Skaters Streets

Skater's Streets

cogoma@zdnetonebox.com

This chapter is for my very good friend Michael C. on his special day. Luv you, dude, more than words can say. Being in the world with you makes my life infinitely better in every way. Thanks & Enjoy.

Chapter 4

Paul

"Do you like me, Z?" Paul asked.

"You're a bit loud," I said, not liking the question and shifting the phone to my other ear.

"Was I loud at Quick Stop?"

"No."

"That's my street face. It makes guys think I'm tough. It might not do any good but it makes me feel stronger."

"What's wrong with your hair?" I asked, nitpicking my way onto his good side.

"My hair? What's that about?"

"Did you ever think of combing it?" I asked.

"You'll like me if I comb my hair?" He asked, sounding like he wasn't sure I was for real.

"No, I like you. It just seems like you go out of your way to look unattractive," I said.

"So, if I don't comb my hair and someone decides they like me anyway, that must mean they like me and not what I look like... or what I sound like, huh? I mean if hair is all you're interested in, I've got some hair I keep very neat."

"Very funny. You should comb your hair is all I'm saying," I said.

"Yeah, well, maybe I will one day. You want to go skating tomorrow if you don't have anything with Dart?"

"No, nothing with Dart. He doesn't want anything regular," I said.

"You do?"

"I do what?" I asked.

"Want something regular?" He asked.

"No, I don't know what I want. I sucked a guy's dick a couple of times. I'm just figuring it all out. I don't know that much," I said. "I don't know what regular means. I suppose it means more often than irregular."

"You should know enough to be careful around those guys. They find out what you like and they'll make it hard on you," he said.

"Like you staring at Dart's dick?" I said, not thinking too much about it before I said it.

"It wasn't like that," Paul said. "I wasn't staring at it."

"Bet me. I was there. He told me you wanted his dick," I said. "I don't think you're fooling him."

"He told you that?"

"Yeah, he told me that," I said.

"When?"

"Right after you stood and stared at it for five minutes and then started jacking off," I said.

"So I should be careful because he saw me looking at it. What about what you're doing with it? Don't you think he might start suspecting something?"

"What about me? I'm not trying to fool anybody. I like him. If I'm going to do something I want to do it with someone I like," I said.

"You said you liked me. You going to do it to everyone you like? You better get knee pads."

"Maybe," I said, not knowing how to respond to him. "I'm going to do it with the ones I like that I want to do it to."

"Don't you think you should be careful?"

"I am. Dart's cool. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. Where do you want to meet?"

"Those guys will say anything to get guys to do what they want them to do. It's a game with them. They divide up into two groups. Those that get it done to them and those that do it to them."

"But they want guys doing it to them. Don't you see that the guys doing the doing are no different than the ones getting it done?"

"I know how they treat the guys doing it."

"So, I wanted to do it and I did. If he talks about it he talks about it. I'm not there. I'll deal with it when I'm there. Okay?"

"I live near the theaters between Main and Broadway just to the East of the mall in El Cajon."

"In front of the theaters?" I asked.

"That's cool," he said. "Do I have to comb my hair for us to go out?"

"Would you if I asked you to?" I asked.

"No."

I knew I didn't know Paul all that well but for the first time since I met Dart I was thinking about someone else that night. I'd enjoyed myself and I liked being with Paul. I looked forward to the next day when I'd get to see him again.

I met him the next morning. We skated on Broadway and he took me into a few shops where he bought stuff. He took me past his house so I knew where he lived. I told him where I lived. We spent almost the entire day together. We ended up in a park near the high school where we'd both go. It was about an equal distance between his house on one side of the school and mine on the other. It was a hot day but the trees furnished a lot of shade and it was pretty nice with a gentle breeze blowing. We chased each other around the sidewalks after we'd gotten over lying in the shade.

Paul was cool. He was a lot smarter than I thought. He played soccer, wrestled, and he threw the shot on the track team. He had been held back one year and was fourteen months older than I was. He liked talking and wasn't loud at all. It was a nice day and he was a nice guy. I found myself looking at him when he didn't notice. That discomfort I had felt around him previously was gone.

The next day we met at the park. We started off by chasing each other around on our boards, and we worked out on some of the equipment before the heat set in. We went over to the mall and just hung out near the small food court. We got lunch before we headed back to the park. When we lay up under the trees to get out of the sun, he put his head in my lap. He didn't ask and I didn't object. I figured he probably knew about my condition but you couldn't miss his with him lying down. We never discussed it but it started to be on my mind more than our conversation.

He wanted to talk but it was different the second day. Gone we the big questions about life, danger, and the ways of the world. He was more interested in who I was by this time.

"You're neat," he said after he yawned.

"So are you," I said, thinking it wasn't the word I wanted to use.

"I'm afraid to ask you to meet me tomorrow," he said while fiddling with his board on his chest. "I bent my strutt. I got one at the house I can use."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"You'll think I have a thing for you," he said in a sigh.

"You do," I said, hoping I was at least half right and not knowing why.

"How can you be so sure?" He asked. "I haven't done anything and I know you do stuff."

"The evidence is showing," I said.

"Does that mean you like me?"

"You're the one with the tent pole in his pants."

"You been looking."

"Impossible to miss."

"Like I'm the only dude in this park that has a pair of shorts full of hard cock," he said with the back of his head on my erection.

"You've been looking," I said.

"No, but I could turn over and do a lot more than look," he said.

"I guess you could say that I like you if you wanted," I said, resting one hand across his tight hard chest once he tossed down his board. He wove his fingers into mine and his fingers did a little dance on the back of my hand while he checked the fit. They were thick fingers and they felt nice to touch. My fingers were longer and tapered thin but in the end they were the same length as his short thick fingers. My dick twitched and he put his other hand up on my thigh, not too high but high enough.

"You do know you're too young for me," he said, squeezing my hand as he held it tight against his muscles. "I knew when you started showing up you were trouble."

"What's a year?" I said. "Age is relative anyway. We're in the same grade so we're probably similarly endowed intellectually. That's more important indicator than chronology."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I'm about as smart as you," I said.

"Nobodys smart as me. They better hope they aren't. I told you I failed. Nobody fails."

"I been with you long enough to know you aren't stupid."

"Yeah, I am."

"Whatever," I said, wanting him to squeeze harder. "Can you take off your shirt."

"What," he said, laughing and looking up over his shoulder at me. His eyes were twinkling and I could see most of his teeth.

"I want to feel your chest, okay," I said.

He rolled over on his hands and knees like a dog. He stood up on his knees and peeled his shirt up over his head. His nipples were pale and almost the size of quarters and they were set on two distinct patches of gristle. Under the gristle were creases like I'd never seen on another kid. His shoulders seemed huge compared to my frail frame and his waist was smaller than mine with a half dozen tiny golden hairs just below his belly button. He was a tight inny.

"Wow," I said.

He pushed down on the front of his shorts. "Sorry, can't help it. Something in the air today."

"No, wow, your chest. How'd you get one so solid?"

"Well, we lift for wrestling starting October and we lift for track starting before wrestling season ends. I was lifting up to late May so I'm about as big as I get. I stay below one eighty so I don't lose my spot," he said, rolling onto his back and taking my hand like he did before.

"How do you do sports if you failed," I said, rubbing the back of my hand on his warm smooth skin.

"I failed eighth grade. I wasn't doing sports when my grades were down. I missed wresting and track even though there was no track then."

"You're funny," I said.

"I'm funny queer, not funny ha, ha. You're too young for me. I gave up younger guys. They're a bit much after awhile," he said.

"How so. I thought I was pretty nice."

"Never mind. My brother's friends are a pain in the ass. You're fine. You seem old."

"Is that a literal pain or a figurative pain?" I asked.

"Very funny. They're just always around. My house is the rec center. I had to entertain them while Craig was younger. All summer long I was stuck with those crumb snatchers. Craig's about your age and this summer he was allowed to have his friends over without me being around. Glory. So, I let him have the house and I get the great out of doors."

"Whatever do you do with all your free time?" I asked.

"Things," he said.

"What kind of things?" I asked.

"We don't need to reveal everything on the first date, do we?" he asked. Pushing my fingers flat onto his chest so I could feel it with my palm.

"Wow, you're hot," I said.

"It's the company," he said.

"No, you got a hot bod. Why do you say that stuff?"

"When do we have our first date, dude?"

"Well, I think you might have missed it. Why have another one if you don't remember this one."

"I mean one when I know that's what it is."

"Wasn't this a date?"

"If I'd asked you for a date a couple of days ago, you'd have laughed in my face. So, I found something out and now you're being nice to me. I want a date knowing you want it too, not one you feel obligated to have to cover your ass."

"I'm not obligated to do anything I don't want to do. I don't do stuff I don't want to do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be here. God, what have I got to do hit you over the head? I like you Paul. You need to comb your hair though."

"Shut up," he said.

"I'm trying to figure it all out for myself. Let's see now, you don't hang at your house because of your brother and his little friends, and he's my age. So where do you hang?"

"I met some older guys from SDSU. I hung up at one of the Frat Houses until all the guys I knew went home for the summer. Some stayed into July. I liked them. They treated me good. That's when I started hanging at the tube once they was home. No point in going up there any more."

"How old were they?" I asked.

"Eighteen, nineteen. They could relate to high school sports and stuff like that. They were jocks and probably the only way I'll ever get a look inside of a college. It was cool though. I liked going up there and they liked me because they'd just left high school and I made them feel more connected. You know they feel lost up there the first year. Everyone is older and knows everything."

"You ran with college dudes? Were't you a little young for them."

"Yeah, one played soccer and I met him at a pickup game. I was on a bus heading home from downtown. I saw them playing, so I got off the bus and went to play. Jason kept body checking me until I slammed him on his ass. I was trying to play nice but he wouldn't have it. We were friends after that. One guy was a swimmer. That was Ben Nice bod, real think like you. I met the soccer guy a couple of times to play ball with guys from his house. They played other Frat houses and I was better than most of those guys. I got to know them. One day after a game the soccer guy asked me back to the house. I thought he was straight up til then. They had a party that night and I found out he wasn't."

"They weren't. What did they want with a kid?" I asked.

"Almost seventeen year old thank you. Ben was exactly a year older than me and Jason was a year and a half older. About the same as you and me."

"Oh, they were just the right age, huh. I just see college as a big step up."

"There wasn't no difference I could tell. They are just like guys on my teams at high school. Some of them do dumber stuff than guys in high school do. I told you they held me back in school and I life weights and look pretty big. These guys didn't care about none of that as long as I could dribble a ball down the field. They thought I was in college at first. No one knew I was a tenth grader, once failed."

"You aren't stupid because you failed. They're stupid because you failed," I said.

"They said I was. Failed my butt because I failed English. I couldn't read the stuff they assigned. My mind was all over the place. It's like when I wash my hair."

"You needed to concentrate," I said, being an expert on everything.

"Right! I couldn't concentrate. My mind went in three directions at the same time. I'd get to the end of a sentence and I'd need to read it again. I'd get to the end and still couldn't remember what I'd read, and I read it again, and again, and my time was up and I failed. I'd read one multiple choice question on the test and take five minutes to understand if I ever understood. I never finished a test and all we did was take tests on assigned reading. Not my specialty. I could do it when a teacher talked because I could remember what she said."

"That's bogus," I said. "Why couldn't you understand it if you read it?" I asked. "You're plenty smart enough. You must have been trying to fail."

"Brain farts," he said seriously. "My brain blows hot air while I'm trying to think. I end up thinking about the hot air. Vicious circle. Let's talk about something else, okay. It's another month before we go back to school."

"You're not stupid," I said. "You're not. I know you're not even if you don't know your not. You're not. Not!"

"Right! That's why all my report cards say, Paul doesn't apply himself. Paul could do better. Paul doesn't pay attention. Paul, Paul, Paul. Paul's retarded," he said, letting go of my hand and rolling away from me. "Paul doesn't want to think about this. Paul's got to go back to school in a few weeks. God I hate school. My old man knows a guy that has an auto body shop. He's going to get me on there if I'm flunking this year. I'll be able to quit school before they fail me again."

"Thanks a lot. I thought we might have some classes together," I said. "I was just thinking that would be cool."

"Oh, you're taking remedial basket weaving too, as in also, not one two?"

"Very funny."

"Truth hurts. I'm not hanging around to fail again."

"Then we won't be able to see each other in school. Don't drop."

"Why do you care. You want to be with Dart," he said, throwing it out like that's what we were talking about the entire time.

"Dart doesn't want to be with me. I'd like being with you," I said.

"You don't know what you want," Paul said.

"I never said I knew anything. I'm trying to learn. So what about these guys. What happened with them?"

"We matched up well. I told you I was horny all the time and guess what, so were they. It's practically all those guys ever talk about. At first I was hot all the time listening to them talk about all the girls they fucked and wanted to fuck and where they fucked them. College guys aren't bashful. They always have porn flicks on the television. Guys sitting around making rude comments about what they'd do talking about what they'd done. They're funny. I was plenty horny by the time I'd get up there on Friday nights. I'd make myself go without from Wednesday on just so I'd be ready."

"You were having sex with old guys?"

"I told you they weren't no different than me. It was like being a junior on an all senior team. By the time you get to the end of the season no one remembers you're a grade back. You're a team."

"I'd remember I was if I was doing it with college guys. When you taking me up there with you? I want to meet them."

"School starts in a month. I don't know they'd let you in. You're young," he said. "I played soccer and stuff but you look young. They weren't looking to be with no kids."

"I'm a year younger than you. If you're just like them why aren't I," I said. "I want to know stuff. Doesn't mean I'll do anything. I do want anything to do with adult guys that way."

"I told you they're just kids. Some guys look in their twenties and some guys look sixteen. That's why they didn't know I was in high school. Ben started college at seventeen. I was like you. I wanted to find out things. I found out plenty. If you really want to go with me I don't care but they might. Maybe in the afternoon when only a few guys are up there."

"What did you find out?" I asked.

"Nineteen and twenty years old like what sixteen year olds like. I had a better body and a bigger dick than most of those guys. Most of them knew I played soccer on the quad. They put two and two together and figured I went there. I guess I could say you were my brother. If you were with me they'd think you were okay. Once guys get drunk they don't think about your age, dude. So, if you go up, you can't be doing shit with them."

"You said eighteen," I said. "We're slowly getting with really old dude's here. Twenty. I don't got nothing for no twenty year old."

"Twenty-one, twenty-two."

"Are they still doing sex at twenty-two? I thought they went through some change of life or something," I said.

"That's women at fifty. Yes, they still do it when they're in there twenties, Z. They were college guys that partied together. Up to twenty-two I think. I didn't card anyone. They didn't ask me my age."

"I thought guys worked too much to want it at that age. Wives are always complaining on television about not getting it enough. I thought they stopped doing it or something."

"It's all they talk about at the house. Once I even tried it with a chick up there at an allnighter. She complained. I wasn't interested anyway. I was just trying to prove to them that I was straight, I think. I don't know what I was doing. Prove something to them, to me, just figure out what I felt. I'd been with Jason and Ben enough that they knew I wasn't straight. The rest of them didn't know shit. That's the two guys that picked me up."

"What did she complain about?"

"You don't want to know. Quit asking so many questions. I'm not proud of some of the stuff I done," he said. "You shouldn't follow in my footsteps. Besides, I wear size thirteen and a half shoes. You look like about a nine."

"We're talking about my shoes now?"

"Very funny," he said. "In that case you look like about a six."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Shut up," he said.

"What did she complain about, Paul?"

"It's too big. It's too big. Take it out," he said in a squeaky high voice. "It wasn't all that much anyway. Her saying that just got guys interested in what I had down there. I had to give them a viewing. Before that I'd just been with the two. I met Carter that night. He wanted to feel it. He was intense, engaged, and this really straight guy. He had a secret he wanted to tell me about. No one knows about him but me."

"No one is that big," I said, still working with the girl.

"Yeah, well, someone told me she'd told a guy a few weeks before that it was too small, it's too small, so maybe she just liked complaining. She was popular the night she was up there. Once guys get enough to drink they'll do it with anyone. Stand in line for it and not care who sees their business. You get to see some good stuff."

"So you did it with a girl. You think you're straight or not?" I asked. "They say all gay guys need is to get with one good woman."

"Do I look like I think I'm straight?" Paul said.

"I don't know. What does it look like to be straight?"

"Well, I'll give you a clue, I'd be lying out here talking to some chick and not answering any questions about the guys I've been with, and that's what it's like when you look straight."

"Okay, you're not straight, but I'm out here talking to you and I'm not sure I'm gay," I said. "I'm sure I like Dart and what he likes me to do but I'm not sure I don't want to try it with a girl. I've never been in that kind of a situation. I might try it like you did."

"There's less pressure on you if you're straight. I think I'd rather be straight," he said. "I mean its cool. I have no complaints but I still worry people will find out."

"So choose that," I said.

"Can you choose not to do it with Dart?"

"Sure," I said. "I do it with Dart cause I like the way it makes me feel."

"That's the wrong question. You can choose to do it with someone or not to do it with someone. You can't choose it when you like guys and not girls. You just do. I don't want to like guys. I don't want to like Dart's dick. I did it with that girl to see if I could, and I could, but I didn't feel nothing," he said. "No excitement at all, I mean. It was like getting five pounds of ground round and putting your dick in it. That's how exciting it was for me. It was more exciting having guys standing around watching me."

"You need five. I only need one," I said.

"You're really bad, Z. Very funny. I can't help it."

"You had to be hard to fuck her," I said. "You must have been turned on."

"I'd been with Jason and Ben for an hour before that. I hadn't popped off yet. I can make it last if I want. There were two guys naked trying to get with her, rubbing against me, rubbing their dicks on me. I was plenty turned on, just not to her. That's what I knew after that night. I thought maybe I could. I'd just never tried before. After what she said, I don't ever want to try again. I'll stick to guys. They treat me like I'm someone they like."

"Or like you got something they want?" I said.

"That too. No power like the power of the pecker. I can live with it."

"What about the AIDS?" I asked.

"You use precaution. It's preventable. You get those little pamphlets out of the nurses office and you find out what to do and what not to do."

"Yeah, and then she knows your fooling around with guys, right?" I said, not buying that one.

"You can get it from girls, Z."

"You can?" I asked. "All those people dying and its preventable? That don't make a lot of sense to me. Why don't they do something about it?"

"No one has to get sick or pregnant if they protect themselves. I protect myself and I read all the pamphlets in the nurse's office before I started fooling around. I'd take one every time I went down there. Took awhile to read all of them."

"I thought you couldn't read? What's that about?"

"Quit making stuff up, Z. I said I can't concentrate. A pamphlet every day and in a week or two I read them all. I kept 'em if you want them. I've checked the information out and it's right. Jason and Ben said it was. They don't do nothin without protection."

"They protect themselves?" I asked.

"Mostly," he said.

"With you?"

"Always," he said. "Why don't you listen to me? I found out before I started doing stuff."

"I'm just making sure. You use a rubber with that girl?"

"Z, I already told you, now cut it out. You trying to fuck with my head?"

"I'm curious, that's all. I don't know this stuff."

"I gave them to my brother to read. They're in his room. I'll let you see them."

"You're brother. He has sex?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Z. You'll have to ask Craig what he does. I stopped taking notes."

"You said you were with his friends."

"Let's change the subject. I'm not with them any more. I didn't start that. You don't need to know everything."

"So you are gay and that's that, huh? You don't think it's a stage or nothing like that?"

"It's not easy needing to hide it from people you hang with, especially with guys like Dart trying to find out who he can get to do what," he said. "You don't go through that unless you're gay. Life is easier for straight guys because they can let people know they're straight. Stages aren't what's happening with me."

"I don't think it's easy on anyone. Dart doesn't know what he wants. His dick gets hard he wants it done. That's what he knows," I said. "In a way that's sad. Sex ought to be more than that."

"I thought you liked him so much," Paul said.

"I like what he makes me feel. I didn't say it was smart. It's the way it is. You don't half listen either. I don't like it he hurts people and doesn't care about it. I like him though. He's like a little lost boy."

"Dart's better than some. You say he said he wouldn't tell?"

"So don't let him get you to do anything he can tell about and you ain't got to worry none," I said, feeling a flash of anger at his thought.

"Look who's talking? I could give you the same advice."

"Yeah, but I'm not worried about Dart. He's cool and he won't say anything. You're worried about Dart and other people finding out about you."

"I've seen what they do to gay guys. I hope you're right, Z. He starts running off at the mouth once you stop giving him what he wants, I've got a feeling everyone will know about you. I'm not saying he will, I'm saying if he does."

"You know, I'm not worried about it. If it happens I'll deal with it."

"If you were a girl you'd be dealing with getting pregnant," he said.

"No, I wouldn't. I'd use a rubber and I'd be on birth control."

"Guys don't like rubbers," Paul said.

"You don't?"

"They break."

"If I were a girl you wouldn't be getting none off me. It might rain, wear your rubbers, my momma always says."

"You aren't a girl," Paul said.

"How could you tell?" I asked.

"Never mind," he said, turning his head so he could look at my face. "You still want to go out with me?"

"What's that about?"

"I told you the worst of it. If you still want to go out with me I'll figure we have a chance of being friends," he said. "I don't do it as much as I could."

"When? Where? You know about Dart and still want to go out with me, right? So I know about Ben and Jerry and I still want to go out with you," I said as he rolled over onto his stomach so he could look into my eyes.

"Ben and Jason and Clark. I don't care about Dart. I care about you," he said, taking his eyes out of mine when he said he cared. He looked around like I wasn't there. I could see him thinking.

"We don't even know each other," I said, working on the part about him caring and not sure I understood him. "I think we could like each other. I don't see why we can't."

"What do I have to know? I like you. How many guys can someone like? And if you like someone if you make an effort you accept what comes of it."

"You attracted to me, Paul?" I asked because it was suddenly important to me that he was.

"Geeze Louise! What do you want from me? I like you," he said. "Okay!"

"No, that's different. I know you like me. Are you attracted to me?"

Paul sat up and looked at me. When I looked at him, he looked away.

"Are you?" I asked, wanting an answer.

"You're serious? You're not going to make another joke about me liking you?"

"Paul, it's a simple question. Isn't it?"

"No, it isn't a simple question. I like you and I like looking at you."

"Why do you keep looking away if you like looking at me?" I asked.

"I don't know. You make me nervous. You make me feel embarrassed about liking you," he said. "Because I want to look. I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking. What do you think?"

"I like you. I think your funny. I think you have a habit of making things more complicated than they actually are, but I like being with you. I feel comfortable around you because you are older. I feel like I can trust you," I said.

"Are you attracted to me?" He asked, turning the tables.

"I'm not sure what that means," I said.

"Are you?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Exactly," Paul said. "I'm not attracted to the guys up at State. I like going up there and I like the way they treat me. It's like I'm one of them and they don't care about anything else. I like what we do, but there isn't anyone I want to be with. I just want to have a few beers, have some fun, and come home. With you I'd want to have some fun and stay the night. Is that attraction?"

"You want to have sex?" I deducted.

"No, I want to make love," he said.

"What's the dif?" I asked.

"Love is more than sex. Sex is biology. Love is emotion. Combine the two, bingo."

"You complicate everything," I said exasperated.

"You're young," he said. "When you experience love the first time, you'll recognize it. It can't be denied."

"You've been in love?" I asked.

"No, not yet," he said, looking away from me again.

"How do you know what it is?" I asked, suspicious. "You make this stuff up as you go along."

"I don't," he said.

"You just told me what it was, Paul."

"I never told you what it was. I told you the mechanics because I've had plenty of sex and I know what that is and I know there would be a difference if I had sex with someone I loved. Do I need to be a rocket scientist to know what's missing?"

"I don't think so. So, I get a rush from Dart but that isn't love. It's what?"

"It's biology. You're satisfying an urge with Dart. He makes you feel something you like. Probably intensity. I like guys that are intense."

"So, if that's biology, what is it when you hold my hand and I get dizzy and horny from that?" I asked.

He smiled, looking away, squinting from looking into the sun.

"Well?" I questioned.

"You did that?" He asked, seeming real happy with himself as he played with my fingers and spent a lot of time not looking in my eyes.

"Well?"

"It means you're attracted to me," he said. "I was hoping you were. I got dizzy when I held your hand. Good dizzy not drunk dizzy."

He looked at me with the most curious smile on his face.

"You got something else too," I said. "I checked."

"That's always that way. You don't get credit for every woody I get. I do like you, Z. Maybe most of todays belong to you. I mean if it doesn't sound too gross."

"I don't know anyone has liked me that way before. Not that gross to me," I said. "I'm still learning this stuff. The more time I spend with you the more I like you though. I thought I was too young to be liking on someone already."

"More than Dart?" He asked.

"Different than Dart. When I'm with Dart I want to be getting down to it. Something about seeing him wanting it and knowing what it does for him. I like what it makes me feel."

"I can want it just as much as him any time you say," he said. "You just let me know."

"Right here?" I asked, and he started to unfasten his pants as two old ladies walked past.

"No. I didn't say right here," I said.

"You did too. You said, right here. You don't know what you say, do you?"

"I said, Right here? That's a question, not a request. Not here, Paul. I don't know I like you that way yet," I lied, trying to hide my erection. "I'm still thinking on that."

"You like me that way. Look at your shorts. You're dripping in your drawers for me, Z. You want me bad. You know you want me."

"How do you know if I'm dripping or not?" I asked, sounding offended.

"You just told me," he said. "I can wait, Z. I've nothing but time if you like me."

My heart started pounding as I looked at him. I did like him just fine.

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