Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB, nor have I ever met them. I do not know anyone connected to the BSB. This is just a story I made up, in other words not real.
Warning: This story may contain sex, you know the rules that apply to that. I'm not for sure where I'm taking this, so it could get a little crazy. Oh, little fact it involves an Elf, I'm not going by the rules, or mythology. Well, I might just a little but not all that much.
Authors Note: Ok time to say thank you to those who have helped me. To Eddi my editor and best buddy, to Chris my boi thanks for being with me. As for anyone I may have forgotten I'm sorry, but thank you deeply. Ok the symbols I use are as follows, *** those mean either a character change or who I'm starting the chapter off with. Now I haven't been using ( ) these here lately but I'm putting them in here just in case. I use those symbols when I want to add a note or change. Ok on with the story, I'm sure your tired of hearing me rant. Or maybe you even skipped this part, oh well I wrote it any way. If anyone would like to write me please do so.
Zack
I stood up and looked at all of them closely, the tall blond was gone. "I guess you don't believe in lights in this house." The short blond said to me, even his voice I knew it from somewhere. "I'm not much of a light person, what do you want?" He looked at like I was being rude, I smiled in return. "Well, I don't want anything, it's Nick that wanted to talk to you." I nodded I was guessing that Nick was the other blond. Then I understood who they were, I almost laughed. "So that's why I keep wondering where I've seen your faces and heard your voices. I have to admit I never thought I would have BSB in my house." I moved to the way and hit the switch, light filled the room. "If you don't mind waiting I need to take a shower, if you do there's the door." I walked out of the room and entered the bathroom. I stripped down and turned the water on, then I stepped into the shower. I washed myself then my hair, then rinsed dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked back to the living room not excepting to see anyone, I was wrong. They were all sitting down on the couch, even Nick. "I guess you didn't mind waiting, so what can I do for you?" Nick looked up at me and shook his head a few times, then he looked to Kevin. I shouldn't have followed his gaze it took me right back to my own daze.
I was trapped in this mans eyes like it had been the first time. Wait, this is the first time, isn't it I mean I've never met him have I? My head was pounding, my vision was blurring. I refused to give into this pain to allow it to control my mind. Then it was like opening a door to another place I had been once before. When I opened my eyes I remembered everything, Zell had sent us back. He didn't really have a choice, there was more so much more. We shouldn't have remembered any of this, only Nick would have remembered. Wait he should have died, I remembered what that other elf had said, the evil one. I had wanted to charge up to him and kick his ass for what he had done to Kevin. Kevin, he was everything to me and I only wanted him to be happy. He loved Nick, he had always loved Nick. That didn't matter, only his happiness and if that was with Nick then so be it. There was more I was more, I wasn't anywhere near human anymore. I was stronger, faster than any human on earth, and I had magick. Zell had changed me, made me more like him but the other elf had tried to take that away from me. So I wasn't as strong, I was still human, and had a human life line. I still had the powers he had given me, but now I would die like I was supposed to. When I regained my mental status I looked straight at Nick.
He was smiling like he knew what had just happened to me. "Thank you, I needed a refresher course. Now what I want to know, is what the hell happened to Zell?" Nick's face lit up and he started jumping around. I looked at Kevin, and tried my best not to cry. I just hoped that Nick could make him happy, because I couldn't. "What's wrong with you too, your acting like you've both lost your minds?" I looked at Brain, then I understood why Nick had looked for me. They didn't remember anything that had happened in the other world. I shook my head slowly and tried to think of a way to make them remember. I only came up with one idea, even if it meant going through the same pain again. I left the room quickly and searched through my clothes until I found my dagger. I walked back to the living room where Nick was now sitting quietly looking at Bri and Kev. "Now I know this may sound a little crazy, but it just might work." I held the knife up to my hand and started to make the cut. Kevin stopped me, his eyes were full of fear and sadness. "Zack what are you doing, you know you can't stand the sight of blood?" I moved my hand down quickly and then cut his hand open, then I pressed them together.
My mind was filled with images, it was nothing like the first time this had happened. I was seeing his dreams this time and I was in them. The last time all I had seen was images of Nick. This time I was in those images, only it wasn't so clear but it was getting there. The fog in his mind was lifting and quickly, he was remembering. Then I stopped looking at his memories and paid attention to myself. I was losing strength every second that passed, but I couldn't stop not now. I pushed the pain that was raging in my body away. I had to get him to remember everything, that was the reason Nick had come to me. I was happy that he had managed to keep me in his mind, but I knew in my heart he still loved Nick. It wasn't Nick's fault or Kevin's for that matter it was just the way he felt. I could feel my knee's giving way as they painfully hit the ground with a thud. I was forced to release Kevin's hand, in more ways than one. I knew that I couldn't take the pain anymore. Then there was the little fact that I had passed out as well. When I woke up my whole body ached like someone had beat my body with a hammer. There was a bright side to all of this, Kevin wasn't in any pain what so ever. He was smiling slightly while he held my head. "That took a lot out of you didn't it, why didn't you stop sooner?" I smiled, I couldn't it was just that simple, I had to make sure Kevin remembered everything.
He was trying to help me up, but it was like picking up a dead body. I didn't have any strength left, and I was getting weaker. My hand wasn't bleeding it had healed just like the first time I had done this with Zell. I didn't understand why I was getting so weak, this hadn't happened the first time. "You've given all of us our memories back, how did you do that?" I tried to answer but I couldn't find my voice, all I could do was smile. Everything was starting to get dark again, it wasn't so bad really. It was really peaceful almost like going to sleep. Only I didn't have any control over everything that was happening, but that was ok. I didn't mind, I had set Kevin free from what ever that elf had done to him. I had this strange feeling that I was dying, but it didn't really scare me. I knew that in the long run Kevin would be happy. He loved Nick and now he had him, well at least I think he does. It was to late for regrets now, to late for a lot of things. I wished that I had another to chance to make things right. I had made so many mistakes, and I had hurt so many people. I hadn't thought about it then, but now it filled my mind. I was so full of myself that I had stopped caring for other people. Well, that wasn't completely true, I had always cared for Kevin. I hoped that he remembered at least that, if nothing else.
****Nick
I couldn't believe this was happening, it just didn't seem posable. I had thought he could help me, but I didn't think it would cost him his life. His breathing was slowly down it was almost to point of stopping. Kevin was freaking out, Brian looked like he was losing his childhood friend. Then again with their memories back they were losing an old friend. He had taken my place in the other world, so they had grown up together. He had been the youngest member in that band, the kid that went to Kevin late at nights. Well, I didn't know if had done what I had but there was a good chance that he had. "Kevin, I know this is a bad time to ask, but did Zack's mom die in the other world?" Kevin nodded slowly, but that was all he could do. "The state had given custody to Howie, we adopted him. Late at night we would hear him cry in his sleep, Kevin always went to him. He was the only one Zack would stop crying for, he would latch onto Kevin and hold tight. You two were a lot a like, only with him his nightmares were real." Kevin was nodding while he held onto Zack's dying body. I had never gotten to meet him in the other world. From what I knew of him now, I knew that he had to of been a better man than I was.
When Zack stopped breathing Kevin let a roar escape his lips. The sound was filled with pain and loss to a degree of agony I had never heard before. Tears streamed down his face as he whispered into Zack's ear. I had a good feeling about what he was telling Zack. I closed my eyes and wondered if Zack had known how much Kevin had cared for him. "It's just like last time, I never got a chance to tell him how I cared about him. He was gone before I could tell him, he thought that I loved someone else. It was just that I had never been given any other choice. I didn't think I had any other choices, I thought that my dreams were all I would ever have. Then that night when we had formed that circle to come after you. He had revealed his true feeling for me with his mind, I was so taken with the idea that I couldn't speak. He had taken it as rejection, when it had only been confusion. I had never thought he would even give me a second thought, and I thought he was straight. Now it's happened all over again, except this time he died. What I saw in his mind was so pure and for me and me alone. All he wanted was for me to be happy, even if that wasn't with him. He had hid the pain he was feeling from me until the last second. When it took over his body I felt just how much he was willing to go through, I couldn't have taken that much for anyone." I looked at Kevin, I had caused this to happen one way or another, it had been my fault.
Brian was shaking his head as he dialed nine one one. "My phone isn't working in here I'll have to take it outside." We nodded but he never made it to the door, a woman was blocking it. She looked at Zack's body and shook her head slowly, then she looked at me. "I'm happy to see that you are well Nick, my son sacrificed a great deal for you. It seems a lot of people do that for you. I wonder why so many would care about you so much, what is it that you have?" I was a little confused I was excepting to see a queen, not a red head. Then she dropped her guard and we could all see the queen of the elf's. She was more beautiful than any other being I had ever seen or read about. "He isn't dead yet, but I can't help him, only Zell can help him. Zell hasn't been seen since he pushed everyone out for their safety. I believe he is trapped in the realm where he fault for you. I will not ask for your help, but I will demand that you save my son." I looked at her, she did look powerful, but I didn't like the way she was speaking to me. "All you had to say was that Zell was in trouble I would come running to help him. Do you understand that, or are just like the gray elf's?" I had hit the right button, she turned bright red, and I mean turned. Her whole body, hair, and eyes all of it was bright red, she shook with anger.
She held her hand out toward me, and before I knew it Brian was in front of me. "You'll have to go through me to get to him." She smiled and then laughed loudly, she had the evil witch laugh down pat. "Your everything I hoped you would be, now I see why my son chose you. He made a good choice, and I'm sorry for coming across so sharply. You have to understand the human race and my own have never been on good terms. You are different Nick, and smart which happens to be a plus. I don't think anyone could have gotten to me so quickly, at least not a human." She looked normal again, well what was normal for her anyway. She then knelt down beside Zack's body, she started shaking her head again. "So young, and he may already be to far gone for anyone to save him. I'll have my healers work on him, but Zell made him this way. Zell is the only one that would be able to really help him. I don't understand how he did what he did, no one should have been able to lift that spell. Yet he managed to lift it off all of the people that were involved." My heart caught for a second as Scott entered my mind. If Zack had lifted the spell off of everyone that was involved then Scott had to remember me. I smiled to myself and thanked him for everything he had given up for us.
It wasn't that I had already counted him out of action, it just didn't look good. "I know this must be confusing for all of you. Let me explain something about what Zack is now or was. He was a middle being so to speak, half human half elf. When he did what he did he used all of his life force up. All of his human life force, which means what ever is left is pure elf. He still has a chance but it is very slim and we have to get him to Zell. My healers may be able to keep him alive for now, but understand Zell is the only one who can save him. I will be back shortly with some of my people, you should get in contact with your friends." Then she was gone, Brian quickly walked outside of the house and started dialing on his phone. Kevin was smiling slightly, he kept his lips close to Zack's ear. I could hear some of the things he was telling Zack, and it broke my heart. He had so much hope that Zack would be fine in the end and that they would be together. "Nick could you step out here real quick, Howie wants to talk to you." I nodded slowly and walked out onto the porch. I took Brian's phone and the first question that was asked was about Zack. I looked at Brian, he looked like a little kid that didn't know what to say. Howie was asking question after question, he was so hyper. Brian hadn't told him what had happened to Zack.
I didn't know what to tell Howie, he thought everything was fine. He wanted to talk to Zack, he kept telling me how much he missed him. "Howie why don't you just come down here, it would solve a lot of problems." Howie stopped for a second, I could hear his breathing. "He isn't ok is he, I mean you make it sound like something's really wrong. If he's hurt Nick you can tell me, it's not like I'm going to freak out." I thought about it a second and decided to tell him everything. Once I finished Howie wasn't talking at all. "So he's dying, this can't happen Nick, I wish you could understand. You weren't there when I got custody of him. Now to think that he could die, it's unthinkable for me. He's been through so much Nick, and in this world he went through it all alone. Listen I'm on my way there right now, AJ's coming too." Then he hung up, I was more than a little impressed by Zack. He had managed to get close to all the guys without letting himself get just as close. I know that he cared for the guys, you couldn't live with them and not care. It was just I had this strange feeling that Zack never really let the other matter as much. Well, I had to believe he let Kevin get that close but none of the others. I never could have done that to any of them, then again I didn't have his life.
I wished that I could understand him better, know his life like the others. Then I thought twice about making a wish like that. A few minutes later Zell's mother walked into the house with five men. "They will take Zack to my castle where they will try to keep him alive." After that was said the men formed a circle around Zack and they were gone. "We have to collect your friends as quickly as we can. Now I believe I can collect the one in Florida, but the others you'll have to get together." I nodded and she was gone again, an hour later Howie pulled up in front of the house. He jumped out of the car and ran into the house. "Where is he, I have to see him, Nick where is he?" I walked out of the room and let Brian fill Howie in. I had other things on my mind, like seeing Scott again. I still held every single memoire of Scott in my mind, and now they were getting stronger. It was like I had never stopped living in that other world, I guess it was a gift from Zack. When I walked back into the living room Howie had tears falling from his eyes. I understood why Kevin was so close to Zack, but I didn't understand why Howie was so upset. I knew that he had adopted Zack, but had they really been that close? I looked at Howie he was getting worse by the minute. Brian was trying his best to comfort him but it wasn't working.
When Zell's mother returned she had Scott by her side. The look on her face said that something was happening. "I have some news on Zack, it isn't to good everyone should have a seat." That was all that need to be said, everyone grabbed a seat and looked at her. Scott stayed at her side, but his eyes stay connected to mine. "First off I'm sorry it took me so long to return, but on the way back I was called back to the castel. Zack is getting worse, his sprit is starting to give out. We've managed to keep him alive so to speak, but his body is fading away. I nor any of the others have ever seen anything like it, and something tells me he doesn't want to live. I have looked into his mind, and all I have seen is pain. He has no reason to live on his own, and without trying to live he will not survive. Do any of you know anything that would give him reason to try to survive?" Kevin stood up quickly followed by Howie and the others. "I love him with all of my heart and soul, if he knew would it be enough?" She looked at the doorway, she looked deep in thought. When she turned back her face hadn't changed or even brightened slightly. "We can try, but I don't know really." Kevin nodded and looked at Howie, it was like a silent agreement. One way or another they were going to give Zack a reason to live. The good queen held her hands outward. We all formed a circle, Scott was at my side. I think it was the first time that my mind wasn't focused on Scott.
Then we were gone, it was nothing like traveling with the gray elf. This was far beautiful than anything the gray elf could have done. This trip was filled with colors and filled the heart with joy. It was like a rainbow, but there were more colors than what you would see in a rainbow. Then it all stopped and we were in a place filled with light, and the walls were gold. The floor was golden with a large red carpet leading to some doors. "Zack's sprit lies in that room before you, his body is another room down the hall. I will stand by his body while you try to make contact with his soul. I will warn you that when you enter that you will see everything in that boy's mind. It will be like living his life from day one, seeing his joy and then his pain. Now normally there would be no danger, but he has two lives. One life that was filled with love and the other filled with pain. When you enter the room you will both lives one at the time. For an elf this wouldn't be a problem, for a human it could drive you insane. I fear this will be the outcome, if you can make it through his lives you then have the chance to help him. This is the reason I had to think about bringing you here to try to help him. In truth I was more worried about losing my son by bringing you here. I know in my heart that Zell would rather you do this than save him." Kevin and Howie were already moving toward the door where Zack's sprit lies.
I ran up to their sides to catch up, soon the others were with us. When the door opened we entered as a group. The room was in total darkness, it was like a pit that never seemed to end. Then the room was filled with light and images that didn't make sense. His memories were flashing before our eyes, his birth, everything. When it started to slow down I found that we were living his life as a BSB. He was in a church singing while Brian stood by the doors and listened to him. He had a really beautiful voice that filled the church. When you looked closer you could see tears falling from his eyes. "That didn't happen, I don't remember that, he wasn't crying I don't think." Then Zack's ear twitched slightly, he continued to sing but he whipped the tears away. Then Brian moved to his side and started talking to him. Then everything started moving very fast again. I watched as the guys stood beside Zack while he said his final farewell to his mother. Kevin and Howie had been at his sides helping him stand without it being noticed. Then the memories sped up again this time he was eighteen. He had pulled Howie to the side, tears trailed down his face. "I want to thank you for taking care of me D. You were the father that I had always dreamed of having, you've helped me so much. I wish there was a way that I could repay you for all the kindness you've shown me." I looked to Howie, tears streaked his face.
I watched as Howie reached outward toward the image. "If you want to repay me, then I think I know of a way. All you have to do is live a good life, and let other people in your heart. Let people see what I see in you, and that would be payment enough. By the way I think you should tell Kevin what you told me, before it's to late." Then the memories sped up again this time it was Kevin's wedding. Zack was looking at Kevin with so much pain in his eyes. When he looked toward Howie I saw one single tear fall from his eye. He whipped it away quickly and it was like ice flowed over his body. I could feel the coldness that had taken over his heart. We were now at a concert and Zack was singing a short solo, his voice was so cold. It was like he no longer had any emotion left in him to put into his voice. He put up a good front, but I watched as he slowly grew away from the others. Then we were in his room it was dark, it was a hotel room. Zack was sitting on his bed, tears fell one after another. "Come on Zack just pull it together, you can do this. Just go and tell Kevin how you feel about him, how you've loved him for years. It's not really that hard, and if he rejects you, at least you tried. If he tries to kick you ass, you'll get your ass kicked. Why am I talking to myself when I could be doing something more." Then Zack stood up and left the room he walked very slowly down the hall.
He stopped for a minute to talk with one of the body guards. Then he entered Kevin's room quietly, I could feel the fear in his heart. He was making something up while he moved toward Kevin. "Kevin, is everything all right, I could have sworn I heard you call out." I watched as his body started shaking slightly, tears fell from his eyes. He reached out slowly and touched Kevin's lips. He couldn't feel any air coming from Kevin's nose or mouth. He started shaking his head, then he moved to Kevin's side. He tilted Kevin's head back and held his nose closed. He started trying to breath for Kevin, he was doing everything properly. "No, Kevin you can't leave me, not now, not ever. I need you Kevin please don't leave me alone. Help someone please help, call an ambulance!" He was screaming at the top of his lungs. "Come on Kev, don't leave me like this I need you so much. I love you, please I'm so sorry I never told you. Please don't go baby, come back, could I get some help, I need help." I watched as the other guys rushed into the room, Brian looked sick. Zack turned to them tears still falling, he tried to speak but his voice was gone. Time started rushing forward again, it was Kevin's funeral. Zack stood close to the casket his whole body shook.
I watched as he reached down and touched Kevin's face. "Everyone I love dies, why is that Kevin, why do I lose those I love? I've loved you since before I knew you existed, I don't know how really. All I know is that you've always had my heart, even if you didn't want it. Every night I've dreamed of you, only to awaken to an empty room. I know it sounds a little silly, but it was a part of a song I was writing for you. I miss you so much Kev, and now you'll never know how I felt about you. The guys keep telling me that you can hear me. I don't know if that's true, but if you can I love you. I'm sorry that I never told you before, maybe it would have changed things. I guess I'll never know, maybe someday we'll meet again. I promise that if we do I'll tell you one way or another." We watched as he leaned down and kissed Kevin on the cheek. He moved away slowly, in honesty I don't know how he did it. Time started moving again, when it slowed down I could see Zell. It was weird but it looked like they were doing what Zack and Kevin had done. Then everything started making sense on how Zack knew what to do. Then slowly the room went back to total darkness.
It was starting over again and this time I had an idea it wouldn't be anywhere near as good. This time it went straight to when Brian had first seen Zack in the church. Then quickly moved past that area. We watched as Zack stood beside his mothers casket all alone. When his knee's hit the ground no one came to his aid, he cried uncontrollably. We watched as a man walked up behind Zack and pulled him away. I knew that it wasn't his father they looked nothing a like. Time passed quickly but not as fast as it had before. Zack was in a court room standing before what looked like a family. He looked so sad and lost, then time started moving quickly again. Zack was standing in a dark room, he was naked and shaking. When the lights came on a man was standing before him with a belt. My heart started beating quickly, I wanted to turn away but I couldn't even close my eyes. I watched as the man beat Zack till he was bleeding and laying on the floor. The man laughed at him then kicked him a few times. He left Zack laying on the floor, Zack didn't move for a little while. When he did it was very slow movement, filled with pain. Time flew by, night after night we watched as Zack was beaten. There was never a scar left but the bruises and whelps on his body looked so painful.
When time sped forward again it stopped in a dark ally. Zack was standing in a dead in with five guys moving toward him. He had to be at least sixteen, he looked a lot stronger. When the guys moved in closer Zack turned around and smiled. He pulled a dagger out from behind his back. It was the same dagger he had used today, but I don't think he was trying to help anyone this time. He kicked the first guy then sliced another guys chest wide open. The other three started running he chased after them yelling loudly. Time moved forward to Zack sleeping under a bridge in the middle of winter. He looked so cold, but his eyes looked colder than the harshest winter. His hair was long and he looked almost like a beast. The clothes he was wearing looked old and torn beyond repair. Then he stood up slowly and moved downward until he was facing a police offerer. He smiled coldly and held his hands outward, the offerer just walked away. Zack laughed and walked back under the bridge to lay down. Time started moving again, this time Zack was in a house. His hair was cut and he was doing push ups, then he was kicking a large bag. His whole body was perfectly toned in every single area, but his eyes held no life. They were stone cold, he was like a man made of stone.
Then everything went dark, in a far off corner a blue light was shining. It was an amazing color, so bright and, but still dark. I moved toward the light, the others were right behind me. When we reached the light, it no longer looked like a light at all. It was Zack and he looked so weak and tired. He looked up at us with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. "I didn't think I would ever see any of you again, it's good to see all of you." His voice sounded something like the wind, and it was getting weaker. "Are you happy with him Kevin, I hope so, you deserve happiness. Nick promise me you'll always keep Kevin happy, he loves you so much. I think he's always loved you, it's in his heart, I've seen it. That's ok, it's just a part of life, you live and sometimes you find love." Zack was starting to fade away, Kevin was stepping forward. "Zack, if I had only known that you had loved me. It's true I did love Nick, but that was only until I knew he couldn't love me back. It opened my mind to other things, to other people. Then I found that you loved me with all of your heart and soul. For the first time in my life, I was loved by someone for the right reasons. You didn't love because I was famous, or because you thought I was cute. I didn't think I would ever have that until you, then I fell so quickly." Zack looked at Kevin, his eyes filling with tears.
He stood slowly then reached out and touched Kevin's face. "I love you, and I think that I always have, I just couldn't see it." Zack was getting brighter by the second then he faltered. "It's to late for that Kevin, I'm dead, or I will be soon. I wish that things could have worked out differently, my times up. I give up Kevin, I don't want to live with any more pain, I've had enough." Zack turned away and tried to move away only Howie stopped him. "How can you just give up after all you've been through?" Zack turned on him with these cold gray eyes. "Why would I want to go on after everything I've seen, after all that's been done to me?" Howie looked at Zack like he didn't know him anymore he looked saddened. "You don't me Howie, you never did, you knew a dream. That's all that life was a dream that ended. It doesn't matter anymore, look at me Howie, I'm just a ghost." Howie looked away for only a second, then he looked back with tears trailing down his face. "Does that mean you never cared about me, that everything we went through was for nothing?" Zack looked at Howie with confusion written all over his face. "Don't you get it D, it was just a dream a wish, a simple twist of fate. None of it was real, none of it was ever real. You never saved me from a world of pain, you didn't really raise me. It's all a dream that was far to sweet to be real, even with the large amount of pain." Zack was shining brightly, brighter than ever before.
To Be Continued