Disclaimer: This story is completely fictional. None of the names in the story are real people, at least ones that this author knows. This is gay fiction about high school romance, therefore if you are UNDER 18, GET OUT, it is illegal for you to view this AND YOU KNOW THAT. Boy this is getting somewhat redundant!
Author's Note: I'm not the kind of person who is going to write a porn novel. If I'm writing a story, it is going to be something real. So, I hope you like that. This is the first time I've written a story like this, and I know you know this, this is already Chapter 4 and Installment # 5 of this story, so if you have been keeping up with the whole thing, you pretty much know what I say up here. I'm just getting bored of saying the same thing over and over again. As a writer, Disclaimers are the most boring things in the world. I will say this, I don't see the harm in young people reading these stories, but I can understand why people would say you shouldn't. A, it's illegal, and B, some parents aren't really cool with the idea of their kids reading gay erotica on their computers, but I try and think of my story as something different. "Sophomoric Blues" is a tale of high school romance, of a boy coming into whom he really is. Anyway, enjoy Chapter 4, and I hope you all like it.
________________________________________________________________________ "Sophomoric Blues" CHAPTER 4
"The rest of this week is going to drag on," I thought as my cell phone went off signaling the time. It was now 6:00AM Wednesday August 17, 2006. "Maybe I need to stop living on the edge, stop trying to do things differently, I mean last year wasn't all that boring. I hung out with my superficial football, track, and lacrosse friends. I did my theater and choir things, I tried not to get close to them, and the only ones I got close to played sports also. I went to parties, granted they were stereotypical high school parties, at the rich kid's house with kegs filled with beer, and drunken girls trying to get it with all the willing boys. I was popular last year, and now I'm popular and hot. I can't get it on with a guy like I would like, but if I went to those parties; I'd be able to find a girl. Eww, someone shoot me, I'm turning into a straight jock idiot. I have to admit, they had fun lives, they partied all the time, they had 2900 kids at their school who looked up to them, most of them were rich, why don't I want to be like them. Why do I have to be different? Why do I even want to be different? If I were just like Chase Brunnam or Lewis Corning, or maybe Angelo Soprano, I'd be like the most popular guy in school and loving it. Or would I? Why am I gay, what force of hell brought this upon me, why did I find it more fun and pleasurable to be with a group of lesbians or occasionally gay men at their parties or watch Rent, Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Fame. Why didn't I like Remember the Titans, Miracle, or The Little Giants? That was what my parents raised me to like, why couldn't I be the all American football hero like all the Parkers wanted me to be. Why did I feel my fullest on stage and not on the field? Why did I melt with ecstasy as I was held in Ronnie's arms last night instead of cheer myself or pat myself on the back while holding some chick. Why did I have to be gay? Why did the one person who I thought was gay and attached myself too, then fell in love with have to be straight? Why did society hate this? What is wrong with me?" I pondered and pondered. I was confused this morning and had no idea how I was going to hold up in school today. I had decided yesterday that I was going to rid myself of all contacts with Tommy Cleason like I had done last year, I just hope this all doesn't repeat itself in another nine months. Yesterday afternoon, Tommy Cleason didn't just break my heart, he broke my soul, my confidence, everything that boasts I am Alexander Carlos Parker, hear me roar! Now, I'm a feeble wreck with no plan as to how I was supposed to face everybody. Would people notice me changed? Would they care? How am I supposed to do this?
I shut my phone off now that it had been blasting Carmen Habanera for the past ten minutes. I took a long, steaming hot shower, which made me want to go back to bed, but I knew that a sick day on day two of the school year would be a little conspicuous. I went to my closet to pick out something to wear, normally I look like someone out of either a Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Polo Ralph Lauren, or Armani Exchange catalog good, I take pride in what I wear usually, but today I could care less. I took out a pair of Memorial Parkway Junior High School shorts, a Katy Independent School District Javelin Competition t-shirt and l think I even wore my J.E. Taylor Mustang boxers to really pull off the I don't care I'm cooler than you jock whatever in your face, I don't even have to think about it and I look good look, that jocks have perfected. To top it all off, I put on my Taylor Mustang football baseball cap and left my house. Despite the fact that I had laid on my bed for a while and took a long shower, I still left my house too early, and when I got to the junior parking lot, I was the first one there, I decided to drive back on Kingsland to the Starbucks next to the Green Trails Community Pool. After I finished my latt^Â, I returned to Taylor a little more refreshed I guess. I hadn't gotten my normal morning jog in this morning, I didn't even set my alarm early enough for me to go out jogging. Truthfully last night my mood was so down I just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. I left my truck and headed up the concrete path to the building. Because it was still too early for everybody to come into the building, I went down to the band department. Band students are welcome into the building as soon as the band directors arrive so that they can practice; our music department at Taylor is very competitive.
"Alex, here so early? You don't even have lessons today!" Dr. Hutchinson (Hutch to all the band kids) joked.
"Yeah it's not like I need to practice, I'm the only person in Harris County who plays this instrument!"
"If you expect to make regions and all state this year, Alex there are others who play all the clarinets like you!"
"I know Hutch, I've been practicing believe me."
"Well, I guess I'll here today when we play." He winked.
I went out of Hutch's office to the main band hall to go retrieve my music and instrument when the door to the band hall opened, and there came Thomas Cleason. I quickly grabbed my folder stuck it in my case, and unpacked my double E flat contralto clarinet in one of the practice rooms. I should have realized that going to the band room wasn't really smart. This is where I always met Tommy in the mornings and in the afternoons. Then I remembered how I left Tommy out in the middle of Houston far from his house yesterday, and remembering my strong Christian upbringing, I did feel horrible. Someone slap me for this, but I actually felt the urge to go over to the asshole and apologize for what I had done yesterday. He breaks my heart and sole, and I feel sorry for him! I left my instrument propped up against the practice room wall and went over to the percussion practice ward where I figured I'd find Tom. When I walked into the room he was in, I saw him violently beating his glockenspiel with his mallets. (Literally not figuratively, sorry y'all.)
"Hey" I said, he hadn't looked up from the instrument. I decided to walk over to in back of him. I don't know what was wrong with me, I mean, he puts me through emotional hell and then I'm in a room with him and all I want to do is hug or kiss him. I should have left, but I couldn't, I walked over to his side and tried to speak to him once more.
"Tommy, I'm really sorry for yesterday. I was really wrong of me to leave you off in Memorial."
"Please go Alex," he spoke, but very lightly, he didn't even look up from his glockenspiel.
"It was just, what you said yesterday, it really hu" I started, but then Tommy cut in, he looked up at me, and I could see tears in his eyes, "Please Alex, just leave."
I knew it now, Tommy was, but he wasn't ready, he was too scared, or there was too much at risk there, I left the room, but before I did, I kissed his hand.
"I'm sorry too Alex"
"No problem Tommy, none at all."
I now knew that my love was gay, but not ready to be, truthfully I wasn't sure how ready I was also. All I knew was that I'll stay away from Tommy for him, and there won't be any bitterness there. I suppose I could live with that, if there was no bitterness. Society's harshness towards homosexuality is just ridiculous, I mean it's not so much my generation, they aren't completely opened minded, but it's not like our parents' generations. They just aren't as ready for change as we are, they don't understand. What is so wrong with it? As long as there is love or something, I just don't get how a parent could impose such fear on their kids, well that's not true, I live in that. I suppose what I don't get, is how they can look themselves in the face after seeing what they've done to their child; stripping the real identity of them and throwing it away in pieces only for them to grow up an emotional wreck spending thousands of dollars to some shrink and trapped in an unloving marriage. School was going to be tough today, I would have to suppress the urge to cry, I know that if my parents ever found out I was gay, I might not be thrown out, but my life mine as well be over. Poor Tommy, it seems as if there are some really big issues there, that his parents would be worse than mine if he told them, I mean he was in tears before! I wasn't going to stay away from him, I was just going to be like an acquaintance to him during school, so that we could still see each other, but not become so close that something far from platonic would evolve. I decided to not practice my instrument, I went back into the practice room and put my clarinet back in its case, then put that and my folder away.
"Where are you going, you done practicing already?" Hutch joked.
"I dunno, I'll bring my horn home Hutch."
"You better!"
I left the band hall, and headed up for the upstairs quad where my locker was. As I passed the athletic compound, I raised my head in that type of superficial jock male bonding type thing to a couple of my football friends.
"Hey Alex, what are you doing Saturday night?" Angelo Soprano asked when he saw me pass the boy's gym.
"Umm, I'm going to a party, why?"
"Ah, is it Debbie's party, you should go to that one, it's gunna be off the hook! Her parents are going to be out of town, and you know what we'll be doing! Yeah, so come!"
"Na, Ange I'm going to my party. It's a frat party over at kappa phi delta at Rice! Drunk college girls, drunk high school ones, which one you think I'm going too?" I lied though my teeth, I'm surprised shit wasn't coming up!
"Aw, awesome man, tell me about it on Monday, you lucky bastard. Have fun, damn Alex. I wish I was you."
"Yeah, you know!" I grinned and left, fuew that was close!
On my way to my locker, Ms. Yates stopped me by guidance to give me the pass for group this week! That heightened my spirits, so did talking with Ms. Yates. She's a really nice person, and always a great complimenter, and with my weight loss this summer, she was fun to be with, hehe. .I looked down at the pass once I got to my locker and realized it was during calculus 2, it will be fun to find out what Mr. Stuetenbach will say when butchness Valerie and me, have to go down to the crisis counselor, lol. When I got to my locker, Ronnie, oh crap, Ronnie was there.
"Hey Alex, wassup?"
"Ronnie, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing and all, that's it."
"I'm fine, now Ronnie, really please go."
"Embarrassed to be seen with Taylor's resident fag?"
"Shut up, I'll talk to you in group today."
"Whatever." Ronnie than winked, but all of a sudden he looked a little frightened. I turned around, there was one of my lacrosse friends, Patrick, he was a bully, and well, he liked picking on "fags", and now one of the "fags" hand infiltrated his bunch of buddies and was actually talking to one, this didn't look like it was going to be pretty.
"Hey Pat, wassup?"
"What's that fag doing over here talking to you?"
"Nothing, he wanted to give something back to my sister, they are good friends, but you know she goes to Pope John 23, so he couldn't."
"You have a sister Alex around our age?"
"Yeah, dork, she's a year younger, but she's always gone to private school because she's Daddy's little princess."
"Oh yeah, whatever, talk to you later!" Patrick lied.
Once out of hearing or viewing distance, Ronnie said, "You are frightfully good at lying, that was really good. Should I wonder about you?"
"No, I just think very clearly when in stressful situations!"
"Umm, sure, yeah, like dropping off Cleason miles from where he lives, think clearly then?"
"Shut up! Besides, I've got stuff about him to talk about him, can I come over after practice and tell it to you?"
"No, I've got to start working on the fall play Alex, we'll talk on the way to Logan's party."
"That might be too late!"
"You need to get over him Alex, you do! So no, we don't talk about him until you are on your way locked in the car on the way to that party! Now I got to get to homeroom, c ya." And the bastard left. Sometimes Ronnie could be annoying. The rest of the week went on uneventfully. Nothing out of the ordinary or special went on. When Friday came around, we beat Mayde Creek High School in football 56-14, it was a great game, I'm actually a surprisingly good running back! Then the next day, I went to the choir auditions, and I think I did pretty well.
Game Day...
"So, my first gay party, what am I going to wear? I'm going to go Abercrombie and Fitch for this occasion," I thought.
"So where are you going tonight Alex?"
"I'm going to a friend's house, I probably won't be back until church tomorrow."
"What? Whose house?"
"Ronald's"
"Don't you two go do anything illegal, you hear?"
"Mom, of course not!"
And then I left my house, "goodbye 15406 Walnut Pl, the next time I'm back, hopefully I'll be a man, or eh, whatever! I'm going to my first gay party, I might find a guy there." I was so ecstatic I was so anxious to get over to Ronnie's and pick him up, that I drove like a maniac down Kingsland Blvd to Barker Rd. Once I got to Windsor Park Lakes, I punched in the code and zoomed right off to Ronnie's, I was going so fast, I frightened his family when I pulled into his driveway, I came to such a sudden halt, I left unwanted rubber marks on their prestigiously tiled driveway.
"Somebody's ready!"
"You bet the hell I am!"
So that was Chapter 4, not what you expected, is it? Don't worry, this story is nowhere being done, its only just begun to unravel itself, and Chapter 5 should be fun. Tell me what you think of this one @ Punkincognito313@AOL.com