Standing on the Edge of Forever

With all due thank to PapaWereBear69@yahoo.com and UrsusMajr@makaw.net for their blessing and support.

1

The gray, sullen sky matched my mood as I stood over the stone bearing the date etched upon my heart. The strains of the song, Without You, from the musical Rent floated from the open windows of my car.

"Hi, Joe," I said softly, through a tight throat. "It's been a year since I lost you. I miss you so much. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of forever without you. I know you tried to talk me into going out on you when you were getting so sick. I couldn't do it then, and I really don't want to now. But Tom insists on making me go out tonight with him and Larry. I'm trying. I will always love you."

I kissed my fingertips then pressed them against the name plate. I stood for a moment, my stinging eyes tightly closed. With a deep breath, I ran the back of my hand across my eyes and returned to my car to head home.

I stood naked in front of my closet, flipping through the hangers.

"What am I going to wear?" I mused. I wear a suit all week, so ain't going to wear one out. I pondered my leathers for a moment, inhaling the rich aroma, then pushed them aside.

"What's the point?" I growled. "'Bout all we've got around here are twinks and queens. Not even worth it."

I was pawing through my shirts when a black slip of fabric fell to the floor. I picked it up and looked at it sadly. It was one of my muscle tanks. Joe's favorite. Its twin was in a box in the basement. The last time we had worn them had been at that street fair. Was funny how many people had asked if we were wrestlers. Well, sometimes, but not the kind they were thinking about...mostly.

I stood looking at it, feeling my guts roil.

"Fine," I sighed finally.

I slipped it on and checked myself out in the mirror. It wasn't much of a covering. My meaty pecs were on full display, tattoos showing through the thick fur. I turned so I could see the thin strip of black fabric running down the center of my broad back, stopping just above my hairy ass.

"At least I've stayed steady at the gym," I said, turning back toward the mirror, running my hand over my belly. Nothing I did seemed to help with that, but I was okay with being a muscle bear. There was more silver in my beard than the last time I'd worn this shirt. That didn't bother me. I'd been going gray since I was eighteen. When most guys my age were trying to convince bouncers they were old enough to get into the bars, I got in, no problem. Actually, back when I first met Tom, I had to show him my drivers license to prove how young I actually was.

I padded to the dresser and pulled out a pair of briefs and socks. I pulled on a pair of baggy jeans and looked at myself in the mirror again. With a scowl, I pulled out a bulky sweatshirt and tugged it over my head.

"Let's get this over with," I grunted.

I pulled into the bar's parking lot, rather surprised at the number of vehicles, quite a few of which had out of state plates. I found a spot near Tom's truck where he and his current boyfriend were waiting.

"Was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up," Tom said, looking me up and down. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Tom was a solid fireplug of a man. Short and stocky, shaved head and lots of tattoos. His mustache hung down either side of his mouth, the tips going gray. Couldn't ask for a better friend.

"So, you ready?" asked Larry, with a glint in his eye. He was a young, slender guy with dark curly hair. He'd made a play for me, but even if I had been up to dating, he just wasn't my type. He was Tom's though.

"For what?" I said with a shrug.

"It's Bear Night," Larry replied.

"Bears? Here? You've got to be kidding me."

"Seriously," Tom said as we walked to the bar. "Some local bears were at Bear Pride and got some of the Chicago guys to set this up. Been a lot of talk about it on the web."

I let out a grunt as we reached the bar. A balding bear with a thick reddish beard was manning the door.

"Brian?" he said, a grin splitting his round face.

"Neil? What are you doing here?" I said with surprise.

"Well, tonight was our idea. John's in working the bar."

"So you two know each other?" Tom said with a raised brow.

"We grew up around the corner from each other. He was in my sister's class. His sister and brother were a year and three ahead of me." I snorted. "Carla always thought you had the hots for her."

If they noticed my wince, they didn't say anything.

"For her brother, maybe," Neil said with a wink.

"Trust me. You weren't the only gay man she thought had the hots for her," I said, avoiding his statement. "She was a hag but didn't know it."

With a laugh, he waved us in.

I went in, fully expecting the usual crowd of mincing twinks, but was pleasantly surprised. The bar was filled with burly, masculine guys. I scanned the room and my eyes were drawn to a big bear of a man near the back of the bar watching a couple shoot pool. He had to be at least 6'6" and built like a fucking tank. He was wearing a white wife beater with a battered leather jacket over the top. A black leather cowboy hat shaded his face as he sipped his beer. So much fur spilled out the neck of his tank, it looked as if his bushy black beard continued all the way down his chest.

"Woof!" I grunted quietly, a long forgotten lust swelling my cock.

At that moment, he looked up and locked eyes with me. He smiled, showing even white teeth and I turned quickly, feeling my face warm. Guilt ripped through me like an icy blade, twisting in my heart.

I made my way up to the bar, telling myself I that I didn't care if anyone even noticed me.

Didn't I?

"Give me a Coke," I growled to the bartender.

"Just a Coke?" John said with a welcoming grin.

"Yeah. I don't really drink any more. When I really need a drink is usually when I know I shouldn't drink. And trust me, I really need a drink."

He laid his hand on my arm, eyes sympathetic, not saying anything.

"So what do you think of our Bear Night?" he said at last.

"Not the usual crowd," I said, glancing over my shoulder to find the bear still watching me. I felt a fluttering in my stomach.

"Yeah. We were able to get some guys from Chicago to come out. Nice to see some real men out for a change."

He leaned in toward me.

"Present company included."

I chuckled weakly.

"And apparently I'm not the only one to think so," he said with a wink and a nod toward the back of the bar.

I glanced back and again he met my eyes. Desire and guilt warred within my chest, freezing my breath.

"You know him?" I asked, doing my damnedest to not look at him.

"He was at Touche's last night when we dropped off some fliers about tonight. And let me tell you, as hot as he looks now, he's even hotter with less on."

I had to clutch the bar. I'm not sure which head the blood was rushing to.

I picked up my glass and turned to look for Tom and Larry. I tried not to notice that the bear seemed to be watching me. Surely I was just imagining it. Why would someone as hot as him be interested in me? I finally spotted them and walked stiffly through the crowd to where they had found a table.

"Told you this would be fun," Larry said with a grin.

Tom looked at me closely.

"What's wrong?" he said, leaning close.

"Nothing," I lied, gripping my drink tightly.

"Brian, we've known each other for a long time. Something's bothering you"

"It's just...nothing."

He looked at me pensively for a moment.

"He'd want you to be happy. You know that," Tom said softly, gripping my arm.

My muscles tensed, then I forced myself to relax.

"Don't know if I deserve to be happy," I muttered.

Tom released my arm and sat back with a sigh.

"Let's dance," said Larry, tugging at Tom's elbow.

Tom glanced at me, concern written plainly on his face, but I shooed him toward the dance floor. They joined the mass of bodies moving to the pulsing beat leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I stood in the back of the little bar, watching a couple of guys playing pool, preening for my attention. They were kind of cute, but not really my type.

I was sipping my beer, stuck somewhere between amusement and annoyance. Had been in Chicago for a couple days, ending up at Touche's last night, where the bear manning the bar and his partner were handing out fliers about a Bears Night in this town. It was on my way West, so decided to check it out. Don't get me wrong, there were some decent looking bears and cubs at the bar, but for the most part, nothing that really did it for me. A twink with a goatee is still a twink.

Suddenly, I could swear the temperature in the room went up. I looked toward the door and saw a trio had come in together. The short, bald one was talking to a young...well, I'll be nice and say otter. But behind them was a real bear. He looked to be about six foot tall. As for his build, his shoulders were over two feet wide, but as for the rest, I couldn't really tell. He was wearing a pair of baggy jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. He had short, dark hair and a jawline beard, both heavily streaked with silver. I could catch his scent even from across the room, masculinity sprinkled with pain. It was a heady aroma that practically drew me to him. He had stopped while his friends moved towards the bar, staring right at me. When he realized I was looking back, he dropped his dark, brooding eyes and turned to follow the other two, but not before I could see his face darken.

I chuckled to myself and decided to stay for a while longer. I watched him make his way to the bar, the crowd seeming to parting and closing behind him. I found it a little odd that no one stopped him or really even looked at him. I had been drawing a good share of attention, but maybe it was just a matter of being fresh meat.

The one person to notice him was the bartender, but after all, that was his job. They talked for a bit, while he continually glanced my way. Once he got his drink, he turned and scanned the room, again meeting my eyes, and once more, blushing. There was a strange mix of desire and pain in his eyes that tugged at me.

He went to the table his friends had selected and dropped heavily onto a barstool with one more covert glance my way.

The short one began talking to him earnestly, at one point grabbing his arm, but he just sat staring into his glass. The young one tugged at Baldy's elbow and the two of them moved onto the crowded dance floor.

I decided to make my move.

I walked through the crowd, shrugging off the posers trying to catch my attention. I stepped up behind him as he slumped over his drink. Unlike most of these perfumed wannabes, he smelled of nothing more than soap and a masculine musk.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked, bending to bring my lips near his ear.

He jumped, and stammered like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

His eyes betrayed a roil of emotion, panic and shame, desire and pain. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If so, he was truly tormented. He made me want so much to take him into my arms and soothe his cares away, but something told me to approach cautiously.

My head jerked up. I found the big bear standing over me. He was even hotter close up.

"I...uh...um...sure," I stuttered, feeling like a deer in headlights.

"Quite the conversationalist," he said with a smile taking the sting out of his words. "I'm Paul."

"Brian," I said, waving at the chair beside me.

I caught his musky scent, part sweat, part leather, all male. I'm not sure how the blood could rush to my face and my crotch at the same time.

"Part of a threesome?" Paul asked as he sat down, nodding toward the dance floor. As he sat, his knee brushed against my leg, making it hard for me to think.

"Them? No. We're just friends. Well, Tom, the bald one, and I used to be more, but that was a long time ago."

"You from around here, then?"

"Yeah. All my life. You?"

"Been living on the East Coast for a while. Needed a change of scenery. Liking what I see here," he said with a evil grin.

I dropped my eyes, desire and guilt warring within me.

"Or are you seeing someone?" Paul asked casually.

"Only when I close my eyes," I said softly.

"Are you okay?" Paul said, placing a big hand on mine.

I looked up and locked eyes with the big bear. His were a deep, rich brown, seeming to show real concern.

"I'm...I don't know. A year ago today I watched the man I loved die," I responded, looking away.

Paul squeezed my hand, and I looked back to see a flicker of understanding crossing his face.

"I'm so sorry. Let me guess. Your friends think you should be over it by now," he growled, bitterness singing his words.

I could see a familiar pain burn in his eyes.

"Been there yourself, I take it."

"Well, not likely what you did, but I understand loss."

I looked into his eyes and saw the pain his words only hinted at. I squeezed back.

"I hope that someday, you will be able to think about how lucky you were to have him, rather than how you lost him," he said

Our eyes locked.

"I hope so, too."

His friends had to choose that moment to return to the table.

"How're you doing? I'm Tom," said the bald one, extending his hand with a grin, "And this is Larry. Hopefully, Brian remembered to introduce himself."

"Yeah. Yeah he did," I replied, silently cursing.

"Good to hear. Enjoying our first Bear Night?" Tom asked, gesturing to the crowd.

"Pretty tame, so far," I said with a shrug, remembering the seven kinds of hell I raised last night in Chicago. "But the night's still young," I said with a glance at Brian.

Tom grinned at his blush.

"Well, why don't you take your coat off and stay a while? I think Brian would like it if you did."

"Tom!" he shouted.

"Well, if he really wants me to stay...." I said casually, sliding my hand down his knee.

He looked at me and nodded hesitantly.

"Well," I said, slapping his leg, "Looks like this round's on me."

I stripped my jacket off and tossed it onto my barstool. I got their orders and moved up to the bar.

"So, how's it going?" the bartender grinned, apparently recognizing me from Chicago.

"Not like last night," I said and we shared a chuckle. "But things are looking up."

He looked over my shoulder toward our table and nodded, a shadow crossing his face.

"Yeah, Brian," he said, popping the top on a beer bottle. "Kind of surprised to see him out, today of all days."

"Yeah. He told me he lost his partner a year ago," I agreed.

"Afraid that was just the tip of the iceberg. He's been dragged to hell and back the last couple of years. Don't know how he did it. Just between you, me, and the fence post, if it had been me, don't know if I could have gone on," he said somberly. "But he's a good man."

"He's also hot as hell," I said, trying to lighten the mood as I pushed some bills across the bar.

"Funny," he said, with a slow grin, pushing them back. "He was just saying the same thing about you."

I had a lot to think about as I made my way back, bottles clutched in one arm. When I got to the table, Tom and Larry were roaring with laughter.

As he tossed his jacket over the barstool, I inhaled the scent rolling off of him with a shuddering breath. His arms were massive, with hair from his neck down to practically him fingertips. As he walked away, my eyes followed the dark ponytail trailing down his back to where his ass filled out the seat of his jeans like a pair of melons.

"Very nice," Tom said, watching Paul push his way up to the bar. "I think he's as interested in you as you are in him."

"What makes you think I'm interested in him?" I said nervously.

"Brian, you're a grower, not a shower, but right now, you're showing."

They laughed at my discomfort as I tried to adjust myself.

"What's so funny?" asked Paul as he returned with the drinks.

"Oh, we were just wondering if you smoked?" Tom said with a smirk.

"I like a good cigar now and then," Paul replied with a raised brow.

"Well, then you you better be careful with matches around Brian. With as much wood as he's carrying, you could burn the city down."

Paul roared with laughter and plopped into his seat, his hand casually falling into my lap. He squeezed my hard cock through my jeans.

He leaned over and whispered, "That is a lot of wood you've got there. Wherever did you get it?"

I felt my resistance waver and turned to reply softly, "You gave it to me."

He looked into my eyes for a long moment, then leaned in to me. Our lips met, tongues dueling. His arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me close. I couldn't fight it any longer. His lips tasted of beer and a hint of smoke clung to his thick beard. I ran my hands across his broad back, moaning into his mouth as I felt the thick pelt covering his flesh.

"Whoa," Paul panted as we broke apart. His eyes were wide with surprise and pleasure.

"S'about time," Tom crowed.

"You know, you're cute when you blush," Paul said, his own face flushed.

"It's getting a little warm in here," I said, tugging at my collar.

"Well, you are wearing that heavy sweatshirt. Why don't you take it off?"

He hesitated a moment then lifted it off, revealing a thin black muscle tank. And he had the body to wear it. Muscles rippled beneath a thick layer of fur. Not as much as I've got, but then, I'm not your average bear, either. Thick, meaty pecs were crowned with large nipples. Thick veins ran down both of his softball sized biceps. Tattoos decorated his torso, some fairly clear, others almost hidden in his fur. He had a bit of a belly, but that only turned me on even more.

He looked at me shyly, but my obvious approval pleased him.

"Hmmm. Nice things come in big packages," I said, unconsciously licking my lips.

I reached out to stroke his furry belly, then fingered his tit.

"Used to be pierced?" I asked, feeling the slightly misshapened nub.

He shuddered as I caressed his chest, his eyes closing.

"Yeah. They were migrating, so I just took them out."

"They?" I asked archly.

"Yeah, had both done. I know what you're thinking, and yes."

I growled deep in my chest. I don't know if he realized how much he was turning me on.

"So, Paul, where are you staying tonight?" asked Tom, a little too casually.

"Not sure. Yet," I said, flicking his nipple, enjoying the response I was getting from him.

He closed his eyes, stifling a moan.

"I know where I'd like to spend the night," I said leaning in to whisper in his ear. "And if you're not ready, that's fine. But I would like to get to know you better."

He tensed as he considered my words.

"You'd go home with me without a prospect of sex?" he said, searching my face, trying to tell if I was telling the truth. And I was. There was more to him than met the eye.

"Think I can't keep my hands off you?" I said with a wink. "It won't be easy, but I'm willing to try."

"Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious," I said softly, letting him see the truth in my eyes.

He took a deep breath.

"When do you want to go?" he said.

"Now sounds good to me," I said with a grin and grabbed my jacket.

As I followed him toward the door, their catcalls faded into the general roar of the bar.

When we walked outside, the bear at the door, Neil, I think, looked at him, then at me. With a slow grin, he wished us a good night with a nod and a wink.

2

"What the hell am I doing?" I asked myself over and over again on the short drive home. I had just invited a total stranger home with me. But there was something about him. I felt...I felt that I could trust him.

I pulled my Jeep into the garage and gestured for Paul to pull in next to me. It was tight, but his truck fit. Boxes and bags were visible through the shell.

"You weren't kidding about being on the move," I said.

"Yeah. It was time," Paul replied, patting the hood of the truck.

I closed the garage door and led the way into the backyard.

"Whoa," I said, taking in the breathtaking landscaping. Evergreen bushes enclosed the yard giving it a sense of privacy. Much of the yard was taken up by a pond, complete with twin waterfalls, chuckling down from either side of a bridge, leading from the deck attached to the back of the house to a gazebo nestled in the pond. It was like a little forest glade nestled in the middle of the city.

"Yeah. Joe did most of this. He owned a landscaping business."

"It's beautiful," I said as I stepped out onto the gazebo.

"Thanks. I've been trying to keep it up," he said.

I roared with laughter. He looked confused for a second, then he realized what he'd said and chuckled sheepishly.

"Didn't mean it like that," he said with a slight smile.

I sat on one of the benches and patted the seat beside me.

"Tell me about him," I said softly.

He tensed, pain flickering across his face.

"Why do you want to know about Joe?" he said in a strained voice.

"It's obvious he was a big part of your life. I want to know you better."

He fell to the bench and sat looking across the water for a long while. I waited quietly, letting him take his time.

"When I first met Joe, I was in my early 20's. He was in his early 40's."

His eyes flickered to my face, perhaps thinking that might disturb me. If he only knew.

He began telling me his story. I could tell how much he had loved this man, agony making his voice tremble whenever he spoke his name. My heart ached in sympathy.

"I was actually seeing Tom at the time. He and Joe had been old friends. Joe was so? beautiful. Not in a feminine way. He was Sicilian, dark and furry, his thick mustache hiding his lips. The first time I saw him, I wanted him so bad, but I was seeing Tom. Joe slipped me his number, but I put it away, never thinking I'd use it. But I couldn't get him out of my mind. When Tom and I broke up a short time later, I pulled out his number. We went out for dinner a few times before we slept together. Up till then, I had been a bottom. Mostly out of necessity. Joe was the only man I've ever been with who could take me."

"Oh, really?" Paul said with a raised brow.

"Not to toot my own horn, but it's unfortunately true. Not necessarily all that long, just normally very thick."

"Hmmm," he grunted, licking his lips.

"Well, we ended up living here together. Not really sure when it happened. Just one day realized I was always here and all my stuff was, too."

Paul laughed loudly.

"Can't say my parents cared much for it. We'd had the whole 'Where did we go wrong' and 'It's just a phase' thing a few years before that, and then never spoke of it again. Though they seemed more concerned about the age difference than anything else. Strangely enough, it never really was an issue to me. I never thought of him as a 'daddy'. He was just Joe, my love."

My gaze had dropped to the floor when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into a pair of tender eyes.

I took a deep breath and continued.

"Things were great until about three years ago. That's when my world began to fall apart.

"It was three days after my birthday. My family was going on their annual vacation. I couldn't make it. My parents, my sister, her husband, their children...."

I felt my grief clutching my throat, choking off the words I couldn't say.

"What happened?" he asked when the silence grew too long.

"An accident," I whispered. "A car hit their van. The van went into the river. There were no survivors."

I bit my lip to try to keep myself composed, but when Paul put his arm around me and pulled me close, I wept softly on his shoulder. Paul just held me, stroking my hair.

"It was hard," I said eventually, "But Joe helped me through it. Then, the next year, Joe started feeling...that something was wrong. His doctor claimed he had acid reflux. I finally got him to get a second opinion."

"I think I'm afraid to ask," Paul said softly as the silence dragged on.

"They told us he had stage four colon cancer. He wasn't even old enough to be tested for it.

"I felt like the earth had dropped out from beneath me, but apparently I hadn't fallen far enough."

"Why?"

"Then his niece asked the doctor how that would affect his HIV status."

I looked up at Paul, but his expression didn't change.

"What did you do?" Paul asked.

"I went home and cried. Then in the morning, I went up to the hospital. When I walked in the room, he told me he'd understand if I wanted to leave him. I kissed his forehead and told him I was upset he hadn't told me, but it didn't change the way I felt about him. If that was the price I'd have to pay for loving him, it was a small price. Just made us both cry."

I felt him tense slightly, his breath catching a moment.

"All my tests have come back negative. I was lucky in that aspect, I guess.

"I cared for him the best I could. When I was at work, his sister stayed with him. He wanted to die at home. About nine months after his operation, I knew it was time. His sister and her family were here. I told him to not hang on for me, that I'd be okay. Moments later, he was gone."

Paul just held me until my tears dried.

"Sorry," I said as I sat up, scrubbing me face. "Can only imagine what you think of me now."

"Why? Because you're grieving the love you lost? There's nothing wrong with that. I may not understand what you've gone through, but I know what it's like to lose someone important."

I looked up, the question in my red rimmed eyes.

I listened in horror as he told me how he had first lost his family, then learned he would be losing his lover. When he spoke of the secret Joe had kept from him, I winced guiltily. There was something I was keeping from him, but unless something happened, it was better that he didn't know.

His eyes dropped to the floor, pain etched into his profile. I hesitantly grasp his shoulder. I could practically feel the raw grief burning away at him. He struggled to continue, fairly quivering under the strain of maintaining control.

I knew why he was telling me all this. He wanted me to know the possible consequences, giving me the opportunity to leave if it bothered me. I couldn't tell him why it didn't matter to me.

I thought back to what loving Rick had cost me, even though the benefits were...incredible. Even so, it made me a little envious. What it must be like to be on the receiving end of such devotion. Here was this gorgeous man, after all he'd been through, struggling to regain a sense of normalcy.

I pulled him to me, and he struggled weakly to push himself away. But I just held him, stroking his hair, letting him know it was all right to grieve. He finally broke down, weeping heavily against my shoulder.

All I could do was hold him till his tears dried. This man pulled at my heart strings. Feelings stirred within me that I thought I'd never feel again. It was obvious he wasn't telling me this to get my sympathy. He wanted me to maybe understand. And I think in some way, I did.

"I had been with Rick...a long time," I said softly. There was an understatement. "He was a big, red bear. Full blood Scottish. Never could understand why a guy in a skirt is a turn off, but a guy in a kilt is hot."

He chuckled weakly, apparently understanding what I meant.

"Thought it would last forever. But, he was a fireman. In New York. On 9/11."

"Oh, God," he gasped, reaching out to touch my cheek, his own grief thrust aside in an attempt to comfort me. How could anyone not love this man?

I put my hand over his, holding it against my face.

"There was no body ever recovered. Perhaps for the best," I said, unsure how much I should tell him. "Our...extended family was really there for me. It's been over ten years, but...."

We sat in silence, then I couldn't hold back a yawn. It had been a long day.

"Not to break the mood, but I'm beat," I said. "If you've got a couch I can crash on...."

He was so incredibly hot, without seeming to realize it. But as I got to know him, I knew I couldn't force myself on him. Not that I was that kind of guy, but.... He had been hurt so much in his relatively short life, I couldn't add to it.

"I do, but...I think the bed is more comfortable," he said uncertainly.

"Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"I don't know, but I...I don't want to be alone tonight," he said, desire fighting guilt in his eyes.

"You really want to test my resolve, don't you," I chuckled and acquiesced, following him into the house.

"Nice place," I said, looking around. The décor seemed to fit his personality. Lots of bears mixed with some very nice artwork on the walls, mostly landscapes done in a variety of mediums. They were beautiful, but I didn't recognize the artist.

"The...the bedroom's upstairs," he said.

"You're blushing again," I grinned. "I said I won't do anything you're not ready to do."

"Alright," he said and I followed him up the stairs.

"Bathroom's there," he pointed to an open door. "Bedroom's in here. Damn."

He rushed into the room where the bedding was tossed to one side of the bed.

"Sorry. Didn't actually think I'd bring someone home tonight," he said, pulling the sheets up.

"That's okay," I smiled. "Not like it's not getting slept in now."

He looked at me nervously. I shrugged off my jacket and draped it over the bedside chair. I pealed my tank off and tossed it on my jacket

He let out a low growl and I grinned at him.

"You're staring," I said evilly, then chuckled as he blushed again. He had such an air of innocence about him, even though by his own words, he wasn't.

He grabbed the bottom of his sweatshirt and lifted it and his tank off and dropped them on the floor.

"Now you're staring," he said shyly.

"'Cause I like what I see."

I was better able to make out his tattoos. Bear claws mantled his shoulders. Tribal markings curled up from his belt. The fur on his chest was slightly shorter, giving me the impression that the tattoos on his chest were fairly new. It looked like two bears with angel wings, facing inward, clutching a broken heart bearing today's date.

We stripped to our underwear. I was wearing loose boxers. His plain white briefs bulged obscenely.

"Damn," he breathed, staring at me.

"This isn't going to be easy," I said, shaking my head.

"What?"

"Lying next to that and not...well. I'll keep my word."

I think he would have followed suit if I had lost the boxers, but instead, I climbed into bed and pulled the comforter up to my chest.

He turned the lights out. I have excellent night vision as it is, but with the nightlight from the bathroom, I watched him cross the room and slide into the bed next to me.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"For what?"

"For being patient."

I just chuckled.

"Not usually the patient type, but I have a feeling you're worth it."

He hesitantly reached out and touched my hand and I clasp it gently.

It wasn't long before he began gently snoring and I soon joined him in slumber.

3

"Brian."

I knew that voice and it made my throat tighten.

"Please open your eyes, Honey."

I didn't want to, but I couldn't refuse him.

I was sitting on the porch of my cabin. Next to me was....

"Joe," I sobbed, guilt and anguish writhing within me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"For what? For bringing someone home? For wanting, needing someone?"

"I promised you I didn't want anyone else but you," I cried.

"But I never asked that of you. When I got too sick to be with you, I tried to talk you into finding someone to satisfy your needs."

"But I couldn't do that to you."

"I know. And I love you for that, but I'm gone now. You need to let go."

"I don't want to lose you again."

"Brian, I will always be with you," he said, lifting my chin to look into his eyes. They were warm and full of love.

"Just because you meet someone new, doesn't mean you stop loving me. You have a bigger heart than that. You wouldn't stop eating just because you had one great feast, would you?"

"No. I guess not."

"So why would you think you should never love again?"

"I...I...I don't know."

"Take what he's offering. It's okay."

He pulled me to my feet and embraced me.

"Just remember, I will always love you," he whispered as our lips met.

I awoke, lips tingling with a phantom kiss, my dick painfully hard in my shorts. I reached out and found the other side of the bed empty.

"You damn fool," I thought, feeling my stomach tighten. "You had that hot bear in your bed and you let him get away."

I let out a low moan of despair that was answered by a muffled growl. I tensed and realized I couldn't see the light from the bathroom. Soft grunts and quiet cursing was followed by a long, low groan. I heard the toilet flush. Moments later the bathroom door opened and a large form stood in the doorway, with its hand at its face.

I awoke at some point in the early morning. I was aware of the warmth against my side where he had cuddled up to me in his sleep. His arm was thrown across my chest, his head nestled on my shoulder. His leg lay across my crotch, rubbing my hard dick through my boxers as his erection pressed against my hip.

"Fuck," I groaned silently. He was really testing my resolve. It didn't help when he rubbed his face against my fur, softly kissing my chest.

"...always love you..." he muttered in his sleep.

I took a deep, shuddering breath at the feel of his lips against my flesh.

Finally, he rolled away from me, leaving me with a growing wet spot in my boxers.

I laid there for a while, hoping my erection would subside. At last, I knew I had to do something. I slid out of bed and padded silently to the bathroom. I dropped my shorts and sat on the toilet, taking my dick in my hands.

I skinned it back, rubbing the slick pre-cum around the pointed head. I tickled under the skin, imagining it was his tongue. In my mind, I saw his hot, hairy body. He touched me in all the right places. Between spit and my own natural lube, I was getting close. I did my best to keep quiet, but I know I made some noise when I came. I stood, aiming my dick toward the basin, some of it leaking down my fingers.

"Maybe now I'll be able to get back to sleep," I thought, pulling my shorts up. I walked into the bedroom, licking my cum off my hand when he suddenly spoke.

"Paul?" he said softly, pushing up on his elbows.

I wiped my hand dry on my boxers and stepped closer to the bed.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, I don't think so. Is something wrong?"

I laid down next to him before answering him.

"No. I just...well, I woke up and you were snuggled up next to me, with your dick poking me in the hip," I said

He laughed and I smiled sheepishly.

"I told you I would do my best to keep my hands off of you. But...when you rolled back over, I figured I'd better keep my hands to myself if I wanted to restrain myself."

"I wish you hadn't," he said softly.

"Hadn't what?"

"Restrained yourself," he said pulling my hand to the front of his briefs. It felt like he had a steel rod in there.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

He reached across me, his body rubbing across mine as he reached for the lamp. I squinted in the sudden light.

"What do you think?" he said, pushing his briefs down and his erection slapped against my arm.

It was a damn nice specimen. It was only a couple of inches shorter than mine, sticking straight out from his thick bush. It was narrow at the base, swelling out until it tapered back to the pointed head. He was clipped, but certainly wasn't going to hold that against him.

"Damn!" I said, grabbing the hot shaft. "I think you're sure."

"I call this one Mr. Hyde."

"Mr. Hyde?" I leered.

"Yeah. He doesn't come out often," he said. "He usually shows up in the morning. Joe used to tell me if Mr. Hyde paid us a visit, to just give it to him. He's a lot easier to take than Dr. Jekyll."

"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?" I chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure you'll meet him later."

"I guess we'll see," I said, sliding down his body, pulling his briefs off. I dropped my face into his lap and sniffed deeply. Damn he smelled so good.

"Mmmm. I love that smell," he said with a grin, his coarse beard rubbing against my hard shaft, tickling my nuts. His tongue snaked out and licked my hairy sack. "And nice nuts, too. Or do they change, too," he chuckled.

"Well, tighten up."

Paul gripped the shaft and spread the leaking pre-cum over the head.

"A leaker. I like."

He looked up past my furry torso into my eyes.

"What do you think I should do with this," he said evilly.

"Suck it," I begged.

He grinned then dove down on it, the head pushing deep into his throat.

I fell back with a moan, arms outspread, clutching at the sheets. My hips thrust up, trying to drive deeper into his mouth. He took my rod down his gullet, moaning, his throat vibrating against my throbbing shaft.

God, his mouth felt so good. Don't get me wrong, but I'm not usually into getting blown. Actually, Joe had been the only guy I'd been with who could get me off that way. Not saying I've been with that many guys, but even so, I could tell I was in for something special. But there was one thing that could make it even better.

"Slap my nuts," I shouted.

Paul pulled off his dick and looked up at me.

"What?"

"I said, slap my nuts," I growled, lust blurring my vision.

"Are you sure."

"Do it," I hissed.

Paul patted my nuts and in response I threw my head back with a deep moan.

"Harder," I groaned.

Paul pondered the stream of pre-cum that oozed out of my piss slit when he had patted my hard sack.

"As you wish," he grinned and smacked my nuts.

My eyes rolled back in my head and I groaned deep in my chest, clawing at the sheets.

"Fuck, that's hot," he said, licking the copious fluid streaming down my dick.

"Don't stop," I growled, back arching as he acquiesced.

He took me all the way down to the root, bouncing my nuts against his chin, groaning around the shaft in his throat.

"Oh God! Oh fuck!" I cried, trying to push him away.

Paul looked up.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"I'm gonna cum," I gasped.

"Kind of the point," Paul said and went back down on me.

"Please, I need to...," I said, fumbling at his ears.

He grabbed my wrists and brought them together, wrapping one big hand around them. With the other hand, he batted my sack around.

I couldn't help myself. With a roar, I unloaded into his mouth. Each pat brought on another spurt until I collapsed back on the bed.

Paul rose from my dick and smiled with lips pressed tightly together, an amused question in his eyes.

I pulled him up and kissed him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. He released the load he'd been holding and it rolled into my mouth. I moaned as I swallowed my own cum.

"You okay?" he said, smiling down at me.

"Just sorry that we didn't do this earlier."

"Why? Gonna take a while to recharge?"

"What do you think?" I said, guiding his hand to my sticky dick.

"Damn! Does this ever go down?" he said.

"My cock or my mouth," I grinned. "Well, my record is three times in one night."

"Gives me something to shoot for."

"Me, too," I said and flipped him onto his back and licked the cum that had overflowed his mouth. I kissed his neck and began nibbling on his ear.

"So what made you change your mind?" he moaned.

I paused a moment, then replied, "Well, I had a dream. At least I think it was a dream. Joe convinced me it was silly to deny what I really want."

"And what do you really want?" he whispered.

I rose to look into his eyes.

"You," I whispered.

The desire burning in his eyes spoke more than words. Whatever happened, he did want this. I pulled him down to a sloppy kiss, our groins grinding together.

"What's this?" he teased, rolling aside to grope the bulge in my boxers.

"It's a package for you," I smirked.

He pushed my boxers down and my dick flopped out.

"Son-of-a-fucking-bitch!" he said, looking at my exposed monster. I'm about twelve inches long and thick with a long foreskin. He seemed fascinated by my overhang. Turns out he'd never seen an uncut dick in the flesh, so to speak. He pushed the skin down, exposing the head. It was long, tapered, and wet. He pulled the skin back up, stretching it, until my nuts were climbing my shaft. He stuck his thumb inside my foreskin, smearing pre-cum around the head, making me moan.

When he brought his thumb towards his lips, I grabbed his wrist.

"Don't," I said, emphatically.

"Why not?" he said, a spark of defiance in his eyes. "You took my cum."

"I just what you to be safe."

"Is there something you want to tell me?" he said, tensing.

There was, but I couldn't. My desire for him kept me from telling him the real truth, instead falling back on an excuse we often use. It's not the whole truth, but it's close enough.

"Well, I haven't been tested since before I packed things up and I haven't exactly been celibate while on the road," I said. "You can do whatever you want with me, just not that."

He relaxed, accepting my excuse and deep within me, I hated myself. But I knew it was for the best.

"Whatever I want?" he said slyly

I pulled his thumb to my mouth and he let me suck it clean.

"So long as I'm rubbered up."

I rolled over and pulled my jacket towards me. I always kept a few rubbers in there, for just such emergencies.

"Prepared fucker, aren't you? You sure even the Magnums will work?"

"Well enough."

"When I get there," he said, tossing the rubbers down the bed.

I had figured he would go right down on me, but instead, he dove into my armpit. He ground his face into my rank, sweaty hair. I usually go au natural and he seemed to love it. His hand wandered out, finding one of my big tits.

"Were you pierced, too?" he asked, raising his head.

"No. I knew I'd have the same problem you had. Got like that the old fashioned way. Lots of tit play."

He twisted the hard nub gently between his thumb and fingers, running a fingertip around the aureola. He dropped his head and gently licked my hard nub.

I grabbed his head and forcing it down onto my tit. He sucked on it, swirling his tongue around while pinching the other one. I felt his teeth graze the sensitive nub.

"Bite it!" I shouted. "Chew that tit."

He went wild, gnawing away at one while twisting and pulling at the other, then switching, again and again. Last night, I had thought how innocent he had seemed. I was definitely revising that opinion.

I tensed suddenly, hoping his wouldn't break the skin. But he obviously had other ideas. He slid down my body, my dick leaving a trail of slime in his fur. He rubbed his chest against my piece, letting me hump the furrow between his pecs.

He grabbed my meat, lifting it toward his face, eyes closed as he smelled the funk rolling from my heavy foreskin. He leaned forward, bringing my dick toward his face.

"Brian...," I said warningly, putting my hand on his forehead.

"I know," he sighed, letting it fall back where it was leaking a puddle into my navel. He tore the foil wrapper open, then paused, and for the first time this morning, looked a little embarrassed.

"Okay. This may sound stupid, but how do you put one of these on an uncut cock?"

I just chuckled and showed him how it was done. I leaned over and grabbed my boxers, using them to wipe the goo from my belly.

"Damn," he breathed, "Needs to be a couple inches longer."

"The rubber or the cock?" I laughed.

"The rubber. Don't know if I can take the whole thing as it is," he said, slapping it against his cheek with a hefty thump. "I'm woefully out of practice."

"Just do your best. I'm betting anything you do will get the job done," I said with a wink.

He scraped most of the lube off the rubber, wiping it on the sheets. He grabbed the base with one hand, cupping my balls with the other. He licked under the head, driving me wild. He took me into his mouth, looking up at me. He bobbed his head, each time taking a little bit more, while tugging at my nuts. He may have been out of practice but he was doing just fine. I was actually impressed that he was able to get about three quarters of it down his throat.

"Doing good, baby. Not too many can take the whole thing," I said, reassuring him, running my hands through his buzz cut.

He seemed to take that as a challenge. He shifted himself above me, then slammed himself all the way down on me.

"Holy fucking shit!" I shouted, sitting bolt upright, feeling my eyes roll back as his throat caressed my thick shaft. I fumbled at his head, trying my damnedest to keep from grabbing his ears as his throat muscles caressed my meat.

Finally he pulled back, panting heavily.

"Fuck," he rasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"If that's an offer, I'm game if you are," I grinned, spreading my legs.

"Fuck, yeah," he growled, running his nose down the valley between my legs. He rubbed his nose against the exposed base of my dick, gnawing on my hairy scrotum, his chin pressing into my taint.

"Funny," I gasped, "I thought I went home with a bear, but he turned out to be a pig."

"Who says I can't be both," he leered and dove into my crack. He licked my hole, spreading my cheeks wide. He gnawed and sucked at my pucker, forcing his tongue inside. Wasn't sure which was louder, my groaning or his slobbering.

"Hmmm. Looks like you've done this before," he leered at me, his face slick with spit.

"Why, sir. You besmirch my honor," I said.

"It's not your honor I plan on besmirch," he said, shoving two fingers up my ass.

I howled in response.

"I don't know. Are you sure you can take it?" he said with a sly grin.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Why do you think?" he replied, sitting back so I could see his dick.

"Fuck me raw," I blurted out, my mouth dropping open. He hadn't been kidding. It didn't even look like the same dick I had just sucked off. It might have been a little shorter, but the shaft was about as thick as mine. Instead of sticking straight out, it had a mean, upward curve. The scary part was the head, which flared out, almost half again as wide as the thick shaft.

"I told you," he said, looking down at himself. "I call the other one Mr. Hyde, but Dr. Jekyll's the real monster. Not on your level, but...."

"I want it. Bad."

"You asked for it," he said, reaching for another condom.

I sat up, taking the the packet from his hand.

"I mean it," I said, "Fuck me raw."

He shuddered at my words and a pearl of pre-cum drooled out of his piss slit.

"Are you sure?" he said with a shuddering breath.

"Very sure. Gonna need more lube than spit to get that monster in me, though."

He leaned over and pulled a can of shortening from under the bedside table.

I looked at the can and laughed.

"What?" he said sheepishly. "It's cheaper than KY and it gets the job done."

He stuck his fingers in the grease and began working it into my willing hole. He slid one in, corkscrewing it deep.

"Just one? This ain't a prostate exam."

"You sure about that?"

He found my prostate, caressing it gently, making me shudder.

He worked a second finger in, then two fingers from his other hand. He stretched my ring, grinning up at me.

"Damn. I'm betting I could get my whole hand up there," he said, after working my hole for about ten minutes.

"Maybe next time," I whispered.

He froze, his mouth dropping open and his eyes glazing over. I took advantage of his shock to roll him onto his back. I scooped a handful of grease out of the can and coated his cock. I straddled his hips and aimed his cock at my slick ass. I tried forcing the big, blunt head in. I ain't no virgin, but even with all the ass play, it wasn't going to be easy.

"Joe always said once he got past the head, it was great. It was getting past the head that was the problem."

"I think I believe him," I said, gritting my teeth.

"Beat my pecs," he ordered.

"What?"

"Pound my chest," he repeated.

He kept surprising me with his... imagination. He had really got into the nut play, but I was afraid I could really hurt him. But, I brought my fists down on his chest with a solid thud, echoed by a groan. His hips thrust up, driving his dick head against my greasy hole.

"Again! Harder!" he grunted.

"You're really into that, ain't you," I smirked, pounding hard, then howling as the big head popped through my ass ring.

I held still for a moment, feeling his big head throb, then sliding all the way down. I moaned as that big head pushed passed my prostate, feeling my lube oozing into the rubber.

"Oh fuck! I'm gonna cum!" he shouted, clawing at my knees.

"Yeah! Seed my ass," I hissed, squeezing my ring tight. I had hoped it would last longer, but, well, I believed him when he'd said how long it'd been.

He roared and cursed wildly, thrusting frantically as I bounced on his pole, flailing away at my own cock.

"Oh, yeah," I grunted, grinding my ass against his wiry bush, feeling his cum seeping out of my hole. "Just leave it in." I kept beating off, enjoying the feeling of his cock filling me.

"Oh, we're not done yet," he grinned and surprised me by rolling me over, his cock still hard, buried deep in my ass. "I told you three times was my record, but it was a pretty common event," he whispered in my ear, my own scent rank on his beard.

"Then, too, been over a year and a half," I said.

"Since you came?" he panted.

"No. Since I've been with anyone."

I started pistoning in and out of his slick hole.

"Cum makes the best lube," I leered down at the smoking hot bear sprawled across my bed.

"Oh, yeah! There! That's it!" he growled, then his eyes rolled back as I repeated the motion, again and again, pounding the hell out of his prostate.

He grabbed my neck and pull me down, smelling his own funk in my beard. His tongue thrust into my mouth while his dick humped between our furry bellies. He groaned and the sensations took over and he began shooting into the rubber.

I arched back, then began pile-driving his willing ass. His spasming ass muscles bringing on another orgasm.

I collapsed on top of him, panting heavily. I rolled over, my dick, sliding out of his well used ass. He spun around and was down on me in an instant, licking me clean.

"And you called me a pig," I panted with a grin.

He just grunted in response.

I maneuvered myself beneath him.

"Uh-uh-uh," he said as I stared at the full condom over my face.

"Don't worry," I said wistfully. Instead, I dove into his leaking ass. My tongue lapped up my cum oozing from his hole. I shoved my face deeper into his crack, felching out my load.

"Now what was that you were saying about cum and lube?" he groaned, rubbing the cum that had run down my nuts into my crack.

"It's been long time," I said hesitantly. "Think my cherry might have grown back."

"So?" he said, forcing a slick finger up my ass.

I drew a shuddering breath.

"Let's do it," I said decisively.

I lifted up and looked down as I hovered over him. He was staring intensely at me from around my equipment. There was a little fear in his eyes, but it was overwhelmed by lust. He wanted it as much as I did.

I rolled to the edge of the bed and slid the full rubber off my bloated cock. I tied it off and tossed it into the wastebasket by the dresser. I wiped myself clean as well as I could with my boxers and dropped them on my boots. I tore open another condom and rolled it down my still hard dick.

"Sit on my face and let me work on that sweet ass for a while," I said, laying back.

He threw his leg over my head and I grabbed his cheeks, spreading them wide.

"Now, that's a pretty sight," I said staring at his brown eye hidden in his hairy crevasse. I pulled him down on my face, wiggling my tongue deep into tight hole, driving him crazy. He ground his crack all over my face. He began twisting above me, then I could feel him greasing up my cock. I held out my hand and he held the can so I could scoop out a dollop and began working it into his hole.

"Think you're ready?" I grunted.

"No. But let's do this," he said, "Before I loose my nerve."

"We don't have to," I said. I wanted him so bad, but at the same time I didn't want to hurt him. He seemed to get off on pain, but even so....

"Yes, we do," he replied and positioned himself over my crotch.

I rubbed his knees as he squatted, pushing my cock up against his hole. He gritted his teeth, trying to force it in.

"Just relax," I whispered. "We're in no hurry."

"I want you in me," he grated. "Now!"

With that, he thrust himself down, pushing the head through his tight ring. His head fell back, his eyes wide open, his mouth working silently. His breath came in rapid, shallow gasps.

"Brian! Oh, fuck, are you okay," I cried, panic trying to overwhelm my lust.

"Yeah. No. I don't know," he gasped, his hands, clenching tight, pounding his legs.

"Just wait! Give yourself time to get used to it," I urged, grabbing his hands.

Abruptly, he twisted his arms from my grasp. At first I thought he was going to push me away, but he grabbed my hands, pulling them to his chest.

"Twist 'em," he hissed.

I ran my greasy thumbs across his swollen nubs, then grasped them between my fingers.

"Ready?" I whispered.

"Do it," he gasped, then howled as I twisted, hard. His legs gave out and he sank until he was completely impaled on my spike.

"Oh fuck! Oh God! Oh fuck!" he shouted. "Brian!"

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't think, couldn't breath. All I could do was grab his hand and guide it to my renewed erection.

"Jesus H Christ," he growled, pulling at my meat. "Looks like Mr. H wanted back in on this."

I looked down and realized he was right.

"Doesn't usually. Happen. When he's done. He's done," I gasped, forcing the words out.

"I don't understand it," he said looking up into my eyes. "Most guys...."

"I'm not most guys," I panted.

"I can tell," he whispered, reaching up to stroke my beard tenderly.

I turned, capturing his thumb in my mouth, sucking it hard. I placed my hands on his chest, slowly lifting myself off his lap. When I could finally get a deep breath, I pushed back down. He grunted and closed his eyes. I did it again and again, his upward thrusts meeting my downward ones. I eventually loosened enough that his greased cock began to slide easily up my chute. I bent forward and kissed him, grinding my cock into his furry belly. He squeezed my ass cheeks, spreading them wider, trying to drive in even deeper.

"Think you're up for me getting on top?" he grunted, staring up at me, glassy-eyed.

"I think I can, I think I can," I puffed.

He chuckled and grabbed the base of the rubber as I lifted myself off his cock. The head popped out of my ass and I fell on my side, panting heavily.

"You sure you're okay," he asked, concern evident, stroking my quivering body.

"Yeah, just catching my breath. How do you want to do this?"

"Think you're ready for bear-y style," he grinned.

I laughed and rolled onto my knees and took the position. He crawled up behind me, nudging his head back into my willing ass. As he began to push in, I pushed back until he was fully embedded in me. He bent over, grinding his fur into my back. He wedged his chin on my shoulder.

"God, you're so fucking tight," he whispered in my ear.

"Don't know for how much longer, if you keep that up," I groaned as he slowly started pulling out.

He began pounding my ass hard. I braced myself against his assault, squeezing my ass as tight as I could. I reared back, driving myself down on him in a frenzy. He wrapped his arms around me, mauling my pecs, kissing my neck. He grabbed my dick and roughly pounded away at it.

"Mother-fucking-son-of-a-cock-sucking-bitch!" I screamed as I shot off into his paw, my ass spasming around him.

He pushed me down, pulling out of my hole. He ripped the rubber off, his cum covered hands pounding his meat. With a howl, he blasted his load across my back. I could only groan as the molten load rained down on me.

He shuddered and slapped the last few drops against my ass. He collapsed on top of me and I weakly ground back against him, smearing his load into our fur, feeling it glue us together.

I reached out and fumbled at the lamp, finally giving into frustration and yanking the plug out of the wall.

He rolled onto his side, keeping me pulled close to him.

"Four," he whispered with a tired chuckle.

"Yep," I agreed and felt the well earned exhaustion over take me.

4

The incessant ringing of the phone woke me. I squinted at the light peeking around the blinds and fumbled for the handset.

"Hello," I grumbled blearily.

"Hey!" said Tom's voice. "Did I wake you?"

"No. The phone was ringing so I was already awake," I muttered.

"Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to get some breakfast."

An arm snaked around my chest and I felt his warm breath on my ear.

"Mmmm. Food," Paul rumbled, kissing my neck.

"I think that's a yes. Gill's?"

"Sounds good."

"Give us about an hour or so to get awake and Mr. Crunchy and I will see you there."

I hung the phone up.

"Mr. Crunchy?" he asked.

I rolled over to face him, brushing dried cum from his fur. He roared in laughter, pulling me close. I just held him, enjoying the moment, knowing it wasn't likely to last much longer.

Finally, I pulled away, lifting his chin so I could look into his eyes. They were clear, with some submerged emotion, struggling to remain hidden.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, sometimes things look different by the light of day," he said. I was worried he felt differently than he had in the throes of passion.

"I look that bad, now that you've got a good look at me?" he said with a self-deprecating smirk.

"No! You are one of the hottest bears I've ever met. And trust me, I've met a lot of bears," I chuckled, wondering what he would think of the truth of that. "I just thought you might regret what happened last night."

"No regrets at all. You showed me...that life just might be worth living again," he said softly. He smiled at me, and again I got a flash of that hidden emotion.

Then it was gone again, locked away within him.

"Hate to break the moment," he said, "But we need to get cleaned up."

"I thought you liked the way I smelled," I chuckled.

He stuck his face into my chest hair, inhaling the scent of bear sweat and cum.

"I do," he said, looking up at me, "But we're going out in public."

He rolled out of bed and I followed his hairy ass to the bathroom. Just the thought of how good that ass felt was getting me hard.

He slid the door of the walk in shower open and turned the water on.

"Now you can help me," he said, with a sly smile. "You made a mess of my back, so you get to clean it up."

I grabbed the soap and began lathering his back, being sure to pay careful attention to his hot ass. I stepped closed, letting my hands wander around to his front, scrubbing at his chest and belly.

"You've got such a beautiful body," I said, caressing his hips.

"Want me to hold it against you?" he whispered, turning to look up at me, suddenly serious.

"Very much," I said, wrapping him in my arms. He ground against me, our fur creating a thick foam from the soap. He turned and pressed against me, using my soapy fur to scour his back clean. I put my arms around his chest, pawing at him, humping my hard cock between his ass cheeks. His wet fur clutched at my wandering hands as I ran them down his body to my prize. As I tugged at his nuts he laid his head back against my shoulder.

"I want you in me so bad," he moaned.

I froze for a moment, desire trying to chip away at my resolve. I squeezed him tight.

"I want to breed you, too," I growled.

There was so much he needed to know before I could let that happen. Too often, a single act could have eternal consequences.

I was leaking heavily into the fur above his crack.

"This isn't getting my back cleaned," he groused, turning his head to lick my beard.

He turned, dropping to his knees. He grabbed my cock, pulling the skin back to expose the shiny head. The shower beat over his shoulder, rinsing away the pre-cum oozing from my slit. Before the words of caution could reach my lips, he soaped up his hands and began lathering his hair. I wasn't sure what he had in mind until he bent his head down and thrust it between my legs. I squatted a bit to give him better access. He rubbed the stubble on the back of his head between my legs, tickling behind my nuts. As his hair scoured my crack, my cock leaked down the back of his neck.

I have to admit, this was a new one on me. He had me so hot. I groaned, stroking my meat until with a roar, I unloaded all over his back again. He pulled back a bit, so I squeezed the last of my cum into his hair.

He grinned up at me as I leaned against the wet tile, recovering from my orgasm. With a growl, I pulled him up, kissing him deeply. I dropped to my knees, licking the pre-cum from his swollen head. This one wasn't any easier to suck than it was taking it up my ass, but I took the head into my mouth, my tongue pressing against the underside. Now I knew what he liked so I began slapping at his nuts.

I have to admit, if my mouth hadn't been full, I would have laughed. As soon as I began pounding his balls, his arms flew straight out, clawing at the tile. I wondered if he was used to being tied down when someone did this to him. That idea intrigued me.

I wormed a soapy finger behind his nuts and he spread his legs to give me room to work. As I penetrated him, he pushed down, driving my finger in as deep as it would go. His head popped out of my mouth, flexing under my chin. I recaptured it, forcing another finger into his ass. I prodded his prostate and he soon blasted his load down my throat.

"This isn't getting us ready," he said as he caught his breath.

"Well, I needed something to tide me over," I said as I stood to kiss him.

We laughed and rinsed off. I grabbed a thick towel and tossed it to him. I turned to get another and felt him rubbing the terrycloth across my back. I grabbed my towel and we dried each other off.

We returned to the bedroom and he picked up his crusty boxers.

"Got anything I can wear?" he asked, holding the shorts up. "All my stuff's still in my truck."

"I suppose," I said. I opened a drawer and pawed through it.

He caught what I tossed him. He raised an eyebrow, holding the black jockstrap with the word 'Woof' stitched across the back.

I grinned evilly as he chuckled and pulled it on, stuffing his ponderous package into the pouch.

"Woof is right," I growled as he turned to show me his ass.

He grinned as I reached out to grab his neck.

"Something to remember me by," I said somewhat wistfully.

"I don't think you have to worry about me ever forgetting you," he said softly and drew me into a long kiss.

"Do you want to follow me or just ride along?" I asked when we got out to the garage.

"I'll ride with you, if that's okay."

"Great by me," I said with pleasure. I figured that'd give us a little more time together.

It didn't take us long to get to the restaurant.

"It's a little hole in the wall, but the food's great," I said.

"Usually the case," he said, rubbing his belly.

We walked in and saw Tom and Larry seated at a table in the back. Tom looked at me, then looked at his watch and back.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

He looked at me and grinned.

"Hey, I need to use the bathroom. If the waitress comes, I'll take the Texas skillet, no onions, extra salsa. And a water," I said and headed to the john.

Tom glanced at Larry.

"I need to make a call," he said, walking toward the front of the restaurant.

I was left sitting with Tom. He seemed fairly uncomfortable.

"Look, I know it's none of my business," he began, "But how much has Brian told you about himself?"

"Well, I doubt everything. We did only meet last night," I replied, wondering where this was going.

"Did he tell you about what he's gone through the last few years?"

I glanced toward the bathrooms, but he wasn't coming out yet.

"He told me how he lost his family. And his lover."

Tom looked pained.

"Did he tell you about us?" he said.

I tensed, wondering what it was he was trying to tell me.

"He said you used to be lovers."

He grimaced and a look of shame flashed in his eyes.

"Yeah. We weren't together for long. I'm afraid I took him for granted. I only wanted him around when it was...convenient for me. I'm afraid it came to a head the morning I woke him up and told him he had to get out because my parents were coming over."

"How old were you?" I asked skeptically.

"Late thirties," he said, chagrined. "We stayed friends after we broke up. Actually, we're better friends than we were as lovers. After all that has happened, most of his other friends have turned away from him. Maybe that's the way he wants it. I think I'm about all he's got left," he said sadly.

"Jealous?" I asked, sitting back. Did he resent that Brian had turned to someone else?

"That you spent the night with him?" he said with a lop sided smile. "No. That actually makes me happy. After all that life has thrown at him, well, I don't know if I could go on like he has. He's the strongest person I know. But even the strongest tree can break."

"I know," I said softly, knowing how hard it is to pick up the pieces of a shattered life.

He searched my face for a moment.

"The problem is, I'm getting transferred back to Pennsylvania. I haven't told him yet. I'm afraid what he'll do when he's all alone."

"And you're telling me, why?" I said.

"I recognized the way he was looking at you last night. It was the same way he used to look at Joe. All I'm asking is, if you're going to let him down, please do it easily," he said, concern clear in his expression.

I suddenly saw what he was saying, but I also understood what he left unsaid.

He glanced toward the restrooms and sat back abruptly. He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text as Brian rejoined us.

After last night, I was pleased to see everything seemed to be in good working order. No obvious signs of injury. I was washing my hands at the sink when I saw myself in the mirror. There was something different. It took me a while to realize what it was. I was smiling. I knew it might not last, but I was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

I headed back to the table where Tom and Paul were sitting. Tom picked up his phone and texted something. I sat next to Paul and a moment later, Larry returned, sticking his phone in its case.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Larry had to make a call and decided to take it outside," Tom said casually.

I glanced at Paul, feeling like I'd missed something, but he just squeezed my knee.

The waitress came and took our order.

I thought about what Tom had said. We hadn't known each other long, but I knew how I felt about him. The question was, did he really feel the same about me. Yes, he had made love to me, but did he want more? Tom knew him, perhaps better than anyone else. Did he see something different about him this morning?

I sat watching him talk to his friends and I realized there was something. He was laughing and chatting with them. When he looked at me, the sadness that had darkened his eyes last night was still there, but only lightly. I suddenly realized what I had seen in his eyes this morning. He expected me to just leave him, like everyone else had, but doing his best not to let it show. It made my breath catch in my chest to think I had such an effect on him.

He reached under the table and squeezed my hand once, then pulled it back.

I thought back to our talk last night. He had told me about how he had told Joe not to stay for him.

"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was meant to be," I mouthed silently.

He was doing it again. He didn't want to make me feel pressured. He was fully expecting me to waltz out of his life as casually as I had entered it. And he would just let me if that was what I wanted.

"So, you were saying last night you were from out East? Where abouts?" Tom asked.

"Well, was in the New York area for a long time," Paul replied. "Decided it was time for a change."

"Where are you headed?" Tom said, glancing quickly at me, then back.

"Well, I'm on my way to the Seattle area to see my family. Got some personal business I need their help with, then...I'm not sure. I'm thinking about coming back here."

"Oh?" Tom said, sitting back, the tense look on his face washing away.

"That is, if there's a reason for me to come back," he said, looking into my eyes.

"Am I reason enough?" I asked softly, barely believing what I was hearing.

His gaze burned into me.

"More than enough."