Somewhere I Belong

By Sophie Reeves

Published on Jul 22, 2003

Gay

Disclaimer: I don't know any of the BSB nor do I mean to imply anything of their true sexualities. This is fiction

Somewhere I belong Chapter 2

AJ let himself into his room, praying that Howie wouldn't be there. Thankfully he wasn't. 'He must be with Kev somewhere' AJ thought. He dropped down on his bed and ran his hands through his hair, wondering what on earth was happening to him. Thinking about last night was already driving him insane. He sighed and got up to find some clean clothes to wear. While he was changing, his attention was suddenly diverted away from the topic of Brian when Howie opened the door. Howie's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Where the hell did you go last night? I was worried when I woke up this morning and you weren't there!" he said accusingly. AJ closed his eyes. "Don't start D I'm just not in the mood" "Yeah well, I wasn't in the mood either when I found your bed hadn't been slept in last night! Where the hell did you go?" "I went out" AJ lied. "And you went back to some guy's house right?" Howie shook his head. "Please tell me you used protection Aje" AJ nodded, but the truth was he couldn't remember, however it didn't matter. It wasn't like he had slept with some random stranger as usual. Brian was certainly not a random stranger. Howie seemed satisfied though. "Come on, it's breakfast time. You should see the state Nick's in! Apparantly he puked all over Kevin's bathroom floor when he got up" AJ grinned in spite of himself. 'So that's where Nick was' he thought. He followed Howie down the hall. Nick was sat at the table in Kevin's room looking green AJ smiled evily as a thought occured to him. He sneaked up behind Nick and gave him a resounding slap on the back. "MORNING NICKY!" He shouted into Nick's ear."How are you feeling today?" Nick winced and covered his ears in pain. "......bastard......." "He's not feeling so good" Kevin chipped in. "On account of the 10 pints of beer he drank last night" AJ looked at Nick almost in respect. "Wow Nick, that's one major hangover huh?" "...tell me about it" Nick moaned, resting his aching head on his arms. "So Aje how was your night? Where did you go?" Kevin asked.Howie had worried him when he told him AJ had disappeared. AJ shrugged, trying to appear nonchalent. "...I went somewhere else later on. I just got back" Kevin frowned, and was about to pursue it further before Nick moaned and jumped up, running in the direction of the bathroom. "Nicky you better not miss the bowl this time!" Kevin hollered as he followed Nick's retreating figure. AJ let out a pent up breath. He was lucky Nick had unwittingly provided a distraction. Still, Kevin wouldn't let it go without giving him a lecture on sexual promiscuity. If only he knew that the guy AJ slept with last night was his cousin, who incidentally hadn't shown his face. In a way AJ was glad. He wouldn't know what to say to Brian. The others would surely pick up on the tension between them. "So have you seen Bri this morning?" Howie asked casually as he bit into a piece of toast. AJ jumped. and shook his head. "N...no why?" He stuttered, cursing himself for being so on the edge. Howie looked at him strangely. "It's only Brian you know, are you afraid of him or something?" "No!" AJ cut back. "I haven't seen him yet" Howie arched an eyebrow "Chill out Aje, why are you so jumpy this morning?" AJ chewed his lip. ".....I'm just tired... travelling really takes it out of me" Howie choked on his bit of toast. "Somehow I don't think it's the travelling that got you tired" he said sarcastically. AJ gave a small smile, which he lost when Brian stepped into the room. AJ averted his eyes quickly. "Morning Bri, did you sleep well?" Howie asked. Brian looked troubled, he thought. "Uhh...yeah thanks D" Brian said softly as he sat down on the chair furthest away from AJ. AJ decided to change the subject. "So what are we doing today D?" Howie shrugged his shoulders. "Ask Kevin, he has all the details. I think it's a TV show, kids morning show you know the sort, then performance on MTV Scandinavia" "Where is Kev?" Brian spoke up. Howie smiled. "He's in the bathroom with Nick, Nick stayed here last night because he got too drunk and would have woken you up" Brian's eyes registered his surprise. Guiltily he realised he had been thinking about AJ so much he hadn't even noticed his best friend should have returned to their room last night "Is Brian there?" Kevin's voice sounded from down the hall. "Nick wants him". Brian stood up and left the table without a word. "God what has gotten into you two today?" Howie asked. "Usually he's bright and cheery once he's had a sleep" AJ shrugged "I don't know what you mean" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Two weeks later and the Backstreet Boys were now in Sweden, on the seond leg of their gruelling promotional tour. Brian and AJ had hardly spoken a word to each other and the others couldn't understand why. Brian and AJ denied there was something wrong but it was blatantly obvious something had happened. Whenever Brian walked in a room and AJ was there, one of them would make an excuse and walk out. Nick was hurt that his best friend wouldn't confide in him. Brian seemed so distant lately. Nick didn't know what was wrong. They had been in Sweden for almost a week now, and Brian hadn't wanted to leave his room. Except for interviews and work, he was always there. Nick was getting frustrated. "I'm sorry Nick I just don't feel like it" Nick sighed. "You never feel like it anymore Brian! You never go out anywhere, you just stay cooped up in your room. I'm worried about you Frick! We all are" he pleaded with his best friend. Brian closed his eyes. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He had been feeling sick and his stomach was killing him. "Look Nick, I'm not feeling well, please go without me. I don't wanna go when I'm feeling like this". Nick gave a deep breath of frustration. "Fine, go on feeling sorry for yourself in your room. Don't worry that you haven't spoken to anyone of us since the start of the tour, because we don't care! I'm getting sick of it Brian!" He stalked off down the hall. Brian frowned. He hated falling out with his best friend and he was sorry for neglecting him, but he didn't want to go out. He had been feeling really rundown lately and was getting headaches all the time. He really wasn't feeling well and told himself he should go and see a doctor. But he hadn't got round to doing it yet. Kevin had tried to approach him about Nathan a couple of weeks ago but Brian blew him off. Nathan had been pushed out of his mind the night he slept with AJ. Brian clenched his fists. He was so angry with AJ for treating him like one of the whores he slept with on a daily basis. Brian really thought that their night together had meant something but AJ obviously didn't. He couldn't get out of Brian's room fast enough that morning. He furrowed his brow while rubbing his stomach. He felt really bad, especially in that area. All he wanted to do was sleep. Thank God the management had managed to book five separate rooms, since he and Nick had had a bust-up. Nick was right. He did spend most of his time in his room, but only because it meant he didn't have to see AJ or speak to AJ. Brian sighed. Why was his life so complicated? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Nick stomped down the hall to Howie's room and burst in, not bothering to knock. He threw himself on Howie's bed and lay there staring at the ceiling. "Yeah Nick you can come in.." Howie said sarcastically. Nick didn't answer him. "What's wrong?" Howie asked, sensing Nick was upset. Nick scowled. "It's Brian" he said. "I asked him if he was coming out tonight and of course he said no. I asked him why he spent all his time in his room and he tried to fob me off telling me was sick. Why is he lying to me?" Nick's voice increased in pitch, telling Howie Nick was close to tears."I'm supposed to be his best friend Howie and he won't tell me anything!" "He won't tell Kevin either Nick" Howie said quietly. "Kevin doesn't know what's wrong with him". "I told him I was sick of it!" Nick cried. "I want my best friend back Howie!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Here Bri catch!" Kevin tossed Brian a water bottle. Brian was exhausted. Their choreographer Flynn had worked them hard today. Or so he thought. The others seemed fine. "You out of shape Frick?" Nick asked, jogging up to them. "Better cut down on that macaroni and cheese". Brian scowled. Never did he think he'd see the day where Nick Carter would give him diet tips. "I'm just fine thanks Nicky" he said through gritted teeth. The sooner this session was over, the sooner he could get back to the hotel. Back to his bed. "You better tidy yourself up Bri" Kevin observed "We've got that meet and greet sesh with fans afterwards" Brian groaned. He'd forgotten the meet and greets they were booked into that afternoon. Normally Brian loved going out, meeting the people who were responsible for making him and the others so sucessful. Not today however, he couldn't face it.. "Kev...I'm not feeling all that good, can't you go without me?" he pleaded with his cousin who frowned at him. "Brian you know we can't. The fans will turn up expecting you to be there as well. It's the least you can do" Brian sighed. His cousin wasn't giving him any sympathy today. "Please Kev, I really don't feel well" Kevin looked closely at his cousin. Brian looked worn out. Maybe just one time wouldn't matter. "Alright Bri, just go back to the hotel and get some sleep. Make sure you're well enough for tomorrow, because we're moving on, remember?" Brian nodded. Tomorrow they had an hour and a half flight into Munich airport, for the German leg of their tour. "Thanks Kev" he said gratefully. He put all his things away in his bag and started off towards the mini-bus that was waiting to take them back to the hotel to freshen up. Brian couldn't understand why he was feeling so lethargic. Sessions with Flynn didn't tire him out as much as today. He put it down to stress and the fact that he really hadn't been well the past week. "Hey Bri!" Howie said, waking Brian up from his train of thoughts. He looked up. Howie laughed. "Me and Nick are having bets on how many fans will ask him to marry them today. Care to join in? The winner if it isn't Nick gets Nick's playstation for a whole day!" "That won't happen" Nick said confidently. "I never lose a bet" "You never bet against me before that's why" Howie teased. "You usually bet AJ and he always loses" Heads turned to AJ who was sat in the opposite corner, trademark shades hiding his eyes, hat pulled down as far as it could go without covering his whole face. If Howie hadn't known better he would've sworn AJ was trying to hide himself from someone. But who? The only people in the bus were his fellow bandmates. Howie shook his head. AJ had been acting weirdly lately

by stophoeyeahdude@yahoo.co.uk


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