Chapter 15 Another Type of Beginning
I was growing in more ways than one. At just under sixteen years old I had been voted "Best New Male Gospel Singer of the Year" and we had performed on the most prestigious country/Gospel music venue in the world. Now we would appear on the biggest religious cable network in television. The name of the special was "New Voices of the Nineties". You would think that all that was an answer to a lifelong dream. But the reality was that it may have been my Daddy's dream but so far in my life I had been along for the ride. But I now had a spark of ambition for fame and fortune--I had seen California and I now knew for sure that there was a life beyond the four walls of the tour bus.
Up to that point, singing was just something me and my family did. We were singers and musicians. Other people were farmers or factory workers or truck drivers. If my Daddy hadn't been an evangelist and musician, I probably would just be like any other boy growing up in the south despite my sexual proclivities. Bu t now I had seen a small part of the beautiful life and my goal was to get my share of it. It didn't have to be a California lifestyle but I wanted some time in my life that didn't have wheels on it.
That Sunday we all met at the headquarters of the cable TV network and they gave us a tentative lineup. The Stone family would be the first act to open the show and then the show's hosts would introduce each of the Best New Male Vocalists finalists in reverse order. Since I was appearing last, I would do one solo and then Chris and I would sing "Battleground" together to close the show. Battleground would be officially released by the label in three weeks and part of the deal with the Cable network was that the show would be aired on July 4th, the day Chris and I would begin our promotional tour for the recording.
The show was a one hour special, but with all of the setups and walk-through, it took us about three hours to rehearse. There was an audience and they kept interrupting with applause which also caused delays. So time passed slowly. I was anxious to do my songs and go home. We had two more days of vacation and I wanted to get away somehow and do some more California things.
To tell the truth, a lot of what we did during the rehearsals was boring. Daddy said the session reminded him of his old army days, hurry up and wait. The Stone Family song, "Sheltered Life", was the one Stone Family song we would do. We had adopted the the Opry house band's intro, so it had new life. I played lead guitar on it and then added some slide guitar to imitate the steel guitar part. We would use that intro to start the song off so it was a totally new sound. Then there was the Family interview . After that came the interviews and songs of the other three finalists and then it was my turn. The male host introduced would introduce me as this year's winner and then ask me about life on the road with my family. For the most part I would give the same rehearsed answers that I had been giving for two years except I added a part that Daddy and I had been discussing over the years and especially during our vacation in California.
Several years before it had been suggested that as part of revivals we also hold youth rallies with me and my brothers and sister leading them. At the time, I didn't want to do it because I didn't know if I could try to tell kids how to live their lives when I hadn't fully learned to live my own. I knew all the right words to say, but I didn't feel the call to say them. Furthermore, the only reason I refrained from the "sinful life" was the lack of opportunity.
As I have related in previous chapters, just like the Stone Family's first hit record," Sheltered Life", my life truly was sheltered. Except for those few brief times when I managed to get some private times with Bobby, Chris, and now Alan, I lived in a cocoon of the Hollow, the coach and the church. I knew nothing else. Even the money we earned didn't really have that big an influence on me because I really never wanted anything. Money was just a kind of scorecard. We were successful when the money rolled in. We had plenty of "things" back in the Hollow--if and when we were ever home. But our lives didn't revolve around "things". Since most of our lives were spent in the coach, our "things" had to fit the coach lifestyle.
Anyway, Daddy had begun talking about Youth Rallies again on several occasions during the past month while we were touring the south. He said, " I always imagined you would follow in my footsteps...that you would continue the Ministry where I left off...this would be a good step in that direction"...
I told him, "I don't really feel the call to preach...I would just be acting a part that I don't really feel"
Daddy said, "To be perfectly honest, I don't always feel the call either but once you get in the pulpit it just takes over...and besides, there are lots of Evangelists faking it these days..."
I said, "Daddy I love you and respect your Ministry but I don't want to just be a shadow of you. Look at all the major televangelists who build up a dynasty and then their sons take over where they leave off...as if it was a family business. I haven't seen one of them that hold a candle to their fathers".
"Thats true", Daddy replied, "but ours is different! You have the talent, the stage presence and the looks to surpass me hands down. You don't have to be a clone of me. You can be a powerful influence on young people, with or without the call. There are several churches on this tour that would love to have you talk to their young people . It doesn't have to be a real formal program. You and the kids can just sing a few songs, and talk to them about the Lord while your Momma and I hold the Adult revival. Whether you evangelize or just use your influence can't be anything but positive. You remember in the old days before we hit the big time?? How the kids used to sit up and pay attention when you would sing and witness to them? You could be even more effective that you are a leading Southern Gospel singer. Your influence these young people can turn their lives around. I want you to think about it and if you decide to do it we will have to give them an answer pretty soon so that they can plan and advertize it".
I didn't know what to say...As I said in previously, I had listened to enough sermons over the years that I could imitate my Daddy to a "T". I knew all the right words but I didn't know if I could really put the feeling into it to make it sincere. And the last thing I wanted to do was come across as phony...
At Chris's apartment the night before, I talked to him about it also. Chris said it was something only I could decide. He said, "Have you ever thought about why you are singing in the first place? Is it going to be your profession or will it be a Ministry. I am not speaking of your family, but what is your own motivation? When I play somewhere, it is strictly business. I am an entertainer of Christians--not necessarily a Christian entertainer".
"If I play in a church and the Minister introduces me, he may choose to refer to my music as my Ministry. I do not deny it, but I am strictly there to sing and earn money. I do not pretend to preach to anybody. Your Dad on the other hand is an Evangelist. His Ministry is music. Y'all may get wealthy in the business, but at heart he is a Minister. At some point you have to decide what you are personally".
He continued, "We had that Personal Manager talk to us at the Opry. It wasn't exactly an offer but I believe he was serious. We can have a choice of whether we want to try to cross over into Country and possibly even Pop. So you have to think about what you personally want to do. I would love to continue to sing with you the rest of my career but I am not about to try to draw you away from your family. You are the one who has to decide where this recording together thing is going... You have your whole professional life ahead of you. You need to think about it".
For three weeks I had been thinking about it. I was just turning sixteen in two days and I knew I had my whole life ahead of me. There was no hurry in making any type of commitment. If the Personal Manager was interested when I was still fifteen, he would be just as interested when I turned 18 or even older. I knew that I didn't have to rush into any commitments with Managers, or with Chris either. It sounds cold when I say it, but I liked Chris and we had many special times together, but it was not a lifetime commitment--not at that age.
I had thought about it a lot and for the first time in a long time I sincerely prayed for guidance. The next morning I still didn't have great revelation but I really felt like I wanted to be a positive influence on kids, especially teens. So I told my Daddy I would do it if I could do it my way and that there would be no adult telling me what to say or how to say it. I would plan it out and rehearse it the way I wanted it to be...
So during the interview portion of the TV program I planned to announce that the kids and I were going to be holding youth rallies in the coming weeks,and to look for us in California, Washington and Oregon. Although the show wouldn't air until the 4th of July, there would be promotional ads on the Cable network for the show and for the rallies.
After the rehearsal, I was just casually looking around and saw the Filipino guy Alan waiting in the wings with a girl. I went over and Alan introduced me to the girl as Ruth who he claimed was his girlfriend. I chatted briefly with them and then led them over to my parents and introduced them. I told them, "This is Alan, one of the guys who went sailing and scuba diving with us yesterday".
He was very macho acting and charming despite his deceptively beautiful face. He and Ruth were very lovey-dovey and he told them how much he enjoyed our singing and the show in general. He related how he was a student at UCLA studying business administration and that he and Ruth had been going together since high school. As it was getting towards evening he asked them if I could go out to dinner with him and to a small party with friends afterwards. Then he would bring me back to the condo iat whatever time they wanted me in. After he assured Momma and Daddy that none of his friends were into alcohol or drugs, they gave approval. Both were both smitten with his personality and charm. After that, we all went outside and I showed them around the coach, then I took a quick shower and changed into casual clothes and we left.
In the car, Alan told me that Ruth and he really had been close friends since high school but that she knew he was gay and was happy to help him try to set this up--he called her his "beard". I didn't really know what that meant, but I later found out it was like his mask to hide his sexuality. In the years to come I had many "Beards"--in fact, I even had a wife who I loved dearly but was really just a mask.
We drove to Ruth's apartment and dropped her off and we continued to his apartment. As we entered and closed the front door he turned around and kissed me deeply. He said, "I never thought I'd get you alone again".
We embraced all the way to the sofa and collapsed onto it. His hands were all over me caressing from my thighs to my chest and mine were just as lively. It was so good to be with him. He slipped his hands under my polo shirt and massaged my nipples. I had never experience much sensation from them before--they had been just decorative little nubbins on my chest--but as I was so relaxed with him that I focused more on his attention and they came awake to his touch. Feeling them become hard he lifted the shirt and began licking and sucking them. My cock was already as hard as I could possibly get, so I couldn't tell if it had erotic effect on me but it felt good. He slipped my shirt over my head and I drew my arms out and he tossed it somewhere in the dimly lit room. While he continued to minister to my lips and nipples he unzipped my fly and unbuttoned the top button of my pants. With one hand he slid them down over my butt as I raised up to free them. I kicked off my loafers and he slid my pants and briefs off and they followed my sweater into some dark corner.
Meanwhile I likewise stripped him of most of his clothes and I could see him in all his tan glory. Because of my ancestry I was naturally somewhat dark completed, but alongside him I looked like Frosty the Snowman. We nestled together on his couch and he began nuzzling his way from my lips to my nips to my crotch. I raised one leg up on the back of the couch like an old dog that wants his belly scratched. As he neared my cock he laid his cheek on it and his hot breath caused the head to pulse out clear nectar from the slit. He stuck out his tongue and licked it up and spread the salty fluid all over the head. He pursed his lips and sipped out as much of the juice as if it were a soda straw. He then began bathing the shaft and my drawn up balls giving them butterfly kisses from the tip to the root. Continuing south, he planted kisses and love bites as he approached my hole. I spread my knees until my crack was wide open to him and his tongue licked its way into the core of me. He flicked it in and out and screwed it into me as far as it could go.
As you know, being a bottom was not my thing but he had me so hot I had to try him out...I whispered I'm ready whenever you are...he raised his face and reached into a drawer on the end table and got out a tube of lube and a pack of condoms. He took the tube and spread a generous amount on his fingers and gently slid one into me. He worked it in and out a few times and gradually added more fingers until I was stretched wide open. His cock was not real large and he loosely rolled the condom down his cock. I grabbed the lube and laid a bead of it down the condom and slid my fist up and down a few times to spread it around. He grabbed a pair of cushions from the end of the couch and he raised me up and slid them under my ass. I was gaped wide open and ready. He knelt between my upraised legs and pushed forward with his until the head of his cock touched my hole. Gradually it entered and pushed its way into me until he bottomed out.
My hips were already fully extended and blocked by the pillows...I couldn't move so he had to do everything. He began pushing it in and out. With every stroke, I tried to thrust after him...I just wanted him inside me. As I moved the pillows gradually softened and contoured to allow me some freedom of movement. I thrust to meet him and he parried from side to side moving his butt in a circular motion. Together we were racing towards the breaking point and we erupted almost simultaneously--him inside me and me between our stomachs. Gradually the thrusting and pulsating slowed...all I could do was continue to kiss him.
Being young, dumb and full of cum, we made the evening last. We got cleaned up and reversed rolls and made love to each other again. By then I was becoming numb to further stimulation and we found our clothes and he took me to a friend's home where there actually was a party going on. Alan introduced me to all the girls at the party and being a shy country boy I played the part of an ignorant hick to the hilt. All of them wanted to show me around the Los Angeles area and when they found out I was a singer, they found a guitar made me sing a few songs for them. I knew number of southern rock that I had memorized from the radio and so I played some Lynyrd Skynyrd and a few Eagles songs and they couldn't believe how well I improvised them. They wanted to know what I was doing in town and when I told them about the TV program the next day, they all said they were going to come for the taping--so much for a focused, quiet time. Alan got me back to the condo by 11 PM and I slept in the next day until 10 AM.