Disclaimer: I do not know, own, or have contact with nsync. I do not know if they are gay or straight. this is purely fiction. if you are too young don't read it. if you are offended by this content don't read it. get the drift? good.
Any question, comments, suggestions email me poofoo7997@yahoo.com
josh
OK so this part of the story switches from jc to Justin's point of view quite a bit so ill try to keep ya'll informed but I might forget.
Oh God what am I doing? He looks so scared. Just like that time he thought I was dead after a mob a teeny bopper girls surrounded me in New York. I so want to tell him, but there are too many what ifs floating out there. I mean what if he stops talking to me anymore. I couldn't stand that. Maybe he would just start beating on me saying how disgusting I am like my cousin did. Maybe I'll just tell him part of my story just a little to see how much it affects him and then decide how much more to tell him.
Great! Now I have taken too long to say anything and he is getting that annoyed `what do you want' look on his face. OK, Josh you need to get a grip on yourself. This is Justin your best friend forever. He will be there forever no matter what happens. "yeah just keep telling that to yourself. Maybe someday you will believe it," jc thought to himself chuckling.
"What's so funny? The fact that you claimed to have something really important to tell me and now you aren't saying anything?" He was trying to sound angry, but he was about to start laughing I could see it in his eyes. "Cause that ain't funny J"
"I'm sorry Justin. I was having one of them moments where you are talking to yourself about how you are going to approach a subject and I told myself I must be going crazy. I mean how many people put that much effort into thinking about how they are going to tell someone something." let me tell you now that when I get nervous I start rambling. "I mean why can't I just say it? That I'm bi and I love Lance. It can't be that hard can it?"
"What are you laughing at now Just? I didn't say anything funny." I didn't just stutter or anything did I? I didn't think so, but who knows.
"You really have no idea do you?" I just shook my head, I really didn't know. "Well for starters you were rambling about a million miles a minute and you inadvertently told me you are bi and loved Lance"
I took off at a flying leep. There was no way I was going to stay in the same room as him now. I didn't mean to tell him all that. Now he must think I'm stupid as well as hate me. I know I'll go hide out in the dark and pretend I'm somewhere else. It's not like there are many other places to hide on a bus. I am so stupid what the heck was I thinking? I wasn't that's the problem.
*****Justin's point of view
Ever since I met Josh there has been two things that have never changed no matter what. One, I am his best friend and always will be. Two, when he gets nervous he starts rambling and doesn't think everything through. Like right now he's rambling about talking to himself in his head like we all don't do that anyways. He's just the only one who actually thinks about it afterwards.
Whoa! He finally admitted to being bi and loving Lance. I bet he doesn't even realize he said that does he? Let's find out. This could be fun.
"What are you laughing at? I didn't say anything funny did I?
"You really have no idea do you?" He just shook his head like he always does when he gets caught rambling. "Well for starters you were rambling about a million miles a minute and you inadvertantly told me you are bi and loved Lance" Oh no he's running away now. Dammit why can't I ever do anything right? I was just trying to be funny so he wouldn't think I cared. I knew he liked Lance for a long time now, but I just thought he was gay. Oh well.
I knew it! I knew he would be hiding in the game room. It's the only room that is completely dark. Did he really think he could hide from me in a bus?
"Joshy. Why are you crying? There's no reason to cry." I wrapped my arms around him to try to assure him I didn't care about what he just told me, but he pushed me away sobbing louder.
"Justin, I can tell you don't want to be around me anymore so you can leave if you want. I'm just sorry that it has to end like this."
"You are making no sense at all now. I'm here. If I didn't care or like you now why would I have come to find you?" I was really starting to wonder if he really thought I didn't like him. "Quit pushing me away Josh. I'm your best friend I always will be no matter what." He stopped crying all of a sudden and stared at me.
"You mean that don't you?" I just nodded my head. "Just, I'm so sorry I didn't just tell you in the first place. Please forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive you about. You didn't do anything wrong. It takes alot to come out like you just did. I'm proud of you. I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to go into your closet and pull you out screaming" By this time both friends were laughing at themselves laying on the ground in the dark with tears drying to their faces.
*****jc's viewpoint
"Was I that openly blatant about it?" He just shook his head at me. "OK, so I nee dot work on the whole being secretive thing alright? Just get over it blondie!" It was good to see himl aughing at me. It was good to know that he didn't feel any different towards me.
"uh huh, yeah well it think most if not all of the other band members and crew know about your albino obsession." I still couldn't believe everything was going so smooth. I was praying that I wasn't dreaming and this really was happening. I found out. It was happening because t he chair I had been sitting in I just fell out of and it hurt like heck.
"D-D-does he know? I don't know what I would do if Lance knew I liked him. He is so religious and so is his family. He probably wouldn't ever talk to me again. I mean it took him three days to talk to me after he found out I drank, but that might have something to do with me puking all over him too." Why does he laugh so much?
"Josh you are rambling again. Shut up!" Geesh is he ever going to stop rambling when he gets nervous? "Joshy, I know what you're thinking. Lance isn't going to have a problem with this. He may be religous,b ut he is also not judgmental like that. He will realize that you are the same Josh as you were ten minutes before you told him."
"Are you sure Just" It came out as barely a whisper. I don't even know how he heard me at all. I could barely hear me.
"Yes. Trust me, after all he has been through and dealt with he want turn on you at all." Crap, I almost blabbed on Lance. I have to be more careful when i'm the one in the middle like this. I hope he doesn't catch on. Maybe his mind is still in ramble mode and he didn't hear me.
"All that he has dealt with? What do you mean?" Is there something about Lance I don't know? Someone better be telling me what's going on or I'll have to get evil on someone. Look at his face. He has that deer in the headlight look. There is something going on that I don't know about and I'm going to find out what it is.
"Ah..um..I mean all the little problems that he has had to deal with from his friends. That's all really what I meant." Crappage. I know he has figured it out now.
"Just! Is he or is he not?"
"Am I supposed to know all about this or something?" I was going to play dumb. I didn't want to rat out Lance, but I can't lie to my best friend. I have never lied to Josh and it's not going to start now.
"You act like it. Is he or no?" I was starting to get mad. Why after all these years is he starting to keep things from me?
"Is who what?" Our heads snapped back so hard we should have by all laws of nature snapped them off our necks. There was Joey and Lance staring at us with sleepy faces. I'm sure with us yelling like we were that we woke them up.
"Um..hey guys. I thought you were asleep by now? Or couldn't you sleep tonight?" The snickers from the two just set us off. "What's so damm funny all of a sudden?"
"Oh nothing," that deep southern voice was making me melt. Why did he do that to me? "Just that the last two or so sentences have been said in unison like you share a brain or something." He finally cracked and fell to the floor rolling in laughter, Joey not far behind him.
"OK, well if the two stooges are done now, I'm going to bed." I was finally getting tired and I didn't want to have to tell Josh about Lance. I was hoping he would drop it. Oh but there is no such good luck for me.
"But Just, you didn't answer my question!" Oh I so wanted to not have this conversation anymore. Fine he wanted an answer he will get one, but he better be able to figure out what I'm talking about.
"Ahhhh. Fine then. Yes! AJ is getting a new car." There, I didn't technically tell on Lance just kinda letting Josh assume what he wanted to think. That and I just can't say `yeah Lance is gay' with him standing right there.
What the crunk?! Hey, that's a Justin line what am I thinking? Too much talking in my head I'm starting to get a headache. Anyways, who cares if AJ is getting a new... "cool. He will have to take me for a ride in it," Lance the car-maniac yelled in the middle of my thought about him.... Oh I get it. that was a secret message type thing wasn't it? I guess he really couldn't say that infront of Lance could he? "Oh my God. That means Lance is!" oopps outloud bad.
"Means what?" dammit Joey and Lance need to quit interrupting my thought process. That's why being the `daddy' of the group stresses me out. I can never have a complete thought.
"Huh?" Oh no I was thinking outloud. How much did I say? "Uh nothing just that AJ will have to get a dealer's licensee if he keeps buying cars like he is. I'm going to bed now." With that I sprinted to my bunk and sat there listening to the rain from the storm beating on the bus. I wonder what I'm going to do now?
"Joey, do you think he just got my name mixed up with AJ's, or do you think they were talking about me?" He was kinda hurt that his two friends might have been chatting about him, but he wasn't sure they were.
"Nah, he just said your name because we just walked into the room in the middle of their conversation."
"yeah, probably. I've done that before with people. But I don't know, I have this feeling....