Sleepy Days, Come No More
Chapter 54
Everyone was gathered in the family room. Michael was lying on the floor playing blocks with Madalyn, while Ray and Nate sat at a card table playing a game with Lena and her sister, Vera. Vanessa and Marie sat beside each other on one sofa talking, while Thomas, Rico and Tim sat on the other sofa watching a game. Tom stood at the counter pouring himself a drink.
It was a beautiful scene, to have so many people around all smiling and enjoying themselves. Blake gave me a look as he held little Carolyn, letting me know that it was a good time to share the news. I walked over to Blake and stood beside him.
"Okay everybody, Blake and I have a very special announcement." I said loudly drawing attention.
"You're pregnant!" Michael said playfully, which a collective laugh.
"Why couldn't it be Blake who's pregnant - look at how good he looks holding Carolyn, he's a natural." I smiled. "Don't typecast me."
"What is the announcement - marriage?" Lena asked.
"No!" I exclaimed.
"Not yet." Blake added.
"So what is it, spit it out!" Michael goaded.
"Matty and I have been talking and have decided I won't be moving back this summer . . . . . . ." Blake said.
"Why?" Rico interrupted.
"You guys aren't breaking up again?" Michael added.
"No. Matty and I have decided that he will move to Peru instead." Blake said with a broad smile.
"Wow. When did you decide this?" Lena asked.
"A few days ago." I informed.
"That's awfully quick - why didn't you mention before?" Marie inquired.
"Well, I think it is great news!" Thomas exclaimed and walked over toward us and gave us both a hug.
This seemed to set the trend of congratulatory hugs and handshakes.
"This is going to be great. Now I will have a place to visit in Peru." Michael said with a smirk.
"I'm going to miss you guys - well, I guess we have already been missing Blake, but I am happy for you two. I am so happy that you guys are back together." Vanessa said.
"Thanks." I replied with a smile.
After all the congratulations and hugs we all went back to talking about other things and playing games. It was really a great evening among friends. The only notable thing following the announcement were three separate conversations I had, the first with Marie, the second with Michael and the third with Blake.
When I saw that Marie was alone, I took the opportunity to pull her aside so we could talk.
"So, you have been awfully quiet." I said.
"Just been a long day, the kids got really early wanting to open their presents." She dismissed.
"Marie, you know I truly believe that this is a good decision." I said.
"I know you believe that, I don't think it isn't, I just . . . . . I am going to miss you." She exclaimed.
"And you're worried." I added.
"A little, I just want you to be happy. And with you so far away I can't keep an eye on you." She said with a slight smile.
"I am sure there will be no shortage of phone calls and video chats - I have to keep up with my goddaughters." I said with enthusiasm.
"I know, I know. I guess we are just moving in two different directions right now." She said.
"Well, yes and no. I mean I have just been trying to catch up with you. You started a family and moved to the burbs, so I had to get married and move to the burbs too. I just happen to be a little ahead of you know, I have already gotten divorced and have taken on a younger lover, well younger than my ex." I said with a laugh.
She laughed, "No, you weren't trying to catch up with me, you were running away from Blake." She smiled.
"It didn't seem that way to me at the time - but, well, I have to admit that there is a lot of truth in that." I admitted.
"Well, at least you can see it now." She said.
"Marie I am very lucky to have you as a friend, I know it couldn't be the easiest thing to get close to me at the beginning but you just kept plugging away and I am glad that you did. You were my friend long before I realized you were and I love you." I said.
"Don't be a sap Steven." She said with a bit of water in her eyes.
"Oh, are those tears Marie? Are you going to cry?" I asked playfully.
She turned away from me, "No, I think there is dust in the air. Have you changed your air filters lately?" She asked.
I moved in behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, "Motherhood has made you soft toots." I joked and kissed her on the cheek.
"I'm going to miss you poopsie." She said.
"And?" I probed.
"And, I love you." She said.
"That's what I wanted to hear." I paused. "I also want to ask you a favor." I said.
"Which is?" She inquired.
"Well, I want you to look after Michael. I know he asks like he doesn't need any help but just call him and let him know he is still a part of the family." I requested.
"Of course I will." She agreed.
"Thanks." I said. "And for the record there is no freaking dust in here either!" I added with a chuckle.
She laughed nearly hysterically for a moment, which drew attention.
"What the hell is going on?" Blake exclaimed.
I looked over my shoulder toward him, "Marie has confessed her love for me, I'm afraid that she is willing to fight to the death for my affection." I said playfully.
"Well, I guess I have to give you up because I am afraid of Marie." He said.
"Afraid? I thought my guy wasn't afraid of anything." I joked.
"So Marie, you angry with me?" Blake asked.
I let Marie go and she turned around to face Blake.
"I don't know yet." She replied.
"When will you know?" He inquired.
"I will make my decision when I see if you are going to be good to my friend." She said.
"He is good to me." I injected.
"I'm going to try my best to make our Matthew happy." Blake said.
"Good, he is very special and I want him to be happy." She informed.
"I want him to be happy too." Blake agreed.
"I know you do Blake. And I am glad that you guys are back together and I want you both to be happy, not just Steven, because I consider you my friend too." Marie said as she walked over and gave Blake a hug.
The next conversation happened after the party had ended and Michael and I were cleaning the kitchen.
"You really didn't have to help me with this; you could have gone with the guys." I said.
"I didn't really want to go to another party, besides I wanted to help you." He said.
"You feel okay with your buddy and your boyfriend going out to a party without you?" I asked.
"Would be concerned about me and Blake going out together?" He countered.
"No, I wouldn't be, but I trust you and Blake." I said.
"I trust Ray, besides if he was going to fuck around on me there would be little that I could do about it." He said.
"This is true. So you and Ray, you think it is going somewhere?" I asked.
"It depends on what somewhere is to you. I am in my mid-twenties not my mid-forties. I am only focusing on wrapping up school." He said.
"That is great; you should be focusing on finishing your thesis." I agreed.
"I probably could have finished last year but . . . ." He said.
"You were having a good time, there is no time limit." I assured.
"Yeah, you're right." He said with a smile as he started the dishwasher.
"How do you feel about me moving to Peru?" I inquired.
"I am going to miss you but it won't be too different from how it is now, I mean we live in different states and only see each other during the holidays and summer, so it won't be such a big deal. I just hope you like Peru." He said.
"I guess you're right but different states and different countries seem more drastic." I said.
"Relax, you are always too serious. So, you go to Peru and hate, then you come back, no biggie. I think the fact that you are quitting your job and moving to another country is totally bad ass. It's good for you to do something out of the ordinary - you're can get overly careful." He said. "When I decided to move across the country to follow that guy, whose name I will not mention, I knew that it might be a mistake and I was a bit nervous but you know what made me feel okay?" He asked.
"What?" I inquired.
"Knowing that regardless if I made a mistake or not that you said I had a home with you and that I was your family and that you had my back. That made me feel good." He informed.
"I meant it, we are family." I said with a smile.
"Exactly, we're family and no matter what happens you got me buddy and you can always come back home." He said with a smile.
"Thanks." I said.
"Besides, I think you and Blake will make it work this time." He added.
"I like our chances." I agreed.
"Did you calculate the probability of success and failure?" He asked sarcastically.
"Don't be a smartass." I retorted.
"I don't know any other way." He said with a laugh.
"I love it." I said and gave him a playful nudge.
"I know you do." He replied.
"I have been telling people I love them all day, so you know that you are on my list - I love you Mikey." I said with enthusiasm.
"Of course you do." He said.
"I really do and like we said, we are family - just like brothers and I am going to calling you and checking up on you just like always and if you need anything you better call me and let me know." I said.
"You're making this fucking uncomfortable." He said as looked down at the floor and then he suddenly looked up, "I love you too Steve."
I smiled and we continued to clean the kitchen. Later, in the wee hours of the morning, once the house was quiet and settled again, Blake and I lie together in bed and spoke through a haze of content exhaustion.
"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked quietly.
"I didn't realize I had a bedtime. Why aren't you sleeping?" He countered.
"Because I can feel you looking at me." I replied.
"I wasn't even facing your direction." He said with a light chuckle.
"Well, either you're a liar or I am paranoid." I said.
"Don't worry, there is medication for your problem and I will support you." He said playfully.
"That is so kind of you." I replied.
"And if it gets too bad, I'll make sure that the hospital has conjugal visits." He said with smirk.
"So you may admit me to a hospital but I would still have to fulfill some sexual obligations?" I asked.
"Well, I am still going to have needs and it will be a type of physical therapy." He joked.
"I had a good time tonight." I said.
"Me too." He concurred.
"Well, it's done now - we have told all of our friends and your family, you can't get out of it now." I teased.
"What?" He asked.
"Well, there is a difference between a long distance lover and one who is live in." I explained.
"What's the difference baby?" He asked.
"Now you won't be able to flirt with all the hotties." I answered.
"This is true; I guess I will have to have all the fun I can before summer ends and my lover comes to stay." He teased.
"You're such a schmuck." I exclaimed as I reached over and nudged him.
"Hey, hands to yourself Matthew!" He said.
"I'll put my hands where I please." I said as I rubbed my hand over his face.
He clutched my arm and pulled me over toward him. "Now, why are you being so bad? Will I have to teach you some manners Matty?" He asked playfully.
"No sir, I am very sorry for misbehaving - I am just very sleepy and I had a lot of sugar tonight." I said meekly.
"Good boy. Give me a kiss." He said.
I gave him a kiss and we chatted further until it became incoherent. Blake was the first to succumb. He laid there with his head on my chest and one of his arms sprawled across my body. I listened to his soft snoring and felt his warm breath against my bare skin and drifted away.
The next day when the sun overwhelmed the air and I was in the familiar place between fantasy and reality, I briefly considered swinging back to the other side but instead opened my blurred eyes and climbed out of bed. I walked over to the window and pulled back a curtain; the light singed my skin.
I took a big breath deep into my lungs and held it for a few moments before allowing it to slowly escape. I looked over to my sleeping lover and smiled. I no longer wished to sleep endlessly in hopes of avoiding reality but instead enjoyed waking and seeing what things the day might hold.
I wasn't certain how things with Blake and I would end but I knew that whatever the outcome, I would be better for it. The dream I had chased, the dream of safety and security through employment and financial stability had proven nothing more than an empty consolation.
Now I understood that there was no guarantee of safety or security in life. I understood that life is an uncontrollable force, reckless at once and kind at another. Rather there is a point or purpose is beyond my understanding but we all have to try to find some joy within it and rather we fail or succeed, we should be comforted by the fact that we tried and that is an earnest victory within itself.
Once I realized this I knew that sleepy days would come no more.
THE END.
Closing Thoughts:
Greetings,
Sleepy Days, Come No More has ended and I am so appreciative of everyone who has taken an interest in the series.
When I decided to write a story at the start of January I thought it would only take a week or so. I never imagined that it would turn into fifty plus installments spread over 12 months, could have been less time if not for the breaks, but nevertheless, the story has become very special to me and I am so grateful to everyone who has made it possible.
I would like to thank Raziya, JT and Mikal for allowing me to test out my ideas on them and for giving me there advice and assistance throughout this experience, thank you very much.
I would also like to thank the many readers who took the time to send their comments to me. It is an odd endeavor to share your work with others, especially on an internet forum because you don't exactly know if it will be received well or even seen at all. Having people taking the time, not only to read the story, but to also give me feedback has been an awesome asset to me and I am extremely grateful to:
Oscar, Lou, Arch, Clayton, Jake, Ed, Adolfo, Khalid, Gary, Lucas, Vern, John, Lance, Oz, Dudung, Alan, Terry, Rogue, Jerry, Paul, Greg, John J., Harold, Kim, Small, Barry, Michael B., Cameron, David S., Randy, Liam, Byron, Kris, Bryan, Fred, Leslie, Greg S., Chris, Tomaz, David, Alex, Tony, Jerry L., Emmanuel, Lulu, Joseph, Bruce S., Peter M., Andrew, Matlock, Shawn, Bobby, Jacques, Brissie, Dale, Gregory, Bill, Ryan, David R., Bradley, Jamie K., Haldon, Dave, B. L. M., Ron, Bruce, Denis, Helen, Lain, Tom, Mick and Curtis.
I am also thankful to everyone who joined Bono's Corner to discuss the story and share their views, thank you very much.
Finally, and most importantly I would like to thank Nifty for providing this wonderful platform for people to share their work with others. I know that there are so many people that make this site possible from the generous donors to the archivists and administrators and I am sincerely grateful to them all.
Thank you again and I hope that your holidays are happy and that the New Year brings much joy.
Bono
P.S. I also want to thank Jake for inspiring the last few paragraphs of the story and Bruce for bringing something to my attention that caused me to make a small but important change to 53, I know that the assistance was inadvertent but it was helpful nonetheless. Thanks guys!
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