Starting Over Chapter 3 By: Jordan Note: Hi everyone. I finally managed to get some time to write this chapter, so it's out. It's a bit different from the previous two, as there's a lot more dialogue, which is not my forte, so I don't think it's quite as good, but I'll let you decide for yourself. To those of you who have asked when the guys of NSync would be making an appearance, well this is that chapter, they, well at least one of them, do. I hope you enjoy it, and e-mail to tell me what you think at wmj29@hotmail.com Thanks.
Thank yous: Hey, I'd like to thank everyone who's written me since I started writing. You guys know who you are. I'd also like to thank Adam, Joey and Dara for their support. I'd like to send a special thank you out to Jason, your kind words have meant a lot to me lately. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I don't know NSync, nor do I have any idea about their sexual preferences. This story does not imply anything to who they really are, it's fiction. If you are under the age of eighteen, or not of a legal age to be reading this type of story, please leave. The same applies to anyone who finds gay lifestyles offensive, plus you're an idiot. For those of you who want to read this story, I hope you enjoy it.
Last Time: Awaiting me at the bottom was Maddie. She obviously had something to say.
"What is it Maddison?" I asked, obviously not thrilled at the idea of speaking to her.
"Is there nothing I can say to make you forgive me? Some way to make you see that I didn't mean what I said last night?" she asked.
The thought had never occurred to me that perhaps it was because of the alcohol she had consumed last night that she had acted so rashly. "No Maddie. You obviously meant what you said, and I can't be around someone who thinks like that." I said.
"It was the alcohol talking. I don't drink, usually." she said, trying to make excuses for herself.
"Maddie, the thoughts obviously had to come from somewhere inside of you. The alcohol just made it easier for you to express yourself. Face it Maddie, you're nothing but a hypocritical old woman. You act like your life is wonderful, but it's just an act. There are things beyond your control in life, deal with them." I said, releasing a small portion of the animosity that had built up inside of me.
I turned away from her, and walked outside. I walked beside the rose bed, the last petals falling as I walked by, as if in salutation. They signified many things for me that day: a dead friendship, a betrayal, and a beginning chapter in the history of my life.
Starting Over Chapter 3 By: Jordan
The club was better than Kate had said. Of course that could have been because living in a small town, where there is only one club, you don't get to see good clubs. The music was blaring, but not offensively so. The bass encompassed you, controlling your every move; the way you walked, the way you danced, the way you acted. Kate's gig hadn't started yet, it would be another twenty minutes while they got ready.
The club was packed. There was a line up of about one hundred people outside, and about two or three times that inside. The dance floor was a hive of activity, with couples grinding to the heavy beat, and everyone else just dancing with everyone around them. There seemed to be a festive mood inside, for some odd reason, and it felt good to be there. My feelings towards Maddie were still the same, but had receded somewhat, keeping me within the grasp of sadness's talons, yet allowing my mind to wander to other domains of life.
I stood by the bar, with a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade in my hand, trying not to drink too quickly. I watched the anonymous forms sway and dance to the music, reminding me of a churning ocean, constantly in motion.
I seemed to be the only person in the club that wasn't having a great time. I made my way out onto the dance floor, and began to move with the wave of people surrounding me in hopes of getting a hold of some of their infectious mood. I felt out of my element there, not being used to the club scene. I made my way off of the dance floor, finding an empty booth in the corner.
I positioned my drink in front of me, close enough to grab, but not easily, preventing me from downing the liquid quickly, and ultimately making a fool of myself. I knew my limits when it came to alcohol, due to some unfortunate experiences in the past. My fingers were placed around the neck of the now nearly empty bottle, as I tipped it down to the table's surface, not quite allowing the liquid to fall out.
A hand was placed on my table, causing me to look up at the person who was intruding on my thoughts of self pity and hatred. In front of me stood Kate, with a huge smile on her face.
"Hey Seb, you don't look like you're having too much fun." she said, with a hint of sadness in her voice and eyes.
"Well, I don't really know anyone, and this is a straight club, well by the looks of it anyway, so I can't just go up and ask some guy to dance or go talk to any guy, `cause they're all either way too drunk, or after some hot chick." I responded, letting her know a bit more than I had intended.
"Sorry to hear that, but I gotta go do final prep, so I'll catcha later." she said, turning away to go finish getting ready.
I looked around the club, wondering why I had come. I had yet to find some sort of comfort in this place, and the thought of getting totally wasted did not seem too appealing to me. I looked over to the bar, and saw a figure hunched over, looking into a glass of some clear liquid. He looked vaguely familiar, but my mind couldn't put a name to the person sitting by himself at the bar.
I walked over to him, hoping to find at least a conversation with someone instead of the tedious boredom of being alone.
"Mind if I sit?" I asked, as I approached the obviously depressed figure by the bar.
Even though my mind and heart hurt from the events of the week, I still found it in me to think of him and not myself. This had been a habit of mine when I was younger, always putting everyone else's problems before my own. Sometimes it was a good thing, but usually it just gave me a sense of loathing towards my friends as they told me of their petty problems, thinking that I was lucky for never having any of their problems. Little did they know... ignorance is bliss, I suppose.
His nod was barely distinguishable, but enough for me to move into the seat next to him.
"You look how I feel." I said, trying to take his attention away from his own problems.
"You feel like shit? Well you sure don't look it." he said, with an American accent, cluing me in a bit more to his identity, but I was still ignorant to who he was.
"I've grown accustomed to hiding how I feel. It's something I learned growing up." I said, ordering a glass of ice. The bartender looked at me with confusion written on his brow, but moved away to get me my order.
"What does that mean? Why did you learn to hide what you felt?" the guy seemed to be more determined to find out about my problems than to reveal his own.
"Well, let's just say that I have hid who I am from everyone I know except for three people, none of which are my family, and two of which I met only a week ago." I said, hoping that my answer was too vague for him to grasp.
He sat straight up on his stool and looked at me with surprise.
"You're gay?"
I almost choked on the piece of ice that I was sucking on. I've heard that sucking on ice is a sign that you are horny, and I must admit that at that moment I was thinking some fairly erotic thoughts about this young man sitting next to me, his curly hair almost glowing in the light from the club spotlights.
"WHAT?" I said, shocked at the information he had been able to derive from my answer. "How the hell did you know that from what I told you?"
"Because that's the same thing I'm going through, except I haven't told anyone, well I guess I just told you now, but other than that..." he revealed to me.
I was somewhat surprised, but at the same time I wasn't. I had had a sneaking suspicion, it was one of those things you could just feel, running up the back of your spine, all the way to your neck, where it felt like a million tendrils, caressing the base of your skull.
He quickly covered his mouth, beginning to turn red, and then a slight look of fear came into his eyes after he revealed himself to me. That was the final clue I needed for me to clue into who the guy I had been talking to was.
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I know it would ruin your career, wouldn't it?" I said, trying to get him to feel comfortable talking to me again. The fear subsided in his eyes, leaving the marine blue eyes looking peaceful.
"It feels good to finally tell someone, doesn't it." I said, speaking from experience.
"Yeah, but I don't think I can tell the guys. I don't know if they'd understand. J.C. probably would, `cause he's always been there for me, but I don't know about the rest of them."
"Well, don't tell anyone that you don't think will understand until you're ready. Believe me, I found out the hard way."
"What happened to you?"
"I don't really want to go into that, but let's just say she didn't take it too well."
"Sorry to hear that. Is that why you feel like shit?"
"Yeah, basically. Plus the fact that I have to live in a hotel for another few days before I can move into my new place." I said, starting to dread going back to the dark hotel room, with it's impersonal atmosphere, and depressing decor.
"That sounds rough. I'm glad I haven't gone through that, I mean it would be too stressful for me with touring and everything. How are you holding out?"
"I'm doing all right I guess, but it is definitely an unneeded stress right now, I just moved here."
"Where'd you live before?"
"On the West Coast, a little island." Our conversation was cut short by a voice over the speaker system.
"We have a special treat for you tonight. We have with us tonight a group of three amazingly talented young ladies from right here in Toronto. Would you please welcome Naiveté!" There was a small applause before heavy bass started to pour from the speakers. A smooth silky voice cut through the bass, and started to sing a few ad-libs, as the other two voices quickly joined her when the first chorus started.
A spotlight had fallen onto a small stage that had been set up against the far wall. The room was still big enough for plenty of people to dance, and the two other floors provided even more room. Kate stood at the front of the group, wearing a tight fitting, white t-shirt that read: Tease. Her hip hugging jeans played up her sexiness, and gave her an aura of sensuality, with her long dirty blond hair flying from underneath a navy blue bandana.
This was a side of Kate I had yet to experience, and it left me a little awe-struck. She seemed comfortable on the stage, with her two group mates. The song ended minutes later, receiving a huge applause from the people in the club.
"Thank you!" Kate said, with a huge smile covering her face. She looked over to me and winked. She had obviously been watching me with the young man to whom I had been talking.
"How you guys doin' tonight?" another girl of Naiveté said, stepping up beside Kate. "We're gonna do another song in just a second, but we just want to introduce ourselves to you. I'm Emma, this is Kate to my right, and that's Sarah hiding in the back, she's a bit shy. We are Naiveté. Anyway, here's our next song, it was written by Kate and myself, and produced by Sarah. I hope you enjoy it."
Again bass filled the speakers, but at a slower pace, signifying an oncoming ballad. I looked over to the man whom I had been speaking with, Justin Timberlake of the famed group `NSync.
"What do you think?" I asked, wondering as to the opinion of someone who had been in the music industry.
"They're pretty good, but they'd be way better if they had a choreographer and professional stylists. Their voices are great and they sure have stage presence, well except for that one girl, Sarah." he said, giving me a professional point of view.
"Kate's one of my friends, she was the second person I told. She's great." I said.
"How were you able to tell her? I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell anyone but you." he asked, returning to our earlier conversation.
"I really don't know. We were out to dinner a couple of days ago, with her mom. We were on our third bottle of wine, mostly between me and her mother, because Kate was driving. I guess the wine kind of loosened my tongue and I just told them. Kate's mom is the one who didn't take it too well. I was living with them at the time because she was one of my mom's old friends, and I didn't have anywhere to stay. She kicked me out, and said some pretty harsh stuff." I said, my departed feelings slowly creeping back to me.
"Sounds shity. Sorry." he said, obviously regretting having asked the question.
"It's okay, it's something I have to deal with. What about you? How are you handling not telling your friends and family?"
" Well, it's hard, but you obviously know that. It's like there's some sort of invisible weight on my shoulders that I just can't get rid of. Being on tour helps, you don't really get any time to yourself, so I can't think about it. It's only when we stop for a day's rest or something that it's hard, like today. We're performing tomorrow night the Air Canada Centre. Are you coming?" he asked, almost eagerly.
"I just got here last week, so I couldn't get tickets. I would have loved to go though. I've never been to a concert." I said, disappointed.
"Oh, well, I've got ya covered." he reached into his jacket pocket and brought something out. He handed me the four objects. I don't think my smile could have gotten any bigger than it was at that moment. I looked up to him, with ecstatic eyes.
"They're two tickets to the show tomorrow night for you and Kate, plus two backstage passes so you can come and see me and the guys after the show. Can you come?" he asked, looking like a child, pleading with his mother for some candy.
I started to laugh at him. I jumped off of my stool, and gave him a big hug. "I wouldn't miss it." I said.
He started laughing at me, obviously humoured by my sudden actions and my childlike glee.
"You wanna get out of here and go get some coffee or something, I'm not really in a party mood." Justin asked shyly.
I smiled, amazed at how down to earth Justin was. It was like he wasn't even a part of the music industry, that he wasn't a famous singer with a heavenly voice.
"Sounds good to me, I'm not really the partying type, but I have to tell Kate before I can leave." I stood to go find some way to get a message to Kate. "I'll be right back." I said as I started to make my way into the crowd. A hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to see who it was that had stopped me. I was met with a pair of deep blue eyes, and a curly mess of hair in front of me.
"I'll come with you. I hate being alone." Justin said, and we continued into the dense crowd, moving with the heavy beat.
It took us the rest of the song to get to the front of the stage. I was about to call out to Kate when a security guy stopped me.
"Can I help you?" the muscled bouncer asked in a deep, rough voice.
"I just need to talk to Kate for a second." I said, trying to push past him, annoyed by being detained by a power trip from a club bouncer.
"Well, they're not gonna want to talk to you." he said.
I was about to say something rude to him when Justin stopped me. "Maybe I can help." he whispered in my ear.
"Hi, I'm Justin Timberlake. You might recognise me from a group called `NSync." he said, obviously playing the celebrity card.
"Yeah right, and I'm J.C. Those kind of games don't work with me kid." he said, not even looking over to Justin.
"Excuse me, but..." was all Justin was able to say before a shrill scream escaped from a girl behind us.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!"
A chorus of screams broke out from around the dance floor. The bouncer's head jerked to the side, finally giving Justin a look over. His face paled when faced with the realisation that he had just mocked a celebrity to his face.
"I'm s..s..sorry Mr. Timberlake. Right this way please." the bouncer said, turning to give us an escort over to the girls of Naiveté. "Here they are sir, please take all the time that you need."
I smiled as the bouncer took off, trying to distance himself from the position he had placed himself in. I punched Justin playfully in the arm, trying to bring a smile across his face. It didn't take long, he had been suppressing his laugh until the bouncer had left and now it came bursting out.
"Did you see his face? That has got to be the best reaction I've seen so far. Definitely one for the record books. I only wish I had had a camera." he sputtered out.
"Hey Seb, whatcha doin' up here? You wanna sing?" Kate asked teasingly, as she approached us.
"No, but he might." I said, pointing towards Justin.
Kate's face flushed a shade of crimson I had never seen in my life. I doubled over in laughter.
"Another one for the record books!" I laughed out. Justin quickly joined me in my laughter. "Sorry. You just should have seen your face. He doesn't want to sing. We just came here to tell you that we're jettin'. We're gonna go grab some coffee. You guys were great. Even Justin thought so." I said.
Kate just stood there, still dumbfounded by Justin's presence.
"Uhm, okay. I'll catch up with you later, k?" she finally stuttered out.
"Sure, but one more thing. What are you doin' tomorrow night?" I asked.
"Uhm, nothing, I don't think. Why?"
"Well, I somehow got two tickets to `NSync's concert tomorrow night." I said, smiling at Justin. He smiled back, with a glimmer in his eye. What was with that? I wondered.
"WHAT!? Are you kiddin' me? This isn't a nice joke if it is." she said, not totally grasping the situation.
"Oh, and it gets better. I got backstage passes too." I said, beaming, from ear to ear.
"Holy shit!" Kate breathed, her jaw almost dropping to the floor.
"Kate, we gotta do another song." Sarah's voice came from the stage.
"Uhm, sure. Ya, well I gotta go perform. I'll talk to you later Seb. Nice meeting you Justin." she said as she ran back over to the stage.
"Okay, well I guess we're outta here." I said, turning towards the door.
"So you're Seb?" Justin asked once we had gotten outside.
"Oh yeah. I'm Sebastian King, nice to meet you." I said, extending my hand. I had forgotten to introduce myself to him. I already knew his name, so I hadn't seen the need for introductions.
"Nice to meet you to." Justin said, chuckling softly and grabbing my hand.
"Do you know your way around here? I have no clue where the hell we are." I said. It was my first time in this part of town, and I was totally disoriented.
"I only know my way back to my hotel. So where do we go?" he asked.
"How `bout we just walk until we find a place we want to go into." I suggested, not really caring where we went.
My heart seemed lighter inside the cavity of my chest, as if suddenly liberated from a dreadful prison that had been encasing it for too long. What was this? I had never had this feeling before and it scared me.
"Sounds good to me. Left, right or straight?" he asked, obviously not wanting to make the decision.
I looked straight ahead and didn't see anything of interest down the road. A wind blew through my hair and clothes, chilling me. I shivered, and began to look for somewhere near by to go into.
"How about right." I said, just wanting to get moving again, as I felt another chill run through my body.
We started to head in the direction I had suggested, walking at a casual pace. The smell of coffee penetrated my silent thoughts, as we came to an intersection.
"Smells like we went in the right direction." Justin said, breaking the silence between us.
We walked over to the entrance of the small coffee shop. It was odd to me that a place like this would be open so late, but I guess things are open later in the city. Justin opened the door, and waited for me to walk in.
"Oooh, a true gentleman!" I said, giggling slightly.
"Ladies first." he said, pushing me through the door to get me back for laughing at him.
We laughed together, starting to draw stares from the other people in the coffee house. We walked over to the counter, where a girl in her mid teens was standing.
"Hi, can I get a Mocha please." Justin said, smiling at the young lady.
"For here or to go?" she said, not really looking at us, just acknowledging that we were there.
"For here, please." Justin said, never faltering in his politeness.
"That'll be $3.50, please." she said, finally looking up to collect the fee.
She stared, draw dropping, eyes bulging, and face blushing at Justin, while he got out his wallet.
I placed some money on the counter before he had a chance to find some Canadian money in his wallet full of American green backs.
"Hey!" he said, as the girl gave me my change after she had snapped out her daze.
"I can be a gentleman too, ya know." I said, mocking him. "Can I get a tall, hot chocolate, please."
"That's not fair. You shouldn't be paying for me."
"Oh, and why not?"
"I don't know, you just shouldn't." he said, not having thought his argument through. "Well I've got the next thing we buy."
"So we're doing something else after this then?" I said, happy that we wouldn't just be going our separate ways.
"Of course. Unless you don't want to." he said, looking a little disappointed after saying his last sentence.
"Oh no, I do want to, I just figured you'd want to go back to your hotel so you'd be able to perform tomorrow." I said.
That same look came into his eyes after I had finished my sentence. A smile graced his lips, and a sparkle shined in his eyes. What did this mean? All of the signs seemed to point me in the direction I wanted to go, but I didn't know how to approach the subject.
"Well, I've performed on empty before, and I can do it again." he said, obviously not caring for how he'd feel tomorrow.
We sat down, and looked around the place. It was kind of a cozy environment, it had a gas fireplace against one wall, and artwork hung from every part of the earthen tones painted on the walls.
"Can I ask you something personal?" Justin asked, obviously curious.
"Sure, what do you want to know?" I said, not really seeing any point in hiding anything from him.
"Well, have you ever had a boyfriend?"
Thoughts raced through my mind once more, wondering if he was hinting at something, or was it just wishful thinking on my part.
"No, only my best friend at home knows that I'm gay, so there hasn't really been any way for me to have one." I responded.
"Hmm." was all that he said, leaving unanswered questions in my head.
I looked intently at him, looking for some sort of a sign that he wanted the same thing that I did. My studying of Justin's angelic face was interrupted by a waitress bringing us our drinks.
"Thanks." he said, smiling at the girl.
He looked back over to me, and gave me a questioning look, as I diverted my eyes to avoid eye contact. I didn't know if I wanted him to see what I was thinking, yet. We sipped slowly on our steaming drinks, testing them to make sure they wouldn't burn us. The warm sweetness of my hot chocolate relaxed my body, and lulled my mind into a state of peace.
"Why'd you order hot chocolate?" he asked me, again breaking through my thoughts.
"I don't like coffee, and I'm pretty much hooked on chocolate." I said.
"Do you not like the taste of coffee at all? Or do you just not like straight coffee?" he asked.
"I just don't like the taste of coffee. I love the smell though, especially in the morning."
"Well, you sure do drink it quickly." he said, pointing at my almost empty cup.
"You're just slow." I said, cracking a wide grin for him.
He smiled back, looking me straight in the eyes. I saw something flicker in those deep, azure eyes of his. He tipped his cup up, and downed the rest of it.
"There," he said, " I beat you."
"Well, I'm done now." I said, as I lowered my now empty cup. "Do you want to go somewhere?"
"Sure." we stood and moved to the doors.
As we opened the doors, a cool breeze once again chilled me. Justin yawned, and stumbled a bit.
"You should go back to your hotel." I said, seeing how tired he was.
"You're probably right, but I don't really want to." he said. I didn't want him to either, but I knew he had to. I signalled to a cab, and we jumped in as it pulled to the curb.
"Where to?" the cabby asked.
"The Metropolitan, please." Justin said.
The warm cab relaxed us even more, and we both slouched in the seats. Again Justin yawned, obviously exhausted. We arrived at his hotel, minutes later. I paid the cabby, and stepped out.
"I thought we agreed I would pay for the next thing." he said, annoyed that I once again paid.
"Yeah well, I lied." I said, with a big grin. "Hurry up, it's cold out here." I said, trying to get him to get out of the cab faster.
"You're such a baby."
"Yeah well.." I was silenced as a pair of soft, warm lips covered mine, expelling the chill from my body.
Well, did you like it? Hope so. What's gonna happen next? Well, I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. Please let me know what you thought, whether it be good or bad @ wmj29@hotmail.com Take care. Jordan.