Sleeping With The Enemy TG

Sleeping With The Enemy

Nikkie Silk

I live for feedback nikkei.silk@outlook.com

The present day...

The wedding party was in full swing now and I anxiously scanned the guests to see if everybody was enjoying themselves. The noise levels had risen in line with the amount of drink being consumed, so I guess that was a good enough proxy for enjoyment. I was holding a glass of champagne in my perfectly manicured fingers and as I took a sip I caught the eye of my new husband who had been buttonholed by two of my aged relatives. His eyes pleaded at me to rescue him but I simply grinned and raised my glass to him; I would leave him there for a while to torture him. I stretched my toes and I had begun to regret my choice of brand new Louboutin shoes to the wedding, but they had looked so good on my feet in the shop.

My husband, which still sounded odd even to myself, was wearing a new Savile Row suit and I have to say it looked stunning on him. He is tall and slim, extremely handsome in the English style, perfectly groomed and always wears his clothes well; my two spinster aunts couldn't get enough of him. We had been married in the Registrar's Office only two hours ago and had come straight to the reception in a marquee in the grounds of a hotel on the banks of the River Thames.

I was talking to, or rather, being talked at, by two of my husband's colleagues from work. I smiled warmly at them despite the fact they were probably the two most boring men I had ever met. They were so in love with the sound of their own voices they had no idea I had stopped listening to them a while ago and was on social autopilot, nodding and smiling at them almost at random. They would not notice if I did a handstand in front of them.

I was rescued by Hugo: my PA, best friend, shoulder to cry on, keeper of my secrets and the most beautiful looking man you could ever hope to clap eyes on. As he pushed his way towards me, most of the women, and some of the men, stole admiring glances at him.

He appeared at my side, kissed my cheek and whispered to me, `Livvie, honey, couldn't you have found something new to wear?'

I giggled, because he knew the vintage Dior dress I was wearing had cost a small fortune, and I loved it.

You bitch,' I hissed back, where's your little twink gone?'

Hugo had arrived with his latest boyfriend, a pretty thing who barely looked old enough to drink.

`Oh I don't know, probably being screwed by one of your uncles I dare say. I should go and find him before he gets pissed and gropes someone.'

`Does his mummy know he's out?'

He pulled a face, kissed me again, nodded in the direction of my husband and whispered, `Congratulations you old hag, He's a lucky man.'

He winked and disappeared in search of his man child. I thought about what Hugo had said and I looked across to where my husband stood, caught his eye and smiled. He grinned shyly back and as I thought about what he was wearing under his suit and what the two of us would be doing in a few hours time in the Bridal Suite in the hotel, my cock began to tingle inside my silk knickers.

One year ago...

However hard we try to leave the past behind, sometimes the past won't leave us alone. Things we thought buried years ago can reach out and drag us back in an instant.

It had been a busy day in the Estate Agency and I was thinking about how I could manage a quick lunch when one of the Negotiators buzzed through on the internal phone. She apologised and said there was a potential client who was insisting on speaking to the boss before he decided whether to use us. We deal with high end properties and it's not unusual for our clients to check us out before committing to appoint us.

`Sally, that's fine, bring him through to my office, will you. Thanks.'

I stood and smoothed my skirt and automatically checked my look in the mirror on the back of the door. I walked across and opened the door ready to greet this potential new client. I could hear Sally chatting and laughing as she approached the door. She stood in the doorway, obscuring my view of the man behind her.

'Olivia, can I introduce you to Sam Chadwick. Sam, this is Olivia Archer, the owner of the agency.'

As she said his name I thought, That's a coincidence, I used to know a Sam Chadwick. I guess that small flash of memory helped me to keep it all together as I saw the face of the man who moved from behind Sally and stuck out his hand.

'Hi, Olivia, I'm Sam, how are you?'

By sheer professional habit my hand moved towards his to shake it, but truthfully, I had frozen inside, as I recognised him immediately, even after, what would it be, 15 years. He smiled broadly, waiting for me to return his greeting. I hesitated for only a second as I realised he had not remembered me; because 15 years ago he had known me as Oliver Armstrong and I had looked very different back then.

I managed to to keep my estate agent's smile fixed across my face and said, 'Hi, Sam, it's good to meet you. I hear you might be interested in appointing us.'

'Well yes, Olivia, as I explained to Sally, I have been through a very messy divorce and I need to find myself somewhere to live pretty quickly. I'm getting tired of living out of a hotel room. I have heard good things about your operation so I wanted to meet the head of the business. I have always believed in going to the top. No disrespect, Sally.

'None taken, Sam. I fully understand. I'll leave you two to chat. Olivia, give me a call when you need me.'

I was still shaking inside but I pulled myself together pretty quickly and gestured towards the small table where we could sit and talk.

In those few seconds before we sat down my mind went straight back to the last time I saw Sam Chadwick.

Fifteen years ago...

Sam Chadwick and his band of simple minded thugs were chasing me down the corridor of the school and I knew if they caught me I would be in deep trouble.

It had all started a year before when I moved to the private boarding school following my parent's fervent wish to try to cure' me. They reasoned that moving me to a boys boarding school would toughen me up and get me out of, what they called, this phase you are going through.'

I can't remember exactly when I realised I was gay. It was not so much a sudden revelation, more a gradual awakening that I was different from the other boys; this feeling that I preferred to play with the girls and to do the things they enjoyed. I don't believe there was just one moment when I came to realise I felt more like a girl than the boy everyone thought I should be. I tried to talk to my mum about it but her reaction was to go straight to my father who promptly beat me with his belt and told me no son of his was going to be a `fairy'.

I reacted in the only way I could, internalising everything, and to the rest of the world tried to be the boy they told me I should be. I managed this trick for a few years but inside I knew it was a charade. I felt increasingly conflicted until one memorable day when I was about 11. My parents had gone for the day to visit a prospective university with my older sister and I was left to roam the house alone. I found my way to my sister's room and it was the usual teenage girls room with clothes strewn all over the floor and bed. I stood in the middle of her room and I imagined this was my room and these were my clothes. I was shaking with excitement as I picked up one of her bras from the floor and I almost fainted as I felt the the soft material slide through my fingers. It felt so naughty to be touching her clothes and it was a short step from touching to knowing I wanted to try the clothes on. My heart was beating as I gathered up more clothes from the floor and her bed. I found a mini skirt and a lovely flowered top which looked so pretty, but I couldn't find any knickers until I found her underwear drawer and found a pair of beautiful white lacy ones.

I must have been close to hyperventilating as I quickly stripped off my jeans and sweatshirt and stood there naked, scared at what I was about to do but already knowing I would take the next step.

I held the tiny lace knickers in my hand and I delicately pulled them over my feet and up my legs. I cannot find words to describe the feeling of the lace against my skin as I slid them up my legs and then pulling them tight until they cradled my cock and balls. I swear to you it was from that moment of sensuality I knew this was what I wanted.

I ran my hands over my bum and felt the delicious sensation of the lace over my skin and felt the pull of the knickers against my cock. I closed my eyes and moaned with the exquisite sexual tension I was feeling.

I quickly pulled on the mini skirt and managed to get it fastened somehow. I picked up the bra and luckily it was one of those front fastening ones so I could put it on with only a little trouble as my hands were shaking by this time. The feeling of the bra straps as they tightened merely added to the intoxication I felt. I pulled the top on over the bra and got it reasonably straight. I ran my hands up and down my chest and sides and the tug of the bra and the tightness of the knickers gave me goose bumps.

I turned and caught sight of myself in the mirror on the wall and obviously I saw an adolescent boy wearing his sister's clothes; but what I felt was so intense I can still remember it today. I realised this was what I had been looking for. I knew this was going to be my life.

My cock started to harden inside the knickers and my fingers inevitably strayed there. I began to rub and stroke myself until I felt the glorious tightening inside my balls, my knees started to weaken, and with my eyes closed I came for the first time dressed as a girl. It was my epiphany.

From that day onwards I took every opportunity to visit my sister's room whenever I could and to help myself to her clothes for a dressing session. It helped when she went off to Uni and I had many more opportunities to indulge my passion with the clothes she had left behind in her room.

Of course, I got caught. My mother came home early one day without me hearing her come into the house and she walked in on me wearing one of my sister's baby doll nighties and matching knickers. There was hell to pay. She immediately called my father and when he got home I expected to get the belt again. However, they decided to take a different approach and bundled me off to an all boys boarding school to 'get some discipline'.

Well, it didn't work out quite as they expected. You can guess that with so many sexually frustrated adolescent boys in a cloistered environment there would be a lot of sexual experimentation going on. It was nothing heavy, mind you. The school kept a fairly close eye on things but it didn't take much for boys to find ways to find ways in which to satisfy their urges if they wanted. It was harmless in many ways; mutual masturbation and some cock sucking, but not much more than that.

Far from helping me through 'this phase' I found myself becoming more and more convinced my feelings were not fading but getting stronger. Inevitably I succumbed to my desires and found myself fantasising about some of the boys and what we would do together. In these fantasies I would imagine myself more and more as the girl. In particular, I would often daydream about being with one the school's bad boys.

Most of the boys were growing quickly but I remained obstinately small and slender. I didn't mind but in a school fixated on sport it became a problem until I discovered my smaller stature was actually beneficial for one sport in particular. I had always been a keen swimmer but wasn't strong enough to the on the team, but would always go along to the training sessions if only to sneak looks at the boys in their speedos.

I have no idea why, but when the swimming coach asked if anyone was interested in learning to dive I stuck my hand up. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that the coach was young and very good looking. A small group of us would go off to the local swimming pool twice a week to use the diving boards there. We started on the lower boards and then moved up to the higher ones. It turned out I had some talent for it. I had no fear of heights, was flexible and my small frame was an advantage for once in my life.

I was soon learning to do more difficult dives alongside one of the other boys and the school arranged for us to get some coaching from a full time diving coach. This meant a couple of extra evenings at the pool and I really enjoyed these sessions. Of course, it helped that I wore very small speedos and I loved the way they hugged me, just as my sister's knickers had.

One evening we had finished a little early and Jason, the other diver, and I were changing before heading back to school on the bus. Jason was a couple of years older than me and had a reputation for being a tearaway. He and I were in the showers and I was sneaking a look at his cock when he caught me looking.

`You're always checking me out down there, aren't you, Armitage?'

`No, No, I'm not, honest.'

`I know you check out all the other boys too. I've been watching you.'

`You're wrong, I don't do that.'

`Oh, I think I'm right you little fairy. I bet you want to touch it don't you?

`What? No, I don't.'

I guess the look in my my eyes must have given me away because Jason moved towards me and I was rooted to the spot as I watched his cock come closer and closer. I could feel the blood rushing through my head and I thought I would faint. He reached out, grabbed my hand and placed it on his cock. I know what a rabbit must feel like caught in a car's headlights. I tried to move my hand but it would not budge. I could feel the warmth of his cock on my fingers and dreamlike I closed my fingers around it. Jason sniggered and his cock began to grow under my touch. It felt so smooth and warm and I shivered with excitement.

`Just move your hand, Armitage, slide it up and down,' he whispered to me. I couldn't take my eyes of my hand circling his cock and as I watched it started to get bigger and harder. I began to slide my fingers up and down his lengthening shaft as it grew more erect. For the first time in my life I was touching a cock other than mine and it felt so good. Jason started to move his hips so that his cock moved through my fingers and I could hear him breathing heavily. Like most adolescent boys his libido was on a hair trigger and he came almost immediately, covering my fingers with his cum.

Armitage, look what you've made me do. You little fairy, get away from me.' I pulled away, unsure what had made him change so quickly. It was only later I learnt that although some boys were happy to be masturbated, they were more than happy to blame me for making' them do it. We quickly got dressed and caught the bus. Neither of us said a word on the way back to school.

I was stunned at what I had done. I lay awake that night replaying in my mind what had happened and I finally fell asleep with a smile on my lips.

Jason, of course, ignored me until the following week, when he promptly told me to do it again. I was more than happy to oblige and I did it with more effort this time. This went on for a few weeks until one evening he said, 'I want you to suck it, Armitage.'

I knew what he meant of course. Cock sucking wasn't a secret and we all knew it went on.

I looked at him as if I hadn't understood.

Armitage,' he literally hissed, I want you to suck my prick. If you don't I will tell everyone what you are.'

Jason wasn't the brightest boy, and he didn't realise I wasn't at all reluctant, I had worked out that I had some power here. I wanted to get him to beg for it.

I dropped my eyes and coyly looked up at him, `I don't know Jason, what if someone sees?'

'Nobody will see us in here, you little shit.'

I tried to look as innocent as possible, `I've never done it before, will you be nice?'

`Of course I'll be nice, I'll buy you some sweets in the tuck shop. Now will you do it, or not?'

By this time I could see his patience was running thin and I said, `Only if you promise you won't come in my mouth.'

`I promise, I promise, just get on with it, will you?' he was practically pleading by now and so I went down on my knees in front of his now erect cock and quickly stuck it in my mouth. It was my first time and I didn't really know what to do, but what I lacked in technique I made up for in effort. I was surprised by the feel of it in my mouth. I didn't expect it to feel so warm and alive. I had touched his cock before but this new feeling was so different and I have to admit so exciting. There was something very intoxicating and dangerous about what I was doing and I know it added to the attraction.

My technique improved over the years but there is nothing to compare with your first blow job - giving or receiving.

Jason at least stuck to his word, he didn't come in my mouth, at least not that time. This, of course, became our regular new thing every diving practice. The problem was Jason couldn't keep his big mouth shut and he boasted about what he and I got up to at the pool. Inevitably, I was called on by Jason's friends to perform similar tasks for them. I did so with reluctance initially but then with more enthusiasm as I discovered it brought several benefits. Not the least of them that I was protected by Jason and his crew and they also lavished presents on me.

My problems started when Jason was expelled. He was caught with some ecstasy tablets which he and a couple of his friends were trying to sell around the school. This left a power vacuum which was filled by, you guessed it, Sam Chadwick.

Sam was one of those boys who seems to sail through life. A truly privileged child, he was ferried to school in his father's Aston Martin, and had the latest and best of everything. He was the captain of the football team and was the de facto leader of the school. He had an easy charm and he was even at that age very good looking and I spent many a class dreaming about him.

He, on the other hand, decided for some reason to hate me. Every time our paths crossed, his eyes would blaze when he spotted me and his lip would curl as he called me fairy, or girly boy or queer. My reputation had gone before me and now without Jason's protection I was fair game as Sam saw it.

It began with name calling which I could just about put up with. However, it meant I had fewer and fewer friends around the school and became increasingly lonely and isolated. Boys who had previously enjoyed my extra curricular activities began to shun me. The name calling escalated and became more threatening, notes were left in my desk and locker calling me the foulest names. One day my locker was broken into and faeces wiped all over the inside. It escalated to minor violence and Sam's crew would come and find me and push me around, rip my blazer or stick me upside down in a rubbish bin. Sam would not get involved in this, of course. He kept his distance but it was clear he was controlling this. I tried to fight back but I was still very small and although the diving had strengthened me, I was no match for the bigger boys. I ended up with cut lips and black eyes and had to tell the teachers I had fallen over and hurt myself. I would hide on my own as much as possible and eventually there was no boy who would even dare talk to me for fear of reprisals from Sam and his crew. My school work started to suffer and I started to feel deeply depressed. I felt alone and that there was no hope of help from anybody.

The only teacher who took any notice was the swimming coach and one day he pulled me aside and asked me what was going on. I shook my head and said it was nothing. He kept on at me and I finally broke down in tears and told him what had happened. He was furious and he said it was totally unacceptable and he was going to my House Master about it. I begged him not to, as I suspected it would only bring me more trouble but he insisted.

The school obviously should have done something about it, but there was one big problem. Chadwick's father was extremely wealthy and had recently contributed heavily to the new science block which would carry his name. The swimming coach had gone straight to my House Master who, being a man with the spine of a jellyfish, escalated it to the Headmaster. He, in his turn, fearing that his new benefactor might be at risk if his son was punished for bullying, did the manly thing, called my parents and insisted I be withdrawn from the school for persistent bad behaviour.

Of course, this couldn't happen for a few days and in the meantime, Sam and his gang had discovered what had happened and were determined to exact revenge on me. I managed to evade them for a couple of days, but they had somehow tracked me down and were now chasing me along one of the corridors.

I ran as fast as i could but they were gaining on me quickly. I turned a corner and ducked into one of the empty classrooms. I heard them thunder past the door but it wouldn't be very long before they caught on and would double back. I cracked open the door and looked outside straight into the grinning face of Sam Chadwick.

`Gotcha, you little prick.'

He grabbed me and forced me down to the ground, straddled me across my chest and drew back his fist.

`I'm gonna teach you what happens when you cross a Chadwick.'

I closed my eyes and waited for the blows to fall. A few seconds passed and nothing had happened. I could hear Chadwick breathing hard and I wondered why he was waiting. I risked opening my eyes and he still had his fist raised ready to strike but he had this funny look on his face and had gone very red. He looked angry but also somehow confused. He drew back his fist again but then let it drop.

`Fuck it, you're not worth it, Armitage. Get up and get out of my sight.'

He stood up and let me shakily get to my feet.

`Get going, you little cocksucker. get your little fairy body out of my sight.'

He had this look on his face but I didn't waste time wondering what it was. I just ran before he changed his mind.

One year ago...

So, Sam,' I began, how can we help you?'

He had grown taller in the years since I last saw him, but he was still as good looking as he had been back then; if anything, the years had added to his looks. His hair was immaculate, his complexion flawless and his eyes twinkled as he looked back at me over the table.

`Before we start, Olivia, haven't we met before? You seem a little familiar.'

`No, Sam, I don't think so, I am sure I would have remembered you if we had.'

I held my breath and he moved on.

`As I said I have come through a nasty divorce and I need to find a new place to live. I have been living in a hotel at my lawyer's insistence to minimise the settlement but that's all over now so I want to move on. I have heard good things about you and your agency so I dropped in to meet you and see whether what I was told was right.'

`And were the things you heard right, Sam?'

`Well, I think so, Sally seems very switched on and all seems to be in order. Tell me one thing, will you be involved in the search if we go ahead?'

I smiled broadly,'Oh yes, Sam. Sally is very, very competent but I will make sure I am closely in touch with your dealings with us.'

It was what i told every client and normally would be the last they saw of me, but I suspected I would want to keep very close to this one.

'Ok, Olivia, I think that's the clincher for me. Let's shake and crack on.'

He rose from his chair and offered me his hand. I stood and shook his hand. I felt he kept hold of my hand a little longer than necessary, but so what.

`That's great news. Sam. I am so happy that we will be working together.'

I could see in his eyes that he couldn't shake off the idea we had met before, but I was confident now he wouldn't make the connection.

`Sam, let me take you back to Sally and she can kick off the search. I'll check in with her later and I promise I will stay fully involved.'

`Olivia, thanks, I would appreciate that.'

I walked him through to Sally and after a few moments I excused myself and headed back to my office. I sat down my head spinning with what had just happened. What was I going to do? Sam's arrival had awakened some very bad memories for me and I needed to think clearly about things. I rang Hugo, my PA, and asked him to come through.

'What's up babe?' he said as he walked in, `You look like you've seen a ghost.'

`You're closer than you know, Hugo. Fancy a drink?'

He raised his eyebrows as I had outlawed drinking at lunchtime in the company.

`I need to tell you something for which I will need a drink. Or maybe more than one'

`Sweetie, sounds fascinating. I'm all ears.'

Over the next two hours and a couple of bottles of white Burgundy I told Hugo all about our new client and our back story with each other. Hugo, as well as being my PA, was also my closest friend and knew pretty much everything about me, but to this point I had never shared the story of my school days with him or anyone else. Hugo and I had met when I was with Charlie. Thinking about Charlie always made me smile as that was one of the happiest periods in my life. It was also how Oliver Armitage managed to become Olivia Archer, owner of Archer Estates.

Ten years earlier...

Following my withdrawal from school I went through a very bad time. My parents were furious with me and if my father had his way he would have thrown me out. My mother intervened and at least I was allowed to live at home. My father did not want anything to do with me, and so it was left to my mother to deal with me. A succession of different schools, psychiatrists and psychologists filled the next few years. Nothing worked for long and I ached to be free and on my own.

I finally turned 18 and left home. My father was glad to see me go but I think my mother was sad when I walked out of their lives. It's my one regret that I didn't stay closer to her and now it's too late. I drifted my way through dead end jobs and drugs for a while. I had started to dress as a woman by this time and when someone suggested doing some escort work to earn some quick money I thought I would do it for a while. It was pretty sordid and I got beaten up badly a couple of times. I hit rock bottom when I was arrested for soliciting a policeman one night and got rewarded with a suspended sentence.

It was the shock I needed. I decided to clean up my act and got clear of the drugs and managed to get myself off the streets. I began to see a therapist and it was she who helped me to understand that unless I took control of my life I could not move on. It was then I decided that I wanted to live full time as a woman and began hormone therapy with a view to a full transition.

It was at the beginning of my transition but I was already dressing full time when I first met Charlie. I was working in the beauty hall of a well known London store - the one with the bright yellow bags if you want to know - and still moonlighting with some escort work at night. The store wanted an edgy feel to it and they liked the idea of having someone with an `alternative lifestyle' working there.

Dressed in tight hot pants and sparkly top, it wasn't the greatest job in the world, but it paid the rent and essentials. One incredibly tedious day I spotted this good looking, middle aged man walking through the hall - think George Clooney - so I grabbed his arm and spritzed him with perfume. He turned angrily towards me and I prepared myself for a shouting match when his eyes locked with mine and he stopped dead in his tracks. I saw the flash in his eyes as he made me, but he calmly brought his wrist up to his face and smelt the perfume. All without breaking eye contact with me.

He smiled and said, `Very nice, how much is it?'

I mumbled the price to him, and he said, `If I buy a bottle, will you deliver?'

I smiled. Yes, of course sir, the store will deliver to whatever address you wish.' I paused and took a big chance, But if you buy two bottles, I'll bring them round personally.'

He cocked his head to one side, looked me straight in the eye and I could see him making up his mind. Yes, yes, that would be very nice,' he peered closely at my name badge, Cindy. Yes, that would be most acceptable.' He handed me his credit card and what looked like a business card.

`Cindy, if you could make the delivery after 7 tonight, that would be lovely.'

I was quivering inside by this time at what I had done, but my bluff had been called and I really liked the look of him. I took his credit card and palmed the business card. I completed the transaction and brought back his credit card.

`Now don't forget Cindy, after 7 tonight, I'm looking forward to it.'

As I passed him his card and the receipt he smiled, tilted his head in a goodbye gesture and disappeared into the crowd.

Clarice, the girl I was working with that day, punched me on the arm and said, `Are you mad, girl? That could get you into some serious shit. You're not going to do it are you?'

`Dunno, Clarice, but he is gorgeous, isn't he?' I said as I tried to catch sight of him again.

Clarice shook her head and declared, `You is one dumb tranny bitch.'

Looking back now Clarice was probably right and I should have been sensible and stayed at home that evening. However, back then I was a million miles from sensible and the wild child in me won out nearly every time I got myself into a scrape. Even though I had cleaned up my act I'm not too sure I was sparking on all plugs back in those days.

The business card announced George Clooney was in reality Charles Williams, with an address somewhere in Knightsbridge. I nearly backed out of going several times before I left my shared flat, several times on the way there and several times on the pavement outside the block of flats where Charles Williams appeared to live. In the end I summoned up my courage and walked into the entrance.

A uniformed doorman blocked my way. He looked me up and down and evidently decided he didn't like what he saw. I had put on my best outfit, my only outfit to be truthful, which was a black mini dress, dangerously low at the neck and tottering high heels. I had my hair in a high ponytail and my makeup was good but a bit outrageous. One of the store makeup girls had done it for me as a favour and I loved it.

`You can't come in here.' A real charmer this one.

`Why not?'

`These are private apartments.'

`I have a delivery for one of the apartments. Mr Charles Williams.' I showed him the big yellow bag I was carrying.

Oh?' His eyebrows nearly met the peak of the fancy cap he was wearing. If you leave it with me I will make sure he receives it.'

`Sorry, Mr Williams was most insistent I delivered it personally.'

His eyebrows climbed even higher.

`In that case I will call him. Can I ask you name, Miss?'

`Just tell him it's Cindy.'

`Of course it is.'

This guy was now seriously jerking my chain. He dialled a number which was answered immediately.

`Mr Williams, I have a person here who says her name is Cindy, she says she has a personal delivery for you...'

The doorman was desperately hoping he would be able to tell me to shove off back where I had come from but his face changed as he listened to the answer.

`Yes Mr Williams, certainly Mr Williams, I will make sure Miss Cindy goes straight up.'

His manner changed instantly and he came over all smiley and friendly.

'OK Miss Cindy, the lift is over here, let me carry your bag for you and I'll send you up in the lift to Mr Williams' floor.'

He nearly fell over in his haste to help me. Whatever had been said to him had certainly made a difference.

He showed me into the lift and pressed the button for the top floor and placing my bag on the floor.. `Good evening Miss Cindy.'

I was too surprised to say anything but as the doors closed I saw his face change to a scowl. He was not a happy bunny at all.

I had forgotten to ask which flat Charles Williams lived in but I thought his name would be on a door or something. The lift stopped and the doors opened silently into what looked like a hallway with a big sofa to one side and a long low table on the other side. A lamp on the table cast a low light in the room. I took a step out of the lift but I could see only one door. As I stood there wondering what the hell to do next, the door opened and Charles Williams walked through.

He smiled as he said, `Hello Cindy, it's nice to see you and so kind of you to bring my purchases personally.'

'Oh Mr Williams it's no problem, I wasn't sure which was your flat though.'

He smiled and gestured behind him, `They all are, actually. Well, to be accurate it's all one flat but let's not worry about details. Would you like to come through? Oh by the way, please call me Charlie, everybody does.'

He reached out and took the bag from my fingers and took my arm and gently led me through the door. My mouth dropped open as I took in the room. It was vast, taking up what looked like the whole of the front aspect of the building. It was obvious that several rooms had been knocked into one and the windows had been replaced with floor to ceiling glass panels. The view was breathtaking; it was dark by this time but you could still see the glittering lights of London at night spread out before me. I had stopped dead and I'm sure my mouth was still open as Charlie said, `It always gets me too. London is the most wonderful city don't you think?'

I nodded and finally remembered to close my mouth. `It's beautiful. Oh my God, it's so beautiful.'

I glanced round at Charlie and he was grinning broadly, I suspect he loved to see people's reaction when they first saw the view. I smiled at the look of almost childish pleasure on his face as he showed off his creation. He took me by the elbow and gently took me over to the window.

`Can you see the Albert Hall over there and the Albert Memorial beyond? I always think it looks like a spaceship ready to lift off. Hyde Park is beyond that, and there's the Wellington Barracks and Buckingham Palace is round to the right.'

I nodded and said, `This is all really yours?'

He smiled and nodded, `Yes, the block is mine and I took over this floor and had it gutted and renovated.'

I whistled quietly at the thought of what that must have cost.

`Can't people see in?'

`The glass is self darkening according to the light levels. No-one can see in. I'm sorry, I'm forgetting my manners. Cindy, would you like a drink? You will stay won't you?'

I looked round at him and he seemed genuine but I was still trying to work out why he had asked me here and whether I should simply cut and run.

He read the uncertainty on my face. `Don't worry Cindy, I don't mean any harm. You will be perfectly safe with me.'

Yeah, I thought, I bet that's what every serial killer says.

`I can offer you wine, beer, whatever spirits you would like...?'

`A white wine would be nice.' I thought that would be safe enough.

`On it's way, Cindy.' he said and walked over to a cupboard built into one side of the room. He pressed a button and a door slid silently back to reveal a bar with a built in wine chiller and he pulled out a bottle together with two glasses. He uncorked the bottle and the door slid closed again. I was impressed, the wine I drank mostly came in tetra paks.

`Please sit, Cindy, it will be more comfortable.' he gestured towards a massive L shaped sofa with a stunning view through the windows. He allowed me to sit first and then took a seat on the shorter arm of the L shape so that he could look at me more easily. He passed me a glass and took a sip from his own. I raised the glass to my lips and took a quick sip. It was without doubt the best white wine I had ever tasted, chilled and dry, it made me think of the sea and the seaside for some strange reason.

Mmm, that's nice,' I said, thank you Charlie.'

`Cindy, you're very welcome, cheers and welcome to my home.'

We clinked glasses.

`Charlie, can I ask you something?'

`Of course, Cindy.'

'Why did you ask me to deliver the perfume tonight?'

He smiled as if he knew this was what I would ask.

`Well, to be totally accurate, it was you who suggested that you would deliver it, if I remember correctly.'

Smartarse, I thought, `OK why did you accept my offer to deliver?'

`I will tell you after you tell me why you made the offer?'

Ok, in for a penny in for a pound.

`To be honest, you reminded me of George Clooney.'

Ah,' he said, as if that explained everything. He grinned and said, George has actually sat where you are sitting now, and I don't think he would be flattered at such a comparison with me. However, I would be extremely flattered.'

My mouth dropped open again. A habit I know I should really break.

`You know George Clooney?'

Charlie nodded and I sank back in the sofa, totally floored by that.

`Wow, and wow again.'

A few seconds went by and I took another sip of the wine.

`Your turn, Charlie. Why did you take me up on the offer?'

He didn't pause as he replied. `You impressed me with your chutzpah. Spraying me with that perfume you took a risk. I was about to explode and then I saw how scared you were by how I might react and then I saw how pretty you are. When I smelled the perfume I liked it and I liked you. When you made the offer I thought, why not? It might be fun if you decided to follow through.'

Uh? He thought I was pretty and he liked me? Is he the biggest BS artist in the world or what?

`Charlie, now you're having me on. You think I'm pretty? You do know what I am, don't you?'

`Oh yes, Cindy, I know, and yes, I do think you're pretty.'

Wow, I thought I had to be dreaming. I will wake up in a minute back in my shared flat with the smell of curry from the Indian restaurant next door.

Charlie didn't say anything, just let the silence hang there.

`Oh,' I said, as if this happened to me everyday.

I sipped the wine again and realised it was going straight to my head. I hadn't eaten anything since a sandwich at lunch. My stomach rumbled and Charlie laughed.

`Will you stay for something to eat?'

I didn't quite suppress a giggle and Charlie said, `Sorry, did I say something wrong?'

`No, not all Charlie, I'm only wondering when the guys with hidden cameras will jump out and shout Surprise, you've been framed!'

'Cindy, it's nothing like that I can assure you. I honestly do think you're pretty and I wanted to spend some time with you. I'm separated from my wife and there are many, many women who would give their right arm to be sitting where you are. The truth is they are all gold diggers and would drive me mad very quickly. I have always had a flexible approach to my sexuality, one reason why my wife and I are separated.'

Seeing the look on my face he added quickly, Nothing kinky or bizarre I can assure you, it's that I have found myself attracted to women with let's say, a little something extra. I have never done something quite like I did with you this morning, but there was something so vulnerable about you, so I decided to take a risk. I don't normally do risk, I have spent my whole life assessing and minimizing risk.' He waved his arm around the room, And all this is the reward for managing risk. So when I met you I thought I would break the habit of a lifetime and take a risk.'

He paused, took another sip of the wine.

`Does that answer your question, Cindy?'

Oh brother, did it ever. In my escort work I had been picked up by some very posh guys who were into the down and dirty stuff and I knew they would scurry back to their wives in Surrey or Kent and believe they were still the pillars of society. Charlie was very different to them, he seemed open and honest. He appeared to be the perfect gentleman and he hadn't once tried to jump my bones.

I nodded and he said, `OK, fancy some food? The staff have the night off, but they have laid out something in the dining room if you could stay.'

Staff? Oh my God, this is how the other half lives.

He put out his hand and helped me stand. I was feeling the effect of the wine now and I wobbled on my heels.

`Please feel free to take off your shoes if it makes you more comfortable, Cindy.'

I gratefully slid off my heels and my feet cried out in thanks. The thing I loved most about dressing as a woman were the heels, and they caused the most pain of all.

Charlie smiled and led the way through a door into what was one of the most stylish dining rooms I have ever seen. It had a table big enough to have sat twenty people and was all Scandinavian chic with blond wood, muted colours and modern art everywhere. He led me over to the corner of the table where two places had been set. The window in here faced west and you could see the landing lights of the planes on their way to land at Heathrow airport.

Charlie held my chair for me as I sat down and I almost pinched myself to check this was really happening.

He moved over to a covered trolley and brought over some bowls of food. It's a salad if that's alright? I'm a buffoon in the kitchen and I thought it would be better to have something nice cold rather than you suffer my cooking.'

He poured me some more wine and we settled down to eat.

`Cindy, I don't know anything about you, do you mind if i ask you to tell me something about yourself?'

I shook my head, `There's nothing much to tell, Charlie.'

`Everybody has a story to tell.'

`OK, but I warn you, it's not all pretty.'

'Cindy, the best stories never are.'

For some reason I felt so comfortable with Charlie that once I started my story I found I couldn't stop. He got the full monty: from childhood, getting caught dressing by my parents, school and the dark days which followed. Apart from occasionally topping up my wine glass Charlie simply listened, never seeming to take his eyes away from my face.

I finally stopped and looked up at Charlie to see how horrified he was at my story. Instead I saw only his level gaze, a small frown on his forehead.

`You've been through some very bad times, Cindy. It must have taken real courage to deal with some of what you've been through. By the way, is Cindy your real name? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'

`No I don't mind. Cindy is my work name if you like, I was born Oliver but I always liked Olivia as my femme name, but there aren't too many escorts called Olivia.'

`Olivia, yes that's perfect for you. Olivia Hussey in Romeo and Juliet was one of my crushes growing up. Would you mind if I called you Olivia?'

Had I slipped into a parallel universe? Where men like this existed?

I wanted to say you can call me whatever you want, but I said, `Sure Charlie, you can call me Olivia.' The wine and telling my story had worn me out and I yawned.

`Oh God, I'm sorry Charlie, I think I had better get going.'

`Olivia, that's fine, I understand. Can I say I've had a wonderful evening and would you mind if I asked you if we could do it again?'

Now that's conclusive, I have fallen into a parallel universe.

`Charlie, are you sure?'

`Olivia, I'm positive. Give me your mobile number and I'll be in touch.'

I gave him my number and thought well that's the last I'll see of him but it was good while it lasted.

'Charlie, can you do me one favour and call a taxi? I'm too tired to take the tube.'

`Oh I think I can do better than that, I'll get my driver to take you back.'

Nope, not a parallel universe, I've died and gone to heaven.

Charlie escorted me to the lift door and said. `John will be waiting in the lobby, just tell him where you want to go and he'll take you there.'

With that Charlie leant forward and kissed me on the cheek, `See you next time, Olivia.'

True to his word, John, his driver was waiting and escorted me out to where a big black mercedes was waiting, it's engine running. He held open the back door for me and in a flash we were heading out into London's night time traffic. I asked John to drop me round the corner from my shared flat as I did not want to cope with any flatmates who might have seen me getting out of a massive merc.

As I got back into the flat my phone buzzed, `John says he dropped you OK. Thanks again for a lovely night. Charlie'

`I loved it 2 Thank u ur a gent XOXO Olivia'

I fell asleep with a big smile on my face.

Of course, next day Clarice was all over me.

`What happened girl? Did you go see George Clooney?'

`I took the stuff round but nothing happened, honestly.'

`Oh yea, so who are these from then? Brad Pitt?'

She pulled a large bunch of flowers from beneath the counter where she had hidden them.

For the first time in many a long year I blushed scarlet and tried to grab the flowers. Clarice danced out of the way and laughed, `You is one big tranny liar. So tell me again nothing happened.'

I finally got the flowers from her and opened the card, 'Olivia thank you for a lovely evening Charlie'

`Who the fuck is Olivia?' said Clarice reading over my shoulder.

I giggled, `Long story, Clarice.'

A couple of uneventful days passed and the memory of the visit to Charlie's place began to fade. On the third day my phone buzzed with a message from Charlie.

'Olivia if you are free tonight. I would love you to join me'

So sweet of him. If I'm free tonight? In case I may have something better to do, like a date with Bradley Cooper.

'Wld love to join u. at flat?'

'John will pick you up. Is 7 good?'

It was and I hurried home after work to get ready. I had my eye on a lovely dress, backless stretch ivory satin with a vee front and thin straps and a pleated skirt, which fitted where it touched. I could just about afford it with staff discount as well as a new pair of heels. I had my makeup done in the beauty hall, a little more sophisticatedly this time, and put my hair up for the occasion. Even my very cynical flatmates thought I looked good.

Promptly at 7 John sent a message saying he was outside and we were soon pulling up at Charlie's apartment block. Mr Snotty Doorman was a lot nicer to me this time although I could tell he still wasn't happy about it. Charlie met me at the lift and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He took a step back and said, `Olivia, you look positively lovely tonight. I love the dress and your hair. Come through.'

The evening was very much like the first, we had drinks in the lounge and then dinner in the dining room. Charlie was great company and we chatted like old friends this time; he had a knack of making me feel very comfortable and relaxed.

This time the dinner had been cooked by his housekeeper, Martha, and served by her husband. Charlie told me they lived in an apartment at the back of the block and had been with him for years.

I asked Charlie to tell me about himself as I had spilled all last time. He talked about his broken home, being brought up by an aunt, dropping out of university and working on a building site before rising rapidly up the rungs of a property company to become the Chairman by the time he was 30 and then setting up on his own and the dizzying financial success before selling out for a fortune at the age of 50 followed by the separation with his wife. He was a wonderful storyteller and had me in stitches talking about the people he had met over the years.

We finished the dinner back in the lounge with coffee and brandy. I had kicked off my shoes sometime before and sat on the sofa sipping a beautiful Cognac, my legs tucked up beneath me watching the lights through the window. I suddenly realised it was after midnight and said I needed to be going.

`You don't have to,' said Charlie. Here it comes i thought.

`You can use the guest room if you don't fancy the trip back. I can get John to run you home in the morning.'

I knew, absolutely knew I should go back to the flat but I was so tired and relaxed and comfortable that it became such an easy decision to make.

`Yes please, Charlie, if it's no bother.'

`Of course not, it would be my pleasure.'

I thought that this had been an exceptionally long dream but I would wake up in a moment. `Charlie, why are doing all this?'

`What do you mean? Because I want to of course.'

I must have looked doubtful because he went on. `I like you, Olivia. You are sweet and charming, you don't expect anything, you're funny and a good listener. You are also very pretty and I like your company. Isn't that enough?'

I shrugged, not knowing what to say, `I like you too, Charlie.'

Lame, but true.

`It's settled then, we will finish the brandies and then I'll show you to the guest room.'

He led me through a door which opened into a corridor with several doors leading off. He opened one and it was a beautiful modern kitchen. Opening a cupboard which turned out to be a fridge, he said, `There's water or juice in here if you want anything, just help yourself.'

We moved onto the next door and he opened this into the guest room. I later found out there were four bedrooms in all including his master suite. It was big with a large double bed with sheets folded back already. There were fitted wardrobes along one wall and an open door led into an en suite wet room. `Wow, Charlie, this is great.' I almost clapped my hands together in excitement.

He smiled, Olivia, you're welcome. There are some things in the wardrobes if you need them. If you need to go to the kitchen, the lights in the corridor are motion sensitive so you can find your way easily.' I turned and leant into him and kissed him on the cheek, Charlie, this is so kind of you, thank you.' He actually blushed a little and I giggled. He smiled shyly and said, `Goodnight, Olivia, sleep well. Oh, what time do you need to get up? Do you have work tomorrow?'

I didn't as it was a day off for me.

`That's good, maybe we could have breakfast together?'

`Charlie, I would love that. Goodnight and thank you again.'

He closed the door and I saw there was a lock on the inside. I shrugged, I was sure that a serial killer would have a duplicate key anyway.

I walked across to the wardrobes and peeked inside. There were both male and female outfits hanging inside in different sizes, wrapped in cellophane covers. I flicked through the nightwear and found a pair of 40's style Agent Provocateur silk pyjamas and put these on the bed. The wet room had a cabinet full of cleansers and Kiehl's creams, so I cleaned off my makeup, let my hair down, slipped off my dress and bra and knickers. The hormones I was taking had given me small but noticeable breasts although I normally wore a padded bra for vanity.

The silk pyjamas slid over my skin and were so sensuous that I shivered as I pulled the top tight. I couldn't resist a sneak look in the mirror and they looked so sexy as the silk stretched over my bottom. I slid my hands down the silk and I felt so excited my cock began to wake up.

Oh my, I thought, what a time to start feeling horny. I slipped between the sheets and lay there for a while wondering how I had got myself into this and where was it going. I liked Charlie but I thought this was only a novelty for him. He would soon get tired of me, so why not just buckle up girl and enjoy the ride?

Except I didn't feel like that. I did like him and because of that I wouldn't take him for what I could get. I would thank him politely in the morning and be on my way. That decided I rolled over and tried to sleep.

Except, sleep wouldn't come. Maybe it was the feeling of the silk or the fact I hadn't had sex for a while, I was definitely feeling horny and I couldn't drop off. Laying there a small mad thought started to creep it's way into my mind. If I was going to say `Sayonara' to Charlie tomorrow, it wouldn't matter if I gave him something to remember me by. Don't be stupid, I told myself, he doesn't want you that way otherwise he would have made it clear already. Then, live for the moment, take a risk, you've got nothing to lose, never think what if.

I slipped out of bed and padded over to the door. I hesitated but gathered my courage and opened it. The motion lights came on and then I realised i didn't know which door was Charlie's master suite. There were four doors and I found two other guest bedrooms and a broom cupboard before I found the right one. I opened the door quietly and slid into the room. It turned out to be a sitting room with sofas and a low table and more doors off. The first door I tried led to an en suite and I giggled, thinking this was turning into a farce, Luckily, on the point of giving up the next door I tried led to Charlie's bedroom. There was enough light filtering through the curtains to let me see where the bed was and I could hear Charlie breathing steadily. I tip toed across to the bed and moved back the duvet and slid in next to him. He stirred and turned over in the bed so he was facing me. His breathing changed and I sensed rather than saw his eyes open and there was the hint of a start as he realised I was there.

`Olivia?' It was only later I realised I could easily have given him a heart attack waking him up like that.

`Yes, it's me Charlie.' I reached out and kissed him on the mouth and he put his hand out to gently touch my face.

`I hope you don't mind me coming in here?' I asked, fearful of what the reply might be.

`No, no Olivia I don't mind, but you don't have to do this you know.'

`Charlie, if I had to do it I wouldn't be here now. I want to do this.'

He began to say something but I kissed him again, my tongue pushing between his lips. He began to kiss me back and my hand dropped down to his cock and with a slight surprise I discovered he was sleeping naked. One hand went round his neck to pull him close and my other stayed on his cock which was now beginning to harden between my fingers. He moaned slightly but we kept kissing and I kept rubbing his cock which was now growing very hard. I broke the kiss and dropped my head to kiss his nipple which began to harden immediately between my lips.

His hand slipped under my pyjama top and started to stroke my nipple and I gasped, I was always so sensitive there.

`Sorry.' he whispered.

`No need, I love it, do it again.'

His hand came back and began to stroke and tweak my nipple until it was aching. I was still rubbing his cock which felt pretty big in my fingers. His lips came down onto my nipple and I nearly passed out as his tongue lapped the tip and then his teeth nipped it too. I felt my cock growing and I knew I had to get him away from my nipple before it tipped me over the edge.

I moved his hand away and I dropped down, butterfly kissing his chest as I went. Charlie was breathing hard now and as I kissed my way down I reached up for his nipple and started to roll it between my fingers. He arched his back and I knew he was also sensitive there.

I had to throw off the duvet and I could see his eyes wide open as I finally got down to his cock. It was pretty big and I could see the head glistening already in the lights from the window. I bent down and kissed the tip of it, poking my tongue into the slit and i heard him hiss in response. I let go of his nipple to focus on his cock with my mouth and hands. I pushed back the shaft against his stomach and licked up the shaft from the root to the tip. As I got to the sensitive part I heard him make a noise deep in his throat. I looked up and his head was thrown back and his mouth open as I slid my tongue down and repeated the action another three of four times.

Charlie's hands found my head and held me there as I began to kiss and lick the head of his cock. I rolled my fingers around his cock with both hands and began to work on the shaft as I opened my lips and took the head into my mouth. As I stroked with my hands I bobbed my head up and down letting the head slip and out a few times before taking more of the shaft inside. My tongue was working hard around and around the underneath the head, trying to find that little magic spot where the shaft meets the head. Charlie's hips started to move and his cock began to slip further into my mouth. He was big and I choked a little but managed to cope and took his length inside. His hands pressed down on my head and it was getting a little difficult to breathe. I spluttered and had to let his cock slip from my mouth. The pressure from his hands eased and I took him back into my mouth, my hands now working hard to bring him close to the edge. He was moaning now and his cock started to harden even more and I knew his climax was close. He grunted and said, `I'm cumming.'

I locked my lips around his beautiful cock as I felt his orgasm erupt. In an instant his cum flooded my mouth and I took as much as I could but there was so much some of it splashed out onto my lips and onto his groin. Charlie was still pumping and groaning as I swallowed as much cum as I could. His hips finally stopped twitching and I let his cock slip from my lips. Charlie pulled me up to the top of the bed and kissed me. I didn't know how he would react to the taste of his cum on my lips and tongue but he didn't stop as he put his arms around me and drew me close to him.

`Olivia, that was wonderful. That hasn't happened to me for a long time.'

I grinned wickedly and said in mock cockney, `Glad I could be of service, sir.'

He laughed out loud and said, `C'mon let's get cleaned up.'

He took my hand and helped me up from the bed and led me into the wet room. I took off the pyjamas I was still wearing and Charlie didn't bat an eyelid as he saw me naked. He turned on the shower and pushed me under as he used his hands to wash me from head to toe. The pressure from the huge overhead shower was fierce and the hot water seemed never ending. I dragged him under the shower and it easily covered both of us. We stood there for ages giggling and touching each other.

Charlie's hands found my cock and he soon had me erect and desperate for some release. To my surprise he dropped to his knees and took me straight into his mouth. The water was still cascading down onto us as he quickly and expertly it seemed to me took me straight up to the edge and beyond. My knees buckled as I came in his mouth and I had to hold onto the wall to support myself.

He stood up and kissed me, this time it was my cum I tasted on his lips.

`Makes us even I think.' He said, with a wicked smile.

We went back to bed and lay together and cuddled until we both fell asleep. I woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee as Charlie walked into the room carrying a tray piled high with breakfast goodies: croissants, rolls, pastries, jam, honey and fruit in a bowl.

`I didn't know what you would like so I brought a selection.'

`I think I could eat it all this morning.'

Charlie laughed and slid the tray onto my lap.

`I'm just going to sort a few things out, but I'll be back soon. Enjoy the breakfast.'

I ate a few things on the tray but I was really thinking about what to do next. Should I try to slip out without Charlie knowing or wait for him to ask me to leave. I know he enjoyed last night but I knew this was it. Once a guy gets his rocks off they lose interest and then it's I'll call you, I promise. Still, I sighed, it had been good while it lasted. I'll have another cup of coffee and then head off home. Best if I could do it without Charlie being here though, I thought.

I stuffed another croissant and had just finished my coffee when Charlie knocked on the door and came into the room.

`Charlie, I can't believe you just knocked on the door of your own bedroom.'

He grinned and said, `What's your plan for today?'

`Oh I don't know, maybe lunch at the Ivy and then cocktails and the theatre tonight.'

Without missing a beat he said, `Well, it's too late to get into the Ivy but why don't you come with me to Raymond Blanc's place out on the country and then we can have cocktails back here? I can book tickets for something tonight if you want or we could stay in?'

My mouth dropped open for the umpteenth time over the past few days. I must stop doing that.

Are you serious?' I saw the look on his face and started to babble, But I don't have anything to wear.' Martha is getting your dress from last night cleaned and pressed right now so if you don't mind wearing the same dress two days running, it looked lovely on you by the way.'

I fell back onto the pillows.

`Oh yes Charlie, I could wear a dress again two days running, for sure.'

`Excellent, let's get started then. Do you need a hand with your hair, I think Martha does hair too if you need some help.'

`No, I can manage thanks.' Would this madness ever end?

So, with Martha getting my dress back to me we headed off for a fabulous lunch at Le Manoir and then back to the apartment for the promised cocktails.

I had made a complete pig of myself at lunch and back at the apartment I kicked off my shoes and stretched out on the sofa while Charlie sorted out the cocktails. He came back and laughed at me as I lay sprawled out on his sofa. I squealed and tried to get up.

`Sorry, sorry Charlie, I didn't mean to do that.'

`Don't worry about it, Scarlett Johansson spent the night right there once.'

I shook my head, 'You're joking, right?'

`No, it's true, honestly. You can ask Martha, she had to wake her up.'

I giggled and fell back on the sofa.

Neither of us felt like eating much that evening so Charlie ordered a takeaway pizza and we ate round the dining room table with some beers Charlie found in the fridge. When we were finished I sat on Charlie's lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Charlie, you are a wonderful man.' I snuggled into his neck and he put his arms around me. But it's a work day tomorrow, so I think I need to be going home. ' He pulled me closer and whispered in my ear, `Please stay and I'll make sure John gets you back in time for work tomorrow.'

I giggled and kissed him, `I would love to.'

He stood up and carried me squealing and kicking through to the bedroom and he threw me on the bed. Charlie kissed me and then began to undress me slowly and carefully, taking time over every action and not letting me touch him. It was probably the most erotic thing that's ever happened to me. As he took off each piece of clothing he would kiss me somewhere and then move on to the next piece.

I finally lay there naked but Charlie was still fully clothed. I made him sit on the edge of the bed and knelt behind him. I nuzzled his neck and wrapping my arms around him I began to unbutton his shirt. I poked my hands inside the shirt and started to play with his nipples and as his head game back I nipped his earlobe with my teeth. He flinched a little and turned his head to me and I stuck my tongue straight between between his lips. I managed to unbutton his shirt and drew it over his head.

I moved from the bed and knelt in front of him and ran my hands up his chest to rub his nipples again. He was squirming by this time and I started to unbuckle his belt and unzipped him before plunging my hand inside and finding him already hard. I let my hands play with his cock for a while before tugging off his trousers and boxers. I looked up at him and saw him watching me with wide open eyes as I bent slowly forward and let my hair slide over his cock. I let the hair tickle him for a few seconds and then slowly enveloped him with my mouth. I felt him tense as he felt my tongue begin to work on his head. I began to bob up and down, using my hands to build the tension as my mouth worked it's magic.

I felt his cock harden and I said, `Charlie, will you fuck me now please.'

He said, 'I have some lube in the bedside cupboard,' so I opened it up and slathered it over his cock and into me. I knelt on the bed with my head down and my backside in the air. I felt Charlie climb on the bed and kneel behind me. He put one hand on my buttock and with his other hand he guided his cock until I could feel it pushing gently into my opening. I rocked back a bit and he slid inside a little more. I heard him draw his breath in as he felt how tight I was. He seemed hesitant, unwilling to hurt me perhaps, but I wanted him inside even if it hurt.

`Please Charlie, put it in me now.'

He pushed forward and I pushed backwards and this time he slid straight in, there was a stinging pain and then I felt him deep inside me, both of his hands on my back as he began to push in and out. He was big as I said before and it took me a few minutes to get used to his length but then the pain faded and the pleasure kicked in. I could feel every inch of him as he slid deep in and then withdrew. He came all the way out once or twice and then plunged straight back in as I was now stretched and used to him. I could feel his balls as they smacked against my buttocks and he bent forward over my back so I could twist enough to kiss him as he continued to drive himself into me.

I was pushing back onto him like crazy now and his cock stiffened as his climax approached and he roared as he finally came, pumping his cum deep inside me. He kept pushing into me until he was spent and we fell sideways onto the bed, chests heaving with the effort of what we had just done. He slipped out of me and it felt empty without his cock inside me.

I kissed him on the lips and could taste the salt from the sweat that covered both of us. I licked his face and he laughed calling me a cat. I grabbed one of his balls and squeezed gently and he squealed, trying to grab one of mine, but I rolled out of his reach. Spent, we lay facing each other, smiling stupidly and gazing into each other's eyes. I reached down and took hold of both our cocks and rubbed my hand gently over them. The feeling of his sliding over mine was intense and we both started to harden again.

Charlie slid down the bed and took me in his mouth, gently coaxing me to a climax with his mouth and lips and teeth and tongue. I exploded into his mouth and he swallowed most of it, some escaping down his chin which I scooped up with my tongue which Charlie then sucked into his mouth.

We cleaned each other up in the wet room and came back to bed where we held each other until we fell to sleep.

I woke up with my arm trapped under Charlie and I gently moved it as I had pins and needles. I lay there listening to his steady rhythmic breathing and I wondered where this was going. I couldn't get too used to this as I knew I had to go back to my life as a perfume demonstrator and that this would have to be simply a lovely memory.

I drifted off again and woke to find Charlie spooning up behind me with his arm over my hip. I tried to move gently but he woke up and before I knew it he was rubbing my cock and kissing the back of my neck. `Mmm. that's wonderful Charlie, but I have to go back to work.'

His reply was to put a finger into my opening and to gently massage me back there. Before long he had two fingers inside and then I felt his cock tapping at me back there. I turned slightly so he could get one leg between mine and he lifted my leg in the air and I felt him slide so easily into me one more time. I leaned around and kissed him as he gently moved in and out until he shuddered and came into me. We lay there for a while and then Charlie said, `Please stay.'

I said firmly, `Charlie, I need to get to work, I need the money.'

He looked startled as if the idea of needing money was an alien concept. Which to be fair, it probably was to him.

I know,' he said, why don't you work for me?

`Charlie, i'm sure you have lots of openings for people who spray perfume about.'

`No, but I've had a thought, how do you fancy working in an Estate Agency? I've recently bought a chain and I know they need trainees.'

`What? Are you bonkers? I don't know anything about selling houses.'

`No, but you sold me two bottles of perfume when I didn't intend to buy any.'

And thus began my relationship with the man who had the most beautiful soul and the biggest heart of anyone who you will meet in this world or any other.

Charlie was as good as his word, he set me up as a trainee in his new estate agency chain and advanced me money so I could buy some new outfits and gave me an allowance until I was able to start earning. I paid him back the money eventually but I don't think he would ever have asked for it. I seemed to have a flair for the business and was soon running a branch and then the whole chain. It did well and we were able to open more branches around London.

Charlie one day asked me to interview someone for a job and that's how I met Hugo. I was never sure where Charlie had met Hugo and I didn't ask. He's Irish, gay and the most beautiful man I have ever met. He and I hit it off straightaway and he became my PA, and in quick succession: my deputy, my BFF and confessor. There isn't a person living who knows more about me than Hugo, good and bad, and he's the only person allowed to call me Livvie.

Did Charlie position Hugo there to keep an eye on me? I was never sure but Hugo never breached a confidence as far as I was concerned and he saw me in a few precarious situations. If Charlie did put him in to keep an eye on me than it was an inspired move.

Charlie wanted me to move into his flat and that led to the only major blow up we ever had. I wanted my independence and much as I loved Charlie I thought moving in was never going to work. If we lived that closely to each other any relationship we had would not last. I'm pretty sure Charlie came very close to calling it all off, however, somehow we worked it out and I rented a flat from him and I think he was eventually happy with this.

Of course, the initial fire of any new relationship is going to die down after a while and Charlie never asked me to be exclusive. He said he never wanted to own anyone and although I had a few one night stands over the years, my devotion to Charlie never wavered. I never knew whether Charlie had anything going on. Martha told me she had never seen him so happy as when he was with me. She said his estranged wife, Laura had been such a bitch that it had marked Charlie for any other relationship. Laura was a Catholic and would not divorce Charlie, instead, Martha said through gritted teeth that she was trying to bleed Charlie dry.

I think Charlie was aware of this and he never talked to me about Laura and I never asked. There were times when he would be very stressed and maybe those were times when Laura got to him. She found out about me and kicked up a hell of a fuss, but in reality there was nothing she could do. When she threatened to let the press know he was seeing me, he told her go ahead, and he would let them know about her drug habit. Martha told me all this over sessions we had with tea and cake. Martha knew all his secrets but I was the only one she ever talked to and then only ever about things that affected me. I'm pretty sure Laura had me followed by a private detective for a while but I kept my nose clean and nothing came of it. I could spot him a mile of mooching along behind me and he was easy to evade. I hoped he was costing Laura a lot of money, because it was a colossal waste of money.

I'm sure Laura was the reason Charlie bought the flat for me. I met him at his apartment one night and he was in a strange mood. I knew he had met Laura that day and I could only guess what had brought this on. He put a document on the table and asked me to read it and if I was happy to sign it. It was a Transfer of Title for my rented flat from him to me. I asked him why and he said it was to make sure I was OK and that's all he ever said. I'm pretty sure Laura had tried to get at me again and this was Charlie's way of responding.

A couple of years went by and we were happy together. The sex was great, but he seemed to grow distracted and worried about something. One night in bed he said that when we met I was transitioning and did I still want to do that. I told him I had decided not to transition fully but I wouldn't mind if I had some bigger boobs as a joke. I never found out why he had been so worried but in a short time had paid for me to have some cosmetic work done on my breasts and my nose fixed and a few other things as well.

Did I love Charlie? Yes, but it was more complicated. Charlie wasn't merely my lover, he was the centre of my universe. There was an age difference for sure but we were a match for each other. I kept him happy in bed and the gold diggers away and Charlie helped me understand how to grow and develop myself and to become a better human being. Did Charlie love me? Yes, and in a way which was unmatched in my experience. He loved me completely and without reservation. Don't ask me why, he didn't expect the same in return but I did try my best.

Over the years Charlie also became my mentor; wine, opera, poker, the works of James Joyce, how to negotiate, how to deal with difficult people and much. much more. All these things he gently and patiently taught me. Most importantly he had taught me that love helps you grow as a person and that hate diminishes and destroys you. I wish I had remembered that lesson more clearly.

Two years ago...

Hugo walked into my office and slumped down on the chair in front of my desk.

`What's the matter Hugo? You look awful'

`Livvie, I don't how to tell you this, but Charlie's been in an accident. It was in the car. It's bad I'm afraid. I'm sorry, but he's dead.'

I heard the words but the meaning didn't penetrate for a few seconds.

`He can't be Hugo, it's not true.'

`Livvie, I am so sorry. He and John were on the way back down the motorway and a fucking drunk driver spun in front of them and they had no chance.'

I heard the blood rush through my ears and my head began to spin. Hugo came around the desk and held me tight as the tears began to flow.

I had lost the man who was not only my lover but my saviour. I owed not merely the material wealth I had as a result of knowing him but he had been my guide and mentor. He had taught me how to love unselfishly and to give yourself to someone completely. There would be a hole in my heart which could never be filled.

Charlie's estranged wife, Laura, did not invite me to the funeral and I had to sneak into the church at the back to say goodbye to the man who had been my friend, lover, confidante and teacher. I had to wear a veil to prevent Laura seeing me and throwing a fit. It was a beautiful sunny day when Charlie was laid to rest; so fitting for someone who had lit up my world with his life.

Charlie had always promised me that the flat was mine and had made sure it was legally watertight. So when Charlie's solicitor asked me to come in for a meeting I thought it was merely to confirm the details. He started off by saying that the will had been read but Laura was challenging certain bequests.

It sounded ominous but he moved quickly on to say in his opinion that the will had been written so carefully that there was absolutely no chance of a challenge being successful. I was still puzzled as to what this had me to do with me as he handed me a piece of paper which he said was a copy of the parts of the will which were relevant.

`As you know Olivia, Charles had made over the title to the flat to you and is completely secure. However, he also made additional provisions for you in the will. If you care to read the paper you will find he has bequeathed you the ownership of the Estate Agency business and a sizeable cash sum in addition.'

He paused to let this sink in. I was astonished, Charlie had never said a word about this to me. `Olivia, Charles was very fond of you and he wanted to make sure that if anything happened to him you would be secure after his death. The Will was drawn up and witnessed six months before his death. Laura is challenging the two bequests to you. However, Charles anticipated this might happen and had put in place certain codicils to the will which would reduce Laura's bequests considerably if she tried to challenge any of the bequests. It may take a few months but I have no doubt that these bequests will be carried through. As the appointed executor of the Estate I will make sure his wishes are carried out.'

I left the office stunned, Charlie had even looked out for me from the grave. God bless you Charlie; I was in convinced that wherever he was, Charlie was making them laugh over a glass of claret. The solicitor was true to his word and a few months later Laura withdrew her challenges and I became owner of Archer Estates and my bank balance suddenly became a lot healthier.

One year ago...

Seeing Sam again had reawakened demons I thought slain long ago. Sam's bullying and outright hatred towards me had caused me endless grief and I hated him for it. Professionally, I felt I could hold it all together but personally I would have to do something to finally be able to move on, but what exactly? I spent the night trying vainly to work out what to do and as the light broke through the curtains I still had no idea. I dragged myself into work the next day and managed to get through the morning without firing anyone just for making a noise. They all realised something was wrong and kept well out of my way. Even Hugo reined back his natural instinct to wind me up.

At lunchtime, Hugo appeared in my office door with something behind his back.

`What do you want, Hugo?' I frowned to give him warning this had better be important.

`Livvie, this might cheer you up.'

He produced a bunch of flowers from behind his back and laid them on my desk.

`These aren't from you, are they?' I said, my frown still firmly in place.

`God, no.'

I opened the card which had come with the flowers.

`To Olivia, I am so glad to be working with you, Sam'

To Hugo's open mouthed astonishment I picked up the flowers and threw them in the bin.

`What have you done that for?'

I looked up and Hugo actually took a step back at the look on my face.

`They're from Sam Chadwick.'

`Oh.'

I was about to lose it completely when Hugo stepped round the desk and laid his hand on my shoulder. `Look, even if you have to suck it up, you need to be professional about this. It's business Livvie, get your own back on him somehow. Use what you've got to do it if you must. That's what Charlie would have said.'

That made me pause, maybe there are ways after all I could get back at him.

Hugo picked up the flowers from the bin.

`I'm going to put these in a vase and I suggest you call Sam now to thank him for the flowers and play nice with him.'

I glared at Hugo but knew he was right. I called Sam and he answered straight away.

Sam,' I said, with as much professional warmth as I could muster, Thank you so much for the flowers, they are lovely, but you shouldn't have.'

`Olivia, I wanted to say how nice it was so nice to meet you yesterday and I hope we have a successful project together.'

`I'm sure we will Sam, I will keep on top of this for you.'

`Thanks, Olivia. Oh, by the way, do you like Opera? The Bank has a box at the Royal Opera House and I have a spare ticket for Saturday night. I wondered if you would like to come as my guest?'

What the fuck, I thought.

'Sam, that's very generous of you. Let me check my schedule and get back to you. Is that OK?'

Sure thing, Olivia.' He sounded disappointed. I will wait for your call.'

I slammed the phone down which brought Hugo back into the room. He must have been listening outside the door.

`That went well then.'

`He only wants me to go to the fucking opera with him.'

Hugo's eyebrows raised in surprise.

`Language darling. Are you sure he doesn't know who you are?'

`Yes, I'm sure. He thinks he's met me somewhere but men always say that.'

`Then what's the problem? You love the Opera.'

Charlie had introduced me to Opera and I had fallen in love with the whole over the top emotional roller coaster ride Opera throws at you.

`Are you mad? I don't want to spend the evening with Sam fucking Chadwick. I would rather swim naked in a tank with a great white shark.'

`Interesting analogy. Listen, keep it business, you never know, you might find out something about him you can use. He doesn't know who you are, use that to your advantage. If nothing else, you get a night at the opera.'

Hugo for once was the voice of sweet reason. I still don't know why I did it but I picked up the phone and dialled Sam back.

`Sam? I would love to come along on Saturday, if that's OK?'

`Olivia, that's wonderful. I'll email you the details. See you Saturday. I'm looking forward to it already.' He sounded genuinely pleased. I know for sure though how easily sincerity can be faked.

`Hugo.' I yelled.

`You called milady.' He must have been outside the door again.

`Don't keep hanging around outside my door, and if this goes tits up I will blame you.'

Saturday night rolled around and I went all out for it; the afternoon in the hairdressers with a full makeup, manicure and pedicure to follow. Why? If I was going to meet my nemesis I was going to make sure I was in full battle mode. Contrary to perceptions there is no formal dress code at the Opera and I had checked with Sam and it wasn't a formal event for the bank. I picked out a sleeveless midi length white cocktail dress with contrasting antique black lace bodice. Paired with strappy shoes and a shawl, it was classy but not too showy.

The taxi got stuck in the Saturday evening theatreland traffic so I was a little late and Sam was outside the Opera House, seeming a little anxious as he looked for me. He caught sight of me and I could swear there was a look of genuine pleasure on his face as he saw me.

We had to go straight in as I had been late but we had time for a drink in the small bar at the back of the box with the other guests, and then the performance began. Turandot is one of my favourite operas and Nessun Dorma never fails to raise goosebumps as the final `vincero' rings out around the theatre. It was a lovely performance and Sam asked if I could stay for a drink after the performance. He had so far been a perfect host, attentive, friendly and that charm of his was never far away and, of course, he was very easy on the eye.

I had even forgotten for few seconds that he was the enemy. The other guests drifted away leaving Sam and I having a last drink.

`Sam, thank you for the invitation, I have really enjoyed myself.' It had the benefit of being partly true.

`Olivia, I'm glad you came, you have been charming company, far nicer than my usual dreary corporate clients. Would I be out of order if I asked you a personal question?'

Woosh, my defences went straight up at this.

`Well, you can ask, but allow me not to answer if it will incriminate me.'

He laughed, `Fair enough, Olivia. I wanted to ask if you were involved with anyone at the moment.' Wow, where did that come from?

Something must have shown on my face, because he jumped right in.

`I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so intrusive, please forgive me.'

No, no, it's alright, you caught me by surprise, that's all.' This had taken a slightly bizarre turn and I wondered where this was going. No, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, why do you ask?'

`Well, I wondered if that were the case might I see you again?'

Oh my God, what have I got myself into?

He sensed my bewilderment.

`Is it about not mixing business and personal things? I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked.'

`Sam, It's true I don't normally see clients out of the office...'

Olivia, it's fine, I understand. I really do. I hope this won't spoil things between us.' Sam, no, it's fine honestly.'

So, the evening ended awkwardly and we went our separate ways, me with my head spinning about what had happened here. Sam Chadwick wanted to date me. The ridiculous irony of the situation made me laugh out loud and the cabbie asked, `Everything alright, Miss?'

The next day Hugo met me for breakfast across from the Agency and demanded a full report, so I told him what had happened and he sat back with a low whistle.

`What are you going to do?'

`No idea, Hugo, keep it business as you said I think.'

What I didn't tell Hugo was an idea had seeped into my brain somewhere in the dark reaches of the night and I needed some time to finesse it.

I did as promised and kept on top of Sam's search for an flat. We found several possibilities but it took a few months to find something he liked and for the purchase to complete. I had kept Sam up to date on the phone regularly and it was all handled professionally.

The morning the purchase was completed a bottle of Krug champagne was delivered to the office addressed to me. It was from Sam and the card read `Olivia, thanks for everything. Enjoy this on me. Sam.'

Hugo leant against the doorframe and watched as I twisted the card in my fingers.

`All over now, Livvie?'

`It will never be all over, Hugo.'

He shrugged as if to say, Move on, life's too short. Well, it wasn't for me.

Out of Hugo's earshot I phoned Sam.

`Sam, thanks for the champagne, it's too much, we were only doing our job.'

`Olivia, you did a great job finding me the flat. It's perfect and the decorators are in today to start the renovation.'

`That's great, Sam. I'd love to see it when it's finished.'

`You would? It's a deal.'

I took a deep breath, `By the way Sam, we wouldn't be mixing business and personal now.'

There was a silence at the other end as he worked out what I was saying.

`Do you mean you would see me again?'

`If you still want me to, Sam, yes.'

`Oh wow, that's great Olivia. How about dinner tomorrow to celebrate the new flat?

`Sounds fine Sam. Let me know where and when.'

So began my plan to balance the books with Sam Chadwick.

We saw each other a few times; dinners, cinema, and a couple of corporate junkets Sam invited me to. Sam was actually good company and it was enjoyable to be seen out with such a good looking man. He was eye candy for the ladies and I was loving the jealous looks I got when we were out together. On the surface it was all very civilised but there was a fire burning in me I had to keep stoked if I was going to get revenge on my enemy.

I had kept Hugo out of it up until now but I was about to change up the plan and I needed his help. What I asked him was an outrageous favour especially as I couldn't share with him what it was for. He was reluctant at first but I begged and he finally agreed and one morning he brought in a small package and placed it carefully on my desk.

`I don't know what you're doing and i don't know want to know, but whatever it is, I hope you know what you're doing. Please don't ever ask me to do anything like this again.'

`Hugo, I promise. I do know what i'm doing. You're a star and I love you for this.'

He grunted as he left.

Sam had asked me round to his newly renovated flat for dinner on Saturday evening and I still had a couple of things to get sorted before then. A visit to the local high street got me what I needed and I was ready.

Saturday came and I put on what I thought was my sexiest dress; very short, showing off my legs and my breasts in equal measure. A trip to my local beauty salon and I was good to go. Bag over my shoulder I arrived at Sam's flat and he buzzed me up on the entryphone. I kissed him on the cheek as he let me in and he whistled as he looked at me.

`Like it?' I gave him a twirl.

`Like it? I love it, you look gorgeous. Come in and see the flat. They've done a great job, if I say so myself.'

The flat did look great; it had been two flats originally, knocked into one and then renovated with great style. He took me on a tour and spent a little too long showing me his bedroom I made the expected appreciative Ahhing noises before we sat down to drink the Champagne I had brought as a flat warming gift. We moved onto dinner which Sam had cooked and I have to admit it was pretty good. We chatted over dinner and Sam told me about his work at the bank which involved a lot of entertaining and client relationship work. I shared some stories about the Estate Agency and some of the things I had seen whilst showing houses, including opening the door on the owners having sex in their bathroom. They claimed they didn't know there was a showing going on.

We finished dinner and moved to the lounge for a brandy. I asked Sam if I could get some water first and as he disappeared into the kitchen I shook a sachet of powder I had in my bag into his brandy and gave it a quick swirl. Sam returned with the water and I sipped my brandy, watching him intently as he brought the glass to his lips as if to drink and then putting it back on the table to wave his arms around as he told a story.

Finally he picked up the glass and took a big sip, he wrinkled his nose a little but sipped some more and then drained the glass. I watched as his eyelids grew heavy and his speech began to slur a little. He yawned and said softly he must be more tired than he thought. He tried to get up, failed and slumped back onto the sofa.

My plan had been to get him into the bedroom and to do what I intended there. However, I had not counted on how difficult it would be to move a dead weight. I pulled and shoved but even though he was no heavyweight, he was too heavy for me to move far. No matter, the sofa would have to do.

The plan which had crept into my mind the night following the opera had grown like a cancer. From a simple desire to avenge myself on the man who had bullied me and made my life a misery during and after our schooldays, the idea had morphed into something darker and far more evil. I would drug Sam, set him up so I could take pictures of me with him, him sucking my cock and then for me to rape him on camera with me clearly visible so that he would know who had done this to him and why.

I set up the three small cameras I had bought to record what was going on and then I could download the video and transfer it to his laptop and leave it running so he would see it as he woke up. The favour I had asked Hugo for was to obtain a fast acting sedative and it had worked perfectly with Sam now deeply asleep.

It was as I turned back and saw Sam asleep on the sofa that I realised I could not go through with it. I sat down heavily on the chair and stared at him. However much I hated this man, nothing could justify the evil of the plan I had concocted in my mind. I had rationalised it all to myself because of what had been done to me and I suddenly knew that whatever cruelty had been visited on me could not be assuaged by the cruelty I had planned in return.

I beat my head with my fists as it sunk in that to go on with my plan would have hurt not only Sam but me as well. It would have compounded the damage done to me and I would have become a monster. Madness takes over when we forget our humanity and we risk losing our soul to the darkness. At that moment I felt Charlie close to me, looking at me and saying, `I knew you would come to the right decision in the end.'

I began to cry and the tears poured down my face. Gradually I stopped blubbing and started thinking about what to do next. Another plan came to me, one which I hoped would let me move on.

I could imagine what would happen when Sam woke up. He would slowly come to and shake his head as if he felt he was waking up from a hangover. He would look around and see his laptop on the table. He couldn't remember putting it there and there was some kind of a hand written sign on it. What the hell was this all about. He remembered being here with Olivia and then falling asleep. Where was Olivia? Gone, he would guess after he fell asleep. He must apologise to her tomorrow. he looked closer at the laptop. The sign said play me. There was a video set up on the screen. This is weird he thought but let's see what this is all about.

He would press play and the video starts and it's Olivia, this is so weird, he thought, why has she sent me a video. he then realised it was filmed in his flat, I must still be asleep he thought. Olivia begins to speak.

`Sam, if you're watching this then you will have just woken up. You were asleep because I drugged you. It's a long story but it begins fourteen years ago when we were at school together. Yes, I know it was a boys only school but I can assure you we were both there. The thing is you would have known me not as Olivia Archer but as Oliver, Oliver Armitage. You were closer to the truth than you knew when you asked if we had met before. We have, but we were all different back then. I hope you can remember what you did to Oliver at school, because that may help explain why I drugged you. I wanted revenge for what you and your cronies did to Oliver - cold hearted revenge. Oliver was small and different from the rest of you. He was gay and that made him a target for people like you. He did nobody any harm but you decided that doing no harm was no defence. You set out to bully Oliver, to work out whatever hate you had in your heart on someone unable to defend himself. I don't know why you hated Oliver, but you succeeded in making his life a hell back then. He was forced to leave the school because your father was rich and the school needed a new science block. I wonder if you were happy with what you had done, because Oliver certainly wasn't.'

Olivia pauses here and looks away from the camera for a moment before going on.

`I'm not Oliver anymore, I left him behind years ago, I'm Olivia now. Since we last met I've been as far down as you could go and the with the help of a wonderful man to whom I owe everything, I have climbed back up. But the day you walked back into my life I began to slide down again. Tonight I planned to do something to you which would have dragged me right down to the bottom once more. After drugging you I was going to film me raping you in retaliation for what you did to me. Yes, I look like a woman but I could still do that to you. I came within a few minutes of it but I couldn't go through with it. I remembered just in time what humanity is. I couldn't let you drag me down once again.'

Another pause as Olivia wipes a tear from her eye.

`But I couldn't let you get away scot free Sam. So I thought I would make this video so I could explain why I wanted to get my revenge on you. You may do whatever you want with this video, scrub it if you want, I don't have a copy, or take it to the police if you want to press any charges. I don't care, I now feel free of you, Sam. Enjoy your life.'

The video would stop and what I couldn't have imagined was the sight of Sam holding his hands over his face weeping his heart out.

I had left Sam's flat before he woke up and in a frightful state I rang Hugo. He was at home with company but he insisted I come round immediately. He said it was only a guy from the pub who was bi-curious and who was now looking for an escape route anyway.

I got there half an hour later and Hugo sat me down and I told him everything that had happened.

`Bloody hell, Livvie. I wish you had told me, I could have locked you up or something you mad bugger.'

That made me laugh at last. I stayed with Hugo that night because I needed some company, I couldn't have been on my own. The next day I called in a sickie, although as the boss, I didn't need to. I went back to my flat and soaked in a bath for a long time until I began to feel a bit less emotional.

I had turned off my phone sometime last night and it was about midday when I turned it back on. It lit up like a Christmas tree with messages and missed calls. Most were from Sam and a couple from Hugo asking me to call him as soon as I could.

I assumed Sam's would just be abusive so I ignored them and called Hugo.

`Livvie, I think you should get down here quick.' For some reason Hugo was whispering.

`Why, what's up?'

`He's here, Sam, he's here and he's in pieces.'

`Is he causing trouble? If so, call the police.'

`Not exactly babe, I've put him in your room. He's crying his eyes out, says he has to see you to make it right.'

`What?'

`Livvie, I have never seen a bloke in this state. I really think you need to get down here.'

`OK, give me half an hour.'

God, what had I done?

I got ready quickly and a taxi had me at the Agency in half an hour. The staff were quiet but I could tell inquisitive about what was going on. Hugo came out into the big room and told everyone to mind their own business and get back to work.

I walked through to the back and Hugo told me Sam had arrived about 11 and had been here ever since. He had been crying and asking to see me.

`Livvie, I don't know what you did to him last night, but the guy is a mess.'

My heart sank, I thought I had got free of this man.

Hugo said he would be outside the door if there was any trouble and he'd come straight in. I walked into the office and found Sam sat in one of the easy chairs, his head in his hands, and I could see from his eyes he had been crying. My heart went out to him but I couldn't afford to let him drag me back.

`Olivia, I am so sorry to come here and I hope I haven't caused any embarrassment but you wouldn't return my calls.'

`Sam, what do you want?' I said as gently as I could.

He looked at me with red rimmed eyes. `I watched your video and I wanted to say how sorry I was for what happened when we were at school. I know there's nothing that can excuse what I did and the harm I did you. I deserved everything you said on the video and more. I can't make up for what happened and I also know you can't forgive what I did. I have thought a lot about what happened over these years and there's something which I only slowly came to understand. I know I don't deserve it but if you could give me one chance to tell you, and then I will be out of your life forever.'

Sam.' I said slowly, I'm not going to get dragged back again.'

`Olivia, I can promise you I won't do that and you can walk out anytime.'

`Sam, this is it, say your piece now and we can both move on.'

I sat in the other easychair and waited for him to start.

At school I know what it looked like, I had everything I wanted. I was the leader of a gang and I could do what wanted, get whatever I wanted. I had a position to uphold, my family were always telling me, Uphold the family position.' It became a mantra that I had to repeat and repeat. Everything I did had to be about upholding the family position and that's what it seemed to everybody else. But it wasn't how I felt. All that I did was for show; I tried to compensate for how I felt inside. Most of the time it worked, but when it came to you, or Oliver as you were, it did not. You may think I hated you, but I didn't. I liked you, no that's not right, I was attracted to you. I thought you were the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. i dreamt about you, and about you and me together. I couldn't bear to look at you sometimes, I felt so drawn towards you.'

Sam paused at this moment and wiped his eye.

`The truth was I couldn't square this with upholding the family position. I was so blinded by what I thought this meant that I couldn't deal with the feelings I had for you and the need to maintain my position. So I dealt with it in the only way my family had ever shown me and that was to attack. I turned my attraction to you into something dark and horrible, and I tried to get rid of you from the school so I didn't have to deal with those feelings any more. Instead of upholding the family position, it turned into something shameful and you suffered because of it. I am sorry and I wish there was something I could do to make amends. I am so glad to see what a wonderful person you have become. I will now do what you asked and leave you alone. I hope everything goes well for you, Olivia, You deserve it.'

He stood and walked straight out of the door, leaving me rooted to the chair.

Hugo walked in, 'You OK, Livvie?'

`Think so, Hugo. What did you make of that?'

`What? I didn't hear a thing.'

Liar, you heard everything on the intercom, I could see the red light blinking on the phone.' Oh, that? what Sam said? I don't know, he may be trying to convince himself he was a victim too, of his family honour, for God's sake, or he maybe meant it all and he's just as bonkers as the rest of us.'

I nodded slowly.

`Livvie, it's over now, You're free of him.'

I kept nodding and thinking, maybe.

Can we ever be free? We act as we do as the result of our genes and our experiences. We can't change our genes and maybe we can't change how we remember our experiences. If so, can we ever choose freely what we do next?

I tried to settle down to work but I felt restless and irritable. Hugo told me I was getting on everyone's nerves and maybe a holiday would do me good. So, I packed a bag, stuck a pin in a map and caught the next flight to India. I arrived in Delhi and immediately picked up a tour around the Golden Triangle of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. India turned out to be exactly what I needed: colourful, noisy, crowded, smelly and so full of life it began to reinvigorate me.

I defy anyone who comes to visit the Taj Mahal not to be moved to tears by it's beauty early in the morning. I sat quietly and as I drank in the utter perfection of the gleaming white marble minarets and domes, I said a prayer for Charlie. He seemed very close to me here and I brushed away a tear as I thought of how much he would have loved to see this.

After five days on the tour bus I craved some relaxation and someone suggested I visit Goa, the old Portuguese colony on the west coast, so I booked a beachside hotel and flew down. Goa still has it's attractions for backpackers looking for a cheap tropical holiday and you can still see old hippies who washed up there many years ago and never went home. The hotel I had booked was one of the increasing number of upscale developments in the area, as I wanted a comfortable space to unwind and recharge the batteries.

I spent the first few days by the pool and in the spa. My tan was coming along and daily massages were easing the knots out of my body. The hotel also had a conference centre which seemed busy most days. One morning I had finished breakfast and was heading off to the pool when I passed a group of obviously British delegates chatting before they went into their conference.

From the back of the group I suddenly heard someone call out, `Olivia? is that you?'

I turned and recognised one of the guys from Sam's bank who had been at the Opera. He came over and we shook hands, agreed what a coincidence this was and wasn't life strange to meet up again like this.

I knew I should have left well alone but I asked him how Sam was. He said, `Why not ask him yourself? he's only over there.'

Fuck, it can't be true, surely?

I turned very slowly and there was Sam, looking at me, almost shyly. He raised a hand in greeting and I instinctively raised mine in return.

I turned back and said to the guy, `You're all busy, I'm sure I'll catch him later.'

`Better hurry then, we're only here for a couple of days.'

We said goodbye and I walked on towards the pool. I knew, I absolutely knew I should keep walking and not look back. So, of course, I turned back to look and Sam was still watching me, and the look on his face was so sad it made my heart sink.

Damn, damn, damn, why had I looked back?

I slept fitfully that night and woke up from a dream where I was back at school and Sam was chasing me and when he caught me he looked at me with the same sad look on his face as he had in the hotel. I thumped the pillow in anger and then couldn't get back to sleep. I went down to the gym and pounded the treadmill for an hour, trying to forget that look. It seemed to work and I went off to breakfast a little happier.

I sat by myself at breakfast and was reading the paper when I clearly heard Sam's voice behind me talking to what sounded like a client.

I turned and there he was chatting away to an Indian guy. Without knowing why, I rose and stepped across to his table and came up behind him and I gently laid my hand on his shoulder and said, `Hello, Sam, how are you?'

I apologised to the Indian guy, who graciously stood up and said, `No problem, I was about to go back upstairs.'

Sam was stock still and I moved round and took the seat his Indian client had just left.

he looked at me for a long moment and said, `I'm OK, thanks, Olivia. You're looking very well, the tan suits you. What are you doing here?'

`Just some R&R. It's a hell of a coincidence, don't you think? Us meeting here.'

`Yes, it is.' He was nervous, unsure for maybe the first time in his life about what to say next.

I heard what sounded like my voice say, 'Do you have time for a drink before you go back, Sam?' I almost looked around to see who had said that and then realised it must have been me.

He paused, probably thinking should I even risk having a lemonade with this madwoman.

`Yes, I could do that tonight, the delegates fly out this afternoon but my flight isn't until tomorrow.'

`7 o'clock in the bar then? Is that OK?' Damn, is this really me talking?

Sam nodded and I said, `See you then.'

A massage and a short sleep helped me repair the damage from the broken sleep of last night and at 7 I walked into the bar. For the first time on the holiday I had dressed up a bit and I thought I looked good.

Sam was already there sitting at the bar, looking very cool in slacks and a lovely dark blue cotton shirt, and when he saw me he smiled and stood up and we shook hands. He asked me what I wanted to drink and we settled down on a sofa with our drinks.

Sa,' Oliv,' we both laughed as we started to speak at the same time. `You first,' he offered.

Sam, I want to apologise for what I did to you,' He tried to say something and I held up my hand to stop him. It was an awful thing to have done and you didn't deserve it. I should have let it all go and moved on.'

`Olivia, you have nothing to apologise for. I deserved what you said to me and I admire you for finally laying it to rest. it's also given me the chance to think about what I did and who I was back then and to face up to some truths about myself, in more ways than one. I am the one who can never apologise enough for what I did to you.'

Neither of us said anything for a while and then I felt I had to break the silence.

`Sam, it seems that we've both learnt something about ourselves and if you agree I think we should move on and put what happened to us in the past,'

He looked at me as if trying to work out if I were telling the truth.

`Olivia, if you could do that, then I would be very happy to do so too.'

We both grinned and shook hands.

`Sam, do you have plans for dinner? I am very hungry and if you're free...?'

`I'd love to join you, my treat, or rather the Bank's treat.'

So, over a wonderful Indian meal we shared our stories. I knew something of Sam's professional life from our meetings before, and I told him about my transition and Charlie and my business. He seemed fascinated by my decision to live as a woman and that he had never guessed I was not a genetic woman.

He began to talk about his personal life, `I married my wife simply because it was expected by my family. I don't think I ever loved her and for Sophia it was purely a social marriage, but I was pushed into it by my mother, whom I adored. She passed away a few years ago and my father followed suit a year later.' He paused and looked away for a moment.

`When they had both gone, I felt a weight had lifted from my shoulders, and I started to feel that I could do things for myself probably for the first time in my life. Sophia and I had sex for a while but before long that dried up, we had separate bedrooms and were living together merely for appearances' sake. I can't remember exactly the moment when I realised I was gay but it was a real turning point for me.'

Whoa, back up the horses there buddy, what did he just say?

Hang on,' I held my hand up for him to stop. Did you say, when you realised you were gay?'

He looked at me and smiled shyly, `Yes, I'm gay, I haven't come out, so far as anyone else is concerned, I'm straight. I'm still in the closet, but yes, I'm gay.'

Oh my God, I would never have realised.' A thought struck me, So why did you hit on me when we met at the agency?'

He shook his head slightly, `I don't know. When we met I felt this overwhelming attraction to you. I felt there was something about you I really liked. I thought that maybe I was bi, or something, instead of gay.'

`You honestly didn't recognise me?'

`No, I thought I had met you somewhere before, but that's all.'

`Bloody hell, Sam. This is weird, seriously weird. I don't want to go back over what happened at school, but will you tell me one thing. The day you chased and caught me and were about to thump me, why didn't you hit me?'

Sam blushed and said, `You want the truth?'

I nodded.

`I was about to punch your lights out and then when I was on top of you, your eyes were closed and you looked so scared, I wanted to kiss you so badly.'

I rocked back in my chair and took a long sip of my wine.

`And that's why you let me go?'

`Yes, I couldn't hit you after that.'

`Sam?'

`What?'

`Think about how much might have changed if you had gone ahead and kissed me. I spent so many classes dreaming about you, I was besotted with you back then.'

He wiped his eye and looked at me, `Don't imagine I haven't thought so many times about what might have been if I had kissed you.'

I looked at him and said slowly, `My god, Sam, we are two seriously fucked up people.'

I began to chuckle and he started to smile and then we were both roaring with laughter, tears running down our cheeks and holding our sides. The other diners were staring as if there were two lunatics in the room. Maybe they were right too.

We eventually calmed down and headed back to the bar for a couple of brandies which led to two more and then two more. Maybe it was Karma then that the lift taking us back to our rooms would stop mid floor due to one of the periodic electricity blackouts in Goa. The emergency lights came on and I could make out Sam in the dim light. I reached out to him and then we were kissing, hands everywhere and bodies locked together. I had my hands inside Sam's shirt and his went round me pulling me close to him. His tongue poked through my lips and mine responded, fencing with his.

The lights suddenly came on again and we stopped, looked around and laughed as the lift suddenly surged upwards. We arrived at my floor and I took his hand and dragged him down the corridor to my room, fumbling to get the keycard in the right way. I paused for a second as somewhere in my brain a red caution light came on. I shrugged it off and pulled Sam into the room.

Closing the door with my foot, I kissed him and we shuffled over to the bed still kissing. We fell onto the bed and Sam landed on top of me. He pulled back and said, `Wait, is this right?'

Don't fucking care,' I replied, shut up and kiss me this time.'

He did as he was told and I thought this is what it should have been like all those years ago. That thought melted away as lust took over and I kissed him back so hard I thought I would suffocate him.

I struggled up, turned my back to him and raised my hair so he could unzip my dress. He unzipped me and I pulled the dress over my head and shook my hair free. I was not wearing a bra and only my tight control knickers. Sam's eyes were on me from the bed and I stood on the floor facing him and I watched his eyes as I put my thumbs in the sides of the knickers and as I began to pull them down I turned away from him and wiggled out of the knickers completely. I looked back over my shoulder and his eyes were still fixed on me. I put my hands over my groin and turned around as his eyes flicked down. I took my hands away and slid them up and cupped my breasts. I was still tucked but then opened my legs slightly and my cock fell down into full view.

I saw his eyes widen as he saw it and his hand went to his mouth.

`Oh my God, Olivia, you are absolutely beautiful.'

I stood in front of him and he reached out his fingers and brushed my cock. He and I both jumped at the touch and then his fingers wrapped around my shaft and his lips found the tip and licked it. I shivered and my cock started to harden as he took it deep into his mouth. I looked down and he was looking up at me, his eyes wide as he worked on my cock. I put my hands down to his head and began to slide my cock in and out of his eager mouth.

I tried to undo his shirt but it was impossible from the angle so I pulled him up and together we somehow we tore his shirt getting it off and when he fell backwards on the bed I dragged his trousers and jockeys off. I leant over him and planted a kiss on his cock which was now standing straight up. I licked the head and drew it into my mouth as I heard him suck in his breath.

He pulled me up onto the bed and somehow we ended up with his cock in my mouth and mine in his. I could feel myself getting close and I had to know something urgently.

`Can I fuck you Sam?'

`What are you waiting for, do it.'

I grabbed the lube from my bag, grabbed a pillow and made me raise his backside so I could slide it under him. All the time his cock was waving around like a demented flag pole. I pulled him into position and I lubed him and me. He raised his legs and i knelt in front of him as he pulled his legs back as far as he could. I saw his hole open up and I teased him by bumping my cock against the entrance a couple of times and then slid the head in and out once or twice before pushing it past his muscle and deep into him. He gasped once and then relaxed and I began to fuck him, slowly at first and then more and more quickly. We were both panting by now and I felt myself getting closer and closer to a climax. Sam let his legs fall onto my shoulders as his hands sought out my nipples. It was this sudden touch that drove me over the edge and I grunted and came, my cum sliding deep into him.

I grabbed his cock whilst I was still moving in and out of him and started to slide my fingers up and down the shaft. It didn't take much before he was tensing and spurts of cum erupted from his cock and covered my hands and onto to his chest.

I slowed down and pumped once or twice more before collapsing on top of him. Sam put his arms around me and held me close as we both began to recover our breath.

`Olivia?'

`Yes, Sam.'

`I'm glad I kissed you this time.'

`Better late than never Sam.'

Sam missed his flight the next day and took some holiday so that we could spend another few days together. We spent every night learning about each other and Sam turned out to be a caring and imaginative lover. He preferred to bottom but like a true gent he took his turn on top and I enjoyed being fucked by him as much as I enjoyed giving it to him.

Sam confessed that he had been attracted to crossdressing and we had a few sessions where he wore some of my lingerie. I found it a massive turn on to be fucked by him while he was wearing my silk knickers and stockings.

Our stay there was over far too quickly and we flew back to London together. We hadn't talked about what would happen when we got back and I was fearful of how different it would be when we were back to normal. Therefore, it was a total surprise when as we were about to land at London, Sam took my hand and whispered, `Olivia, I love you.'

I squeezed his hand and kissed him, `I love you too, Sam.'

There was some explaining to do to Hugo when I got back, but he was delighted for me. The three of us went out to dinner at the Ivy, on the bank's account, so I finally got there all these years after meeting Charlie. The three of us toasted Charlie that night and I hope he could look down and see how happy I was.

I visit his grave sometimes, leave some flowers and talk to him while I'm there, bringing him up to date with what's going on. Laura leaves nothing and I'm not sure she even visits.

She always was a bitch.

Six months ago...

Sam and I were now living together and I had moved into his flat, when, after an energetic and sweaty love making session, I asked him if he would marry me. He kissed me and said, 'When? tomorrow?' We did decide to wait a bit longer and do it properly.

The present day...

So that brings us back up to date. We are now husband and wife, thanks to the UK's marriage equality law. Sam is wearing the most beautiful set of silk knickers, garter belt and stockings under his suit and I cannot wait to get him alone and see him in them.

Just before we disappeared from the party, Hugo sidled up to me and whispered,

'What's it like then?'

`What's what like?'

`Sleeping with the enemy.'

The End

This story is 100% fiction and entirely the product of my imagination. If you like it please send me some feedback and consider contributing to nifty.org