The age of the dancer in this piece will be left to the reader's imagination. It is simply my recollection of a beautiful teenage male dancer I once knew as I look back on him. Please send any feedback you have for me to my email: moonlitrain@protonmail.com. I hope you all enjoy this.
Soul Dancer
In high school, I was a loner and deeply drowning in the closet. I didn't fit in anywhere and I felt lost. I was a huge drama geek and as such, came in contact with the dance program at the high school. As a result, I met you. You were a rising dance star and your beauty seized my heart the moment I saw you. After that, I found out about the rest of your powerful humanity. This is a simple paean to you and what you meant to me.
I see you leaping through my dreams on those beautiful, muscled legs of yours. I imagine the beautifully defined muscles of your back, the flat hardness of your stomach cradled between the sharp jutting of your hipbones and the perfect lean muscle of your chest and arms, powerful but not bulky. I can see the proud way in which you carried your head and the soft half-smile that sometimes wreathed the face you thought was too serious. Your hair was a halo of red flame against your milky skin. You hated the unruly curls of your hair, but I thought that they were perfect. The lithe grace to your movements, the poise with which everything you did was executed still sticks in my memory. I will always ache when I remember it.
I never was able to touch you or kiss you. I burned for you, burned to taste your soft lips, burned to feel the silken texture of smooth skin over hard muscle. I dreamed of what your beautiful penis would look like, how it would transform into a throbbing hard "cock" when it was erect. It would go from a mere anatomical term to a loaded word that spoke of lust and arousal. I wanted to see that cock cum hard in ejaculatory ecstasy, wanted to spread the beautiful twin orbs of your bottom and gently rim you. I wanted to listen to your soft moans and feel the tight heat of you around me as I was inside of you. I'd jerk off furiously thinking about that unattainable beauty, moaning your name as I shuddered and orgasmed.
You also had a beautiful boyfriend and I was jealous of him being with you. As is so often the case, the thought of you and he together was still incredibly sexually arousing, despite the level of jealousy your relationship with him engendered. The crazy aspect of it was that in many ways, your close and loving relationship showed me what might be possible for me in the future. You proved to me that two guys could be deeply in love and together in a holistic way.
If you had been just another distant, beautiful boy about who I fantasized, I don't think you would have touched me the way you did. It was the fact that, inside that beautiful body, was a beautiful soul. You had strength, grace and physical beauty but you were kind to the weak, the small, the ugly. You gave generously of your time to help others and always had the time to laugh that contagious laugh of yours. Perhaps it is that which I miss the most. You were my friend even though I was plain and geeky and undesirable. It meant so much to me that you treated me like another member of the beautiful crowd you were a part of, not the loser that mostly everyone else considered me. I was hopelessly in love with you and you knew it, but you never laughed at me and you never teased me cruelly with it.
Your passion for dancing was so addictive and infectious. You would talk with such animation about how it made you feel, how it was all you had ever wanted to do or be and about where you wanted it to take you in the future. That passion for your craft made me want to write more deeply from my heart and made me feel as if nothing but creative passion was important. There was an essential flame about you that lit a fire in everyone who you touched. I have never stopped finding dancers beautiful and inspiring. Of course, I've never stopped finding them especially beautiful and inspiring when they're teenagers. That's another story though!
I was always amazed that you could be so pretty physically and still have a sense of proportion about it. True, you had moments of arrogance, but you'd always come around and say or do something to show me that you didn't take yourself too seriously. I liked how you were able to laugh at yourself and encouraged me to laugh too when you did something silly.
There was also the value of hard work in you. No dancer gets anywhere without that hard work and you were one of the hardest workers. What it taught me was that if I wanted to have a writing career, I'd need to have the same work ethic. We'd sit and talk about creativity, about inspiration and about drive. You'd remind me that nothing comes easy or without hard work and that lesson has stuck with me ever since.
Eventually, like so many people we know in high school, you left my life and we lost touch. I haven't heard from you, but I know you went on to a fulfilling career in dance. I suspect by now you're teaching or coaching young dancers. You changed my life and helped set me on my own creative path. I hope that you are still dancing and still beautiful in a new and different way. I will always miss you and treasure the memory of your beauty, grace and fiery passion. It has been a warmth for me when life grew cold and showed me another side. I'll never forget you, my soul dancer and you'll always be dancing in my dreams.