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Solitude is the worst companion you can have.
Unfortunately, I speak out of experience. Let's get to the point. Being on your own from time to time is good. It gives you time to think about your life and what you want to achieve; about what you did up till now and what it brought to you. That time alone is wonderful and even helpful. The solitude I am talking about is nothing compared to that.
The solitude I am talking about is when you really feel alone, even if you are in a crowd of people. It is when you are reaching home and that you perfectly well know that you will find an empty space and that there will be nobody to talk to, except if you love monologues or talking to the walls and furniture, knowing there will be no answer at all. Some guys don't even stand such a situation more than a day or a week. Some are comfortable with something like that during a month or two. The real hermits who endure such a situation during months and years are really exceptional.
But then, you have the ones who endure such a situation, but not by choice and I am sure there will be more than one that will recognize himself in this. It comes from the most famous "life circumstances" that surreptitiously creep into your daily life, one day at the time and before you know it, it overwhelms you and brings you on the verge of serious depression. It is not that you want it, on the contrary, but nobody or nothing warns you about it. For the outside world, you are still the same person they always knew. However, inside it nibbles at your sanity. In the worst of cases, it can lead you to the unspoken wish to end it all.
No, I am not suicidal. I try to live my solitude with philosophy and a clear objective mind. It is not always easy, that I can tell you. My idea in this matter is that nothing in this world is permanent! Nothing! Not the good things, nor the bad things last forever. I see the periods of loneliness as a preparation to something better to come. I am patient, but even patience has its limits... I use my time to sit at my computer, writing things down and let my imagination take me to places and situations I have never lived. It is a pure escape of the reality, yes! Is it good? I don't know. It just helps me getting through each day without lingering too much on a past that will never come back. The past is there in the form of memories... some are good, others are not so good. Strangely enough, the bad memories come to mind a lot easier than the good memories. It is not that I am pessimistic. It is what loneliness does to you.
They say that we are master of only one thing in our live: our thoughts. It is true and the big advantage we have, is that we can change our thoughts. Right! It is easier said than done, but not impossible. To remedy the solitude we have a lot of options today, the internet allowing you to contact people around the world. The idea is fantastic, of course, but ... and this is a big "BUT". If you, for example, live in the States and you meet a great person in, let's say Australia, the chances to meet up are really reduced, except if you have a very healthy bank account. Ok... where there is a will, there is a way. The question is if both persons want or can make the necessary moves and rock their world completely. Who is ready to leave everything behind to travel to the unknown, just to be able to be in company instead of feeling alone?
I did it once. I was living in Europe and met (what I thought) a wonderful man in Canada. We learned to know each other through the internet during more than six months. Little did I know that more than half the words he was saying, were pure lies. I traveled to Canada and when I first laid eyes on him, I already knew he was a liar. It was before the time I knew how to send and receive pictures and I only received one picture of his face (not even whole body picture) by snail mail. My flight ticket was booked round trip and I had three weeks to live what I thought was the love of my life. Useless to say that after only two weeks I was already back in Europe. Why? Because I can't stand lies and a few of them were really too much. The disappointment was so huge that I didn't even consider to discover a bit on my own. I changed my plane ticket and came back without looking behind me.
That was over twenty years ago. The problem is that now I have problems trusting people and that brings automatically a supplementary loneliness. But it was also a good lesson. I am less naïve now. It doesn't sound so nice, but I double check everything, asking the same question various times in different ways to see if the answers stay the same. Some people go with the flow. Others discover my "game" and get mad. That just tells me they have something to hide.
There are still a lot of stories to tell and a lot of imagination to write down here. Today, in this first chapter, I want to share a true story from beginning to end. I will change names and places as to protect the privacy of the person I am going to write about.
The year was 1988 and it all happened during the spring and summertime. It started at a local park in my city. A beautiful park with lots of old trees that were majestical, recovering their green leaves after the winter. The temperatures were surprisingly warm and pleasant. At last, we could walk outside the house without the need of a jacket. It had to be a moment of loneliness (again) and I knew there was quite some cruising in that park. I had nothing to lose and tried my luck. In a certain way, I was lucky as I met John, a nice looking fellow who didn't hide the fact he wanted to hook-up. We crossed paths several times before he made the first move. We were about to cross once again and I saw him looking back and to the sides to see if we were alone or not. We were. He came straight to me and without saying a word, wrapped his arms around my waist and his face came so close we could kiss. I won't easily forget that kiss. I was nervous as hell but relaxed quickly in his embrace.
He pulled me behind some bushes where we wouldn't be seen by any person walking by. He must have been really horny, because before I even realized what was happening, my jeans were opened and my cock was out and hard. I wouldn't say he had magic in his hands, but he knew perfectly well what he was doing. I guessed he was in a hurry as he immediately fell to his knees and engulfed my cock completely, making me moan and groan. Jeez, he could suck cock like a pro! I grabbed his hair and imposed the rhythm I was most comfortable with. I knew I was going to reach orgasm very fast with his skilled lips and tongue. In such occasions it was all I was looking for, certainly if he initiated all the actions and I hadn't even heard the sound of his voice. My balls were ready to empty in his mouth and I warned him. That made him suck even harder and it took split seconds for me to give him my juices. Fortunately I was with my back against a tree as my knees were trembling and ready to bend and make me fall.
The guy got up. I thought he was just going to leave. I was wrong as he opened his trousers and took out a magnificent cock that's rock hard. Even though I was ready to pull my jeans up, he slapped on my hands and made me turn around so I was facing the tree and showing him my naked ass. I didn't know where he got the condom and the lube from, but felt him apply it to my ass, introducing first one, then two and even three fingers. I knew he was going to fuck me and I anticipated it, relaxing my muscles as much as I could. Indeed, his intentions were obvious and before I knew it, I felt his cock-head on my puckered hole, immediately followed by a hard, almost brutal thrust and he was in me up to the hilt. I couldn't avoid to shout out a scream of surprises and excruciating pain. He was considerate enough to not move for a few moments, letting me adjust to the real invasion of his manhood in my body. As soon as he felt my muscles relax a bit, he started the traditional in and out movements that rapidly increased in speed and force.
It didn't take him long to deposit his seed in the condom in my bowels. When he was spent, he stayed in me. Thanks for that as I hate it when somebody cums and pulls out immediately. I was in for a surprise as only a few minutes later he resumed his thrusts and just like the first time, gradually increased his speed. By that time I was hard again and he grabbed my cock, fisting it in unison with his in and out movements. I guess it is not necessary to say we both came again without delay. Believe it or not, it was all over in less than ten minutes!
As we were pulling up our trousers and tucking away our genitals, I looked at him and he was smiling. He introduced himself as John and I gave him my name which is Al. He apologized profusely for how quick everything had happened and the hurry he had shown.
-I have to go to work, but would like to have a repeat session if you agree, taking our time to enjoy it even more.
He had a very pleasant voice that seduced me on the spot. I agreed to meet again. I asked him what kind of job he had that he had to start so late in the afternoon/evening. He told me he worked as a waiter at a bar and said I was welcome to come and have a drink any time I wanted. He told me where the bar was and disappeared almost by magic. I was still standing against that tree, trying to realize what had happened so fast and enjoying the feeling of a good and strong fuck.
I told you that was in 1988 and so you can understand there were no cellphones yet. The only way to have a repeat session, was to go and have a drink at John's bar.
The next Friday night I was horny as hell (as usual) and went to have a walk in the cruising park. A few guys made it clear they wouldn't mind to have some sex with me, but I didn't feel attracted to them. After an hour walking and opening my eyes wide in the darkness, I knew I was not in luck this time, so I went in search of John's bar, or at least the bar where he was working. My God! The place was packed. There wasn't a free table or chair. John saw me and winked at me. He even found his way through the crowd and came over and kissed me on the cheek. That's when I realized the bar was gay-friendly despite the many women present. It was not easy to reach the bar, but when I did I asked for a beer. The guy behind the bar looked at me with quite an uncommon intensity. If John was nice-looking, the guy behind the bar was drop-dead gorgeous. The first stare we gave each other was heavy, keen, almost fierce. The feelings that went through my body and soul made me dizzy. He handed me my beer and our fingers touched. That simple touch ignited a fire inside of me that I had never known before. Suddenly I wanted to be alone with that guy, make the people around us disappear by the snap of my fingers. My mind was working at the speed of light to find a way to get closer to the guy.
With the crowd around us, it was totally impossible to talk to each other as the noises were high. I heard someone call him and learned his name: Frank. He was called back to reality and his busy job at the bar. As it was getting later, people started to go. I finally found a stool at the bar and sat down. I could watch Frank and our eyes met more than once in what we thought was a discreet way. John was standing next to me, placing an order for one of the tables. While waiting for the drinks he looked at me.
-You look fascinated by my ex.
-Who's your ex?
-Frank, the bartender and co-owner of the bar with me.
But he said it with a certain disdain in his voice.
I couldn't avoid to be sincere and straight forward with John. After all, we had a quick fuck in the park, but nothing else. It was not because I came to have a drink that we had a relationship. In fact, I didn't know anything about John. Nonetheless, he gave me that look that was not a happy one. I could even detect a certain jealousy from his part. I didn't see why as John had called Frank his ex. When I realized thatJohn wanted me for himself, he was already gone serving the tenants of the bar. Frank looked at me and lifted his shoulders as if he wanted to say that John's reaction had no importance at all. Sorry to be a bit harsh, but that was exactly what I thought as well.
Frank and I had established a connection, that was undeniable. With Frank's work and the surrounding noises, it was impossible to engage in a conversation. I had no idea what time the bar would close and even if I wanted to get closer to Frank, I didn't know if I wanted to stay there, sitting on that stool till closing time. The activity in the bar was getting less, but Frank was still quite busy and I was there, almost like a statue in a church. When Frank looked again at me, I showed him my watch and lifting my hands slightly as to ask till what time he was going to work. He understood immediately and showed me six fingers, making me understand he was to be there till 6am. That was too late for me. I had had a horrendous week at work and needed to sleep. At one point, when our eyes met again, I discretely waved at Frank, lifting my shoulders. He lifted his thumb in the air and winked at me. After that I left.
Driving home, Frank's face was before my eyes constantly. What had happened? It is difficult to describe, but there was definitely a mutual attraction between us. From John's statement, I knew that Frank was gay as he had called him his ex. He had also mentioned a co-ownership of the bar and that meant that Frank was probably there most of the days. John's look of jealousy was, of course, going to be there as well. It was not because I had had John's cock in my ass that I owed him anything, so I couldn't care less what John was thinking. I wanted to see Frank again and, if possible, have a bit of a conversation with him.
That same week-end, on Saturday evening, I was invited to a birthday party of a good friend of mine, James. I was not really eager to go that party as I knew it would be a flamboyant gay party. Yes, I am gay, but the flamboyant part of it is not my cup of tea. Nonetheless, I knew James really wanted me to be there and our friendship was strong enough for me to ignore the general ambiance of that party. I am a very punctual guy and was at the party at the indicated time, being the first to arrive. That gave me the opportunity to have small talk with James before he would have to attend to his other guests. James, being as he is, had only bubbles available. It was not French Champagne, but Spanish Cava which is a lot cheaper and to my taste even better than the expensive stuff.
I didn't know a lot of the other guests, so I was staying stand-offish with my drink in my hand and smiling politely to the other people around. I was serving myself yet another glass of bubbles, when my host tapped me on the shoulder, saying he wanted to introduce someone to me. I turned around and was speechless. Frank was standing in front of me, looking as surprised as I was, but our eyes locked once again. James sensed there was something going on between us and disappeared as quickly as he came. Frank came closer and our hands touched. It seemed natural our fingers intertwined. Our faces came much closer to each other and our lips touched softly. That simple and soft kiss was electrifying and triggered a second one that was really passionate. We couldn't care less about what happened around us, but no one was paying attention to us. I know I can talk for the both of us when I say we could have stood there for ages, kissing and letting the energies flow from one to the other.
As we broke the kiss, I heard Frank's deep voice for the first time.
-Do we go to your place or mine? I'm sure James will understand.
We went to find James and apologized for the early departure. Indeed, he understood and wished us a fantastic night. We almost ran to my car and I went over the speed limit more than once. Finally we reached my place and my door was not completely closed before Frank was all over me. Lust was unlocked and the highway to passion was all ours. Clothes were scattered all over the place from the door to the bedroom and we fell naked on my bed. Our mouths were glued together and our tongues were dancing inside them. Our arms were wrapped around each other, holding us as if we were afraid the other one would suddenly leave. The first skin-to-skin contact made us wanting even more. The excitement was at peak level, devouring each other's mouths and hands roaming over our bodies, discovering the sensitive places that made us moan and groan. We were in such a state that we knew we would orgasm very quickly and indeed, we did, without touching our cocks with our hands, just by rubbing our crotches together.
As the first urge as over, we could make love in more relaxed and sensual way. The kissing was softer and more romantic. The caresses were slower. The rubbing of our cocks was more sensual. Having unloaded, we thought our cocks would deflate, but that was not the case. We stayed rock-hard. We took our time to discover the other's body with hands and tongues, in search of the most erogenous places and activate them, waking up every nerve-ending we could find. That's how I discovered that Frank's earlobes were really sensitive and when I stuck my tongue in his ear, he went wild. All the attention I was giving him made him wiggle. Just a simple kiss on his nipples was triggering an uncommon twist of his body and when I bit them softly he just cried out of pure pleasure, putting his hand on the back of my head and pushing me, urging me to go on. I went on my knees next to him to allow him to touch me while I was traveling down his body, licking the fine hairs that went from his chest to his pubes.
Reaching his crotch, I inhaled deeply through my nose and let his scent overwhelm me. He had that masculine and natural fragrance over him that I knew I could fall in love with. I buried my nose in his pubic hairs before going for the grand prize. I had not paid attention to his cock when we undressed. He had a magnificent, straight and hard manhood, with a nice sized pair of balls in their scrotum. I had to think to make a picture as it was absolutely perfect in size and proportions. I knew it would be a perfect match for my mouth and my ass. Before engulfing it in my mouth, I smelled it. His sweaty crotch had a faint hint of soap. I licked his balls and let my tongue travel slowly up his shaft till I reached his beautiful cock-head. There was no way I could leave it alone and I wrapped my lips around it. Using a lot of spit, I let his cock enter my mouth as I went down on him, savoring his precious precum, tasting it, swallowing it. I felt his hands on my head, pushing softly, indicating the rhythm he liked most. I let his cock invade my mouth and my throat, swirling my tongue around the head and trying to give him the pleasure I hoped he would return. I pulled softly on his scrotum, letting his balls roll between my fingers and putting some pressure on his taint to increase the general pleasure.
Frank asked me to turn around so we would be in a 69 position and, of course, I obliged. He grabbed my buttocks in his hands, pulling me closer and opened his mouth wide to let my manhood enter his warm and moist mouth. I was immediately engulfed by his skilled lips and felt his tongue cleaning out my piss-slit, collecting the precum I was oozing. We were mimicking our actions. Isn't that the biggest advantage of a gay 69? You can immediately feel what the other does and what he wants as we automatically suppose that what we are doing is what we like done to us. As I was pushing on his taint, Frank went for my ass, playing with my rosebud after salivating his fingers. I was so relaxed in his company that his finger entered me with ease and he went straight for my prostate. If there is one thing I get completely crazy about is when my hole is played with and the more he inserted his second and third finger, the more I moaned, making him know he was doing the right things to me. The more his fingers played inside of me, the more precum I produced and he was sucking it in and savoring it with equally loud moans.
We were totally oblivious of time and space. It could be that we were busy like that for five minutes, but it could well be it was an hour. I was surprised at how hard we stayed. When my cock left his mouth, Frank almost jumped and fell on me, lips locked again in passion and devouring each other. As I was laying on my back, I naturally opened my legs wide and Frank wiggled himself between them. He grabbed my knees and lifted them high in the air, exposing my ass for the world to see and dove in. He literally sucked himself on my ass, trying desperately to introduce his tongue where seconds before his fingers had been. He was French kissing my hole and I started to breath heavily. My excitement was reaching top levels in anticipation of what was coming. I knew he was preparing my ass for his invasion. If he was skilled for cock-sucking, his abilities for ass-eating were extraordinary. He was taking me to heaven and back. If he was as skilled with his cock as he was with his tongue, I would probably die out of pure pleasure. I wouldn't mind dying like that, with the feelings he was waking up in my body. All my nerve-endings were on full alert and I couldn't possibly say what I felt most or which feeling was the most intense.
I held my legs up in the air with my hands so that he could use tongue and hands on my ass and he did! I felt his fingers alternating with his tongue, stretching my ass as wide open as he could, massaging my anus like it had never been massaged before. He was giving me the royal treatment and I was ready to give him my ass in anyway he wanted. When he kneeled between my legs and pulling me up to him, I knew he wanted to get inside of me and I couldn't agree more. He spit several times on his cock and added his saliva to what he had left there while eating my ass. He didn't wait too long as he didn't want his saliva to dry before he entered me. He put his cock-head right on target and pushed softly at first as if he was trying out my ass muscles and checking if they were loose enough. I must have fit his criteria as his thrust became more forceful. I had long ago learned to push out while someone wanted to get in and I soon enough felt his magnificent cock breach my sphincter. He teasingly slow entered me in one soft and smooth motion, stopping only when he couldn't get any further and resting there for a few moments, letting me getting used to his manhood in me.
I pushed myself up, grabbing him by his neck and pressing our lips together once again. Passion was devouring us and our tongues danced in our mouth as if it was the last dance they would ever perform. Kissing was not preventing him to start a nice movement with his hips. I felt his cock leaving me and squeezed my ass-muscles just before his cock would leave me completely. He got the message and pushed back in slowly again. He knew how to control his thrusts and I could feel he was building up a huge load for me. The rhythm increased and it seemed that with each thrust he was reaching further in me. I had had my share of cocks in my ass, but this was totally new. I could almost feel every vein in his cock. Even if his thrusts were more rapid now, he stayed in perfect control of what he was doing. I loved the way he was brushing my prostate and pushing out even more precum than what was already coming out, making me cock-head slick between our bellies, making the friction so much more pleasurable and making my balls prepare themselves to erupt in a wonderful climax to come. Frank put all his feelings in what he was doing. This was not sex, this was pure and complete lovemaking. There was no way I would ever find anything better than what he was doing.
His thrusts became harder, stronger and followed each other with increasing speed. My ass-muscles were working big overtime, squeezing his manhood and (hopefully) give him as much pleasure as he was giving me. I was on the verge of coming and when Frank threw his head back and pushed forcefully in me, I knew he was emptying his balls in me. That, of course, triggered my own orgasm and my seed mingled with the abundant precum that was between us. Even our spurts were synchronized and when we both were empty, Frank collapsed on me, kissing me with the satisfaction of the best lovemaking ever.
It took us a while to get our breaths back to normal. It took even more time for our heartbeats to slow down to a normal rate. It didn't prevent us to go on kissing as if our lives depended on it. It had been mind-blowing, amazing and so sexually satisfactory. We stayed in that position for quite some time, till we noticed that my seed was drying up and glued our bellies together. I invited Frank to follow me to the bathroom and have a shower together. Under the cascading warm water, we washed each other and when we reached our crotches, our cocks woke up again. I didn't think they would as we had orgasmed twice, but as I said before, the highway to passion was wide open for us. We couldn't get enough of each other and if the kissing was any indication, our third orgasm was readily on its way. Frank had discovered how much I liked my ass played with and didn't hesitate to introduce his fingers once again. I lifted one leg to give him better access and he took advantage of the soap foam to have three fingers in me before I even realized it. Yes, he got me totally horned-up in a split second. When he tried, and succeeded, to introduce a fourth finger, I went as wild as I could ever be. No, he was not fisting me. He just moved his fingers inside me and I could feel any one of them touching places I didn't even know I had. He seemed to love what he was doing, but had also other plans as very soon his hand disappeared from my ass, giving me the empty feeling I hated. But he was a good lover and replaced his hand with his cock, with renewed energy.
The soft lovemaking we had a few minutes before, disappeared and made place for an almost bestial fucking. Coming from Frank I couldn't do anything else than to love it. He pumped in me with brutal force and grabbed my cock, matching his hip movements with his hand. I didn't know I could orgasm so many times in such a short period of time, but I did when he deposited his third load in my ass. We rinsed off the soap and dried each other off. I took two dry towels that we wrapped around our waists and went to the living room. I opened a bottle of wine and served us each a glass. Frank was sitting at the far end of the sofa and I laid down and rested my head in his lap.
We admitted to each other we had had our share of sex in our lives, but that what we just had, was totally new for both of us. Even the best sex we had in the past couldn't match with what we had experienced. We were talking softly, discovering each other as we had not talked that much before. We didn't agree on everything, but we respected each other's points of view. I so learned that he had been married to a woman before and that it was John who seduced him and made him see he was living a lie, but he was still good friends with his ex-wife. When he asked how it came that I had entered his bar that was not really in my neighborhood, I told him honestly that at first I came to see John with whom I had had a quick fuck in the park. I could feel Frank stiffen.
-Did he use a condom?
When I answered affirmatively, he relaxed again. I looked up at him and asked him why.
-John has probably had more sexual partners than men in this city. I urged him to have the AIDS-test, but he refuses, saying it is not a real disease. I have been tested several times since we stopped having sex, already quite some time ago. I am clean a hundred percent if you wonder. In our passion we have not used condoms today.
-Don't worry about that. I have been tested on a regular basis and when I go to the park, I never accept sex without a condom. With you it is different and don't ask me why because I can't answer you. Before you even entered here, I knew I could trust you with my life.
I stood up and went to my desk and pulled out the paper with the results of my latest test that was only a month old and showed it to Frank.
-I can assure you that between the moment of the test and now, I had sex only with John the other day and it was with condom.
-I believe you Al and you didn't need to show me the paper to prove what you are saying.
I resumed my place on the sofa, putting my head in his lap again. Frank looked at his watch and almost jumped up.
-My God!!! I have to be at the bar in less than half an hour. Do you realize we have been making love for over three hours?
No, I didn't realize it, but I was glad for every single minute of it. It also struck me that he said: "making love" and not "fucking". Frank was definitely a special man and I would even say a keeper. Yes, indeed, I was falling for him big time. We dressed in a hurry although I had hoped we would spend the evening together and maybe having him staying the night. In the car he asked if I wanted us to see each other again. I smiled and didn't hesitate to say yes, that I would love to.
-I would love to as well Al. It is not only to make love to you. I really want to know you better and see what Destiny has reserved for us, but I have to tell you I work very odd hours and as I own the bar, I have very few leisure time. It won't be easy...
-Not easy doesn't mean impossible Frank. I want to know you better as well and cross my fingers we can have a future together. It's the first time in my life that I feel like I feel now, with you.
I found a parking spot not even hundred feet away from the bar.
-Would you mind if I come in and stay with you for a bit longer?
-I would like that... no, let me rephrase that... I would love that.
We entered the bar together and the first eyes I saw, were John's eyes. He didn't look happy at all. It was obvious and undeniable that I was there for Frank and not for him and he knew it. Frank didn't pay any attention to him and switched over to boss-mode in a fraction of a second. It was almost as if there were two Franks in one, but I recognized the signs as in my professional life I did exactly the same : separate work and private life.
I sat at the bar. For the first hour, Frank was really busy with all his responsibilities as owner and boss. I started to doubt if John was really co-owner. It was just a gut-feeling. My analytical mind was analyzing what Frank had told me and what John had said. John had called Frank his ex. Frank told me they didn't have sex anymore. John didn't really speak well of Frank.
When at one point John had some spare time, he came to stand next to me.
-So... You prefer to fuck with the boss than the employee?
I found his statement quite rude, but was willing to pay him with his own money.
-You pretended to be the co-owner the other day.
John turned crimson. I had obviously caught him on a lie.
-And there is no question of boss or employee John, it is a question of honest people against people who pretend to be someone they are not. I hope you get the hint.
-Crystal clear, John said, you'll find out by yourself who is pretending and who not.
Frank looked and listened to what we said and shook his head in disbelieve. I guessed he heard clearly the part of John pretending the co-ownership. As for me, I was completely finished with John. His attitude was not to my liking. I have that ability to turn off a switch in my head and forget all about some people and that was exactly what I did.
I didn't stay long that night. I loved watching Frank doing what he had to do and we exchanged quite a lot of stares and winks. It felt so good to know that without saying a word, I could get him to smile. Frank had the same effect on me. I wrote my number on a piece of paper and handed it to Frank, telling him he could call me at ANY time at all. I just hoped he would take this as literally as possible.
Once home, I didn't want to change the sheets on the bed. They were not dirty after all, but more than that, they still had Frank's fragrance on it. I undressed and showered and was ready to go to bed and sleep. I took the wireless phone and laid it on my nightstand. You never knew...
Around 2am I was woken by the doorbell. I was immediately awake and in my opinion there was only one person who would do something like that in the middle of the night. Opening my door, indeed, I saw Frank with a sheepish look on his face, asking me if he could sleep with me. He said he was too tired to get us in sexual activities, but just wanted to have me in his arms and sleep peacefully. Of course, I agreed and went straight to the bedroom. I threw myself on the bed and saw how Frank took off his clothes. I got hard. When he removed his underwear, I could see he was not flaccid either, but he came to bed and we spooned after sharing a nice kiss. I could feel his hard-on at my ass, but he didn't attempt to start anything. It took less than a minute to hear his breath become calm and steady and I even heard a soft but very pleasant light snoring. Frank's arm was over my chest and I grabbed his hand in mine. It didn't take me long to fall asleep as well.
When I woke up, the bed was empty. I heard the shower running and was happy Frank had not disappeared during my sleep. I went to the kitchen to prepare some much needed coffee. I came back to the bedroom with two mugs of the steaming drink. Frank was sprawled over the bed. I gave him his mug and a kiss that soon indicated he wanted more. I hurried to the bathroom to empty my bowels and clean myself inside. I hate it when there is an unpleasant surprise as the result of a penetration. I brushed my teeth and went back to the arms of my lover. The coffee had done its work and Frank was fully awake and sported a healthy hard-on I couldn't resist. In my opinion there is nothing as great to start your day than a good lovemaking. I let myself fall on the bed between Frank's legs and without losing any time, engulfed his manhood in my mouth. Remembering the previous day, I soon turned around so my cock would be in his reach. There was no need for a formal invitation. Frank got the hint and didn't disappoint me as his wide open mouth received my hard-on. It was not as frantic as yesterday. It seemed Frank was more romantic in the morning and enjoyed a more softer approach, licking my shaft up and down, paying attention to my balls and taint and letting his hands roam over my body in a sensuous way.
Let's make it clear that Frank's hands had magic in them. Every square inch of skin he caressed, provoked very pleasant tickles as if he was waking up every nerve-ending just below the skin, giving me goosebumps all over my body. Doing so, he increased my level of excitement as well as my desire to go on and please him in anyway I could think of. I loved the taste of his precum and caught every drop that came out of his piss-slit. I licked his shaft up and down and as I looked at his perfectly shaven balls, I just had to take them in my mouth. They felt so soft on my tongue and with the spit I was producing, they easily rolled over and over. I could have spent hours and hours having them between my lips. I discovered Frank shaved his dick and balls and trimmed his pubes. It was so sexy and made me want to spend the whole day lavishing them.
While paying all my attention to Frank's genitals, he was already on his way to my hungry ass. My God! He knew how to get the best of me and open up for him. As he concentrated on my ass with his lips and tongue I just wondered if it could get any better, but then he added his fingers and yes, indeed, it could get better. Frank turned me around so I was on all four. Diving between my buttocks seemed to be his favorite game and I was the sole beneficiary of it as he spread them wide open, introducing tongue and fingers, making my ass-muscles dilate to his liking. As he was kneeling behind me, I couldn't reach his cock or anything else. I was his focus, completely. He was once again making love to my body, thinking of my pleasure, knowing precisely what to do. He stretched my ass muscles so that he could have an open hole to penetrate me with his tongue. I was moaning and groaning and even growling while he was preparing my ass for his cock. If you had told me he was a pornstar, I would have believed you.
I felt him move on the bed and put his cock in my crack, moving it without penetrating me. It excited me even more. I knew that at one point he would position himself right on target and thrust forward. I was expecting it, wanting it. I wanted to feel him inside of me, fill me up and give me the sensation I belonged to him, totally and without restrictions. The spit and his precum were lubricating my entrance and he entered me oh so easily. With just his cock-head past my sphincter, he stopped any movement as to give me time to adjust to his mighty weapon. I begged him push forward and to only stop when his pubes would tickle my buttocks.
-Is that what you really want?
I shouted the loudest YES my voice could come up with. If I thought he would enter me slowly and softly, I was wrong. Unexpectedly, he pushed the entire length of his cock in my ass and I felt what I had asked for : the tickling of his pubes on my ass-cheeks. While doing that, he abused of my prostate and for just a second I couldn't breath. My mouth and my eyes were wide open and he held on with his strong hands on my hips, preventing me to move. The sudden thrust had made my ass-muscles shut down and clench his manhood with all the strength they had. None of us could move.
It was only when our muscles relaxed that Frank started to move in and out. Was it his excitement or was he in a hurry? I didn't know, but there was no soft increase in strength and speed. This time he switched directly to the high speed. He pumped me like a jackhammer. Although I normally prefer a softer approach, I loved it. It was probably because it was Frank and no-one else. At that speed it was obvious he was going to unload really fast. My prediction was right as I felt him getting even bigger and harder, just before he pushed in really deep and came to a halt. I felt the spurts leaving his cock and filling my bowels. Once I felt him slightly softening, I turned around and took his manhood in my mouth to clean it with my tongue. I knew he had to be very sensitive after orgasming. Nonetheless, I wanted him to feel my mouth and hopefully not lose his hard-on completely.
I pushed him backwards till he was laying on his back. I grabbed his knees and pushed them up. His rosebud was winking at me and inviting me to kiss it and lick it, what I did. With a hand on each buttock I spread his ass wide open and started to kiss and lick and munch on his private entrance. I tried to remember what he had done to me and mimic it faithfully. Frank reached his arms as far as he could, grabbing my head and pulling me into him with force. I pushed my tongue in his hole and tried a tongue-penetration, but he was so tight. I had the feeling that he was exclusively top, but didn't stop eating out his ass. When I kneeled between his legs and pointed my cock-head right on target, he put his hands on my chest, making me understand that indeed he was exclusively top. That was ok for me as I am versatile but more bottom. As I had not orgasmed yet, Frank pushed me on my back and devoured my cock with the same enthusiasm as he had filled my hole. While sucking me he pushed some fingers in my slippery ass and that was my trigger. Feeling something in my ass always brings me to climax and that was exactly what happened. Frank swallowed my load sucking like a madman as to be sure he got till the last drop. Then he came up and kissed me, sharing my own seed in our mouths.
If that was not the best way to start the day, I don't know what is. I could really get used to waking up like that every morning. Frank rested a moment with his head on my chest, playing softly with my nipple and caressing my chest. He whispered something but I didn't hear it or better said, I didn't want to hear his words so quickly although my feelings were the same.
-I love you!
As he lifted his head to look me in the face, I could bend my head down a bit and kiss him.
-I love you, too.
-I was afraid you would say that, he answered.
-Why?
-Because it is so fast. Because we don't even know each other well. Because our lives are so different. Because I can't promise you to have the time you want with me or that I want with you.
-Listen Frank... I guess that feelings are falling down on us that we wanted or not. There are no rules in love. Don't you think we should see day by day what happens? Is it really necessary to already make plans for the time that will come? Can't we just live what we want and see where it leads us to? I know it won't be easy with our work schedules that are so different, but I think we shouldn't close any door yet. If it becomes really too difficult for you or for me, we will have time to talk it over. Don't you think so?
-I'm afraid to let my feelings take over my life Al. You are all what I am looking for in my life and I really want it to work between us, but we can't change our lives from one day to the other. We both have responsibilities and people that rely on us. We are not the kind of men that let the others down. If I really had a choice, I would take you to a tropical island and live the easy and uncomplicated life, not worrying about anything but loving each other. We are realistic enough to know that that will not happen. I love to fall in love and as it happens with you, I feel blessed... but I am still scared to death.
-We are already too far with our feelings Frank. We can't just split now and forget everything. You know that it is not possible and neither of us wants it. Let's take our time to learn to know each other. Let's not hurry anything. We know the feelings are here and we can't just delete them. I love you, I respect you and I trust you ... Can you say the same?
-Yes...
-So, that means that the basic pillars of what we feel for each other are present. The only way to keep these three pillars standing is with communication. Give us a chance, please.
-Al... I had only one experience of a relationship with a man and that was with John. I don't have to make a picture of what it became. I am afraid we would go the same way.
-First of all, I am NOT John. Put that in your head. There are no two people who are identical and from what I saw I can assure you there is almost nothing in common between him and me. The only thing I ask you is to not shatter the feelings we have before they even fully blossomed.
-Would you hold it against me if I asked you for a bit of time?
-It would kill me if that time becomes longer than what I can endure, but yes, I'll give you time.... So that you know, I don't need time. I am very sure of what I am feeling for you and I would give my life to make it work.
Frank got out of bed and started to dress. This time, indeed, he was in a hurry to leave. I respected his decision although I didn't understand it and even had problems accepting it. I was not the guy who was going to beg for his love or his time. That was something he had to decide on his own if he wanted it with me. Before he opened the door and went in his car, he gave me the most love filled and heart-moving kiss I had ever received from anyone. As he left my house I could see he had some tears in his eyes.
Yes, I had hoped we would spend the day together. As he drove away, I was once again overwhelmed by that feeling of loneliness. Why was it that I had the feeling I would never see him again? I had always said that pronouncing the L word was dangerous when it came to early. Even though it was Frank who had said it first and his feelings were answered by mine, it was still giving me a bitter taste in my mouth. I would have to resign to the fact that Frank was maybe not ready for a new relationship. If he wasn't, why had he said that he loved me?
As I had promised to give him time, I didn't go to his bar. I didn't call him. I waited for him to make the first move, if it ever came. After a week of hearing nothing from him, I was getting crazy. The only thing I could think of was to send him bouquet of flowers with a little card that just mentioned that I was missing him. I hoped it would trigger something in him and that he would visit me again. It didn't happen.
Two weeks had passed without any news from Frank and the solitude was killing me. I had promised to give him time and be patient, but my patience had its limits. It was only that but when I told him I loved him, in response to his love declaration, I meant it from the bottom of my heart. I stayed out of his way only because of love. I am only human and even if I wanted Frank to come to his senses and see what we could have together, I longed for him and his body. I wanted to express my inner feelings in a physical way.
The next Friday I couldn't help myself any longer and went to Frank's bar. The first thing that I noticed is that there was no lights on in the bar. I parked my car and went to the door where I saw a paper announcing the bar was for sale. The door was closed. The phone number written on the paper was of a real estate agency. I called the following morning to inquire about the bar and why it was for sale. I didn't believe my ears when I heard the previous owner had died.
I was devastated. Frank's silence was not because he didn't want to be with me, but just because he had left this world.
Solitude overwhelmed me even more.
To be continued...
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