So Sad - Chapter Two
Written by Kevin
All names of people and places have been changed, so if they match a person or place in real life, then it's purely by coincidence. --- --- --- --- ---
Every night, I sat there in bed, thinking about Joey. Every day, I sat there on the couch watching TV, and you can damn well believe that I wasn't paying attention to the TV, I was thinking about Joey.
All I could to was think about him. Every day, every night. I wanted more than just thoughts. I wanted the real thing.
I was like, obsessed with him. I wanted him so bad. Was it all lust and not love? It's so confusing. Joey stood in my view. He was so beautiful. Why couldn't I have him? It just wasn't fair to me. He was an angel. I wasn't. They all thought that I was some sort of demon from hell because I dressed in all black. Not only that, but they complained about the way I walked. I didn't walk with my head high. I didn't have any reason to.
I couldn't help myself at all. I stared at him all class. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. He was so irresistible. Then I heard the teachers voice come somewhere into my conscienceness. The words were magical.
"Since today is the beginning of the fourth marking period you can all have new seats. You can all pick where you want to sit this time. I think that's fair."
I got up as quickly as my body would allow me and tried to sit as near to Joey as possible. Him and all of his prep friends sat near the door in the first few seats, and I was lucky enough to get the seat directly behind him. Wonderful, I now could stare at the back of his head. And no, I wasn't being sarcastic. I was so close to him that I could reach out and touch him. I had so many butterflies in my stomach I felt like I was ready to throw up. I felt horrible, but wonderful. I could hear him breathing. My stomach hurt. I loved him so much, yet he knew so little. Sick. Disgust. I had to vomit.
"Mrs. Baker, I need to use the bathroom.. I'm feeling sick to my stomach," I told her.
Before I could hear what she was saying, I was out of the room and almost down the hall, away from Joey. I wanted to be so close, and so far. I ran into the bathroom, entered the first stall, slammed it shut, and locked it behind me. I kneeled down over the toilet as my stomach growled at me. I rubbed my stomach as it hurt. I felt like I was dying.
The bathroom door opened and slammed shut. I could hear from behind me the pace of someone's walk. I got up and turned around to open the door of the stall. Next came the sound of a zipper being pulled down, and the tinkle of urine against the ceramic urinal.
I walked forward to the mirror and turned the hot water on. I rinsed my hands underneath and pressed them to my face as I looked in the mirror. I couldn't look. I hated the way I looked. I closed my eyes and once more rinsed my face with warm water. As my eyes were closed, the faucet to my right turned on. I opened my eyes and looked to the right. Low and behold, bitter irony strikes me down. Joey stood in my presence, washing his hands and fixing his hair. He turned to me. My heart pounded. He opened his mouth to say something. Pounding. Racing. Pain. My heart felt as if it might explode any motherfucking second.
"Are you okay, Kevin? I heard you say you were sick or somethin'."
One million thoughts raced in my head, like one million endless cars on a highway with no speed limit. My blood sped through my veins. He knew my name. Countless fragments of thoughts. His eyes glowed. The flourescent light flickered. I felt as if I were going to faint.
"I said, are you okay?"
The next thing I felt was the splash of cold water on my face. I blinked my eyes and looked up. As my vision became less and less blurry I could see a face.
Joey's face. He was so beautiful. I thought I died.
"Snap out of it, man," he said.
"Wh- what?"
"You fainted and collapsed onto the floor. Are you okay?"
"Yeah.. sure, I guess," was all I could force out of my mouth.
He held out his hand to help me up. His hand. I was going to touch him. I reached out and grabbed ahold of his hand and he helped me to my feet. I brushed the dust off of me.
"You're Kevin, right?" he asked.
"Yeah.. Joey?"
"Yup."
Silence.
He said, "Are you sure you're okay? You just fainted and now you're spacing out."
"I- I'm f- f- fine." I stammered.
"You're kind of new in this school aren't you?"
"Yeah, this is my first year here. Thank god it's almost over too," I replied.
"Ahh. Okay. Listen- I was just wondering if you were doin' anything tonight because me and a few friends are getting together."
I choked, speechless. I didn't know what to say.
"Uhh.. sure," I replied, trying to act as normal as possible.
"It's just gonna' be me, you, and two other people," he said.
"Okay.. that's cool or whatever."
I can't believe I just said I was cool with that. I felt like I was going to cry. Racing. I needed to calm down. Can't calm down. Joey just invited me to his house. JOEY. Argh! Am I still blacked out from fainting? I'm dreaming, right?
I walked up his sidewalk and rang the doorbell. I saw the curtains move and figured it was just Joey checking to see if it was me that rang. The door opened and out came someone else I knew; it wasn't Joey. Another person I recognized who hung out with Joey. His name was Pat. Behind Pat stood Brent. The next few moments were a blur.
Pat said, "So you're Joey's new boyfriend. Kevin, right?"
I didn't know what to feel. I was speechless. Was he joking? Was he being serious? What am I supposed to think. I stood in the doorway, looking inside, to see Joey run down the stairs. His face was bright red. He heard what Pat said. I was confused.
Joey looked like he was going to cry.
"Wait, Kevin- I.." he turned around to face Pat and said, "How could you?" Pat looked shocked as well.
"I didn't know! I had no idea how much you said to him today!"
I interrupted. "What? Could someone explain? I'm really confused."
What is this supposed to mean? I didn't know what was happening. It was all so blurry.
Joey's face was still red and he looked angry and scared. Fearful. Afraid. Shocked. Apalled. So many expression fused into one. I was missing so much.
Joey said, "Pat, you fucked everything up, so you can explain it all. Come inside, Kevin and Pat can tell you everything."
I didn't know what to think. I walked in and looked around the room. The staircase stood tall in front of me. To the right was the den, and to the left was a door that led into the dining room. I followed the three of them into the den, Joey's face still red the whole time.
Pat started talking. "Okay. Here goes. Can you keep a secret?"
I nodded and Pat continued. "Okay then. Well, me and Brent are boyfriends. We are both gay, and have been going out for a long time. Joey is gay," -he winced "too, and he's been really lonely. A few days ago at lunch Joey was checking out guys and he noticed you. He's been talking about you non-stop for the past five days. All Joey told me was that you were coming here tonight. I thought he had told you everything, and that you guys were boyfriends."
Joey started to cry. "You're not gay are you. In fact, you probably hate gays. Go ahead, call me a faggot. Tell me that I'm a sissy little queer and then beat me the fuck up. Go ahead."
I thought I was dreaming. So many emotions in my mind. I felt cold, then hot, then cold again. A million cars all racing on one highway, none of them knowing where they are going. Everything was blurry. My mind was out of control. I tried to make connections between one thing and another but it just didn't work. I fainted.
I felt the splash of cold water on my face and blinked my eyes. As everything became less and less blurry, I could make out three faces. Brent, Pat.. and Joey. Joey's eyes were red and slightly bloodshot- like he had been crying about something. I tried to make connections between one thing and another. I didn't know what to think. So many feelings. So strange and confusing.
"Oh my god are you okay, Kevin?" Pat said.
"I'm fine.. I just, uhh.."
I didn't know what to say. What the fuck could I say? So confused and trapped. Is Joey gay? Is that what someone said before I fainted?
I looked at Joey. He opened his mouth to speak.
"Well?" he said, "what happens now? What are you going to say? Do you hate me? Come on, what's wrong with you?"
"I- I'm.." I choked.
"Well, what is it?" he asked impatiently.
"I'm.. I- I'm.. uhh.. I'm gay too."
It all happened in slow motion. Joey took a step forward and opened his arms. He put his arms around me and squeezed, while putting his face on my shoulder. He cried on me. I was so confused. I didn't know these feelings. Where was the line supposed to be drawn? I'm a goth. Goth don't hang out with preps. He cried on my shoulder. He didn't cry, he roared. Did I just make someone happy? So new. The feelings were distant. I didn't know what this all meant. It was all new to me. Happiness didn't exist in my life. How am I supposed to adjust? There was so much happening. I put my arms around him and cried. I cried. I wanted to just scream and yell and climb to the top of the highest mountain and just let it all out. The feelings were new. Distant. So far away. What am I supposed to be feeling? Too many things happened.
Was I dreaming?
No. This was all reality. So real.
"What happens now?" I said.
"I don't know," he said.
The moment seemed frozen. Nothing moved. Everything was still. I wanted to stay in Joey's embrace forever. I couldn't tell him how I really felt about him. How could I tell him that I loved him? I barely even knew him. Besides, he wasn't even my boyfriend.. yet.. I just wanted to be right here, right now. And I got what I wanted.
Joey released from our embrace and said, "Can we go upstairs? In my room?"
"S- Sure," I stammered.
Joey and I walked out of the den with his arm around me. Pat whistled at us, and then sat down and cuddled with Brent. Just seeing Pat and Brent cuddle together gave me butterflies in my stomach. I wanted that so bad, and now I was so close. Did I have what Joey wanted? Was I the right kind of guy for him? This is what I wanted. He wanted me. So confusing.
We walked into his room and he closed and locked the door behind him. I sat down calmly on his bed, and he sat down also, to my right. I turned to him, and he turned to me.
He said, "Will you be my boyfriend?"
I was stunned. Shocked. Amazed. I didn't know what to say.
"Of course I do," I started, "but.. All of this. The prep thing."
He interrupted, "The prep thing?"
"Yeah, how you're a prep and I'm a goth. It doesn't make sense. You shouldn't like me. We're on opposite sides of the balance. You know, the balance that separates people from one another. I don't understand why you would want me since I'm so different from you."
"I don't give a fuck about what kind of clothes you wear. Things like that don't matter to me," He replied.
Silence.
He continued, "So.. is this it? Are you my boyfriend?"
"Y- Yeah," I replied.
He put his arms around my waist and made me lay down on his bed. I put my head on his pillow and put my arms behind my head. He was on all fours on top of me. I looked into his eyes. It was all so close. So distant at the same time. I wasn't sure what to do.
He leaned in and kissed me. His lips pressed against mine and I moaned an approval as his mouth opened slightly and he pushed his tongue through. I felt his tongue in my mouth. I started to suck on it lightly, and he moaned. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down onto me. Our hips grinded against the other as we kissed. I wrapped my legs around his body and grinded into him harder. He moaned and kissed me back. I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it onto his floor. I pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor also, landing next to mine. Our tongues danced. Our chests pressed together. I reached my hand down and carressed his tight abdomen. I rested my other hand on his thigh and helped him grind into me. He had a thin line of hair from his bellybutton going down into his boxers. My chest was completely hairless, as I was a few months younger than him. He was already fifteen, and I was still just fourteen.
I grinded into him harder and unbuckled his belt. He lifted up from me so I could have easier access to his zipper, which I pulled down after unbuttoning his jeans. I felt one of his hands unbuckle the belt to my cargo pants. He got up for a brief moment to pull his jeans off. Joey was in front of me, wearing only his boxers. They were a plain white silk. The bulge in them was apparent. I had butterflies in my stomach. I felt lightheaded. This was so amazing. I pulled my pants off and grinded into him. The only thing separating our dicks from touching was his white silk boxers, and my black and red checkered boxers. Our tongues met once more, and he nibbled lightly on my lower lip. This drove me crazy. I hooked my hand into his boxers and pulled them down, and he did the same to me. His six and a half inch cock stood out from his body, with plenty of hair surrounding it, and a bit of hair on his balls. It was magical. I felt amazing. My five and a half inch tool stuck out from my body and was poking him on the thigh. I didn't have quite as much hair down there as Joey did, but it seemed like he was enjoying it enough. He straddled me and came up to sit on my chest. With his legs on each side of my head, I reached out and grabbed his throbbing cock. I stroked it up and down, and he moaned loudly.
Pre-cum started to ooze out of the head of his throbbing erection, and onto my hand. I smeared it around and continued to stroke him. He started breathing harder and faster. He moaned louder and louder. I squeezed slightly harder after every stoke, and played with his balls with my left hand. He moaned louder yet, and clenched his teeth as his orgasm approached. His right hand was on my upper thigh and I felt it grip tighter as his cummed. Through clenched teeth he grunted as his cum shot out of his dick and landed on my chest. Spurt after spurt landed on me, and he collapsed onto me, panting heavily. I just put my arms around him. He sighed deeply.
I rolled him over so I could clean myself up while he regained a normal breathing pattern. I scooped his cum from my chest and licked it off of my hand. This was what I wanted. I had what I wanted. Now it was my turn. He was ready. We rolled over once more into the first posistion that we were in, and he kissed me once on the mouth before going down on me. I felt his tongue lick the head of my cock and I yelped. The feelings were so new to me. He closed his mouth around my shaft and started to suck on my pulsing cock. I couldn't wait long.
"Joey," I breathed, "don't.. s- stop.. pll- eease don't ss- stop."
He sucked harder and fondled my balls with his hands. I was going to explode. I clenched my teeth and moaned. I grunted. I yelled as my cum shot out of my dick and into his throat. I had so many emotions running through my body. I saw colors and bright lights. I collapsed on his bed, and closed my eyes.
Five minutes later, I felt the now-familiar sensation of Joey's lips on mine. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. I pulled his head onto my shoulder and whispered into his ear,
"I love you."
He cried on my shoulder and through cries he said he loved me too. This was too much. How could this all be happening to me? So many new things. So many new sensations and feelings. We put our clothes back on, and walked down stairs. His arm was around my waist as we entered the den to find Pat and Brent snuggling on the couch.
Pat looked me right in the eye and winked at me. I sat down on the love seat, and Joey sat on my lap. He snuggled into me. I put my arms around him and held him close.
Well, that's the end of Chapter 2. All comments to mySithie@hotmail.com
Chapter 3 within the next few weeks.