So there's this commercial for that HIV prevention drug that everyone's seen. It has all these college-age diversity people (gay guys, black guys and girls, a trans-woman, etc.). Don't get me wrong - I may be a straight but I'm the fucking Vice President of both my college's Gay-Straight alliance AND our "Alianza Latinx" chapter - but that commercial is trying so hard to be diverse, it's like hit you over the head with a brick - DIVERSITY!! Anyways - I shit you not - I totally turned semi-gay because of that commercial. Here's how it happened.
A few weeks ago I was at this great house party. We were all feeling no pain. There was plenty of booze and pot and pretty much whatever you wanted. I had just spent a very exciting hour on the couch drinking shots and doing bong hits in between feeling and getting felt by this girl I'd been working on for weeks. She didn't seem too shy about squeezing and rubbing my big cock (a thick 8" in real life, not internet 8") and then all of a sudden she "had to go". Just like that. Left me all bulging and wet and blue balls. No. Fucking. Consideration!
Fortunately, I was wearing new black jeans so the wet spot wasn't too obvious. Anyways, I was high as fuck so I had no self-consciousness left. I was irritated, horny as fuck, and now bored, so I got up and headed to the kitchen where there was more noise and laughter. As I rounded the corner, this guy Jerry was cracking a joke about that commercial. I knew it right away when he made this awful impersonation of the trans-woman saying "I'M on the pill" in a really nasally, gravely voice. I say "awful" because it's totally mean to do that, but to be honest, his impression was pretty damn funny. I'm not proud of this, but in my high state, it was instantly the funniest thing I ever heard. I laughed as I walked right up to his stupid grinning face.
"WHAT?!" I yelled "DO THAT AGAIN!!"
He chuckled, "What?"
"THAT VOICE!," I hollered, "THAT. IS. AMAZING."
"What, the `I'm on the pill' lady?!"
"YES! Do it again!!"
"Okay, fuckit. `I'm on the pill!'"
"AAAAaahh hahahahaaa!!" I brayed like a donkey. "You fucking asshole! That's hilarious!" Everyone laughed with me. We made him do it a bunch more times before we left him alone. I don't remember much else since I probably passed out right around then.
I woke up a few hours later on the same blue balls couch from before. Music was still blaring, people still partying. Fucking Jerry was slumped next to me passed out on the couch. I sat up, smacked my dry lips a few times, and looked over at him. His fucking hand was on my thigh. MY FUCKING THIGH. I remembered him doing that "I'm on the pill" impression and me laughing at him. I was still drunk, but now it was mean drunk stage. I smacked him hard on the side of the head.
"The FUCK!," he yelled, sitting up and jerking his hand off my leg.
"YOU you fuck!" I answered. "Fucking homophobe, making fun of that trans person!"
"You seemed to think it was pretty fucking hilarious, you douche," he said. "Anyways," (more sheepishly) "I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought it was funny. I'm no gay basher. Sorry dude."
"Hey don't apologize to me, guy. I can't help you with your transphobia."
"I'm NOT transphobic and stop saying that so loud! I'm up for President of my fraternity and I can't afford to get a rep as an intolerant SOB now. So dude, chill!"
"Hmm," I mused. I still had a semi-chubby, a dripping cock, and blue balls. "Seems like you might need to convince me not to make a big stink to the Rainbow Coalition about your trans-hating ways."
"Oh yeah?," he said in a tone of voice I couldn't quite place, "like, uh, what do you mean exactly?"
"The fuck do you think I mean?! Jack me off in the bathroom, and I'll even vote for you myself, Mr. President Fucking Jerry. It's your own fault. Groping my leg while I was asleep. You got me hard and dripping and you're gonna do something about it."
"Shit," he said. "Shit." He looked like he was about to cry.
"Aw fuckit," I said. "Forget it, I was just kidding. Never mind."
"Naw man, that boner isn't kidding," he pointed out. "Anyways, I do feel bad about it. I was drunk and being an idiot. I sure as shit hope nobody remembers me saying that. Besides," he looked around, "wouldn't be the first time I had to jerk a guy off. I was in the Scouts after all."
"Shit, man, well alright then, if it'll make you feel better."
He sat there for a few seconds, looking down at my crotch with a very serious expression on his face. Then he tentatively reached his hand out and with his index finger, he slowly drew a line from the tip of my (now fully hard) cock head down the shaft to my crotch.
"Damn buddy," he whispered, "that fucker is BIG."
I just grinned at him, pleased with myself. "You're about to find out how big. That's just my `starter boner'!"
He laughed and shook his head. "Alright, fuck it. Where's the fucking bathroom in this place anyway?"
I handed him a shot glass, poured some tequila into it from a bottle on the table, and pointed to the bathroom.
He made to drink the shot but I stopped him. "Nope," I said. "That's for after."
His eyes got all big. "Oh, uh, okay whatever."
{End Part 1}
Let me know if you want to hear how it turned out.
Nicoluna@hotmail.com