Legal Disclaimer and Authors Note: First off, this is fiction, nothing is meant or implied about the sexuality, persuasions, etc. of any or all of the members of Boyzone. This is I repeat an entirely fictional work. Hey we can all dream. If any of the members of Boyzone, should happen to read this, Hey I am not trying to be insulting or anything at all. If you have comments, ideas suggestions etc. write to me. Hey you never know. The same goes for all of you loyal and caring readers feel free to write me at Denn0113@yahoo.com
First off I would like to state if your unable to handle male/male sexuality, romance, etc. don't read on. If your underage or it's not legal for you to read this where you are don't read on. If the subject of abuse in any form is not something you can handle I advise you not to read on. Please note that I am not being funny here.
Now for the note part: Abuse is a very sad and serious topic of discussion. I am dealing with it here in a very simple and straightforward manner. This is a topic that has a lot of meaning for me. I myself am a survivor of abuse. I will not go into the details. I am not writing this for pity or sympathy. I am trying to explain part of how my perspective comes into play. I dealt with being abused for over 15 years. I was abused as a child up to and through my teens. As a child I faced all forms of abuse including sexual abuse. First off rape and sexual abuse are not about sex. They are about power and control. The abuser/rapist gets off on the fact that they are in control and able to hold power over you. I have a area of discussion about this particular topic on my website. If you are going to write me and take an attitude about how I tackle this topic, guess what I am going to respond in kind. If you can't be civil than don't bother to write me. If you go beyond rude and are insulting and/or flaming in your comments I will be sending a copy of the e-mail to both your e-mail/isp provider along with a complaint to them as well as doing the same to the e-mail provider I use. I won't respond at all except to tell you that you have been reported for harassment. This is a precautionary warning and statement. I haven't as of yet had someone do so, but fore-warned is fair to you and me both. That said, read on if your legally able to do so and enjoy.
The Sounds of Silence
`Hello Darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, left it's seeds while I was sleeping. but the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sounds of silence' from "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
Prologue
Early December in a small rowhome in south philly. "What the hell do you mean your leaving me?" a voice roared out. "Exactly that Ed," a gentle woman's voice responded. "I can't take it anymore. I can't take the constant abuse, and I don't want to expose Johny to it. For all I know you will probably start beating him up next."
"Come on Laura, you know I never mean to hit you. It's just the alcohol. I can't help it. I always make it up to you." he responded. "Look, I promise you I will get help if you'll just stay with me."
Shaking her head, as she finished packing, she responded. "No Ed. I am leaving you have said that before and never followed through on it. I'm sorry, but I don't want to end up dead one of these times." with that said she snapped the suitcase closed and quickly left. As she hurried out to the waiting car of a friend that she miraculously still had she worried about what was going to happen once Ed got drunk as he surely would....
Chapter One
As Danny, was preparing to head home from the center, he heard his boss call out for him. "Yo Danny, can you spare me a few?" he asked in a tone that was more command than request.
Great' he thought to himself, what the hell is it now.' "All right," he yelled back from across the youth center.
As he slowly walked across he tried to guess what it was about now. Ryan's expression was not very readable, which was either a very good thing or a very bad thing. "Come in Danny, and sit down." he said when I got there. "I have something that I need to talk to you about." he finished ominously, as he closed the door.
"All right, what's up?" he asked Ryan after he sat down in the chair and prepared himself for the worst.
"Well, your one of the best mentor's/BigBrother's we have." Ryan began, "So I have to tell you this and it's not the best of news. I know that you just got back from pulling yourself together after what happened the last time. I have a kid, that no one else is really willing or up for taking on." he finished.
"All right," Danny responded. "Go on, I am listening."
"He's not a bad kid, but he's had a lot of problems. He was in a situation where he had to see his mother beaten physically a fair bit. He's also got some health problems."
"Oh jeez," Danny replied. "How bad of a shape is he in? and What exactly is his medical problems?"
"He's not in good shape emotionally, mentally he's very withdrawn and solitary. As far as his health. It's pretty bad. We are going to be working with CMN, on this one." he finished with a sadness in his voice that was serious.
"How bad is it? I am assuming since Children's Miracle Network is involved it's a terminal condition?" Danny asked seriously, hiding his feelings underneath a mask of calm and quiet.
"It's end stage cancer. Even if he had been caught early on, which he wasn't. It wouldn't have made a difference. It's one of the rarer forms that attack the blood and lymph systems." Ryan said, with a softness in his voice. "I hate to ask it of you Danny, but could you handle taking him on?"
"Sure," Danny responded. "I can do it. I know about the abuse part, even if it's just seeing it, it's hard enough and for the rest of it...." he broke off with a sad sigh.
"All right then, if your sure Danny, I will give his mother a call and set it up for a meeting tomorrow then." Ryan said.
Chapter Two
The next day (a Tuesday), around four in the after noon, found Danny walking up to the front door to meet Ms. Roka and James. Knocking at the door he took a quick breath.
"Who is it?" a soft voice asked as an eye peered out the peephole. "Hi Miss Roka, I am Danny Broderik, from the Big Brothers Association. I am supposed to meet up with you and James so that we can see if everything is good to go?" Danny responded . "Just one second" she responded. Opening the door, she invited me in.
I suppose I should tell you a little about me and who I look like quick. All right. I am 6'1, about 170 pounds, in fair, but not perfect shape. I work out a bit. I have reddish hair and brown eyes. I am 24, and I am also gay. I am not out of the closet as that would cause a lot of problems with the volunteer work I do for the Big Brothers of Philadelphia. I am a work at home professional, and a fairly skilled novelist which takes up most of my spare time.
As I walked in I was impressed by the warm and loving ambiance that she had managed to create in this small apartment.
I was also startled to see how beautiful she was and the grace with which she moved. She could easily have been a dancer or a ballerina I suspected. She stood about 5'6, and was as thin as most models. But there was an aura of fear and caution about her as well. As she led me into the living room, I was in for my second suprise. Sitting there was a teen of maybe 14 or 15. He was a living dream, but I could see a haunted look in his eyes. I thought silently to myself, `Oh Goddess, please grant me the grace, skill and ability to help this poor child.'
I continued to watch his body-language, as his mother introduced us, snapping back to myself as she said, James, this is Mr. Broderik. As James stood up I stuck out my hand and told him to "Feel free to call me Danny if you prefer."
"Hi it's nice to meet you Danny," he responded a little hesitantly. "and just call me Jimmy, Only my mom calls me James, and that usually when I am in trouble" he said with a grin.
I was happy to see that he was warming up to me a little. `Here's hoping' I thought to myself. I sat down as Ms. Roka, was encouraging me to do. For the next hour or so, we talked about all manner of things and I got a good feel for both of them. As I started to stretch my legs prior to getting up, I said "Well I have had a wonderful time talking to both of you. I was glad to get to meet you both. If your Mom's agreeable Jimmy, we can set up a time for us to meet up and I can leave you both my number if you ever need to talk to me." I said, with a gentle smile.
"Mr. Broderik," she began. "Please call me Danny" I interrupted her gently.
"Very well, Danny," she said, a little hesitant on the last part. "I think that this will work out great. I can tell that Jimmy has really taken to you and I have as well." she ended.
"Great then, if you like I will leave both my home number as well as my cell phone number. If either of you needs, me at all, or for any reason just call me. I don't have all that much going on in my life at the moment and I work at home so I am usually easy to track down." I finished with a smile.
"Really?" Laura asked me curiously. "What exactly do you do?"
Blushing a little I replied "I am actually a writer, I don't write under my own name, but under a nom-de-plure" I answered. "It's a good business once you get a few novels sold, but getting there is the challenge."
"Really? what pen name do you use?" she asked very curious as to why I was blushing. "I actually use several, the most common one I use is `R. J. Roquelarre'" I said blushing more than before, for under that name I had penned many a romance novel.
"OH My Goodness," she exclaimed. "I have read several of your books. They are all so very realistic and special"
"Thanks," I responded. "But if you will pardon me, I have to run. I have been out a little longer than I had planned on originally. If I don't get back home soon, I may not have much to return to." I said with a chuckle and a wink. "I have two very loving and beautiful dalmations." I explained.
"Go, go then" Laura said, as I finished getting up. " I would love to have you stay, but I expect that the pups of yours are anxious to see you. Maybe sometime you could introduce Jimmy to them."
"Of course" I said. "Perhaps later next week if things go well, I can have you two over to meet my babies, and also to have dinner." I finished. "It's been a while, but I do love to have folks over to visit. My cooking is one of my best kept secrets.'
Chapter Three
Later that evening, roughly around eight PM.
I was sitting down at the desk, pondering how was I going to arrange for our heroine to be rescued. I heard the phone ring. Getting up I walked over to answer it. "Hello" I said.
"Hello Love" a soft and silky voice responded. "It's been a long time now hasn't it since we last got the chance to talk?"
"What do YOU want?" I responded in a icy voice. "As if I couldn't guess at what it most likely is this time around again."
"Why sweet Danny boy, you wound me. I just wanted to see how you were doing. After all, like I said it's been a long time" Trevor went on.
"Get to the point Trevor." I responded angrily now. "I am not in the mood for the bs and games. IF there's no point then just go and pester someone else, I have work to do and I am not in the mood to play games."
"Well love, that's exactly what I am calling you about..."
Chapter Four
That evening at the Roka apartment (this section is told from the perspective of Jimmy's mom
As Jimmy was sitting at the kitchen table finishing off the last of his homework, his mom was bustling about the kitchen cleaning. You could tell that her mind was elsewhere from the distracted look upon her face.
"Jimmy," she began "I need to talk to you for a little bit about a few things. I have noticed that your a little out of it the last few days."
"Mom, it's nothing, really I am just a little worn out. A lot of homework and just some side effects from the treatment." Jimmy finished on a odd note, with a sigh.
"Oh Jimmy" she responded pulling him to her. "I don't know what you ever did to deserve this, I pray to god every day and night for him to take this away. You have suffered enough in this life already."
"Mom" he responded softly, "I am fine, it's just a small thing. I am fine really."
"I just wish I could do something to change all this and make things different. Well it's getting late and you need to head to bed young man, so clean yourself up, brush your teeth and say your prayers." she finished. The unshed tears glimmering in her eyes.
Chapter Five
late at night, roughly 11:30 p.m. (Told from Jimmy's perspective)
Additional note, if you can't handle reading about abuse skip over this section and read on from the next chapter.
As Jimmy lay in bed sleeping the same nightmare that had been haunting him of late, repeated itself over and over again.
Dream begins
It was a very quiet night, and all the lights were turned off but you could see because of the moonlight. He had heard his parents fighting earlier that night and had buried his head under the pillow. His only thought being why did it have to happen over and over again. Now several hours later he was awakened by an odd creaking of the floor. What could it be he thought to himself and buried himself deep in the covers as it was a cold winter night. He heard his bedroom door softly creak open and listened as someone stood there softly breathing just staring at him.
Slowly but steadily the figure made it's way over to his bed. Sitting down beside him the figure spoke in a whisper. "Jim, Jimmy-boy are you awake?" Laying there he could smell the alcohol on the breath of his dad and he pretended to be asleep and prayed that he would go away. "Come on son, wake up. I need to talk to you for a little bit." his father went on. "Dad?" he responded hesitantly as if he had just woken up. "What's up, it's late isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is Jimmy, but I need to talk to you for a little bit first. Think you can pay attention?" his father asked him. "I guess so, he said trying to focus on what was going on.
"Your mom and I, well we sorta had a fight, so I need to sleep with you for the night. It's just a temporary thing, all right?" Dad asked.
"Sure I guess so, but won't it be a little tight in here?" I asked unsure of what was going on, but having a bad feeling.
"Not at all Jimmy, plenty of room for the two of us." his Dad replied with a wink. Leaning down he gave me a kiss on the top of my head. Slowly he took off his shirt and then his T-shirt. His shoes, socks and pants soon followed suit as well. As he slipped into the bed my feelings of something being wrong grew more and more. Still he was my dad, so I had to be mistaken right?
As he slowly positioned himself, he pulled me close to him, and leaned in to give me another, I thought, fatherly kiss. But there was nothing fatherly about it as he kissed me on the mouth and groped up my young body.
As the kiss went on, his touching grew bolder and I began to feel ill....
Dream ends
Screaming, I woke up from the nightmare and stopped myself as soon as I realized that I would wake my mom up if she heard me. Slowly I caught my breath and calmed down. 'It was over now, it was just a bad dream.' he thought to himself. 'Why the hell can't I just not have these dreams? Why am I being tortured like this?'
Authors Note
That's all she wrote folks, for now. I do apologize for some of the more detailed content here. It's not likely to go away. But the next part will introduce our Boy-Band, and we shall explore more of Danny's past, Who Trevor is, and what the future holds for the whole story line. Be patient as this is going somewhere but it will not be there in a blink of an eye. I will not be having any sex scenes for a while. I know boo hoo. Get over it folks if all you want is sex look elsewhere. Life is about more than just plain sex and such. Life is a beautiful and at times harsh thing. If you like what you have read so far, keep an eye out for the next installment. They should be out about every one to two weeks, if things go smoothly if not, well they will be out as they come out. Live with it. No one, least of all me or you is perfect. IF you think you are, well get over yourself.
I have in the meantime moved my website from www.geocities.com/denn0113 to a new address, for several reasons. Suffice it to say that you can still go there and there's a link to the new site or you can go to my new site directly at http://members.xoom.com/slashfic
A little about the storyline and abuse.
Now I would like to tell you this folks, I am not going to go into the graphic details of the abuse, the memories and/or dreams of it. I set out to write this story and it took on a life of it's own. I will not apologize for bringing up subjects that folks are not very comfortable with. I do apologize if you find this offensive. I have a reason for writing this story. This is based off of personal first hand knowledge. I am a survivor of abuse. I am not telling you this to ask for sympathy, pity or anything else. This is a fact and it's part of who and what I am. I survived it, many, all too many kids don't survive being abused. We as a society need to take a stand on the issues of abuse and suicide. They are not going to go away simply because we choose not to face them and deal with them. They will only get worse. Please if you take nothing else away from having read this, keep the memory of what you felt when you read this story. For every child out there who is silent there is an abuser who can do harm to many children. We need to ensure that abuse doesn't happen and that when it does the victim understands that they are not in the wrong. That it wasn't their fault. Abuse is not about sex, or violence. Yes they are the most common forms that it takes, but they are about control and power. This is a sad thing but it's the truth. Please think about what you do and what you can do as a individual to help folks around you.