Sins and Saviors

Sins and Saviors by DCG

########## DISCLAIMER ##########

I do not know anyone, NSync or otherwise in this story and therefore it is pure fiction and that's not a word of a lie...If you are not allowed or choose not to read this for whatever reason, then please leave (i.e. Not old enough by law, don't like the M/M content and so on and so forth)

BIG SHOUT OUT: I have to do this cause I think your all fab...Big shout out to the three who are gonna proof-read and opinionate me on the upcoming chapters so thanks to Blake and Jimmy and Chris for Guinea pigging for me...

Also much thanks to Blake and Jimmy again and ry, Danny ,Shazam21 and Chris for the encouraging feedback...

Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter...and much thanks to the people who responded and gave me a bloated head with the praise, it's not deserved!! but I luv you all Anyhoo..

I do have an idea of who I will have as Jonathan's beau, but I am open to further suggestions, but as of now, I am pretty much set, although I have had it brought to my attention by Jimmy that I could use any one of a few, so you never know!!(Cheers Jimbob) I plan on creating a story arc for every member of theband, with the distinct likelihood of another member or two of the five piece batting for the other team. Also, I am not fully up to date with the activities of the band on a daily basis as I do not live in the US and don't get to see TRL and the like very often...I have to rely on second hand info from my best friend in DC. So if any info is off, accept my apologies, but please don't tell me about it too much...I am also going to do a cheesy `What happened last time' moment in each chapter as-well.

As far as sex goes, it will come, and everyone will have it, but just not in this chapter...

P.S. - Please note the words 'Cheese' and 'Corny' when reading this chapter LOL...

P.P.S - Oh, and it will skit from one place to another quite often in this chapter so please bear that in mind when you are writing that email...lol

############## Last time in `Sins & Saviors' ########

"Who the fuck are you?" screamed JC in a rage as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the emergency services.

Jonathan didn't have the energy to speak. His outburst that had brought JC to their side had nearly sent Jon over the edge. He had just realized that during the entire ordeal he had been putting weight onto his broken limbs and they were numb. He was feeling numb. `Speak!' ran over and over in his mind as he fought to raise his head to this man.

`Thank god he has a phone, ring an ambulance, please ring an ambulance!' pleaded Jon internally...

"I asked you a fucking question, what have you done to my best friend?" hollered JC, who by now was in a rage

Jon couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he had difficulty thinking straight, he didn't even know if this was real anymore. All he knew was that Justin was going to be safe, and that now he knew what Natalie felt. But before he could close his eyes and succumb to the pain, he felt the mans hand grab his broken arm, the pain shocking Jon back to reality. He saw the look of rage in JC's eyes but could do nothing about it. He just remembered hearing the sound of a siren in the distance, a numb feeling in his back as he was shoved against the hood of the car and the look of blackness as he finally slipped into unconsciousness.

And now the continuing story...

Chapter 2 - `Cold Coffee'

The ICU was quiet, extremely quiet and that was the way Dr Adams liked it. He was sat in his office listening to his CD player while he grasped onto the nearest second of peace before the next patient entered or a present one required attention. Dr Adams was an attractive man in his mid to late twenties who seemed too young to be doing what he was there for. He had a head of blond hair that occasionally flicked into his eyes as the curtains he had swayed in the breeze. His eyes were and still are a deep shade of blue, like pools of crystal ocean relaxing in the day. But today he was slightly troubled. A new patient had arrived a while previously and he knew him. He was a friend of his and a close confidant. He was Jonathan Harrison.

The soft and heart rendering music did not register in Carl's mind as he listened. He was busy questioning himself, and questioning Jonathan. `What happened?' was the most obvious question. The two uniformed police officers guarding the path to his room were the trigger to the question. "He's in there!" was all Carl was allowed to say to the officers before they turned to guard the room, making it perfectly clear that any further questions would be an irritation. Carl knew by the extent of his injuries, the internal bleeding, the broken limbs, that it was something big, and therefore something out of his hands, he learned that it was called in as aggravated assault. But if it was, why were the officers guarding Jonathan's room, surely it should be the person or persons who did this to him, it was so confusing. It was all confusing, and to top it all off, TV stations from across the country were bearing down on the hospital. Carl saw this when he arrived back after a long overdue couple of hours sleep in the staff lounge. It was just before he arrived back to discover Jonathan had arrived and undergone surgery. He had walked down the long corridor towards the ICU and it was littered with all manner of TV and radio crews waiting for some kind of exclusive.

`There's no point listening to this!' exclaimed Carl as he pulled the headphones from atop his head and let them dangle around his neck. He smiled for a moment as he heard the utter silence of the ICU cascade over him.

Suddenly and without warning the door to his office opened. It didn't open violently or harshly, it was just the utter silence of the surroundings added to it's effect. Carl proceeded to nearly tip off the edge of the chair in fright before Steve, a porter in the hospital poked his head around the corner to see the shocked expression written across Carl's white and drained face.

"She's on her way!" whispered Steve in a tone of warning. Carl knew immediately that Steve meant only one person, Cath.

"Where is she?" ... "She's just signing in, she'll be here in a couple." answered Steve before looking behind him to room 4 where Jonathan laid. Carl knew what the question was going to be and thought of an answer before Steve even had time to form a question, and with a frown on his face "Nothing!" blurted out Carl.

"Nothing what?" questioned Steve as his head snapped back to see a blank expression on Carl's face.

"Nothing new. No news. He's still unconscious." stated Carl, without emotion or feeling, but he still allowed his head to drop in shame, as if it was somehow his fault.

Steve couldn't even muster a response. He wasn't a close friend of Jonathan's but he was at-least proud to be able to call Jonathan just a friend. "Oh!" Murmured Steve as he also looked to the floor. "I think I better go, I'll come later and visit if that's allowed." sniped Steve, again looking at the police officers and offering them a harsh stare.

Carl only nodded and looked up to acknowledge Steve. Steve left and closed the door. Carl was mentally exhausted, but he felt as though he needed to do something. He raised to his feet and walked to the door. He parted a few slits of the blind with his fingers and stared at the room Jonathan was in. The two officers shared a small laugh between themselves and carried on with their duties. Carl grimaced at their apparent humor. Carl couldn't think of anything to do to occupy his mind. He didn't want to `work' so he decided to return to his music, to give it one last try at success in taking him away from what he was experiencing and feeling. He sat down, closed his eyes and returned the earphones to his ears and sat back whilst pressing the play button.

"Where is Jonathan?" barked Cath as she entered ICU. She knew that her voice booming across the silent halls would do no good, but she did it anyway, she was in that sort of mood.

"I'd prefer it if you lowered your voice Catherine!" came from in the duty nurses office at the end of the corridor. Cath proceeded to the office and swung the door open.

A shocked middle aged lady was a sat at her desk with a cup of coffee and nearly jumped out of her skin when the door collided with a filing cabinet nearby.

"Why don't you come in!" echoed the woman in response, sarcasm evident as she said it.

"Can you answer my question?" questioned Cath, who had become quieter and more aware of her surroundings

"Glad to see you've calmed down, now just sit down a minute and I'll tell you what I know."

Cath sat down at the desk after filtering herself a mug of coffee and putting in far too many sugars than usual...

"He's in room 4." echoed the woman

"I guessed that one. The police officers are a giveaway!" hissed Cath, looking through a slit in the blind on the door towards the two fully laden police officers stood outside the door to room number 4.

"Were not going to get anywhere with you like this Cath, drink your coffee and relax." asked the woman, trying her best to calm Cath down.

Cath stopped, looked back at the woman, and suddenly the harsh and emotive expression on her face disappeared, to be replaced by a look of complete dejection. A look reserved for those with nothing left. She then looked towards the chair alongside the desk before walking over and slumping down, concentrating on her mug of coffee as if it were the only thing she had the energy to concentrate on.

Cath's voice, which was strong and authoritarian before was replaced by that of a small child "We were only supposed to meet for a drink!"

The woman proceeded to stand up and make her way around to Cath, where she then sat on the edge of the desk and looked down at Cath, sympathy and understanding in her eyes.

"Now I don't need to ask the question I was going to!" said the woman, with care and understanding in her voice.

"What question was that?" asked Cath... "Oh nothing, just how you found out and got here so quickly!"... "I got a call from Steve on the mobile while I was on my way. I'd told him that I was taking Jon out to cheer him up a bit, so he let me know. Couple that with the fact that I was passing by on my way to meet him."

The woman broke the impending silence... "And before you ask, no I don't know what happened to Jonathan, nor do I know what caused his injuries."...the woman paused and looked out of the office door and pondered... "All I do know is that there are television crews everywhere trying to get in here. I think Jonathan might have had something to do with it, but I'm not sure."

Cath took this as her cue to leave. She took it as her excuse to find out what happened to her best friend. Cath put her coffee on the edge of the table and made her farewells. I should go and at-least see him!' thought Cath as she exited the office and looked towards the room. The door was proving more of a barrier than Cath could have ever contemplated. But I can't bring myself to see him in that state!' she answered herself as she caught the eye-line of one of the officers, who duly dipped his head in acknowledgement. Cath was not impressed and in no mood to exchange pleasantries so ignored his gesture, a scowl forming on her face.

The hospital corridors always held some sort of piece of Cath. She liked working here very much and even the smell reminded her of happy moments. The time she first met Jonathan was her proudest moment within these walls. But now it was different. She needed answers and the walls were in her way, the smell made her feel nauseous, and the constant sounds echoing around her made her want to scream. But she carried on regardless, she was a woman on a mission.

JC sat in the hospital corridor, alone. Across from his lay the opening to Justin's room. He had arrived a few hours ago in the ambulance that brought Justin here. It had taken a while to get there and it agitated JC greatly, but he was glad they had arrived safely. He even stood around while the trained professionals saw to Justin's condition. 'They were so...un-nerved.' thought JC as he glanced around, he looked one way, then the other. No-one. He thought about going back in to see Justin again, but he had already sat in there for over 2 hours staring at his silent form and it was beginning to send JC around the bend a little. He wanted to ask him if he was ok, but couldn't, he wanted to ask him what he wanted him to do, but couldn't. 'It's so fucking infuriating!'

JC hadn't thought about anything else but Justin since he saw those feet in the road hours earlier. One, he didn't know what Justin was doing there in the first place. He had pushed the thought that he had come looked for him to the back of his mind, because if Justin was looking for him, he would feel responsible in some way, something he couldn't deal with right now...

The appearance of the police on the scene when the ambulance arrived had un- nerved JC, and made him content at the same time. Of course he was happy they were there for Justin's sake, but he knew they would want to ask him questions, one's he may not know the answer to...like... 'What did you do to make that man lose consciousness?'...and truly JC didn't know. 'I only pushed him out of the way.' 'He wouldn't say anything so I got him out of the way myself.' 'Anyone would have done the same.' As usual when thinking takes over, JC lost track of the space outside his head and didn't notice someone approach him...

"You ok?" questioned a police officer as she bent down beside JC. The woman was about 5 7" in height and of a slim build. She had blonde hair and hazel eyes...

JC was sat in a altogether uncomfortable chair in the corridor opposite Justin's room. He had his head in his hands, he was thinking. It took a moment before JC realized someone was there...

"Not too bad."

"Are you ok to make your statement, or at least have a chat to us about what happened tonight?" probed the officer...hoping again hope that he would say yes.

JC was slightly defeated and couldn't muster a 'no' so he nodded instead...

"Come with me, and we'll go and get a coffee..." gestured the officer

JC stood and followed the officer down the corridor. They went to the cafeteria where they got a drink each and sat down to talk. They chatted for several minutes about what JC had done that led him up to the incident in question...JC knew the question was coming, a lump forming in his throat...

"What happened first? Did you see something, hear something?" questioned the officer

"A set of feet, that's all I saw first, they belonged to the man with Justin."

"And then what happened?" ... "Well, I heard Justin's name so I ran to where they were and he was laid on the floor with him hovering over him." squirmed JC as he recited from memory...

"Was he...doing anything in particular, this man?" queried the officer

"He was...he...I can't remember him doing anything, he was just...just..."stuttered JC as he tried to force the words out 'I didn't see anything' echoed through his mind

"...hovering over your friend." finished the officer, but she tried to probe further... "So you saw nothing, what did you say or do next?" was asked as the officer wrote something down. JC noticed this but continued 'This feels like an interrogation'

"I asked him what he was doing...and he didn't answer...so I asked him again...and he didn't say anything again...so...I grabbed his shoulder and moved him out of the way." spluttered out JC as he again went back to looking at the completely uninteresting cup of coffee he had in his hands and the officer noticed this...

"Moved?" questioned the officer. She saw the look of unsure ness in JC's eyes as he looked down. Her years of investigatory work had led her to believe he wasn't exactly telling her everything...

'I knew this one was coming!' echoed JC to himself. 'I moved him. I didn't mean to knock him out.'..."Yeah moved." answered JC as he raised his head to show sincerity..."I just put my hands on his shoulder and moved him away...what is to me if I happened to be a bit physical with it?" questioned JC with a note of anger growing in his voice 'I saved Justin from him and she's treating me as if I'm the one in the wrong!' arrowed JC at her as he spoke to himself.

The woman looked towards JC with an edge of achievement in her eyes, she had gotten something out of JC she hadn't expected, a semi-confession. "Was that all you did, move him, nothing else?"

'Why does she keep going on about him, why?' thought JC as he looked up for the first time and stared into her eyes... "That's all I did, nothing else. Your talking as if he's nearly dead or something!" laughed JC as he tried to at-least lighten the mood, 'Something to get the edge off me!' echoed JC

The officer didn't answer, but just wrote down everything JC said. JC took the none-response as something, something he didn't like. He looked down at his drink again, mustering up the question he needed to ask. "Is he dead?" whispered JC. The next few seconds seemed like an eternity for him but they were just a mere few seconds...

"No, he's not, but he nearly was!" answered the officer, still writing down something. "He went in the operating theatre a couple of hours ago but right now he's stable in the ICU." she continued...

Relief, fear, worry, wonderment...all emotions and feeling that began to rush through JC like a fountain of pure water... "I only touched his shoulder, I only wanted to get to Justin." spoke JC to himself, but as in most things, the officer heard him... "I believe you Mr. Chasez, believe me I do...(pause)... but I have to say that I don't think what your accusing this man of is true..." JC was about to interrupt but... "but, as you are our only sign we'll stick by your claims, but I must warn you, if the man dies of his injuries, both yourself and Mr. Timberlake will have to answer a lot more questions." stared the officer before she stood up and motioned her exit for JC. "I think it's time I was going, work to do. And I suggest you get some rest, you look exhausted!" suggested the officers before she left, leaving JC with his tepid coffee.

Cath continued to wander the corridors of the hospital, heading towards the entrance, hopefully to get answers to her questions. Her rage was building to a climax, she needed a release. She turned a corner and down the other end stood a man, she couldn't make him out as his back was turned as he leant against the wall. Cath made a silent decision to ask this man if he knew anything.

She approached and tapped him on the shoulder. She still had her anger building but decided to tap it for the moment. 'It's no good going off at him. That'll get me nowhere.'

She was surprised to find Lance turn around in a hasty fashion. He didn't look in the mood for conversation. "Yeah, what do you want!" blurted out Lance as he snapped out of his own thoughts and spoke without thinking.

Taken aback by the response Cath continued... "Do you know why there are television crews everywhere?"

Lance noticed the badge pinned to her outfit. 'She works here.' was his conclusion and he decided that he better show her... "I'm sorry I snapped." apologized Lance as Cath passed to see inside the room.

Cath just nodded to let him know it was ok. When she entered the room she saw the answer to her question. Laid in the bed was Justin Timberlake of NSync. Around the bed sat the remaining members minus JC. Cath didn't ask his whereabouts, that was the least of her concerns.

She immediately jumped into 'work mode' and picked up the chart attached to the end of his bed. "What happened?"

"And who are you?" bitted Chris as he lifted his head from it's slumped position to see the stranger. He had anger and frustration written all over his face. 'Who the fuck is this now, haven't we got enough on our plate already without some bitch poking her nose in?' mused Chris as he awaited his answer.

"Calm down Chris, she works here." Pointed Lance as he tried to keep the place calm.

Cath was oblivious to it all. The conversation escaped her as she looked at the chart infront of her. 'It was called in as an assault' registered first. 'A question mark over it' Mused Cath as she read further on. 'There's a question surrounding the validity of the claim?' ran through her mind as she read on. She passed the area for personal information and skipped to the injuries section. 'What would question the motive for the injuries?' pondered Cath as she glanced finally upon the information... 'Severely bruised second, third and fourth right ribs.' ... 'Broken second and fourth left ribs.' ... 'Slight abrasions to twenty percent of back.' ... 'Possible ruptured vertebra' ... 'Mild case of shock and reason for unconsciousness.'...

Just then, JC re-entered the room. He walked straight past Lance and Joey and didn't acknowledge them, even when they spoke his name...He made his way past Cath and still didn't register her. He sat down on the opposite side of the bed to Chris and finally raised his head... "Who's that?" questioned JC in a low and almost inaudible voice. It was obvious to no-one but JC himself that the chat with the police officer earlier had disorientated him, and put a note of confusion in his mind.

Chris decided to answer... "She works here. Don't know what she's doing though!" answered Chris, hoping his remark would warn Cath to back off...

But Cath didn't quite catch the comment that was for her benefit as she fazed back into reality after reading the chart. 'Whoever did this must have run him over or something, bastards!' thought Cath, still blissfully unaware of the connection. She hadn't put the pieces together that linked Jonathan to Justin, that put Jonathan as the attacker and Justin as the victim...

"I hope they catch whoever did this, and I hope they throw the book at them. Pass my regards to Justin when he wakes up and wish him the speediest of recoveries." commented Cath with a sincere smile on her face. She, like anyone else didn't like to see people suffer, and when it was through the actions of another it doubled the concern. She was genuinely concerned for Justin...

"It's a good job he's already been caught!" answered Chris in a 'matter of fact' tone and not expecting a response...

Cath heard this and turned around... "They have? That was quick!"

"No need to look, they brought him in at the same time, he's in ICU I think!" followed Joey. He had no idea, like the rest of the group, of the connection between Cath and Jonathan, so he didn't flinch when he made an obvious statement about him. Cath however did realize. Only one person had been admitted to ICU that night, and that person was Jonathan. The light came on inside Cath's head. 'They mean Jonathan.' ...She paused in her tracks as if time itself has paused... 'Jonathan did this?' feared Cath...

"Yeah and I hope they throw the key down the drain when they lock him up!" finished Chris after hearing Joey's information...

Cath snapped up upon hearing this ...'He's talking about Jonathan as if he doesn't know him!' fired Cath as her disgust for Chris began to grow...

She then looked down at Justin and her thought pattern changed... 'Did he do that? ... Could he do something like this?' ...'If he did...' 'Oh shut up' Cath told herself in the end as she didn't want to contemplate the final question...

She was brought out of her inner thoughts, again, by Chris, his laughter piercing the air. "What's so funny?" questioned Joey as he too noticed the change in Chris...Chris tried to contain himself for a moment before looking up at everyone. "That's if he makes it through the night!" laughed Chris, his comment, funny to no-one but himself.

A pin dropping to the hard, clean floor could have been heard as everyone contemplated this. Chris had stopped laughing upon hearing that it wasn't in the slightest bit funny. He continued to look around for support, ending on JC, but all JC could do was form a small smile of recognition. 'Please god, don't let him die!' was all JC could plead internally...

By the time everyone had come to, the number was minus one. Cath had exited the room as soon as the words had left the lips of Chris. Each word etched into her mind as she listened to him. If her mind was undecided about her own feelings before, they were certainly in place and understood now. They told her one thing, that she might not get another chance to say goodbye to Jonathan, even if he did do it, she was still his best friend. She stopped for a moment to get her bearings. 'I don't even know where I am!' she laughed to herself, knowing that she probably knew exactly where she was and where she needed to go, but her current emotional state stopped everything. She looked around and realized that she was stood outside her very destination 'ICU' she repeated to herself. Never before had a door proved such a barrier. 'I've never wanted to do something more in my entire life.' ... 'But I can't!' she chastised herself as her eyes began to well up and fill with the inevitable tears...'I'm yellow!' she yelled inside.

As she looked through the Kaleidoscope that were her tear soaked eyes she felt a hand on her shoulder, a comforting hand. She didn't turn or acknowledge the presence, silence.

"You know him?" was the obvious question that entered the burning air.

Cath recognized the voice immediately. It soothed her for a moment as her thoughts drifted away from the three letters in front of her. She closed her eyes, trying in inevitable vain to stop the raft of tears soaking her face. "Yeah!" ... "I know him." said Cath as she brushed her hand across her face and she turned around to see Joey stood there, his hand still perched on her shoulder. Cath looked down at it. "You can move your hand you know!"

The comment was Cath's way of trying to take her mind off her troubles, but also to change the growing atmosphere between herself and Joey. Joey's facial expression didn't change at all.

"Do you want me to go with you to see him?" asked Joey, right to the point.

Cath studied for a moment and then nodded. 'I can do it now.' She had a renewed bout of confidence with Joey by her side but didn't read into it at all, it was the last thing on her mind, the first being the reason her and Joey walked through the doors to the ICU...

Three souls remained in the room, all silent. But only one not by choice. One sat silently in an uncomfortable plastic chair against the wall, his head leant back against the start white surface. His eyes bored holes into the skull of the other, conscious one. He sat in his own chair, against the central bed, hunched over, and also silent. All that could be heard now was the rhythmical tapping of raindrops on the window. 'He's holding something back!' thought Chris as he lifted his head away from the wall and looked even more intently at JC.

"You got something you need to get off your chest?" fired Chris into the silence.

JC looked upwards...and made eye contact "Not that it's any of your business!" shot back JC, equal in venom and spite.

Chris froze his expression completely, even when JC looked away and towards Justin, Chris didn't flinch a millimeter. The evening for Chris, and for everyone had been eventful to say the least, but... 'Everything's ok, isn't it?' mused Chris. He ran over the facts in his head... Justin's gonna be ok, JC made sure that guy doesn't do it again, and Dannielle is due here in the morning... The last fact put a smile on Chris' face as he continued to feel confused, until it hit him. 'He spoke to the police earlier.'

"What did that officer have to say to you?" asked Chris, simply and without feeling. JC was about to lift his head and formulate an answer, but Chris continued... "Or should I ask, what did you say to her?"

JC couldn't respond to that. He knew that he'd put himself in the frame for something that didn't even cross his mind until a few minutes ago, sat in the cafeteria. He spent the entire journey to the hospital, looking down on his best friend and thinking 'I saved him!' and feeling content. But he didn't see the real picture, he was clouded by his 'achievement', or what he thought was one. 'Am I that shallow?' questioned JC. 'I don't want to go to jail, I couldn't!' was the final thought through his mind before Chris interjected...

"I'll take the silence as a bad thing." Chris said as he stood from his chair and made his way to the window and looked out. "You did the right thing, and they're not gonna pin anything on you for it either!" ... "That bastard deserved everything he got, and more. I hope he survives, I do...So we can see his face when they take him down!" spat out Chris in a low hiss, full of venom and it encapsulated his entire emotions...

JC didn't respond, he couldn't. Halfway through Chris' outburst he had left and began wandering down the corridors of the hospital, not intent on going anywhere, but intent on leaving somewhere, Justins' room.

Chris looked around moments later, realizing that JC hadn't agreed or disagreed with him. But there was no-one. 'This isn't good.' thought Chris. 'He has to stay in line' he finalised in his mind as he walked back over to Justin's bed and looked down. 'You mom'll be here in the morning Justin. And then everything's gonna kick off.'

"This is the room I take it!" Joey stated as he stood slightly behind Cath. Normally he wouldn't be doing this. He wouldn't be associating himself with Cath, and through her to the man who did that to Justin. But Joey wasn't a stupid as he sometimes looked, he had a serious side. 'I'm gonna see where this goes.!' was all he could say to himself as he reasoned... He knew the guys would flip if they knew what he was doing, but he had doubts in his mind, big doubts. He doubted the truth of what JC had said, and he felt bad for doing it.

They both looked at each of the officers guarding the room before Cath continued...

"I was here earlier, when I heard the news, but I didn't go in. I needed time to think...I've never had to do something like this before." was all Cath could say before Joey's hand returned to her shoulder.

They both sighed colectively and opened the door. It swug open of it's own acord and hit the end of it's run gently. The room was bathed in relative darkness, a necessity, but also a illustration of the emotions building up inside of everybody. They both walked in, slowly and made their way to the edge of the bed. Silence prevailed for a few minutes. Neither of them registered anything in their minds other than the vision displayed infront of them. Cath, filled with worry and fear, couldn't grasp the concept infront of her. 'He looks so weak, and helpless.'... Joey was dumbfounded more than anything else. his silence came from his inability to comprehend what had actually happened. Each beep and shrill of sound that came from the machines supporting him sent a shiver through his spine as he contemplated the possibilities. 'Did JC put him here?' ... 'He couldn't have done anything to Justin.'

Joey was almost too caught up his own thought to see the tears run down Cath's cheeks. It seemed that as every turn today, someone cried, and now it was no different. Joey quickly snapped out of his trance and looked down to Cath...

"What are you thinking?" asked Joey

"Not much really...Just thinking about how different this picture was this afternoon. We were going for a drink and Jonathan had to walk so I agreed to meet him there and..." Cath couldn't finish, nor could she stop the tears dropping from her eyes...

"Well I could do with a drink right now!" blurted out Joey and he regretted it immediately, his face cringing together almost forcing him to turn away..."Sorry..." but he was interupted by Cath who turned around with a smile on her face..."Don't apologize, I think I know what you mean. You don't have to act as though your walking on eggshells around me..." and with that she held out her hand and grasped Joey's and gestured for them to leave the room... "I think we both need a coffee.." was all Cath uttered before she slowly closed the door behind her, looking back once, and mouthing the words... "I'll be right back" to Jonathan...

Lance had left the room just after Joey, but didn't follow. He had other concerns on his fraught mind right now. The thoughts and emotions swilling together in his mind had come together today, or yesterday as it was turning into. First 'JC goes off at everybody at the studio', then ... 'He runs away from us into the rain' and now 'He's all quiet and subdued.' He looked up from the floor to smell the sweet smell of food, and good smelling food at that. "I suppose a bite to eat isn't out of the question then." commented Lance to no-one in particular but himself as he walked off to the restaurant.

He bought his usual plate of pasta and a cup of coffee and sat down at an empty table. The restaurant seemed deserted to him, until he realized a small fact. 'Figures...it is three in the morning!' and with that he went back to his undescript plate of plain pasta.

He managed to finish the plateful in next to no time. But he had nowhere else to go. He'd fled the room where Justin laid for one reason, himself. He hadn't heard everything Chris had said to upset Cath, he hadn't even tried. His mind was on more important things...things important to himself. Ever since the moment JC had told him what had happened, and what was happening as they spoke Lance felt something pull inside...two things infact. Lance was a quick guy and he saw through JC's story straight away. Knowing someone was in ICU in a critical condition was all Lance needed to see through it. That was the first thing, his doubt for JC, his sceptisism, his downright belief that he was being told a lie...The second thing was something Lance couldn't even bring himself to admit. It plagued him all day, and it would plague him for days to come...

It seemed the group had been scattered throughout this sterile and inhuman building. Lance in the cafeteria, Joey in ICU, and Chris still with Justin, and JC was no different. he was on his own, again. It seemed like a recurring theme of his life recently, loneliness. Part of him knew it was self inflicted, but the rest knew he had to do it. Deep inside he knew that acceptance wouldn't come his way if he ever opened himself up. 'I sure am fucked up!' was all he could say to himself as he withheld a small laugh of acknowledgement inside. He had kept it inside for a long time, the truth that is. As he walked down a corridor a flash of a camera hit him straight in the face. Another flash, then a distant voice, another flash, then a call of his name.

"JC...JC...Would you like to comment on..." was all that could be uttered before JC looked up and saw the scene that laid before him. Reporters, camera's, the public, crowding the halls of the hospital.

JC then felt the hand of reassurance on his shoulder, and he turned to see Lonnie, stood strong behind him, a smile gracing his face. JC just looked and waited for something from Lonnie, and he got it. Lonnie gestured for them to move away, away from the mellie that was the press, and they did, JC did freely.

They entered a quieter area and kept walking, Lonnie a few steps behind JC, watching his every step, as if at some point he expected them to stop abruptly.

"You can stop eyeing me you know." said JC as if he had eyes in the back of his head.

"Just making sure." answered Lonnie... "Of what?" asked JC as he continued walking, not looking back to face Lonnie when he asked...

"Just making sure your not gonna turn around and tell them." whispered Lonnie as the approached a junction in the corridors.

JC stopped, as most people would... 'Tell them what?' was the obvious question that darted around inside his head as he turned around and whispered back to Lonnie... "Tell them what?" asked JC, his tone lowered and critical

Lonnie just stared back, not altering his gaze away from JC's eyes... "I think you know what, but now that I know your not going to tell then I suggest we go and get a cup of coffee or something. You know this watching thing I do all the time gives me an appetite for caffiene." and with that a smile formed on Lonnie's lips and he glanced away from JC...

'He knows?' questioned JC...But suddenly he was ok with it. 'If Lonnie knows, he's ok with it...' then another point plopped in there... 'Then everyone else might be!' and with that he pointed the way and the both of them walked side by side down the corridor to their ultimate destination, a coffee vending machine at the end of the corridor...

Joey had followed Cath for a while. They had passed Lance in the cafeteria a moment earlier. She had Jonathan on her mind, and Joey knew this. 'Atleast she's got a smile on her face.' thought Joey

"So, tell me, what keeps you at my side?" asked Cath. Joey's presence at her side had gone above her head completely until a few moments ago when they exited onto the roof. Outside, on the roof was a childrens playground, surrounded by the stars. They had walked slowly to the small swings and sat down, silently, swinging in unison. 'He should be with Justin, not me!' was the prevailing thought running through her fraught mind.

"Making sure you were ok..." answered Joey...an unconvincing answer, even to an emotionally charged person as Cath was now. She responded by playfully puching him in the arm, and smiling at him..."Oww, what was that for?" moked Joey in a show of fake hurt.

"I know that's a lie...You don't even know me, and here you are, glued to my side. I don't think so. You'll have to do better than that Mr Fatone!" smiled Cath. The tide had changed slightly. The focus was no longer on herself but her companion, and this allowed her to forget her troubles for the briefest of moments...

Joey could do nothing but look down, a physical show of his emotions... "Am I that easy to see through?" he asked, lowly and without feeling.

"To me, yeah...And with what's happened tonight, you'd be mad not to feel a bit down...But your ok, cause Justin's gonna be fine. You'll just need some headache tablets on order for a while...I've heard he can be quite grumpy!" laughed Cath. This was her attempt to brighten things up a bit, and it worked...Joey looked up with a renewed smile on his face. "How do you do it?" he asked out of curiosity. "Do what?" questioned Cath. "How do you handle it all, how do you handle what has happened here tonight and still put a smile on your face?" questioned Joey, with sincerity in his voice.

Cath looked forward and away from Joey for a second and then looked up into the air, to see the star filled sky and took a deep breath... "Cause when I saw him I knew it was gonna be ok. I know him, and I don't care what anyone says, I think he's innocent!" ... "Plus having you around helps!" said Cath as she slipped the last comment in to make Joey squirm...and it worked. Joey heard everything she had to say and it made sense, to her. Justin was still one of Joey's 'brothers', and a best friend. Part of him doubted the words of JC and the encouragement of Chris. Seeing Jonathan where he was brought this home to Joey, but he still had a lot of thinking to do...as did everyone as he followed Cath's gaze and looked upwards into the now clear night sky and the roof fell silent...

"Keep looking at me. Keep your eyes fixed on mine"

"Don't think of anything else, anyone else right now. Think of me and you, you and me."

Jonathan could hear the voice and the mellow feeling inside rose and greeted his heart warmly. The darkness around was dispersed by the voice echoing through his mind. Jonathan had no idea he was unconscious, he had no recollection of the nights events. He was too caught up in the voice, a familiar voice but the familiarity evaded him for while. The name to the voice, the face to the name were on the edge of Jonathan's tongue and mind.

"I know who you are!" reassured Jonathan

"Yes you do!" responded the voice, who's calm manner before was suddenly replaced by one decidedly more stronger and harsher. The tone of the voice splitting the very air that Jonathan breathed.

"Where am I? Is this a dream?" questioned Jon. The strong nature of the voice and the sudden change in it didn't register to Jonathan. He continued to look around in the blackness searching for the face. It was as if he was a small child looking at the world through new eyes. The innocence and naivety implicit in his entire being, the way he stood, hands in pockets, and the way he began to sway from side to side.

There was no answer to his question. Jonathan became agitated and a small fear came to his mind. "Are you still here?" asked Jonathan quietly.

Still nothing but silence. It was as if the already present silence became quieter. The lack of a response had made the void seem endless and silent beyond compare.

Jonathan continued to look around, as if he was expecting someone to appear. "Are you still here?" questioned Jonathan again, louder and stronger, hoping for a response.

Silence and darkness.

"Are you still here?" shouted Jonathan in one final attempt to gain recognition. The darkness and silence were beginning to bring some fear to Jonathan.

Suddenly a figure appeared at Jonathans side. A man in his mid twenties and average in appearance. Jonathan didn't see the man for a moment, but the man saw Jonathan. His stare bored a hole into the side of his skull. The intent evil and perverted smile glistening across his face as if it were some trophy to display, and admire. Slowly Jonathan felt the presence. Thinking it was the familiar voice of earlier he turned to greet the man with a smile to warm a thousand hearts.

"Your here!" laughed Jonathan as he turned his head

Time froze. Life for Jonathan seemed to stop indefinitely as he looked deep into the eyes of this man by his side. He laughed his way to his face moments earlier but the expression that graced his face now couldn't be further from there.

Jonathan tried to squeeze out words to this man, 'What the fuck is he doing here, now? 'fleeted through Jonathan's thoughts as he continued to stare.

The man tilted his head to the side, and mocked with the face of a child looking for approval. Jonathan just stared at him, taking in all the features that graced his face. 'I'm strong enough now!' thought Jonathan as a smile began to form on the lips of this man. 'He's enjoying this.' pointed Jonathan.

"You seen Natalie?" questioned the man, and with that Jonathan's demeanor changed. His face which had color before, was as white as a sheet of linen. The small smile of contentment that graced his face flattened to a frown, a look of complete dejection. That name, 'Natalie', and the voice that had uttered it had triggered something, something deep inside, and with a bolt of energy Jonathan released his arm, and clenched fist straight at the man.

But all he made contact with is thin air and nothing else, certainly not this man.

"Wow man, that was way out!" laughed the man from behind Jonathan as Jonathan collapsed to the floor with the uncapped energy in his attack.

Tears began to well up the eyes of Jonathan as he looked back at this man stood just a few feet away, but laughing hysterically, mocking Jonathan.

"Your not really here." stuttered Jonathan from the floor. His composure shattered by the mere presence of this man. His voice sent shivers up Jonathan's spine like the scraping of a fork over a plate or the dragging of fingernails across a blackboard. But this held much more significance.

"No I'm here, it's you that's not real." shot the man. His face expressionless, his body devoid of color.

Jonathan rose to his feet looking around, wiping the forming tears from his eyes. He had to say something...the words spoken by the man had brought a sharp realization to Jonathan. The darkness of this confine had not awoken Jonathan to the truth until now, the possible truth. "I'm real, your dead!" arrowed Jonathan straight at the man. 'It's the truth.'...'I'm not dead.' reasoned Jonathan as he brought his stare to the man. He did nothing in return but smile.

There was a silence. A silence before the duel began. Both holding their hands ready to pull their weapons of choice. But before Jonathan could raise a breath to say anything...

"Yeah, I am, but at least I admit it!"

Lance had left the cafeteria a while ago and he was just mulling around and wandering aimlessly through the many corridors of the hospital. It was tempting to leave, but he knew that wouldn't go down well with the others, plus the fact he would have to deal with the press as he did. He felt choked as he coped with the emotions revolving his internal heartache and that of his feelings towards Justin, his best friend. `Coffee isn't going to do the trick!' commented Lance as he reached yet another door to open and go through. He looked up and saw that he had been drawn to the ICU. Looking up at those three letters he made a silent decision to enter and see the man that JC claimed had tried to rob them of their best friend.

Nurse Ogawa entered Room number 4 past the police officers to check on the patient within. She had a chart in her hands, she didn't look up straight away to see Jonathan as she had expected him to be, silent and still. Lance suddenly appeared at the door, nodding acknowledgement to both the police officers.

"You sure you want to go in there?" questioned one of the officers

Lance ignored the man and walked to the edge of the room, leaning against the door frame looking inwards.

Inside the room laid Jonathan as he had for the entire duration of his stay. Lifeless and frail. Lance walked causciously into the room closing the door behind himself.

"You can talk you know!" uttered Nurse Ogawa which startled Lance out of his daze. "It feels weird." was all Lance could say as he was transfixed by the sight before him. It was weird, very weird. Here he was, stood, willingly, in the room of the man who it has been claimed, try to rob them of their best friend. Part of Lance knew he shouldn't be there, just to avoid the backlash that would follow from the others, but he had to stay...

Nurse Ogawa was completely unaware of who Lance was and how he was linked to this patient. She didn't make it her business to know those things, she just did her job. 'Poor guy.' she thought as she looked on as Lance stood silently at the end of the bed. Lance was jolted out of his daze as the nurse stood behind him and leant over and whispered in his ear... "If you ask me, he's a sweet guy who did nothing wrong!"

The tears that had been building up in Lance all day were close to breaking free. Even though he didn't know this man, and had no intention of getting to know him, he could see the pain in his face. The silent contortion of his features, the white pale skin and slightly blue lips. "What's wrong with him?" questioned Lance almost inaudibly as the nurse began to walk away.

She turned around upon hearing Lance..."Not as much now compared to when he came in. He's gonna make it which is the part you should concentrate on. That car must have hit him pretty hard because he nearly didn't make it, but he's got a will, and where there's a will, there's a way as they say." and with that she tapped him on the shoulder as a slight show of support and left the room, closing the door slowly behind her.

Gladly the dim light shone enough light on the room for Lance to still be able to make out the man in the bed before him. Lance took a moment before looking down and reading his name from the clipboard the nurse had left behind. "Jonathan", "Jonathan Harrison" recited Lance to no-one in particular. If a name could explain everything about that person Lance would be overwhelmed with information and emotions but it couldn't and didn't. He continued to stand there, looking down and thinking. 'Why did you do it to him?' 'What tipped you over the edge Jonathan Harrison?' emphasized Lance as he questioned Jonathan inside.

Lance continued to stand and stare. He didn't notice the door open and Dr Adams enter. Dr Adams stopped at the door upon seeing Lance standing there. 'Jonathan doesn't have any family' 'Is this someone new?' flirted over his overactive imagination.

"I'm gay!"

Silence...utter silence be felled the room.

Jonathan still stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move a muscle of his already aching body anywhere, not that there was anywhere to go. He smirked slightly when running the idea that 'I was dead' through his thoughts. It was ludicrous, impossible.

"I remember what happened, but I thought I was ok!" stuttered out Jonathan, half of his body telling him that what had been said to him was true, the other half defying everything and telling him that he was ok. He was not dead! 'I feel ok, I'm not dead, but what is he doing here and...' Jonathan was stopped in his thinking as...

"He's right, your as dead as a dodo!" spoke someone vital to the very fabric of Jonathan.

"Natalie!" whispered Jonathan. The person presented to him was indeed Natalie, his sister.

Jonathan and Natalie had lost their parents many years ago and they had to survive under each others tutelage and guidance ever since. They were essential to each other, like Siamese twins, or the sun to the moon.

Jonathan had trouble taking in the vision that was in front of him. His sister, Natalie, the most important part of his past life, was here. "But if you are here, then I'm...I must be...dead."

"Give the guy a candy bar, he's hit the nail on the head." shouted the man as he flung his arms into the air, and eventually laid them to rest around the waist of Natalie.

"Shut up Patrick!" laughed Natalie as she leant her head back and rested it calmly on the shoulder of Patrick. She seemed content. Jonathan was far from it. 'I'm dead' 'This is it, this is all I had to look forward to.' echoed Jonathan as he searched for some reasoning behind it all. Nothing made sense, he couldn't be dead. He absently scratched the back of his head as it hung down in defeat.

"I'm gay!" resonated through the empty void Jonathan occupied with the others. The voice clear, the emotion evident, but it was spoken by none of the three. It captured Jonathan's attention, making him look beyond himself and stare around, the voice familiar but not enough for Jonathan to recognize.

"Yes you are!" added Patrick as he looked at Jonathan as if it was Jonathan himself who uttered the two words. The evil and sadistic smile of the past returning to haunt Jonathan.

Jonathan didn't need to look up to see the expression on Patrick's face, he knew it too well already. 'You piece of shit!' raged Jonathan

Jonathan began to raise his head to see the perverted smirk for himself "Shut your fucking mouth you piece o....." Jonathan was cut off, not by words but gestures that Patrick and Natalie shared. They were kissing.

The words dropped from Jonathan's mind like hail on a thundery morning. Like bullets. His sister, the most important part of his life, that was now gone was kissing the man that put her there. Patrick. 'What the fuck!' exclaimed Jonathan as he yet again froze in place. He began to stutter wildly as he tried in vain to bring some argument to his lips. He was seeing the past flash before his eyes. As he stuttered he continued to look at them in awe at Patrick's audacity. As he looked, Patrick opened his left eye, and looked deep into Jonathan, he could feel it bore a hole into his very soul.

"I'm not standing by while you..." Jonathan tried to start his walk towards his sister and Patrick but couldn't. He was held in place by some unknown force. He looked down to his sides and it was if he was paralyzed from the head down. He struggled violently. Jonathan's fear and anger began to multiply. 'He's with my fucking sister' ... 'I need to get her free.' ... "Get your fucking hands off my sister!" screamed Jonathan as the thoughts running through his mind burst through into reality.

It was as if they didn't hear a word he said and continued their kiss. Patrick's hand began to move up her side, trailing her dress up with his finger as he did, revealing her legs. Jonathan gasped in horror. 'I can't see this!' pleaded Jonathan, closing his eyes in fear, small tears breaking the seal and falling down his cheek. But hearing something else, foreign changed his demeanor. He opened his eyes hearing the distinct sound of metal to see a glimmer in his eyes, the glimmer of metal in light, the shine of a smooth surface in the sun. A sight he had seen before and wanted to never see it again...

The silence in the room, room 4, was resounding. Carl Adams stood there motionless. He had just heard someone express a hidden truth, a secret that he assumed he was not meant to hear. But there was nothing he could do to change the past and he had heard the truth. All he could do would be to assure the person that that truth would stay with him. And with that he reached around and grabbed the edge of the door, closing it.

Lance on the other hand felt a stream of relief. 'I said it.' rejoiced Lance as he continued to take in the picture that was Jonathan Harrison. 'I don't know why but I said it.' Lance didn't hear the door open or close, he didn't see or hear the footsteps approach either. "Thank you!" whispered Lance to Jonathan as if he had played a part in the conversation.

Lance turned swiftly to leave, his job somehow done. He turned on his heels and without raising his head he walked straight into Dr Adams, sending the good doctor skidding across the floor, landing on his side on the cold floor. Lance was not prepared for the appearance of anyone anywhere near the room, let alone at his side. Lance immediately realized the truth he had just spoken. 'He heard me!' feared Lance. 'He can't tell anyone, he can't...he can't tell the others.'

Carl looked up at Lance and could see the fear creeping into his face and eyes. The fear that Carl would reveal his secret. But he wouldn't

"Nobody heard you." comforted Carl as he brought himself to his feet

Lance felt no comfort in those words. He didn't know this man. All he could feel was extreme fear. He had battled for years with the feelings inside, feelings of difference. Feelings that would alienate him from what he came to know and love. Feelings that would alienate the one person that held a place in his heart. "Nobody better hear it either!" blurted out Lance, hell bent on his secret remaining so. He stood there for a moment, looking at Carl before making a route for the exit...

"My lips are sealed!" whispered out Carl, hit quite hard by the harsh comments thrown his way by this man. He finally retrieved his footing as Lance passed by, anger and spite written across his face. 'This is a troubled man.' philosophically pondered Carl...

"Don't say a fucking word, got it!" spat out Lance through clenched teeth. He was never like this truly. Lance was a quiet and individual person who kept to himself and prided himself on his work ethic and the relationships he had built through it. He wasn't a spiteful or hateful person and he knew it. 'I'm doing it again!' reasoned Lance as the narrow eyes and closed mouth of before faded as he reached the door. He was about to place his hand on the handle and open the door when...

The background noise of the machines in the room changed, markedly...

As if the two event were timed, the narrow beeps of before that signaled Jonathan's life-force moved. They moved from the repetitive beeps of before that signaled a blue sky to a quicker pace. Lance stopped in his tracks and looked back immediately. He and Carl exchanged glances as the beeps went by quicker, quicker, quicker...

The silence of Justin's room was shattered when Lynn Harliss and Paul Harliss entered after their impromptu flight to see their son. Their flight was fraught, as expected. The only information their were privy was that Justin was attacked and in hospital. As parents would, they didn't ask anything more, but just caught the next available flight to be at his bedside. As soon as they entered the room they both noticed the aparent lack of people in the room, just Chris and Justin...Lynn walked up to Chris' side and looked at her sone before saying anything...

"How is he doing?" asked Lynn in a caring and low voice, as if somehow she would awaken him if her voice was any higher.

Chris looked up and smiled weakly. "He's ok. The doctor said he should be waking up soon. Just bumps and bruises they say."

Paul walked around to the other side of the bed and sat on the edge, making sure not to budge Justin as he did. "Where is everyone else Chris?"

Chris wasn't too sure, but as Chris usually did, he made conclusions... "I don't know where Lance is...he's probably off talking to Johnny or something, you know him. I think JC went to get a drink..." Chris trailed off as he thought of Joey...and the two listeners awaited an answer... "And Joey's off with some woman somewhere...you know Joe, he doesn't let much bother him." bited Chris under his breath. Joey going off to help a stranger instead of being here was something that got to Chris a bit...

Lynn and Paul took them comments at face value and their faces dropped when hearing what Joey was doing right then...their disapproval obvious in their face. They both eventually made their way to seats around the bed after taking their coats off and dusting themselves off...

"Chris, tell me what happened to my Justin!" asked Lynn in a motherly tone. Her concern for Justin was unbounded, as any mother's would be. But she kept her emotions in check, over the years she became good at it.

'Finally' echoed Chris in response. he had been waiting to retell the story for some time. He felt more at ease each time he recited it. It helped him come to terms with it more each and every word he uttered. But it still didn't make his anger wane any, or his need to see and pay back the person who did it...That was as strong as it ever was...

Chris looked up and he began. He trawled through all JC had said to them when they met at the hospital in the pouring rain. He told of everyones reactions, and their prevailing emotions. He told of the police, and he took them through how Justin was and how he was gonna be ok...he didn't however, mention one small but significant fact. He didn't mention the other victim, or the attacker in his story. he didn't mention Jonathan, the man whose life was in the balance. Because to mention his name out loud would ruin the story for his audience.

Lance was frozen in place as if he were a statue. He continued to stare as Carl pushed past him to get assistance. He switched his attention to the bed and the machines that surrounded it. In it a man was dying, or so Lance thought. The words of the nurse flung through his mind as he thought "If you ask me, he's a sweet guy who did nothing wrong!"... 'Did he do nothing?' questioned Lance as he saw Jonathan begin to slip, slip away...

Carl had gone for assistance and it wasn't long in coming. Being a friend of everyone there, assistance wasn't something lacking in the ICU. Lance was soon pushed to one side as people and more apparatus entered the room. Random phrases shot through Lance as he continued to stare... "Check his airways..." "Hook him up and give him 10 of ..." "Stand clear everybody"

The sound of the paddles shooting electricity into Jonathan's body jolted Lance out of his own dream world. He looked at them again. "It was a road accident." whispered Lance as he looked on. Those five words together brought a whole other truth to his mind...He didn't have time to question everything as Nurse Ogawa walked to his side quietly...

"I don't think you need to see this." whispered the nurse as she laid her hand on his shoulder. Nurse Ogawa on seeing Lance had assumed something. Assumptions are usually wrong, and she was. She had assumed that Lance and Jonathan were together, an item. 'They're gonna miss each other.' mused the Nurse as she guided Lance out of the room towards a set of seats nearby...

"Is he going to die?" questioned Lance. He didn't know why he suddenly became connected with Jonathan. He knew that he was the one who had come with Justin here, but did it happen how he was led to believe...?? 'Who do I believe?' thought Lance as his mind danced between the moment JC revealed what happened and the moment when he was told it was a car accident.

"I don't know. Trust me when I tell you they're doing whatever they can in there to save your man." ... "Have faith!" followed Nurse Ogawa...but Lance was already up on his feet and leaving...

"COME ON DON'T LEAVE NOW!" shouted Carl from room 4...his voice filled with fear and dread. The very fear and dread you feel when a life altering moment collides with your perfect life and changes it forever.

Lance stopped in his tracks. He knew those words very well, and he knew the emotions. He stopped and realized his connection to Jonathan in an instant. He realized that Jonathan had in some way been pushed to the edge, an edge Lance was close to because of his secret. "I'm not going there." echoed Lance out in words...

Complete darkness, and silence. Held in place by an unknown force, a force keeping him away from his sister. Natalie. But also keeping him away from the man who put her beyond Jonathan's reach, Patrick. The very mention of his name running through Jonathan's mind made him feel sick. A sick feeling inside that started to well up and envelop his entire body. His breathing began to shallow, and slow as time seemed to slow and stop as he stood there watching the shine covered metallic object being raised in Patrick's hand. The long sharp edge, the dark wooden handle, it all transfixed Jonathan as he looked on as they continued to kiss.

Suddenly and without warning a shock ran through Jonathan's body as if someone had poured pure electricity through his veins. His eyes opened as wide as they could possibly go and continued to look forward. But this time they had purpose. "Get your fucking hands off my sister you mother fucker!" screamed Jonathan as he suddenly reached his voice and used it.

Patrick looked around, pausing for a moment. The snigger of before still there.

"Get used to it boy cause your gonna be watching this for a very long time." and with that he returned to his moment with Natalie but held the knife in place somehow taunting Jonathan with it. He even let out a slight laugh as his lips made contact with the rosy flesh that were the lips of Jonathan's sister.

The shot of power he had received somehow gave Jonathan a boost of confidence...

"I'll get you free." he exclaimed to Natalie as she savored the kiss blissfully unaware of the man she was experiencing it with.

"Please..." whimpered Natalie as she turned her head away from Patrick to look deep into Jonathan's orb like eyes...Suddenly he could see the fear in her eyes. The fear that must have held her in place that fateful night.

Jonathan came upon a realization... 'I abandoned her in life, I'm not going to do it in death.' and with this show of strength the hold upon him stopped. His helplessness stopped and his body fell to the floor like a bag of coal. He mustered enough strength to open his eyes and look at the floor beneath him, black as with everything else. He had no idea how the strength had been sapped from his body, how he had become so withered so quickly. But that wasn't his concern. He was free to do what he needed to do, and he glanced up to see Patrick and Natalie together as they were before...He sucked in a breath of clean air that filled his lungs to capacity and he stood up, he was going to stop this, and he was going to do it now...

An emerging light. The slight flicker of a shining light. The darkness surrounds it. The abject darkness that had enveloped the world now had a light. A now shimmering light as the waves of rays began to increase and tackle the over-riding darkness. It was like a duel, a duel between the good and dark side, of a person. The internal conflicts within that rage inside every person, and those conflicts we look to resolve. With a blink of the internal eye the visions were appearing. The light was winning the battle, and life was returning to this dark place. Shadows and figures within the light were becoming clearer as the light enveloped the darkness. The opening of what seemed to be a door, the turning off of a light, the passing of several people, it was all becoming clearer. The figures were becoming clearer, their faces etched in memory. The time to speak now, before the door closed...

"Mom..." spoke Justin as his eyes flickered open to see the darkness of the room, with the starry night sky beaming in from the outside world.

Lynn heard the sound of a voice behind him and nearly dismissed it as she reached behind for the door handle to close the door, but she didn't dismiss it. Instead she turned around to see Justin's eyes open and his stare fixed on her 'He's awake'

"Your awake!" uttered Lynn which stopped Chris and Paul in the hallway, and as they looked back they saw Lynn slip back into the room and they knew Justin was Awake...

"It looks like it!" responded Justin, ever the one to lighten the tone with sarcasm...

Lynn approached the bed, not thinking to turn the light on, and pulled up a seat next to the bed...tears falling down her cheeks...

"We were all worried about you..." stated Lynn. An obvious statement seen as the group they called NSync and all those around them were a family in their own right so worry was part of the contract.

Justin finally opened his eyes fully and looked outwards seeing Paul and Chris enter the room. A slight throbbing pain in his head hampered his response... 'I'm ok because...I had someone watching over me.' thought Justin as he stared at his mom.

"I'm only here cause I had someone watching over me!" uttered Justin to the three, but the meaning was lost. Every member of the three present took some of that remark to heart and thought it was them. But was it?

Down the winding corridors to the ICU, everything was not quiet and thoughtful. Dr Adams and his people still surrounded the bed in which Jonathan laid. Lance was still sat where he was before. Sat on a two seater bench with his head tilted back against the glass partition. His eyes glazed over with thought. The constant sounds echoing from the room alongside where Jonathan's life hung in the balance seemed to run over Lances' head.

"Penny for them!" asked Nurse Ogawa as he glanced at Lance from across the hallway. After bringing Lance from the room earlier she had left to attend to a patient but upon returning she immediately saw Lance 'exactly where I left him'

Lance snapped out of his trance instantly, and lowered his head and nodded to the nurse with a small smile on his face, his show of kindness. 'He's a troubled man.' thought the nurse as she walked over and perched on the seat edge and looked straight at Lance. She had assumed before that Lance was the significant other of Jonathan. Mis-interpretation had come into play as she looked over his paled features. The look of dejection and fear was thought to be concern for the health of his boyfriend not the feelings locked inside that Lance had trapped for a long time...a very long time...

"It's ok, I'd rather keep them to myself!" responded Lance, he wasn't in any mood to talk about anything let alone the feelings he had talked to no-one about, ever...

Suddenly the conversation was over as Carl's voice snapped through the corridor. "Nurse, can you get in here please..." and with that, Nurse Ogawa smiled to Lance, and rushed past and into the room. Lance just ignored her gesture and leant his head back against the glass. Lance began to realize something, something that was starting to change his perception of his feelings. In the past and until now, Lance's feelings stemmed from his religious upbringing and the fact that 'gay' is wrong, but seeing Justin laid in that bed, and Jonathan fighting for life in the next room made him realize that 'gay' is not wrong, it's not yet good, but it's ok...it's something, not everything...'This is stupid.' thought Lance. 'I've got to own up to it.' ... 'I'm gay!' ... 'There you go, it wasn't that bad now was it?' questioned Lance, hoping the reply he was going to give himself was the right one... 'I think I can live with that!' came the eventual reply, one that eased his worries...But the small show of contentment that began to blossom on his face as the color returned stopped when the small distant sounds of before from within room 4 changed...

"His vitals are lowering, he's 120 over 80." echoed someone from within the room.

Dr Adams could be heard requesting more drugs, more help and more time as he tried seemingly in vain to stop Jonathan from slipping from them.

Lance didn't know why he stood up. He had no reason to. But he did anyway. He stood up and turned to the open room 4 and made his way to the opening. There he stood looking in. Observing...

"Were losing him!" shouted a nurse as Dr Adams had to resort to mouth to mouth resuscitation. Pinning Jonathan down Carl began the routine, the quick breath, the impressing of the chest, the checking for breathing and then the same again...

The first run through happened but nothing, no sign of life...

Carl looked around the room at the faces of everyone stood around, he had to continue, he wouldn't stop yet, if at all...

He went to task again, followed the routine, but again nothing, no sign of breathing, no sign of life...The light in the room seemed to dim markedly on this, as if reflecting the feeling in the room. But Carl wasn't giving up...

"Prep the paddles again, but this time up the ante!" shouted Carl as he prepared to go to task again...

One of the nurses began to question him... "But don't..."

Carl didn't even turn to acknowledge her remark, he didn't even let her finish... "Don't think about finishing what you were gonna say, now do what I asked!" replied Carl in a calm but angered fashion...The nurse did as she was asked...

Lance turned away on Carl's remark. 'He's gone!' thought Lance about the man he had confessed his secret to. He had no idea why he felt suddenly so attached to him, but he couldn't look at the unfolding scene any longer, so turning away and closing his eyes were the answer...The only answer he could think of.

Jonathan's movement were becoming more sluggish as he neared Patrick and his goal, of saving Natalie. At first he was full of energy, the bolt of pure electricity giving him the will to break free of the invisible chains that bound him. But as steps passed and he neared his target, he slowed, and felt the need to close his eyes, close his eyes and sleep. 'NO, I'm going to see this through!' echoed Jonathan and his eyes were then more open than they have ever been in his entire life.

As Jonathan neared them, they both pulled out of the kiss and looked deep into each other's eyes... Patrick laughed loudly, a belly laugh, a laugh of someone in complete control. Natalie didn't. She looked as if she was experiencing the worst nightmare imaginable, her face contorted into a reaction of pure horror. She knew what he was about to do with the object in his hands, she knew what he was planning but could do nothing to stop it. He held firm in control of her, his arm wrapped around her neck, the grip tight.

Jonathan was now but a mere few feet away but it seemed like the distance of a marathon, the energy he needed to get there sapped completely from his failing body. He managed one step and looked into the eyes of Natalie as she turned to see him approach, a tear fell down her cheek as she blankly looked at him...

Patrick raised the knife to chest height in a show of control and continued to look down at his prize...

"Please don't!" pleaded Natalie as she plucked up enough strength to turn back to him... "Please don't!" she echoed again, knowing these words were going to fall on deaf ears...

Jonathan was a mere step from them. Within breathing distance, and within earshot. He heard the comments and it made him even more determined to get her free...

Patrick just looked down at Natalie and smirked at her plea. He was in complete control, of both of them and there was nothing they could do...The look for fear in her face gave him even more joy as he moved the blade in the air...and...

"SHIT...HE'S BLEEDING..." Screamed Carl as he saw the blood begin to seep from the stitched wounds that Jonathan had... 'Come on Jonathan, give me something...'

Jonathan looked down, looked down at the knife piercing his flesh...He had thought it was meant for Natalie, something he would give his life to prevent. But no, it was meant for him, a trap he had fallen into so easily. He looked up and saw Natalie's eyes firmly shut, and Patrick's open with glee. He looked down again and saw it withdraw and leave a gaping hole...There was nothing to stop Jonathan falling to the ground. He had spent all of his dwindling energy reaching them and now he had been dealt the killer blow...His vision began to blur as he slipped...Patrick and Natalie seemed so far away now...

"Leave...le...leave my sister..." Jonathan couldn't finish, he hadn't got the strength, this was it, this was the end...

"Stay with me!" echoed to Jonathan. He opened his eyes and focused as much as he could...This wasn't Patrick or Natalie, but the voice was familiar. It wasn't the resounding voice that entered the void from nowhere, it wasn't any of his friends or family or work colleagues, the voice was different. But it was familiar.

"Stay with me." came again and now this person stood in front of Jonathan and bent down. He looked in the eyes of Jonathan and he knew who it was...he knew who it was...

They ya go folks...Sorry for the cheese but hay-ho, I couldn't help it...There was a bit of corn in there as well but what the hell!!(in a nonchalant way)

Sorry for the delay, and now I have said it let me just make it clear that I do not intend to say it again...I intend on finishing chapters in 4 days giving me 3 more for my buds to proof-read and opinionate me on them and then for me to post meaning I will hopefully post every 7 days...

To aid this, I am gonna make the chapters a little shorter from now on (maybe half length of this), but if you disagree with this and want me to continue to make them this long then plez let me know and we'll have to see what we can arrange between us...

Just to let you all know, cause I know you love info...(yeah right!!) I am not in Atlanta eating Sushi as it says at the top...that was two weeks ago and I can't be bothered to change it...I am now back home in the land of the bacon butty, the hendersons relish and the best Shopping centre in the world...(Meadowhall - I Love that place!!)

I hope you liked some if not all of the chapter...All responses are gratefully received whether it's good or bad...send em to grimstone@btinternet.com and I'll be sure to get back to you...

Look for chapter 3 to be out no later than 1st Feb...and look out for another story I am brain storming for at the moment called 'A Walk in the Snow' which will be another NSync story but a bit quicker to the punch (if you know what I mean - wink wink!!)and if anyone wants to proof-read it for me and tell me the crap bits to take out them I would be most grateful...

Have a great 2002... DCG