Sleepy Days, Come No More
Chapter 34
The week went by rather slowly. I think it could be attributed to the rainy weather and my anticipation regarding Sean's meet and greet. It was quite a thought, Sean having a get together so I could choose a person to have sex with. It seemed absolutely unreal. But Sean made it sound so simple, as if it were going to be a quiet evening with friends.
On the evening of the party I found it difficult to get dressed. I didn't know what I should wear. It seemed inappropriate to wear a cardigan and slacks to what was, by all accounts a solicitation party. Chuck had sent me an outfit for my birthday, a pair of tight jeans, a tight striped tee shirt with the words "HOT SHIT" written across the front and a pair of spenders.
I never thought I would wear the outfit but I decided to try it on. I walked over to the full length mirror and viewed myself from every angle. I looked ridiculous and felt embarrassed. I had never worn anything like that before. The pants were so tight that the lines from my underwear were visible. I was so tickled by the spectacle that I called for Michael to come and see me.
He knocked on the door and then entered the room.
"What are you wearing?" He said with a broad smile.
"My friend Chuck gave it to me. What do you think?" I asked with a slight giggle.
"It's hot!" He proclaimed.
"Hot?" I asked in surprise.
"Yes. Hot!" He affirmed.
"You don't think I look ridiculous, like some type of punk-rock hustler?" I asked.
"Yeah, it is punk, but that is hot!" He insisted.
"Really!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, but you should either put on a thong or go commando. Those lines are not a good look." He said.
I laughed and continued to look at myself in the mirror.
"What kind of shoes are you going to wear?" He asked.
"I'm probably not even going to wear this, but maybe a pair of loafers and tube socks." I said.
"Loafers and tube socks? No." He replied.
"What? I think that would tie in with the geek component. I mean suspenders and loafers go together." I said.
"Okay. I think that you should wear a high top pair of tennis shoes or a pair combat boots would be great too." He suggested.
"I don't have any combat boots but I do have a pair of high top tennis shoes. They are kind of old though." I explained.
"Even better, vintage is cooler." He said.
"They aren't exactly vintage." I said.
"Well, put them on, and remember to leave them untied. Just knot the laces at the ends." He instructed.
I went over to my closet and dug out the old pair of sneakers. I had had them for about six years, but I never really used them so they practically brand new. I went over to the bed and sat down. I began to adjust the laces as Michael instructed and put them on. I stood and walked a bit to test the feel on the shoes.
"That is great. You look hot!" Michael said.
"You think?" I asked as I looked in the mirror.
"Yeah." He encouraged.
"I guess it could work." I said.
"Where are you going?" He inquired.
"Sean is having a small get together at his apartment." I informed.
"Oh, so maybe commando will be the best option." He said playfully.
"Very cute." I countered.
"So, what's up with you and Sean?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Are you two together or just having fun?" He clarified.
"Why do you ask?" I inquired.
"You guys are obviously into each other, but he never comes over here, yet you spend nights over there." He said.
"We are just having a little fun Michael." I said.
"What about Blake?" He asked.
"What about him?" I countered.
"You guys seemed awfully chummy on New Year's." He said.
"We are just friends." I said.
"It looked like more than that." He said with a smirk.
"It is what I said it is. What about you and Ryan? Have you talked with him?" I asked.
"We talked." He said quietly.
"And what happened? Are you still friends?" I probed.
"He seemed disappointed. I don't know, it was pretty weird. I haven't spoken to him since." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"I thought I would give him some time." He explained.
"That is probably a good idea. He might come around." I said.
I finished getting dressed and made my way over to Sean's place. I arrived about forty minutes before the other guests, just so I could be relaxed when they came. We sat in the living room and talked.
"Trying a new look?" Sean asked with a smile.
"One night only." I said.
"Well, it is very different." He said.
"I saw you check me out when I walked in so, I guess you like it." I said with a grin.
"It leaves little to the imagination." He said.
"I know." I said.
"Hot Shit?" He asked playfully.
"That's what the label says." I responded.
"Pretty accurate. Though the outfit hardly seems your style." He said.
"A friend of bought it for me and Michael gave his stamp of approval." I paused and smiled. "I feel pretty ridiculous, to be honest, but it is only for one night." I explained.
"Well, after the party, I think we can have some fun with it, maybe we can get a little raunchy." He said with a smirk.
"Maybe, but if the party goes well, maybe I will replace you." I said with a chuckle.
"I'm not worried about that." He said confidently.
"Did you invite guys that were less attractive than you . . . . . you know dilute the competition?" I asked.
He laughed, "I don't worry about those kinds of things, you know who you want." He said with a grin.
People started to arrive around 8:30 and everyone was there by 9:15. There were nine guys. They were all around my age, 25 to 30. I had met or at least seen all of them out at a club or bar. They were all attractive, some more than others, but all had a presence. They all seemed to be comfortable with themselves, which always makes a person more appealing.
There were drinks and music, but no food. The guys all looked like the types who were very concerned with their bodies. There was a lot of talking and flirting among everyone, as well as some dancing and a little fondling.
I stood out. Not only because I was not as fit or outgoing as the others, but mainly because I was in that ridiculous outfit and everyone else was wearing more subdued outfits. Fortunately, I wasn't troubled by this for long. I was too preoccupied with the product.
As I talked to the guys, all I could think of was how they would look naked or how would they sound during sex. Would they be loud? Would they be rough? I would look at their hands ponder how they would feel against my skin.
More than once I had become so lost in my thoughts that the person would have to touch my shoulder to bring me back to reality. Once the party was over and everyone had left, Sean and I had our fun. After we lay in bed and discussed the party.
"What did you think of the party?" Sean asked.
"It was interesting. It felt a bit strange, I felt weird about . . . . I guess exploiting the men." I said.
"Exploiting them?" He asked.
"Yeah. I mean they were here so I could choose which one I wanted to have sex with, which is exploitive or derogatory." I explained.
"They didn't know the reason for the get together, besides they are all into that sort of thing any way. I have been with most of them at one point or another or seen them at an orgy." He said casually.
"So, you didn't tell them about the threesome?" I asked.
"No. I didn't think it would matter until you decided which, if any you liked." He informed.
"I guess that was a good idea." I conceded.
"What did you think of the guys? Was there anyone you liked?" He inquired.
"They were all attractive. I liked Bruce the most." I confessed.
"Yeah, Bruce is hot and he is talented." He said with a smirk.
"You are giving someone else praise, I didn't realize you were capable of such things." I said playfully.
"I praise you often." He countered.
"How so?" I asked.
"Every time I invite you into my bed and take care of all of your needs." He replied.
I laughed, "I am so lucky, you are so generous." I said sarcastically.
"Yes, you are lucky. It is good that you are aware of that fact." He said.
"You are such an asshole!" I exclaimed.
"You have a great little hole yourself." He said with a grin.
I reached and pinched one of his nipples.
"That will only turn me on." He said and tweaked his other nipple.
"You are terrible!" I exclaimed with a smile.
"Okay, back to Bruce. When do you want to hook up with him?" He asked.
"Hook up? You mean for the threesome or just to talk about the threesome?" I inquired.
"It is a business deal. He is in to that sort of thing. You guys seemed to hit it off tonight, though you seemed to hit it off with Darren too." He observed.
"Yeah, I like Darren too. I mean he was probably the best looking guy, but he said he has a boyfriend and I'm not into that." I said.
"His boyfriend doesn't care. They have an open relationship." He said.
"Still, it sounds messy. Bruce is single, much neater." I insisted.
"Okay, Bruce." He said.
"If I had to choose from the group of guys that were here tonight, it would have to be Bruce." I said.
"If you had to choose from them? Do you want to meet more guys?" He asked.
"Well, I was thinking about this for a couple of days." I said.
"Thinking about what?" He inquired.
"Well, if we have a threesome with someone we know or someone who hangs around the same places that we do, then it might open up a door that I don't necessarily want opened." I said.
He looked slightly perplexed, "I think I understand what you mean." He said.
"I am not used to other people being involved in my personal affairs. So, I want to have a threesome but I don't really want to have this third person involved in my life beyond that . . . . and I don't know if I want everyone else to know that I had a threesome. I want a certain level of discretion." I clarified.
"I think Bruce will be discrete." He said.
"I don't know." I exclaimed.
"Do you have an alternative?" He asked.
"What about a professional? They would be accustomed to discretion." I suggested.
"You want to get a hustler?" He said with a surprised chuckle.
"Not a street walker, an escort, a higher end prostitute." I said.
"What do you know about escorts and prostitutes?" He asked with a smile.
"I know that they have sex for money. That they are professional, so they would be more detached and business like. I thought you might know how to find one." I replied.
"I know how to get one, but they are expensive. They can be upwards of five hundred dollars and they charge extra for certain things." He said.
"Well, you get what you pay for." I said.
"I don't really mind the money, but I can't imagine paying for sex, when there are so many guys who would love to do it for free." He said.
"I will pay, I mean I never splurge on anything, it can be a belated birthday gift to myself." I said.
"Why don't we meet with Bruce and you can get a feel for him. If you still have concerns about it, then we can discuss some more options, but Bruce is a decent guy. I think he would be a good choice." He reiterated.
"Okay." I agreed.
We rested for a while and then had some more fun. It had gotten late so I just stayed over. I had slept over Sean's place many times, but it still was a little weird. I mean we were comfortable having sex with each other and we were familiar with every inch of each other's bodies, but if one of us unwittingly rested an arm on the other or awoke to find ourselves cuddling, we would immediately separate, as if we had done something terrible.
Since neither of us wanted to violate the boundaries of our association, there was a low, but consistent level of tension. Honestly, sometimes I wanted to cuddle and I was starting to have feelings for Sean. My feelings were not really comparable to those I had for Blake, but I really did like him and he was a very good lover.
I played coy with him a lot but I did like the attention he gave me. Sometimes if I awoke before him I would watch him sleep. Even as he rested there was a trace of child like mischief on his face. I would wonder what kind of debauchery was occurring in his dreams.
On that particular morning, Sean had woke up before me. I heard him as he yawned and stumbled heavily to his feet. I turned on my side and watched him as he walked into the adjoining bathroom. I could hear the splashing of water as he filled the bowl with urine, then flushed the toilet and washed his hands.
He reentered the room giving me a full frontal view. He was rather hard, as was normal for him. He yawned again and wiped his eyes. Then he looked at me, smiled, and returned to bed.
"Don't get any ideas." He said groggily.
"What are you talking about?" I said with a yawn.
"I am too tired to take care of you now, so if you want it you will have to do all the work." He said.
I reached over and nudged his back, "Must you be an ass this early in the morning?" I asked.
"I think I am more of a prick at the moment." He countered.
"You are talented enough to be both." I retorted.
"I want to go back to bed. How about I take you home in a few hours?" He asked.
"That's fine. I am still tired too." I admitted.
"Alright. Now do you want me on my back?" He asked.
"No, I want you face down, with your face buried in the pillow, maybe then you will shut up." I said playfully.
Later Sean took me home. He told me that he would try to setup a date with Bruce soon. I thanked him for the ride and exited his car. As I stepped onto the curb, I saw Blake drive by. This caused my stomach to tighten and tingling sensation surged through my body.
I walked up the stairs to the stoop and headed toward my apartment. I went to my room and undressed. Then I realized what I was wearing. I wondered if he saw me and if he had did he know I was with Sean? What did he think of my outfit?
I shook my head, trying to free myself from these thoughts, but they persisted. I undressed, put on a robe and went to the bathroom to shower. I told myself that I should not be concerned with what Blake thinks. We were not together anymore. Who I am with and what I do with that person was my business. After all I had not interfered with him and Jonathan.
I continued to cite all of the reasons why I should not feel bad about being seen with Sean, but I still felt bad about it.
The remainder of my weekend was quiet. I spent most of the time studying and reviewing files for work. Michael and I played a couple of games, including the race car track. Other than that it was really calm. The week started off rapidly. I had a therapy session and a study group meeting.
On Friday I went out to Adam's with Sean and Bruce. We danced and made small talk for a while but I found it hard to continue with generic conversation when I had a definite purpose for the meeting. So after about an hour, I decided to tackle the topic head on.
"Bruce, you seem like a pretty liberal guy." I said.
"Yes, I think I am pretty liberal." Bruce agreed.
"Well, there is a particular reason for this outing." I paused as I was starting to get a little nervous. "Sean and I want to have a threesome and I think you may be an ideal third." I confessed.
"He smiled broadly and chuckled, "That would be fine with me." Bruce said.
I giggled and sighed, "Great." I exclaimed.
"Do you guys want to do it tonight or later?" Bruce asked.
"It doesn't matter to me. It is Steven's call." Sean stated.
"Well, before we talk about when, there are some things I want to discuss first." I said.
"Okay." Bruce replied.
"I understand that you and Sean have engaged in these types of . . . . ummm, progressive or alternative sexual acts, but I have never been with more than one partner and to be honest, I have only had two lovers, Sean included. So I may need a little patience." I explained.
"Of course." Bruce said.
"There is also the matter of privacy. I know that it is common to talk about sexual exploits but I would prefer that we kept this just between us, and that we all understand that it is just for fun and that we not expect anything beyond the one night." I informed.
"That is what I would expect too." Bruce said with a smile.
"Great!" I exclaimed in relief and smiled broadly.
"Maybe we should go back to my place. We can have a few drinks and talk, see where things lead." Sean suggested.
"Okay." I agreed.
"Should I stop and get anything?" Bruce asked.
"No. I have everything we need and then some." Sean said with a smirk.
We left the club. Sean and I took his car and Bruce took his own. Once we had all made to Sean's place we had drinks, they had cocktails and I had ginger ale. Sean and Bruce talked to me and made a few jokes, I guess in attempts to relax me. They even discussed past sexual experiences, a couple of which they had shared.
Bruce placed his hand on my knee and began to rub my leg. Sean leaned over and started to kiss me. Before long we were all kissing and fondling one another. Sean began to unbutton my shirt and Bruce started on my pants.
Once they had stripped me down to my briefs, they began to undress each other. When we were all completely nude, Sean stood in front of me. He took my hand and led me to the bedroom with Bruce following close behind.
More kissing and fondling ensued as we lay sprawled out on the bed. Then there was sucking and licking. Fingering and stroking. It was overwhelming. Every part of my body was burning and I was dripping precum. Sean reached over to his night stand and took a few condoms from a glass bowl and a bottle of lube.
As I watched him gather these materials I began to panic. I started to question my decision. What am I doing? What is wrong with me? This is not something I do. I am not this liberal. I am conservative. I didn't think I could go through with it.
My stomach was tightening and my breath was becoming short.
Acknowledgment:
Well, another holiday weekend is upon us.
I want to take the time to wish everyone a happy Cinco De Mayo, which is Saturday and a happy Nurses' Day on Sunday.
I hope you all enjoy yourselves and remember to be safe.
Comments:
Read the comments from the guys at the end of chapter 32 and I asked myself if I was reading the same story as them.ÿ From the beginning Blake was loving, attentive, and had infinite patience with Steven to come to him on Stevens terms.ÿ After Steven let him in and realized that Blake was really in love with him for himself, he freaked.ÿ Ran off to find himself.ÿ Told friends but not a word to the man who had given his heart to him.ÿ He ripped Blakes heart out of his chest with the precision of a mad scientist.ÿ He is comfortable around Sean because Sean will never get into his soul.ÿ He can fuck a thousand Seans because at the end of the day he knows he is safe in his own warped world.ÿ I also feel that unless the Steven character has an epiphany and realizes what he has done and crawls back to Blakes door and begs forgiveness for the terrible pain he has inflicted on him and beg him to take him back; then he will never be healed.ÿ As for the character of Jonathan, if he is real, he is a real and true friend who comforts Blake and is there for him.ÿ A true friend.ÿ
J. Matlock
I like keeping up with Steve and his life but there is something missing. WHat could that be? Hmmmmmmmmmm.
ÿ
Look I know for a fact that Blake cannot and will not let go - he needs Steve so badly. He needs to get over himself, swallow his damned pride and go get the man he truly loves, ME! I mean Steve.
John
I've been reading Sleepy Days and really enjoyed much of the beginning. . . . . Iÿwas a bit put out the way Steve left Blake for several months without telling him beforehand and I quite understandÿthat Blake was annoyed and hurt. In the following chapters, I was surprised that Steve didn't make any effort to meetÿBlake half-way. Of course, the unknown Jonathan seems to be an obstacle and poor Blake very confused and unsure. In theÿlast couple of chapters, Steve seems to be spiralling out of control, lead on by Sean. I somehow don't feel that Seanÿis good for Steve but can't be sure who is using who to escape whatever.
In the long run, I'd like to see Steve andÿBlake reunite and pick up their lovely warm and loving relationship they had to start with. Clayton's idea thatÿJonathan was maybe a hidden child might suggest that Blake had also not been fully open and also had some secrets toÿhide. That could explain why Blake is so hesitant. I'm not so attracted to the other idea you received suggesting Blakeÿturning to drugs and alcohol and Jonathan resorting to ask Steve for help. Personally I'd rather not see drugs broughtÿinto the story and if that scenario was to be played, Jonathan would then be suffering.
S.
Appreciation:
Special thanks to Oscar, Lou, Arch, Clayton, Jake, Ed, Adolfo, Khalid, Gary, Vern, John, Lance, Oz, Dudung, Alan, Terry, Paul, Greg, John J., Harold, S., Barry, Michael B., Cameron, Randy, Liam, Byron, Kris, Bryan, Fred, Tomaz, David, Tony, Joseph, Bruce, Matlock, Shawn, Bobby, Gregory, Bill, David R., Ron, Bruce, Tom, Mick, Curtis, JT and Mikal for their support, and everyone who has taken the time to follow this story, I really appreciate you all.
Sincerest thanks to Nifty and all of the wonderful participants who make this site possible, from the generous donors to the archivists and administrators, you all are truly appreciated.
Last but not least, thanks to the editor, Raziya, for all of the wonderful work.
Let Me Know:
Please, forward any comments or feedback to bonotorros@yahoo.com. I would also encourage you to visit the yahoo group, Bono's Corner at http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/bonoscorner.
Whichever one you choose I look forward to hearing your thoughts.