Special Issue - 6 Interviews

SPECIAL ISSUE - 6 INTERVIEWS by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2007 written on December 17th 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by John

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"SPECIAL ISSUE - 6 INTERVIEWS" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

FIRST

In this special issue of our magazine, we interview six famous people. Many of our readers have asked us for these interviews - they are a gift for New Year.

As is our custom, the interviews will mainly cover the discovery of these people's sexuality - in fact you can find interviews about their work, thoughts, or other aspects of their lives in other magazines, but very seldom are there more than hints about this aspect, which is fundamental to us.

We thank all of them for agreeing to be interviewed by our magazine, and for answering our questions fully and with courtesy.

The editorial staff.

ALLAN ROBERT IRVINGSON Olympic swimming champion - Canada

Q. You are one of the few athletes, these days that had no problem declaring himself Gay. Why is that so, Ari?

A. That is not really right - I don't declare myself gay. I just am so, that's all - I simply don't hide it. It came out two years ago when the magazine "Canada Sport" asked me if Barry, who they always saw at my side, was my secretary. I just answered no, he was my boyfriend. You should have seen their faces (laughs)! Before publishing the text of the interview, they asked for my authorization... I'm proud to be with Barry, so, why hide it? Anyway my friends, my trainer, my sports companions and many others already knew about it... I didn't think that the news, at that time, would raise such a sensation, such a fuss. Well, today almost nobody talks about that to the press. And that seems right to me, if they talk about me as an athlete, I can't see why it matters what my choices are on an affectionate level, or my sexuality.

Q. I completely agree with you. But my question was - how it came about, that in the athletic world, those who don't hide being gay are so few? I think that there are many more than the ones everybody knows about and the mass media talk about, isn't that so?

A. Yes, undoubtedly many more. But the sports world is made of myths, as you know very well. And in our society the myth wants the sportsman be the epitome of virility. And many, too many, still believe that being gay is an insult to their virility.

Q. And how does this happen, in your opinion?

A. (laughs) Because they never tried. No, seriously - there are still too many prejudices. The gay man is effeminate, the gay man snares little boys, the gay man is a person with a promiscuous and disorderly sexuality...

Q. You told me that Barry is the only man in your life, didn't you? Surely one can't talk about you as a promiscuous person, with a disorderly sexuality.

A, Yes, that's right. I discovered my sexuality with him, I fell in love with him, I live with him. I never had other partners, or even one night stands, with either men or women. But perhaps this doesn't sound very interesting to your readers, isn't that true? Fidelity doesn't make news these days (laughs).

Q. You are now twenty six years old. How old were you when you met Barry? How did you meet?

A. I was twenty. I had already been swimming for six years with good results. To celebrate my twentieth birthday, my parents offered me a cruise in the Pacific. I embarked on the "Golden Dolphin", one of those white cruise ships, the classic love boat, filled mainly of couples on their honeymoon or whatever. At first I was a bit lost, I must say. Everyone, or almost everyone, seemed to be in pairs. But the ambience was likeable, and I soon let myself become part of the scene. There were also a couple of girls making advances to me...

Q. You didn't have a girlfriend, right?

A. No, nor a boyfriend either. Let's say that my sexuality was still... dormant. You know, from my boyhood I devoted myself to swimming, all my energy, all my thoughts. The fact that girls never really appealed to me didn't bother me, it didn't give me a problem. I simply had no time for them. Anyway, before meeting Barry, I didn't feel attracted to anyone, not even to boys.

Q. That means that you didn't have any sexual activity until then, in spite of the fact that you were already twenty years old.

A. Well, besides the lonely pleasures... never with anybody. Certainly I was feeling the sexual urge, starting when I was about fourteen. But I appeased it by myself, and without particular erotic fantasies. It was, I can say, just a... mechanical act, and not even very frequent.

Q. And Barry was on the same ship. You met him during that cruise, right?

A. Yes and no. He was on board, that's right. But we didn't meet. Or at least, I didn't notice him. But he did notice me, from a distance. He was, I think, the youngest sailor on board; he was seventeen at that time. He joined the ship for that cruise; it was his first job on a ship. Barry discovered being gay two years before, when a guy touched him at the movies, and, making him aroused, took him to his place and made love with him. For Barry it was a real discovery - he liked it and afterwards he looked for other adventures. He was a nice boy; he didn't have difficulties in finding them. Then right when he was seventeen, he met a twenty-six year old sailor he loved to make love with. The sailor had a crush on Barry, and persuaded him to join him on board and had him hired. It is not that Barry was really in love with the sailor, but being an orphan he lived with his relatives. He didn't like them, he felt tolerated, not loved. On the contrary Martin, his sailor, gave him affection, tenderness, human warmth. So Barry followed him.

Q. And there on board Barry noticed you and hooked you.

A. Yes, he noticed me. No, he didn't try anything with me, because he was with Martin. The story is more complicated. Surely you know that the "Golden Dolphin" was shipwrecked. It was a tragedy, not huge but a tragedy; I heard later that there were eleven dead and five people missing. Martin was one of the eleven, Barry saw him sucked into a giant whirlpool together with the ship. Barry and I were amongst those five missing people.

Q. Yes, the newspapers recounted the shipwreck at the time and later your story also. But not this aspect, it seems to me. What really did happen?

A. When I understood that the ship was being wrecked (it sank in a few minutes) I guessed that if I wanted to survive, I had to dive and swim, getting away from the ship as far as I could. I'm a good swimmer, not afraid of sea. When the ship sank, I was already far away. But Martin and Barry still tried at the last minute to get passengers to safety, as other personnel did and when the ship sank they were sucked down. They were just one meter from each other, and yet Barry surfaced but not Martin. Barry swam around looking for him, but uselessly.

Currents are strong in that part of the ocean, and spread out like a fan. People on the life-boats were safe. They say that the rescue squads were late. I just know that at a certain point I became aware that I was completely alone, isolated, nothing and nobody in sight. And it was also becoming dark.

I remained in water for almost two full days, swimming a little, letting myself float a little to rest. Until I saw an island and swam towards it with the last of my energy. I hoped to be rescued there. I reached the shore exhausted. I dragged myself to the dry ground and fell asleep at once.

Q. And Barry?

A. He reached the island too, but the day after. More dead than alive. He too could swim, of course, but was not as practiced as I was. Anyway he was saved and destiny threw him onto the same island as me. But we only met three days later.

The first rays of the sun woke me up. I was still feeling somewhat weak, but I stood up and started to walk along the shore, confident sooner or later to find a town, a village, the house of a fisherman or a farmer... but I found nothing at all like that. It was a rather small island and evidently uninhabited. To walk right round it took me only a few hours. I was aware that I was back at my starting point when the sun was overhead at noon. I was disappointed, dejected, but I was alive. And, anyway, I thought, they would search for me; they would find me and rescue me. It was just a matter of time. I felt hungry. I decided to explore away from the shore hoping to find something I could eat. During my tour I noticed a stream, so that I could at least count on fresh water. At the beginning I was sure that in a few days they would find me and rescue me. I didn't imagine it was going to be such a long adventure, nor such an important one in my life.

Q. Important you say? In what sense?

A. In several ways. First of all it enabled me to meet my Barry. Then it made me mature quickly, to really become an adult - the fight to survive is the best school for life. And last, I spent long hours swimming - later I won the gold medal at the Olympics, I owe that also to the kind of forced training that lasted for two years...

Q. Right, two years. You would never have guessed that you would be stranded on that island for so long, would you?

A. For sure, not in the early days.

Q. Tell us about your first meeting with Barry.

A. Yes. As I said you, he was brought to the island by the current the day after my arrival. I didn't see him immediately, because when the waves pushed him ashore, I was more or less on the opposite side of the island. He was lifeless and only the safety vest he wore prevented him from drowning. For almost a day he remained where the current had left him without recovering consciousness. Then, the following day, exhausted and hungry, he dragged himself to dry ground. More than hunger; it was thirst that made him feel bad, so he started to explore hoping to find water. It was then that we met - on the island there was just one spring making the small stream. We met on the third day, because we went to drink more or less at the same time. I saw him crouching near the stream and he was drinking from his hands forming a cup. The first thing I recognized was the uniform of the "Golden Dolphin" sailors so I understood at once that he was a survivor like me. I remained still, to look at him for a while, and I felt happy not to be alone. I called him. Well, to be exact, I called 'Hey!' He turned surprised, and recognized me. I told him I'd explored the island and that we were alone on it. He just took note of that. He too thought that they would look for us, and find us soon. He told me he felt hungry. I had tried eating some fruit and didn't have any problems, so I pointed some out to him.

You see, in those conditions you become aware of how much fundamental information you don't know. I knew everything about Napoleon, or about the sports records, about bikes... but absolutely nothing about what could be edible and what was poisonous. And Barry didn't know any more than me. Moreover, many think that to be shipwrecked on an island is more or less to become a Robinson Crusoe. But he had the flotsam and jetsam of his ship, and some tools. We just had the clothes we were wearing, my watch, Barry's lighter and nail clipper, my wallet with some notes and a few coins, Barry's silver bracelet and the thin gold chain round my neck. Oh, and the key to my cabin. Period! It certainly was not the kit of "perfect modern shipwrecked people"! But at first this didn't worry us so much.

We spent the first days carefully exploring the island. I really don't know what we hoped to find. I think it was more a way to spend our time. And we chatted, about a thousand things and about nothing. We decided to find out what kind of vegetables and fruit were good to eat and we carried on doing so - continuing to eat what we already checked was not dangerous, and only one of us tasting a new leaf or fruit. We took turns to divide the risk. If we didn't have any bad consequences, we had one more thing to eat. If either of us was sick, the other helped him to vomit, to drink lot of water, and looked after him. Happily it happened rather seldom- we were really prudent. Then we found the turtle's eggs. Fresh, they were good, but just in the breeding season. Little by little, as we were losing the hope of a quick rescue, we managed to build traps to catch birds and a kind of mouse, or rodent anyway, and to catch some fish. Well, at the end our meals were almost well balanced and varied. And even tasty.

Q. But it was all raw food.

A. No. We had a fire. At first we lit it with Barry's lighter. But then we learned to light it with the prehistoric system of rubbing sticks - it took lot of time and energy, but it worked. Anyway we tried to keep the fire from going out, and we became skilled in keeping lit embers under the ash. So we had barbecued meat, fish, tubers, fresh fruit and vegetables, fresh water. No, after the first two or three months, food was no problem.

Q. And a shelter?

A. The climate was decidedly fine and warm, heavy but infrequent rain, never cold. We built a kind of shelter just about six months after we got there, and it was more a psychological need than a real one. It was to have a reference point, a base. We found a kind of... how to describe it? A kind of small gorge between a rock and the empty trunk of a huge, half dead tree. We made a roof out of branches and straw, and in the internal part we made a kind of bed with a thick layer of dry, dead leaves. During the rain showers, it was a safe, dry place, sheltered from the wind. Anyway it was our "home".

Q. But let's go back to your relationship. How did it happen? Who made the first step, the first move?

A. Barry already knew he was gay, and he liked me, was attracted to me. But he didn't dare to try an approach, if I got mad at him, it could result in a very difficult situation, being secluded in such a small area... therefore, for the first months nothing happened. At times I felt the usual urge, and I used the moments when I was alone to masturbate. He did the same, the one hiding from the other...

Q. But on a so small an island, were you not always together?

A. No. Anyway it was wider than Central Park in New York, and had a rocky hill in its center, what we pompously called "the mountain". When we felt like being alone, well, at times it happened, it's natural, we went away from the sea, or walked along the shore, or took a long swim, especially me. Sometimes together, of course, but at times alone. Then we could withdraw without any problem. I had a special spot, I can't say why, where I liked to lie down and slowly masturbate under the sun's rays, until I calmed my sexual urge down.

It had been during one of my... solitary periods that Barry arrived and was at once aware of what I was doing. I didn't hear him coming, and he stayed there to look at me in silence (he told me that afterwards) and then, silently as he came, he went away. But he came to look at me at other times; he liked to look at me, it excited him... It is not that he was a peeping Tom, but, you see, alone on that island, and he already felt attracted to me...

One day, while he was watching me, I realized he was there. I blushed violently. He smiled shyly and, gathering all his courage, told me: "I do it too; you have nothing to blush about... Why not do it together?" "Together?" I asked, astounded at the idea. "It's more fun..." he said. I meanwhile tidied myself, and answered: "Don't tell me bullshit. Those things are not to be done with someone else." And he said: "Why not, between friends..."

I was bothered by his insistence. Rather brusquely, I said: "Not me, anyway, I'm not a faggot." I didn't say that thinking of him, and neither had I had anything against gay people. I said it just to stop his embarrassing speech. This time he blushed, but he found the courage to tell me: "Well, I'm a faggot. That's why I would have liked doing it with you..." and, turning round, he ran away.

To me it was like a punch in my stomach. As I said, I had nothing against gay people. I can say that I have never personally faced the problem, and anyway, the fact that there are such people, I thought, just concerned them. But now Barry told me he was one, and he wanted to do that with me... In other words, I understood that he didn't want just to amuse himself with me, but that he desired me, and that made me really embarrassed.

When we met again, I was still somewhat tense, embarrassed. He behaved as if nothing happened, and I was grateful to him for that. So, I too behaved the same way. For some days nothing happened and I almost forgot the incident.

But little by little frictions started to arise between us, for trivial, silly things, like what side to sleep, or who had to care for the embers and not to let them die out, or similar things. The tension quietly but constantly increased. Until one day we really quarreled, over a stupid thing. At first we both let our hair and beards grow, having nothing to cut or shave them with. Then I thought to sharpen my cabin key with a stone, to make a blade to use for that purpose. It worked, so we could start to shave and to cut our hair short, even if rather roughly. Of course we both used the key. At times it needed to be sharpened again. It was a long and boring job, so we decided that it was to be done each time after we used it. Once, when it was my turn, I thought I would sharpen it later, as I felt lazy just then. When he noticed that, he said, possibly in too sharp a tone, that he was not my slave that I had to carry out my part of job. Very childishly, I answered that the key was mine. He countered that the key was not mine, but the ships, therefore belonged to both of us... in short, we quarreled like two primary schoolboys.

So Barry left our "house" shouting at me that I could keep everything, and go to hell. I yelled at his back that it was better being alone than with a faggot. I almost at once bit my tongue, but the damage was done! I thought I would let some time elapse, then to go to look for him and to apologize. I should not have said that, there was absolutely no reason to. The fact is that in that moment I wanted to hurt him. And I think I got what I wanted.

I was in our den in the hollow tree and was angrily sharpening the key, when suddenly the sky darkened and a furious wind started to blow. I thought it was one of the usual Noah's Flood heavy showers lasting no more than a couple of hours, and I took shelter more deeply inside the "house" thinking, somewhat sadistically, that the heavy rain would calm down Barry's temper and that he would come back more peaceful.

But that time it was a real typhoon. The wind increased in intensity and was howling furiously like I'd never heard before. The roof flew away with a sharp crash, like it was a wisp of straw. I was really quite frightened. We got used to it later, but this was the first time it happened, after we were on the island for about five months.

It became almost dark, the wind became more and more violent, and all around everything was wailing, it seemed like the yelling of wounded wild animals. And then I asked myself why Barry was not yet back. So I decided to go out to look for him. It was almost impossible to stand up, to resist the strength of the wind. Calling him... was impossible, useless - my voice blown away at once and I was almost unable to hear it myself. Creeping along the ground to offer less of myself to the wind, I started to look for him. I was asking myself where he could have gone. Possibly to the mountain, where we often went to sit, looking at the boundless horizon, in the hope, even if more and more faint, of seeing a ship passing. We also prepared a beacon up there in case that happened. I climbed. It was more and more difficult to move. I was now really scared, but I wanted to find him, I had to find him at any cost. Because I now felt responsible, if something happened to him...

I saw him quite suddenly. He was crouching between three branches of a big bush, making like a fork, a triangle, and was clinging to them with his arms and legs. I reached him. "Are you okay?" I shouted to him clinging to the same branches and sheltering him with my body. Barry was pale: "Yes..." he moaned. "Nothing will happen, Barry... Let's just wait until it stops..." I shouted at his ear, trying to reassure him. I could feel him trembling violently under my body. I felt the wind trying to tear my grip away, but now Barry felt safer, anchored by my weight. I saw his face, little by little, resume his normal color. At times the branches twirling in the wind violently hit my back, but I ignored it. Pelts of water strong like lashes hit me mercilessly and without a break. We remained there for hours. But then the wind started to slowly decrease its strength - the typhoon was going away. Then, little by little, I relaxed and, I don't know how, we found ourselves in a tight embrace, panting, but grateful to be still alive.

He then said: "If you hadn't come... I felt I was near giving in, the wind would have taken me away. You saved me, Allan, coming to look for me." and I said, full of remorse: "I wanted to ask you to forgive me for what I said you, Barry... I really need you to forgive me..." He then gave me a light kiss on my cheek, faintly smiled, and said: "I love you, Allan, and I would like to be able to show it to you." I understood what he wanted to say, also because I was feeling, not only his warmth against my body, but also his arousal. But I was not yet ready for that. To me it seemed something impossible. So I told him, but this time with sweetness, also giving him a caress on his face: "I'm sorry, Barry, but I can't. Really..."

He smiled again and nodded. Now the wind was normal, the rain still strong but warm. We parted, stood up. I extended my hand: "Let's go back home." I said. "Yes, sure..." he answered.

A serene period started. It was like if all the tension of the past days had been swept away by the typhoon. He told me clearly that he desired me, I gently answered him I couldn't answer to his desire, and now we accepted each other so, just as we were. Now we really could be friends.

We build the roof again, lit the fire, and resumed our normal life.

We also accepted the fact that, even if one day somebody found us, it could be we had to spend years, even our entire lives, in that island. Our clothes were wearing out; they would have lasted only a short while longer. So we decided, as after all we didn't really need them, to take them off and to put them in the most sheltered place in our home. At least we could preserve them and then we would be able to wear them the day somebody came to rescue us. The first days we wore just our underpants, because of a residual modesty. But then, as we always swam nude, washed naked, we gave up that last scrap of social convention too. We had been on the island for eight months.

At the beginning of our naked life, I was aware of Barry's glances and was slightly embarrassed, but I soon learned not to care and rather, little by little I felt almost pleased by them. It was evident he admired my shape - and who doesn't like being admired?

Q. Didn't he try any approach, in that period?

A. No, absolutely not. We felt good, together. As I said, I accepted as natural his desire for me, and he accepted as natural my 'no'. Anyway, his body was also agreeable to see. We both were assuming a splendid natural tan, and swimming, running up an down the island, climbing the trees, gave us a wonderful, enviable shape, and little by little I became aware that it was a pleasure looking at him.

Q. So, then, how did it... happen?

A. Of course, there was a precise moment, the first time we made love, I mean. But it was not something sudden, it was not Saint Paul's conversion on the Damascus Road. It was rather the result of a long journey, at least for me.

Q. A long journey, you say. The first leg was your nakedness, I presume. And the others?

A. The first leg was the typhoon, really. The warmth of his body under mine, the protective feeling, his arousal, his request, my no, spoken gently... this was the first leg, then our nakedness, of course. That also had its weight, and in consequence the pleasure of being admired and to admire him. But I still was far from the landing-place. The simplicity and intimacy grew in our relationship. I happened to catch him masturbating, and thought that it was anything but a vulgar sight, on the contrary, he was beautiful. He was languidly lying down, his eyes closed, a sweet and light smile on his lips, and he was caressing his chest while giving himself pleasure... Yes, Barry was really beautiful in that moment.

Q. Did you get aroused? Did he see you?

A. Not that time - mine was still an aesthetic admiration, in a certain way. And he was not aware I was looking at him. After he reached his pleasure, he glided into a sweet and light sleep, without opening his eyes, so I silently stole away. But then, possibly the day or a couple of days after, I felt like masturbating, this time I had in my mind his gentle image as I remembered that day.

Q. And then you felt desire for him as well.

A. No, not yet. I had still to take some more steps... One step more was when I told myself that possibly we would have to remain on that island forever. We'd been there for ten months and still we hadn't seen a single ship, a shell, a craft, a pirogue, what can I say... nothing. And then? What would it mean to live there for years and years, together with Barry (who desired me), who had become the only thing to give some meaning to my life... What sense would it make for me to continue denying him something? That particular something?

Q. Therefore you made up your mind...

A. No, these are not things you decide coldly, at a table. These were still thoughts, but up to then they didnt correspond with choices. But they surfaced, in time. No, another step came when I told Barry that we could possibly die on this island...

Evidently he didn't like the idea of that. He looked at me with wide eyes, as if he was scared suddenly. And burst in tears, a desperate and bitter crying. He sobbed, his body was violently shaken by his sobs. On impulse (it was me that made him feel so bad, you see?) I embraced him. He clung to me, held me tight. I cuddled him, trying to console him, caressed his hair, held him tight in my arms... and in that moment something happened inside me. Like a dam that breaks, no, not one that crumbles, but a dam where a crack opens, at first a small one and a little of water flows out, then more and more, then a swift stream, a river, a sea comes out.

I'll try to explain it better. I was caressing him, I could feel his body, warm, tender, against mine. I kissed him on his forehead (still as a brother), I caressed him with tenderness, he moved his face slightly, not on purpose, I'm sure. Our lips brushed. I kissed him on his lips, caressed his body. I can't say when these caresses took on a different meaning, when our physical contact became sensual. I just know that at a certain point our kissing was intimate, not just friendly, that his body reacted (or was it mine before his?), that pleasure wrapped us... and my hands (or his before mine?) were giving more and more erotic caresses. And finally, for the first time, we made love.

It was not even really making love. It was more giving him pleasure, and accepting that he gave it to me. We really just kissed and caressed each other and then mutually masturbated. But I did it. And what is more important, afterwards I didn't have any sadness, no shame, nor remorse - it happened and had been beautiful, we both needed that. Later, I became aware that he was looking at me with some apprehension. So I reassured him with a smile and a light caress, continuing to hold him between my arms, and slightly tightening my hold. The relaxed, serene, sweet expression of his face told me that he understood my message - he needn't fear recriminations.

We didn't say a word, we didn't need to.

The same evening, when we lay down to sleep, he asked me with a shy voice, if he could stay near me. We normally slept near, but well separated. I told him yes, he curled against me and we fell asleep half embraced. I thought that it was a fine way to fall asleep, I liked it, and it made me feel less lonely.

We slept in that way the following nights too, and inevitably we made love, like the first time. Or rather, our way to make love changed little by little, it became more self-assured, more spontaneous. He felt that, and slowly and gently involved me (and I was glad to be involved) in a relationship more and more intimate and complete. In short, to tell it without metaphor, at first we gave each other pleasure just kissing, caressing and masturbating, but then he helped me discover and appreciate oral pleasure, and at last we reached, quietly and without problems, a complete union. Simply and spontaneously, I want to underline that. Certainly, with him being more experienced than me, he led the way in my discovery of physical intercourse, because he could feel I was now ready to follow him, he was aware I desired it at least as much as he did.

Told in this way, it must seem that this all happened from one day to the next, but on the contrary, it was a gradual evolution that happened over about three months.

It was a very sweet and beautiful period. I can say that both of us were very happy.

Q. So, when you reached a complete union, you were on that island for more than one year.

A. Yes, that's right.

Q. But how did you spend your days?

A. Doing lot of physical exercise, gathering food and cooking it. And making love, of course. And not just during the night as it may seem from what I told you. Well, the first times were mainly during the night, but then we discovered that it was nicer doing it in the daytime, under the sun... And then, we decided to furnish our island.

Q. To furnish? What do you mean? You had nothing...

A. On the contrary, we had lot of things - stones, shells, plants, branches and lot of time and fantasy. We decided to trace paths, to make flowerbeds (vegetable and flower gardens separated, of course), stairs, fences... If we had to spend all our life there, we wanted that to become our... how to say it... an earthly paradise. Ah, and then we organized parties - for instance we celebrated our eighteen and twenty first birthday, we could have been wrong by some days, I don't know, but... We didn't have the cake and the candles, but... we gave each other the presents.

Q. Presents? How?

A. I gave him a very beautiful shell I found on the beach and that I hid just for that occasion. He still has it. He plaited straw into a necklace, two bracelets and two more for my ankles... I still keep those five pieces jealously.

Q. You were in love, in short.

A. No. That is, at that time I didn't ask myself if I was or not. I became aware I was in love with him a lot later. About him... he was happy with me, but I think that, like me, he didn't have that awareness. With hindsight, we were in love, but in a not conscious way, I think. We were not aware of being in love.

Q. Would you please tell us how they found you, at last, after those two years, when everybody considered you both dead in the shipwreck?

A. It was all due to the snakes.

Q. Due to the snakes? What do you mean?

A. The newspaper wrote that we were sighted thanks to our smoke signals. But the story is rather different. We didn't even see that French Navy ship passing in sight of our island, therefore we didn't signal at all. Even the beacon on the top of our "mountain" didn't exist any more.

Q. You had resigned yourself, in other words. So, how did it happen?

A. We discovered that in a hole in a rock on our mountain there was a snake nest. Very likely the poor animals were not even poisonous, but you know how it is, the ancient inherent wariness towards snakes... So we decided to get rid of them. Therefore we surrounded the rock with all the dry branches we accumulated while "furnishing" our island to tidy it up, and set it on fire. Evidently not all the branches were really dry, so, together with a good fire, a thick column of smoke rose. Laughing, our eyes filled with tears, half smoked, we moved against the wind. We climbed, to enjoy the scene of that ring of fire and smoke, on the top of our mountain that was close by. We were there for probably ten minutes, when suddenly we heard a sharp bang, like of a gun. Astounded, we turned to look and then we saw the ship - a smoke flare that the wind was already dispersing made us understand that they fired a signaling rocket. And the ship was clearly veering round towards us. For a moment we remained still, almost unbelieving to our eyes, like statues. Then we embraced, laughing, crying, kissing each other, yelling, dancing... We ran down to our "house" - the time had come to give up our nakedness and to dress again (with our worn out clothes) for our guests of honor. We went back to see, almost afraid the ship could have changed its route, but it was still there, rather, nearer. We jumped and waved our arms - they had to be looking at the island with binoculars, because at once they fired another rocket. The ship stopped, lowered a motor boat that came towards us. So we ran to the beach. We were saved!

The island was supposed to be deserted; therefore the column of smoke aroused the commander's suspicion, luckily for us, and thanks to the snakes. So he gave the order to fire that first rocket to signal their arrival to whoever could be on the island. And then they saw us waving our arms...

We were taken on board, we explained who we were. The commander asked for instructions from headquarters. They ordered him to take us to Tahiti harbor. The news of our rescue reached the media, and was made public. In Tahiti the Canadian Consul had a plane ready for us. I don't know how many times we had to repeat our story. We had to have a thorough medical check and they found us in perfect shape and health. And finally the plane took us to Canada.

At Ottawa airport, my whole family was there, and a big crowd. But for Barry... not one of his family came to welcome him, just some officials of the Shipping Company of the "Golden Dolphin".

During the long journey back home, Barry and I promised each other that we would stay in contact.

Q. Do you mean that you didn't decide to remain together?"

A. That's right. We were going back to our normal lives, as before. I to my family and to my sport; he to his old job as a sailor. My family lived in Montreal; his company had its headquarters in Vancouver. We, of course wanted to remain in contact, but... after all, we thought we were just friends, very close friends, of course, but just friends.

We wrote to each other. His shipping company paid him the two years of salary arrears and he felt like a rich man. I started to swim again and to attend the university. As a swimmer I was much stronger than before, thanks to those two years of intense training (even if not programmed, as I was resigned to die in that island). For the first months there were interviews, parties, I was really busy, almost dazed.

But soon I started to feel two things. The first was that Barry was unhappy. He didn't love his relatives as they didn't love him. About his work, he neither liked nor disliked it, but he felt lonely. The second thing is that I became aware I missed him. Moreover, I realized one more thing - I didn't feel attracted by girls. I was courted; a little as I was a hero because of the shipwreck and the rescue, a little because I was becoming a well-known athlete, and I also tried it with some girls. Before, never having had sex, I didn't feel the need, but now it was different. I was feeling strong desire for a physical union, but I didn't really enjoy it. My body was aroused, I could carry out my male role, but I became aware that I couldn't feel the joy and pleasure that I knew with Barry. The strong attraction I felt for him, not only physically, but also for his personality, psychology, mentality... not one of those girls fulfilled, interested, or attracted me.

Q. Didn't you think to try it with some boys?

A. Yes, some boys courted me as well. They made me understand they would like to have sex with me, but with them the comparison with Barry ended always with Barry's victory. So, I stopped any sexual activity.

One year, more or less, had elapsed since we arrived back in Canada. We wrote regularly and at times we also phoned each other. We sent each other presents for Christmas and for our birthday (I sent him a watch, and he to me this silver bracelet) but we never met.

I felt I wanted to see him, to meet him, to talk with him in person. I felt he needed me, but that I also had an increasing need for him. So, I decided to go and meet him.

The joy with which he welcomed me at the airport gave me an immense pleasure - his smile was much more beautiful, bright, sweeter than I remembered. Also physically he was more beautiful, possibly because he was now twenty years old, he was more mature, more a man. He took me to his mini-flat. As soon as we entered we were in each other's arms. We embraced tightly, we kissed with abandon.

"God, how much I missed you!" he said when we breathed again. "You are more beautiful than ever." I said, "God knows to how many people you made lose their head!". Then he confessed me that he hadn't turned down every opportunity for sex, but nobody was me... And that therefore also stopped having any sex. I told him that it was the same for me - I flirted with many girls, and with some boys too, but I didn't want (I really couldn't) stay with any of them, as not one of them seemed able to give me all that he gave me for so many months in our island.

And at last, I came out with the three magic words: "I love you!"

It could seem strange to you, but until that moment I did not even think these three words. But there, with him in my arms, they come to my lips spontaneously, and while I was saying them, I felt happy. He started to cry, silently, sweetly, and said: "Yes, I too love you. I have known it for several months." "Why didn't you write and tell me?" I asked in a tone of gentle reproach. "Because it seemed impossible to me that you too could love me..." he answered in a murmur.

So, at last, we had met, in perfect harmony. That love that had had two years of gestation on the island, and one year of hatching in Canada, at last had bloomed. I remained with him for one week (he took his vacation to be with me) and we spent splendid days, making love (this time really love) and carousing in the city's clubs.

We parted, but this time with the promise to meet again soon, he at my place, or I at his. I asked him for his photo (I didn't yet have one) and went back home. A little later there were the Olympics where I won my gold medal. But then I missed him terribly. So, I decided to do what was smoldering in my heart for some time - I accepted a job that I was offered in Ottawa as a sports consultant for the national TV. I told my parents that I was moving there, found a small apartment for a reasonable price, then phoned to Barry "I'm coming to bring you here. I want to live with you."

Q. You decided for him...

A. Yes. I was sure he would be happy. In fact, on the telephone, I heard like a yell of joy, then he said me: "What time are you coming?" Not what day, you see... I took the first plane. He was waiting for me at the airport. He told me that he resigned from his job, he canceled his apartment lease, electricity, gas, and telephone, all in the time it took me to go to the airport and to fly to him. He told me: "Just help me to pack my things, and I'm ready to come." He almost danced with happiness. We went back to Ottawa. Straightaway he wanted to look for a job, but I told him to wait for ten days. "Why ten days?" he asked me, curious. "Because I booked a trip, you and I by ourselves," I told him...

Q. Where did you go?

A. Well, when we were on the island, he told me that his dream had always been to be able, one day, to go to Florence to see Michelangelo's David, which he liked very much indeed. So I booked a journey in Italy with three stops - Rome, Florence and Venice. But I told him nothing. We prepared our luggage again and I took him to the airport. Just as we boarded he understood our destination.

They were ten days of dreams. And of love. The weather was fine too and everything smiled on us.

Q. A honeymoon, in short.

A. Yes, one of many. Any journey with him really is one. Well, back to Ottawa, he started to look for a job. It seemed he could not find one. I was surprised - I didn't think it could be so difficult to find a job. Today it is difficult, but not in those days. And then he explained to me: "I could have found more than one, but I want a job allowing me to go with you when you have to be away for tour competitions, but it is not so easy. I don't like to be parted from you so often and for so long. Don't forget we had to spend all our life together, on the island. I don't want to come to regret that we were rescued..." So I had an idea. I went to see my trainer and explained to him about Barry and...

Q. You mean you told him he is your lover?

A. Right. And I told him what our problem was, so I asked him to find Barry a job with the Canadian Swimming National Team. At first he said that it was our problem, not his, and that he would be for it if he had to give a job to any boyfriend or girlfriend of his athletes. So I told him that he was quite right, I could understand him, and therefore I would stop being a member of the National Team. He asked me if I was joking, I told him no. "We can't afford to lose you." he protested. "Well, then find a job for Barry." I retorted. "This is blackmail" he said. "No, just a condition." I said. So he said me: "Good, let me meet Barry and I'll see if I can do something with him." "You know him, he is the boy always comes to wait for me after the training." "I saw him, yes, but always on his bike and with his helmet on his head. I can't give a job to someone I don't know, I don't buy something without checking it first. And anyway I have to check what he is able to do, and if I really can get him a job."

So I arranged for them to meet. They talked for a long while. They made me wait outside, I don't know why. At the end the trainer came out and said: "All right. Barry will look after all the logistic problems and also care for your uniforms. From tomorrow."

Q. But how did your trainer react when you told him you are gay?

A. Somewhat surprised, but he didn't make comments or protests. What interests him is to have the best athletes and, as long as we do nothing against the law, or that could harm our level of athletic performance, he doesn't put his nose in our private lives.

Q. And what is the relation between Barry and your trainer and team mates?

A. Normal. They consider him one of the staff, and at the same time my partner. Just one of my mates once made a rude remark, but all the other team-mates told him he was out of line. And later he came to apologize both to Barry and me. No, there are no problems.

Q. When your being gay became of public knowledge, how did your family react?

A. In a fine way. That is, no, at first they were really pained, but mostly because they got to know about it from the newspapers and not directly from me. Well, a little also because they didn't suspect they had a gay son, and they were not ready to accept it so easily. But after the first short period of tension, and mainly of embarrassment on their side, little by little they became convinced that because I'm really happy and this is thanks to Barry's love, things could be just as good this way. They met Barry, who really conquered them, and nowadays they consider him one of the family.

Q. All considered, you have been lucky.

A. Decidedly yes.

Q. Now you are on top of your career. What projects do you have for your future?

A. What projects do we have? Well, shortly I will retire. We have saved up a tidy sum, Barry and I. When we leave the National team, we intend to open a travel agency. With two specialist areas - travel connected with sports activities (championships, Olympic Games, and so forth) more for the athletes than for the supporters, and cruises on the Pacific.

Q. Your island has something to do with that?

A. Yes, albeit indirectly. We don't want it to become a tourist center. We would like it to remain as it is. But we would like to go back there, at times, Barry and I, alone. Let's say to celebrate a certain anniversary... We are negotiating to see if we can buy it. I don't yet know if it will really be possible, but it is our dream. If it becomes ours, nobody can exploit it for tourism and so change its face.

Q. Is it not a pity that other couples can't enjoy it, of course respecting its natural aspect?

A. But that isn't excluded. But just couples ready to live there as we did, naked, eating only what nature offers, without tools, radio, nothing. Not for two years, of course (laughs), but even just one week, or one month, as long as they feel they can live so... And without changing anything.

Q. Just gay couples, or straight couples also?

A. We have no prejudices, it's enough they are in love.

Q. It is a nice dream. I wish you success. Do you want to say something else to our readers?

A. No, thank you. Or, better... that I thank them for their patience to have read this interview to this point... And if some of the readers want to make available some money as a loan at favorable interest to help us to buy our island, we'll be really grateful and happy. Can they contact us through your magazine eventually?

Q. Yes, certainly. And you can promise them that they will be early guests of your island...

A. Of course, but only if they will go there with the person they love, and just one couple at a time. We don't allow the slightest exception... (laughs)

Q. Good, Allan, thank you very much for your interesting story, or rather, your fascinating story. And thanks also to Barry who agreed that you could speak openly about him, and your intimate story, so making this interview and it's publication possible.

CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 2

In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com