SILENT NIGHT

To all of my readers. May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be Gay. And may you find true love in 2009.

Copyright 2009 by RimPig. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to Nifty Archives, to archive and display this work. All other uses are expressly forbidden unless explicit arrangement has been made with the author. This copyright applies to all chapters and pages of this work. It may not be reproduced, posted, stored electronically, or archived, except for personal, non-public use, without the express written permission of the author.

DISCLAIMER: This story is fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidence and is not intended by the author. This work contains homoerotic and sexual behavior between males and may not be legal for reading or publication depending on local or national laws. Therefore the reader is forewarned to read at their own risk.

SILENT NIGHT By RimPig 2008

December sixth. Less than three more weeks until Christmas. I had gotten up early, dressed and hopped into my pickup truck and headed for the mall. I only had one more Christmas present to buy, but it was the hardest one. I'd already picked up the gifts for my mom and dad and my little brother Timmy. They were easy to buy for. I got dad a new Black & Decker drill that was like computer-controlled and you could just dial the settings that you wanted. For mom, I went to Circuit City and got her a GPS navigation system. Trust me, the way my mom gets lost, it was more a necessity than a gift. For Timmy, he was the easiest. I just went to Toys "R" Us and got him the newest Elmo "Live". The thing told stories, danced, and practically seemed alive. I knew he was going to love it.

No, the biggest problem wasn't my family. It was my best friend, Mike. We'd literally known each other since kindergarten. He only lived two houses down so it was almost like we were brothers growing up. We were both the same age, eighteen, and we were both seniors in high school. We were also both jocks. We were both on the football team, Mike the quarterback and me, his favorite wide receiver. The rest the year we spent on the wrestling team where, luckily, At 5'10" and 180, I was just a few pounds lighter and a few inches shorter than Mike so that we didn't wrestle in the same weight class. Well... that wasn't exactly true. We practice together all the time, at school or sometimes out in my garage where my dad had set up wrestling mats for us. He said it saved wear and tear on the furniture and stuff in the house. Actually, the practice must have helped both of us because we were both tops in our weight classes. We also worked out a lot together over at Mike's house where his dad had set up a weight set in their garage which we both used.

That was also part of the problem. The intense physical contact with Mike caused a definite and embarrassing physical reaction in me. While this is normal among wrestlers to occasionally get a hard on, this wasn't occasional. This was every fucking time. And it wasn't just the feel of him. No! The scent of his body and even his sweat was driving me crazy as well! Actually, the practice must have helped both of us because we were both tops in our weight classes. We also worked out a lot together over at Mike's house where his dad had set up a weight set in their garage which we both used.

Because of our involvement with sports and are close friendship, spending nights at each other's houses constantly, Mike and I had seen each other naked hundreds of times. I was very aware of what a beautiful body he had. Beautiful muscles, smooth, unblemishedskin and a cock than any guy would be proud to have swinging between his legs. While Mike and I had never had sex with each other, we did have sex beside each other. We both started jacking off when we were about twelve. And it was not unusual for us to jack off together while looking at each other's porn stash. So I knew how big Mike's cock got. I knew how much cum he shot. But I didn't know what it was like to touch him. I didn't know what it was like to have him hold me or kiss me or any of the other things I fantasized him doing to me when I was alone.

Over the years, beginning when we were got to high school, we had both dated girls. A lot of times we double dated in either his dad's car or my dad's. But neither one of us had ever had any kind of a serious relationship. I didn't know what to think about that. If I was honest with myself, I had never met a girl that held my interest for any length of time. I always seemed happiest when I was with Mike. And that's where all the problems started.

I don't know when it was but sometime in the last couple of years my feelings for Mike had started to change. Oh, I still liked him. Still felt closer to him than anybody but somehow it started to be more. My feelings for him grew deeper and stronger almost with every passing day. But we were guys! I couldn't tell him any of this! If there was one thing we never talked about -- or almost never -- it was our feelings.

For the past month or so, I'd been trying to think of what to get Mike for Christmas. I'd gone through all the lame things like CDs or DVDs or game cartridges but none of those things were what I really wanted to get him. I wanted to get him something that would tell him what I was feeling. There was just one problem, I didn't know what I was feeling. Well... I kind of did but what I was feeling scared to shit out of me! Because if I really looked at it, I would have to admit that I was in love with him. I was in love with my best friend and I didn't know what the fuck to do about that! I was afraid to tell him for fear that he would hate me. And I was afraid not to tell him because I was afraid I'd lose him. I didn't know what the fuck to do!

From watching way too many commercials on television I'd come up with this crazy idea that I would buy him a piece of jewelry. Something valuable. Something he could wear that would tell him how I felt about him. I wasn't exactly sure what, so there I was at the mall and going through every jewelry store there was. But I just couldn't find what I was looking for. Something that would be right. I didn't know what it was I was looking for, but I knew I would know it when I saw it.

After I'd gone through the three or four jewelry stores in the mall -- twice -- I gave up. I got back in my pickup truck, but instead of heading home I headed into town. I didn't go into the city much as it was some distance from where we lived and most of what I ever wanted I could find around home. But not this time. I started driving around the city and ended up in this area that was all little shops, restaurants, and bars. One of the things I noticed is that most of them had rainbow flags hanging outside of them or in their windows, so I knew I had found the 'gay' section of town. I didn't even know such a place existed or there were that many gay people to keep all these businesses in business. I found a parking space and parallel parked my truck -- which was a whole new experience for me, I don't think I'd ever parallel parked since my drivers test.

I got out of the truck and started walking down the street. One thing that struck me immediately was that I was getting noticed by a lot of guys. Some of them would openly stare at me and a number of them smiled. It was obvious, that they considered me attractive. That was also a whole new experience. I had a lot of girls in my life look at me that way but never guys. I was really surprised at my reaction to it. I wasn't angry or upset, in fact, I kind of liked it. It made me feel good.

Since it was way passed noon, I was getting really hungry. I saw this little caf‚ and decided to go in and get something to eat. I went in and sat down at a table. I noticed there were no other patrons in the restaurant but when I looked at my watch it was past three o'clock so that figured. This young guy, just about my age, came over and greeted me.

"Hello! Welcome to the Over The Moon Caf‚. I'm Brian, and I'll be your server. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Hi. I'm Liam. Maybe some iced tea?"

"Do you want regular iced tea or we have some really nice raspberry iced tea?"

"Raspberry sounds good. Let me have some of that."

"Here's the menu with the lunch specials. You have a look at that while I get your iced tea."

I barely had time to look on the lunch specials before Brian was back with my raspberry iced tea.

"Have you decided yet or do you need more time?"

"Could you give me a few more minutes?"

"Sure, no problem. Let me tell you, all the lunch specials are really good, but the chef has on my personal favorite -- beef stroganoff. And he does a really wonderful job with it."

"But I don't what it is. I don't think I've ever had it."

"It's this really wonderful concoction of tender slices of beef in a sauce made with red wine, sour cream, and mushrooms. And it's served over noodles seasoned with poppy seeds."

"Okay. It sounds good. I'll try it."

"Great. Now that comes with a salad, what kind of dressing do you want?"

"Do you have blue cheese?"

"Yes, but better yet, we have Gorgonzola."

"What's that?"

"It's an Italian cheese. Kind of like blue cheese. Trust me, if you like blue cheese you're going to love the Gorgonzola."

"Okay. I'll give it a try. I guess this is my day for new experiences."

"Are you new in town? I've never seen you in here before. And mostly what we get our regulars or people from the neighborhood."

"No. I live out the suburbs. I hardly ever come into the city but I was out shopping for a Christmas present and I couldn't find what I wanted at the mall so, I thought I'd drive into town and see if there were any jewelry stores here."

"So you're looking for jewelry? There are several really nice jewelry stores close by. I take it you're looking for something for your girlfriend?"

"Uhh... no. I don't have a girlfriend. This is... for my best friend, Mike."

I couldn't believe that I was talking to him like this but he just seemed so friendly and so easy to talk to. I'd seen the rainbow flag on the door when I came in so I figured that he might understand.

"For your best friend, huh? I take it that you and he are very close."

"Not as close as I'd like to be." I could barely hear myself answer my voice was so low.

"So he doesn't know how you feel about him?"

"No. I was hoping the gift would kind of tell him."

"Then I know just the place you should go. There is this jewelry store called Victoria's Treasures. It's down this street and around the corner. Just tell them that Brian sent you, and ask for Dale. He is my lover. I'm sure he can find something for you."

"Your... lover?"

"Yes. My lover. Neither one of us ever cared for the term "boyfriend". It sounded like all we were doing was dating. And we've been living together now for two years."

"Two years? How old are you?"

"I'm twenty. I know, you probably thought that I was like eighteen, right? I get that all the time. I think that I may get carded until I turned thirty. Not that that's a bad thing."

"Yeah I did think you were eighteen. I'm sorry, that's how old I am and I thought you were my age."

"Well it's not like I'm ancient or anything. There is only two years difference between us. I'll tell you what. As you can see, it's not very busy in here today. Let me put your order in and then I'll come back and we can talk more."

"Thank you. I'd really like that."

Brian went in the back for a few minutes. I sat there utterly shocked at myself for saying some of the things I had. I had basically admitted to Brian that I was gay, something I didn't even have the courage to admit to myself -- until now. I started to think about all the problems this was going to cause. I thought about my parents finding out and how would they deal with it. I thought about it getting out of school and what I go through. Fuck! I might even get kicked out of sports. But, worst of all, what was Mike going to do when he found out and especially when he found out that I was in love with him? I knew that now. I knew that what I had been feeling for Mike was love. I was in love with my best friend and I didn't know how to tell him or what to do about it.

I guess what I was thinking about showed on my face because when Brian came back to the table he gave me a very strange look and then set down across from me.

"Why do I think that you just 'came out' to someone for the very first time?"

"It shows, huh?"

" Maybe it's the fact that you're as white as a sheet and you look like you're going to faint any second now."

"I don't think I'm going to faint. But you're right about the rest. I've never told anybody. I've never had anybody I could tell. And now I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well? What do you want to do?"

"I wish this day it never happened. I wish I could forget about all this and everything go back the way it was."

"No you don't. You may think you do, but believe me all you'd be going back to is the same pain I could hear in your voice when you talked about him. It's obvious you're in love with him and there's nothing that's going to change that. Holding it all inside, hiding from everyone just hurts. I know. I was exactly where you are two years ago. That's when I met Dale. I was on the high school swim team and he moved to town for his senior year. He'd been on the swim team at home so he joined ours. I think I fell in love with him the first moment I saw him. I'd never felt like that about anybody. But I was lucky, he seemed to feel exactly the same way about me. Let me ask you something. Does your friend Mike have a girlfriend?"

"No. To be honest, neither of us date very much and neither one of us has ever been involved in a serious relationship with anybody."

"Is it possible that he feels the same way about you that you do about him?"

"I don't know. I've been too afraid to look at that."

"How long have you two known each other?"

"All our lives, ever since we were in kindergarten."

"Oh, shit! That's the problem right there!"

"What do you mean?"

"When you've known each other for a very long time and you see each other all the time, you tend to miss a lot of clues about each other. You kind of stop seeing that person as they are, and you see them like the picture you have of them in your mind. You take each other for granted and you don't notice things like him looking at you in a new way. A way he's never looked at you before."

"But that would mean that he hasn't noticed how I look at him."

"Well... maybe. It could be that he has noticed but too afraid to say anything, just as afraid as you are."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because Dale and I went through it at first. I was afraid he'd find out how I felt about him and he was afraid I'd find out the same thing about him."

"What did you do? How did you end up telling each other?"

"Actually, the same way you're trying to do it. The first Christmas that we knew each other I wanted to get him something that would tell him how I felt about him. The only problem was I had no idea what to get him. I guess I was afraid that he'd find out how I felt even though I really wanted to tell him."

"So what happened? How did you end up telling him?"

"I didn't have to. He told me. He came over to the house on Christmas Eve and he handed me a small, wrapped box. I opened it up and inside was a gold medallion on a chain with my zodiac sign, Aquarius, on it. When I turned it over, he'd had the back engraved."

At that point, he reached into the collar of his black T-shirt and pulled out a small gold medallion on a chain. He turned it over so I could see the words his lover had engraved there. It said, "I love you. Dale."

For a few minutes, there was complete silence between us. I watched as Brian gently pressed the medallion to his chest and held it there over his heart. I wondered if he felt a connection to Dale, his lover through the engraving on the back. One look at his face and there was no doubt how much he loved Dale.I wondered if I looked like that when I thought about Mike, which I did maybe a couple of hundred times a day. I'd always heardthat being in love was a particular kind of hell. Let me tell you, that's true. But sitting there thinking, I suddenly had a really bright idea!

"Maybe that's what I should do! I'll get him a medallion like that. Except for one thing, I don't know his zodiac sign. Or mine either for that matter."

"You know his birthday, don't you?"

"Yeah. July 24th."

"That makes him a Leo. When's yours?"

"I'm exactly two months younger than he is. September 24th."

"That makes you a Libra. I don't know how to tell you this, but Libra is Leo's marriage sign."

"What do you mean? Are you saying we're supposed to get married?"

"No. I'm not saying that. Especially since it's only legal now in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Canada. But it does mean that your two signs can indicate a long, close, emotional relationship."

"Like you and Dale have?"

"Maybe. If you're lucky. And if you ever get around to telling him how you feel about him. Your food must be ready. I'll go back and get it. You just sit here and think about what we talked about."

Like I was going to be able to think about anything else? I didn't know if I had the courage to do what Dale had done but I had a strange feeling that I was about to find out.

Brian brought my food and I started eating. He was right. Everything was delicious, but it was kind of wasted on me because all I could do was sit there and think about what Brian and I had talked about. Of course, being the growing boy that I was, I finished everything. I paid the bill, leaving Brian a generous tip and got directions from him again of how to get to the jewelry store where his lover Dale worked.

I walk down the street and turned the corner and immediately saw the jewelry store. I went inside but I didn't need to ask for Dale. The first person who approached me was young and slender with the swimmer's body.

"Can I help you?"

"Are you Dale?"

"Yes I am. And you are?"

"My name is Liam. Brian told me to talk to you. I want to get a medallion for someone like the one you got for him."

"Luckily, we still have a selection of them. What zodiac sign?"

"Brian told me it was Leo."

"My little astrologer." Dale chuckled.

"Can you do the engraving on the back like his?"

"Oh, he showed you that, did he?"

"Yeah. He told me the story about how you gave it to him."

"That's unusual. He doesn't tell that story to everyone."

"I guess he told me because I'm in kind of the same situation. I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know how to tell him. I'm hoping this will work for me just like it did for you."

"Well, Liam, I hope it does, too."

He took me over to a case and showed me this beautiful gold medallion with a lion on it.

"The lion is the symbol for Leo." Dale told me.

"What's the symbol for Libra?"

"That would be the Scales of Ballance." He said, reaching into the case and pulling out another medallion. I could see the scales on it.

"It looks like the statue in front of the courthouse."

"I believe that's where the Scales of Justice come from."

"Well, I'll just take the one for Leo. Who knows, maybe Mike and I'll be back for the other one."

"I really hope that it works out that well for you."

I did, too, but the closer it got to Christmas the more nervous and scared I became. I spent those weeks trying to watch Mike very carefully. I tried to watch the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, anything I could see that would tell me that he was feeling the same way I was. But if he was, I couldn't tell. And it was driving me insane!

Finally, Mike and I made plans to get together on Christmas Eve at his house. The night before I hardly slept at all and what little sleep I got was punctuated with dreams about Mike. Dreams in which I gave him the medallion and he screamed at me calling me all kinds of horrible names and threw me out of his house telling me he never wanted to see me again. I hadn't cried since I was a little kid but I woke up in tears were streaming down my face. I don't know what got into me, certainly I hadn't been to church since I was a little kid -- my parents not being at all religious -- but I got out of bed, got down on my knees beside it and started praying.

"God! If you can hear me, I've never asked you for anything. But could you see your way clear to helping me. Please! All I want is Mike to love me like I love him. I know some people say that you don't believe in two guys loving each other. But when I was a kid and went to Sunday school, they kept telling us that God is love. That you made all of us and that you love all of us. So, I guess, you made me the way I am. And since you made me this way, you must love me like this. Please, just let Mike love me as well. It's all I ask. It's all I'll ever ask. Amen."

I climbed back into bed and thought to myself, 'I sounded more like a kid asking Santa Claus for a toy truck for Christmas.' But somehow it must've helped because the next thing I knew Christmas Eve had dawned and my room was filled with sunlight.

I'd like to tell you that I woke up happy and at peace but that would be a fucking lie. I spent the entire day a nervous wreck. I couldn't talk, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sit still thinking about what was or wasn't going to happen that night. I ended up taking several long walks just to get out of the house and away from my family who were driving me crazy. Not that they were doing anything out of the ordinary. They were just being themselves. But they were making me a nervous wreck. Finally, when I went to go out about four o'clock, my little brother Timmy asked if he could come with me. I really didn't want them along but at the same time, I love the little kid and I didn't want to hurt him by saying 'No.'

We had no more started walking when Timmy turned to me and asked, "Liam, what's the matter? Are you mad at me?"

"No! Why would you think that?"

"You've been like really upset all day. I was afraid it was something I did."

We were out in the woods across the street from our house. I sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree and pulled Timmy to me, putting my arms around him.

"No, Bro. You didn't do anything. This is just something I'm going through."

"So what's the matter? I want to help."

"I really wish you could, Bro. But there's nothing anybody can do."

"Why not? What's wrong?"

If there was one thing I knew about Timmy, he was going to keep asking until I gave him some kind of answer. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to tell them the truth either. He was way too young to understand. Besides, that's all I needed, to have him know that his brother was gay. Even in kindergarten now that was the worse name you could call somebody. Not that any of the five-year-olds, like Timmy, knew what it meant. It was just the worst name you could call somebody.

"Look, Bro. It's like Little Stevie (that was Timmy's best friend). Do you remember when you first got to know him? Were you ever afraid that he wouldn't like you even though you liked him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm kind of going through the same thing. There's somebody that I like a whole lot and I don't know if they like me or not. I'm going to find out tonight so I'm like really scared that they won't."

"You don't have to worry. Everybody likes you. All my friends think I have the coolest brother in the whole world. You're all jealous of me."

"They are? Why?"

"Well... just like now. You let me go places with you and you talk to me. You don't ever yell or hit me. And you let me share your bed when I get scared at night. A lot of guys with older brothers don't get treated as good by them as you treat me."

"That's because I love you, Bro."

"So you got to trust me when I tell you that whoever it is they are going to like you. They won't be able to help themselves. Promise!"

I squeezed my arms around him and giving him a hug and then gently kissed his forehead.

"Thanks, Bro. Talking to you really did help. What do you say we go out and toss a football around for a while? Would you like that?"

I didn't have to ask that last question. Timmy loved the time we spent with me tossing balls to him and helping him learn how to catch them. I guess somewhere down inside of me, I really wanted him to be a jock like me. I wanted him to know the excitement and the exhilaration of competitive sports. I also wanted him to know the incredible sense of belonging and friendship that sports can give you. At my age, I knew it wasn't going to be long before I wasn't living at home anymore and I wanted to give him something that would kind of take my place when I was gone.

Timmy and I spent the next couple of hours tossing a football back and forth and that physical activity seem to help calm me down so that by the time I was ready to go down to Mike's house I was not the nervous wreck I'd been all day. I wasn't calm, but I wasn't scared any more either. The way I looked at it came from something Timmy had said about his friends being envious of him having me as a brother. I started to think that just as lucky as I would feel to find out that Mike was in love with me, he really should feel lucky that it was him that I chose to love. At least, that's how I hoped he would feel.

I slipped a small box covered in silver paper and with a silver bow on top into the pocket of my jacket and walked the two houses down to Mike's. I climbed the porch steps and rang the bell. I heard the sound of running feet and then Mike opened the door. He was standing there in a burgundy pullover sweater and a pair of black jeans. The colors went well with his dark hair and blue eyes. Have I mentioned his eyes? They were large and expressive. There were times when I felt like he wasn't just looking at me but was able to see down inside of me. To see every part of me even the parts I tried to hide.

"Hey! Liam, buddy! Come on in. I've been waiting for you to get here."

"I'm not late am I?"

"No! But now that you're here, I feel like Christmas can really start."

Mike looked at me and I was shocked. I don't ever remember him looking at me that way before. It felt like I made his whole world light up. It was just exactlyone of those kinds of looks that Brian had talked about. A look I'd never seen from Mike before. A look that almost said that he loved me as much as I loved him. But I pushed that idea aside. I was too afraid that it was just wishful thinking on my part.

"Come on upstairs, your present is in my room and I can't wait to give it to you."

I followed him up the stairs and into his room. Now, I'd been in his roommore times than I can even count but it had never looked like this. The whole room was lit with red and green candles and on the nightstand between the two twin beds was a small decorated and lit Christmas tree. The whole room smelled of pine and cinnamon.

"Wow! Mike! What you've done with your room, it's really beautiful."

"I'm really glad you like it." Mike said, his voice low and husky. "I did it for you."

"For me? Why?"

"Because there are some things that I really need to talk with you about and I wanted you to feel comfortable."

"I've always been comfortable here with you."

Mike walked over to his dresser which had a large nativity scene sitting on top of it. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a small silver covered box almost identical to the one I had in my pocket. He handed it to me and said, "Merry Christmas."

I just stood there, the box in my hand and not really knowing what the fuck to do. Mike, however, knew exactly what he wanted.

"Well! Go on. Open it!"

I tore off the silver paper and the silver ribbon and there was a name on the top of the box. It said Victoria's Treasures'. I lifted off the top of the box and there, laying on a pillow of white cotton floss,was a gold medallion with two balanced scales on the front of it. I could see that it was attached to a gold chain, just like the one in my pocket.

"Turn it over." Mike said, his voice soft and deep.

I reached into turn it over but my hand was trembling so badly that instead I dropped the whole box and the medallion and chain fell to the floor. Both Mike and I bent down to pick it up at the same time and ended up smacking our heads together.

"Oh, Fuck! That hurt!" Mike said rubbing his head. "I've always said that you got the hardest head, Liam. I'm glad you can't tackle me."

"I'm sorry, I'm just a klutz tonight." I said this as I bent down and finally retrieved the medallion. It was laying in my hand and I very carefully turned it over. There were words on the back that had been engraved there. Just four words. One simple sentence. It read, "I Love You, Mike."

I just stood there staring at the medallion in my hand, for once in my life, totally and completely speechless. Then I started to laugh. I laughed so hard and so long I eventually reach the point where I could bearly standup. Mike, in the meantime, was standing there staring at me and the look on his face told me he was not the least bit happy. I reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out the matching box and handed it to him. He tore off the decorative paper, opened the box and saw the matching medallion.

"Turn it over. It's engraved, too."

I watched as he turned it over and read the simple four word sentence that Dale had inscribed on the back for me. "I Love You, Liam."

Mike got a look of complete puzzlement on his face.

"But... but... how did you know?"

"I didn't. Tell me something? Did you meet Brian too or just Dale?"

"I met both of them. I went in to get something to eat and started talking to Brian about you. He showed me the medallion he wore around his neck and told me the story about it. I went to the jewelry store and bought it from Dale. He even did the engraving on it."

"When was this?"

"About a week ago."

"I bought yours about three weeks ago. So that means..."

"That they both knew the whole time."

"I'm sure that it made them both very happy. I just have one question."

"What's that?"

"Now that we know that we're in love with each other, what are we going to do about it?"

Mike slowly walked across the room to where I was standing. He reached out, pulled me into his arms and for the first time gently kissed me on the mouth. Having never been kissed by a guy before, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. The kiss was both strong and gentle, just like Mike. I slipped my arms up around his neck and pulled our mouths together once again. When I kissed him, there was nothing gentle about it. My body was raging with passion as was the kiss I gave him. And he was right there with me, giving me passion for passion, intensity for intensity, as our tongues dueled with each other within our mouths.

I could feel Mike's hands exploring my body through my clothes. But I didn't want him touching my clothes. I wanted him touching me. I wanted to feel his hands on my body. I wanted to somehow let him know that I was his in every possible way.

He seemed to get the message because the next thing I knew he was pulling me down onto his bed and wrapping his legs and arms around me so that there was no way that I could get loose. Not that I wanted to. The kiss continued until we reach the point where neither of us were getting enough air and needed to come up for a breath. When our mouths finally unlocked his beautiful blue eyes looked down into mine.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

"Is it more than two years?"

"Way longer! I can't remember a time when I didn't want to like this, here in my arms, here in my bed."

"Believe me, for the last two years this is all I've wanted."

"I think he goes back to those times when we jacked off together. I wanted so badly to reach over and touch you then, but I was afraid you would freak the fuck out and I'd lose you."

"I don't think you would've lost me but, you are right, I probably would have freaked the fuck out if you'd done that."

"Didn't you feel at all that you wanted to touch me?"

"Of course I did. I was just too scared. I figured you'd beat the crap out of me, throw me out of your house, and tell me you never wanted to see me again. But I got to touch you. Why do you think I always wanted to practice on the mats with you?"

"Didn't you notice I never said no'? Not even if I was completely exhausted from practice, just the chance to get my hands on you was enough to fill me with energy again."

"Mike... where do you see this going between us?"

"I haven't really thought a lot about it. I was always afraid it would never happen. But I know what I want."

"What's that?"

"You. For the rest of my life."

"Then Merry Christmas. You've got what you wanted. It's all I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I even got down on my knees and prayed to God for that last night. I guess there really is a God and I guess he answers prayers."

"You prayed for me?"

"I prayed for us. For us to love each other. For us to spend our lives together."

"Well, contrary to what a lot of people think, it would seem that God is all in favor of gay marriage." Mike chuckled.

"No, I just think that God is all in favor of love."

"I hope he's in favor of making love because I want you really bad. I've been literally aching for you for months now."

"Is that why you haven't been dating?"

"Of course! I didn't want any of those girls who kept throwing themselves at me. The only person I wanted is you."

"Well... you've got me. And for as long as you want me. There's just one thing, however."

"What's that?"

"I sure hope you have some idea of how two guys make love because I don't have the faintest idea what to do."

"I do have some idea. It's fucking amazing what you can find on the Internet."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I found some gay porn sites and I also found this site that's all stories. There were all kinds of love stories on it. Even ones about guys our age. And some of them described in complete detail what it was like for two guys to be together."

"Mike, are you really sure this is what you want?"

"Absolutely! Don't you?"

"God! It's all I can think about. I guess I'm just used to being so scared."

"Yeah, I've been so scared that you would figure it out and end up hating me for it."

"That's exactly what I was feeling. Please, make love to me, I need you so bad."

"No problem."

Mike's mouth came down on mine. I could feel his hands running all over my body. Finally, he began to slide them under my shirt so that I could finally feel his hands touching my skin. At the same time my hands were busy trying to get under his sweater. He seemed to notice that I was having some difficulty because he rose up and pulled it off along with his T-shirt and threw them across the room and onto the other bed. Then he reached down and started to pull on my shirt until he had it off me. This he also tossed onto the other bed so that it joined his.

As I lay there half naked beneath him, he looked down at me and I could see him surveying my body with his eyes. If I was asked to describe the look in his eyes the word that would come to me would be "Hungry".

"My God, you are so beautiful." Mike's voice was deep in rough.

I reached up and ran my hand up his ab's to his chest. Feeling the smoothness of his skin and the warmth there.

"Oh, fuck! So are you!"

We stayed that way a while just running our hands over each other's bodies, feeling each other's muscles. It was a completely new experience for both of us. Except when we wrestled, I had never felt free enough to really touch Mike's body not the way I really wanted to. As I moved my hand back down onto his abs, I could see the large bulge in his jeans where his cock was obviously trapped. Holding my breath, I slowly slid my hand down until it was covering his erection through his jeans. I could feel it throb under my hand at the same time that I heard a deep moan come out of Mike. I don't know where I got the courage, but I brought my other hand up and used both hands to unsnap the top button on his jeans. At that point, Mike stop touching me and rose up on his knees looking down at what my hands were doing to him.

I grabbed the tag of his zipper and slowly lowered it. I was surprised to see that Mike was going commando because as his zipper parted the naked, throbbing, wet head of his cock poked out like it was seeking my hand. I gently wrapped my hand around it, marveling at the softness and the warmth. So much like mine and yet so different. I took my thumb and gently began to spread the glistening drops of pre-come around the head of his cock. He groaned, and I knew somehow that he was very close to coming at that point.

Mike reached down and pushed his jeans until they were below his cock, wrapped around his thighs and under his ass. His cock was standing there in all its glory hard and throbbing. I was drawn to it so strongly that the next thing I knew I was close enough to reach out my tongue and lick across the head of it tasting his cock honey.

"Oh, fuck, Liam!" He groaned.

I continued to gently lick his cock, leaving the head and working my tongue down his shaft. The lower I went, the stronger the scent of his maleness filled my nose and drove me into a frenzy. I licked all over his ball sack and then licked back up the shaft of his cock tasting his dripping cock honey the whole way until I reached the head once again. Not really knowing what I was doing I opened my mouth and slowly began taking the head of his cock inside my mouth while working my tongue around it the entire time. The taste of him, his flesh, his pre-come were intoxicating to me. I love the taste of his cock and I felt like I wanted it in my mouth forever.

"Fuck, babe. That feels so good!" Mike's hands were gently stroking my head and his fingers were running through my hair as I continued to nurse on the head of his cock.

I felt his hands gently pulling me off of his cock. I looked up in frustration wondering what was wrong.

"I'm getting close and I don't want to come yet. I want us to be naked. I want to be able to touch and taste you, too."

Mike got up off the bed and quickly shed his pants and shoes. Then, beautifully naked, he walked over and locked the door of his room. I quickly shed my jeans, shoes and socks so that I was equally naked. Mike walked back to the bed, his eyes on me the whole way. He still had that look of hunger in his eyes but now I can also see something else. Something deeper, softer. I shivered in anticipation when I realized it wasn't just desire but love.

My climbed back on the bed and lay down beside me. I realized now why we had never slept together in the same bed. With both of us having a set of twin beds in our rooms, we were just too damn big for both of us to fit. Lying there beside each other, the only way we fit was to lay on our sides facing each other. Mike reached down and gently grasp my cock and began to gently slide his hand up and down. At the same time he leaned over and started to lick and suck at my neck. I have to admit, I was somewhat afraid that he would leave hickies and that people would know what we had been doing. But I realized that they would just think that it was some girl who had done it.

Mike moved down to where he was licking across my chest until he reached one of my nips. He then began to lick and suck at it and I practically rose vertically off the bed the feeling was so intense. I had no idea that I was so sensitive there. I don't think Mike did either because he pulled off and looked down at me.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Fuck, no! That felt really, really good! I just had no idea that it would."

"I didn't either."

"I guess there is a lot that we don't know about each other's bodies."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I want to learn. Everything. I want to make you happy."

"That's the same way I feel."

"From what you were doing before, I don't think that's going to be a problem."

Mike dipped his head down once again only this time the farther down. As he continued to gently stroke my cock he was also licking and sucking on my abs. He pulled my cock straight up and I watched as he buried his nose in the pubic area at the base.

"Oh, fuck! You smell so good." His voice was deep and it had a distinct growl in it.

I was shocked. I had no idea that Mike would turn onto my scent the way I did his. I didn't have long to think about this, though. The next thing I knew I felt moist heat surrounding my cock. I looked down and my cock was buried halfway into Mike's mouth. I could feel his tongue licking under my head and all I could do was groan at the overwhelming sensations of pleasure that I felt.

As he continued to suck on my cock, Mike began moving around on the bed so that before I knew it his hard cock was directly in front of my face. That was an invitation, that I could not resist. I reached my hand out, grabbed hold of it and gently pulled towards my mouth. Mike thrust his hips forward to give me more access and soon we were both happily sucking on each other's hard erections.

It was a really bizarre feeling. I was sucking on his cock while he was sucking on mine but it felt like it must feel if you suck your own cock. All I knew, was that this was the best sex, the best feeling, I had ever had in my entire life. More than anything I didn't want it to end but it seemed that my body had other ideas because I could feel my orgasm throbbing deep inside me ready to explode with just the tiniest push in that direction. I was scared, however. I didn't know what Mike was expecting. Was I do shoot my load in his mouth or warn him to pull off in time so that I wouldn't? Then the answer came. All of a sudden my mouth was filled with a thick, sweet, pungent warmth of Mike's come. And the room was filled with a muffled groaning as Mike continued to suck my cock even as he shot his load in my mouth. I guess that answered my question and I could just play "follow the leader". After all, as another old saying went "what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

The thrill of tasting and swallowing Mike's load drove me right over the cliff so that my cock was unloading in his mouth and he was gobbling down my cum with the same eagerness with which I was swallowing his. We each continued to nurse on each other's cocks for a few minutes as we came down from the orgasmic high. Then Mike moved around on the bed once again to where we were face to face. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, planting his mouth on mine in a deeply passionate kiss. A kiss that allowed us to chase the remnants of each other's cum. It was without doubt the most exciting kiss so far. I noted that some of my cum had escaped his mouth and was lying on his chin. I reached out my tongue and slowly licked it off. Mike's mouth came down and met mine begging for this small, wet, warm part of me. I gladly held out my tongue and let him lick it off. He was grinning as he swallowed it.

"Nothing gets wasted. I want all of you." The only time I had seen a look that happy on Mike's face was when he ran the ball into the end zone scoring the winning touchdown himself in the conference championships.

We lay there in each other's arms gathering our breath and gently touching each other. One thing I took advantage of, what with him so close was blissing out on his scent. However, he caught me at it.

"So you get off on the scent of me, too?"

"Ahh... yeah, I guess I do."

"You GUESS you do? You're breathing so fucking hard I thought you were having an asthma attack. Except for one thing. You don't have asthma!"

"OKAY, okay your fucking scent turns me on all to hell! I can't even be close to you without throwing wood! Is that what you want to hear?"

"Yeah, it is. I want to know that I turn you on. I want to know that I turn you on as much as you do me. I want to know that you want me just as much as I want you. But, most of all, I want to know that you love me just as much as I love you."

"You turn me on so bad that I can barely think most of the time. And the only thing I can think about is how much I want you. And when I'm alone in my bed at night, when you're not there I ache down the inside so badly because I love you and I miss not having you near me."

"We are going to do something about that. We're going to put an end to having to spend nights apart. We're going to be together all the time. Any time that we want to be."

"That's not possible. Our parents would have a total shit fit!"

"No they're not. My dad and your dad have worked it out."

"Are you out of your fucking mind? What do you mean our dads worked it out?"

"My dad came and had a talk with me a few days ago. He knew something was wrong with me but he thought it was girl trouble'. I decided it was time to tell him the truth. That it had nothing to do with girls but with a boy, with you. I told him how I felt about you. He asked me if I was sure. I told them I couldn't eat, sleep, study, nothing for thinking about you. I guess that convinced him. He told me that if I was that much in love with you and you felt the same way, then nobody has the right to stand in the way of our being together. I told him about my plan to get the medallion for you and have been engraved so that I could finally find out if you did love me the way I loved you."

"But you said that my dad was in on this. That's just not possible!"

"Yeah, it is. My dad had a long talk with your dad about us. Dad told me that your dad freaked out at first but then he calmed down and it was him who came up with how we could be together."

"No way!"

"Way!"

"How?"

"Well you know that both our dads are on the alumni Board at Boston University. Without us knowing it, they'd already arranged to get us football scholarships. Now they've decided that rather than live in the dorms, they're going to rent us an apartment all our own. It's close to campus and everything. We'll have a place that is ours and we can live together without anybody saying shit about it."

"I can't believe this! My dad isn't freaking because I'm in love with another guy?"

"I asked my dad why he wasn't freaking. And he told me this story. It seems that when he and you're dad roomed together at BU there were two guys in the dorm room next door. Both of these guys were real geniuses and the way my dad tells it, if it hadn't been for them and the help they gave our dads, neither of our dads would have made it through their freshman year. Eventually, it came out that these two guys were more than just roommates. They were lovers. Our dads freaked out at first but eventually came to realize that it didn't matter who the two guys were fucking, they had been good friends to our dads. That was all that counted to them. From what they told me the two guys are still together and our dads still have contact with them. That wasn't the only thing though..."

"What else was there?"

"My dad told me that there is really only one thing that a parent wants and that's for their kids to be happy. He asked me, if you made me happy."

"And what did you tell him?"

"The truth."

"And that is?"

"Shit! Do I got to say it?"

"Yeah. You've got to say it. I need to hear it. Just once."

"I told him that you make me happier than I've ever been in my whole entire life."

"Well, that would be my answer."

"Do you mean that?"

I leaned over and gently stroked his cheek with my fingers. "More than I've ever meant anything."

"So I take it that we've got a chance to really make this thing work?"

"I'd say a really good chance."

"I was hoping you'd say that. I know they were both young and guys our age are supposed to be running around sowing their wild oats' but I guess I don't have any because the only person I want in the whole world is you."

"That's no trouble. I don't have any oats' either. You've been a part of my life almost from the beginning. There has never been anyone else that I loved."

"Can we go back to having fun. I'm still horny for you and from the looks of things you are too."

"Yeah, I am. But there's one thing I have to ask you. Everything's set up for the fall but that's almost a year away. I can't stand the idea of not sleeping in the same bed with you anymore."

"I feel the same way that's why I got our dads to agree that from now on we alternate nights, sleeping one night here and one night at your place, until we leave for Boston U. well that satisfy you?"

I leaned in and gently kissed his lips.

"That will satisfy me very well. On one more condition. I want you to make love to me."

"You mean...?"

"Yes, I want to feel you inside of me. I want to know what it feels like to really be a part of you."

"But I don't want to hurt you."

"We can take it slow. Believe me, I'm not into paying either. But I figure if girls can take it from their boyfriends, I should be able to."

"Trust me, you know I wouldn't hurt you for the world."

"Yes, I know that."

"And there is something that I think can help get you ready. I saw it in a film once and all I could think about was doing it to you."

"What is it?"

"No. It's a surprise. You just roll over and get on your stomach."

Of course because the bed was so narrow,Mike had to get out so that I could turn over.

"I think if we're going to keep sleeping together we are somehow going to have to get bigger beds."

"Don't worry. I can fix that. Get up out of the bed and you can help me."

Mike explained that we were going to push the beds together to make one big bed. The hardest part of this was moving the bedside table with the lamp and the clock radio on it. But we quickly accomplish this and we now had a bed twice as big to play on.

"Now lay back down on your stomach and just relax."

I did as Mike told me, straddling the crack between the two beds with my legs spread. I lay there wondering what Mike was up to, what the surprise he had for me was. But I didn't have long to wait, because the next thing I knew Mike was crawling up the bed and laid himself down on top of me. It was an amazing feeling to feel his entire naked body laying on top of me. I could feel his hard cock resting between the cheeks of my butt with his mouth licking, sucking, and nibbling at the back of my neck and shoulders. I moaned as flashes of ecstasy shot through my body.

Mike started to move down my body continuing to use his mouth as he went. I felt his tongue and teeth at the skin of my back. He was heading down towards my ass. I figured that he would stop before he got there. But I couldn't have been more wrong.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt Mike's tongue began to slowly, sensuously lick across my left butt cheek. It sent such thrills through me that I could feel my skin rise in goosebumps. He continued to lick both cheeks of my ass while at the same time his hands were gently stroking up and down my back. I didn't know where he was going to go with this, I was more than happy to just lie there and allow the intensely sexual feelings to flow through my body.

As he continued to lick my ass cheeks, Mike's tongue was moving closer and closer to the crack between them. Suddenly, I felt his hands move from my back to my butt and spread the cheeks open. I felt a Mike's warm breath against my hole just before I felt something wet and raspy sliding up my crack and across my hole. The feeling was so incredible, I rose up on my hands and looked back over my shoulder to see what exactly was going on. What I saw, I had trouble believing. There was Mike with his face buried between the cheeks of my butt and I could feel what was obviously his tongue moving up and down, licking my ass hole.

"Mike? What the fuck are you doing?"

Mike looked up, his face flushed, his mouth open and a look in his eyes of pure, unadulterated lust.

"Feels good, huh?"

"Well... yeah. It feels incredible. But are you sure you want to do that?"

"Fuck, yeah! This is what I saw in the porn flick that turned me on so much! I really wanted to do it to you!"

"Well... okay, if you really want to. It really does feel good."

"That's all I want, babe. To make you feel good."

I laid back down but my mind was swimming. There were the incredible feelings that were going through me from Mike's tongue sliding against my hole as well as that Babe' Mike called me. No one, except for my mother who had this annoying habit of calling me sweetie', had ever called me anything other than my name. It only took a second for me to realize that I really liked it when Mike had done that. It took a bit longer for me to understand why I liked it. What I liked about it was the fact that it showed how intense Mike's feelings were for me. Added to what he had been doing (and was still doing) at the time along with that look of desire in his eyes told me all I needed to know about whether Mike really loved and wanted me as much as I did him. Guys can lie with their mouthes, some of them very easily, but they can't lie with their eyes. That whole mirrors of the soul' thing is dead on. The old Realettes hit from the 60s is wrong. Whether he really loves you or not is not "In His Kiss", it's in his eyes when he looks at you.

As Mike continued to link against my hole, I could feel myself relaxing. Mike evidently noticed that too because I felt his tongue like a small speer or, I guess in this case, a small cock began to push firmly but gently inside of me. Trust me, I never thought in my entire life that I would feel something trying to get IN there. But what I didn't realize, was how good it felt. Yeah, you heard that right. It felt good. In fact, better than good. The farther his tongue pressed inside me, the farther I wanted it to go. I felt my hips pushing my ass back against his face just to get a few more millimeters of his tongue inside me. I've heard it said that guys are real horn dogs and that's true. But what I didn't realize was we turn into real sluts too. I found myself wiggling my ass against Mike's face, practically begging him to fuck meI wanted to feel his cock in me so bad. Now that I knew from his tongue what it felt like to have him inside me, I desperately wanted to take this all the way to the next logical step. Thank God Mike had more control than I did!

I felt movement behind me and then the chill draft of air hitting my wet hole. Mike got off to bed and went over to the night table opening the drawer and pulling out a bottle of Astroglide . This was the lubricant that we had both decided years before was the best one for jacking off. Little did I know then how great it would be for fucking but, evidently, I was about to find out.

Mike climbed back on the bed between my legs and, as I watched, he popped open the top of the bottle and squeezed some onto his fingers which he then applied to my butt.

"Shit! That's cold!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry. It should warm up in a second though."

He was right. As his fingers massaged the lubricant into my hole, the initial chill quickly wore off and the feelings of his warm fingers massaging me overwhelmed all other feelings. Mike slowly began to insert his long thick finger inside me. Even though he took it is slowly and as gently as he could, there was still some initial pain as his finger spread the tissues of my ass open. Having seen (as well as tasted) his cock, I knew how thick it was in comparison to his finger and began to have some doubts about my ability to accept him inside my body. However, as he began to gently move the finger in and out of me, the intensely erotic feelings made me begin to want more.

"Oh God! That's really starting to feel good." I said, looking back at him over my shoulder.

"It's supposed to. I have to tell you, I'm somewhat surprised at how easily you've opened up. You must play with your butt when you jack off."

"No! I've never even thought of it."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Well, in that case, the only thing I can think is that your butt is just made to get fucked."

I stared back at him with a hard look. "Are you trying to intimate that I'm some kind of a slut?"

"Fuck no! Besides, I don't care if you are slut. Just so long as you're MY slut." He said placatingly.

I smiled at him. "Oh! I'm your slut for sure."

With this he leaned forward over me until his lips could reach mine and he gave me a sweet and gentle kiss. At the same time, his cock dragged through my butt crack and across my hole. We both groaned at the feeling.

"Please get back to what you were doing. I really, really want you in me."

"Not nearly as much as I want to be in you!"

Mike went back to work getting me ready. He slowly inserted two and then three of his long thick fingers. By the time he had three fingers sliding easily in and out of my butt, I was sure that I could take him with very little trouble.

Finally, he looked at me. "Are you ready?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."

"How do you want to be?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean do you want to be on your back, on your stomach, what?"

"I guess I want to be on my back so I can look at you."

"Good! That's what I want. I want to be able to look in your eyes as I make love to you."

"Don't you mean, as you fuck me'?"

"No. While I make love to you. That's what this is all about. If it was just about sex, what we did before would be enough. There's just something inside of me that desperately wants to be inside of you. To plant my seed in you, and make you mine alone. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I can. It's the reason I want you inside of me. I want you to mark me as yours."

"Yeah. I'm just glad neither one of us has ever had sex before so we don't have to worry about condoms and shit."

"No problems on that score. I never wanted to have sex with anybody but you."

"So what were you going to do if I wasn't into it?"

"I couldn't even let myself think about that. I guess I would've waited to find somebody else that I could fall in love with. I just didn't think that there was anybody like that out there."

"I felt the same way. I was so scared that you would hate me for loving you, hate me for wanting you."

At that point I rolled over on my back and pulling my legs back, looked up at him.

"I think it's time for your body to make good on promises your mouth has been making."

"Oh, yeah! I can do that!"

"Just take it easy. Remember I've never done anything like this before."

"I remember. You just remember that the last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you."

Mike liberally applied more lube to my ass and then to his cock. He got between my legs and began sliding his cock up and down against my hole. As I felt the pressure of his hard cock against the lips of my ass I could feel my hole relaxing and yearning for his entry. Finally, he pulled his hips away, took hold of his cock and pointed it at my opening. His hips move forward and I could feel the spongy head of his cock pressing against my hole seeking entry. At first, my ass resisted but slowly and surely the head of his cock began to press inside me until my ass opening let go and Mike slid partway inside.

"Oh, fuck! Stop! Let me get used to it." I corrupt as I could feel my ass muscles lock down around his cock and the most ungodly pain I ever experienced went through me. After a few minutes, I could feel my muscles slowly relaxing and the pain going away as they relaxed. I don't know why I did it but I started pushing out with my ass muscles which made them relax even more and Mike's cock slid several inches further inside me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. It just hurt right at the start. It's starting to feel good now. Let me push out again and you push farther in."

Mike did as I told him. As I pushed out with my ass muscles, he slid more of his cock inside of me.

"That's it. That's all of it, babe."

"You're all the way inside me?"

"Oh, there might be like a quarter of an inch left but trust me, this is just fine. You are so hot and tight and slick inside that I feel like I could come right now."

"Well, just relax. You haven't even started fucking me yet. I want way more than this before you come."

Mike knelt there between my legs, his cock buried in my ass. I could see from the look on his face that he was fighting coming. I reached my hand up and motioned him to lean down over me. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to where our mouths could reach each other. We were soon lost in a deeply passionate kiss while I could feel Mike's hips begin to move and his cock began fucking in and out of my ass. It was the most incredible feeling I've ever had in my life a feeling that I knew I would crave more and more from him.

Mike finally broke the kiss. "Oh, fuck! You feel so fucking good. If I had known how good this felt, I wouldn't have waited so long to tell you how much I loved you."

"God! Your cock feels so good. Fuck me, Mike! Fuck me harder!"

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about it. The harder you fuck me the better it feels. Let go! Really fuck me hard!"

It's really too bad in some ways that Mike wasn't interested in a career in the military because he certainly could follow orders well. His hips moved so fast and so hard I thought he was going to drive me straight through the mattress. But instead, the good feelings just kept building and building until something began to happen that I had no expectation of. I had expected Mike to get off. In fact, I expected Mike to get off really well. After all, this was the first time he had ever fucked somebody. But what I didn't expect was that all of a sudden I could feel my nuts tighten up and twinges in my groin that told me that I was going to come as well. And I hadn't even touched my cock!

"FUCK! MIKE! I'M GOING TO COME!"

"Come, babe! Come for me! I'm right behind you!" Mike growled.

I was lost at that point in the oblivion of orgasm. I could hear my voice screaming Mike's name and I could hear him growling out mine but beyond that there was only feeling. The massive rush of come from my cock and the feeling of Mike's cock throbbing in my ass as he unloaded inside of me. I didn't realize it at the time but there were tears of joy pouring out of my eyes and down the sides of my face because I knew that now I well and truly belonged to him and he belonged to me.

After he stopped coming, Mike collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as he regained his breath. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and kissed the side of his head as it rested on my shoulder. I thought I had loved him before but now, I realized that I loved him so much more than I ever had in the past. What had happened between us in his bed was something so beautiful, so tender, so sacred that nothing or no one could ever undo it. I guess that's what all that should stuff in the marriage ceremony is talking about. Mike and I may never get married, at least not legally, but in my heart I was is married to him as if the ceremony had been performed on the steps of the Capitol in Washington by the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

"Am I too heavy on you?" Mike murmured against my shoulder.

"No. No. You're fine. I like feeling you like this. It makes me feel safe, protected, and loved."

Mike turned his head slightly and kissed me. The kiss was gentle and tender. We had, for the moment, exhausted our passion but fortunately, the love was still there. Another proof that this wasn't just sex for us. It was something far more meaningful.

Mike's one arm, that was across my chest squeezed and pulled me closer.

"Well, you belong to me now and that's how I want to make you feel always."

"Why didn't we ever talk to each other like this before?"

"We're guys! Guys don't talk about their feelings. Especially not feelings like we have for each other. It makes you to vulnerable. You can get really hurt. But I can't tell you how good it feels to be able to talk like this now. Practically all my life, I've been able to tell you anything except how I felt about you. You know I've loved you since we were little kids?"

"No. I've loved you that long. Did you know that?"

"Yeah. I kind of did. At least I felt loved by you."

"You were my best friend, practically my brother. How else could I feel about you?"

"Yeah, but everything changes as you get older and you start to realize what love is really all about."

"You mean when your dick gets involved in it?"

"Yeah. That too." Mike chuckled. "When you start wanting to suck your best friend's cock or fuck his ass, that really changes things."

"Well, now that that's all happened I'd say the changes were for the better."

"Oh, fuck yeah! I feel like I can tell you anything now. All the stuff that's deep inside me

all my hopes and dreams and all my feelings."

"In other words, everything you always told me as your best friend."

"You're still my best friend but now you're my lover as well and that's taking things too away higher level of honesty and openness between us."

"You've done a lot of thinking about this."

"I'd hardly thought about anything else. It's just that I've been so scared that you wouldn't feel the same way."

"I somehow feel like I never had any other choice but to love you. To not love you is almost like not loving a part of myself. We've been in each other's lives, we've BEEN each other's lives for so long that it's hard to tell sometimes where one of the stops and the other one starts. I guess that's why I wanted you to fuck me so badly. I wanted to know what it felt like to be physically a part of you."

"And was is it what you thought it would be?"

"No. It wasn't. It was all to hell and gone greater than I ever imagined. I guess because I'd never experienced it I really had no way of knowing what to expect."

"Do you want to fuck me?"

"Not right now. I'm very happy with what we've done so far. Why do you want me to fuck you?"

"Because I just fucked you. What kind of her rat would I be if I asked you to let me fuck you but then I didn't let you fuck me."

"Is that all we just did? We just fucked?"

"Fuck no! I made love to you the best I knew how."

"And I did the same. Love isn't about keeping score how many times we fucked each other. Love happens when it's supposed to. When the time is right and we both really want it I'll be more than happy to fuck you but for right now lying here in your arms feeling that touch of your skin against mine, smelling your scent surrounding me is more than enough. If you're still horny, I'll be glad to get you off."

"No. It's not that. I am so getting off on you finally being in my arms and knowing that you don't have to leave, that this is where you'll sleep where I can hold you and protect you because you are the most precious thing in my life."

"As you are in mine."

Having said this, I reached up and pulled Mike space down until our lips were once again emeshed in a deeply passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss, Mike asked me gently if I was ready to get some sleep. I could tell he was as eager as I was to experience what it was like to sleep in each other's arms for the first time. My answer was in the affirmative so Mike reached over me and turned off the lamp on the bedside table.

As we lay there together it was difficult for me to just let go and experience what was happening the feeling of Mike's arms around me, his gentle breathing, the warmth of his naked body nestled close to mine, this scent of his slightly sweaty body caused by his exertion during our lovemaking. Difficult because, my mind was, as is its want, churning with all the thousand and one things that could go wrong between Mike and me. There were times I really hated my brain and its tendency to turn me into the world's greatest pessimist.

There were so many things in society that were designed specifically to destroy relationships like ours. We had, at least, thanks to Mike, overcome one of the greatest ones, that being our families. But Mike had only heard from our fathers, not our mothers. How would they react to having to gay sons who were in love with each other? Mike and I had not discussed the possibility of adopting children. One thing I knew was going to bother my mother was that she would see in our relationship the death of her dreams to have grandchildren one day to spoil and love as is the grandmother's prerogative. I also thought about how our relationship would be dealt with in the business world that we would eventually have to deal with.

There is one wonderful thing about sex. Especially if you're male. It involves intense physical activity. The effort of it tires you out and all but forces you to sleep. No matter how my mind was racing, my body put a stop to it very quickly sending me to sleep with my head nestled in the crook of Mike's shoulder.

I awoke many hours later still curled up to Mike my head now resting on his hard, muscular chest. It was Christmas morning but I had no need to rush downstairs and check under the tree for what Santa had brought me. Indeed, the night before, I had received the two greatest Christmas presents that I would ever get in my life. The clear, physical proof that Mike loved me along with the deal he had worked out with our fathers which guaranteed that we would be able to wake up like this, in each other's arms and in each other's beds. All of the worries I had vanished into the ether as I lay there looking at my incredibly beautiful lover as he slept. In his relaxed state I could so clearly see the little boy that I had first fallen in love with so many years ago. Mike at rest, was not a vision in stasis. You could see in his strong features and the mountains of muscles his potential for strength. Of course, this strong musculature also showed a potential for great violence. But Michael was not like that. The only time that I had seen him use his strength against someone was to stop that person from bullying a much younger and much weaker person than themselves. That had been back in middle school and I never forgot the incident. It proved to me that Mike was the knight in shining armor' that I always believed him to be.

It has always been my dream to spend my life coupled with his gentleness and power. To spend my life being what I had always been, Mike's best friend and constant companion. That was the greatest gift I had received but I suddenly realized that the gift was a double edged sword. It cut both ways. Yes, I now had Mike body and soul and heart. But no matter how intense the relationship is at the beginning, relationships can be lost. They can grow stale and boring. They can make the people in them mean and spiteful. Haven't enough celebrity marriages played out before cameras just that way? Before, I had nothing. Now, I had something wonderful and precious to lose if I was not careful. I knew that I needed help with this and I knew exactly who I needed to talk to if only she would.

I slowly and carefully exited the bed, making sure I didn't disturb the sleeping Mike. I saw him turn over and grabbed the pillow I had been sleeping on. He wrapped his arms around it and buried his face in it no doubt inhaling my scent. I thought that would keep him involved and happy for the while I would spend searching out the person I most needed to talk to my mother.

I know in Mike's family, that Mike had always been closer to his father. I could understand why, they are so much alike. Looking at Mike's father is like seeing Mike twenty some years older. But I had always been closest to my mother. I was afraid of my father, a fear of the reaction that he would have once he found out about me and how I felt about Mike. From our conversation last night I guess I would need to completely reevaluate those beliefs and feelings and I would, just not right now.

I got dressed quietly and just as quietly left Mike's house and headed back to my own. I had glanced at the clock which told me it was 20 past 10 in the morning. Mom, I knew, would be in the kitchen, probably having her second cup of coffee before she began to tackle the monster that is the Christmas dinner she had planned for all of us including Mike and his parents. I had wondered at this when I had learned of Mike's families inclusion in our families Christmas dinner. This had never happened before, my father being adamant that Christmas was for family and family only. Now I had a pretty good idea of why that all changed this year.

I walked into the kitchen and mother were sitting at the kitchen table wearing a bright red robe and drinking a cup of coffee. The robe which had satin lapels and cuffs looked brand-new so I figured it was a Christmas present, probably from dad.

"Sweetie, what are you doing here so early?"

I brushed some of the newly fallen snow from my jacketshrugged out of it and hung it on the back of the chair and I sat directly opposite her so that I could look her in the face as we spoke.

"I came to wish you a Merry Christmas and because I need to talk with you. I need your help with something, something so important you could classify it under life-and-death situations."

"What on earth could be so important, especially on Christmas morning?"

"I figure by now you're at least aware of what's going on between Mike and me."

"Yes. I've been aware of it for quite a while now."

"You have? How?"

"Darling, it is very easy to tell when two people are in love. The way that they look at each other. The way they interact with each other. The small, gentle, loving touches that pass between them. There are many subtle and not so subtle hints that happened between them. It was also quite obvious that the two of you had not discussed with each other how you felt. That was the hardest part. To watch you in such misery and not be able to do anything about it. Your father and I really ached over that. We wanted so much to bring the whole subject up and clear the air about it once and for all. Your father, however, was totally opposed to us doing that. He felt that it was something that the two of you had to work out for yourselves and, from the look on your face, it appears you have done exactly that."

"Yes, we did. Last night to be exact. But that's why I want to talk to you. You and dad have a really good relationship. It's very obvious that you to love each other, even after all these years. Mom, I really love Mike. I love him with all my heart and soul. And you have no idea how good it feels to finally say that out loud. I never thought I'd be able to."

"Yes, sweetie, it's a very different world than the one your dad and I grew up in. I don't know if your father's parents would've been able to handle a situation like this. Nor my parents, for that matter. It's going to be very interesting to see how they do dealing with it."

"I think Mike and I can handle the reactions of people in the family but that's not what I want to ask you about. What I want to know is how you do it? How you keep dad in love with you? I don't want to lose Mike. The divorce rate for heterosexuals is astronomical. The rate of breakups in gay relationships is far worse. I don't want it happening to Mike and me. I want us to stay together. I want our relationship to last. So, tell me what I need to do to make that happen."

"Well, there is one thing that has helped keep your dad and I together but it's something that you can't do."

"What is it?"

"Children. Having the responsibility for children is something that keeps couples together. If you truly love your children, you find ways to keep the relationship alive because you know that your relationship is your child's emotional stability."

"Mom, I know you were hoping for grandchildren from me and, what you are not thinking of is that Mike and I can have children. As you said, things have changed. Gay couples all over the country are adopting children. Mike and I haven't discussed it yet but I really would like to do that. I think Mike would make a great father and I want him to have the opportunity to be one."

"No, I didn't think of that. But I would urge the both of you to think about it very seriously. It is an awful lot of responsibility raising children but trust me, it is one of the most rewarding thing that you will ever do in your life. I think, too, that Mike would make a great father but I also think that you would as well."

"Thank you. I think Mike and I would make great parents. I truly believe that what a child needs is love. And I don't think it matters where that love comes from. It can come from a mother or a father or even two fathers. Just so long as it's there a child's world is complete."

"Can I ask how you came to this conclusion?"

"It was easy. I just looked at the way you and dad raised me. I never wondered for even a second if you loved me. I always knew."

"Then you already have your answer on how to keep your relationship together. Never let Mike wonder for even a second how you feel about him. You're going to have to do something that, in my experience, males find very difficult. You're going to have to open your mouths and talk to each other. You're going to have to talk about how you feel about each other. You're going to have to share all those feelings you keep trying to lock away inside you."

"That's it? That's all there is to it?"

"Yes, that's it. Sounds really simple doesn't it?"

"Yes it does."

"Don't be fooled, Liam. Just because something is simple doesn't make it easy. Let me ask you a question. Why did you take so long to tell Mike how you felt about him?"

"Because what I felt for him, one guy isn't supposed to feel that way about another guy."

"I read somewhere that women communicate feelings and men communicate information. Okay, you've given me the information. Now tell me about your feelings."

"I was scared. More scared than I ever been in my entire life."

"What was it you were afraid of?"

"That I would lose him completely. That he would want nothing to do with me ever again."

"Why were you afraid of losing him? You could always have found another friend."

"No, I couldn't! Whoever I found, if I ever found someone, wouldn't be Mike."

"You wanted something specifically from Mike. What was it?"

"I wanted him to love me just as much as I love him."

"In other words, you wanted Mike to tell you, to communicate to you his feelings of love for you. You wanted to hear the words. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. Mike, I'm sure, needed to hear that from you. Now before you get the wrong idea, it doesn't always have to be words. Actions are capable of communicating feelings as well. Without prying and, believe me I'm not asking for any details, I have to believe that the two of you showed each other last night by actions just how deep the love you have for each other is."

I blushed at this. I know I did because I could feel the heat rising from my chest to my neck and finally to my face.

"Yes, we certainly did that. That's probably the happiness you were seeing on my face."

"No. What I saw on your face was your incredible happiness at finally knowing that not only did you love Mike but that he loved you as well."

"Yes. I think you are right. But that brings up another question. The feelings seem to get all mixed up. Some of it is emotional, but some of it is very intensely physical."

"That, my son, is exactly the way that it should be. This kind of love, the most intense you will ever know, this love that makes people commit themselves to each other has very strong elements within it. Elements that make you not only love each other but to join physically with each other in what can be the most beautiful experience you will ever have in life. It is one of the ways that you know who is the right mate for you."

"Not that I ever doubted it, but I promise you, Mike is the right mate for me."

"Then I would say that you have the answer to your questions and that where you belong is back in his arms. I'll see the both of you later at dinner. One thing enjoy this time. Enjoy each other. The memories you are making will help to get you through the dark times. And, like it or not, all relationships have them.

I got up, slipped my jacket back on, then I went around the table, hugged my mom and kissed her on the cheek.I then left, and hurried back to Mike's house to what had become our' bed where I found Mike still asleep and clutching my pillow just as I had left him. I undressed quickly and, naked, slid back into bed gently resting my head on Mike's chest. Even though I tried not to, my movements woke him.

"Where have you been? Did you sneak downstairs to see if Santa Claus left you anything?"

"No. Everything I ever wanted is right here in this bed."

"Then where did you go? Your cheeks are cold. It feels like you've been outside."

"I have. I needed to talk to my mom about something."

"That sounds mysterious. What did you need to talk to her about?"

"Nothing mysterious about it. I was laying here watching you sleep and I suddenly got scared that I would do something stupid and lose you. I went to ask mom the secret of how she and dad stayed together all these years and are still in love."

"So? Did she tell you the secret?"

"Yes, she did."

"So what's the secret?"

"I love you."

"That's not exactly a secret."

"No, that's not the secret. The secret is telling you. Mom says that in order to stay together we have to communicate to each other how we feel. We have to tell each other either by words or actions how we feel about each other. She says that as long as we both know that we love each other we won't break apart."

"Well, you do know I love you."

"Yes, I do know that. But I also know something else. You want me. Physically. Just as much as I want you. She says that's all part of it. That the loving and the wanting are equally as important."

"Your mom's a really smart lady."

"That's why wanted to talk to her. I've been so scared for so long about things working out between us. Now that they have, I wanted to know how to keep them this way. I don't want to ever lose you. I want us to go on loving each other for the rest of our lives."

Mike wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. His mouth sought mine and he kissed me deeply and passionately.

"That's exactly what I want. You've always been there for me and I don't want that to ever change. I don't know what it is, I don't know how you do it, but you always make me feel like I'm so much better than I think I am. I feel like in some way I'm like your hero. Does that make any sense?"

"It makes incredible sense. You are my hero. I see so much greatness in you. You are the best man that I have ever known or ever hope to know."

Mike looked at me and blushed a deeper red than I had ever seen.

"I don't know if I can live up to all that. But I'm sure as fuck going to try. Just the fact that you love me that much is proof to me that I'm at least partially as good a man as you believe I am."

"Trust me, I've known you practically all your life. I've seen every side of you and I love you more than anyone else on the face of the earth."

"Okay. Have we done enough communicating? This is starting to get uncomfortable for me. Can we move on to some of those ways where I tell you how much I love you physically?"

"Mom said that we should enjoy each other as much as possible. She says the memories that we make together in this bed will help us get through the rough times. And she says that there will be rough times eventually. Oh, she also mentioned one other thing that will help to keep us together."

"What's that?"

"Well, I did tell you that I felt guilty because I knew that mom really wants grandchildren. What do you think about adopting some for her and for us?"

"Us! As parents? I hadn't really thought about it except I've always dreamed of having a son. I just never thought of the two of us raising him. But it sounds like a really good idea. I'll tell you what. Let me make love to you and then we can talk about."

"That sounds like a plan."

And so Mike made love to me again and afterwords we did talk about it. And we kept talking about it until a few years later, after we had both graduated from college, the love in our lives was multiplied by Cameron, age seven, and Brian, age five, two brothers who had been removed from their parents due to neglect who were put up for adoption and found a home with Mike and me.

Both of our mothers would spoil them rotten if we let them.

THE END OF SILENT NIGHT

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