So here's my second attempt to write a story, and if I may say so myself, this one is even better than the last one! (Ronan's Exploits-go check it out!) There is far less sex in this one. Actually there is no sex at all in this installment, but I promise there will be some in the future. Oh, and by the way-this one is about Ronan too, of course...
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not imply that Ronan Keating from the boyband Boyzone is gay. If you're not supposed to be here, go away. If you're allowed to be here, enjoy!
Please send all comments, good or bad, to: jack_kea@hotmail.com
Something Else 16/1/2000 by Irda Majere
Part I
"I can't stay here anymore," Ronan thought as he looked at his home one last time. "I don't want to hurt them." Tears began welling up in his eyes when he realized that he would probably never see his family again. Toughening himself up, he quickly wiped away his tears before they began to fall.
"They wouldn't want me anyway, if they... if they knew." He sighed shakily. "This is best for everyone," he convinced himself as he picked up his rucksack, which was filled with clothes and a few other necessities and walked off into the night.
An hour later, Ronan was wandering around in downtown Dublin, more afraid than he'd ever been in his life. He had no idea where to go, and he was getting hungry.
But he was determined that he was not going back. He didn't feel like he belonged there anymore. Not after he found out that he was a freak of nature, a pervert that no one would ever want. The tears returned, and this time he couldn't hold back. Sitting down in a dark, abandoned alley the frightened fifteen-year-old started crying softly. Not only from fear, but also from loneliness. "They're better off without me," he thought to himself and before he knew it, the exhausted teenager drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Ronan was awakened by a dog licking his face. He sat up and patted the animal. It was a quite large, black dog with no collar but well kept fur. It had obviously been dumped by its owner quite recently, or maybe it had run away, like him. It stood there, waving its tail happily. "Hey, fella," Ronan said sleepily. The dog resumed licking his new friend's face, making Ronan laugh and gently push him away. "Ok, ok, I'm up!" He stood up, his aching bones complaining loudly. Ronan now knew that sleeping in an ally, especially in a seated position, was not a very good idea. Luckily, his rucksack was still there. He'd been afraid someone'd stolen it while he slept. He stepped out of the ally and looked around. The sky was cloudy like it was going to rain, but it wasn't too cold out. He set off in search for some food, and his canine admirer followed closely. Not minding the company at all, Ronan decided to name the dog Dimitri, 'cause he'd always wanted a dog called Dimitri, ever since he'd seen the name in some book at school. As he walked down the familiar streets of him hometown, Ronan started feeling much better than he had the night before. He felt free and independant. But he knew he had to leave his beloved Dublin, there was too much danger of his parents finding him here. Or the police. He knew his parents would eventually call the police and declare their youngest child missing. But he wasn't too worried. Kids who ran away from home were hardly ever found. "But where should I go?" he said to Dimitri as they ate a loaf of bread they had purchased in a bakery earlier that morning. They were sitting in a park, observing the people who passed by. Ronan thought for a minute before he said: "I'd like to go to London. You can probably blend in quite easily there, it's so big." Then he discovered that he didn't have enough money to get there, he barely had enough to buy food. Especially now he had a second mouth to feed. But the boy didn't even consider getting rid of the dog. He desperately needed the company. He decided that he'd worry about money later and started pondering where he could spend the night. Suddenly he noticed a bum sleeping on a bench near by. He had covered himself with newspapers in attempt to keep himself warm. "Of course!" Ronan exclaimed. "I'll sleep here in the park. It must be more comfortable than the alley." He spent the day just wandering around the park and eventually drifted out onto the busy streets. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry and no one spared him a second glance.
'Why should they?' Ronan thought. 'I look like a normal teenager to them.' He smiled grimly. 'Little do they know.' Eventually, night came and everyone went home and Ronan made his way to his new sleeping quarters: A bench in the less-travelled part of the park where he could get a bit of peace and where it was less likely he'd be noticed by thieves and cops. After a futile attempt to make himself comfortable, Ronan gave up. Even though he was tired, he wasn't exhausted enough to fall asleep in these appalling conditions. He decided he'd read a bit to make himself tired. He always nodded off when he read, at least if it were schoolbooks. He took out his book and a little flashlight he'd brought and began reading. He had been reading for about twenty minutes when he was so tired he could hardly see the words on the pages anymore. He put away his book, turned off his flashlight and a second after he lay down he fell into a deep sleep and dreamed...
"Oh, Ronan, we're so glad you're home!" his mother said for the thousandth time and gave him yet another hug. "I'm glad to be here, mom. I'm sorry I ran away, I just- I thought you wouldn't want me anymore." "Why shouldn't we want you anymore, son?" his father said. "Well, you see-" He faltered. Ronan took a deep breath before letting it out. "I'm gay." His parents' faces dropped. Their smiles quickly faded. "You freak!" his mother yelled at him. "Get out of my house, you-you devil spawn! You're no son of mine!" Ronan started crying uncontrollably, pleading for his parents to forgive him.
"I'm sorry!" he sobbed, "I don't want to be like this! I'll change, please! Just let me stay with you!"
Then he was on the street outside his house, crying and begging to be accepted, to be loved. But his parents didn't listen. They told him he was worthless and that he would burn in hell for his sins. At their words he fell down to his knees, accepting the fact that they didn't want him anymore. Through his sobs Ronan could hear his parents slam the door behind them.
But he heard the door open again. It was his brother, Gary. Ronan's face lightened up.
"Gary! Please tell them they're wrong! Please tell them I'm still their son!" But Gary wasn't listening. "You can take this with you!" he said menacingly. Then he threw something at his brother, and the object hit him in the head. Even though it had hit him quite hard, he felt no pain. Ronan looked down at the object. It was a framed picture, one he had always had on his bedside table.
Ronan woke up. He could feel tears running down his cheeks and he was shaking in the cold night air. He reached for his bag and with shaking hands searched for his flashlight and the cheap, silver frame he had had by his bed and stared at for hours on end. When he found it, he turned on the flashlight and gazed at the beautiful face he knew so well but had never seen. "George, " he sobbed. "I wish you were here. You would know the right thing to do." Still shaking, he reached down and kissed the picture. And as he drifted off to sleep, he still had the photo of George Michael in his grasp.
He was the first man Ronan had ever fancied. It was him who made Ronan realise he was gay. He'd been a fan of the singer since he was a child, but one day, a few months before he ran away, Ronan had seen George in a way he'd never seen him before. It had been this picture that started it. He had seen it in a magazine, and suddenly noticed how beautiful his idol was, and soon found himself fantasizing about beeing with him. Ronan wanted to touch him in a way he knew men shouldn't touch each other, and he knew his thoughts were wrong. They were sinful. But he couldn't help it, and soon he began thinking about the singer when he touched himself, imagining it was the older man who was pleasing him. With his mouth... One day, though, when he was in church with his family, he heard the vicar preaching about the sins of the flesh. He said that sins of the flesh which occured between two people of the same sex were the worst of all, that they were wrong and unnatural. And even though he could hear murmurs of disagreement from the congregation, Ronan believed every word. "I'm unnatural," he whispered softly to himself as he lay in his bed that same Sunday. "I will burn in hell for eternity, and I deserve it." Deciding he couldn't face his family with this horrible secret, he decided he'd run away. The next Wednesday he packed his little rucksack and set off into the night, without even a note to his family, who were absoloutely devastated to find their youngest son gone in the morning.
But as Ronan lay on the park bench, he did not realise the pain and worry he was causing his family. He imagined they had somehow found out he was gay before he left and were now glad he was gone, because then they didn't have to throw him out. Trying to forget the awful nightmare, Ronan got up and went to get some food. And of course, Dimitri was right on his heels.
It went on like that for a few days. Ronan spent his days wandering around Dublin, and at night he lay on his bench, trying to find a way to get to London and how he would get Dimitri there with him. He had grown so fond of the dog, he couldn't bare the thought of leaving him behind in Dublin.
So what do you think? I've already planned lots to happen, so if someone likes this, please tell me and I'll write more! E mail me at jack_kea@hotmail.com Also check out my other, more sexual Ronan story, Ronan's Exploits. I'll be adding to that one soon!