Somebody

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Somebody, Part three

By

Butters2020

Archie, age 16

Richard was saying his introductory stuff. I'd purposefully sat across from Sean in the circle so that I could look at him while I told my story. I wasn't sure how I felt about that kid. In some ways he reminded me of myself when I was his age: realizing I really was gay, that it wasn't a phase I might outgrow. Scared of telling people. But also, so fucking horny every time I saw a hot guy that I beat off three or four times a day.

I think last night was the first time he discovered his ass. God, that was hot. I remember the first time I did that. I didn't use my finger, though. I took a zucchini from the fridge and smeared butter all over it. At first I just rubbed it over my rosebud and then bit by bit eased it in. Not the whole thing, of course, but a good dick's worth.

Sean seemed to like how it felt when he played with his ass last night. I hate that he'd felt so bad and so lost that he tried to kill himself. I wish we'd known each other back then.

My thoughts were jerked back to the circle when Richard spoke my name. I glanced at Richard and then looked back at Sean who gave me a thumbs up.

"Okay. Um. I'm Archie. I'm here because I check out. Richard calls it disassociating. I did it twice. But in our one on ones, we worked out that I probably have done it a few times before. Maybe Lots of times." I didn't realize it but my eyes had been darting all around the circle, looking first at Richard, then Sheila and Sparkle and Bryce before finally settling on Sean and staying there.

"For you to understand I have to go back a couple years to when I first came out to my best friend Jonathan. He was the first person I told I'm gay. For a while he was the only one who knew." If I hadn't been looking at Sean I don't think I would have been able to say the next part. "When I, you know, masturbated and stuff, I thought about him sometimes. Not all the time, not back then. But sometimes. I never told him. I thought about other people too. Other guys at school, or from TV or the movies or whatever. But then he got a girlfriend. Margie. At first It was okay. It sucked that we didn't hang out as much as we used to, but it was okay, you know? But then he got to first base.

"He made it a point that me and him still went out once a month. We were at Pizza Shack. And he was all excited. And I asked why. But I don't remember what he said. Cuz I checked out. I mean one minute we're sitting at a table eating a pepperoni and olive pizza and the next minute he's poking me and asking me, 'isn't that great?' and grinning like they just announced finals were canceled. And my slice of pizza is stone cold. I said to him, 'wait, what happened?' and he said, 'I know, I hardly believe it myself, but I felt her tits!' and like an hour had passed but where did it go? He'd been talking to me for an hour about feeling up his girlfriend but I'd checked out.

"And that's when I knew I was jealous of Margie. Because I was in love with Jonathan. But he wasn't in love with me and never would be." I swallowed. I didn't want to keep going. I knew Sean kind of looked up to me and if I kept talking, he wouldn't, anymore. I turned to Richard. "Do I have to keep going?"

He nodded and said, "This works best when you're honest. No secrets."

I wanted to look anywhere but at Sean but there was no way I could keep talking if I looked at any of the others. I met Sean's eyes. "I turned into a stalker. When Jonathan and Margie went out I didn't follow them, but I'd go to where they were and just watch them. I'd pretend I was Margie. But sometimes when I was watching them, they'd like, disappear. One minute I'd be nine rows behind them at the eight o'clock movie and then they were gone and someone else was in their seat and it was the middle of the eleven o'clock showing of the movie.

"Or if I didn't know where they were going to be, I'd park down the street from Jonathan's house and wait for him to come home. That's all. Once he came home and went inside I'd drive home again. I didn't do this all the time. Just sometimes. Mostly I just stayed home in my room, thinking of him and jacking off.

"Once, when it was our weekend to hang out, I finally got the nerve to ask him if he ever wondered if he might be bi. He was real nice about it. He knew why I was asking. He said he was one hundred percent straight. Then he said, 'Archie, I can never be your boyfriend but I will always be your best friend. Nothing will change that.' He was trying to be nice." I made air quotes. "Nothing will change that. But I want it to change. I love him. And how does he know he's not bi? He won't even give me a chance!" I pointed to Sean's wrists. "A couple times I thought about doing what you did. But I was never brave enough." Sean rubbed the bandages on his wrists, the way he does when he's nervousing.

"Then came the talent show at school. Some kid sang this song called Somebody. I want somebody to care for me. I want somebody to know my intimate details. I want somebody to give me support. I want somebody to listen to me and hear me out, even when I sound perverted, and even when they disagree with me. I want somebody to help me see things in a different light.

"And like a pussy I started crying right there in the auditorium. Because the song was describing Jonathan. He's my Somebody. He's all those things. But the song also says I want somebody to love me passionately, who'll put their arms around me. He's my Somebody, but he'll never do that. So, I'm sitting there in the middle of the fucking talent show crying like a pussy and then my Somebody asks if I'm okay and I just checked out permanently. Because I'll never be okay. All the other times I checked out, it was just for a few minutes or an hour at most, but this time I didn't come back. They had to call an ambulance. It was two or three days before I came back and they had to use drugs to bring me back and I wish they'd just left me wherever the hell I was."

I wiped my eyes. "When I got home I stalked Jonathan again and he wasn't even on a date with Margie I don't think. Hell, I can't even remember. I parked down the street from his house but then I was gone again. I woke up in the hospital and then I was here. And now part of me is afraid I'll check out again and never come back and part of hopes I'll check out again and never come back. But the truth is, since I've been here I don't think I've checked out at all. Probably because of the meds I'm on. But I'm scared I might stop taking them. Especially when I leave here and go home and am around Jonathan again."

Richard said, "Does anyone have any feedback for Archie?"

Sparkle said, "I have a question that will make you mad. But answer it anyway because I can't give you my feedback until I know the answer."

"Okaaaaay." I wasn't sure I wanted to hear either her question or her feedback.

She said, "When you first came out, did anyone ask if you were sure you were gay? I don't mean people who don't count. I mean people who matter, like your parents. Didn't any of them ask if maybe you just hadn't met the right girl yet? Or say you were too young to know?"

I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. "My dad."

She said, "Well? Have you ever gone out with any girls?"

"No."

"Then how do you know he isn't right?"

"I don't have to date a girl to know I'm gay, okay. That's not how it works."

"Okay. Then here's my feedback. Jonathan doesn't have to try dating a boy to know he's straight. That's not how it works for him, either. No matter how much in love with him you are, I think you would be happier if you could forgive him for not being gay."

"What do you mean? I'm not mad at him for being straight!" But then I thought about it. I was mad at him for not giving us a chance. I'd just said it five minutes ago. Sparkle was looking at me with this look like she felt bad for me. Not cuz I'm gay but cuz I'm hurting. I had to look away.

Richard said, "Anyone else?"

Sean raised his hand. He was the only one in Group who did that. Everyone else just spoke up. Richard nodded at him. When Sean spoke, his voice was so low I had to strain to hear him.

"Three things," he said. "First, this wasn't brave," he held up his bandaged wrists. "Second, I think you still check out sometimes." Then he just sat there, looking at me, then looking at the floor, then looking at me, then the floor, back and forth.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore I said, "What's the third thing?"

He stopped the back and forth and looked at me but it still took him a minute to answer. When he did his voice was almost a whisper. He said, "I'm Somebody, too."

Sean, age 14

I can't believe I said that. Richard says it only works if we're honest but I don't think he was talking about admitting that I think about Archie the way he wants Jonathan to think about him. Especially since I don't think he feels the same way about me. But I don't want him to think that just because Jonathan doesn't like him that way, that nobody likes him that way. That it means he won't ever get to fall in love or be with someone. He didn't say it when he shared his story but I know he was halfway checking out when he was sucking off William and Lyle. He deserves to be checked in when he's with another guy.

And okay, maybe I want to be that other guy, and maybe I wanted him to know it. But Mostly I wanted him to know he won't be alone forever just because Jonathan doesn't want to be his boyfriend. And trust me, unless he's blind or something, if this Jonathan character was gay or bi, he'd definitely be into Archie.

Then I saw Richard giving me a look and I wished I'd waited until me and Archie were alone in the room to tell him that. But then I saw that Archie was also giving me a look. I rubbed the bandages on my wrists and decided the floor was the safest place to aim my eyes, since it wouldn't give me a look.

Other people gave Archie feedback and then Richard gave all of us homework: Name a time someone wanted us to change something about who we are, to make them happy. Did we do it? Why or why not? What was the result? I figured me and Archie already did that homework, but then Richard said that unless we actually did try to change our sexual orientation we couldn't pick that as our answer.

Then Group was over and we had an hour before lunch but when we were getting ready to go Richard said, "Sean, do you mind hanging back a bit?"

"Are we still being honest?" I asked.

"Always," he said.

I took a deep breath. "Yes. I mind. I'd rather leave."

Then he did that thing he does, where instead of saying, "Tough shit" he nodded with that wise look of his and said, "Why would you rather leave?"

"I'm afraid I won't like what you're going to tell me."

"I don't think you will. But I have to tell you, anyway."

"You can't tell me if I'm not here." I didn't run away, because I'm not a punk, but I started walking out of the room. But he just walked with me.

"I'm going to have to assign you and Archie new roommates."

"You can't! He needs me. Who'll take care of him when he's crying at night?"

"Sean, this is a no-touch facility. You have feelings for Archie. I'm pretty sure he has feelings for you, too, even if he isn't able to admit it to himself yet. It would be too easy for you two to . . . get intimate with each other, and that wouldn't be a good idea while you're emotionally fragile. You're both still vulnerable."

I didn't tell him that Archie had already been intimate with people but he read my mind.

"He's already been damaged by what Will and Lyle did to him."

I looked up at him. "You know about that?"

He nodded. "I wish you'd told me."

"I'm not a rat."

"No secrets Sean."

I didn't answer him. I was thinking about what he'd said. Will and Lyle did it to Archie. Not Archie did stuff to them, even though they never once touched him. Archie always sucked them off and then they left. I remembered the vacant look in his eyes and I knew what Richard meant. They WERE doing stuff to him, and I didn't say anything. Did that make me an accomplice? Was I part of the reason Archie cried at night?

"Did I make Archie worse by keeping it a secret?"

"You focus on making Sean better and let me worry about making Archie better. But starting tonight you'll be rooming with Bryce. That doesn't mean you have to stay away from Archie. He needs a friend, and I can't think of a better one than you."

"You have to tell him it's your idea," I insisted. "I just told him I'm Somebody. If I leave him after telling him that, he might check out again."

We walked in silence for a minute. Then Richard said, "You might be right. Maybe you just need a chaperone."

Archie, age 16

"Bryce is moving in?"

Richard said, "I think it's best. The room is set up for four people so you'll still have plenty of space." All I could think of was, will Sean still jack off every night with Bryce in the room? And if he does, will Bryce be a dick about it?

I said, "Listen, I don't think that's a good idea. It won't bother me, but it might stress out Sean. Bryce isn't exactly a gay friendly guy and Sean has already tried to hurt himself twice.... what are you smiling at?"

"You. Sean was worried about you. You're worried about Sean. You care about each other."

"He's my friend."

"Isn't Bryce your friend, too?"

"Not the same way. Sean's my roommate."

"And now Bryce is, too."

"You know what I mean. Anyway, Sean is different."

"How is Sean different?"

I got mad. "Don't do that psychiatrist shit on me. You know what I mean. He's only fourteen and new to being gay and he needs me, that's all."

"He's stronger than you think. The two of you can look after each other. The THREE of you can look after each other."

When I got back to our room Bryce was there putting his clothes in one of the two unused chest of drawers. Sheets were already on the third bed in the room. Sean sat at his desk chair watching him. I could see he was as happy about Bryce moving in as I was. Bryce was the only one who didn't seem to mind.

Sean said, "Your old roommates aren't going to miss you?"

" 'Course they will. But there were four of us in there. It was kinda cramped, to be honest. They'll be glad to have room to spread out. So, will I. Not gonna lie, when I was reassigned after I left this room I thought I was being punished when they put me with those guys. I mean you guys had a room to yourselves, just the two of you."

I said, "Yeah well, that was your idea, remember? Four straight guys in one room. Two gay guys in one room?"

Bryce grinned. "Yeah, yeah. Well now that you two have each other I figure I'm safe."

Sean averted his eyes and blushed. He said, "We don't have each other. Geez. You and Sheila got one track minds."

Bryce grabbed his crotch. "Hey after all this time, I'm horny enough I'd even let you guys give Bryce, Junior some relief. Just say the word."

I said, "The word is, NO. If Baby Bryce needs relief, that's why God gave you a right hand." This was so not going to work out. Bryce acted a lot different in Group than he was acting here. I didn't know which one was the real Bryce and which one he was fronting. I hoped he was putting on an act for our benefit.

Sean looked at his watch and said, "I've got Art Therapy." He didn't get up, like he didn't want to leave. "Don't either of you guys got something at two o'clock?"

I said, "Not me. I just finished my one on one with Richard. I'm free till four."

Bryce said, "I've got Breath Work, but not till two-thirty. Are you the room Den Mother or something?"

Sean looked back and forth from Bryce to me and back again before saying, "I'm going to see if I can get my sessions changed to two-thirty from now on. See you later." He left.

Bryce said, "I don't think he wants to leave us alone, Archie. What do you think?"

I think he's right. Cuz I don't want to leave Sean alone with Bryce, either. That guy nervouses me.

Sean, age 14

It was almost lights out. I was in my pajamas. Archie was in his boxers. Bryce wore briefs. I could see his dick outlined through them. I tried not to stare but the head of his dick was enormous. He wasn't hard but seriously it looks like a giant mushroom, bigger than the rest of his dick. I don't think Archie even noticed it. What kind of gay guy is he? Bryce caught me looking and smirked at me and made a big deal of covering his crotch with his hands. I jerked my eyes away and tried not to blush. At least I didn't have a boner.

I got out my journal and wrote in it some and then locked it in my desk drawer. I never locked the drawer before, I just put the journal in and shut it. But Bryce is the kind of guy who reads other people's journals. He said, "Dear Diary, I think Archie is so dreamy. Why can't I be the Somebody he sings about? Ex Oh, Ex Oh,"

"Shut up, Bryce," Archie said.

I said, "How come in Group you're all supportive, and stuff, but in here you're a jerk?"

He looked at me like I was a dope. "In Group, and in one on one, I say whatever Richard wants to hear."

I said, "Don't you want to get better? Don't you want to stop cutting? Therapy only works if you're honest. That's what Richard says."

"Richard can suck my dick. Unless one of you would rather do it. You don't get it, Sean. I'm not here to get better. I'm here because my parents stuck me here. As soon as I do my thirty days I'm out." He put on his robe and went down the hall to pee. As soon as he left I put the key to my desk drawer under my pillow.

"What a dick," Archie said.

"Should we tell Richard what he said? About faking it in Group and his one on ones?"

"He's not fooling Richard."

"He fooled me," I said. I remembered Bryce's feedback when I shared my story. Now I didn't feel safe sharing anything in Group in front of him. I rubbed the bandages on my wrists.

Hours later Archie's tearful whimpering woke me up. I looked over to Bryce's bed but it was empty. He was standing next to Archie. He saw me. "Does he do this every night?"

"No," I said. "Once or twice a week.

Bryce jabbed Arche in the arm. I wanted to tell him to stop but Bryce was a lot bigger than me. He jabbed him again. I said, "He won't wake up. Go back to bed. I can calm him down."

"I bet you can. Has he checked out? Like he talked about yesterday?" He picked up Archie's arm and dropped it. "Damn, he wasn't bullshitting. He's really gone." He turned to me and smirked. "I bet I could fuck him and he wouldn't know it. Have you ever tried it?"

"No! And you're not gonna try it, either."

"Who's going to stop me? You? You've been scoping out my dick all night. You won't stop me. You'll just watch and beat off." He pulled the sheet off Archie while I watched helplessly. He pulled down Archie's boxers. I felt bad for looking, but my eyes automatically went to Archie's dick. It lay across his pubes. His balls hung low in their sack. Bryce pulled down his briefs. He was already half hard. He jacked his dick, getting it up to a full boner. He turned to me. "If you even think of running for help I'll make you wish you'd succeeded with your dad's fishing knife and that broken coffee cup."

His dick was weird. While the rest of it got bigger and harder his big mushroom head pretty much stayed the same size, so when he was fully hard it was in proportion to the rest of his boner. He spit on it and then started to climb into bed with Archie. "NO!" I screamed. I leapt out of bed and ran over to him and jumped on him, knocking him off balance.

He was staggered but didn't fall. He shoved me, hard enough to push back onto my bed. He faced me, his dick harder than it had been a few seconds ago, like he got off on pushing me. His smile was the meanest smile I'd ever seen. "You've convinced me, Sean. Your boyfriend is safe. I think I'd rather fuck your little ass anyway. I bet it's even tighter."

"You stay away from me," I said, but my voice was shaking.

"There's no witnesses. Archie here can't testify to anything. He's gone fishin'. Who is Richard going to believe? Hard working, Bryce, who supports everyone in Group? Or Jealous little Sean who never wanted anyone busting in on his happy home, and would say anything to get rid of the new roommate?" I couldn't stop staring at how hard his dick was. I got out of bed again and tried to run for the door but I only made it two steps before he grabbed my arm and thew me back onto the bed. "I don't know why you're fighting this. You're a fag, aren't you?" He gave his dick a couple of strokes. "This is going to happen. So, stop resisting and enjoy it. You might like it. Hell, you'll probably love it."

He pushed me down onto the bed and pulled off my pajama bottoms. I started crying. "Please don't. Please." He ignored me and spit on his boner again. I crossed my legs, putting my left ankle over my right, trying to lock them in place. He shoved his knee between my legs wrenching them apart. It felt like he broke my ankle and I cried out.

"Shut up!" he yelled, putting his palm over my mouth. I was sobbing now, terrified, wishing I could check out like Archie.

Archie, age 16

"You stay away from me."

That was Sean's voice but what was Sean's voice doing in the void? Nothing existed here, but me, and I wasn't sure how I existed here since "here" wasn't a place. But that was definitely Sean and he sounded scared.

Now he's crying. I struggled to see him but there's nothing to see here. Because "here" isn't a place. There's nothing to see. There's never been anything to hear either, not until now.

"Please don't. Please." He isn't just scared. He's terrified. The void began to clear, like fog being blown away by a fan. Or more like fog being blown IN by a fan and I could barely make out images through the mist. Shadowy shapes...people. One of them holding another one down on a bed. The one on top did something to the one on the bottom, who cried out in pain. That cleared the fog. Bryce was on top of Sean, forcing his legs apart. Sean's pajamas had been pulled off of him. Bryce was naked and hard. That fucker. Neither of them noticed that I was awake. I got out of bed and grabbed the lamp off my desk, yanking the cord from the wall.

Sean, age 14

I felt Bryce's dick pushing at my butt and I screamed against his palm. Then Bryce was the one yelling, and he was holding the side of his head.

Arche stood next to my bed, holding his desk lamp. He swung it against Bryce again. Arche said, "Get off him or I'll kill you." Bryce was still holding the side of his head so when Archie hit him the second time the lamp hit Bryce's hand instead of his ear.

"Okay!" Bryce yelled. He rolled off of me and onto the floor. Archie pushed the nurse's call bell on the wall but never took his eyes off Bryce.

After a few seconds a voice came over the intercom. "Can I help you?"

Archie said, "Help us! Bryce tried to rape Archie." There was no answer. "Hello? Did you hear me?" Three seconds later two orderlies busted into the room.

They saw Bryce on the floor, naked, still with a boner, and me in bed crying with my pajamas pulled down and Archie standing over Bryce with the lamp in his hand. It was easy to figure out what happened, but I told them anyway, starting with Archie's checked out dream. Bryce denied everything but Archie said he woke up and saw me crying and begging Bryce to stop and Bryce saying no one would believe me and him yanking my PJs down. Which reminded me that they were still down. I pulled them up.

They took Bryce away.

I said, "I don't get it. I thought you were checked out. Gone.

"I was. But I heard you calling for help, and it led me back." I didn't know what to say to that. He said, "Are you okay, Sean?"

I nodded. Then he nodded. Then, even though Bryce was gone and I was safe, I started crying again. Archie dropped the lamp and held me. I was still crying and he was still hugging me when Richard came in, looking half asleep.

Archie, age 16

Richard met first with both of us together, then with just Sean and then with just me. When he met with me all I wanted to know was, is Sean okay? Was I able to stop Bryce in time? That's when I found out that not only had I stopped Bryce in time from raping Sean, but Sean had stopped Bryce from raping me.

"You're telling me he took on Bryce? Bryce is like twice his size! I needed a weapon to take him on."

"I told you before, Sean is tougher than you think. And he had something worth fighting for. It took a lot of guts for him to tell you he's Somebody. But what he didn't' tell you, is he thinks of you as Somebody. HIS Somebody. But I think you know that already. That's why I wanted you to have a third roommate. To keep anything from happening between you two. Not that I don't think you two are a good match, but the timing isn't right. Not while each of you are working on your stuff."

"You picked a helluva chaperone for us," I said.

He grimaced. "Don't remind me. I knew Bryce was faking his way through Group. I can't discuss his one on one sessions. But I thought he'd be, well, a cold shower for you and Sean. I never dreamed he was a predator. I should have seen that in him. I'm sorry, Archie."

"What's going to happen to him?"

"He's been kicked out of the program, of course. Nurse Rachel called the police. Whether he's prosecuted or not, is up to you and Sean."

"You're not going to split us up, are you? He needs me."

He shook his head. "No. But you're getting a new roommate. Brand new. He's checking in tomorrow." He looked at his watch. "I mean today. He won't be a cardinal. Y'all are leaving Heritage in a week or so. We're waiting for the rest of his group to get here. His name's David."

I thought about what Richard said about Sean. Could he be somebody, too? I did leave the void when he was in danger. Twenty-four hours ago, I would have thought that Jonathan was the only person I'd do that for. Did Sean really think of me as HIS somebody? I mean he's cute, but lots of people are cute and I never thought of them as someone I wanted to share my innermost thoughts with.

I laughed. I already share my innermost thoughts with Sean. And not just in Group. When it's just the two of us. He gives me supports and listens to me. Even when he found out I was basically stalking Jonathan he didn't abandon me. And It's not just the stuff he does for me. I came back from the void for him.

I care about him.

Passionately.

Cuz, who am I kidding, when I perv on him when he jacks off at night, it gives me a blue-vein- throbber. He came into the room after his Breath Work session and for the first time I felt shy around him. Jesus, which one of us is the fourteen-year-old?

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said, and I swear to God, I grinned like a little girl. Thankfully the door opened and Richard was there with a kid a little younger than me and a little older than Sean.

"Guys, this is David. David, this is Archie and Sean. I'm sure they'll be happy to answer any questions you didn't feel comfortable asking me. I'll see you later this afternoon." David plopped his luggage onto his bed and gave each of us an uncertain look.

"Uh, hi."

I said, "Welcome to the island of misfit toys. I'm Archie. Dissociative Disorder."

Sean said, "Sean. Double suicide attempt."

David was obviously nervousing. I said, "You don't have to say if you don't want to, but we know you aren't here for summer camp."

He said, "What the hell. David. Eating disorder."

Sean said, "Oh my god, and they sent you to the facility with the worst food in the state? Are they trying to make you worse?" David and I both laughed. I wasn't feeling shy anymore. I was feeling, I don't know, somebodied. Not just somebodied but somebodied to Sean. We told David about the daily routine and the different therapies he'd be going to every day, art therapy, and breath work and one on one with Richard, and his own group, and walking the labyrinth and journaling.

He asked how long we'd been here and did we like it and if was helping us. We were both emphatic that it had already helped us a lot, which was weird considering what had happened last night. I didn't realize when he'd done it, but Sean was holding my hand. David said, "Are you guys boyfriends or something?"

Sean took his hand away.

I took it back. I said, "We're Or Something right now."

"That's cool," David said. "My aunt's a lesbian."

This no-touch thing is going to make the next week and a half the longest ten days of my life.

Sean, age 14

The last ten days were the longest week and half of my life, even though a lot happened. Archie stopped checking out in his sleep. I asked him if that meant he wasn't fucked up anymore. He said he maybe wasn't fucked up but he was still blowjobbed up and David laughed and said that was a funny way of saying he was getting better but still not cured.

At one of my last one-on-ones Richard said that neither my parents or my aunt wanted me back as long as I was still gay. He explained to them that I would always be gay but they refuse to believe I'm not choosing it. He said they still loved me, they were just confused. Yeah, right. They love me, they just don't want me. Their own kid. I didn't do a good job of pretending it didn't bother me. He said that when I left Heritage I'd be moving in with a foster family, which sucks, but it's better than being homeless I guess. I met them my last week here. They seemed nice. At least they don't care that I'm gay. They said their first foster son was gay, but he's grown now and living with his husband. They brought their other kids with them to meet me. They have a ton of kids. Half of them are theirs and half are other foster kids. I'll be going to public school, not Catholic school. I forgot to ask if it's the same school Archie goes to. That would be good. But that would mean going to the same school Jonathan goes to. I'm worried that when he sees Jonathan again he'll forget about me. And he might start checking out again. When I told Richard that, he told me to stop worrying about Archie's prognosis and to focus on mine. I try, but it's not easy.

Our last week at Heritage we got a fourth roommate, but I think they just did that so David wouldn't feel abandoned and shit when me and Archie leave. Him and Mikey will have the room to themselves then. Me and Archie let David show Mikey around since it will be just the two of them in five days. So, the room had two cardinals, a finch, and with Mikey, a mockingbird.

There was a little graduation ceremony in Group for all of us. We had to go around and share our goals and fears for life outside of Heritage, and how we planned to cope with the fears, and how we planned to work toward the goals. My goal was to die of natural causes. My fear was that my family would never accept me. I said my plan for reaching my goal was, if I ever feel like hurting myself again, I'll call someone first. And my coping strategy for my fear was to try to learn to say Fuck them, but I didn't know if that was the right thing to do. Richard said it was one way to deal with it, but there were others, and it was up to me to determine the right one. Me and him will still do our one-on-ones every week so that might be one of the things we work on.

Archie, age 16

"My fear is that I'll forget," I said when it was my turn.

"What are you afraid you'll forget?" Richard asked.

"That I'm somebody." Sean grinned at me and blushed. His bandages were gone. He rubbed the scars on his wrists. I said, "That it's okay to like someone. That it's okay if they don't like me in the same way. But mostly I'm afraid I'll forget that I'm somebody." I swallowed. "I'm not really comfortable sharing my goal. It's private."

Sean, Richard, Sheila and Sparkle all said at the same time, "It works best when you're honest. No secrets." Everyone laughed, including me.

"Okay, okay," I said, giving in. "But I'm not mentioning names. My goal isn't big and lofty like the rest of yours. But it's a goal I never would have had if I hadn't been here, so I think it counts. My goal is to ask someone out. Someone who's not straight this time." Richard smiled. Sean blushed. The girls made Oooooh! noises.

Richard said, "And your strategy for attaining your goal?"

"Get his digits."

Which is what I did. We weren't allowed our phones in Heritage. Sean left a couple of hours before I did. He got his phone back when he was packing his bag. I gave him my number. "Text me okay? So, I'll have your number, too." He promised he would.

His foster parents were waiting for him in the hallway. He looked over his shoulder at them and then whispered to me, "I'm scared, Archie."

"Richard wouldn't send you with them if they weren't okay. And if they aren't, call me. I'll come get you."

"Promise?"

"Hey, I came from the Void to save you. Coming from Chestnut Drive will be cake." We hugged goodbye.

An hour later Richard brought me my phone and said my parents were waiting for me at Reception. The first thing I did was check my messages. There were like a hundred from Jonathan. I'd read them later. First I read the one from Sean: "I KNOW YOU WATCHED ME JACKING OFF. IT MADE ME CUM SO HARD." Great. I was gonna meet my parents with a freaking hardon.

Jonathan, age 16

I'd been waiting outside the Moore's house for nearly an hour. Finally, I saw their SUV pull up. Archie was barely out of the back seat when I tackled him in a bear hug. He hugged me back, just as hard. When we let go we grinned at each other like a couple of halfwits. I said, "You okay? I've been calling your folks every day for updates."

He nodded. "I'm good. How are you?"

I couldn't help laughing. "Oh, I'm great. 'Course, I haven't been in the loony bin for the last month." I picked up his bag and we walked inside. "Your mom told me what happened with that guy. You sure you're okay?'

He said, "Yeah. My roommate stopped him before he could do anything to me. Can I help it if he has better taste in guys than you do?"

I looked at him from head to toe. "Meh. He must have been desperate after being cooped up in there for so long. Seriously, though, I'm glad your roommate was there."

"Me, too," he said. "He's a good guy. You'll like him."

"Am I gonna meet him?"

"I hope so."

We were in his room. I dropped the bag on his bed. I said, "Your mom has this big welcome home dinner planned for you tonight. She invited me, but I understand if you want it to be just family."

"Shut up. You are family."

Yeah, that made me smile. I said, "You wanna go to the Shack tomorrow? Get a pizza? Margie knows you were coming home today so she's kind of expecting me to be hanging out with you this weekend."

"Can I let you know? I might have plans."

"Oh. Okay. You sure you're okay, Archie?"

He looked me in the eye. "I'm sure. I'm not dissing you. I really might have plans." He smiled shyly. "A date."

"Oh?"

"Anyway. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Pizza Shack isn't going anywhere."

"Not for that. For the last couple years." I raised one eyebrow at him, something he can't do, which means, what the hell are you talking about. He said, "For being mad at you for being straight."

"Dude. Stop being weird. Apology accepted. Now tell me about this mystery man. Or tell me about the loony bin. Or tell me how you were mad at me for the last couple tears and I never knew it. Or tell me to go to hell and it's none of my business why you were mad. I don't care what you tell me, I'm just glad you're home."

Sean, age 14

All I know about foster parents is what I've seen on TV: they're abusive and only in it for the money they get from the state, which they use to buy drugs. So even though I met Ellen and Bruce and their kids at Heritage, I was nervousing bad when they picked me up and drove me to their house. But they aren't anything like the foster parents on TV. They're really nice. The other kids here swear it's not an act.

The other kids all wanted to see the scars on my wrists. Lexie, who I guess I should think of as my foster sister, says that Marshall has tons more scars than me. I looked around at the other kids. "Which one is he?" I asked her.

"He's not here. He was Bruce and Ellen's first foster. He didn't make his own scars. His real dad gave them to him. He's in jail now."

"Marshall?"

"No, dummy, Marshall's dad. He jumped Marshall on the way home from school and stabbed him."

"Damn."

"It was payback for when Marshall stabbed him when he beat up Ellen and tried to kidnap Marshall. I think. They don't really talk about it. But we read about it online."

"Damn," I said again. I couldn't picture my parents trying to kidnap me back from Bruce and Ellen. They'll never want me back, not as long as I like boys, which means forever. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and took it out. WANNA HANG OUT 2MORO? I OWE YOU A BONER FOR THE ONE YOU GAVE ME YESTERDAY.

Lexie said, "I only smile like that when I get a text from my boyfriend." She tried to lean over and read the message but I put the phone back in my pocket. She said, "Is that who it's from?"

"It's from my Or Something. You think Bruce and Ellen will let me go out tomorrow? I know I just got here. I don't know if I'm on probation or something. I don't know the rules."

"Depends on who you're going with and where you're going. Ask them."

Ellen said, "We know who Archie is, Sean. We know about Bryce, too. It's fine if you and Archie go on a date tomorrow, as long as we meet him, first."

"I don't know if it's a date," I said, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt.

Bruce said, "It's fine if you go out with your friend, as long as we meet him first. How's that?"

"Thanks," I said, because I didn't know what else to say. I started to go.

"Sean?" Ellen said. I turned around. "From the bottom of our hearts we hope that your parents see the light and welcome you back home. But until they do, regardless of how long it takes, everyone here accepts you as you are. We're not going to try to replace your parents, but we're happy and honored to be your family. This is your home as long as you need one. Okay?"

I couldn't answer. I just nodded and left before I pussed out.

Archie, age 16

"After that, I think I can survive any job interview in the world," I told Sean. I was driving us to Splash Mountain after meeting his foster parents. Actually, it wasn't that bad, but I nervoused something awful during the Q&A.

"They like you," he said. "I can tell. Bruce went to my house---well, my old house---to get my bathing suit and some more of my clothes and stuff." He blushed which always made him look cute. "I've never been to Splash Mountain. When they found out that's where we were going, they gave me money to pay for it, plus money for pizza after. I told them you said it was your treat but they said Don't be silly, you could treat for something less expensive."

"Is it okay that we're meeting up with Jonathan for pizza after Splash Mountain? He insists on meeting you."

He gave me the side eye. "Oh yeah? How come?"

"Eh, I might have mentioned you once or twice or fifty times. I did NOT tell him I owe you a boner, though."

Sean said, "Unless you're going to jack off in bed and project the image into my mind somehow, good luck paying that back."

We paid our admission at the water park. I've been here a million times, either on field trips with school, or with Jonathan. I led Sean to the locker room. We rented a locker to share and put our street clothes in it. While Sean was still taking off his jeans I called his name. When he looked over at me I was totally naked. I grabbed my cock and waggled it at him. "What do you think? Should I wear it up or down?"

His eyes grew huge. "I think you don't owe me a boner anymore," he said, after making sure no one was close enough to hear him.

I gave him my perv grin and pulled on my trunks. "It'll be hard to hide a hardon in your swimsuit."

He pulled down his jeans and undies and I could see he wasn't lying. His hard cock stuck straight out. All the times I saw it before, he was lying down. It was hot seeing it sticking out and I nearly got a boner myself. He pulled his trunks on looked down at his obvious bulge. "See?" I said. "Boner Boy, that's you."

He wrapped his towel around himself and marched out of the locker room like he was the Lord High Hottentot, and boners were the required accessory of the day. I chased after him.

We spent a few hours going down the different water slides and drifting down the Lazy River on inner tubes and riding the rapids in the plastic log thing where they snap your picture when you drop down the mini-waterfall. We did that one twice, so each of us could buy a copy of the souvenir photo and it turns out the photo is digital and we could each have bought copies of it. So, I bought a copy of both of them and so did he. Our hands were raised in the air in the second one. We were holding onto the safety bar in the first one.

Sean was staring at the one where our arms were in the air. He looked up at me and said in a low voice, "Don't look, but you've given me another one." Of course, I looked. Swimsuits really are the worst for hiding boners especially when they're wet.

I looked at the photo he was looking at. "How come?" I asked. "If I got a dick slip it's not showing in the picture."

He was suddenly nervousing. "You'll think I'm a perv," he said.

I remembered that one line from the song. 'Though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted, She'll hear me out and won't easily be converted.' I put my hand on his bare shoulder. "No, I won't, Sean. I promise." I grinned at him. "I might think you're kinky, but hey, how do you know I don't like kinky?"

He tried to meet my eyes but looked at the photo instead. "I just think you're hot, that's all."

"No secrets," I said. Then I rewrote Richard's favorite phrase. "Relationships work best if we're honest."

He looked up at me then, in surprise, but then a smile flashed across his face for an instant. "Remember, you promised not to think I'm a perv. You got sexy armpits. I like your hairs." His face turned so red I thought for a second it was the world's fastest sunburn. Damn, he's cute when he blushes.

I lifted up my arm and checked out my pit. All I had were a few stragglers. "These things? Jesus you'll cum in your pants if you ever see Jonathan's pits. He's a freaking ape."

"I like YOURS," he said firmly.

We headed to the locker room. "What else do you like?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"You seemed to like rubbing your butthole that night."

Some kid walking toward us laughed and pointed at Sean, "Nice boner!" he yelled.

"Thanks!" Sean yelled back. "I got it from looking at your mom!"

The lady next to the kid elbowed the man walking by her side. "Hear that, Ed? And he doesn't need a damn pill first."

"She's all yours, kid," Ed told Sean.

When we got to the locker room I got our stuff from the locker but instead of handing Sean his clothes I took them into one of the Family Changing Rooms. He followed me inside. I closed the door and locked it. "More private here," I said. "Unless you want everyone out there to see your hardon without the trunks covering it up."

"Who says I want YOU seeing it without the swimsuit covering it up?" he said.

"I've already seen it, Mr. Wanker."

He looked down at his crotch. "Well, you won't be seeing much now. It's only half hard, thanks to Ed's wife."

"I bet I can fix that," I said. I grabbed his hand and manipulated his fingers until his pointer finger was extended. I held his fist with the finger still pointing out, then lifted up my other arm and took his finger and put it against my side, running it along my skin, up to my armpit, letting his finger go through my underarm hairs. He made a little noise. "Your hardon's back," I said. He pulled his hand away from mine and ran his fingers through my pit hairs again.

Sean stared at my armpit, then at my chest, which to be honest wasn't really that great of a chest. I'm basically a scarecrow. He seemed to like it, though. He ran his fingers softly over my tits. I concentrated on breathing. He said, "Your nipples have goose pimples." He blew on them and then licked one of them. He wasn't the only one who was hard now. "Archie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Instead of saying anything I put my arms around him and tilted my head down. I'd never kissed anyone before and silently congratulated myself for not smashing our noses together. I thought we'd have to figure it out, but nope. Turns out kissing came pretty natural to us. Both of us wasted no time in opening our mouths and introducing tongues to the process. That brought kissing to a whole new level. I mean I've kissed my mom and grandma before, and even my Aunt Tessie kisses me on the lips but that's just a peck. Kissing Sean sent a rush right to my cock, which was already hard before our lips made contact.

I held him closer to me, wanting to somehow merge our two bodies together. This mashed my dick against his belly and mashed his dick against my thigh and I wished we were the same height so that our dicks were mashed against each other. That didn't stop us from humping against each other. He put his hand on my ass and pulled me even tighter against him.

We were both moaning. I loved the feel of his bare skin against my chest, but I wanted more. I flashed back to Greasy Hair and Blondie. That was mechanical. I was just a cum receptacle for them. I had to blot that out, erase it. I gave Sean a final kiss and pulled away from him. "I need to suck your cock," I said.

"Only if I can suck yours, too," he replied.

"Later. I need this," I said. I sat on the little changing bench in the room and pulled Sean in front of me. I pulled his trunks down and the boner I'd watched him jacking so many times sprung up in front of me. "Jesus, you're beautiful," I said. I meant it. Not even the scars on his dick from the electrodes at that hellhole his parents took him could mar the beauty of his penis.

"Shut up," he said.

"Okay," I said and sucked his cock into my mouth.

"Oh, God," he said. "Oh Archie." I didn't do anything fancy at first I just sucked his dick, bobbing my head on it, letting it slide in and out of my mouth, coating it with spit, while he kept saying oh god oh jesus, oh man, and oh everything else he could think of. Then I starting using my tongue on the head of his dick while I sucked him. He stopped using words, but kept making noises. He put his hands in my hair, not pulling it, just kind of holding on. I let him get used to my tongue on his dick while I sucked him, then I used my hand to jack him at the same time. He got a lot louder then and let go of my hair to bite his hand, trying to muffle his noises. Anyone in the Family Changing Room next door had to know what was going on in here. When he had just started to get used to being jacked while he was getting blown, I used my other hand to play with his little nutsack, too.

I wished I had a third hand because I knew he liked having his ass played with. I was about to leave his nuts to give his ass some attention when he shoved his cock into my face and growled like a dog and his watery boycum shot onto the back of my tongue. I grabbed both his ass cheeks and squeezed and his cock squirted more cum in my mouth. My own cock was harder than it had ever been. I hadn't jacked off since I'd been home, and I hadn't jacked off once at Heritage. I don't know how I kept from blowing a load right then. Sean's jizz was the sweetest thing I'd ever tasted. I sucked harder, trying to get every drop while a third squirt, not as strong as the first two, landed on my tongue. Then he pulled away saying, "No more! Enough!"

I whimpered. He may have had enough but I hadn't.

"Holy shit," he panted. "There's no way I can make you feel that good." He put his hand to the scar on his wrist and I thought he was going to rub it like he always did at Heritage but he was taking his pulse which made me laugh. "Shut up," he said. "I think you gave me a heart attack."

I reached for my hardon but he grabbed my hand and said, "No you don't."

"Dude, have pity. I haven't cum in five weeks."

"Your first cum is mine. You promised." He hesitated. "I know I said I'd blow you..."

"You don't have to," I said, and reached for my cock again.

He slapped my hand. "Will you stop that? I can't wait to suck your dick! It's just..."

"What?" I said.

He blushed. "I want to ride it first. Can I?"

"Sean, I won't last long. You won't have time to enjoy it."

"How many times do I have to say shut up before you shut up?" He reached into his duffle and took out some sunscreen. He squirted some on his fingers and rubbed then together. He tossed the sunscreen aside and reached into the duffle again and took out a tube of lotion. He squirted some of that on his fingers and rubbed them together and smiled.

I said, "If you rub that on my cock I'll jizz for sure."

He squirted a big gob onto my hand. "Then put it up my ass."

Damn he was a kinky kid. He was already leaning over, spreading his cheeks. I dipped my finger into the palm of my hand, scooping up some of the lotion. I rubbed it over his hole, which winked at me. He moaned. He had such a sexy moan. It was weird, when he talked he sounded like a tween, but when he moaned it was higher pitched---he sounded more like a boy. I pushed my finger against his ass until it slid inside him. He moaned louder, then said, "This is what I thought of when I jacked off while you watched me: you doing this. Only with your boner."

"That's next, Cowboy."

"Wut?"

"You're gonna ride my pony aren't you?"

"Shut up, Kraft."

"Wut?" I said.

"You're the cheesiest. Now put your dick in me already!"

I made sure his ass was good and lubed and then pulled him back to me. I was still sitting on the bench. I thought he'd just sit on me but he turned around so he was facing me. "Help me on," he said. I held onto him while he climbed onto the bench and straddled me. He put one hand on my shoulder and reached under him with his other hand until he found my cock. Then he lowered himself onto me and oh my god.

Oh.

My.

God.

There's no way to describe the feeling. His ass just swallowed my cock. It gripped it from head to root. When it was all the way inside him, he put his legs on either side of me instead of supporting his weight with them. I don't know how it didn't hurt him but one look at his face told me he loved it as much as I did. And if his face didn't tell me, his cock sure did. It was throbbing again.

"Don't move," I said. "I'm so close to cumming and I don't want this to be over yet."

We sat there for a few seconds, his ass gripping my cock. My cock filling his ass. Then we both said at the same time, "You're my Somebody," and we kissed each other. We were still kissing when he raised himself a little bit, then lowered himself again. Oh, fucking christ, the way his guts rubbed the head of my cock. I wrapped my arms around him and he did it again,

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Fucking me. I don't know how I lasted as long as I did, but it wasn't long. Less than two minutes after he started fucking me I said, "Sean, I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"Do it," he said. And started really fucking me. Riding me faster.

"Oh god," I groaned and five weeks' worth of jiz exploded out of my balls inside of him. Again and again, spurt after spurt until I felt it dribbling out of his ass and over my balls and then he was jacking his cock and cumming again.

While we got dressed I said, "I like 'Pony'. That's what you should call me from now on. Right, Cowboy?"

"Nope. First, if we call each other Pony and Cowboy everyone will know why, including Ellen and Bruce and I don't care how cool they are, that will be the end of us hanging out. Plus, I like calling you Kraft. It has a nice ring to it."

I said, "Come to think of it, there's nothing wrong with 'Sean' and 'Archie.'"

"No, no, I think I like Kraft."

"Do you like it better than not getting fucked again?"

He grinned and said, "But I've gotten used to calling you 'Archie' I guess."

Jonathan, age 16

When I got to Pizza Shack, Archie and his friend were already there. The way they were laughing and looking at each other reminded me of me and Margie. He smiled when he saw me and stood up and gave me a hug. He said, "Hey Jonathan! This is Sean. Sean, This is my best friend, Jonathan."

I sat down across from them. Sean shook my hand like he was an ambassador or something. He said, "I feel like I know you. Archie's talked a lot about you."

I raised one eyebrow. "Oh really? Cuz he's hardly said anything about you."

Archie said, "Well I've only been home a day. And I didn't know Sean before...you know."

"Yeah," I said. They were still giving each other the goo goo eyes. I said, "So, Sean's your Or Something, huh?"

Archie started to say something but then looked at Sean and took his hand. "No," he said. "Sean's my boyfriend. He's my Somebody."

If you liked this story, you may like my other stories on Nifty:

Young friends:

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/maxs-bucket-list/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/the-boardwalk/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/the-three-musketeers/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/puppy-love https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/newsflash https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/being-dirty https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/nu-foo https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/the-cornfield/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/vitamin-j https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/making-white https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/tutoring-master-bates https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/the-elevator-feeling https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/middle-school-towel-boy

Adult Youth

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/college-credit https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/fairy-moans https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/petty-officer-pervert/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/the-drone

High School

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/gayer-than-laughter https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/the-toad-and-the-butterfly/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/the-drive-in-series/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/the-food-court https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/spermaholics-anonymous https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/marty-gets-drunk

Incest

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/my-brother-is-queer https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/alexs-third-eye https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/connor-and-ethan/ https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/knot-as-it-seems

Camping

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/puppy-love https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/fairy-moans