Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters who share names, descriptions, etc., with real-life people (specifically members of the group *N SYNC); however, this is all fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about those people. To read this work, you must be 18 or of whatever age is legal in the area you reside.
Thank you to all those who wrote to me after reading the first part of this story. You guys were really generous in your comments. I hope you enjoy this part as well--though it changes style quite a bit in places. Comments are welcome. E- mail me at storywrightr@aol.com. Thanks.
Subj: Disney Concert Date: 8/26/99 11:01 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey Josh,
I was at Paul's tonight and he was looking for something on one of his video tapes and came across the *N SYNC concert from Disney. He had taped it--he's a big fan, in case I never mentioned it. He loves Justin. Anyway, I asked him if I could borrow the tape. He was a little surprised--I've never admitted to him how much I like the group.
Anyway, brought it home and watched it. When was this done? Wish I could have been there. It was great. The interview with you talking about jazz music was really nice. I didn't know that you did that. You do do that right? Or was it just made up for the interview? Very cool. So you play the piano, huh?
You looked incredibly cute too. You really are an incredibly good looking guy, you know?
Anyway, I gotta get ready for bed. I have to be at work early tomorrow.
Jared
Subj: Re: Disney Concert Date: 8/27/99 12:21 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hi Jared!
Glad you liked that concert. It's part of what we've been doing on tour, but on tour we do it on a bigger stage and everything from costumes to dances get much more involved.
Yeah, the interview was real. I mean we talked a little before hand about what I was going to talk about, but it wasn't scripted or anything. I mean that really was me. Yeah, I play the piano. I love to play. That's how I work at the studio. I play and make notes and record stuff then put it together and get a song, if I'm lucky.
So Jared, you didn't say anything about September 12th. Are we on? Any ideas about where to go? I could come to your neighborhood. Maybe that would be quiet? Just let me know. You know you can call me if you want, right? Remember the number? 407-555-7843 (just in case you don't have it handy; hee, hee)
Can't wait to see you!
Love,
Josh
Subj: Re: Re: Disney Concert Date: 8/27/99 10:33 AM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hi Josh,
Sure, that Sunday should be good. I mean--WOW! I'm going to meet the one and only JC!!! From *N SYNC!!! I'd be a fool not to want to. Maybe he'll bring me autographs from the other guys!!! Oooooooooo!!!
Ha ha! Why do we have to go someplace quiet--can't I be seen with you? Can't I get my picture taken by some paparazzi? (How do you spell that???)
Anyway, back to writing about those sex devices!
Later
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Disney Concert Date: 8/28/99 1:06 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Dear Jared,
Hey, are you okay? I mean, your last note was a little strange. And you didn't even sign it. Did you notice that?
Do you want to be seen? Is that what you're talking about? Are you annoyed that I'm not comfortable going out in public? It doesn't have to do with you. It just makes it kind of hard to enjoy dinner if I'm someplace with lots of people interrupting all the time. It's just one of the things I have to put up with. It limits where I can go sometimes.
What's the deal about "JC"? I don't get it. Can't you think that you're just meeting Scott?
Love,
JC
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Disney Concert Date: 8/28/99 10:17 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
JC,
Sorry. Sorry to have made you mad. Sorry I'm not into all this. Sorry I'm not ready for the big time--ok? Not ready for show business or whatever. No biggie, you know? Whatever.
And Josh, there is no Scott, remember?
Jared
Subj: hello? Date: 8/29/99 12:26 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Dear Jared,
What happened? What happened to us? I mean, I thought there was an us. Or that we were on the way to being an us. Not that I have any experience being in a couple, but I thought I was about to be.
I'm not mad. Why'd you say I was mad? I'm worried. I'm really worried about you. And scared. I thought we had something great happening between us. What happened? Why are you acting like this? Are you angry? Are you scared? Are you just over me? Was it all just some joke to you?
I don't know what to say. It wasn't a joke for me, Jared. You were always talking about me being real. You were real to me. You ARE real to me. I want you to be really real. I want to meet you and be with you and talk to you and hold you. Can't that happen? Please?
I still love you,
JC
Subj: Re: hello? Date: 8/29/99 9:40 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Come on, JC--you just wanted someone to talk to. You wanted to play at being gay. To talk with someone who's gay so that you could see what it might be like. But that's a lot different from actually doing something about it. Actually doing IT! I need someone who I can be serious about--who I can see and be with. If I'm taking the chance of getting involved, it's going to be with someone who will be there with me and for me. You won't even tell your best friends that you "like guys"--God forbid we say that you are "gay"! We can only say that you "like guys."
So where's that leave me? Never to meet your friends--or if I do, I have to be, what? An old friend of the family? Some excuse like that? Some way to explain me away?
You're not getting more open--I'm getting more closed. I didn't even tell my best friend that I had someone I liked! I mean I had to like lie to him all the time. And it got really crazy over the last month when we'd go out and some hot guy would be scoping me out and I had to act like some virgin (oops, not a good word, huh?). Paul couldn't figure out what the problem with me was. I mean, some of those guys were really hot! Paul sure wanted them! But not me. I just sat like a little nun wannabe!
You know? Whatever.
Subj: Re: Re: hello? Date: 9/1/99 12:03 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Dear Jared,
I think you've maybe finally gotten what you want. You've made me angry. I mean right now I'm really tired. The concert was lousy tonight. It seemed my mind was somewhere else all the time. Wonder where, huh? And now I'm on a bus going to Memphis. Wow. I live such a glamorous life.
So I'm me, Jared. Maybe I was less than honest about it in the beginning. But for some time now, I've been honest. You know that I'm not out; not with my family or friends. You know that I'm a virgin. Maybe I'm not comfortable with calling myself "gay." Maybe I have to work on that. It's new to me. But that was part of what was so great Jared! You knew these things, and you seemed to be willing to help me with them. Or at least to accept them. I'm sorry that things aren't different.
So liked, huh? You said you couldn't tell Paul that you LIKED me. Liked. That means in the past, right? You don't like me any more? And we aren't even talking "love" anymore, huh? Guess that was just fantasy for you huh? Or were you just playing like we were characters in one of your stories. So easy when it's all on paper. Or on a computer screen. Easy to make it what you want. Imagine the rest, I guess huh? A little harder if it becomes real. I thought you wanted real!
You don't want real. I mean you are 29 and have never had a real relationship, right? So maybe it's not that this isn't real enough or possible enough or that I'm not available enough. Maybe it's that it's all TOO real!
I asked you out for September 12. I wanted to get together. Face to face. See you other than just looking at a picture. Hear the voice come out of a real person sitting next to me. That would have been REAL, Jared. I would have been real flesh and blood. And so would you have been. We could have touched, if you wanted. Known the warmth of another person.
And what was that about those hot guys in the bar? Like you would have gotten in a relationship with any of them! Ha! I bet you find something wrong with every guy you meet, don't you? I bet there's always something wrong with every one of them.
I still love you Jared, but you're making it harder and harder every day. Please stop this. Please come back to me.
JC
Subj: Howdy Date: 9/6/99 9:24 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey JC,
Saw the old MCC shows today. Pretty funny. You were a cute kid--but you sure got cuter as you got older.
So, how are you? Everything okay with you?
Jared
Subj: Re: Howdy Date: 9/6/99 9:51 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hi Jared,
Long time no talk.
Yeah, Just and I watched some of the MCCs today. It was fun remembering things from when we used to tape those shows. I guess it is pretty amazing how many people came out of MCC that are now working in music.
Spent the rest of the day just being lazy here at Justin's house. Leaving Orlando again tomorrow for NY to do the MTV awards. Yeah, been in Orlando. Still in Orlando.
Take care, Jared.
Josh
Subj: MTV awards Date: 9/9/99 11:57 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey JC,
Fun seeing you guys on the award show tonight. Some of it seemed a little tiresome. Was it bad there? I didn't like how Chris Rock was picking on you guys and everyone else. I really like his humor usually--like his show and his specials and stuff. But this just seemed so repetitive and mean, you know? Did people there seem to mind it?
Sorry you guys didn't win. I voted for you! Went on the Web and voted. Twice!
Hey, WHAT was with the TATTOO!?!?! I always read that you were afraid of needles. That thing looked huge. It also looked hot! As did you. And the dancing. And the way you guys did the song.
Guess you must be with all the other big stars tonight at those all night parties, right? Hope you're meeting lots of famous people!
Have fun!
Jared
Subj: Re: MTV awards Date: 9/10/99 11:34 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hi Jared,
Yeah, the parties were fun. I enjoyed spending time with the guys other than work. Met a lot of people. The tattoo was fake.
Got a plane to catch.
JC
Subj: Concert Date: 9/10/99 11:59 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey JC,
Watched the pay-per-view concert tonight. That was so cool! Wow--isn't that flying scary??? It looks scary! It was a great concert. I liked all the solo pieces and the decade pieces. And when you talked to the audience--very cool. You seemed so relaxed. Are you always? Even in front of so many people? Loved your solos--you have such a great voice.
You know Justin may not be gay, but he dances well enough to be! I mean, all you guys are good, but he is so amazing--it's like he takes it one more step. He's like so fluid as he moves through the dances. Wow.
Later.
Jared
Subj: Re: Concert Date: 9/11/99 12:21 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hey Jared,
You know, these days, I can't quite tell the difference between an e-mail from you and one from any of the crazed girls we get notes from. I can introduce you to Justin if you want.
JC
Subj: Re: Re: Concert Date: 9/12/99 12:39 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey JC,
Well, I guess I am a fan. Isn't that okay? This was the first concert of yours that I had seen.
So where are you guys? Are you in Orlando again? Are you at Justin's?
Jared
Subj: Orlando Date: 9/13/99 10:55 AM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hi Jared,
Yeah, we're in Orlando. Why? You afraid of running into us? Or are you wanting to get some autographs? Maybe some extra ones you could sell? Might as well get something out of your trouble, huh?
Want to hear how sick I am? I wasn't here all day yesterday. Know why? It was September 12. That date mean anything to you? Well, it did to me. I ended up in Winter Park. I walked up and down Park Avenue. I acted like I was shopping, but I was really just hoping that I might see you. I remembered you saying that your apartment is near there. Thought I might see you going out or something. Thought I might recognize you from the picture you sent me.
It's pretty around there. I walked down by some church and then on down through a parking lot to a grassy area down by a lake. It's pretty down there. And really peaceful. There are benches and a big cross. It was a nice place to sit and think.
And I needed to do some thinking. But all I have are questions. I couldn't come up with any answers. I think I need you for the answers. Wish I could get you to give them to me sometime. It'd be nice just to know. Just to finish it all up.
Anyway, it was a nice place down there by the water. I have to remember it.
Take care, Jared
JC
Subj: Re: Orlando Date: 9/14/99 10:03 AM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Dear JC,
So what are you doing while you are in Orlando?
Yeah, I know that place by the lake. It does belong to that church. It's nice down there, huh?
Take care,
Jared
Subj: Re: Orlando Date: 9/15/99 3:15 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Hey,
Yeah, we're in Orlando. I'm spending a lot of time at the studio. I'm enjoying it. Lots of time to work on some song ideas. No interruptions.
Course I had thought I'd be spending this time differently.
You forgot to ask about when we were leaving town again. Don't you want to know? Not that it really matters. I mean, what's it have to do with you? Right?
Whatever. Not sure we should be e-mailing anymore, Jared. I mean, what's the point, huh? I was really wrong about you, I guess. I don't think you're the guy that I wanted to meet anyway. Maybe I lied to you at first, but I think you're lying to me now. And to yourself.
Anyway, it was fun. Sure made me think about a lot of things.
Bye,
JC
Subj: dinner Date: 9/17/99 1:24 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Hey JC,
Want to come to dinner tonight? At my place?
Jared
Subj: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 2:11 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Are you serious? When?
JC
Subj: Re: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 2:15 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Tonight?
Subj: Re: Re: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 2:31 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Sure. What time?
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 2:44 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
We could meet at the cross by the lake at 7?
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 2:59 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
Okay. Want me to bring some autographed photos?
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: dinner Date: 9/17/99 3:10 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
no--just you
Subj: Date: 9/17/99 3:23 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
We're going to Nashville tomorrow. Have to begin rehearsals for the CMA Awards show.
Subj: Re: Date: 9/17/99 3:43 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Oh. What's CMA? What time do you leave?
Subj: Re: Re: Date: 9/17/99 3:51 PM EST From: sing4u To: wrightr
CMA is Country Music Association. We're performing with Alabama. Have to be at the airport at like noon.
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Date: 9/17/99 4:03 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Oh. Okay then. See you at 7?
Jared
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Date: 9/17/99 4:10 PM EST From: wrightr To: sing4u
Yeah. 7.
Thanks Jared.
JC
At 7:15 p.m., JC still sat alone on a concrete bench facing the quiet lake. He had been there since 6:45, wondering if he'd ever be joined by Jared. Or was he just being a fool to sit here and wait?
The lake was beautiful as sunset approached. The sky was beginning to turn pink and orange and it reflected so nicely on the still waters of the lake. JC lost himself in the view and for a moment allowed his other thoughts to disappear.
"Hi."
Startled, JC quickly turned from the lake toward the voice behind him. "Jared?"
"Yeah. That's me."
"Hey. I was afraid you weren't coming."
"I'm sorry. I was trying to get everything ready at the apartment and just didn't give myself enough time. I'm sorry. Were you waiting long?"
"Oh no--not really."
Jared walked forward and seated himself on the bench across the way from JC's and faced the lake. JC turned as Jared passed him so that he was once again seated and turned toward the lake, though his face was still looking across at Jared.
"It's been so long since I was down here. It's beautiful though, isn't it?" Jared asked.
"Yeah, it is. And really peaceful."
They sat silently for a few moments.
"So, are you hungry?" Jared asked.
"Um, sure. Are you?"
"Yeah, I could be," Jared said, allowing a little laugh. JC joined in the laugh. It seemed to allow both men to relax a little.
"Where are you parked?" asked Jared.
"Up by that church. I don't know the name of the street."
"That's good. We can just walk to my place from here and leave your car there. Okay?"
"Sure--whatever you say."
They rose and walked up the steps to the parking lot and then on toward the street. Walking in silence for several minutes, Jared finally spoke. "It's this way. Just up this block. I'm upstairs over this store up here. It's not very big, and not very impressive, but I like it."
"I can't wait to see it."
When they reached the store, Jared unlocked the door to the side. He pushed the door open and allowed JC to walk through to the landing at the bottom of some stairs. JC waited for Jared to close the door and relock it. Jared then led the way up the stairs.
"Something really smells good!" said JC.
"Thanks. It's not much. I'm really not a cook. But I do know how to bake a chicken. And with the right seasonings, it tastes pretty good. I also roasted some potatoes and made some carrots. And a salad--just romaine and tomatoes and cucumber. Hope that's okay?"
"Sounds great. And smells great."
"Good. So this is the living room--and dining area. The kitchen is in there. And the bedroom is back there. Like I said, kind of small, but I like feeling like I'm downtown. I love walking around here and all the stores and stuff. I know I could have something bigger if I went out to some complex, but this seems to have more character to me. You know?"
"Yeah, I do. I think it's great. Where did you get all the furniture?"
"Oh here and there. Just a few pieces were my parents. Mostly it's stuff I bought at sales or Goodwill or wherever. I even found a few pieces that people put out to throw away and redid them."
"That's so cool. It all looks great!"
"No, it doesn't . . . but it's okay."
"No, it really does look good! I'd love to have someplace and time to fix up furniture and stuff."
"Well, you'll just have to get a place. And then start taking some time off."
"Yeah, that would be nice. Don't know when it will ever happen."
"So sit down. I'll go see how things are doing. I think everything should be just about ready. Oh, would you like a glass of wine?"
"Oh, sure. Thanks."
Before going into the kitchen, Jared went to the stereo and pressed a couple buttons. The music began, but it took a few moments before JC recognized the song. "Who is this on the CD?" he called into the kitchen.
"Isn't it great? It's a CD I just got of Ella Fitzgerald singing Gershwin."
"It's wonderful. I didn't recognize her voice."
"Wait until you hear some of the later tracks. Her voice is so smooth and wonderful. They're really great recordings--and such wonderful songs."
"Yeah, I love Gershwin."
"Bet that would surprise a lot of your fans!"
"You think so? I guess. But it's such wonderful music."
"Do you ever wish you lived back then and did that kind of music?"
"Hmmm . . . that's an interesting question. I don't know. I love what I do. But that must have been a wonderful time. Singing in those clubs like in the old movies, you know? Must have been wonderful!"
"Here's your wine. It's just a Suave. That okay?"
"Sure. I'm not really much of a wine expert. . . . This is good."
"Good. I don't know wines either, but I know that I like this one okay. Be right back--I'm going to start putting things on the table."
"Can I help?"
"No, it's fine."
Several trips back and forth later, Jared motioned for JC to join him at the table. "You sit here."
"Thanks. Looks great!"
"Thanks. I don't think any of it could be messed up--so it should all be okay!" Jared laughed. JC joined in the laughter as again they seemed to relax a little.
After passing the dishes and platters back and forth, both men started eating.
"This is really good. Who taught you to cook?"
"No one. It's like that line in the old movie, if you stick a chicken in the oven what's to keep if from getting done?"
"Don't know that movie."
"Sorry. It's one of my favorites. Called 'The Women.'"
"I'll have to watch it sometime."
They sat and ate in silence, neither eating a great deal, but enjoying the food nevertheless. Jared refilled their wine glasses and made certain that his guest seemed to have everything he wanted.
"Want some more chicken?"
"No, that was all really good, but I'm really full."
"Want some dessert? I got some ice cream."
"Not right now--is that okay? You can have some."
"No, no--I'll wait too. Want to sit over on the sofa?"
"Sure. This CD is really good. I'll have to be sure to get one."
"Yeah. I listen to it over and over and never get tired of it. Her voice--those songs--they're great."
"Yeah."
They sat at opposite ends of the long sofa, sipping from their wine glasses.
Staring into his wine glass, JC asked, "Jared, what happened? I was feeling so close to you. Then you became someone else. And as nice as this all is, I can't stand just sitting here being polite with each other. I know this is the first time we've been together, but we know each other." As he finished, he looked up to see Jared staring intently into his own glass.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. All those things you said about me being afraid and never allowing myself to like anyone were true. I just get really scared sometimes, I guess. And you are just about as perfect as anyone could ever be--so you make me more nervous than anyone else."
"Perfect! Ha! That's really funny!" JC said, laughing.
Jared quickly looked up from his glass, shock and surprise on his face, then quickly joined JC in laughter. As he calmed down, he spoke, just barely louder than a whisper, "But you are almost perfect."
The two men stared into each other's eyes.
"So are you," JC whispered back.
Moments passed, then JC moved his hand across the seat of the sofa between them. Jared watched as JC reached as far as he could--but not quite far enough to touch Jared. Jared put his glass on the coffee table and placed his hand on top of JC's. Both men stared at the hands as if they belonged to other people.
JC finally turned his hand palm up under Jared's, allowing the palms to meet before turning his hand so that the fingers could intertwine. Jared let out a low, short laugh from his nervousness and pleasure.
Still staring at the hands, both men seemed to be watching to see what they might do next. But the hands just remained clasped together.
JC looked up at Jared's face, while Jared continued to stare at their hands. "You are beautiful. That picture of you looked good, but not as good as the real thing."
Jared looked up blushing, only looking into JC's eyes for a moment before it became too intense. He looked back toward the hands.
"May I slide over beside you?" JC asked.
"Sure," Jared answered, barely audible.
JC kept Jared's hand clasped in his as he moved closer and brought the hands down onto his thigh and once again stared at them.
"This is nice," JC said.
"I'm glad. . . . And I'm really glad you're here, Josh. I'm sorry I was such a fool."
"Stop. We're just going to go from here, okay? Forget whatever before."
"Okay. . . . Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"May I kiss you?"
"Yeah."
As they leaned toward each other, each man closed his eyes. But as if by magic--or magnetism--their mouths found each other and they shared their first, gentle and romantic kiss.
They pulled back and looked into each other's eyes.
"Oh Josh! I've wanted that for so long!"
"Me too, Jared! Me too!"
They quickly wrapped their arms around each other, sharing their first hug--and clinging to each other as if their very lives depended on this connection.
"You feel so good. So perfect. Like this is how we belong--together--just like this!" It was JC who had spoken the words, but it could just as easily have been Jared; their feelings were identical at that moment.
They relaxed the intensity of the hug, but only so that each could move his hands and arms along the other's back, exploring the body of the one they had fantasized about for so long. As they did so, Jared slowly turned his head so that his lips met JC's ear. First rubbing his lips over the rim and lobe, he then parted his lips and allowed his tongue to follow the same path. JC let out a low moan, enjoying the new experience. Jared took the lobe between his lips, sucking on it lightly.
JC turned his head so that his lips met Jared's while they were still parted from the ear lobe they had just lost hold of. JC kissed Jared's lips, the kiss taking on a new intensity from their first gentle kiss.
Though kissing was new to JC, it just seemed the most natural thing in the world. It was as if this was something he had spent every evening of his life doing. As the intensity grew, they enjoyed their tongues touching and exploring each other's mouths, as their hands continued to fondle the other's back.
After several minutes, they parted and looked into each other's eyes.
"Wow. This is so wonderful," JC spoke first.
"Yeah. I thought this was new for you."
"It is. But if feels like we've been together like this forever. It just all seems so natural."
"Yeah, it does to me too."
"But Jared? What does it mean? I mean, I don't want to stop or anything. This feels better than anything I've ever done. But, what does it mean? Are we like together? Or are we just having some fun? I'm not sure I want to stop either way. But I'd just like to know."
"I don't know Josh. I don't want to stop either. I just want this to go on forever. . . . I love you. I really, really love you. No matter how much it scares me or how crazy or impossible or whatever--I just know I love you. I loved the guy who wrote to me and the guy who called me and the guy who got mad at me and the guy who didn't give up even when I was an asshole. And the guy sitting here with me now. I love you so much I can't stand it!"
JC released a half laugh, half gasp, as he smiled broader than he ever had before. "Oh Jared! I love you too! I don't know how it'll work either, but if we really love each other and really want it to work, it will. Okay? Really!"
"For some crazy, unknown reason, I believe you. I really do!"
They hugged again, holding on as if for dear life.
Still holding onto Jared, JC turned and laid back onto the seat where he had first sat. He pulled Jared down with him, both adjusting themselves until they were lying on the sofa, Jared above JC.
"Hmmm . . . this is nice. I'm not squishing you, am I?"
"No. It's just perfect. You make a wonderful blanket!"
"Oh, are you cold?"
"Nope. I'm just very happy."
"Good."
After a few more minutes of kissing, Jared leaned up on one hand as he used the other to pull JC's sweater shirt up toward his neck. JC just looked down and watched. Under the sweater shirt, Jared found an undershirt. He looked up at JC's face and frowned. JC laughed and shrugged.
"You're making this a lot of work," Jared said.
"Aren't I worth it?" JC asked, laughing.
"We'll see." The men had relaxed and were comfortable joking with each other.
Jared yanked the undershirt up, pulling it free of JC's pants and pushing it up toward the sweater gathered at JC's neck.
"Hmmm . . . so beautiful. So perfect," Jared whispered.
JC's eyes grew big as he watched in wonder while Jared lowered his lips to JC's abdomen, gently rubbing his lips over the soft skin he found there. JC threw his head back, closing his eyes and moaning softly.
Jared stuck his tongue out and first circled and then dove into JC's shallow navel. JC whimpered in pleasure.
Jared took JC's arms from either side of his body and pushed them up toward the arm of the sofa above JC's head. He then gathered the sweater and undershirt again toward JC's neck, exposing JC's chest.
"So beautiful," Jared murmured before leaning forward to rub his lips and then his tongue over the exposed skin, finally moving to concentrate on the hard nipples on either side of the chest--first one, then the other--licking, sucking, nibbling, then starting over again, driving JC wild with pleasure and just a bit of pain.
"Will you go into my bedroom with me?" Jared asked with some fear in his voice.
"Okay." JC's voice matched Jared's, with a mixture of fear and excitement.
Jared led the way into the bedroom. Once there, they each kicked off their shoes and reached down to remove their socks. Jared reached over and pulled JC's sweater and undershirt over his head. He then stood there smiling and admiring JC's torso. JC timidly reached over and started to unbutton Jared's shirt and then pushed it open and off of Jared's shoulders. They tossed the shirts to a chair in the corner. Moving closer, they embraced, allowing their chests and abs to come in contact, as their hands wrapped around each other. They stood like that for moments, rocking back and forth. The music from the stereo had ended, but apparently they were hearing a tune in their heads--or in their souls.
Jared moved them toward the bed, then pulled JC over with him as they both toppled onto the bed, bouncing up and down a little. They both responded with a giggle. "That was fun!" JC noted, as he smiled lovingly at Jared.
They began to kiss again until JC broke away and turned Jared onto his back. It was JC's turn to explore. It was the first time in his life that he could really stare at another male's body without fear. And then to touch it. He flattened out his hand and barely touched Jared's chest with his palm. Then touching, he ran his fingers through the light hair across Jared's pecs. He discovered the nipples and how they would react to his fingers gently touching them--or lightly pinching them. He was suddenly compelled to rub his face across the hair and then his lips down the center of the chest and across the abs to the navel. He remembered Jared's tongue touching him there and mimicked the actions Jared had taken earlier.
JC suddenly thought to look up to Jared's face. Jared was smiling at JC's wide- eyed expression. "Are you laughing at me?" JC asked with a smile.
"No. No. I'm smiling at your beauty. And at my luck getting be with you your first time touching someone like this."
"I'm having fun," JC said almost meekly.
"Me too," Jared responded strongly.
JC moved up and kissed Jared on the lips again as he felt Jared's hands on his hips and then massaging his butt through his jeans.
"Are you happy like this? Or do you want to lose the pants?" Jared asked gently.
"We could lose them," JC answered shyly.
Jared rolled them over again, to position JC on his back. Giving him the most loving look he could, Jared looked from JC's eyes down to his jeans. It was apparent that JC was taking great sexual pleasure from their activities. Jared carefully undid the button and zipper on the jeans. He then stood at the foot of the bed and grabbed the bottom of the jeans and pulled. JC lifted himself off the bed enough to allow the jeans to slide off, leaving him in his boxers.
Jared placed the jeans with the other clothes at the side of the room, and while he was there, removed his own pants and folded them across the chair. Turning back to face JC, he watched as JC's eyes roamed over his body from head to toe, noting the bulge in Jared's gray briefs.
Jared returned to the bed and laid down on his side next to JC. JC turned onto his side, facing Jared. They spent the next several minutes molding their bodies together, joining as much surface to each other as possible, intertwining their legs while kissing, licking, sucking ears, rubbing hands over backs and buttocks. It was as if they longed to meld into one body.
They pulled their faces away from each other to just stare into the other's eyes. They knew they were sharing the same thoughts: Disbelief, awe, pleasure, love. And sexual need.
"Are you okay with doing this?" Jared asked.
"Absolutely," JC whispered. "I'm happier at this moment than I've ever been in my life!"
Jared's smile was so broad it almost hurt his face. "Me too! Me too!" After a pause, Jared separated himself from JC and turned him onto his back. JC's eyes were wide as he watched Jared straddle his legs and seat himself on JC's knees, his legs folded under him. He ran his fingers over JC's chest and down toward his waist. As JC watched, Jared pulled JC's boxers away from his body and slowly down toward his knees. Jared looked up at JC's face to see his eyes looking back at him. There was something of a worried or frightened look in his eyes; a questioning look.
Jared smiled at him and said, "You're even beautiful there!"
JC's face burst into a smile. Jared enjoyed the smile for a few moments before lowering his face toward JC's abs. He rubbed the top of his head against JC's tummy, allowing his hair to tickle the sensitive skin as he stared at the object of his growing lust. He pulled his head back, using his hair to tickle and tantalize JC's genitals.
JC moaned and caught his breath. In all his imagined encounters with another man, he had never included this! This first touch of his penis by another man was with the man's hair! But he only had to wait a few moments for the first experience of fingers wrapping around him, playing with his balls, giving him pleasure as he had never experienced. As he threw his head back and closed his eyes, he couldn't imagine anything feeling better.
But just then, he felt Jared blow lightly over his penis as he held the base almost painfully tight. Not sure that he could take much more of this, JC almost passed out when he felt what he realized was Jared's mouth closing around the head of his penis. JC had to open his eyes and see this. He had to see with his eyes what his body told him was happening.
Lust and love were impossible to separate in JC's mind at that moment. Every boy dreams of that first time. Some fantasize about what female will be performing the act; some fantasize about it being another male. But JC was finally feeling the reality. And he was sharing the moment with a man he truly loved. He knew that with his soul. No question.
Jared's ministrations were quickly bringing JC to the brink of no return. He moaned to let Jared know. But Jared did not release him from his mouth. JC began to worry that he could not hold out. He was becoming afraid that he would release in Jared's mouth and Jared would be angry with him. He became almost frantic; almost fighting to get free of Jared's mouth.
Jared released him and looked up at JC's frightened face. "What's wrong?" Jared asked.
"I can't hold out much longer! I wanted you to know. I was afraid I'd cum in your mouth."
"That's okay. I wanted you to."
"But that's not safe, is it?"
"It is if you've never been with another man. I can enjoy you fully; and you can enjoy the feeling fully. You told me the truth, right?"
"Of course! But, are you sure?"
"I'm very sure. I want your first time to be so special. And I trust you. And I love you."
JC looked at Jared with such love. He almost cried, he was so overwhelmed by his emotions.
Jared leaned forward and closed his mouth over JC's penis again. He lovingly tried to give JC the greatest pleasure of his life. And he succeeded.
Amidst moans and screams JC came. And came. It was the strongest orgasm of his life. He fell back against the bed close to passing out.
Jared raised his head and looked at JC's face and smiled. He stretched out over JC's body and slowly laid himself down full onto JC's body. JC opened his eyes and smiled. They snuggled together and held each other in love.
"Your turn," JC said.
"Nope. Not this time."
"Why? Why not? That's not fair!"
"Fair to who?"
"To you! . . . And to me. To give me the chance to make you feel good."
"That's so sweet! But you just gave me pleasure. Unbelievable pleasure!"
"I'm glad. But I still want to do more for you. And you haven't even taken your shorts off yet! From the feel of things, you aren't exactly finished down there!" JC laughed as he raised his groin to press against Jared's.
"Turn over." It was JC speaking with a new assertiveness.
"Yes sir!" They laughed together, but Jared did move to the side and laid on his back.
JC knelt at his side, admiring the beautiful body before him. He also admired the bulge in the briefs. He loved the idea that he was the cause of that excitement. Finally, causing the kind of excitement he wanted to cause! Not little girls screaming at him as he sang his heart out at yet another concert, but one single, lovely man who was excited by his mere presence with him in his bed. This was what JC had longed for his whole life. A moment like this.
Tentatively, JC took hold of Jared's briefs and started to pull them down. But he failed to lift the waistband free of the engorged penis.
"Ouch! Don't break it off. I want to keep it!" Jared said, laughing.
"I'm sorry!" JC quickly responded with worry in his voice.
"It's okay! I'm just kidding you. You know you can abuse these things pretty good without breaking them!" Jared continued to laugh. And JC joined him.
"Yeah."
JC tried again, more carefully, to pull the underwear down. Jared raised his hips from the bed to allow the shorts to be pulled down to his ankles and off his feet. JC looked back up to admire the penis and balls of his beloved Jared.
He began to feel them, to move his fingers over them. He studied them, almost scientifically. He was so taken with the sight. And the feel. As he continued, he almost forgot that Jared was there. That he was touching a part of Jared.
He suddenly remembered and looked up to see Jared's face smiling at him.
"What?" JC asked plaintively.
"Nothing. You seem to be studying me," Jared said with a smile.
"I am studying you. I want to know and remember every inch of you."
"Oh. That's nice."
"What was that? It throbbed! Was that because of me?"
"Oh yeah! It's all because of you."
JC suddenly had an overwhelming urge to put the penis in his mouth. It was as if his very life depended on it. He needed that piece of flesh within his body; within his mouth.
Jared was totally taken by surprise as he watched his penis disappear into JC's mouth. He gasped, almost choking on his own breath.
JC's enthusiasm made up for his inexperience. He was in love with that penis. He wanted to give it such great pleasure. At that moment, it was his only reason for being.
Jared was so taken by the ecstacy JC was causing him that he felt himself quickly approaching orgasm. Unfortunately, though he had recently been tested and was free of HIV infection, he still couldn't allow JC to take his cum into his mouth. He knew it was supposed to be safe, but somehow he didn't trust it. He couldn't take even the most remote chance that he might hurt JC. And somehow, he didn't feel worthy.
These thoughts somehow didn't stave off his approaching orgasm, and he had to roughly pull his penis away from JC's mouth. Aiming it up at his own chest, he stroked himself just twice before shooting over his own chest as he grunted and moaned and tried to regain his breath.
JC just watched, surprised that he had not been allowed to finish his task, but still enjoying watching Jared cum.
Jared looked up into JC's eyes and smiled. JC's surprised look quickly dissolved into a smile as well.
"Did I do okay? Why did you have to finish?" JC asked.
"No, you were wonderful! Almost too wonderful. I just didn't want to cum in your mouth."
"Why? Are you okay?" JC was suddenly worried--not about himself, but about Jared.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a test last month. And it's been at least nine months since I did anything with anyone. And a lot longer than that since I did anything unsafe."
"You've done unsafe things?"
"Well, sometimes things become unsafe without your intending them to. But I try very hard. Or I did try very hard. I hope those unsafe days are over." Jared looked into JC's eyes with love and hope.
JC smiled broadly, "Yeah. Only one safe boy for you from now on."
"That would be nice."
"I mean it. I mean, I mean it for me. I'd like it to be that way for you too."
"That would be wonderful."
After a few moments, Jared spoke timidly, afraid of the answer to his next questions. "So, can you stay? Or do you have to go?"
JC looked up at Jared. "I have to be at the airport around noon. But if we don't sleep in too late . . . I could drive home in the morning."
"That would be so nice." The two men just smiled at each other.
"Hey, what about that ice cream? Want to have some?" Jared asked.
"Yeah! That sounds great!"
"Good. I'll get it--and a couple spoons. Don't go away, okay?"
JC smiled, "Not going anyplace."
Jared walked out of the room. He didn't hear JC whisper, "I'm not ready for the most perfect night of my life to be over yet." He closed his eyes, smiled, and fell back onto the bed to await Jared's return.