Spinning Wheel

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I don't like to talk about myself, but I guess I have to, as to give you an idea of who I am, where I come from and where I am going to. My name is Ramses. Yes, indeed, my parents were great fans of Egyptian history and culture. They met in the early sixties when it was all "Love and Peace" and the golden age of the Flower Power. They were not exactly hippies, but certainly took all the advantages of their culture. It was the sexual revolution and to be "in" you were fighting for your own rights and freedom. The big part of freedom was of course to have sex whenever and wherever you wanted. When they met, my mother was still a virgin and my father inexperienced. But they were so much in love and their friends convinced them that they had all the rights in the world to express it physically, so they did. My mother was very open about it when she told me when I was fifteen. She said my father was so clumsy in those days and suffered from premature ejaculation during months in a row. But with time, he learned to control himself. In those days the condoms were not really something they used a lot. Even Durex was not so sure about their future. My mother calculated the days she could have sex and the days it was better to avoid it. As you can imagine, she made some mistakes in her calculations and was soon missing her period. Nine months later, in 1965, I woke the entire neighborhood with my first cry in this world.

In those days my parents were considered rebels as they refused to follow the worlds conventions and didn't marry. Nonetheless, my father recognized me as his son and both their names appeared on my birth certificate and I had my father's surname. Those who pretend to remember their first three or four years are, in my opinion, big liars. I didn't go to kindergarten, as my parents still lived in a kind of community where all the children were taken care of by its members. The first real memory I have, was my first day at school. My God! That was an adventure I didn't like at first as I was suddenly confronted with discipline. That was new to me! In our community we were supposed to live as freely as possible with no obligations. It was supposed to help us develop our own personality and learning things as they came. But at school, teachers had other ideas about that. My biggest problem was to sit still, keep my mouth shut and listen. My teacher, Mrs. Benson, was a very kind woman with a beautiful smile and she took her time to explain why I suddenly had to obey even though I didn't understand the "why" of some things I was told to do. She was a teacher like there are none anymore today. She was kind, convinced about her job and tasks, patient as an angel and with a real gift to teach.

I learned to read and write, making additions and subtractions, and even had an idea how the contours of my country looked like. Mrs. Benson had a way to bring these simple things to six years old in a playful way. In that first year, the basics were put in my head that I wanted it or not. The big, BIG advantage I had, was that my parents were very open-minded and answered whatever question I had. That was another lesson I received outside school: if you don't know something, just ask. If Mrs. Benson was as patient as an angel, my mother had invented the concept. I was the typical kid with the never-ending question: "Why?" and when I got an answer it was automatically followed by another "Why?" My mother would answer all of my "Why?" till I stopped asking.

My whole world changed when I was seven. My parents had fallen in disagreement with the rest of the community and for the first time we lived in a house on our own. I had my brother and my sister, but missed the other friends of the community. At school I had a friend, Sam, who had not been raised in a community. He fast became my best friend and whenever you saw Sam, I was very close by and vice versa. We went to school together and after school we spent most of our time together as well.

I developed a real interest in what my teachers taught me. To my teachers and my parents it was clear I was going for the more intellectual side, rather than sports or physical activities. Sam was just the opposite. So we discovered we were complementary. In PE classes he was my coach and pushed me to my limits whereas I helped him out with mathematics and other stuff. I fondly remember those years and our friendship grew day-by-day. It was not until I was twelve that I saw my father with a suit for the first time. He had found a job and got a promotion, but it obliged him to wear a suit. I thought he looked like a penguin and said so. I had never seen him laugh so hard. It was around the same time that I discovered a real passion for literature. I was literally devouring books. I had a library card and used it to full extend. As a direct result, my vocabulary was seriously enhanced. For Christmas I asked for a dictionary where Sam asked for new Nike's.

Sam and I entered puberty almost at the same time and started to discover changes in our bodies. I had asked all what I wanted to know to my mother. Sam's mother was not that open about it, so when he had a question he asked me and we ran together to my mother to have the answers. In our house sexuality was a subject that was openly and freely talked about. In Sam's house it was more of a taboo. It was years later, when Sam's father wanted to have the famous father to son conversation about sex that Sam asked his father: "Ok, what do you want to know Dad?" and that was the end of the conversation.

As teenagers, Sam and I experimented together, meaning that we discovered we had hard-ons, hair growing in our pubes, could jerk off and bit-by-bit produce semen. My parents had absolutely no problem at all that we discovered it together. My mother just asked to close my bedroom door when we did as my brother and sister were still to young to understand. We were doing that stuff together, but even though some guys at school wanted to include us in their games, we declined. It was as if we wanted to be faithful to each other and not include anybody else. When I mentioned it to my mother, she explained to me what homosexuality was. At the same time she explained me very clearly what Respect was. She taught me that Respect was the most important aspect in life and that those who had it were really blessed. Sam didn't understand it at first as he associated Respect with fear for the elders. My mother, patient as she was, explained him the difference. It was around the same time that she also taught us the importance of Trust. Very soon I understood that any relationship was based on three pillars: Feelings, Respect and Trust. That was printed in my head and in my heart like the grammar and spelling in literature.

All in all, Sam and I had a wonderful childhood and youth. We realized that our friendship was as strong as could possibly be and that it would for life.

In 1983, just after I turned eighteen, my parents and Sam's went on a weekend trip together, leaving us in charge of my younger brother and sister. It was during that weekend that Sam and I discovered we liked to have sex together. I mean that it was more than just jerking off. We kissed and sucked each other, with a lot of body contact and enormous climaxes. I remember it clearly because on the Sunday afternoon, around the time we were expecting our parents back, there was someone ringing the front doorbell. When I opened the door there were two policemen asking for Sam and me. A drunken truck driver had hit my father's car. Sam's parents and my father had been killed instantly. My mother was in hospital in a critical condition.

In a matter of less than 24 hours, I grew adult and mature. My mother was in hospital for over three months! Several surgeries were necessary to have her body back into working order. The main problem was that she didn't remember a thing. Not the accident, not her life or her name and she didn't even recognize us, her own children. Fortunately, my father had an excellent insurance coverage with his work. All the hospital bills for my mother, the funeral for my father, everything was taken care for. Sam was not so lucky, but had only to face the funeral of his parents. Their house was sold and after paying off the mortgage, there was just enough to pay the funeral. Sam moved to an aunt's house at the other side of town and we missed each other terribly. We were used to see each other every day and now we were limited to weekends and so on.

It took months for my mother to recover physically. Her memory came back bit-by-bit. We showed her all the photo albums we had and snippets of her life came back to life. It took her time to realize we were her children. It was my little sister Angela who had the most problems with it. She couldn't accept the fact my mother didn't remember things. My brother Ken was miserable but tried not to show it.

When my mother came back home and living in what used to be her environment, things sped up a bit. It was about six months after the accident that, watching television, she saw an accident and her full memory came back. With the full recovering of her memory, she also realized her husband, the love of her life, was gone. She was inconsolable. One of the things that had been badly damage was her liver. In her state and with the medication she had to take, alcohol was totally prohibited. But she didn't care. I pleaded with her not to drink, but the more I insisted, the more she drank. I tried to call her doctor for help. He warned her that she was drinking herself to death. She shrugged her shoulders.

Once the liquor cabinet was empty, she started to hide the bottles of liquor she bought. I called the social services, but they couldn't help me either. Each day, after collecting my brother and sister from school, when we arrived home, she was on the couch, sleeping and trying to get on her feet to make dinner. But she was so drunk that most of the time I told her to rest because otherwise she would burn dinner anyway.

On the first anniversary of the accident, she was crying and whining and blaming the whole world that they had taken her love away. There was already an empty bottle of Gin next to the couch and on the table there was already a second one, half empty. She didn't even use a glass anymore but drank directly from the bottle. That day she was about to open a third bottle that she kept hidden when she collapsed in the living room. I called the emergency, but when the paramedics arrived, they could only note and confirm she was dead. She died on the same date of my father with just a year in between.

Sam and I graduated but only my brother and my sister were there to congratulate us. We both wanted to go on studying, but there were more urgent matters. I had to provide whatever my brother and sister needed. I knew that with the degree I had, I couldn't have very well paid jobs, but I figured that with my salary, we could manage to live. The money I got from the insurance was kept for harder times or unforeseen costs. The house we had inherited was paid, but had to be maintained.

At the age of twenty, I had a job that paid better than the first one. My brother did some odd jobs and gave me the money he earned. I always accepted fifty percent of it and advised him to save as much as he could. My sister turned fifteen and started to do some odd jobs as well. We all agreed that fifty percent of our wages would go into a common pot to pay for food, drinks, and general maintenance of the house. The rest was to be kept for oneself.

It was more than two years after my mother's funeral that we had a very unexpected call from a lawyer. He said he was representing my grandparents on mother's side. We were convinced they were dead as we had never met them and never heard about them. The fact was that they had disowned my mother when she was pregnant of me. They didn't accept my father as a son in law. But my mother was their only child and the lawyer was obliged to find any descendants. After a lot of search he had found us. The news he had for us was an absolute shock. My grandmother had died first, some five years ago. My grandfather was a very good businessman and had a flourishing and wealthy business. We were asked to show up at the lawyer's office and when we did, we were amazed at the luxury of the premises.

The lawyer, Mr. Herbert Stapleton, was a man of about fifty years old and had been my grandfather's lawyer all his life. He looked like a sincere and honest man (amazing, isn't it?). What he had to tell us was stunning and amazing. First of all, Mr. Stapleton showed us photo albums. It seemed that my grandfather, although he had disowned his only daughter, had a private detective following us our entire life. There were pictures of my parents and then the evolution and growth of Ken, Angela and me. There were even pictures of my father's funeral and my mother's. Grandfather had made notes next to every picture, with the date and the place where the picture had been taken.

Next to the albums Mr. Stapleton had a box with a lot of unopened letters. The writing on it was different of that of my grandfather and the lawyer told us it was our grandmother's. I would need time to open them all and read them. All were addressed to both my parents.

And then Mr. Stapleton went over to read the will. He put me in charge of everything! I was the only one mentioned as heir and had to decide what to give to each my brother and my sister. There were quite some things in the list of the patrimony. First there was there house (which we had never seen) and all its contents. Then there was his business, which consisted of a hardware store. Then there was his investment's portfolio showing a nice asset. And last, but not least, there were two bank accounts that showed figures I could only dream about. It was difficult to assimilate such a wealth all of the sudden.

All his assets were to be mine once he died, with the condition that my mother was not to receive a penny and that I was over twenty-one. It seemed all the requirements were fulfilled as my mother was dead and I was twenty-two. Mr. Stapleton made me sign quite a bunch of papers that I had no clue what they were. He took his time to explain to me what each paper was for. When everything was signed he handed me a key ring that contained much keys. Each key had a label telling what it was for. He then gave me a paper with various addresses on it: the address of the house, the address of my grandfather's business, the keys to his car and so on, as well as a list of people with their telephone numbers. He said that all his bills had been paid and that I didn't owe him anything anymore. He also handed me an envelope with some cash money for first expenses.

My brother and my sister didn't assimilate exactly what had happened inside the lawyer's office. I was well aware of it, but didn't know what to do with it. First I opened the envelope with the cash money. It contained over two thousand euros. We unanimously decided to take a taxi to grandfather's house. As the taxi driver entered an up-scaled neighborhood, I just wondered what we were going to find. He stopped in front of a fenced property. We entered the property and followed the paved road that led to the main entrance. I found the key to the main door and opened it. The house was a nice three-bedroom villa. Everything was spotless and nicely furnished. The kitchen was semi-professional.

So here we were, owners of a house with all its contents. In the garage there was what seemed a brand new BMW 320 station wagon and an older Mazda Miata. I guessed the Mazda had been grandmother's car. Ken, Angela and I visited the whole house. It was nice, but we were so used to my parent's house that we had a hard time even imagining living here.

I closed up the house. We went to the garage and took the BMW 320. We went back to our house. My brother and sister went each to their room doing whatever they did when they were there. I sat down in the living room and thought it all over. I was suddenly the owner of a second house and I knew that the maintenance of that second house was probably going to be even more expensive than the one we were living in. Although the heritage came with quite some money, I didn't know what to do with two houses. The best thing to do was probably sell the villa and set-up a fund for Ken and Angela to study and go to university if they wanted.

I had a lot on my agenda and the first thing I needed to do was to quit my job. I could afford it and with all the things to do, I needed time off. Once I had given my notice, I took the list of names and went to my grandfather's hardware store. It was located in the industrial part of town. It was far bigger than what my imagination had come up with. It was actually the size of a big supermarket.

• Hello, I am Ramses Dobson, late Mr. Dexter's grandson. I come to see Mr. Colton if he is available.

The girl at the customer's attention smiled at me and punched a few buttons on the telephone with the end of her pencil and announced I was at the reception.

A man of about forty came out of his office and up to me with his hand stretched out.

• Mr. Dobson, he said, what a pleasure to meet you. Please accept my condolences with the passing away of your grandfather. Please, follow me.

He led me to his office. He offered coffee or whatever I wanted. I declined politely. He asked me what was the purpose of my visit. He was obviously not aware that my grandfather had left everything to me.

• Mr. Colton, I am here because it seems to be I am now the owner of this store. Although I don't know anything about this business, I am here to learn. What I do know is what Mr. Stapleton told me: my grandfather left everything to me and in his will it is clearly stipulated I am in charge. But I don't have the first clue about hardware business.

• Please call me Kevin. Mr. Colton is my father, he said with a smile.

He seemed to be a nice man. He tried to explain the current situation.

• I am the general manager of the store right now. Your grandfather asked me to take over his job when he got ill and was not capable of running the business like he did. That was about two years ago. I guess you will take over your grandfather's job. I will be here to help you as much as I can. I don't know what kind of studies you followed but a basic knowledge about business management would, be good for you to have.

I explained him the situation about my parent's accident and what followed: the need for me to quit school and take care for my brother and sister.

• I am sorry to hear what happened, Kevin said, but I guess we can find a solution to that.

I couldn't help to look at Kevin. He was a very handsome man with a sincere and bright smile all over his face. I instinctively looked at his hands but there was no trace of a wedding ring. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, my imagination got a little wild, but only for a very short time, just enough to feel a slight little change in my groin.

• What would be good, if you are interested, is that you go back to school and get some kind of degree about business management. If you can't afford it, I guess the company could pay for it, but that would be your decision as you are now the new owner. While you do that, I can, again if you want, continue to manage the store to the best of my abilities, till you are ready to take over the management. I would, of course, show you all the ropes about it, specific to this store.

That was not a bad idea indeed. Although I had never thought of owning a business and manage it, it would give me good job and a way of taking care of the Ken and Angela. I would have to look into it.

Kevin gave me the grand tour of the store and introduced me to every member of the personnel. They all seemed to like Kevin and it gave me peace to know he was probably a good manager, respected by the employees. He treated everybody with respect and knew them all on a first name basis. I noticed as well that they were all smiling and that made me think they seemed happy to work here.

After we had talked about most aspects of the business, I had to run, as I wanted to go to the bank and discover exactly what was in store there. Kevin went with me to the parking lot and saw I was using grandfather's BMW.

• So that you know, Kevin said, the BMW is a company-leasing car. That means that you don't have to worry about any costs. All is paid for. If you need to take some gasoline, I guess, knowing your grandfather, that there is a gasoline-card in the glove department. The pin-code is 2008 if my memory is correct. Your grandfather had the same pin-code for everything, as he didn't want to make any mistake.

We shook hands and promised to keep in touch. Kevin gave me his private cell phone number that I immediately put in my cell. I looked a last time straight into his eyes before I got into the car and drove off. I liked the way he looked at me.

At the bank I was ushered into the manager's office. He was an older man, perfectly dressed and very professional, introducing himself as Mr. Evans. No first name basis was used with him. He looked at my ID and the paper Mr. Stapleton had given me.

We went over all my grandfather's assets and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had not to worry about money for a long, long time. Mr. Evans explained everything to me in detail and then made me sign quite some papers to have it all transferred to my name. He said that the debit and credit cards would take a few days to be ready. I asked him some advice about what to do with the two houses. He told me it would be good to have a realtor or an inspector see both of them and give a professional opinion as which to sell and which to keep. I agreed with him and asked him to call me as soon as an appointment was made.

I looked at my watch and saw I just had time to drive over to the school to get Ken and Angela. Once we were home I asked them to sit down and explained them the reality of things about the house, the business and the bank. They listened closely and when I was finished they both said they trusted me to do the best I could. Ken thought it was maybe a good idea that I went back to school as well. He thought that the business would be a nice income and if I trusted Kevin, I had time to learn what was necessary. He was so much more mature than his actual age. I asked them both if they wanted to study or drop school once they graduated and go to work. I wasn't really surprised when they both told me they knew what they wanted to do: Ken wanted to be a lawyer and Angela wanted to be a nurse. Following my parent's way of life and thinking, I agreed with both of them.

To lighten up a little the seriousness of the conversation I then asked them both how they were coping with every day life. Did they need what was called the "sex talk" but they both laughed heartedly at that. They both knew I was gay as they had seen me interact with Sam in the past and had openly asked me about it. I had been open enough with them and never hided my being gay. I asked Ken if he had a girl friend, or boyfriend, but he said that he had not been in the right mood for it since our parent's accident. Now, he wanted to concentrate on his future and then he would see what to do about GIRLS! He insisted a lot on GIRLS. Angela giggled at that that. For her part, Angela admitted there were a few boys that were apparently interested in her, but she found them to childish. She wanted to find the right man for her and said she would wait the necessary time to find him.

I took information to know where and when I could go back to school. It was clear to me that the hardware store was a good business and I had to learn whatever it was to run it properly. I had to wait a few months before classes would start and meanwhile I agreed with Kevin that I would receive some training in all the departments of the store. I made it clear I wanted to be treated like any other employee. What I didn't tell him was that I just wanted to be near him as much as I could. The more I saw him, or even talking with him over the phone, the more I realized I had a crush on him. Officially he was my employee and therefor on forbidden ground, but I couldn't help thinking about him and even more fantasizing about what I would do with him if we were to be on our own with no witnesses at all. My erotic dreams about him were so vivid that my whole body responded to it.

Here I was, working as an employee in a hardware store, responsible for my younger brother and sister, with a heritage that was bigger than anything I had ever dreamed of. I was twenty-three and, even if I say so myself, a lot more mature than most guys my age. I was on the verge of starting school again and had a major crush on my store manager. I was gay and did neither hide it nor advertised it. I knew what respect was and gave it to anyone I met. That never failed me. When I looked in the mirror I liked what I saw without being narcissistic. My regular sports activity had given me a nice body, not really muscular but without any fat either. I had some straight hair on my chest and a nice treasure trail showing the way to a nice healthy cock that could get so hard that it sometimes hurt. My arms and legs were covered with hair as well, and I was constantly wearing a two to three day's stubble on my square jaw. With the years, my light brown eyes, with green little spots, had slightly gone greener with light brown spots. I noticed I received more and more glances as well from women as from men.

Angela grew to be a very nice young woman. We got closer to each other. It often happened that she cuddled up to me when we were watching television. She easily opened her heart to me and telling me how she felt. She was still not over the death of our mother. We often looked at the photo albums that my mother had made with tender care before the accident. It happened that we cried together and than consoled each other.

We sold our grandfather's house following the advice of the inspector. We didn't have any emotional attachment to that house, as we had never seen it before. Mr. Evans at the bank was of very useful help and even arranged the mortgage of the new owners. He made good suggestions about investing the money of the sale. The only thing we kept from that house, were the two cars. I couldn't sell the BMW anyway as it was a leasing car. I kept the Miata, as I was sure that Ken or Angela would like to have it when they obtained their driver's license.

Although the classes had started, I kept going to the store every day. The official excuse was to keep an eye on my property and learn as much as I could about the business. Kevin was a patient teacher and I was doubly motivated, as I wanted to be a good manager, but even more because it gave me time with Kevin. The course I was following was spread over three years, but my results after the exams at the end of the first year were that good that I asked my teachers if there was any possibility to do year two and three together in one year. They said it was most unusual. I explained my situation and after quite some deliberation they exceptionally accepted. I will never forget that year! I worked harder than I had ever done. I studied long hours and often fell asleep on my books, but I was determined. I didn't allow me any distraction or free time. I did what I had to do for Ken and Angela and for the rest I was with my nose in my books. The only exceptions were for my brother and my sister's birthdays and Christmas. Just one other exception I made was for the annual personnel's party at the store.

I was finally ready for the final exams. During a few weeks I lived on coffee and didn't sleep enough, except the night before each exam. When the last exam was over, I slept for exactly twenty-three hours in a row. The graduation ceremony was beautiful and held in the gardens of the school as the weather was sunny and bright. Ken and Angela were there, of course, and I had the pleasant surprise to see that Kevin had come as well. I received a special mention for achieving the complete course in only two years and it was funny to hear that there was a general applause, but three people whistling and cheering at the top of their lungs. For the first time I invited them all three to a nice restaurant and not a Burger King! It was very nice and pleasant and Kevin even offered a bottle of Champagne. Sam couldn't be there, as he was in the army and couldn't get time off, but he sent me a congratulation card. We didn't have a lot of contact anymore, but each time it was a pleasure to meet and talk. That was the most beautiful part of our friendship: even though we didn't talk for months, once we were together again it was as if we had seen each other the previous day. Sam, being my best friend, was the only one to know I had a crush on Kevin.

At twenty-five, I was the head and owner of the hardware store. I left the general management to Kevin. He deserved it. We had long hours together and could talk on a same level. I was no longer the dumb-ass as I was the day we first met. With our joined efforts, the business was really flourishing. I was still frustrated that I couldn't touch Kevin the way I wanted. Over the years I had never seen him with a girlfriend. My hopes were still up, but... he was still my employee and that made him off-limits. Nonetheless, we started to see each other out of the office. It started with business lunches. Then we had some celebration dinners at birthdays and other festivities. We even started to have a morning run on Sundays. I learned quite a lot about his background. He was an only child, as his parents didn't want to have any. When his mother got pregnant at the age of forty, it was a real surprise for them, but they raised him with a lot of love and real good values for life. They had died of natural causes and he was still living in the parental house. He had started in my grandfather's business at the bottom of the ladder and worked his way up with hard work and a good commercial sense. He had worked during the day and studied at night and my grandfather had rewarded his efforts. In his spare time he loved literature and the occasional good movie. We discovered we had very similar tastes in music and loved to be physically active without becoming gym rats or the like. In one word: we were really compatible. It was obvious that we voluntarily avoided speaking about relationships or sex. I sometimes caught him looking at me with an intense stare and wondered what it meant. Of course, I hoped it was because he was interested in me, but feared it at the same time. We were growing to be friends much more than boss and employee. We had a lot of fun and laughs together and enjoyed each other's company immensely. He became part of the family so to speak. Christmas was a family celebration, but he was always there.

It was Angela who discovered my secret after one of our gatherings. Kevin had left and Ken was up in his room studying. We were cleaning up the kitchen.

• Ram, she said (she never used my full first name), is there anything you have to tell me?

• What do you mean Sis?

• Come on, don't bullshit me. Have you ever noticed how Kevin is looking at you? And do you have any idea how you look at him? It is as obvious as the nose in the middle of your face that you have feelings for each other! You maybe think you are discreet, but you can't fool me. I am your sister, you know?

I dropped the towel I had in my hands on the counter. I pulled a barstool at the island and sat down. She looked at me with loving eyes.

• Is it that obvious? I asked.

• For me it is, she answered.

• Ok, I admit. But there is a major problem Sis. I am the boss and even though he is older than me, he is my employee. It is ethically not justified.

• Ethically, huh? I think that you are looking for excuses because you fear rejection or wonder what will happen if it doesn't work out like you want. Can I ask you a question?

I nodded.

• Of all the people who are working for you, about how many of those do you know who they are sleeping with?

• A few of whom I met the spouse or husband, I said.

• Good, and do you know if those married people cheat on each other?

• My God Angela! No, I don't. I don't go and investigate their private lives!

• Good. That is exactly my point. What you do in your private life is just that: PRIVATE! Why would it be different for you? At the store Kevin is your general manager at the same level you are. You are both professional and are there to work, not to fool around. Once you leave the store you are just Kevin and Ramses. I have never seen you advertise you are gay and I can tell you that people who don't know it, would never guess you are. What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your problem and who you do it with is no one's business.

She had a point there. She seemed to gather her thoughts and then went on.

• I think that you are both wasting your time looking at each other and hoping. Maybe you are not the kind of guy to make the first step. What happens if Kevin is just the same? Are you going to look at each other, wanting to express your feelings till the end of days? I think you both deserve better than that, don't you think?

Where was that little girl that cuddled with me on the couch, watching cartoons or a movie? She had grown into a nice and fine woman. The guy who could steal her heart would be very lucky!

• Do you love him?

I had to think about that. Did I really love him? Or was it just lust for his hot body? Had I idealized him over the years? Was it just friendship or did I want to take it to the next level? There was no point in lying to myself, or her as a matter of fact. It hit me like a hammer in the face.

• Yes, I do love him. It started the first day we met. I found him attractive and nice. With time I discovered a very interesting personality and a good friend. Together we discovered quite some compatibility and enjoyed every single moment we shared. But Sis, I don't even know if he is gay!

• Let me tell you big brother: he is as gay as you are. Call it female intuition if you want, but I bet my life on it!

She came over to me and took my hands in hers. Her beautiful eyes fixed them on mine.

• You deserve to be happy Ram. It wouldn't be fair that you did all you did for us and end up all alone when we leave the house. You are a good man and Kevin is as well. I know in my heart that you love each other and by shutting up your mouths you won't reach any satisfaction. My God! You communicate in every possible way and almost have no secrets for each other. Why is it that you can't communicate when it comes to probably the most important part of your life: feelings? If it is too awkward to invite him for a nice dinner and declare your love, you can always suggest a hiking trip or even just a walk. But do it! Follow your heart.

With that, she stood up, kissed me on my forehead and left me alone with my thoughts. I knew she was right. Her female insight and her love for me made her say these things. I was making decisions every day, with or without risks. What did I risk with talking to Kevin? It was not even that I misread the signs, as Angela had read the signs as well. She had always been confident about her intuitions and feelings. I didn't remember one single time she had made a mistake. Was I capable of taking Kevin's hand in mine, looking him straight in the eyes and tell him that I loved him? The worst that could happen was that he would turn me down, but what was the best that could happen? The best would be that the feelings were mutual and reciprocal. The best could be that he took my face in his hands and brush his lips against mine. The best could be that we would make love. What was wrong about that? Nothing!

Nonetheless I was still struggling with the ethical part of the equation. Why did it have to be so hard? Why could love not be just something easy? Probably because if it was easy, we wouldn't appreciate the full extend of what we achieved. Kevin had taught me from the very start at the store to make decisions, being confident and control whatever situation came up. Wasn't it best to show him I had learned the lesson? I maybe couldn't control the situation a hundred percent, as I didn't know his feelings for sure. But all the rest I could control.

I switched off the lights and went to my bedroom after showering. I slipped between the sheets and said a silent good night to Kevin. I hugged my pillow imagining it was Kevin's body and drifted off to sleep.

I had finally found out his real age. We were not having such a great difference: 11 years. I estimated him older, but I guess that was because he acted so mature and was, in my eyes, the perfect embodiment of a real man. We had almost the same height and I guessed the same weight. Where my hair was dirty blond, Kevins was jet black with some premature grey at the temples. I had always stubble of a few days where Kevin was always perfectly clean-shaven. I was hairy on chest, arms and legs and from our Sunday runs I knew Kevin had hairy legs. I guessed his chest was hairy as well as sometimes, when he didn't wear a tie, I could see some hairs just above the collar of his T-shirt or through the opening of his unbuttoned shirt. His smile was always bright and sincere and he often smiled more with his eyes than with his lips. He had a penetrating look and I felt like he was looking straight into my soul. I didn't mind, as I wanted to be an open book for him. I just crossed my fingers that he was an avid reader.

Our daily job went as smooth as can be. Each day it was more and more obvious that we ended each other's phrases. We were really on the same wavelength. He was my teacher and I his pupil after all. Some times Kevin tested me when there was a particular situation that asked for our attention. I knew when he was testing me because he would always put the end of his pencil between his teeth and ask me how I would handle the setting, being it a problem with the stock, the taxes or a question of personnel. I always took my time to think about it before answering. Nine times out of ten I would come up with the right answer. The tenth time would be because we had different opinions about the problem and we discussed it till we reached a consensus.

The biggest discussion we had, was when the head of the accountant department came to see us. The figures of the shop were really good and he said that if we didn't do anything about it, we would end paying quite a lot of taxes. He suggested doing some investments, even if they were risky ones. In short, the profits were too high in comparison to the costs. Kevin came up with a series of ideas such as augmenting the stock, augmenting the personnel, installing new shelves or even changing the complete computer system. I didn't see it like that. The flow of the stock was good. The personnel was happy and worked hard, but without over-doing it. Our computer program was giving us a total satisfaction. My idea of investment was probably riskier, but would keep the taxes down not for one year, but for several years! My idea was to open a second store.

That frightened Kevin a little. We talked about it for hours in a row. I realized I was pushing Kevin out of his comfort-zone. He was managing the store very well and didn't see the need to change it. I saw it as a unique opportunity to expand and make our name better known. I had heard of several of our biggest clients that they had problems with the fact we were in the industrial zone outside town on the northern part. Quite a lot of them had dockyards at the other side of town and lost quite some time coming over to get what they needed. Ok, our store was providing to some big companies, but also to private people and our department of DIY was representing about forty percent of our total sales. Some people didn't mind to cross town to get their tools or materials, but I guessed that quite some people at the other side of town preferred to buy in smaller stores and often paid a lot of money more just to avoid the traffic to reach our store. I asked our accountant at what time the supplementary costs had to be made in order to bring down our taxes. He told me the end of accountancy year was due in three months time. That didn't give us much time to make up our minds.

I saw that Kevin was stressing on the subject. It was absolutely necessary to have him in a relaxed state to make the final decision. I knew I could take the decision out of his hands, as I was the owner, but I wanted it to be a joined decision. I also had to ask Ken and Angela about it, but as usual they said they trusted me to do the best. Ken didn't really care about the business. Angela looked at it in a different way.

• Before you make up your mind, she said, you should know exactly where you stand. I mean that you should have THE conversation with Kevin. If you start a new adventure with him he has the right to be in a position where there are no secrets between the two of you. You tell me you are pushing him out of his comfort-zone... If you do so, it would be better to go all the way. I am sure he would be a lot more relaxed if you take a certain weight off of his shoulders.

I didn't want to mix up work and private life. But she was right, once again. If Kevin was more relaxed, he would probably be keener to make the right decision and I had not a lot of time to make this happen. That night, I took a piece of paper and a pencil. I divided the sheet in two vertically. On top of the left column I wrote "Pro" and in the left column I wrote "Contra". I started to write down what I thought was a benefit to the company in the Pro column and the risks in the Contra one. When Angela looked over my shoulder about an hour later, she suggested doing the same about THE conversation with Kevin. I thought it was a good idea and took a second sheet of paper dividing it in two like I had done with the first one. After another hour I was still struggling to fill in both columns. Angela looked at the sheet, took the pencil out of my hands and wrote in big capital letters the word "LOVE" in the Pro column and the word "MISERY" in the Contra one. She then gave me a kiss on my forehead and went back to her business. I had to find a way to talk to Kevin!

On the Friday evening, Kevin asked if we were still on for the Sunday run. I confirmed it. He even suggested running towards the lake and, if the weather allowed it, to have a swim before we would run back. We used to have our run fairly early in the morning and even though I thought the water would be freezing cold, I accepted. On Sunday morning Kevin came up to my house and was apparently in a very good mood. He wore his small nylon running shorts, a T-shirt, his sneakers and had a towel around his neck. I just supposed he had some swimming gear underneath. I was dressed the same and after warming up our muscles, we were soon on the way to the lake. For us, running was a pleasure, not a physical exercise to be completely tired and out of breath. We always set a good pace without over-doing it. When the lake was in sight, we were both sweating profusely and our T-shirts clung to our bodies. Town Hall had done quite some good work and developed an artificial beach. As it was still early, there was almost no one in sight. We took off our sneakers, T-shirts and running shorts and left them on the beach with our towels. We had not agreed upon anything, but we were both wearing Speedos. Mine was red and Kevin's turquoise blue. We ran into the water and were gasping for air, as it was a lot colder than what we had thought. Nonetheless, we swam a good distance and were quite tired upon our return to the beach. We lay down on the beach, on our towels, catching our breath and letting the sun dry us.

It was a peaceful moment, if it wasn't that I was so damned aware of Kevin's almost naked body next to me. It was the first time I saw him in such a state of being undressed. Although the water had been really cold, the bulge in his Speedos didn't leave anything to the imagination. He was soft, but it was impressive all along. I also saw his naked chest for the first time and he was hairy! I wanted to reach over and caress him, playing with the hair on his chest and even kiss his erect nipples. I was checking him out, thinking I was discreet, but in the corner of my eye I could notice he was doing the same thing. When my eyes wandered down again I saw a distinct difference in his Speedos.

• You like what you see, I asked him, or is it just a reaction to the contrast of the cold water?

Kevin immediately shifted on his towel and covered his crotch. He didn't answer and even seemed embarrassed. The sight of his hardening cock in his Speedos had an obvious effect on me and my cock wasn't flaccid either. The only difference was that I didn't try to hide it.

• Kevin, I said, I think it is time for us to have some serious talk.

He looked at me quizzically.

• Don't be so surprised, I said. You know perfectly well that this conversation was about to happen at one time or another.

Kevin was on his back, resting on his elbows, his crotch covered by the towel but not hiding anything. His quizzical look disappeared and was replaced by resignation. He sighed. I instinctively knew I had to go on, as I was sure he wouldn't say anything.

• Kevin, please, look at me.

He did.

• We interact on a daily basis at work, but today, we are here as friends, right?

He nodded, but there was still not a word coming out of his mouth.

• Since the day we first met, we have been growing to be friends, good friends, right?

He nodded again. It seemed it was not going to be easy, as he didn't say a word. Nonetheless, his look was straightforward and his eyes and mine were intensely connected. I just wanted to lean in and kiss him, but thought that it was maybe a little too forward. His stare was making me lose the general line of my thoughts and the speech I had prepared. Jeez, this was a lot harder than I thought and his silence didn't make it any easier. I suddenly lost all diplomacy and subtlety.

• Jeez Kevin, help me a little, will you? The main question is: are you gay? And if you are, do you have anyone special in your life?

He looked me even straighter in my eyes when he answered.

• Yes, to both questions!

The first yes overjoyed me, but the second one dimmed that joy instantly. He had someone special in his life! That drained all the hope out of me! In all these years he had been very discreet about it. He never mentioned the other person and I had never had even a glimpse of someone. How on earth had he done it? There! I had done it! I had asked him THE question and I was devastated. In a certain way, I was happy that I had not mentioned my feelings and so make a total fool of myself. What did I have to do now? I didn't know. It all felt awkward. I just wanted to be somewhere else. The man of my dreams was spread out in front of me. I wanted to touch him, but my values didn't allow me to. He had someone and I was certainly not going to come in between of them. Our friendship was far too precious for me.

I was about to stand up and put on my running gear, when I felt his hand on my arm.

• Yes, I am gay. And yes, I have someone very special in my life. I love him more than anything although I never told him. I don't want to pressure him and I guess I am also afraid of any kind of rejection. He is very good looking, intelligent, funny and smart and although he is younger than me, we connect really well. He never told me if he is gay. But, you asked me if I was gay. Are you Ramses?

• I never advertised it, but never hid it when asked directly. Yes Kevin, I am gay.

• And do you have someone special in your life?

• I am alone, I answered. There is someone in my life that I fancy a lot. No, scrap that. There is someone in my life that I love with all of my heart, but just like you, he doesn't know because I never told him.

His hand slipped a bit lower and finally he took my hand in his. I noticed he was nervous because his hand was moist, but there was nothing on earth that could make me let his hand go. If I remembered well, it was the first intimate touch we ever had. Ok, we shook hands at the office and things like that, but this was different. Kevin squeezed my hand and pulled on it. I was amazed at the demonstration of strength. He pulled that hard that I fell on top of him. Once we were chest against chest, he wrapped his arms around me, preventing me to stand up. Our faces were so close together that I felt his breath on my face. I would have given the world to kiss him, but I couldn't.

• You know Ramses? Kevin asked. That special person I have in my life is more than special. He is unique and I am about to tell him everything I have in my heart. But before I start to tell him that, I will have to know for sure. The only way to know is to kiss him.

And with that, his hand slipped from my back to my neck and he pulled me closer. Our lips met, tentatively at first but there was like an electric sparkle going from his lips to mine. He pulled me in a second time, a little bit more forceful. Our lips met again and I couldn't help it. I gave in, opening my mouth just a little. Kevin sensed it and his tongue immediately invaded my mouth. I was flabbergasted. I didn't see him as someone who would cheat on a boyfriend, even though that friend didn't know yet that Kevin loved him. But I had been waiting for that kiss so long that I couldn't do anything else than to respond to it. I would have time afterwards to apologize.

When we parted I lifted my head to look in his eyes again. I had never seen what I saw. The intense look he gave me was full of love. I started to wonder, but he was faster.

• That special person I have in my life Ramses is you. I won't say I fell in love the first day I met you, but yes, the second day it was. Every time I looked at you I was in awe. More then once I stayed in my seat and close enough to my desk so that my hard-on was not too visible. At first I thought it was lust, because even if you don't know, you are a very, VERY attractive guy. Over the months and years, I learned to know you, appreciate you, wanting you. I thought you were a dream that would never come true. After all, you are my boss.

I was not sure I could believe my own ears. Was he really telling me that he loved me? Was my own dream coming true? I looked in his eyes and knew right there and then that he was a hundred percent sincere. There was nobody else but me in his heart! I had a sudden rush of adrenaline running through my veins. I pulled my body onto his. Our hard-ons that had subsided during the conversation came back at the speed of light. Our bodies were pressed together for the first time and we were kissing with the energy of first-time lovers.

A guy walked by and made a comment.

• Get a room guys, this is a public beach and soon the kids will arrive!

There was no animosity in his voice, just making clear that the show we were giving was maybe not the most appropriate for a Sunday on a public beach. We disentangled and pulled on our running gear in a desperate attempt to hide the physical result of our inner feelings.

We ran back to the house, probably a little faster than when we ran to the lake. I thought that when we had declared to the other, we would take it slowly to get to the next stage or level of our friendship, but that was all bullshit now. I wanted to make love to and with Kevin. I wanted to be in him like I was sure he wanted to be in me. We would have a lot of exploration to do and learn how to please the other. I wanted to discover his body with my eyes, my hands, my lips and my tongue. I wanted to kiss and lick every single spot on his body and wanted to feel him do the same to me. I didn't want to wait. We had already lost enough time!

We were soaked in sweat when we reached the house. I pulled Kevin by the hand to my bedroom and slammed the door close. I didn't want to shower. I wanted to lick all of his sweat. With an uncommon frenzy we undressed each other and fell naked on the bed. Kevin was all over me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Our lips met again and we kissed like there was no tomorrow. I had never done that before, but when I started to lick his body, drinking his sweat, my head was spinning. I had had sex before, but this was different, totally different. I wondered if he felt the same as I did. When his hands touched the slightest piece of skin it was as if there was heat emanating from his hands, transmitting it to my skin, wakening my nerves inside and sending jolts of electricity straight to the center of feelings in my brain. My brain translated those feelings and made me feel so damn well and alive. My nerves were in total overload and my heartbeat sped up to keep my body functioning according to his roaming hands.

It all seemed clumsy with our urges trying to satisfy all the bodily needs at the same time. I wanted to kiss and lick his whole body while feeling his lips and mouth on my over-heated body. I didn't have a lot of experience in making love, but my enthusiasm and determination made up for it. I didn't have a clue if Kevin was experienced or not, but the way he made me feel was more than enough for me. I was in heaven after waiting for this moment for months and even years. I didn't want this to stop, ever. I hadn't even touched his manhood yet and his hands were too busy in feeling my skin that he hadn't touched my nether regions either. Nonetheless I felt that familiar tingling in my lower abdomen that I recognized from when I was masturbating. Just the friction of our bodies together made me climax. I spurted a huge load between our stomachs and the throbbing of my cock sent a signal to Kevin who followed suit. It was a mind-blowing climax and I had to rest a few seconds to catch my breath and let my heartbeat come down to normal.

Kevin smiled at me.

• I guess we were ready for this, he said, but I certainly want a round two in a very, very near future!

We giggled like two teenagers. I got up and went to the bathroom for a wet washcloth and a towel. It was not that I was disgusted by our juices, but I knew that hairs and dried cum were not good friends. Neither of us went flaccid. I washed Kevin's stomach and dried him. I gave the head of his cock a little kiss and it jumped up. I washed and dried myself and let the washcloth and towel drop to the floor. I jumped back in bed and lay down next to Kevin. He was on his back and I lay down next to him on my left side and rested my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me. My hands roamed over his chest and I played with his chest hair, just as I had imagined I would do so many times.

I heard some noise in the hallway. I didn't know if it was Ken or Angela, but I instinctively pulled the sheet over our lower bodies. They had never seen my bedroom door closed and if it was Angela in the hallway, I knew her curiosity would be piqued and she would look in and that was exactly what happened. When she saw I was not alone in bed, she apologized and shut the door as quickly as she had opened it.

• I guess I will have to talk to her for a minute although I know she won't disapprove!

I got out of bed, pulled on the jeans that were on the chair next to me and looked for a second pair for Kevin. We went to the kitchen and Angela was making a fresh pot of coffee. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her.

• Sorry Sis, I should have warned you when we came back from our run!

• Sorry? For what? Do you mean you're sorry for finally have admitted your feelings towards Kevin? I don't think there is any reason for that. I am so glad you both finally came to your senses. I was tired of that puppy-love-look on both your faces and doing nothing about it!

Kevin and I had a sheepish smile on our faces when looking at each other. Angela found it cute and amusing. I put my arm around Kevin's waist and he had an arm on my shoulder. I looked at him and kissed him softly on his lips. The sole idea he had only a pair of jeans on his body made me horny again and it was visible! We sat down on the barstools at the kitchen island so that it would be less obvious, but Angela had seen it although she didn't make any comment about it.

We had a lovely chat. Angela embarrassed me a little by telling Kevin how I had been all those months, but she did in good faith. She actually tried to make it clear to Kevin that I really loved him and that it was not from today. Kevin really opened up to her and admitted his feelings were not new either. Angela made a simple statement.

• I know that Kevin!

He looked only half puzzled by her statement and she went on.

• The way you two are looking at each other doesn't leave anything to the imagination. It is crystal clear you have strong feelings for each other. I had to push my brother a little to open up to you and if I had had the slightest opportunity to talk to you in private Kevin, I would have told you exactly the same! But nonetheless, I knew there would come a time that you would both be ready and have THE conversation that would open your eyes. I am glad you finally did talk! I guess we will see you a bit more around now, isn't it Kevin?

• Only if there is unanimity among the three of you to have me around!

• Oh, don't worry about that. You already have the majority of votes as Ram will say yes and I do as well. Ken is so absorbed by his studies that he won't even notice.

• What is it I won't notice?

Ken had just entered the kitchen and had heard only the last sentence of our conversation.

• You won't notice if there is one more person around the house, Angela answered.

• Who?

• You see what I mean Kevin?

Then turning to Ken, she went on.

• Ken, are you blind or what? Haven't you ever seen that Ram and Kev (she really had a problem with more than one syllable in a first name!) are looking towards each other in a special way, trying desperately to hide their feelings towards each other?

• Oh... That! Do you mean they finally came out to each other?

• Yes indeed, they have.

Ken surprised us all by going over to Kevin and giving him a kiss on his cheek, then coming over to and doing the same. He was not really the guy to show his emotions or feelings. I didn't even remember him ever giving me a kiss! I guessed he was all right with the news.

• Does that mean that when it is my turn to cook I have to make dinner for four instead of three?

• That is a probability, I said, depending on Kevin.

• Don't worry Ken, Kevin said, I don't eat that much and besides... if I am going to be here a lot more, I guess it will be my turn to cook as well from time to time!

• ... And do the dishes afterwards, Ken added.

• Are you coming to live with us then? Angela asked.

My God! Those two were going really fast! We had just admitted we loved each other and they were already planning us living together on a permanent basis! Our first kiss was only two hours old and they seemed to see us married and all.

• Hey you two! I said. Hold your horses, please. We shared our first kiss less than two hours ago. We still have a lot to talk about and a lot to discover about each other! We won't go over a one-night-ice!

• That's bullshit Ram, Angela said. You know each other for years now and have mutual and reciprocal feelings for months if not years. I would be surprised you have a lot more to discover. Kev has been over for all the important events. Now your love is in the open and I think you two have lost enough time already. Don't worry, we'll help with the move.

• I'll help as well, Ken said, but wait at least till the exams are over. I still have a lot to study.

Kevin and I were both amused by their comments. They already saw us as a couple, an item. Their naïve innocence was so beautiful.

• Guys, I said, before Kevin and I decide to live openly as a gay couple, there are quite a few things we have to discuss. We work together. Don't forget it. There is an ethical aspect to consider!

• Oh, there you go again Ram, said Angela. I thought we had talked that over already!

And there she went, explaining to Kevin what her point of view was. For the first time Ken expressed his opinion openly.

• You are right Angela, but not everybody thinks the way you do. There is envy and jealousy in this world. Prejudice is a common thing with ninety percent of the people. There are disagreements everywhere. That's why there is a huge necessity for good lawyers! I think Ramses is right. There are things to consider and even to have a plan about them for when they'll be confronted with it.

• Ok, she answered, but there's no need either to put a big board in front of the house, telling that they are lovers!

• So, you want them to live a secret life? That won't work. Besides, even if they don't tell anybody they love each other, people will speculate about the fact they are always together. They will invent whatever crosses their mind to have something to tell. People have a natural need to feel they are interesting with the latest news around the block! And if they don't have the exact information, they'll blatantly lie about it.

Angela had to admit he had a point. In the neighborhood they would soon enough notice that Kevin's car was every day in the driveway if he lived with us. Although we didn't have to give any explanation, the questions would fuse in all directions in a very short time. We all remembered to well the comments after our parent's accident and the year after that. People were telling things that were not true at all. Even after my grandfather's heritage, some people were telling I had to deal drugs to be able to afford a BMW!

We dropped the subject for the moment. We were about to decide what we would have for lunch, but Kevin insisted to invite us all to the restaurant as to celebrate our coming out to each other.

• I thought you'd want to celebrate in another way, Ken said arching his eyebrows.

• They did that already, Angela said throwing all discretion in the wind.

• Oh! said Kevin, I guess a restaurant is ok then!

Kevin blushed deep red but smiled nonetheless.

When we came back from the restaurant, Ken went up to study and Angela went to hers. Kevin and I sat on the porch to the backyard.

• Quite a family you have Ramses, Kevin mentioned. It is the first time they are so open and talkative in my presence. Angela is the romantic one and Ken the pragmatic one. They are so different, but it is clear they love each other very much.

• Indeed they do! They have each their own personality, but would probably miss each other a lot if they were not living under the same roof. It is not that I don't love Ken, but I have a closer relationship with Angela. She is straightforward and doesn't hesitate to express her opinions. Ken is more reserved. When our parents died, Angela had no problems showing her feelings. Before my mother died, she showed me how upset she was with my mother drinking herself to death. That's one of the reasons you will never see her drink any alcohol at all, not even a glass of Champagne when there is a celebration. Ken was probably equally upset, but he didn't show it. It was like he had resigned himself to a fact he couldn't change. But the basic education we all three received was from before our parents passed away. Those were happy times. This house was always full of laughter and happiness. I so wish those times come back, although it will never be the same again.

• Don't look in the past Ramses. Live your life in the present. Fond memories will come your way at the most unexpected moments. What happens today will become a memory tomorrow. Look at us! We have lived frustrations of not being able to touch each other during a very long time. Nonetheless, this waiting has brought us to today and we don't have to hide it anymore, at least not when we are together. But from today on, we have to know what we want. We know we love each other, right?

I nodded.

• Do you want us to live together like your sister is suggesting?

• I think so!

• Do you want us to have a relationship for all to know?

• Yes and no, I said, it all depends on us, and the consequences it can have on a professional basis. The business is running well and I am sure the majority of our personnel respects us. But would it be the same if they knew that we were actually an item?

• If it is really respect they have, that we are an item or not, will not change a thing. If it is a fake respect, it will matter, but then we have to think if that person is worth being part of our personnel. As for the providers, if they find out and don't agree with our lifestyle, I am sure there are hundreds of others that would be glad to take their place. But as your sister said, we are at the store to work and not to fool around. I am sure there are already some people who suspect something. If your sister could see in our eyes we have feelings for each other, there are quite some chances other people saw it, too. There is no reason for us to change the way we interact with each other on a professional basis. Like you said: we don't have to advertise our being gay and together. If anyone has the guts to ask us straight in the face, we answer honestly and take it from there.

• I guess you are right, but nonetheless, it scares me a little. I guess I attach to much importance to what people will think about me or us. Angela pointed out to me the other day that I didn't know who is sleeping with who in our company. Therefor our personnel shouldn't wonder about us. After all, it is our life.

• If you are not sure about it, take a piece of paper and a pencil and write down the pros and the cons!

I laughed when he said that and went into the house as I had kept the one I made earlier. I showed it to Kevin. His comment was hilarious.

• I see you did your homework!

Yes, I had, but the equation was slightly different now, as we had opened up to each other. He read the paper carefully and asked who had written the words "Love" and "Misery". I told him and he had a smile on his face when he said he'd thought it.

• You know? he said, that people know that we are together won't change a thing. We know it! And that makes a huge difference. It is impossible to revert to the situation we had before we opened up. If people saw how we looked at each other although we didn't know it, imagine what they will see when we look at each other now. I don't think it will be possible to hide and, as a matter of fact, we shouldn't have to hide it anyway. It makes me think of the title of a book written by Gordon Merrick: "The Lord won't mind, there is enough hate in the world".

I couldn't agree more with him, but... There was always that "but" about what people would think. As well Angel as Kevin tried to convince me that I shouldn't think about what people thought, as I couldn't avoid it anyway, whatever I would do or say. Selfishness was no longer a flaw in this case. To be happy and in harmony with my environment, and myself, I had to think about myself in the first place. Ok, I wanted to be in harmony with Kevin and my close ones, too. But to be in harmony with others it was imperative to be ok with myself.

• You know, Kevin said, I have been dreaming about being with you like we are now. I love you and want a committed relationship with you. It will only be possible if you are ok with it. You have to accept the fact we are together despite of our professional occupation. If we are not in harmony, we won't be able to make it work. If it is really the professional side of the equation that is bothering you, I'm ready to quit my job, because our relationship is far more important to me. With my experience I know I'll find something else, but I won't find another person like you! If you want to think it over, I agree and I'll leave now to let you do it. Tell me when you are ready, and I'll be waiting for you.

As he finished his sentence, he got up and collected his keys and wallet. He gave me a little kiss on the lips and was out of the door. He had not reached his car yet and I was already missing him. I felt miserable to have let the situation come that far, almost chasing him out of my life. Angela had heard the starting engine of Kevin's car and came down running. She didn't find me immediately till she looked outside.

• What happened? Why did Kevin leave?

I told her our conversation.

• You know Ram, you deserve a slap in the face! I don't do it because I respect you and I love you, but you still deserve it. There is no way you will find someone like him. He is just perfect for you and you know it. On top of that you love each other and have been longing to be in each other's arms for quite some time. Why is it that you chase him away? This is so absurd!

• I know Sis, but I still have my doubts about the ethical approach of the whole thing. What will people think?

• To hell with what people think! She was almost shouting. Do you really think that "people" care about what you think about them? They don't care at all. They live their own lives no matter what you think about them.

She paused in desperation.

• Did what people think stop you when you were with Sam? No, you didn't. Why would it be different now?

• The difference is that Sam and I have the same age, we were just young and exploring! This is different because with Kevin we have a difference of eleven years and he is the manager of my store!

• Ok! He is eleven years older and knows that people will talk and he doesn't give a damn. The one who is in the most awkward position, eventually, is Kevin. People can think he seduced you so he could take advantage of your money and secure his job.

• Oh come on Sis, don't be silly. Nobody knows what kind of money we have and Kevin was in place before I even showed up.

• Exactly my point Ram! My God! Stop being stubborn and accept the fact you two are deeply in love. There is no doubt about that. Live YOUR life and do what YOU want. There is no use in living the life others expect from you, because they don't! Kevin said he would be waiting for you, and I was sure he would, but don't forget that tomorrow, or even tonight he can casually meet someone else and than you'll lose him forever!

Those were harsh words, but I knew she was right. I doubted very much that Kevin would just "casually" meet someone else tonight but I understood the metaphor. She was six years younger than me, but she had such a mature mind!

I went to bed, hating myself for having the thoughts I had. Hating myself for the way I acted. Hating myself for letting him go. I had to change my thoughts and be more positive. I had finally reached the point I had been dreaming about for months and years and was spoiling it with thoughts of people who didn't care in my life. That was so stupid. That was so not like me at all. I would talk to Kevin in the morning. I tried to find sleep by hugging the pillow Kevin's head had been on. It still faintly smelled of him. I had to keep my own life in my own hands!

The next morning I got up and showered, had some coffee and went to the store a little early as I knew that Kevin was always there before the opening of the store. I rushed in and almost ran to his office, but only saw an empty chair. Kevin was not there yet. I went through the procedure of opening the shop and Kevin was still not there. I started to worry seriously. I called his cell but it was disconnected. I became a nervous wreck in a matter of seconds and was sweating as if I had run a five-mile trip.

It was well past eleven when Kevin came through the door. He didn't look well. He just apologized for being late, but nothing else. He was everything except talkative. When I asked him what was going on he just said "Nothing!" That was bullshit of course and we both knew it and I was even more convinced about it as his eyes were moist, on the verge of crying. I got up and went to close the door, something we never did. The girls in the office looked puzzled.

• Kevin, please... Talk to me! I said.

He pressed his lips together as to avoid saying anything. This was totally new to me. We had never reached such a point. I went around his desk, pulled his chair back and kneeled between his legs. I took his hands in mine and pleaded with my eyes.

• Please...

He looked at me with such an intense stare that it was almost frightening. I couldn't read that stare. Was he angry? Was he disappointed? Was he sad? Was he confused? I had no idea. He opened his mouth several time, about to say something, but nothing came out at first. I squeezed his hands, trying to show him I cared for him. I was determined to give him the necessary time to express his feelings and to tell me whatever was going on in his heart and head. The waiting was excruciating painful, but I didn't move.

At one point there was a knock on the door.

• Not now! I shouted.

My shout had probably been a little louder than what I intended and it shook Kevin out of his almost paralyzed state. He looked at me and a single tear rolled out of his eyes and over his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.

• Sorry, he said, I didn't intend to be late. I wasn't sure to come in today.

• Why?

• Ramses, you have to understand. Yesterday you made my dream come true and a few hours later you just shattered it to pieces. I can't live with that. If you don't want us to be together, tell me now and I will disappear because there is no way I can be here and work with you every day, knowing you prefer people's opinions above mine. I respect your thoughts, but can't live with them. I am devastated because I found you and lost you in less than a few hours. It is too hard for me. I don't want to be confronted every single working day with a person that I love and who rejects me, certainly on a basis of "what will people think" I know, I said I would be waiting, but I lied. Such a wait is totally inhumane. It is worse than a cancer eating you from inside. I know I am going to put some pressure on you, but I have to know what you want. If it is not according to my wishes, as I said, I will disappear. You are more than capable enough to run the business without me.

He dropped his eyes, but I was sure he didn't look at anything. I was still holding his hand but they were empty of any energy. He was sitting in his chair, but he looked as if he was not there. His words touched me in the deepest of my heart. I felt so guilty to be the cause of his desperation. My own eyes were moistening fast. I let his hand go and put my finger under his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes. His eyes had lost their happy sparkle. I realized that my thoughts and my actions had done a lot more damage than I could imagine. Although it was I on my knees between his legs, it was Kevin who was mentally on his knees, begging me. He was in total agony! He looked like someone who was using his last strength to save a situation that was in MY hands. I had to act. I had to make a decision on the spot and respect that decision whatever happened afterwards. Indeed, he was putting pressure on me, but not that much after all. Angela's words of the previous night sounded in my head, telling me to be careful if I didn't want to lose him. I knew I was scared and feared to face a world full of prejudice, with people judging me and even condemning me. It was a reality, but I realized it was nothing compared to the hurt I saw in Kevin's eyes. Apart from Ken and Angela, Kevin was the most important person in my life and I loved him so much. I suddenly had the image of my mother before the accident. She had chosen for love. The love she had for my father had been stronger than the reaction of her parents, disowning her because they didn't agree with her decision! Was I going to follow my grandparent's way of seeing things, or was I to follow my mother's? It was not even the disagreement of my parents. It was the disagreement of "people" unknown to who they were!

I stood up, pulling Kevin out of his chair. I took his hands and put them on my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He was reluctant at first.

• Don't kiss me and leave me standing here afterwards. Be sure of the direct and indirect implications of a kiss.

• I know what I am doing Kevin and believe me or not, I fully understand every single implication of this kiss.

I leaned in again and our lips brushed softly at first, but the kiss turned out to be a very passionate one in a matter of a single instant. I almost regretted I had closed the door. Suddenly I didn't care who saw me kissing Kevin and what they would think about it. A heavy weight fell from my shoulders. I hadn't realized how liberating it was to be oneself. I fully assimilated the fact I was committing myself to Kevin entirely. It was far more than a marriage. It was a promise. My father always had told me that when I made a promise I had to respect that promise even if I was going to put myself in trouble, but he added to promise as less as possible.

We parted and I looked in Kevin's eyes.

• Kevin, I promise you that your opinion will always be above other people's thoughts. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, as long as you want me. We don't need any legal paper to prove that. We don't have to go to Town Hall or to any church to prove that we love each other.

We had both tears in our eyes, but they were tears of happiness. Through his tears I could see that the sparkle in his eyes had returned. He was smiling again for the first time since he left the house the previous day. Our bodies were pressed together and formed only one. Once again there was a knock on the door and I shouted "Enter" without letting go of Kevin. The girl opened the door wide and everybody could see us standing there in each other's arms. The girl was standing there, petrified and speechless. I turned my head to her and asked her what was the matter. She shook her head as if she had to wake-up from a temporary paralysis and once she recovered her speech she said we had one of the providers who wanted to see us. She quickly added that she could ask the provider to come back later. I said it was ok to send him in. Kevin and I disentangled and a few moments later the provider came in. We both switched over to professional mode and had a business conversation as if nothing had happened before.

The business meeting was over around one o'clock and we went for lunch. I had warned the girls that we had a lot to talk about and wouldn't come back after lunch. My idea was to have a private meeting with Kevin after lunch, but I was not sure we would be able to talk a lot. Actually, we skipped lunch and went straight to the house. There was a trail of clothes from the entrance, on the stairs and leading to the bedroom. You could think we had some romantic lovemaking. Nothing of the sort! We were so hungry for each other that we climaxed a first time after only five minutes in bed. But our hunger was not fulfilled. Our juices had time to dry between our stomachs while we were kissing. We were stuck together, but not enough to avoid us to discover once again all the spots that made us go. Kevin showered my face with kisses before starting a travel all over my body, beginning at my ears and earlobes, softly biting them. His voyage went on nibbling at the tender flesh between my ears and my collarbone, kissing and licking his way down to my erect nipples, sucking them and softly munching on them, sending shivers from the first to the last hair on my head, to my toes that were curling to an almost painful position. His hands roamed over my body leaving a trail of electric jolts that connected directly to my steel-hard cock. When he reached my nether region I was about to unload again, but he sensed it and softened his attack on my nervous system. He licked out my navel and my cock-head was pushing under his chin. He was clean-shaven but nonetheless his stubble was coming through, scratching my over-sensitive cock-head. I was gasping for air and more than once held my breath as if it would help me control my overloaded senses. Kevin looked up to me, opened his mouth wide and then engulfed my cock. The warm moisture of his mouth was adding a new sensation and I squirmed under his ministrations. He sucked it in till his nose was buried in my pubes. I could actually feel his throat-muscles at work and giving me more pleasure than I had ever experienced. He then started to withdraw till only my cock-head was between his lips, twirling his tongue over it and then going back down to burry his nose once again in my pubes.

I urged him to turn around so I could give him at least half the pleasure he was giving me. We were soon in a 69 position and I almost attacked his manhood with ferocity. I gulped it down and had to fight the gag-reflex a few times, but could feel his pubes at my nose after a few tries. I played with his buttocks while he massaged my balls. We had never talked about the fact who was top or bottom, and I didn't really care although I was still an anal virgin. If he wanted to penetrate me, I would open up to him with gusto. If he wanted me inside of him, I would do it with all of my heart. But we weren't there yet. In our 69-position I put my arms behind his legs and pulled till his legs were spread and his rosebud accessible. I let go of his cock and munched my way to his ass, dedicating some time to his taint. I knew mine was sensitive and guessed his must be as well. When I reached his puckered hole, I didn't hesitate a second. My tongue glided over it and I heard a loud moan, encouraging me to go on. I French kissed his hole and tried to push my tongue in, but he was so tight! I used my fingers to open him up a bit more and tried again. I must have hit a very sensitive spot as Kevin stopped doing what he did and let the sensations overwhelm him. That incited me to go on even more. Kevin resumed his actions and did as I had done: putting his arms behind my legs and pulling them towards him to spread my buttocks till he could approach my rosebud. From a cock 69-postion we had switched to an ass 69. We munched and licked and soon both our asses were bathed in spit. While Kevin continued licking my most private entrance I went back to his cock. He was oozing pre-cum and I drank it all and just loved it.

Suddenly Kevin spun around, took my ankles in his hands and spread my legs very wide. He kneeled at my ass, pushing his knees under my lower back, lifting my hips to the desired height and I could feel his cock-head on my hole. I breathed in and out a few times and tried to relax. I was an anal virgin but had read enough and seen enough things on the Internet to know what to do. He pushed a few times, but my sphincter muscle was still quite closed. He used some more strength and his cock-head got in, causing an excruciating and burning pain. Kevin stayed still but didn't withdraw. He gave me time to get used to the sudden invasion. He didn't start any in-and-out movement till he felt my muscles relax. Once I could breath again and relax a bit, he pushed in slowly, using little thrusts that allowed him to get in further.

He took his time, but finally I felt the hair of his pubes tickle my ass-cheeks. He was in up to the hilt. He let go of my ankles and they immediately locked on his lower back. He leaned forward and kissed me with a newfound energy. His hips started to move slowly at first. When he felt I was comfortable enough he increased his speed. I was in heaven! I didn't want that feeling to ever stop. With every inwards thrust he pushed forcefully on my prostate and I didn't know what was happening to me! I didn't even know my prostate could give me so much pleasure. I had seen in some porn that guys, who were penetrated in the ass, lost their erection. I didn't! The friction of his lower belly on my hard-on was adding to the pleasure of him plowing my ass. I could feel my balls retracting into my lower abdomen. I felt that special tingling in my whole body that announced a building climax. Kevin's cock in my hole, his tongue in my mouth and his fingers pinching my nipples was all too much for me to keep my ejaculation under control. I knew I was going to unload very soon and as the first spurt erupted, I squeezed my ass-muscles really hard. It seemed this was the trigger for Kevin as I felt the throbbing of his cock in my ass. I added a supplementary load between our stomachs while he filled me inside. I didn't count the spurts but realized I had never cum like that before.

We stayed in our current position till our heartbeats came back to a normal pace. We caught our breaths. We kissed as if there was no tomorrow. Very slowly our cocks deflated and Kevin's left my hole although none of us wanted it. It made me feel so empty although I had his seed in me. Kevin lifted his head and looked in my eyes. His smile was even brighter than what I had ever seen on his face.

• This was totally incredible and awesome, he said.

I was still too overwhelmed to be able to answer and I just hoped my eyes were telling him how much I had loved it. I unlocked my ankles and let down my legs. Kevin rolled off of me and lay down next to me, opening his arms and inviting me to cuddle up with him. I rested my head on his chest and heard his heartbeat. I couldn't be happier and more satisfied. I closed my eyes and reveled in the afterglow of a post orgasmic bliss. I was so relaxed that I fell asleep. Not for long though. The physical activity had worn us out.

When we came back to our senses, we showered together. The warm cascading water and the slippery soap woke us up. I couldn't believe it when I looked down and saw that my cock was hardening again. While washing Kevin's back I couldn't help to slip my hand between his buttocks and tease his rosebud. He joyfully moaned. It encouraged me to push a finger inside him and his moans turned into groans and he wiggled with his bubble butt. It didn't take me long to understand it was a horny invitation. Although it looked too good to be true, I got closer and my cock nestled itself between his buttocks. Kevin pushed them backwards and after a few tries, without the help of our hands, my cock-head pointed straight on target. With all the soap I needed only a small thrust to pass his sphincter muscle. I wanted to give him time to get used, but Kevin pushed forcefully backwards and impaled himself on my manhood. Man! He had the hottest insides! I was still standing there without moving, but Kevin did all the work, moving his hips in such a way that I was going in and out. He used his ass-muscles to the best of his abilities and literally milked me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and grabbed his evenly hard cock in my soapy hands. I didn't even have to stroke him, as his hips were a perfectly oiled machine, causing pleasure to both of us. I was surprised at the speed I reached my third climax and unloaded inside of him while he deposited a load in my hand. I wanted to stay like that, but the water coming out of the shower head turned cold in a question of a few seconds. We almost jumped out of the shower and dried each other.

I didn't want Ken or Angela finding a trail of clothes all over the place and went down to retrieve them. We just pulled on jeans and T-shirts and went down to the kitchen. Ken and Angela were about to arrive home and I thought it was not a bad idea of starting dinner although it was only five o'clock. Maybe we could prepare something that was easy to heat up at the time we wanted to eat. We looked in the fridge to see what was available. We worked side-by-side and coordinated quite well. Yes, we were compatible and complementary, being it on a professional level, in the kitchen and even in bed... or in the shower as a matter of fact. We constantly touched, as if we needed the reassurance that the other was there. We kissed almost constantly. Some were just little pecks where others were frankly passionate kisses that caused stirrings in our jeans.

Since that day, we almost always arrived together at work and the word had spread at the speed of light what the girls had seen. Nobody made any comment about it, at least no directly in our faces. I guessed they did when we were not there or not able to hear them. My past fears showed their head from time to time, but Kevin told me that if people talked about us, it meant that we were interesting enough, but most of our personnel kept smiling and delivering a good job.

The idea of a second store came back on the table. If we wanted to avoid paying too many taxes, it started to be urgent to make the appropriate decisions. The following Saturday we went to explore the southern part of town. There was a smaller industrial zone there but nothing really available for our needs. The surface we needed was not small at all, but we also needed enough parking space. Our accountant had told us that if we wanted to reduce taxes, the best way to do it was to buy a warehouse with a loan from the bank, even if we could afford it to buy it cash.

I contacted Mr. Evans, my bank manager, and explained the situation. He looked over the different accounts we had, as well the personal account as the professional one. He didn't see any problem to give a professional loan and gave me an idea of how much would be available. It was going to cost us quite some money but he confirmed what our accountant had said: the interest would be lower than what we saved in taxes. So, it was a win-win situation. The biggest problem was to find an adequate building.

On our search we were confronted with a strike. It was a supermarket that had decided to close its doors and the workers didn't agree with it. They went on strike as to oblige the supermarket chain to keep their doors open. As soon as we got home, Kevin and I went searching for information on Internet. We found various newspaper reports explaining the position of the workers who were going to lose their jobs, but also the position of the supermarket's head quarters explaining that the costs were higher than the profits and that they had to close down. It occurred to me that the supermarket was probably having the right and necessary surface. If we bought the building we would automatically have a bunch of people to fill the jobs. We looked for a telephone number, or an address or e-mail address. Once we found it, I called immediately and asked to speak to the responsible people. I have to admit that the receptionist was kind, but not really efficient as I switched through to about five different people before I could speak to the right person. We made an appointment for the very next day.

We were three to present ourselves the next morning: our accountant, Kevin and I. We were ushered into a boarding room and met Mr. Haynes. He was the CEO of the supermarket chain. We sat down and went straight to the point.

There were a few facts that were quite important. First of all we needed to know if they were the owners of the building or not. The answer was affirmative. The second important information was the date they would definitely close. We were quite surprised that the supermarket had actually closed its doors the same morning. If we bought the building, how much time did they need to evacuate it completely? Mr. Haynes assured us that it was only a question of days. And last, but not least, what was the price they asked for the building. The figure Mr. Haynes mentioned was a little higher of what we could afford, as we had to re-arrange it completely and install quite a lot of things.

It was Kevin's negotiation skills that entered in the discussion. He had some obvious arguments that showed Mr. Haynes that if he didn't lower his price, he could lose a lot more. It was not every day that you could sell a warehouse as big as his. It would probably stand empty for several months and deteriorate. Kevin made an offer that was, of course, lower than the price Mr. Haynes had mentioned at the start. It was obvious the offer had to be submitted to the board of directors. We would receive news from him before the end of the week. What a horrible week that was! We had seen the original plans of the building and it was exactly what we needed. Even though we didn't have an affirmative answer yet, we were already organizing the available space. It would be a shame if the board of directors voted against our offer. We knew Mr. Haynes was in favor of our offer, but we hadn't met the other directors and didn't know what they were thinking.

On Friday I was in the store checking on a few things when over the PA system I heard I was asked into the office. I arrived at the same moment our accounted entered the office. Kevin warned Mr. Haynes on the phone that he was switching on the loudspeaker.

• Gentlemen, Mr. Haynes said, the board of directors would be in favor of you offer, but would like to put a condition.

• What condition is that, I asked.

• The condition is that, as far as possible, you would consider hiring the personnel that is about to lose its job. We are very concerned about them. In normal circumstances we would relocate them to other supermarkets we have, but for the moment we don't need any supplementary personnel in any of them. We would even consider lowering the price even more according to the amount of people you hire.

• Mr. Haynes, I said, we have a deal!

• I am very glad to hear that. We still have to put everything on paper and make an appointment to sign them.

• Of course Mr. Haynes. I will switch through to our accountant manager so that you can give him all the necessary details. If you agree, we'll meet on Tuesday morning to have everything official. Have a nice weekend!

• To you, too, gentlemen. See you on Tuesday.

We left the office to let our accountant write down whatever he needed. I immediately called Mr. Evans at the bank to prepare a certified check for about half the total price. He said it would be ready at the last hour of Monday. I took Kevin in my arms and hugged him and automatically our lips met and we kissed. The girls in the office got used to it!

On the Tuesday we met and signed a whole bunch of papers. I handed Mr. Haynes the certified check of the bank. He handed us the original plans of the building. We had asked them to make copies and start organizing the store, as we wanted, at least on paper. On the Wednesday we started interviewing the existing personnel of the supermarket. Almost all of them were immediately hired. Just a few of them, who showed incompatible attitudes, were discarded. The following Monday they were all on the payroll. We had organized a rotation. Every existing member of the existing personnel would have a new one following him or her. The next day they would follow someone else and so on during the time we needed to organize and develop the new store. This system was supposed to have everybody knowing almost everything. The existing personnel would have a sheet where they had to write their comments on specific points of the training. We had to thank our personnel because the reports were so accurate and precise that the task of distributing the different jobs in the respective departments went easy.

The last difficult task we had before opening the new store was to find the adequate manager. Kevin would stay as the general manager of the first store. I would be the supervising manager for both stores. The selection procedure was given out to an outside company, specialized in hiring executives. They did the preliminary selection till they reduced the amount of candidates to about ten people. They presented their reports, which were very precise and complete. They also recommended in those ten people the ones that had specific qualifications and interesting for the job. I had to interview the ten candidates and Kevin assisted me as much as he could. They all appealed to me after the first round of interviews. Kevin, based on a few answers they gave, almost immediately discarded two of them. We had a second round of interviews and we warned the candidates that there would be a more personal approach. When they heard that, two more abandoned the selection. We were left with six. The third round discarded three more who apparently had problems with gay people. We had to make a choice among the three that still wanted the job. There was no rational reason to select one or the other.

Finally, we chose the guy who was the most charismatic: Richard Miles. He was thirty two, married with two small children, a university degree in business management and a similar 3 years experience to what we were expecting form him. We called him to tell him he got the job and he was quite happy about it. His salary expectations were a bit lower than what we offered him, so he was even more pleased. He would start on the following Monday at the first store to learn the ropes about how we did things. He was a quick learner and we were happy about our choice. The two other candidates were not so happy, but couldn't do anything else than accept our decision with resignation.

Exactly two months after the purchase of the building, we opened the doors for the first time. Richard had had a few brilliant ideas about publicity and marketing and quite a lot of people came to buy during that first day. Kevin and I were there to help, but it was superfluous. Richard managed very well and had his crew under control. We decided to leave him do his job and he had our cell phone numbers in case he needed them. Our routine was to have a weekly meeting on Mondays and we went on with it, only that now Richard was present at the meetings as well. It didn't take us very long to discover that Richard was indeed the best candidate of the list we had started with. His monthly reports were as accurate and precise as Kevin's. The sale results were good and he had even done some prospection in his part of town and got new important clients who came on a steady basis.

Ken and Angela graduated, each in their own specialty, at the same time due to the fact Ken had a few more years to study than Angela to have his title. I was so proud of them. Ken was now officially a lawyer and even had received a few offers from big law firms to join their team. He hadn't decided yet and was looking at all the pros and cons of the different offers. The most appealing one was located at the other side of the country and that was pushing him a little out of his comfort zone, but he didn't discarded it.

Angela, on the other hand, accepted immediately the first offer that came her way as she had opted during her studies to be a surgery nurse. That was kind of a specialization that not a lot of students followed, but she was fascinated by it. Our local hospital was in urgent need of people like Angela and was quite happy that she accepted the job. One of the inconveniences was that she had to be on stand-by on her days off, but she didn't really mind.

To recompense them both on their achievements I used some money of the sale of our grandfather's house to buy them each a new car as the Miata was getting too old and wasn't safe anymore. Angela wanted the newer version of the Miata as she just loved the car and as soon as the weather allowed it, drove it with the top down. Ken was more of a conservative kind and opted for a basic BMW. He preferred a basic BMW than an upscale other brand. Both were on cloud nine with their new toy.

Ken made his final decision and accepted the offer of the law firm at the other side of the country. The contract came with a company car, but he shyly declined it as he had a new one of his own. As the contract came with a big apartment, he asked if there was a possibility to have furniture instead of the car. His new bosses were a bit surprised by his request but finally accepted. Ken's move turned out to be a family trip. He had to drive to the new place and was not looking forward to do all the way on himself. Angela had still a few weeks before starting her new job, so she went with him so that he wouldn't be alone. Kevin and I took a plane to join them. We spent a few days there to help Ken picking up the necessary furniture and help him settling down in his new apartment. Then we all three flew back home.

It felt so strange at first to be only three at the table to eat. We all missed Ken a lot, but knew that he had made the right choice. We talked almost daily on the phone and connected Skype at least once a week to update each other. When Angela finished her trial period at the hospital and was offered a definite contract, she decided to be as independent as possible and rented an apartment very close to the hospital. I helped her with the furniture and she soon was on her own as well. That left just Kevin and I at the dinner table, except for festivities or birthdays, or whenever Ken came to visit.

That was the time when I thought it would be good to refurbish the house. We had kept everything in good working order, but it was obvious nothing had changed since my parents had bought it. The kitchen for example was functional, but it was really old-fashioned. A few of the appliances were really in need to be replaced. Then there was the general layout of the house that had been built in the 1960's. Before starting the refurbishing I asked Kevin to come and live with me on a permanent basis. Just as I suspected, he didn't hesitate at all. We were both good in DIY, but some of the works we wanted done were a bit too specialized and we had to contract a constructor to do them. We knew most of the constructors in town, but we didn't want to show any favoritism to any of our clients. We asked for offers to most of them and based on those, and their good reputation, we decided for one of them.

I don't know if any of you has ever been living in a house where works were on their way. It is horrible! Dust everywhere! And of course, by the fact all cupboards, drawers and closets had to be emptied, as new ones would replace most of them. That meant that during the time of the works we were spending a lot of time searching for the things we needed and that were in boxes. It worked on my nerves and Kevin had to be very patient with me. He tried to calm me down as much as he could, but, I admit it, I was a real pain in the ass. Of course, as always when starting works on an older house, quite a lot of problems came to daylight. The general structure of the house was good, but plumbing and electricity were not really safe any more and had to be replaced. We wanted a few walls out and discovered we had to put in beams, as they appeared to be vital for the stability of the house. All in all, the foreseen time of works (two months) AND the budget were doubled! The only compensation we had was that the house was a lot safer and ready to face another century. On the ground floor we had now an open space with an ultra modern kitchen and a fireplace. On the first floor we had reduced from four bedrooms to three and added an extra en-suite bathroom to our bedroom. We used the third bedroom as a walk-in dresser. The second bedroom was a guest-room for when Ken came over. Angela was living not so far away and wouldn't sleep over anymore.

As the works ended in early December, we decided to have Christmas all together in our new surroundings. I even invited Sam over as he had told me in his last e-mail that he had some time off in the army. I was curious to see if he had changed a lot being a marine now. I hadn't seen him for over three years.

Kevin and I spent a whole weekend to find the appropriate Christmas tree and decorating it. You could wonder why we needed a whole weekend to decorate a tree. It was just because I felt more relaxed, as the works in the house were finally over, and Kevin was one horny beast! The Christmas spirit got to him and he said that I was the best Christmas present he ever had and wanted to "unwrap" me all the time. After round one of passionate lovemaking, I dressed again to continue the decoration, but he was still so horny that he had to "unwrap" me a second time. We had made love twice on that Saturday morning before we even had lunch! The afternoon was a repeat session of the morning. Around seven that night, the only thing we had achieved was to have four climaxes and the lights in the tree! The Sunday was a lot like the Saturday, but at least we managed to finish the complete decoration of the tree.

I didn't like the idea of preparing a "traditional" Christmas meal. Most of the times those traditional meals were falling like a heavy stone on your stomach. I wanted to have something light and that wouldn't interfere with a good digestion. I found some living lobsters and thought it was a good idea, but I had never prepared lobster before! I went on the Internet to look for a good recipe and was flabbergasted when I saw that I had to put them life in boiling broth! I did it because that was what all the recipes said, but I did it once and will never do it again although the result was absolutely delicious. Why I will not do it ever again is because when you drop them in the broth, you hear like a whistling sound, as if they blow out their last breath. Never again!

Under the Christmas tree there were already quite a lot of beautiful wrapped packets. I was not really a "shopping" guy, but at Christmas I always got in the mood. All the shops were nicely decorated. Hundreds of things were for sale on Christmas that you didn't even notice the rest of the year. I never had a problem with what to buy for whom, on the contrary. If I didn't held back, I could buy an entire shop.

Ken arrived two days early. I went to get him at the airport. He was loaded with presents as well. When he entered the house he was at awe. He didn't recognize it! I showed him all the things we had done and told him in detail all the problems we had encountered and fixed. I had made pictures all during the works and I proudly showed him the evolution of the house during the four months. The only thing in the house that not changed was the staircase that led to the first floor and the outside of the house. He liked the new layout, the colors of the walls, the curtains... everything received his approbation.

He unpacked his two suitcases, but there were very little clothes in them. Almost everything was Christmas presents. He put them all under the tree next to Kevin's and mine. Knowing Angela would be loaded, too, we were in for a few hours of unpacking them. The day before Christmas, she dropped by and unloaded them. I knew that there was not a lot of loading space in the Miata, but even the front seat next to her was full of wrapped-up packets.

We were going to be five for the Christmas dinner, so I dressed a table for six. It is an old tradition with us to always dress the table for one more person than the foreseen guests. It is called the "Invisible Guest". It is also meant to make any unforeseen guest feel welcome and not having that awkward moment where you have to add plates, cutlery and glasses at the last moment. We always celebrate Christmas on December 24th with the dinner and the presents given out and received. On Christmas day it self, as usual we eat the leftovers from the previous night. I don't know if you have the same thing as me: I always prepare far too much food in those occasions.

Kevin and I had been busy in the kitchen all afternoon, preparing little toast for the aperitif, the first course that consisted of three mousses of salmon, halibut and shrimps. The main course was the lobster with tree sauces you could choose from and an Italian Tiramisu was the dessert. Out of experience we served Champagne from aperitif to dessert, as we knew that mixing drinks could be fatal for a hangover the next day.

Angela could arrive at any time she wanted and Sam was expected around seven. I was a bit puzzled when they arrived both at the same time and in the same car. They didn't give voluntarily any explanation about it. I guessed they had agreed on it because Angela was not going to drink as she was on stand-by. Sam, being a Marine, was probably used to drink more but didn't want to be stopped by the police after the evening.

Sam was just as much in awe as Ken had been. He had known my parent's house for so many years without the slightest change and now, even if the house looked identical outside, he couldn't believe his eyes with what he saw inside. We had all quite a lot to talk about. For Kevin and me it was the fact we were finally living together, the refurbishing of the house and the success of the second store. Ken was over the moon with his new apartment and the new job. Angela was so passionate about her work in surgery and Sam had hundred and one stories to tell about what he was living in the army. The conversations were as varied as animated.

We were just about to sit down at the nice decorated table when we heard the front doorbell ring. Kevin got up to answer it. After about ten minutes he was still not back and I guessed there was a problem somewhere. I went to the entry hall to find him with Richard in his arms. Richard was obviously crying. Kevin looked at me and silently sent me a message to leave them a moment longer. I went back in, trusting Kevin entirely. If he asked me to keep out it was because there was a good reason to it. I suddenly realized that putting a sixth plate on the table was probably a good tradition.

After about another fifteen minutes, Kevin came in with Richard in tow. Richard had freshened up and except for maybe a little more reddish eyes, you couldn't see he had been crying. I just showed him the empty seat and he actually felt welcome, almost as if he had been expected. Kevin and I went to the kitchen while Richard, Sam, Ken and Angela got a bit more acquainted. Kevin brought me quickly up-to-date. Richard's wife had left him, taking with her their two kids. He was devastated, even more because she had done on Christmas Eve. He didn't know where to go and as he had a very good connection with us, he came here. He told Kevin that in his own house, the walls were coming down on him. He couldn't stand it to be there alone in that silent house. He had profusely apologized to just ring the door without being invited or announced.

• Are you angry with me that I invited him to stay? Kevin asked.

• Of course not, you did very well. We care for our people, don't we? It is already a heavy burden on his shoulders that his wife left with the kids. We can't oblige him to face solitude on a Christmas Eve!

Kevin kissed me as if he had to thank me. He didn't have to thank me for anything, because I would have done exactly the same. Nonetheless, I was a bit frightened that he would bring down the general atmosphere, but he didn't. I guess I can say he put on a poker face and tried to blend in as much as possible. I observed him most of the time and discovered a new facet of his personality. Even though the circumstances were not really the best, he kept smiling and appreciated the food and said so.

The lobster got a lot of Ohhs and Ahhs and at one point the conversation died completely as everyone was concentrated on the seafood. Richard tried to eat his lobster with fork and knife but was miserably failing. When he looked at me I took one of the lobster clamps in my hands to break it and eat the inside. He smiled and followed my example. We all looked funny with the big plastic bibs, but with lobster it is a must if you don't want to stain your clothes. When we finished the lobster, I kept all of the hard rests to make a soup the following day, by putting them in a blender, then passing if all through a piece of cloth and adding cognac and cream. Just delicious!

Kevin's Tiramisu had a huge success. Ken and Angela had it already and were so happy that he made it for this night. Richard asked where he had bought it.

• My dear Richard, Kevin answered. This Tiramisu is something you can't buy anywhere, because I make it myself. I learned to make it with my mother. We had an Italian family living next door and the woman showed my mother and I how to make it following the original Italian recipe. It's actually a lot easier to make than what most people think. And... so that you know it for the future, in this house we do it all by ourselves. We never buy pre-cooked meals, not even the lobster.

• I am sorry I assumed you had bought it. It is absolutely fabulous.

• Don't be sorry. Eat it and enjoy it!

If he had dared, Richard would have licked his plate!

While we took the dirty dishes to the kitchen, I mentioned to Kevin that we had so much presents to give away, but none for Richard. I was sure he would understand as he arrived unannounced, but nonetheless I felt sorry for it.

• Well, there are enough presents under the tree. One of them that I thought to give to Ken is a book with recipes. We could give him that. He will likely need it more in the future, unfortunately. I can go and buy another one for Ken at another time.

I loved my man. He always had a solution for everything. I knew he got along well with Richard, but I had no idea they had grown that close that Richard thought of us in his desperate situation. I liked it that they got along that well. Not everything had to be work and professionalism. It was good that friendship was part of their lives and their jobs. It enhanced the communication, and was certainly beneficial for the productivity of our business.

Coffee had been served with the dessert. We reverted to Champagne and sat in the living room. Angela was the first to pick-up a present and gave it to me. Then I had to pick one up and give it to someone else. That person then had to pick one up and give it and so on. When Kevin gave the recipe book to Richard, he whispered something in his ear. Richard stood up, picked a packet and gave it to me. I knew it was coming from Kevin, but my dear good husband had found a way to make Richard participate. The others knew it, too. We all found a way to whisper to Richard's ear and in the end we actually let him distribute the presents. At the end, the living room floor was covered with the papers that had been used for wrapping up the presents. We cleaned up a bit because I was not used to have the house in such a chaos.

It got late and Angela didn't want to go to bed too late. She actually never knew if she was going to have a complete night or not. Sam got up at the same time and it seemed logic as they had arrived in one car, but I was still curious about that nonetheless. Richard got up as well, saying that he should probably leave as well, but he was not really looking convinced. We invited him to stay overnight, but it was going to be a problem as Ken was already using the guest room. Ken is not an idiot and had understood that Richard had a problem and that if we invited him to stay overnight, we most certainly had our reason.

• I can sleep here on the couch, Ken said, you can use the guest room.

He immediately went up to the room to retrieve his things and leave the space available for Richard. While he was doing that, we were sitting down and Richard seemed relieved.

• You guys don't know what it means to me to have spent the evening with you. I was not looking forward on a night on my own! I still can't understand what happened to my wife to make such a drastic move. I thought everything was going fine between us. I tried to call her several times, but her cell phone is disconnected. I don't even have a clue as where she is with the kids.

He looked devastated again. It was obvious that he had a thousand questions running through his head. I saw on Kevin's face that he felt as sorry for Richard as I did, but there was nothing more we could do for him right then. Ken came down again, in his boxer shorts and with a blanket in his arms. It was clear he wanted to lay down and shut his eyes. We went up and showed the guest-room to Richard. He thanked us once again before he shut the door to his room.

Kevin and I went to our own bedroom. We were still concerned about Richard. We just hoped we were doing the right thing. Kevin and I showered together, but not really in the mood for any physical activity. We slipped between the sheets and switched off the lights, drifting off to dreamland in no time.

In the middle of the night we heard a really loud scream that woke us up. Even though we were in a very sleepy state, we realized it came from the room next door. Kevin got up and slipped on some sweatpants and went over to Richard's room. I fell asleep again and woke only when Kevin came back to our bed.

• He had a nightmare and screamed out the names of his kids. He was really shaken and crying again. My God! What a situation!

Kevin slipped again between the sheets after taking off his pants. He pressed his body against mine, spooning me from behind and wrapped his arms over my chest. We fell asleep again and it was the sunshine that peeked through the window that woke us. After a few seconds I realized it was not only the sun that had woken me, but also the smell of coffee. Kevin woke as well and kissed me in the neck first. I knew he was probably ready for some morning activity, but I remembered him we had visitors and more visitors coming later on. Nonetheless, he was horny enough to wake up my hormones and in the shower he made me unload my juice that was soon drained away by the warm water. As we had visitors, we dressed a bit more than usual, because in weekends we often would have slipped on jeans and nothing else. This time we wore underwear, socks and sneakers together with the jeans, plus a T-shirt.

When we reached the kitchen Ken and Richard were already sipping coffee. I instinctively kissed my brother good morning and did the same with Richard although we were not really that familiar. It confused him for a moment, but didn't say anything about it. We had bothered to dress a little, but apparently Ken and Richard hadn't. Richard was sitting there in the tiniest briefs and a T-shirt. I could see his legs were really hairy. He finished his mug of coffee and said he was going to take a shower and dress. Once he left the kitchen Ken looked at us.

• I gave him some legal advice, he said, and offered my services if he needs them. He told me what happened and why he arrived yesterday without being invited.

One part of me was really surprised that Richard had opened up so quickly to Ken. On the other hand I was so proud of Ken for his generous offer. We were still at the kitchen island sipping coffee when Angela and Sam arrived. Once again they arrived together and in only one car. My curiosity was once again piqued at the highest level. While Sam, Ken and Kevin were having more coffee, I took Angela apart.

• Sis, I said, it is just curiosity, but I couldn't help noticing that as well last night as this morning, you and Sam arrived together at the same time and with one car. Is there anything you have to tell me, because I also noticed last night you were looking at each other quite intensely?

• I knew you would notice, Angela said, and we were about to tell you something last night, but as Richard arrived, we thought it was not the right moment. Sam and I discovered a mutual attraction to each other. We try to learn to know each other better, because we both think we could have a future together.

I was flabbergasted. Sam and I were best friends and we even had had sex together. I was convinced he was a hundred percent gay and it was difficult to imagine him otherwise! I was even convinced Angela had seen us interact with each other before his parents died in the same accident ours had. She must have seen the confusion on my face.

• Ram, don't worry please. I believe him when he says that he had indeed sex with you, but only with you. You were best friends and at an age of exploring, but he has never been gay otherwise.

I wanted to believe her, but something in my head was not so sure about the whole thing. I was sure Sam would never hurt Angela. There was no doubt about that, but he had had no problems at all having sex with me. What would happen if his urges called him back to man-to-man sex? How would that affect my sister? I sure wanted to have a serious conversation with him. Ok, ok, Angela was old enough to take her own decisions, but I was still worried as a result of having to care for her, and Ken, when they were still under aged. I was just eighteen when Dad died and nineteen when Mum died. I had taken care of them since then and I was not going to quit that job. I still felt responsible for them.

Angela did a little sign to Sam who came over and sat down. Angela asked him to talk to me.

• Tell him, he knows!

Then she got up and left us alone.

• Ramses, Sam said, I know it comes as a surprise to you, but I fell in love with your sister. You probably think about what we had together. I can assure you I am straight and the only gay thing I had and did was with you. We were very close. You remember? When your Dad and my parents died and I went to live with my aunt, I realized I was attracted to girls. The other boys didn't appeal to me and it has been like that since then. Please, believe me I want the very best for Angela. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt her. You are my best friend and I promise you I'll do everything that is in my power to make her happy.

I believed him and crossed my fingers that my fears were not justified at all. We got up to join the others, but Sam first took me in his arms and gave me a big hug and a kiss, as to prove his point. Later, when I told Kevin about it, he thought that I was worrying far too much.

• They are both adults now! They know what they do, don't they? Sam is a trustworthy friend and I don't think he would lie to you. Angela is a responsible young woman and knows Sam's past. Let them discover what kind of future they have. In the worst of all cases, you'll have to console her if things don't work out properly. Don't worry so much Ramses. Things will be ok!

For New Year's Eve we were invited over at some friends' house. It was a joyful event with good food and nice company. It was an entire gay crowd. We had gone by taxi, as we didn't want to take any risk in case we had one too many glass of Champagne. We did, of course, the countdown at midnight and there was quite a lot of kissing after the twelfth stroke of midnight. We all wished everybody "Happy New Year". Some of the guys got carried away in their kissing and even a few hands disappeared in the waistband of some trousers. Kevin and I had long before discussed it and had decided to be completely monogamous. We were not about to change our opinion about it, even if there were some real hunks in the room. Out of nowhere, bowls with condoms and lubricant had appeared. AIDS was a known fact and even though a lot of gay men were really promiscuous, there was a real fear for catching it. This was going to turn into a big orgy. When we saw what was happening, we bid our host goodbye and left the party.

I received two phone calls. One from Ken who was spending the evening with some friends and from the noise in the background, he was having a good time. The second call was from Angela. She was supposed to have a party with Sam and some other friends, but an emergency call had come in and she had to rush to the hospital. She had expected it, as New Years Eve was unfortunately a night with quite some accidents on the road. Sam had secretly slipped in the hospital to wish her a happy New Year. They called just in between two operations.

On New Year's Day, Richard called. He had finally been able to talk with his wife who had admitted she had found someone else. Richard didn't understand how it had happened but was about to accept, with resignation, that fate had decided for him. He still loved his wife and they arranged to meet to discuss quite a few matters about their separation.

Once Ken woke up, he had a bite to eat and had to hurry to pack his things, as we had to drive him to the airport. He had to go back as his job was calling for him. As usual, we promised to keep in touch. When we were back home, we realized we finally had the house to ourselves again. Kevin went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of Champagne and two glasses. He opened the bottle, served us each a glass and then knelt down in front of me, taking a little box out of his pocket. It was so romantic when he asked me to marry him although it was legally impossible. But the little box contained two golden wedding rings and when I said yes, he skipped one of them on my finger and I did the same with the other one. In the eye of the law we were still two strangers, but in our heart we knew we belonged to each other. After slipping on the rings, we kissed in a romantic and unhurried way, but as always, the contact of our lips had an immediate reaction in our bodies and on our hormones.

We made love as if it was the first time, but without being clumsy like we were the real first time. Kevin was worshipping my body and I returned the favor. It all started in the living room. I was trying to lead him to the bedroom, but his frenetic urge got the best of him and we never reached the first floor. Kevin had me naked and I was a willing partner. He was so busy with me that I didn't even got a chance to undress him, but he took care of that without stopping kissing me, caressing me and making me feel the most special person on the earth. My God! Did he know how to push the right buttons to bring me to climax! He knew how to give me as much pleasure to drive me wild and crazy. Whenever I could I pressed the necessary buttons as well and we pushed each other to the edge various times. We were in that state where we wanted desperately reaching the climax, but avoided it as to make the pleasure last. Our tongues worked so much that they almost hurt. Our shafts were so hard that they actually hurt! It was only when we ejaculated our juice and that they deflated that the pain faded away. But it had been more than worth going to the agonizing mixture of pain and pleasure. The only inconvenience of making love in the living room was that we had to clean the Oriental rug afterwards.

The following day the stores were open. It was not that I doubted about Richard's professionalism, but I went to the store he was responsible for just in case. I was pleasantly surprised to find him at his desk when I arrived. It was impossible to notice he had gone through a rough time since Christmas. He was his usual self and worked even harder than before. It was obvious he wanted the throw himself into work as to try to not think about his private problems. He was so efficient that most of his daily tasks were done even before noon. I tried to tell him to not overdo things, but he looked at me as if he didn't know what I was talking about. Once more, I was glad with the choice we made.

How efficient and professional Richard worked during the day, how miserable he felt once the store was closed. It took him quite some time to get over the whole situation. He had even some sessions with a psychologist to surpass the break up with his wife, although they remained quite good friends seeing the circumstances. Daisy, Richard's wife, was a good mother to her children and that was so important to Richard. The welfare of his children was actually the only thing Richard was looking out for. I guessed that the limited visiting times would convert Richard in a spoiling father. He always wanted to make up for the times they didn't see each other. Daisy never interposed when Richard wanted to take out the kids. All decisions were amicably taken among the two of them. With time, Daisy and Richard would be ex husband and wife but even better friends than before the separation.

Springtime came and went. Summer got to us earlier than other years. The Gods were with us as during the day the sky was of an intense blue and the rain fell during the night. Nature was so beautiful with the colorful plants and flowers everywhere. As always when the weather is so good, all the people had smiles on their faces and no one was ever in a bad mood. Our personnel were working hard, but never lost their smiles. We had a few changes with the personnel. Some of them, who worked in the northern store, lived in the southern part of the city and vice versa. We offered the possibility to switch stores for those who were interested, but only if the balance was kept as it should. A few transfers were done and everybody was even happier.

The main problem Kevin and I had was the fact we wanted our time off together. When Richard wanted time off it was easy as I went to his store while Kevin stayed at the first one, but when we wanted time off, we had only Richard to run both stores and that was quite a lot of work. We couldn't ask for outside help, as our way of working was quite specific and difficult to be done by a temporary help. Wendy, our office manager, was good at what she did and we did a first test at letting her doing the majority of work and call in Richard only when it was really needed. We just took a week off and crossed fingers everything would go well. Kevin and I went up to nearby mountains to do some hiking and relaxing, but I couldn't avoid calling Richard and Wendy every two days. They seemed to get along well and all the work was done without having either of them overwhelmed by extra work. It was a relief for Kevin and me to know we could leave and not having to worry.

We had a life full of satisfactions, small ones and big ones. We were blessed with our family and friends. We had two stores that were running very well and we were healthy. The love Kevin and I shared was precious and I thanked Destiny every day for it.

The year my mother drank herself to death and the few years after that had been hard. We had all worked our way through those hard times and reached Life at Last!

All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com If you like this story, please let me know... your comments are my motivation to write

Other stories of mine : https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/unexpected-events/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/my-boss-my-lover-my-friend/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/our-doctor/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/physiotherapist https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/accident/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/flight-attendant/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/new-life-series/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/virgin-at-forty-two/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/new-found-trust/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/peace-at-last/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/fate-and-more/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/tarot-cards-and-more/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/pure-passion https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/trust/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/new-computer/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/internet-was-new