Sleepy Days, Come No More
Chapter 49
I had agreed to babysit Madalyn on Saturday so Thomas and Marie could run some errands. I had managed to get her down for a nap and was in the living room watching a movie when there was a knock on the door. It was Blake.
I let him in and we sat down to talk.
"I don't know what we should talk about." I confessed.
"Whatever." He said.
"I don't know I guess we should try to make the most of this opportunity, it may be another year or more before we see each other." I said.
"What do you want to talk to about?" He asked.
"I feel like there is so much we should talk about but I don't exactly know where to start, I don't even know if the things I feel we should talk about are important or if I just want to ask you everything that I can think of just to make the best use of time." I confessed.
"I know the feeling, it's weird. It was the same way with my family, before I left the first time. It was like we were all talking and talking almost to postpone the inevitable." He informed.
"Yeah, I guess that is about it, you don't live down the street anymore." I said with a smile.
"No, I don't, haven't for a while." He replied.
"Well, when are you leaving?" I asked.
"For Chicago or Peru?" He asked.
"Both." I clarified.
"I am driving to Chicago in a few hours and I will be leaving for Peru in a week." He informed.
"Are you excited?" I asked.
"It is a mixture. I am very happy to be getting back to my students and my life, but I am also a little sad to be leaving some people behind." He said.
"Yeah. I imagine it is hard for you being away from all your family and friends." I said.
"It is hard, but we all keep touch with phone calls, emails, Skype. And my family has visited and so have a couple of my friends so it isn't too bad. But I still miss living down the street." He confessed.
"It must be beautiful there though, so close to the water and all." I said.
"It is nice, it nice to be around beautiful things but there are rough areas too." He informed.
As we continued to make general conversation Madalyn began to cry. I went to the bedroom to check on her. Her diaper was dry but it was about time for her next feeding. I brought her from the bedroom and into the kitchen.
I opened up the refrigerator to retrieve a bottle. As I did so Blake entered the kitchen too.
"Here, let me help you." He said reaching for the baby.
"Thanks." I said with a smile.
He took Madalyn and held her in his arms. She was still crying and Blake just rocked her gently and began to pace back and forth with her whispering some inaudible words as he looked at her little face. It was super cute and before long he had calmed her down, which was no small feat.
After I heated the bottle and tested the temperature I went back to the living room and attempted to take the baby from Blake so I could feed her.
"Let me do it." He said.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yeah. I think I can handle it, I have fed a few babies in my time." He replied with a smile.
"Okay." I said.
I handed Blake the bottle and a cloth. He cradled Madalyn in his big arms and fed her. He looked so excited and happy to be tending to the child. Neither of us spoke during the time. He was completely focused on the baby and I was focused on the scene.
After he finished feeding her, with no instruction from me, he stood and placed the baby against his shoulder and started to pat her back. He was burping her. It was so cute seeing Blake, this broad shouldered stud, holding little Madalyn.
Once Blake finished burping the baby I went to the closet and took out her playpen.
"What's that?" He asked as began to set it up.
"It's a playpen." I answered as I continued with the task.
"You bought a playpen?" He asked with a smile.
"Yeah. I have a playpen, a basinet and a baby swing. I take my godfather duties seriously." I confessed.
"That is good. I have not been such a good godfather. But I send lots of cool gifts." He said.
"Well, I am sure that you make the most of your time with him when you are in Chicago. Besides he is only a toddler, he probably won't remember." I said with a laugh.
I walked to the closet and brought out some stuffed animals and blanket and placed them in the pen.
"Okay sir, hand her over." I said with a smile.
"I don't think I want to give her up." He said with a laugh.
"Come on." I implored.
I took the baby from Blake and placed her in the pen. I kneeled beside it and encouraged her to play with her toys. Once she was settled I sat on the sofa with Blake.
"So you are pretty good at the baby thing, huh?" He asked.
"Yes. I think that I am pretty good at it. It actually is fun, I really enjoy having her." I admitted.
"I guess it is good practice." He said.
"Practice?" I asked.
"For having your own children." He clarified.
I chuckled, "I guess it could serve as practice if I am ever fortunate enough to have children." I said with a smile.
"I thought it was pretty much a done deal, that you and Adrian were going to have children." He said.
"It is certainly a possibility; we will just have to see how things work out." I replied.
"The other night it sounded as though it was only a matter of when not if." He said.
"Well, when you get to a certain age, you want to start making plans and laying a foundation for your life or rather build on the foundation you already have. Adrian and I have both had success on the professional front and we are in a position that we can consider what the future should be like." I informed.
"But you have only just finished your degree. You will have to get state certification and I know that you aren't satisfied with being the assistant director of nursing, you said that you would rather be the director." He reminded.
"Having a family won't stop me from pursuing my goals. Even if I decided to take a few years off or just work in a part time capacity, I could always go back once things got settled." I explained.
"What if things never get settled?" he asked.
"Blake like I said, nothing is concrete we are just talking about what the future may look like." I replied.
"It just seems like you are considering this for Adrian. I mean he is older than you so it is only natural that he would be anxious to have children and get married. And he is also more accomplished in his career than you are. It just seems like you would be the one shouldering most of the sacrifice." He said.
"I can understand how it might appear that way but you know we all have to make sacrifices and compromises, and I do want to have a family, I always have." I explained.
"And you believe that Adrian is the right man for you to start a family with?" He asked.
"What are you doing Blake?" I asked.
"I am just asking you a serious question. You are talking about making some major changes in your life and I just want you to be sure that they are the right ones. Once you start a family with someone you are stuck with that person for the rest of your life." He said.
"Well, that is a positive way to look at it, very optimistic." I countered.
"I don't mean to be negative but these are the questions that were on my mind. I mean you've been going out with this guy for over a year and yet you barely mention him in your emails." He said.
"I don't mention him much because it seems inappropriate to discuss my current relationship with my ex. I didn't want our communication to be awkward or make you feel uncomfortable." I said.
"It just seemed if you were in love with him you would have spoken about him more, that's all. Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all." He conceded.
"Adrian is very nice man. I believe that he would be a great father and a very caring partner. We have a really solid relationship." I insisted.
"If you are happy then that is what I want for you. I just wanted to ask." He said.
"I appreciate that." I said.
We talked for a while longer until Madalyn disrupted us with her cries. I stood and kneeled beside the playpen.
"She probably is depressed from being in baby prison." He said with a laugh.
"It is not a prison it is bright and comfy. She loves it in the pen." I contended.
"Then why is she screaming?" He asked.
"I am going to change her." I informed.
I took the baby back to the bedroom and changed her soiled diaper. After I finished tending to her and washing up I took her back out to the living room.
"Don't put her back in the pen." Blake implored.
"Fine, here." I said passing him the baby.
I put the playpen away and laid down a large blanket on the floor. I took out some toys and laid them out also.
"Okay, come on." I instructed.
"Come on what?" He asked with a smirk.
"Take off your shoes and come on the floor. Mikey and I play with the baby like this all the time, she really loves it." I explained.
He passed me the baby and then removed his shoes and joined us on the floor. We played with her for quite a while, and then Michael came home. At first he went unnoticed but soon he let his presence be known.
"What's going on guys?" Michael asked mischievously.
"Hey Mikey." Blake exclaimed with enthusiasm.
"Hey Blake." Michael responded with a smile.
"How are you doing man?" Blake asked.
"I am having a good day, though it doesn't look as fun as yours. You guys look awfully cozy." Michael replied.
"Take off your shoes and join us." Blake instructed.
"Yeah, Uncle Mikey, come and join us." I said in a baby voice as I held Madalyn.
We all sat around and played with the baby and talked about general things. Nothing heavy, just reminisced on happy times. Blake and Michael both told each other what they had been up too and we all took lots of silly pictures with our respective phones.
It was fun. Michael gave Madalyn her next feeding and Blake helped me give her a bath and put her down for a nap. After everything was settled with Madalyn, Blake suggested that we go out to get something to eat before he left. I agreed.
Michael stayed with the baby and we went to a nearby diner. We found a booth and placed our orders. We talked for a while and then the food arrived. We ate and talked. Blake helped himself to my food and teased me for using a fork to eat my fries. I wasn't being prissy, I just didn't want to get grease and ketchup all over my fingers.
Blake went to the bathroom after he finished and then paid the bill. I waited at our booth while he did so.
"So what are you thinking about?" Blake asked as he returned to the table.
"Nothing, it's just been a long time since we were here together." I said.
"Yeah, it has been a while. Are you getting nostalgic?" He asked playfully.
"No, well, maybe." I replied.
We went back to the car and he drove me back to my apartment.
"Are you going to come upstairs?" I asked.
"No, I better get going." He said.
"Well, at least get out the car so I can give you a hug." I instructed.
We both exited the car and stood on the curb. We hugged and then started to exchange a few parting words.
"Call, when you make to Chicago." I said.
"I will." He agreed.
"I guess that is it then." I said with a smile.
"I guess so." He replied returning the smile.
"Byeeeee." I said playfully.
"Bye Mattie." He said.
I turned to ascend the front steps, when Blake reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt.
"What are you doing?" I said with a chuckle.
He didn't say anything he just kept pulling at my shirt until I turned and faced him. He just looked at me with a smile and I smiled back.
"You do realize that we are going to have to say goodbye seriously at some point." I said.
He just continued to look at me.
"Hello!" I exclaimed with another chuckle.
He just kept looking at me with that silly smirk.
"Say something!" I insisted.
"What are you doing man?" He asked still smiling.
"I am standing outside with a madman apparently." I said jokingly.
"What are you doing with that guy?" He asked.
"We already talked about this. I told you that Adrian, not that guy, is very good to me. We are happy together." I said.
"No. I can tell that you are not happy with him. He isn't right for you." He exclaimed.
"You only spent a couple of hours with him." I countered.
"I know that he isn't right for you." He insisted.
"Not that it really matters, but why do you say that?" I inquired with disdain.
"Why are you getting so offended, if it isn't true?" He retorted.
"Because you blow in to town for a few days and think that you can tell me that my boyfriend, the guy that I am probably going to marry, is wrong for me. How should I react to that?" I asked.
"I'm just being your friend. I am just telling you the truth." He said.
"An opinion does not necessarily make a fact." I replied.
"If you marry this guy, if you start a family with him you'll be making a mistake." He proclaimed.
"Thanks! Thanks for fucking this up. We were having a pretty good time together." I exclaimed.
"Nothing is fucked up; I am just telling you what I feel." He said.
"Okay, so you say that Adrian and I shouldn't be together. Then who should I be with, you? Are you the only one that I will be able to be with? Are you the only person who can truly bring me happiness?" I asked with sarcasm.
"I didn't say that. I just said that you aren't happy with Adrian. He could be the nicest guy on the planet but you don't seem happy with him and it doesn't matter if I spent an hour with him or a minute, I know you and I know that he is not the right guy for you." He said calmly.
I chuckled and frowned.
"Look, you're right; I probably wouldn't want to see you with anyone else, even if you aren't with me. That makes me human but at least if the guy made you happy I would keep my mouth shut. And he doesn't make you happy. I have been thinking about the other night, thinking about what you said, and all that sticks out to me is that you said how safe and secure that you feel with him. You said how much of a nice guy he is, that he would take good care of you." He paused. "That isn't love." He continued.
"Compared to what we had. Do you know the difference between my relationship with you and my relationship with Adrian? A substantial lack of chaos. We loved each other but all we ever gave each other was a series of unrest. And this is just another example. You come to town for the first time in nearly two years to tell me that the life I have created for myself is not right for me. You tell me this five minutes before you are going to leave town and a week before you are leaving the country for God only knows how long." I exclaimed.
He started to speak.
"No, no, let me finish." I paused. "What exactly do you expect to gain from this? Did you think I would call Adrian and breakup with him, dump him after he has been nothing but good to me? And then what happens next baby? Should I take you up stairs and let you fuck me real good stud, let you remind me who I belong to?" I asked as I stepped into him and grazed my cheek against his.
He didn't respond.
"Then after you have sufficiently reminded me of who's I am, you can dash off to Peru. Is that what you want Blake? Does the thought make your dick hard?" I whispered in his ear. "I bet it does."
"Stop." He mumbled.
"Stop? But you like it don't you? I can tell you do." I said.
"Why do you have to be such an ass about it?" He exclaimed.
I stepped back from him, "I'm the asshole. You come here and try to disrupt my life and I am the one who's the asshole?" I asked sharply.
"I was only trying to help." He said.
"Whatever man! I think you should go ahead and leave." I said.
"I didn't mean to upset you Mattie. Whether we are together or apart I still love you and if I thought that Adrian could make you happy, I wouldn't have said a word. You can dismiss me but you know that what I am saying is true." He insisted.
I frowned and sighed.
He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders and he smiled. "Alright. I am an asshole. I am selfish, I am whatever else you want to call me, but you know that you will always be my boy and I am always going to look out for you." He said sweetly.
I shook his hands from my shoulders and took a step backwards.
"You know what, you are right Blake," I paused, "it is human of you to be jealous. It is human for you to have a difficult time seeing that I have moved forward with my life and that I am with someone else. Because it is human I won't hold it against you. I am going to forgive you for this inappropriate conversation. I am going to act as if it never happened because you are my good friend and I would hate to have to end our friendship over a simple misunderstanding." I said.
He stepped forward and placed his hands back on my shoulders. He laughed, "That is exactly what I expected you to say." He said and then he kissed me on my forehead and walked to his car.
He stepped off the curb and entered his vehicle. He started the engine and then looked over to me and waved. He looked over his shoulder, pulled into the street and then began to drive away. And once again he was gone.
Bono's Corner:
I am loving the story but I'm I the only one who is so tired of Blake and Steven. will they just put all the nonsense aside and get together already....
Greg S.
Greg Thank YOU I am sooo very tired I would love for them both to get over themselves and be honest with themselves and one another and admit their love for...
Alex
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