Well here is Part two of Soul Mates: Frick and Frack. I had a really great response from the first part and I really do appreciate it. It seemed like the overwhelming majority wanted Kevin to mix it up with Nick. That doesn't leave JC out in the future though. As I have already told some of you, the original title of this story was just Frick and Frack. I changed it to Soul Mates: Frick and Frack, because I am planning to alternate it with Soul Mates: Justin and JC... So you N'sync fans it should be out maybe by the weekend. There will be crossovers from time to time. Like in this installment. Suggestions are always welcome, I may not have used exactly what some of you wanted but they give me a good idea of what direction to take the story in. My E-mail is Travis8888@netscape.net As usual if you are under 18 you can't be here. I don't know Brian, Nick or Kevin, so I don't know if they are gay or not. Although I did get an E-mail from someone who said that they worked security at one of the venues they were at, and he said they were "all over each other". Brian and Nick that is.
So who knows? Not me.
By. J.
~Brian~
I'm glad Nick got a home of his own, I sure wouldn't want to have to face his family right now. It would be to awkward, and they probably don't even know about him yet. Well, here goes nothing, I'll just ring the doorbell and face the music.
"Hi, Brian, come on in." Nick asked me in barely a whisper. "I thought that you were gonna come back with me to my place?" I begged. "Under the circumstances I think it's best if we talk here. I don't want to feel trapped at your place. I just wouldn't feel comfortable." Nick explained.
"OK. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have, babe." I replied disappointedly.
I wanted Nick to come home with me. I just felt that if I had him at my house everything would work out, but I'll take what I can get. Please God let him forgive me. I need him.
"Do you want anything to drink or eat?" Nick questioned as he motioned for me to sit down in his living room. "No Frack. Why are you talking to me like we just met. I've stayed over at your house many times, I think if I was thirsty I could just go get something." "How do you want me to talk to you Bri? Everything feels different. It's like were not even friends anymore." "Don't say that Nicky! No matter what we will always be a part of each others lives. I know I messed up, but I'm here and I want us to give it another try. I know that I can't take back what I did, and I will always regret it. The thing is though, you and me have a shot at something that most people in this world never get. I know that we were meant to be together. I feel physically sick whenever were separated, I can't concentrate and I always miss you. Please give me one more chance." " I want to Brian, but every time I see you I can't help but feel all the pain again. I know that you and everybody else probably think that I'm over reacting or being immature, but I can't help it. I had this fantasy of you so long. In my mind you were always kind and loving and beautiful and well, I guess just perfect. I know now that it isn't true. I just always assumed you could never hurt me Frick. You always protected me. You're the only person in this world that I have ever fully trusted and it just hurt me so much. You were supposed to take care of me Bri."
By this time Nick was sobbing on the couch, so I got up from the armchair I was sitting on and sat next to him on the couch and just wrapped him in my arms as he broke down. I now had a deeper understanding of where he was coming from. Before I met him I knew that he had a hard life but he rarely talked about it. Actually he never talked about it and it was the one subject that was closed off to me and everyone else. As a child his family was frequently homeless and so Nick spent much of his youth living either in their car or out of cheap motels. I always got the feeling that his parents basically forced him in to performing to pay the bills. He rarely talked about his life before we became a group, but from things I picked up on here and there, I got the impression that his father was domineering and abusive. So it made sense that he had this perfect version of me in his head. He saw me as his savior, but how could I ever live up to that?
After everything he had gone through in life he just latched on to me.
And I knew this and still let him down! I may not have known the extent of his reliance on me, but I knew how much he depended on me. How could I be so blind! "Nick I know that I've hurt you real bad, but let me fix it. Let me love you and take care of you. That's all I want to do." "Brian, only part of this is about you. I mean you know how I grew up and you just reminded me that the people that are supposed to love you the most are the ones that can hurt you the worst." "I know that it brought back issues that you had buried. But Nicky, let me help heal you. Our love can get through this."
"Brian I can't, at least not right now. I can forgive you for what happened, but I can't get back together with you. At least not right now.
I need to fix myself before I can be with you. I don't want to feel that without you I'm nothing, and right now that's how I feel. I want you to be the best part of my life, not the only part. I guess what I'm trying to say is I need space for awhile." "Then I'll give you that space, but Frack don't forget that I love you and am waiting for you. Does this mean we can't see each other?" "I don't know what it means, but I do love you, Bri." "I love you too" I said and then sobbed desperately to Nick "please don't let this be the end Nick, keep me in your heart and come back to me, soon." After our talk I left feeling alone and guilty. I may not have been responsible for the hell he went through as I child, but I was insensitive to it. Somewhere along the way Nick had become my responsibility and I his. Now that was gone. I will get him back somehow, though, I have to.
If I don't what do I have to live for?
~Nick~
Way to go Nick! You try to have an adult conversation with Brian and what do you do? Get hysterical and cry all over the place, making an ass out of yourself. Why did I bring it up? I hate the way I grew up before I met Brian, now it seems like I was just milking it for sympathy. If only people new the hell I lived through with my father. I hate you Dad, this is all your fault. Fuck was that the doorbell? Who's here now?!
"Oh Hi Kev. What are you doing here?" "Do I need a reason to visit one of my best friends?" "Since when am I one of your best friends? One of your only friends maybe." "Ha Ha, very funny. I wanted to make sure you were OK. So are you OK?" "I'm fine, come on in." "Well actually since your fine, why don't you come on out. I thought we could go to Disney World for awhile and get your mind off of everything. Just me and you, we hardly get to spend time together." "I guess we can. OK."
What's up with Kevin lately? I could have sworn he was flirting with me yesterday in the car and now he's wanting to go do something alone together. I guess he's just worried about me. I'm actually glad he's with me. Kevin is so strong and reliable, I wish I was more like him.
~Kevin~
I really am concerned about him. I mean it's not like I'm trying to make a move on him. I just like being around Nick. He's so carefree and fun.
I wish I could be more like that. It's like I can let go and be loose when I'm around him. He brings that out in me. Probably because he loves to yank my chain and aggravate me. Truth be told, I just act like it upsets me. I like it when he gives me some attention. He love Brian though. I love my cousin too and would never get in the way of his relationship with Nick. But if it doesn't work out. I want Nick to know I'm here. "Let's go on the Jurassic Park ride, Kev!" "Are you sure your not to young for it though? We wouldn't want little Nicky wetting his pants." "Shut up you geriatric cow poke. Now come on." Nick yelled grabbing my hand.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I don't know if I can control my feelings for him much longer. Where did these feelings come from? One minute he's just a bratty kid, the next his the headlining act in all my fantasies. "Wow that was so cool. The T-Rex kinda looked like you in the morning Kevy!" "Funny, funny. you should be a stand up comedian. Let me check and see if you wet yourself. Nope. Guess I won't have to change your diaper yet."
I can't believe I did that. Why did I touch his crotch? I was just joking around and before you know it I'm "checking to see if he wet himself" supposedly. What the hell is wrong with me? I could tell I totally freaked him out. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
~Nick~
I can't believe he did that! Kevin sure has loosened up these past couple of days. I must be rubbing off on him. Didn't expect that he'd be rubbing up on me though. He he. He was just fooling around though. Kevin's as straight as they come. He has so much testosterone he could bottle it and turn gay men straight.
"Hey Kev, isn't that Justin Timberlake over there?" "Over where? Oh yeah, lets go say hi." "Hey Justin how's it going?" I asked in my most chipper of tones. "Hey Nick, Kevin. What are you two doing here?" "We were just chillin'. How 'bout you?" I questioned. "Me and JC were just hanging out too. He's getting us some lemonade. We finally got a couple weeks off."
Justin answered. "We got a couple weeks off too. We just have to do a couple meetings but all in all, it's a welcomed break from touring." Kev spoke up. "Nick Carter is that you under that fisherman's hat?" JC arrived holding the lemonade. "No. I'm the killer from 'I know what you did last summer', of course it's me fool." I kidded. "Hi Kevin. I didn't see you there. I was mesmerized by the God that is Nickolas Gene Carter." JC continued to joke.
Me and JC had known each other for a long time. We had met at auditions and stuff when we were younger, eventually becoming pretty good friends.
Not as close as my brothers in the group, but close just the same. I was actually cast in the New Mickey Mouse Club with him, but bailed out at the last minute to be a backstreet Boy. I guess that's how Justin got the part. Speaking of Justin, he sure mad dogged me when JC made that crack about me being a God. I wonder if these two have something going on. I always kinda suspected. They were the Frick and Frack of 'N'sync.
"Nick a God? Oh please! We have a hard enough time dealing with his ego now, don't encourage him." Kevin joked. "Hey now! JC was merely speaking the truth. I can't help that I'm stunningly handsome." "Your a freak t hat's what you are." Kevin kidded. "Well me and Justin were just leaving, but give me a call and we can go do something this week Nick?" "OK by JC."
"Kevin I need to go use the restroom, I'll be right back." "Do you want me to come with you?" "No! I think I can manage." "OK, well I'll just wait here then."
OK, I ditched Kevin. Now where is that number. Ah here it is. Thank God for Cellular phones. I gotta do this quick, before the old man (Kevin) gets suspicious. I swear he's like a blood hound when someone is being sneaky.
"Hi, this is Nick Carter. I need to speak with Clive Calder ASAP!" "OK sir let me connect you." his secretary replied. "Nick, my man, what can I do for you?" "I need a big favor Clive." "Anything for my next big solo star." "That's just what I wanted to talk to you about. I need you to cancel our meeting Monday. I've decided to stay in the group after all."
"But you already signed a solo contract, Nick." "I plan to honor it. I
just don't want anyone to find out just yet. I want to work on my album for awhile and just keep it to myself." "OK, Nick. As long as we get that album, as far as I'm concerned its your business who knows about it."
"Thanks Clive. Your the best." "I know. Bye Nick."
~Kevin~ What is that kid up to? He's been in the bathroom for about four years now. I'm going to go find him. I hope he didn't fall in the toilet again.
He he.
"Where are you going Kev?" "I was coming to look for you. What the heck were you doing?" "Oh I was just..." "Just a minute. My phone's ringing....This is Kevin Richardson....Yeah, uh huh, OK, thanks Clive."
"What did Clive want Kev?" "Oh our meeting on Monday was canceled. So are you ready to head out?" "Yeah but...what's that behind your back?"
"Oh. Since you took so long in the bathroom I played a couple of games and won you a present. I know how much you like collecting your beanie babies, so I won this for you. His name is Kevy cow." "Kevin he's name is not Kevy cow. I didn't even know they made cow beanie babies. Why a cow?"
"His name is Kevy cow if you want to keep him and a cow because he's from your how did you phrase it "Geriatric Cow poke" friend. "Thanks Kevy Cow."
"Hey that's the beanie baby, not me."
~Nick~
Today was really fun. Who knew that Kevin was actually able to have a good time without getting all stressed out about something. At least I got my mind off of Brian for awhile. Apparently it wouldn't last because here I am thinking about him again. I was right though, I have to get my life back on track before I can even think of a relationship with Frick. Maybe a solo album will help me do that. It might help me deal with things I haven't wanted to deal with.
"Well, looks like were here. I had fun today Nick. Who would have thought you and me could actually spend a day together and not fight." "The guys won't believe it when we tell them." "Actually Nick, let's not tell them."
"Why not, are you trying to keep are love affair a secret?" I joked as I playfully punched Kevin while we were sitting in his truck. "No it not that..." "Why don't you come in for awhile, I can kick your ass at Nintendo." "Well OK, but just for a little while."
~Brian~
I knew I had to do something to show Nick how much I loved him. I didn't want to pressure him, but I wanted to give him something that would be a daily reminder that I was waiting for him. I decided to get him a ring, nothing fancy though. When I went to the jewelry store I found a simple silver band and on the front I had them engrave Frack, I got one also with the inscription Frick. I wanted to give him the one that said Frick and I planned to keep the one that said Frack, so we would have something of each others. Once I had his Frick ring wrapped I signed a card saying why I was giving it to him and headed out to his house. How was I to know that what I would see would break my heart and ruin my entire life. As I parked my BMW and got out I could see my cousin Kevin walking out the front door.
What was he doing there? I could hear him talking to Nick.
"I had a really great time today Nicky. I wish things could be..." Kevin trailed off.
What was he trying to say?
"You wish what Kev?" Nick asked.
Then Kevin and Nick kissed! I couldn't believe it. My own cousin and my best friend betrayed me. How could this happen! How could Nick do this to me. I just cried as the anger and sorrow built to a fever pitch in me.
~Nick~ "What are you doing Kevin? Why did you kiss me?" "I'm sorry Nick, I don't know what I was..." "What the fuck are you two doing? How could you do this to me? After all you put me through over what I did to you with LeighAnn, you got out and bag my cousin. Is this revenge? And you Kevin your my own cousin, family!" Brian raged.
Where did he come from? Oh my God. And what the fuck is wrong with Kevin. I have to explain this. He's never gonna believe me though. It's the truth though, Kevin kissed me. I didn't return the kiss.
"Brian let me explain, I didn't kiss..." Brian cut me off before I was able to finish. "Explain what. How I don't mean shit to you. How you betrayed me with my own cousin. It would be bad enough had it been some stranger, but my own family, Nicky!" "Cuz it's not his fault let me explain..."
Unfortunately Kevin didn't get a chance to explain. Brian rushed him and punched him first in the eye and them in the mouth. I had never seen him so angry. He was fuming and ready to blow again. He was even cussing, which in anyone else might seem perfectly normal, but with Brian, it meant more.
"I hate you both! I hope you both rot in hell." Brian was screaming hysterically. "Well I guess you got your revenge Frack. You just tore my fucking heart and soul out. Are you happy now? Are we even? Here this is for you!"
Brian through a wrapped box at me and before I could even explain to him what had happened, he got in his car and drove off.
~Brian~
My life is over. Nick might as well have shot me in the head. I can't deal with this. I've gone through so much this year. When I had to have my heart surgery and thought I was dying, Nick is the only person who could get me through it. I tried to leave the hospital, but he held my hand and gave me strength as I cried. We were just friends then, but we still had that bond, and now its over. But can I really blame him? If I hadn't screwed things up to begin with, we would still be together. I just kept on speeding on my way home. As my speedometer went past 110mph I realized I didn't care anymore. I began weaving in and out of traffic like a maniac. Nothing matters without Nicky. Without my Frack, what was there for me. "Ahhh, oh my god!"
~Kevin~
Boy, Kev did you royally fuck things up this time. How could I do this.
I love my cousin. He's always been like a baby brother to me. He's right I did betray him, I'm scum. Poor Nick though, none of this is his fault but now he's paying for it. Ow my face sure hurts.
"Kevin are you OK? Come on in so we can clean you up. Your lip is bleeding and your eye is swelling shut." "I'll be OK." "Just come on in."
As Nick was cleaning me up and putting ice on my eye the inevitable happened. I knew he would ask and he did.
"Kev, why the hell did you kiss me? Do you know what you've done to Brian.
He thinks I betrayed him now. How could you do something like that?" "I don't know Nick. It's just ever sense I found out that you and Brian were gay, I started having feelings for you and..." "What do you mean feelings for me?" "Nick I'm gay." I whispered as I hung my head low. "How can you be gay Kevin? Just because you wanted a relationship like me and Brian had? That doesn't make you gay Kev." "Ah, I think I know that I'm gay Nicky. I don't like girls and I didn't go see 'Meet Joe Black' for Brad Pitt's acting abilities." "I just can't believe it. How come you never said anything?" "I was afraid. Why didn't you say anything?" "I meant after you found out about me and Brian." "I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I'm not like you and Brian. I have more responsibilities.
People expect more from me. Good 'ole reliable Kevin. Listen Nick I'm sorry I kissed you. I was out of line. As soon as I give Bri, a chance to cool down, I will explain the whole thing to him." "Thanks Kevin. And I'm glad I know about you now." "Nick I want you to know that I'm here if you need me as a friend or more if things don't work out with you and Bri. I would never come between you and my cousin, but if things don't work out, remember, I'm here." "Bye Kevin"
~Nick~
Once Kevin left I started to think about all that had just happened. It felt weird in a way knowing that Kevin was interested in me. I mean we are so different and he's so much older than me. Not so much in years, but in personality. It felt good to be wanted though. As I thought of these things I noticed the box Brian had thrown at me. Inside was a beautiful silver ring that said Frick on it. I figured the clerk messed up and wrapped the wrong ring, but then I read the small card that was stuck to the box and began to cry.
Nicky,
You probably noticed that the ring I gave you says Frick. I wanted you to wear my ring so that you always remember that I'm a part of your heart and am always with you. I in turn am wearing your Frack ring to keep you close to me and give me hope that you will forgive me and come back to me. Soon?
I Love You, Forever.
B.
The moment I read that note I realized that no matter what I belonged to Brian and he belonged to me. Period. I had to fix things between us and get us back together. Tonight. This time I know it will work out. You've just gotta believe me Brian when I explain about Kevin. I got in my car and headed for Brian's apartment.
~Brian~
Damn that was close! I almost hit that car. Maybe I should have, what do I have to live for? No! I couldn't endanger innocent people. But I was on to something. I didn't have anything to live for. As I pulled up to my driveway, I continued to sob uncontrollably. I ran into my apartment and began the letter I knew I must write. It was the only option I had to end the pain. Once I had written the letter, I went into my bedroom and took out my heart medication as well as the pain killers the doctors had prescribed. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly but all I could focus on was ending the pain of betrayal. I methodically began to open each bottle and empty the pills on the bed. Because I was touring so much I was allowed to have several months worth of medication in advance. Although I had made a complete recovery, I would be on medication for several more months. In other words, I had enough medication to do the job. I began to swallow pill after pill, the first few going down smoothly. Towards the end my gag reflex started to make it more difficult for me to swallow, but I kept on.
Once I was done I went back downstairs and left my suicide note on the floor by the front door. I then went back to my room to go to sleep. My last thoughts were of Nick and how much I loved him. In that moment I knew I wanted to live, but it was to late. I couldn't move or open my eyes. I gasped for breath that wouldn't come. Then everything faded...
~Nick~
I rang Brian's door bell for what seemed like the one-hundredth time, and still no answer. I started pounding on the door and yelling for Brian to open up. I wasn't going to give up that easily.
"I have a key to your house, Frick, so either you open the door or I'm coming in anyway!" I shouted becoming panicked.
I don't know why I couldn't wait until morning. I just had this urgent need to see Brian. I can't explain it. I took out my key and opened the front door. The lights were on and as I began to enter I noticed a letter on the floor. I picked it up and noticed it was addressed to me. As I opened the letter I expected it to say he left town for a couple of days and we would talk when he got back. What I read instead filled me with greatest amount of fear I had ever experienced. Fear to the point that my knees buckled and I hit the floor.
Nick,
By the time you read this letter you will have known that I am no longer here. I just could not face this world anymore, I guess I'm not as strong as you always thought I was. In the last year I have found myself losing hope and unable to deal with my life. First my heart surgery, then being gay, and finally losing you to Kevin. I'm not blaming you! This is NOT your fault. I love you Nicky. I'm just not strong enough. I get so confused. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't deal with it anymore. I want you to do something for me. I want you to overcome your problems. I couldn't, but I know you can. I want you to have a great life because you deserve it. You do. You are such a special person and no matter what has happened to you, you still manage to be a funny and giving person. Just promise me that once in awhile, maybe on a rainy day, or when the wind is blowing that you will remember me and how much I loved you.
I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please tell my Parents and my brother and the guys that I love them.
Bye,
Brian.
In a flash I ran from the door to the nearest phone and dialed 911. I took the phone with me as I ran up the stairs to Brian's bedroom. Oh my god! Empty bottles of his heart medication were on the floor and he was laying face up on the bed, not breathing.
"911, what is the nature of your emergency?" "My friend took some pills to kill himself and... Brian! Brian! Wake up! Brian!" I screamed as I began to shake him with no response. "Sir an ambulance is on their way. I need you to remain calm and attempt CPR." "But I don't know how?" "I will give you instructions over the telephone."
I would not have to perform CPR after all. The paramedics entered the bedroom just as the 911 operator mentioned it. They worked on Brian for what seemed like hours, finally getting the faintest breath. It was all a blur as I got into the ambulance not knowing whether my Frick would live or die. I just held his hand and cried. Repeating the same phrase "Don't leave me!" over and over, like it was a mantra.
TBC