to him?" I said it more out of anger than anything. And I was short with Steve because he was still talking to my brother.

"No Babe, I'm not really talking to him, he's calling later more to see what you have to say about the whole thing, he certainly knows that he fucked things up between you and him. He's really calling later to see where he stands after I have had a chance to talk to you. Don't worry I'll tell him exactly what you said. I don't want him here either. Gary was the one that told him to pack up a few suitcases and head out tonight. Gary was really pissed off at him. I thought at one point that Gary was also going to let him have it. But he stayed in control and didn't do anything."

"Is he okay now? I didn't hurt him when I pushed him aside did I?" I was concerned because my cousin had lost the use of his left arm in a motorcycle

accident when he was nineteen. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.

"No, he's fine and he told me to tell you not to worry about him, he was glad to see you put your brother down to the ground on one punch."

"That wasn't my intention, I really wanted to do more than that." I wasn't joking but by this time my temper had waned some more and it came out half jokingly.

"Yea, really Slugger, for someone who's a pacifist that sure was some punch you threw at him. Next time I get into a fight with anyone, I want you on my side. I mean damn Michael, you laid him out cold, In one frickin throw." Now he was teasing me.

"Hey Sad Sack, lets say you and me go to bed? After the day I've had today I'm tired and my brain is fried, I just want to lay down and get some sleep. Besides the clock is going to ring loudly and early tomorrow morning. I need the rest so I don't look like shit tomorrow. After crying as much as I have today my eyes look like crap." I was tired and I did want sleep.

"How bout we smoke a bone before we hit it?" It sounded like such a good idea when he suggested it I thought oh what the hell. Steve walked over to the door and looked at me for a minute.

"You sure your okay Babe? You'll be okay till I get back?" This was my Steve, the one who cared way to much some times.

"Go..Go get some weed and bring it back here, ask Gary if he wants to join us." I leaned over grabbed the pillow and threw it at him.

"I don't think Gary is going to join us in bed!" He started laughing as he reached for the doorknob to open the door. To his surprise Gary was standing on the other side.

"You two are sick there is no way I'm joining you in bed, and I'm not smoking any bone except that one that rolls up with weed in it!" He was joking with us and I was glad. I really did feel bad for pushing him aside.

"You okay cuz? I didn't mean to push you like that, it's just that Roy made me so mad I couldn't think straight."

"No problem and don't worry about it, I would have done the same thing you did. And he deserved what he got, man did you land a punch. I didn't know you had that in you. Your always the peace maker amongst us. But it was a nice surprise to see you like that. No one is ever going to believe that you

laid your brother out cold."

"Still, I'm sorry. I feel like I owe you at least that. I jumped to conclusions and didn't give you the benefit of the doubt when Roy first told me he didn't say anything. And what hurts is that when I was done talking to him about it, I still had this nagging feeling that he wasn't being honest with me. I should have trusted my first instincts about him." It never takes long for me to feel the effects of a joint and this time was no different. I definitely was calming down and the longer we sat there and shot the shit the more I just wanted to close my eyes.

"Okay Gary it's time to kick you out of our bedroom I'm getting tired especially after that outburst with Roy it took the wind out of my sails to say

the least." I wasn't lying the rage I let go of on my brother drained me. I was grateful that Gary and I were okay and that at least our friendship was still intact.

"Okay you two, I'm out of here I'm going to see Eileen. Mike, I'm going to tell Eileen what happened tonight if you don't mind. I want her to hear it from me before it spreads throughout the family. She'll be mad that I didn't tell her. I'll be honest Mike I was going to tell her soon, but I was also going to tell her that it was to stay between her and I until you said differently." I had a lot of respect for Gary for telling me that he was going to tell Eileen, I knew sooner or later he would have told her Gary didn't like keeping secrets from her.

"No problem and yes please tell her I'd rather it coming from you than hearing it from someone in the family while they're bashing us at the same time. And even though I know I don't have to say this just please, please ask her not to say anything for at least a week. That will give Steve and I some time to gather our thoughts and time to talk to his Mom and Dad. And that's going to have to happen within the next day or two. I don't want to take the chance of them hearing it from some stranger. I don't think his Mom would be happy if she got the news from someone other than Steve." I knew by the way Steve was fidgeting that he wanted to say something, so I kept my mouth shut to give him the opportunity to say his two cents.

"Gary, I know that your mother isn't going to take this well. She lives by the bible everyday. And I don't find anything wrong with that I was brought up going to Church every Sunday and into believing what the Bible says, however, this is one area of the bible that I don't agree with. I will continue to go to church, but I know your mother to well to think that she's just going to stand back and not say anything about this because I know she won't be taking our view point about being gay." That was the first time I had heard Steve say anything about the church and him being gay. It was a subject we hadn't discussed up to that point. At least now I know.

"Michael here doesn't say to much about going to church but I do know that he was raised the same way I was, and church was a big part of our lives growing up. Little does he realize that in the very near future WE WILL be going to church ourselves." I was a little surprised to say the least. He was right in the fact that we hadn't talked about it, but I hadn't gone to church in a long time. It wasn't that I didn't believe I just felt differently as I got older about what the church had to say about homosexuality. The church I had gone to, didn't say one way or the other whether they opposed it or not. Which in my eyes meant they didn't want to take a stand about it. Their non action told me they didn't approve but they just didn't want to come out publicly to say where they did stand. Guess I was going to church in the near future.

"Will this be every Sunday Steve or can I sleep in most of the time, well maybe not most of the time, but maybe every other week?" I was quickly watching my Sunday sleep in day coming to an end.

"Maybe, if your really good, I'll let you sleep in some of those mornings but you and I both need to attend church. I'll tell you later when we aren't high. It's going to be important to my Mom and Dad to see that I'm still going to church once we tell them about our relationship." He wasn't telling me that I had to go, Steve wouldn't do that to me, he always let me make my own decisions up about sensitive subjects like this one. Why oh why God did you give me somebody that had more patience than me?

"So I'll be good fifty percent of the time and then I can go every other week just like I said in the first place." I was joking of course, if he did ask me to go every week I would go out of respect for Steve and due to the

fact that I had been thinking about going back for some time. I had been asking for an answer from the man up stairs whether I should go back or not since he knew how I felt about the church. This had been my answer.

Gary took off which left us alone for the night, if he was going to see Eileen at this hour I knew he wouldn't come back until he had to go to work the next day. Steve was the one that broke the ice once the front door banged shut.

"You want to talk now or later? I know you have a lot on your mind so I'm not sure how much talking you want to do Mike. But you have to let me know and don't say I'm not sure or worse yet lets talk later line the both of them drive me up the wall. And no, I'm not yelling at you. I'm just saying that maybe we should have a little talk before we go to bed. You know me, I don't like going to bed at night when your upset, you don't sleep number one and number two always make sure you talk things out before you go to bed at night, my mother always told me that at when I was a kid growing up." Steve wasn't forcing the issue, he was just being himself and lately he had been on my butt about getting things out in the open, dealing with whatever the problem was and then moving on. Most times I hated him telling me things like this mostly because I knew he was right. And I hated when he was right, made me feel like he was so much older and wiser than me. but he didn't treat me like that, ever. He always gave me nothing but respect in our relationship.

"You win Sad Sack, you win now lets straighten this out and then we'll go to sleep." There he goes again using that voice of reason. I could never say no to that tone of voice and he knew just how to use it on me.

"The one thing that bothers me the most right now is my sister. She's known for a little while now, I wonder why she hasn't called me. And that makes me wonder how she really feels about this. I guess I'll have to call her soon and ask her what the deal is. I think and I only think this, but she's not going to just go along for the ride on this one. Since she converted to being a Mormon I don't know where she stands, I know where the Mormon church stands."

"Well until you actually talk to her and hear her out you won't know, right?" It was a rhetorical question. I just sat there and didn't say a thing he already knew my answer. So glad he could read my thoughts so to speak, sometimes it saved me from opening my mouth and nothing coming out but tears. And this is one of those times that the tears would have flowed, seems that's all I could do this day. Time to end the day on a high note.

"Lets finish that doobie and then crawl into bed, sound like a plan to you?" Joking, already he was back into a joking thing. You gotta love him, you just gotta. Steve and I had taken over the master bedroom once everyone in the house found out about us. So we had the luxury of having our own bathroom. Hey, it only goes without saying, since we were out with the two that

mattered what was the point of sleeping in separate rooms? The first few nights after they both new Gary had suggested that Steve and I take that bedroom. He was spending most of his nights at Eileen's anyway. He got the room originally because he and Eileen were seeing each other seriously when we moved in and we had all agreed that they should have it. So while Steve were talking and finishing the doobie we started our nightly routine of stripping down and washing up and brushing our teeth. Hey, every one has their rituals, we were developing ours.

We crawled in and pulled up the sheet and then the blanket. Steve put his pillow against the headboard and leaned against. He was almost in a sitting

position, but not all the way. I scooted down in the bed and put my head in his lap and laid my arm across his legs. He kept running his fingers through my hair and every now and then he would run his hand palm down against my forehead. I was getting drowsy the more he kept it up. I don't remember falling asleep. I woke up about a few hours after my head still in his lap. He must have been dreaming, his penis was hot and hard. I started thinking, should I or shouldn't I. I finally came to the conclusion that if I woke up first I would wake him up properly. Nice and properly. I slept the rest of the night without waking up once.

The alarm clock was screaming its none melodic tune, bright and early right on schedule. I had actually been awake for a few minutes before the alarm

went off. When I was in the Navy and in boot camp I had the pleasure of being stuck in a top bunk with a speaker almost directly above me. When rivalry was played at four thirty in the morning and that speaker was so close, you developed this sixth sense that allowed me to wake before that speakers even began blaring rivalry That old habit was developing again since I had to get up at that magic hour of four thirty again. So the alarm wasn't a complete and total waste, Steve was consequently jumping off the bed in a fog and searching madly for the clock. He found the shoe that he left in the middle of the floor when he did his striptease the night before thinking he would tease me into sex. I started laughing because he was swearing his head off, at the shoe no less. I couldn't resist.

"Find that shoe you were looking for?" By the time I finished the sentence I was laughing and really was trying hard to sound at least serious.

"Oh your funny, real funny!! Shithead! Your have no sympathy for me I swear." He was trying hard to sound indignant but it wasn't working worth a shit.

"You know where you can find sympathy don't you. Right between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." I was laughing so hard I had to get myself out of bed and make a beeline for the toilet because now I really had to pee. But Steve shut the alarm off, spun around and grabbed me as I was trying to get around him to get to the bathroom. He wasn't going to show mercy, he was

tickling me. Oh god I had to pee so bad.

"If you don't... stop....Steve I'm gonna pe..."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, what was that you were saying?" He had me in a chock hold, he isn't, but he's sure in the hell making me want to pee even more than before.

"Sad Sack stop it right...now.... don't do thi.....seriously.....I have to pee.....going to piss on you ....... in a min......." He kept it up but I finally got free from him and rushed to the bathroom I didn't try to aim or anything of that nature I just aimed for the tub figured I couldn't miss a urinal that big. I didn't. All I heard was him in the bathroom laughing hysterically. I wanted to get him good for this one.

"You will so pay for that one Sad Sack, so bad, your going to get yours. Maybe not right now, maybe not this afternoon maybe not even to today, but you'll pay. I will get even with you Big Boy!" I'll play if off for now and pretend nothing happened.

"I'm going to jump in the shower, shave and I'll be out in a few, will you go put the coffee on and make me a cup?"

"Oh yes sssaaahib... your wish is my command." So he's in a sarcastic mood this morning.

"Yes slave whatever the master wishes." Oh I so going to get even for this one.

"Paybacks a bitch Big Boy, a real bitch." I absolutely loved this morning banter that was developing between us, it made my day start out on a good note, know matter what I knew was on the schedule. I turned on the water, grabbed my razor and shaving cream and stepped into the shower. About ten minutes later I was done and Steve was back with my coffee.

"You want me to leave the water running?'

"Yea, I'll be back in a second."

I got out from the shower and was just about dry when he came back in. He dropped his sweat pants and stepped in. I loved watching him take a shower even more so when he wasn't watching me and I could just look him up and down and all over. He was so lucky he had such a good body but he never acted

like he knew it. I was jealous of his good looks. Well maybe not jealous but certainly envious. How had I gotten so lucky to get someone that handsome/ I had finished getting ready and was almost dressed by the time he got out of the shower. As usual he moved right along and as he finished dressing I made a quick pick up in the bathroom and made the bed.

"You ready to go Steve?"

"Yea lets book it out of here, we're running a few minutes behind."

The drive to work was a quiet one, neither one of us said anything. This wasn't unusual for us, most of the morning drives to work were in silence. It was our way of getting mentally prepared for another day at the restaurant. I knew Roy was scheduled to have the day off so I wasn't worried about having to face him. But he would be at work on Tuesday. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it. I thought about firing him, but he was still reporting to the military as part of his probation discharge. I tried not to think about it at work, I just kept myself busy and work flew by and before long we were on our way home.

"I've got to call my sister when I get home Steve, I have to find out how Roy presented this situation to her. I need to know if he told her not to say anything or not. I need to know if he told her and then told her to call Mom and tell her." I wasn't sure how he had done it, but one way or the other he played her to do what he intended and that I was sure of. My brother was very good at manipulation. Two can play that game. I don't like playing it but I know how and I paid closer attention than he realized when it came to how to get people to do things and make them think it was their idea. I had a feeling its what he had done to my sister.

The minute we walked through the door I picked up the phone and dialed my sister.

"Hello Cindy, this is your brother." There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before she said anything.

"Hello Michael, what's up?"

"That's what I'd like to ask you Cindy, just what is up with you. And don't play dumb it won't work I already know that you told Mom I was gay. But what I want to know is how you found out, well not how, I know that. But I want to know why you did it. What made you do it, why did you call Mom and Dad and tell them before talking to me first to see how I felt about the situation. There's more here at stake than just me. I have to be considerate about Steve's feelings and his family too. This isn't just about me." I was keeping myself in check, I wasn't going to lose my temper like i did the last time. There was no point in behaving like that. I knew it wouldn't accomplish anything with my sister.

"I don't know what you mean by that statement. Roy called me the other day and told me that you and him had a conversation and during that conversation you decided to tell Roy that you were gay. And before I say anything else I don't know how I feel about this. Your my brother and family is supposed to come first above all else, but this is different, this is a whole new ballgame and your really testing the waters with this one."

"I'm not testing the waters here at all as you put it. I am what I am and I've hidden it all my life just because of the things like what's going on right now. It took everything I had in me to tell Roy it wasn't easy. I wanted to tell the people I love the most first, one at a time. I told Roy and had asked him, no I told him not to say anything to anyone. I needed to get to each of you one by one so that I could explain things. Now I can't do that because Roy has fucked me royally. So now tell me what he said when he called you." I was counting slowly inside my head trying to stay calm.

"When he called he told me that you and he had talked and that he was telling this because you claimed you couldn't face me directly. And during that

conversation he implied that maybe it would be best if Mom and Day found out from me instead of you going to them and trying to do it yourself. He thought that you would get to emotional telling them. So he did suggest kind of for me to tell them. I thought I was doing the right thing Michael. I told him that I would talk to you first and ask me how you wanted me to tell them, but he insisted that right now you were really upset over the whole situation with Steve and that you wanted some time just between you and Steve to get things back on an even keel before you started trying to tell anyone else." I could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn't lying. He had done this on purpose.

"Have you talked to Roy since last night Cindy:'' As mad as I was, I wasn't going to let this end up with me screaming and yelling at her. It wouldn't do anything or prove anything. It was his fault the entire thing was his fault.

"No, I haven't talked to him since that night when he told me about you."

"I sent him to the hospital last night Cindy. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose and possibly his right cheek bone. He had the day off today so I haven't seen him, or heard from him and neither has Steve. He was supposed to call after he visited the emergency room last night to let either Gary or Roy as to what was going on. The two of them helped him pack two suitcases and he left. I'm changing the locks on the front and back door. I would put a restraining order against him but I don't know that I can because of him working with me. And I don't know what would happen to him if I fire him, I don't know how the military would react to him not having a job. One of his stipulations regarding his getting out of Leavenworth Prison was that he have a job and a place to live and to have a sponsor to help him make sure he did those things. As of Thursday the door locks will be changed like I said and he's not getting a new key. Steve is going to tell him that whatever is left once I change the lock anything left in the house I will burn in the fireplace."

"Michael I'm not sure why Roy did what he did and I'll be the first to admit that what he did really is unforgivable, but don't go overboard. I'm sure he knows that he doesn't have a place to live by now and he's probably out looking to see what he can find. I don't know what to suggest about the job. Maybe you should call his probation officer and ask him what would happen to him. And don't be afraid to tell him what's going on. He needs to know the whole picture before he can make any type of decision. He has to know all the facts Michael, and I do mean all the facts. That includes you being gay. I'll be the first to admit to you that I thought for a long time that you were gay, but I was never sure, I just felt like you were and I can't explain how I knew that."

"Will you still talk to me, just like we always have or will you be like Roy and stab me in the back the minute I turn it?" I didn't want to sound short or to snap at her because I knew she hadn't done it intentionally. Roy had tricked her into doing it. I would deal with him later, I wasn't sure how yet, but I was going to deal with him.

"Michael your my brother and believe it or not, I have several gay friends and just like you some of them don't want other people to know. All they ask of me is that I don't tell other people they're gay, I just direct those

people to my fiends and they deal with it themselves. I'll do the same for you it doesn't matter to me, I still love you. I know that Mom and Dad freaked out on you, but I'll help you with them, I promise. It's the least I can do since I'm the one that told them, sound okay to you?" This was the sister I knew, the one that loved me. I was glad I had one of my siblings on my side, because it will make getting back into my house and to my parents a little bit easier. At least she had handled most of the hysteria from my mother. Perhaps in a few weeks she will have had enough time to settle down and to think about it and in the long run would be okay with it. For now, I could only hope that's how it would play out. But this is real life, real life rarely plays out the way you want it to. Well I'll say that the end result might be what you want, but getting there doesn't always go the way you hope and think it will. But for now as long as in the end my parents are talking to me and more importantly excepting me, then it will all be worth it.

"Okay Cindy I believe you and I love you to, even if you are the short ugly one in the family, kinda like the runt of the litter!" I just had to tease her to lighten the mood between us, I didn't like it like this. I preferred my relationship with my sister to stay on the light side. All our lives we grew up teasing each other. I would call her the short ugly one because she was five two compared to my six feet. And in return she would call me the tall dumb one. It's a joke that still goes on to this day. I hung up feeling better about everything on my side of the family.

I knew that my mother and father would not be running out the door or picking up the phone to tell everyone what was going on. And I'm not sure why, it's not like I was the first gay person in the family. But then again seeing how they were treated when I was growing up was another reason I didn't want to just say, hey guys, I'm your youngest son and I'm gay. There was a cousin on my fathers side, not much older than my father. She had lived on her parents farm most her life and when she got older her partner moved in with her and they have been together ever since. However as much as everyone knows about it, no one says a word about. It's like a family secret that they don't want anyone to know. And they figure that if no one talks about it out loud, then there's nothing really going on. It's like the militaries policy of don't ask, don't tell. The whole family knew but no one was allowed to speak about it out loud. That was a conversation that was allowed for after all the children had gone to bed. And even then it wasn't talked about openly and freely. Whatever happened just don't say that "G" word out loud. God Forbid.

Then I had another cousin on my mothers side and Joni was a few years older than me. She came out at a young age and pretty much didn't care what the rest of the family thought, it was more a fuck you attitude, if you didn't like it you could shove it up your ass and rotate on it. As much as I admired her ability to stand up for herself, I didn't want to be around my family with that kind of attitude. I just wanted to be accepted for who and what I was, without fear of saying anything out loud, without fear of being told to shut my mouth and just don't say anything. As if not talking about it makes it so it's not really happening. There has to be a happy middle ground for both sides. I'm not going to sit there and suck face or hang all over my partner and rub peoples noses in it. But just like married people do, an occasional kiss or holding hands, or just putting your arms around one another isn't a big deal, I'm not asking for the impossible. Is it really that much to ask of your family?

The whole time I had been talking to my sister Steve had busy in the background, making coffee for us and slowly putting some kind of supper together

for us. I was usually the one that made supper but since I was on the phone for a little while he had jumped in and started the process himself. I was grateful the last thing I wanted to do was make supper for him and I.

"Well what did your sister have to say about the whole thing, I take it by what side of the conversation that I heard that your brother more or less tricked her into telling your parents." He was being direct, hell when wasn't he? Just exactly what I loved about him, I still wish I could be more like him. Guess I'll have just keep working on and settle what I have in my life. I was forever trying to be more like Steve. I respected him because of those qualities that he possessed. Those qualities were the ones that I felt I was lacking. I'm honest with myself and tried to be more like him to be more of an assertive and self confident man. I knew from the very beginning that he was an alpha male I had accepted that, hell I even liked it that way. Who was I trying to kid?

"He made her believe that I wanted her to tell my parents to help soften the blow when they found out. He told her not to call me to see how she wanted me to handle the whole thing. The kicker is that he told her not to call

me because I was to upset over what you and I had been going through at the time and that I just wanted to be left alone and that I would deal with what ever happened after she told them. He's got the biggest set of balls Steve. I want to fucking kill him so bad right now. I don't believe that anyone of my friends are going to treat as badly as he has, and he's my brother for Christ's sake. I mean I realized he might not like the idea, but to kick me in the stomach after he acted so nice to you and I. It's just hard to swallow, I really hope that it's a long time before I actually have to talk to him again. Anytime in the near future would be hazardous to my health and well being because I could end up in jail with the things I'm thinking of doing to him right now."

"Alright, I can understand why you feel that way, he's not even my brother but I want to screw him over just as much as you do, but would it really solve anything if we did beat the shit out of him? What would we accomplish?" Here comes the voice of reason I can hear it now. I just sat there thinking about what he asked me, of course he was right, nothing would be accomplished in beating him up except he might have some more broken bones.

"Fine your right it won't do anything or prove anything, But I won't forget about him either, payback is a bitch and I can guarantee there will be a payback for him. The time will present itself for you to get back at him. You know what they say, every dog has its day, someday you'll have yours to Michael. I mean that. Even if I have to be the one to help make it happen."

I just sat there listening to him ramble on and loved every second of it. I was getting hungrier by the minute sitting there and just talking.

"What's for supper, what junk did you pull out from that sad excuse of a fridge? Anything good? It smells good I can tell you that much. Maybe you better not tell me, if I know what it is you know me, if I even think I don't

like it I won't eat it. So don't tell me." Whatever it was it looked like a stew, I could tell there was chunks of meat and some potatoes, there were chunks of tomatoes, and an assortment of vegetables and rice. I wondered if the sink was in there.

"I won't tell you what's in it, I'll just tell you that just about all the leftovers aren't leftover any more. You'll be washing a lot of plastic containers after supper. I just opened whatever there was and dumped it into the soup pot. How's it taste:" I was now half afraid to try it I knew what some of the leftovers were and I knew I didn't like some of them. Oh well, I didn't have to cook, so I will be doing the cleanup. Now it was time to just take the plunge and try this garbage soup. It was fantastic! All those flavors put together tasted wonderful. Don't ask me why, but it was good. Garbage soup became a menu regular in our household, it used the leftovers and saved money, we had that soup about every two weeks after that.

We were lucky we had the rest of the night to ourselves Gary was going to Eileen's right after work and would be spending the night and we weren't worried about Roy showing up any time to soon. Although I had to think about what I was going to do about the work situation. He needed the job that much I knew as far as his living arrangements I thought it was best if he was on his own from now on. There is no way that Steve and I could live with him after what he had done. The more we sat there and discussed it the closer I came to the realization of what I was going to do about his job. He wasn't going to have one. I wasn't going to deal with him I figured I shouldn't have to deal with him at work either. Whatever his probation officer decided to do with him wasn't my problem any more. The question was how I was going to reach him to tell him the news of his unemployment. I wasn't sure where he was and who he was staying with. I had to call my sister back and see if she knew where he was. I headed for the phone in the living room, sat on the couch and dialed her number.

"Hello."

"Cindy, it's your brother the tall, good looking one. The tall dumb one has left the building!" I could hear her chuckling as I continued. "Do you know where Roy is staying? I need to find him, like it or not I have to talk to him for a few minutes there's some thing I have to tell him tonight."

"Why, what is it that you have to tell him that's so important? Can't this wait a few days? After what has happened I don't think it's a good idea that you two talk, give yourself some time Michael, your still to mad at him to have any kind of logical conversation." I was a little surprised that she was not telling me what I needed to know.

"I just need to talk to him, do you know where he is or don't you?"

"Well yea I know where he is but before I tell you do you know what you did to him when you beat him up last night? Just how many times did you hit him?" Now she was getting indignant with me and I couldn't understand why.

"Cindy, I need to talk to him, it's about work and I don't really want to talk to him at all, believe me he's the last person on earth that I want to talk now right now. Will you tell me or not? I have to get in touch with him, I'm not trying to start anything or to scream or yell, It will take me about thirty seconds to say what I have to say and then I'll hang up on him, I'm not giving him the chance to say anything after I tell him what I need to." There was silence on the other end of the phone and it suddenly dawned on me why she was being like this, he was sitting there with her right now.

"Okay so tell me what I did last night when I beat him up, but I didn't beat him up Cindy I hit him one time, you can ask Steve or Gary they were both there and saw the whole thing." Now I was getting pissed because she was trying to figure a way for him not to have to get on the phone with me. I couldn't believe she was trying to protect him.

"First of all you did break his nose second you did break his cheek bone and you also gave him a facial concussion, to be honest with you Michael, he looks like shit he looks more like he's been in an accident. I find it hard to believe that you only hit him once. Your not a fighter to start so that's why I find it hard to believe that this damage on his face was from one hit, you sure no one else hit him?"

"I can't believe your saying this to me, he got what he deserved, it was from me and me only no one else hit him, they helped him get packed and out of the house before I came downstairs or something. But since you won't let me talk to him then I'll tell you. He's fired, tell him not to bother coming in tomorrow I'm done with him. I gave him a helping hand to get out of Leavenworth, I gave him a job so that the military would release him, I made sure he had a place to live and for the first couple of months he used my car like it was his. He gave me nothing in return, he didn't even put gas in the car when he used it. And every time he did use it he would just throw his trash in the back seat, like it was some kind of trash barrel. Did he happen to mention any of those things to you Cindy? I'm sure he didn't, he doesn't want you to know what happened, and he asked me not to tell anyone in the family and I didn't. And what does that mother fucker do to me when I ask him not to repeat something because I didn't want the family to find out. He ran to you told you part of the story and then lied to you so that you would call Mom and Dad and tell them. So now I'm on the outs with Mom and Dad and does he fucking care? Hell no, not Roy, not Mr. Fuck Everyone else oh no. So now you know about his stint in Leavenworth why don't you ask him if it's okay to tell Dad that one. He'll have a fit Dad will be absolutely pissed at Mr. Wonderful son. And he won't be talking to him either. Perhaps tomorrow I'll write a letter since I can't talk to our parents at this moment thanks to Mr. Wonderful." I was fuming I was so pissed at him again if he had been standing in front of me I would have hit him again, and I would have aimed directly at his nose and face the best that I could. In less

than twenty four hours he had me fuming again.

Steve had come back into the living to hear about half way through the conversation. He came over to sit by me and put his arm around me and just held me by the waist until I was finished saying what I had to say. I listened

again to silence on the other end of the phone. But I was done saying what I had to say it was her move to say anything now.

"I don't know what to say I didn't know about that last piece of information Michael I now fully understand why your so pissed. I'm going to let him sleep here tonight with us. I think that he and I have some talking to do when we're done here. I am not taking your side or his since your both related to me. I can't take any sides, but rest assure little brother I'll get my point across to Roy before we go to bed tonight about how I feel with what he's done to you. I'm sorry, you don't deserve this, your always the one that puts out a helping hand, you always have for me so I'm sure you did nothing less for him. I should have known there was more to the story than I was being told. Forgive me?"

"I don't have to forgive you for anything Cindy you've done nothing wrong, as usual it's him that's screwed things up and now he's going to pay the price of going one step to far." I had gotten a few deep breaths in and wasn't feeling as hot as I had been. I said my goodnight to her and hung up the phone, physically I was totally drained again there was no way I could keep up this emotional upheaval another day. Two in a row was enough. Steve leaned back on the sofa and pulled me with him. He cradled me so that I was laying partly against his chest and the rest I was in his left arm. I laid my head down on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Nothing was being said we just sat there for about ten minutes or so. Steve broke the silence.

"You okay now?" Always the one to make sure every thing was alright.

"Not sure yet pal, not sure. I don't know why he does these things, why does he hurt people like he does and then he acts like it's nothing. I mean I can see him sitting there at my sister's, that's where he is by the way, I can see him sitting there talking to her and making me sound like I savagely beat him because of the way he looks right now. My sister insinuated that I must have hit him more than once or that you and Gary had something to do with to." I was starting to talk a little fast relaying the phone conversation over again.

"Don't get yourself going again, come on don't do this to yourself Michael. You want to smoke one to calm down?" I didn't really feel like smoking a bone but thought maybe he was right and that it wasn't a bad idea.

"Yea, let's light one up. You get every thing and I'll just sit here, do you mind or do you want me to get everything. I know you cleaned the kitchen

while I was on the phone with her and it was my turn to wash up and clean up."

"It's alright you just sit here I'll be back in a second in the meantime put the television on and find something for us to watch. And you can get us something to drink and not with alcohol I just want something to keep my mouth wet while we smoke one."

"You got it Sad Sack!" I was forcing myself to loosen up I didn't want to screw up his evening, the night before had been enough.

"Lock the front door on your way back down Steve, no one's coming over unless your expecting someone." I had to yell to make sure he heard me by now he was already up the steps and in the other corner of the house.

"You got it." He screamed it. Made me feel like I had to check my hearing to make sure he didn't make me go deaf with that scream of his.

We spent the night relaxing on the couch and watching television by the end of the night I had completely relaxed, the bone we smoked had done it's job and I was ready to hit the bed and just sleep the night away. And what made it sweeter was the fact that Steve and I weren't opening in the morning Gary was. So we were both looking to sleeping in and having a nice quiet morning just the two of us.

It was the doorbell that woke me up whoever it was kept ringing it. I stumbled out of bed grabbed my pants and was putting them when I heard Steve start to move.

"Who the hell is that at this hour?" Steve was still half asleep when he asked that.

"I have no clue, but this better be good, I really wanted to sleep in this morning and enjoy a morning with just you and I and it's only quarter after seven." I was wondering who the hell would be ringing my door at this hour and so insistently. Their constant ringing on that bell was starting to piss me off. By now I was part way down the stairs.

"HOLD ON, I"M COMING." I was yelling because I wanted they to stop.

"YEA, HOLD ON." I was finally at the door and turned the doorknob to open it. My heart stopped the one person I wasn't expecting was standing before me and I was totally surprised to see her standing there. It was my mother. What the hell was she doing here. By the look on her face I'm not sure at that moment I wanted to know.

"Mom, you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me the last time we spoke. Oh no, wait, you spoke I wasn't given the chance to say anything, I seem to remember someone screaming name calling and then just hanging up." She just stood there and looked at me for a minute, I don't know where that came from, I had never in my life spoken to my mother like that, then I just closed the door.

"Who was that Mike?" I only caught half of what you said.

"Was it your brother?"

"Oh no, that wasn't my brother, my mother is standing on the other side of the door." I hadn't moved yet and Steve came up to me and turned me to face him.

"Why don't we let her in?" That god damned voice of reasoning again. Why oh why did he have to use that now. The doorbell rang again.

"Come on, let's just hear what she has to say, for whatever reason she has come here to see you, your mother has never come here uninvited. Come on, please, let's just let her in. If things get to out of line with her I promise to personally show her out the door, okay?" I didn't want to, she has said some pretty nasty and hurtful things on the phone and never once asked me anything about how I felt about it.

"You let her in, I'm going to make some coffee, you want some."

"Yes, and make some tea for you mother Michael, and don't ask me anything just do as I say, I'm not on her side about anything I just know your mother likes tea and IF she ends up staying a little she'll want some, now go, go on do as I say this time.:" I hate reasoning right now I really do, but it was what he did best sometimes. I turned off towards the kitchen and Steve opened he door to let her in.

"Come in Mrs. Mathews, please come on in."