Sophomore Year 13
In this chapter, Buck recounts strategies that helped him as well as his younger son to overcome shyness in locker room situations and offers Hank a chance to try them.
Many years ago, an internet search for "dad + jockstrap" led me to the story "Dad's Lucky Jockstrap" and to discover the treasures of Nifty. That story, posted 20 years ago, and the adventures of its naïve hero, have given me countless hours of reading pleasure and continue to serve as a paradigm of the gay picaresque. I aspire towards his example with this, my first story for Nifty.
Many thanks to those who have sent words of encouragement. I am well aware that our story so far is very long on texture and detail and rather short on rapid plot development. Of course, it could move faster, but it is my story and I only get one chance to tell it and, as I recall the events, I feel a need to reshape them into a cohesive narrative as well as to embellish with what I wish they'd been.
When all is said and done, one climax is much like another. It is the path leading to it that gives it its thrust, so to speak, and I prefer to linger along that path and savor it, like slowly dragging one's fingertips across velvet. Should this not be your preferred style today, I am not the least offended by your selection of other stories. There are many rooms in the house of Nifty.
And remember - Nifty depends on our donations! Let's help it survive and thrive! If you have ever shot a load reading a Nifty post, then please contribute if you can at http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
Sophomore Year 13
"Believe it or not, Hank, a lot of guys are shy like you."
I found this hard to accept and looked at Buck doubtfully.
"Really," he assured me, "I was a shy kid myself. And then when puberty hit, all I could think about were all these crazy changes happenin' with my body. I was always wonderin' if I was developin' too late or too soon and if I was `normal' and all that."
"You remember going through that?" Buck continued, "Jeez, I do, like it was yesterday. We lived way out, and I didn't have many friends to compare with, so I'd try to spy on my dad to see what his was like but could never get a good look. And my dad was a good guy, but kinda quiet and serious and always busy with work. I'd try to get him to wrestle around or throw a ball in the backyard, but he was always in the middle of something."
"So, one day I got my folks to sign me up for swimming lessons at the Y in town, but mainly just so I could be around other guys and see how I compared. Most of `em were grown-ups, of course."
"Before and after gettin' in the pool, everybody was supposed to use the showers, and I spent a lotta time in there. I would just keep my swimsuit on, bein' shy, but a lotta the guys would take theirs off to rinse it out and I used to just wait to see which guy might. Some would just undo the drawstring and pull out the waist to let the water pour through and that would be that."
"But others would do that to start and then end up pullin' their suits off. I'd make like a game outa it, tryin' to guess which guy was gonna strip down all the way. It was amazin' to see how different every guy's equipment looked."
"And then one of the trainers there notices how long I'm takin' in the showers and then catches me spying on these two guys while they're trying on each other's swimsuit, and he waits with me until my dad comes to pick me up that day. I'm friggin' shakin' I'm so scared."
"My dad shows up, he's been doing yardwork and is wearin' his old sweats. The trainer guy asks to talk to him and brings us into his office and starts sayin' that while I'm a great kid and they like havin' me there and want me to keep comin', I seem awful curious in the locker room and while, sure, everybody gets a little curious now and then, he doesn't want me getting' into any `situations,' he says. Like, y'know, there's guys might take advantage of a boy's curiosity."
"And, he says, he's not sure why this boy's not getting' his curiosity satisfied at home with such a fine strappin' dad, and here he starts needlin' my dad a little sayin', `unless his dad is shy like a little girl or doesn't feel he has what it takes to be an example for a growing boy. I mean, if his dad's not up to it, I could take over the job...'"
"And my dad rises to the bait, stands up all offended and pulls his thin sweats up snug around the bulge in his crotch with one hand and with the other taps the bottom of his balls and says, "Don't you worry about his dad havin' enough to show `im! I'll make sure he learns all he needs to about becomin' a man!" and he pulls me outa there, steamin'." Buck chuckles a bit at this point in his story.
"On the way home, I'm afraid he's gonna be mad and start yellin', but actually, he starts apologizin', sayin' like, `Y'know ya grow up so fast it's easy to think you're still a little kid and I see now you're not. You're maturin', and ya need to learn about what it is to grow into manhood."
"We'll start when we get home. But from now on, you're to ask me about anything on your mind. You get a new hair on your dick, ya tell me. One of your balls drops a little lower, ya tell me. Understand? And tell ya what, after you help me in the yard, we can clean up together in the basement shower. How `bout that?'"
"So," Buck went on, "in about five minutes I went from the most scared I'd ever been to about the happiest I'd ever been. And from then on, he'd let me look all I wanted and explain anything I was curious about. Might sound weird, but to me it was fascinatin' and helped me get over bein' shy around other guys."
"And, y'know, it's a great feelin' to get over worrying about can anybody tell ya got a dick and balls and not givin a shit if they can. I mean, I'm not an exhibitionist like my boys are sometimes, but I sure as hell don't try to hide it."
"A lot of guys, I notice, they come into the store hemmin' and hawin' about what kinda swimsuit or shorts they're looking for until I suggest something with a more "manly" fit and then their face lights up. See, they been impressed by some guy at the beach or the gym or in a magazine and they want that look but don't exactly know how to describe it."
"Trust me, raisin' two boys, I read my share of what they call adolescent psychology'! I did a little research on the topic and learned a thing or two. My own Zacky, it was funny, he was fine hanging out naked with us until he hit puberty and then he got scared of being naked in front of anybody. Turned out my little Zacky needed to be what they call desensitized' to male nakedness."
"We had a talk about it, cuz I told him I missed him hittin' the showers and sauna with me and we came up with a plan: he would come down when the guys were here, but would keep something on, his swimsuit or underwear, whatever he wanted, but just to get used to being around other guys naked `til it no longer made him nervous."
"So, we started it and I could tell it was really helpin'. Y'know boys at that age, they're fascinated to see grown men's bodies cause they wanna know what they're gonna grow into and what the fully developed equipment looks like and all that. So, Zacky'd be down here, his eyes buggin' out, checking out all the guys. I'd explained to em what was going on and they were fine with it," Buck laughed, "some of em more than happy to serve as visual aids' for a lesson on male development."
"I asked Zack to help' down here as piss monitor.' I said we had some guys missin' the trough, bein' careless, and would he sit up on the ledge over it and keep an eye on the guys' aim when they used it. So that was kinda fun for him, and y'know the guys'd have a nice little conversation with him while they were takin' a piss right in front of him. It was good for him to learn to be relaxed in those situations."
"Then I asked him to be the towel boy and sit on that stool right there by the towel rack," he gestured in front of us, "so he's got the urinal on his right and the constant traffic of guys pissing just a few feet away and then guys standing in front of him naked, asking for a towel and they'd take it and stay right in front of him, drying their hair and kinda swingin' their meat inches away from his face."
I tried to imagine this in my mind, first as Zack with a parade of grown naked men in front of me, and then as one of the guys, parading naked in front of the boy, displaying my meat for him to check out. Both scenarios were kind of shocking yet for some reason kindled a warm feeling inside my belly. I asked if any of his buddies minded the situation.
"I'd told some of the guys about the plan," Buck explained, "and they were great about helpin', just bein' real nonchalant about letting Zacky get an eyeful. He loved being towel boy, still loves it to this day. It was a good way for him to see a wide range of shapes and sizes. I think it's good for a boy to get an idea of how much variation guys have, so he don't think he's weird."
"And that really helped him, you could tell. He'd start showering with the guys, at first in a swimsuit, then little by little in underwear that would get a little see through when wet and then this white swimsuit Mr. Bill had got him that turned completely see through and once he got used to that, it was an easy step."
"One day in the shower he just stripped off his suit and tossed it at one of the guys teasin' him and all the guys clapped and cheered. You could see little Zacky was bustin with pride, and as his dad, I was too."
Buck's gaze was far off in a happy memory, his face glowing. Then slowly, he returned to the moment at hand, and looked back at me. "Anyway, if ya wanted, we could try something like that with you. `Progressive desensitization' they call it. That is, if you take the room."
Now we had reached the looming question: would I take the room and stay here?
Buck started. "So, watcha thinkin'? I'll tell ya what I'm thinkin'. I think ya seem like a great kid with a lotta potential. I think you'd give me a lot less headaches than my own boys do. Ya got some sports background, ya know how to cook and clean, ya speak Spanish, ya gotta a job and I can tell you're not a bullshitter. I also think the guys'd really take to ya."
"But," and here his tone changed, "if being around naked guys and a lotta locker room horseplay is gonna make ya uncomfortable, and that shows, it's gonna make all the guys uncomfortable and that ruins the fun for everybody."
"I mean, I don't wanna put ya in any situation that makes you or anybody else feel awkward. Although I think we could help ya with that, kinda like we did for Zack. But that's if, and only if, you wanna try."
I agreed with Buck's assessment of the situation. This place was incredibly different than anything I'd ever known. Something about it really drew me to stay. In the past few hours, I'd felt more alive than I had in years, and somehow more hopeful. But the idea of staying here also scared the shit out of me, and I said as much to Buck.
"Well, you know what they say," he shrugged, "anything really important is gonna be at least a little scary."
With that Buck stood. "Tell ya what: ya got somewhere else to spend the night?"
I shook my head as I remembered that everything I owned was waiting outside in my car.
Buck threw his arm around my bare shoulders and started guiding me towards the stairs, the warmth of his body somehow comforting. "Well, it's too late to start lookin' for someplace else. You can spend the night here and we'll give it some more thought."
As we slowly worked our way up the stairs, Buck looked back towards the showers, recalling something. "And y'know," he added, "some of the guys here are like you, uncut, and nobody cares. Sure, there's good natured ribbin' on both sides, but that could be good for you to see."