Hello everyone! I hope you liked the last chapter. I apologize for the shortness, but I think it sets up this chapter beautifully. More importantly, I apologize for this chapter taking so long to get released. If you read my previous series (Loving A Shadow) you'll definitely remember the characters of the band. I couldn't help but throw them in this one somehow. I just love those guys (and girls). Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in with their comments. I hope you like this installment of "The Silent Cellist".
Chapter Twenty: Date Night
Amanda found herself walking down a very familiar dark hallway. A fool would go so far as to say this corridor stretched on for miles, but Amanda is no fool. She's been in this hallway many times, she knows it's true length is less than few hundred feet. At the other end of this trek awaits a single door, behind which He and Sarah are... engaged in an unpleasant rendezvous--Amanda knew what is truly going on and the thought of it all made her stomach knot-up. Also, in the same fearful unknown of this occasion, she could plainly hear voices coming from within the room at the end of the corridor. The small window in it's door emitted the only light in this dreary place, but it was enough for Amanda to easily see her way. The closer she got to the door, the more her fear tightened around her heart; not only was this the first time she's ever heard voices from behind that door, but she could make out three distinct and familiar voices instead of the usual two she knows await her entry.
Out of the darkness, she peered in to the room just like every other time. There she saw Him berating Sarah as always. And just like always, she was beaten and subdued. Her hands curled against her body in fear of Him striking her face once again. However, that wasn't the part that scared her the most--she was used to seeing this image. It was the third presence that made this nightmare all the more horrible. She saw Brittany trying to defend Sarah from His wrath, but it was as if she isn't there. Amanda could hear her girl screaming at the top of her lungs for Him to shut up and leave her alone, but no one else could; Amanda alone can hear her voice. Brittany even raised her fists to try and strike Him down, but when her arm was about to swing, it froze. It didn't matter how resolute she became to hit this man, her arm and strength betrayed her will. Amanda's own strength abandoned her as her hand found the doorknob. Her grip weakened and she couldn't turn it. She even tried to force it open with her weight, but it wouldn't budge. Just like every other time, she would have to wait for Him to finish Sarah's punishment before she would be allowed to enter. Right on cue, He turned His head towards the door and told Amanda to enter. She looked at Him with anger in her heart and did as she was told.
She stood just inside the door looking between the other three
occupants. Brittany immediately stopped her (non)counter-attack on Him once He spoke Amanda's name. She had an expression on her face that begged 'why are you here too?'. Sarah remained in the chair crying tears of blood. And He just stood there, waiting for Amanda to fully make her entrance.
"Welcome back, Amanda," He greeted with that evil smile of His. His voice was just as pleasant as a friendly neighbor. Amanda closed the door without saying a word. "It's been far too long, my dear."
"The fuck it has!" she hissed back with all the venom she could muster. "I was here just three nights ago. For some reason you have this need. this... urge to call me back to this ghastly place and now you have the audacity to bring Brittany into this!"
"Oh no, my child," He answered with a soothing tone. "Brittany is not here with us. She sleeps soundly in her own bed away from this world that you created for the three of us."
"Bullshit! She's standing right behind you! Are you fucking blind?"
"Amanda, my dear, you are sadly mistaken. This is a world of your creation, to see the things that you wish to hide from the waking world. It's no fault of mine what you see."
"Liar!" Amanda fought back her tears as best she could, but they were still pooling in her eyes. She tried to calm herself as much as she could before continuing. "You're the one who dragged both me and Sarah into this hell and know you are trying to torture Brittany as well. Why do you delight in torturing me? Why do you have to ruin every good thing that happens to me?"
"Amanda, all of this is your doing. You wanted her to read Illitor's
pages. She knows about everything. She saw our home and all of it's glory firsthand. I must say that your representation and the actual thing are quite different, are they not? She doubted everything you wrote in those pages and in her heart that doubt still exists. If you lied about that, what else are you lying about?"
"I never lied about anything. I am not you. I love Brittany and that's all that matters. Everything else is trivial compared to how I feel for her."
A sly grin appeared on His lips after her heard that. "Even her feelings for you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's true that I did hear you say those beautiful three little words. I must admit I was thrown for a loop when they flashed through your head, but I'm not entirely sure if Brittany knows as much as the three of us. If it's true that she is in fact in this room, then she would already know... so whenever you get around to actually telling her she won't be as nearly surprised. But I get the feeling that's not the case."
That sinister smile never fell from His face and that alone would be enough for Amanda to be pissed, but the truth of the matter is He's right. He was right and that made her heart ache even more. "You're right, I haven't told her. But I also don't think that I have to. She knows everything I do is because of her." Amanda looked at Brittany, who had a shocked and sad expression about her being. Looking at her directly in the eye she spoke once again. "I love you, Brittany. Please hear me!"
Amanda woke with a start. She sat up on the couch and began to violently turn her head from side to side, searching for any image on Brittany she could find. Sitting on the end table between the couch and Roger's chair was a framed picture Mrs. Williams took of the two of them at World Cup. Amanda quickly snatched it against her chest. She curled herself into a tight ball and began rocking her body back and forth. With tears running down her cheeks, she mouthed her love for her over and over again.
"Amanda? My darling, what's wrong?" Sarah's voice echoed through her brain.
"...Sarah?..." she whispered as if not believing it was her voice. Amanda picked her head up from her knees and began to look around the room for the source of the voice. With the picture still held against her fast beating heart, she saw Sarah sitting in Roger's chair. She was rocking with the chair, a content little smile on her face. Her arms were settled on the armrests just as lightly as her body sat in the cushion. That smile of hers, though warm and caring, did little to lift Amanda's spirits.
"You look distraught, my love," she said warmly, gazing into Amanda's non-eyes. "What seems to be troubling you?"
"... Sa... Sarah... I..." Amanda stammered over her words, trying not only to find the right one's to say, but to try and realize that her former lover was in fact sitting a mere five feet away. After taking a deep breath, she decided it best to confess her woes. "I had that nightmare again, but this time Brittany was there. She watched Him... rape you... and... and beat you..." Amanda managed to get out between sobs. "...But she was powerless to stop any of it. The worst part of it is that it's all my fault. I let her read Illitor's pages. I took her to that terrible place..." the troubled girl felt the pain of guilt wash out of her eyes. Through the blurriness of her guilt-laced self-pity, she could see Sarah's expression hadn't changed.
"It's not your fault, Amanda," Sarah assured her. "She chose to read your diary. She wanted to go with you to the asylum. Brittany is a very strong and very brave girl. Hey, I love her to death myself. So what exactly are you afraid of?"
"No one should ever have to see those kinds of things." Amanda's statement was more of a declaration than a worried sentiment. "She's a good-hearted person and a great friend. I'm afraid for her. I've lost just as sleep over her than I have with you, my dear. I don't know how to describe the kind of fear I feel whenever something like this happens. It just burns my soul to know that she is forced to experience it."
"You're afraid of losing her too?" Sarah's voice hit Amanda like a freight train. It wasn't what she said, but how she said it. The bluntness, the realization. The truth. That simple question filled her heart with the kind of fear she hasn't felt in a long time.
Amanda, still teary-eyed and shaken, looked at her beloved with a sad continence. "More than I could ever imagine," she said with a trembling voice. "I don't know what I would do without her. After our time in the cemetery and those long nights of just holding each other, I feel as close to her as I did with you. It's all happening so fast that I don't even have time to look back..." she stopped for a moment and smiled,"...and I really don't want to."
Sarah beamed at her wife. She wore the same smile she did on their wedding day. "You have nothing to worry about then, love. She is so infatuated with you that she can't see straight. Any idiot can see that. She may be slow on coming up with those beautiful three little words, but I know that she is feeling them."
Amanda felt her heart lighten. Hearing those words, especially from Sarah, was what she needed at that moment. However, the moment was short lived. As Amanda's smile widened, Sarah's smile slowly began to fade away into a sad frown. It was as if someone, or something, just made her watch her own death again. Her gaze fell to the picture that Amanda still held against her chest. Amanda saw that troubled look on Sarah's face and tilted her head to meet her's, asking "What?"
"Amanda, listen to me very carefully. She will need you more than you will ever know. There are others out there who wish to take her away from you. A ghost from her past will haunt her every step until it's will is done. It doesn't care of the consequences, as long as the two of them are together. Love her like you loved me. Do you understand?" Sarah's cryptic message and troubled tone did nothing to ease Amanda's heart. If anything, she was even more worried.
"Wha... what... what are you talking about?" Amanda asked, but got no response. Sarah stared blankly, frighteningly at the back of the picture frame. Amanda turned the picture to where she could looked down at it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary; just the two of them at the World Cup tournament, cheek-to-cheek. Amanda looked up to say more, but the visage of Sarah had already disappeared. Roger's chair continued to sway despite it's occupant was no longer there. This not only left Amanda even more confused, but now she was fearful of going out tonight. She set the picture back on the end table and began to tell Illitor about what just happened.
Brittany sat on the edge of her bed, just staring at the clock. 3:47 A.M. What a time to be awake, especially with such a big day planned. Not only did she have three tests in her three worst subjects, but tonight was the night that she and Amanda were supposed to have their first date. Well, first real date. Brittany felt the butterflies multiplying in her stomach already. Her nerves were about to snap any minute. Absentmindedly, she kicked her dangling feet in time with the many random thoughts running through her overactive mind. Not only was she nervous as hell about today, but the excitement in her heart and soul was almost too much to endure.
The teenager got up from her bed and began to pace around her room. Her thoughts going from how she felt about Amanda, to her schoolwork, to the concert tonight, then back to how she felt for Amanda. How she truly felt. Ever since last night she's been kicking herself for not just coming out and telling her what she's been keeping back for the last couple months. She's had ample opportunities to just come out and say it, but for some reason she's always held back. And that's what she's been so pissed about, not to mention why she was still awake at this hour. She didn't really know why. She's 'heard' Amanda spill her guts about how much she likes her and how much she wants to be with her. Hell, she could have sworn she saw Amanda lip those three little words to her just a few hours ago, yet her will to say them herself remains stoic. Brittany looked over at the clock once again and she saw that it was now 4:18 A.M. The paintballer cursed herself once again and decided that maybe some snacks will help calm her down, at least enough to get some sleep.
Brittany nearly stomped her way into the dining room. She was careful not to turn on the main light as to not awaken her mother. An explanation at this time of the night will be damn near impossible. Instead she turned on the basement stairwell light, providing just enough illumination to make out the labels. Once she finally found something that would suit her needs (Keebler's Club crackers), she turned off the light and returned to her room.
Once there, and her hand fully submerged in the box, she picked up right where she left off. Her pacing began immediately. Even with her mouth full of the buttery goodness that was her snack, her mind would not slow down. Try as she might nothing worked. "Damn it, I need her here," she muttered out loud. No sooner had those words left her mouth, she heard a voice from behind.
"What is it that ails you, Brittany," the voice said. With her heart damn near stopped by it's sudden intrusion, Brittany spun around to face the source. "Something vexed this morning."
It was then that Brittany recognized who this person was. Sitting in the mushroom chair by her dresser was an image she will not soon forget. That sweet, innocent smile and lovingly warm eyes were all the confirmation she needed, but still... "Sarah?" she said aloud, not truly believing her eyes.
"In the flesh... well, sort of," Sarah's apparition said, laughing at her own joke. Brittany remained somewhat less than amused. "What seems to be troubling you, my dear?"
"...I-I don't... don't know what to say," she stammered, still shocked by what she saw. "You're dead." Her face went pale, but the realization of the comment sent her into a crazed frenzy. "This is fucking great! Now I'm seeing dead people. Before I was going insane just thinking about Amanda. Now her dead girlfriend... excuse me, wife, comes back from the dead to haunt me... I can't fucking sleep so now I'm seeing shit..."
During Brittany's rant, Sarah remained in her chair completely unmoved. It was as if she couldn't hear the star player cussing and ranting, but, more to the point, that was exactly why she was there. After Brittany took a pause and actually gandered at the 'ghostly' visage in her room she decided to see if all of this was real. Cautiously, Brittany stepped towards the image of Sarah. The 'ghost' just continued to smile warmly as her wife's new girlfriend approached. As soon as Brittany's hand touched the warm cheek of the 'ghost', she quickly jerked back cussing herself. "You're really fucking here!"
"Of course I'm here," Sarah said, astonished at Brittany's sudden outburst. "Do you not trust your own eyes? Hell, you just touched my cheek. What else can I do to prove it?"
Brittany didn't answer. Instead she backed away from the dead girl. Brittany's face wore all of the emotions flowing through her; fear, confusion, anger. The black-haired girl soon lost track of her steps and soon found herself falling back onto her bed. She let out a little squeal when her thighs found the edge of the bed-frame, but she never took her eyes from Sarah's. While Brittany was busy trying to prop herself into a more comfortable position, Sarah just laughed at her and the the mess she was in.
"What's so goddamn funny?"
"You, my dear," Sarah said still giggling at Brittany's inability to remain still. "I can see why she loves you."
"Really? Why's that?" Her question was more of a challenge than anything. In spite of the fact that Brittany knew who this person was and that she was in fact in her room, she still couldn't believe what was going on. "Why does who love me?"
Sarah was no fool in life and certainly not in death. She knows that tone of voice anywhere. Not to mention she's been watching Brittany for quite sometime now, she knows just how spunky she can be. With that smile ever present, she set about answering that challenge. "Amanda Sanders loves you so much she can't sleep either. She's been having nightmares for as long as I can remember. My dear, you're the reason why she can't sleep.... And she's the reason why you can't sleep. I know that you have been having nightmares as well. You watched me hang myself on several occasions. You saw what that did to our beloved Amanda. I must say that you are blessed to have such a strong will. Your resolve, and that eagerness to get to the heart of the issue is why she loves you. You, Brittany Abigail Williams, remind her so much of myself."
Brittany felt a chill run up her spine. Her eyes widened at the mention of her full name, a name that not even Amanda knows. Then the mention of the subject matter of her nightmares was the final nail in the coffin. Brittany's heart sank, especially knowing that Amanda is also losing sleep over their relationship. The teenager was too agape to say anything in response to Sarah's answer to her challenge. "Is it true what He says, have you not told her how you truly feel?"
Silence. Brittany felt her skin crawl with every word this woman now spoke. Her mouth had no words, but her brain was screaming for release. After a minute of just gawking at her, Brittany finally managed to shake her head to the tune of 'no'. Sarah rose to her feet and began to pace about the room. She looked at the posters on the walls; the pictures and trophies on her desk and dresser; the gearbag that was haphazardly thrown into the closet; then finally back to the pale teen herself. Brittany was still trying to make sense of it all, but failed to come up with any explanation. Sarah, ever so lightly, walked over to the plethora of pictures and picked up the one that Amanda was holding not two hours ago. Running her fingers across the photo, Sarah put on a nostalgic smile. "What's with the picture?" Brittany asked, breaking the moment of silence.
"Amanda was holding this photo against her chest when I came to her. She was crying and saying vows of love about you." Sarah looked over at Amanda's girlfriend with the same warm smile she came here with. "She loves you like you will never believe. " With that, a single tear ran down her cheek.
"She really does love me, huh?" Brittany asked, more to herself than Sarah. This brought about an entirely different train of thoughts to her mind. If Amanda was willing to let go of Sarah, her wife and best friend, then what was her problem with letting Amanda know how she feels?
"Oh yes, Brittany. Why haven't you told her yet?"
That question went right into the pit of her soul. She just thought that same thing without coming up with an answer, and now she was just asked by the very person who was cast aside for her sake. Brittany felt a tear escape her eye as she answered with her realization. "I don't know. I guess I don't have the guts to just come out and say it. The last time I told someone that, she turned and spat it back in my face. Twice. Maybe I just don't want to get hurt like that again."
"You didn't seem all that hurt to me," Sarah said with a giggle.
"I may have been relieved and happy that it was over, but that was because it was over. Before that though my heart was torn to pieces. To have something that you worked for your whole life just crumpled up and thrown away just tears you apart. You of all people should know what I mean."
"Yes, I do, Brittany. I'm reminded of that daily. I know exactly what that feels like. All I can do know is my part and see to it that the woman I love, that we love, is taken care of. Why else would I have appeared in that window that day?"
That statement shook the teenager to her core. She quickly looked at the dead woman, confusion and hurt spilled all over her face. "WHAT?!"
"That was the first day that you realized that you were feeling uneasy about who you are and why you were there, was it not? You saw something in yourself that you neither liked or recognized. And when you came to the bookstore that feeling completely disappeared, if only for a short while. That's why Amanda spent those days wandering around your neighborhood. And that night under the tree, you seemed to not be bothered by anything and just let yourself open up. She particularly liked that part about you. In fact she thanked me for it when she got got back to that place she called a home." Sarah paused a moment as she looked deeply at the girl in question, or more particularly, her eyes. Sarah was soon comforted by the thought Brittany's face projected. "From the look on your face I can tell you don't want to believe me, in yet you do."
Brittany was once again silenced. Knowing that their meeting was no coincidence was definitely a hard pill to swallow, especially when she considered the timing of everything. She both loved and hated her for it. Brittany didn't know whether to punch her in the face, or kiss her so passionately that Amanda would feel it too. Instead, she chose door number three: a silent stupor. She fell over onto her pillow with her eyes still trained on the 'ghost'. She came over to her and tucked her into bed. With the comforter pulled up to Brittany's chin, the dead one started stroking her hair.
Sarah smiled warmly at the troubled teen. "It's O.K. Brittany. I wasn't expecting you to be able to answer that. I'm not here to force you into anything uncomfortable. I know you love her. She knows you love her. All that's left is for you to say so. I think that will go a long way in giving her peace from Him. He will not rest until Amanda is free from that terrible place." Brittany's eyes doubled in size at the 'Him' mention. Suddenly, a wash of dire concern came over her. Sarah noticed this, then continued. "You know of whom I speak. All that's left is for your true feelings for her be known, lest the three of us will be forced to endure much more suffering at His account. But don't let your heart be troubled by such things. Amanda loves you dearly, Brittany. Rest easy now. You've got a big day today." Sarah leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the teenager's forehead.
The next thing Brittany knew she was sitting up in her bed. She had sweat running down her face and her heart was racing. She put her hand to her forehead, feeling the warmth of Sarah's parting kiss still evident. Frantically, she looked around her room to find any indication of what the hell just happened. She glanced at her clock and saw it was only 4:20 A.M. Brittany knew something was not right. Sarah's entire visit was much longer than two minutes. 'I couldn't have dreamed the whole thing?' The last thing she remembered was Sarah stroking her hair and whispering sweet words of Amanda's love. Then her parting kiss. That was very much a part of the experience and so was her entire conversation, then when she got up and actually touched her, that was real. Sarah had a real warmth to her cheek. Brittany's confusion was made worse when she saw a few things out of place.
On her dresser, the picture that her mom took of her and Amanda at World Cup had been moved; it was now sitting next to her alarm clock facing her as if trying to send her some kind of message. Going back through the memory, Brittany looked over to her mushroom chair. Her face went pale from the sight. It's cushion had an indentation as if someone had been sitting in it for quite sometime. As her gaze shifted to the floor, her eyes happened upon the box of Club crackers that she brought back to her room to help her sleep. "This is seriously fucked up," she said aloud to herself. Plopping her head back onto her pillow, Brittany returned to her dreams. Dark dreams of a room at the end of a long hallway.
Brittany arrived home from practice much more tired than usual. All day she had to force herself to stay awake. Not only was she utterly exhausted from her very late night, but she one more obstacle to deal with. Kayla. The bitch came back to school today and it seemed Brittany was the first on her 'to-do' list. If she wasn't fighting off her brain entering sleep mode, she was fighting off her ex's advances and that would have been enough trouble on a good day. Then there was practice. Another thing that is best reserved for anyone's good days, especially since today was nothing but mind-numbing drills and P.T. To put it simply, she was happy to be home.
The first thing she did was jump in the shower. 'Damn that feels good,' she mused as the hot water cascaded down her shoulders. The pulsating jet-streams hitting her in the back did wonders in relaxing her aching muscles. As good as this shower felt, what it couldn't relax was her anxiety. The steam was rising and so was her nerves. Not only was Brittany feeling anxious and nervous about her date (in about an hour) but the late night "visit" from Sarah completely left her flabbergasted... and completely exhausted.
The star player decided to dress in something a bit appropriate for the weather. Being somewhat of a warm evening, a pleated skirt and light colored tee shirt seemed to do the trick. A little mascara and touch up work on her lips and foundation and she was ready.
"Alright mom, I'll be back by twelve," Brittany said after she reached the living room.
"Roger's here already?" the older woman replied, glancing to her watch. "I thought you still had about another forty-five minutes."
"No mom, Roger's not picking me up," the younger Williams answered, looking away from her mother's gaze.
"The Nissan execs set it up
so that a limo will pick up me and Amanda. Roger's just seeing us off."
"And you didn't bother to tell me this because?" Mrs. Williams eyebrow cocked slightly.
"I don't know." It was obvious to her mother that Brittany's nerves were shot and the way she answered that justified her suspicions. Her hands were fidgety and her voice was trembling.
"Relax, honey," her mother said in a reassuring voice. "I am a little upset that you didn't tell me about this, but I know you'll be fine. Just be home on time and Amanda is allowed to stay the night if she wants to." Her mother winked, poking at her daughter's uneasiness.
"MOM!"
"Oh, chill out." The mother pulled her little girl into a tight hug. She felt her daughter's hands rubbing into her back. Mrs. Williams couldn't remember the last time Brittany was this nervous. With a final breath and smile on her face, Mrs. Williams patted her baby on the butt. "Now get outta here and have fun."
Amanda and Brittany arrived at the concert hall just before the first of the opening acts took the stage. Neither one could have been more nervous and that was obvious. Whenever either one looked at the other, both would blush and look away, which was soon followed by childish fits of giggles. Brittany tried to break the ice with something resembling a conversation, but what came out of her mouth was a jumbled mass of broken words and stuttering. Both sets of hands were a sweaty mass of skin and shaking bones. During the sets of the first acts of the night, Amanda and Brittany never once even touched the other. They walked around the venue, stopping at several of the sponsor's booths.
Acting out of brazen courage, Brittany reached out her hand towards that of her girlfriend's. She felt Amanda shutter from the sudden contact, but a smile came to her lips just as quickly. Hand-in-hand they walked down the concert hall, mostly to kill time before the headlining band was to take the stage. But walking around for so long with their fingers interlaced also helped ease their collective nervousness. Each pulse of their heats resonated into its mate's. With every heartbeat came a calm that both Brittany and Amanda welcomed lovingly.
"I-I-I... think th-the Septet will start playing in about ten minutes," Brittany stammered. No sooner had the words left her mouth than did a smile appear on Amanda's. She grabbed Brittany's hand and escorted her girlfriend towards their seats.
The crowd was definitely larger than the last time they passed by the main theater. Fortunately they already had their tickets and were able to by-pass the majority of the mob. The Nissan execs set them up with damn-near front row seats. The last row of the first section, just askew from center stage to be exact. Arguably the best seats in the house; close enough to the action and still see everything, but far enough away and higher than the stage itself, plus being off center so they had a good angle on everyone performing. If Brittany had the band pegged right, her favorite guitar player and singer would be in front of them for nearly the entire performance, a notion not lost on Amanda. Annebell Thomas was her favorite vocalist as well.
The lovebirds took their seats just moments before the lights went dim. Brittany immediately took her girlfriend's hand and squeezed. Her adrenaline and anxiety of the evening finally made their final push through the teenager's body, culminating in this moment. Anne's guitar was playing that mournful tune she opens every show with. Brittany and Amanda quickly disappeared into the crowd as they got to their feet and began cheering for their band. The guitar player became cast in an azure haze as her sorrow-filled intro continued. As each of her bandmates began to play along with the song, they too were cast into the same blue light as their vocalist. So overpowering is this group and their sound that the hearts of those listening instantly get swept into the world they are bringing forth. When the all-instrumental song approached it's climax--about eight minutes later--Brittany and Amanda shot to their feet to get in on the action around them. Each individual members faded out in a mirror image of how it began until the only person playing was the solitary guitarist. Amanda was applauding and jumping up and down. Brittany was cheering and pumping her fist in the air; her expression taking a similar feel to their World Cup victory.
The girl with the guitar came to the center mic and waved her metal arm at the crowd before speaking. "How we doin' tonight?!" A stupid, but manditory question for any band. She looked over at Steven, the violinist, with a sarcastic look on her face. "I think they like us," turning back to the crowd she added, "where's my Kennview bitches?!" Brittany and more than half the crowd lit up to answer their hometown hero.
"I'm not gonna lie to you," Kevin, the bass guitarist and second vocalist, began, "it's an honor and a privilege to be playing in front of you people, in this theater in our hometown..." he was quickly drowned out by the roar of the crowd. Turning back to Anne, the duo started playing one of their biggest (and darkest) hits, "Inevitable Fate".
"Look up to the sky. See it with your eyes. Feel it in the breeze. Jumping through the trees. Hungry is the world, Feeding all the worms!
Cut along your skin. Feel the pain within Blood runs down your arm Now you do His harm. The light is your world Dying as you burn!
Just lay down and do what your fucking told Just lay down and let us take your goddamned soul!
Satan on your back Picking up
your slack. Look
up
to the sky Just before you die. Feel it in your bones. Bow before His throne!
Just lay down and do what your fucking told. Just lie there and give Him your goddamned soul!
Blackened is your eyes. Hound of Hell you cry! Now that is your life Follow with the night. Look into their eyes. You can never die! NO!
Satan is your God. It's not what you thought. Now you know within You have done your sin. Watch Him as he burns, Conquering the world!
Conquering the world! Conquering the motherfucking WORLD!..."
That is one of their best examples of music that buts right into the hearts and souls of anyone who dares to listen. With it's heavy bass lines; fast yet intoxicating guitar riffs and solos; insanely fast drum riffs; the magical harmonics of the violin and viola. But what sets that song apart from the rest of their arsenal is the absolutely haunting overlay of Tyler's cello. Not to mention the "Devil's Solo" he played at the four minute mark lives up to the name, just as Amanda imagined he could play. Yes, she kept her eyes on her idol nearly the entire time.
Not only was that song intended to get everyone's juices flowing, but to get it out of the way as soon as possible. From a musical stand-point, and that of the audience, it's better to get the nearly twelve minute song out of the way early. But to see the looks on the faces of everyone in that room, no one would be the wiser. Brittany blended right into the crowd: throwing signs of the devil in the air, singing along with the lyrics and just screaming her head off.
The band moved right into a few of their powerful instrumentals that their so famous for (some more sinister than others). These songs may be over seven minutes in length, but their fast-to-slow-to-fast tempo changes is why these people came out tonight. They love the swells as the songs go along and within the songs themselves. They played right on through their most heart-felt song in their setlist, "...Forget It Not". This is one of only two pieces that makes Anne tear up as she's playing it. Not because of it's slow, dramatic melody or anything having to do with actually playing it. It's the same reason why everyone sheds a tear as soon as they start to play it.
Anne came up to the mic as soon as she finished her last chord. "Wow, that one still gets me every time. I really appreciate everyone f-f-for loving that one a-as much as we do." A tear still lingered on her cheek and her voice was cracking. She had to force a deep breath to continue. "For those who don't know, '...Forget It Not' is an ode to our founding member, my brother, Jason, who was killed some years back... we got the t-title from the epitaph on his g-gravestone." The crowd paid their own tribute the only way they could. As Steven came over and hugged his "baby sister", the audience turned into a frenzy. Brittany herself was in tears during the song and Anne's little speech. Amanda reached out and took a hand into hers and squeezed.
No sooner had those two looked into the other's eyes--as if on cue--than Anne started playing the intro to a song close to her own heart. Just absolute beauty was coming from that stage. The perfect mix of an aching violin, woeful guitar and cello and the greatest blend of the viola and bass instrument. Brittany once again felt her eyes watering up, especially since she knows to whom this song is dedicated. Anne's own wife.
"I am hear before you, here in your eyes I'm hiding myself, but you see through my disguise. You see through me, you see the love in me I feel my heart begin to say "Please let her be". I catch myself sinking into your eyes. My heart starts to tell me "No more lies". I've only seen what I want to see, I denied my heart, but I want to believe. I feel my wall starting to fade, I can no longer resist. My eyes crack open, I see my love in the mist! My heart begins to open for you. Through the mist I see yours too. Loving you more than I do myself, Loving you more than life itself. Seeing you smile in the shadow, I can no longer resist. Peering through the darkness, I see my love in the mist. Looking at you I see my wall finishing the fade. I look deep inside at the love we've made. I've only seen what I've wanted to see. My heart made it true and now I believe Loving you more, I can no longer resist. My eyes are open, I see my love standing in the mist......"
This was one of the songs that got The String Metal Septet on the map. It won them two Grammies, and several other music awards, and the single and ensuing album went four-times platnum. Hell, Anne and her wife Misty played it at their own wedding. Of all the history behind Anne's personal life that is infused in this song, Brittany couldn't help but feel a disappointment growing inside. It was also the song of her and Kayla's first dance. Hearing played with such enthusiasm just shows that every good thing has a skeleton in it's closet.
Keeping up with the wave of musical swells, once the applause died down a little Kevin, Tyler and Anne began playing their first metal mega-hit. Originally recorded with Jason playing the guitar, a good six years before his sister took the helm. Anne does get a bit emotional during this song, but it's more like blind rage which flows along with the chord riffs and lyrics. Kevin stood behind the mic and just let his growling voice blast the faces off the audience.
"What lies before me here? I feel no more fear. No!
Can you tell me what it was? I need to know because I know it's face somewhere. Soon we'll meet down there!...
...Something called Human Let the slaughter begin! ...Something called Human Here at it's own end! Tell what I'm feeling now! Something dead is rising somehow. I need to know what this is! I have something I know is His. Knowing I have to give it back, Quickly starting to fade to black! Yeah!
...Something called Human Let the slaughter begin! ...Something called Human Let my nightmare end!..."
"We've got one more for you tonight," Kevin announced, waving at Anne to make the introduction. "But I'll let Anne tell you what's up."
With a smile on her face she approached her bass guitarist. "Our last song of the evening is by far my favorite." That was all she needed to get out before the crowd knew what she was talking about. "Yeah, you know the one I'm talking about..." The singer turned to her bandmates before she began to play.
What ensued was the song that brought them success the likes they've never seen. "For The Love Of A Child" is absolute perfect mix of harmonic instrumentals, deep basslines, high-flowing guitars and vocals, and a slow enough rhythem... everything to satisfy everyone's tastes. All totaled to a hell of a metal ballad. Amanda had her face in her hands at the mention of what was to come
"All the girls and little boys Come with me and hear my voice. Walk at my side and you will see Just how cruel this world can be. Love was a word I was never told Now you know why I have no soul.
How am I supposed to save my girl >From the things of this terrible world? Please believe me when I say to you, Darling baby girl I love you, too.
Please don't leave me where she knows my face Please don't leave me in that awful place. Mother said 'Hush babygirl don't be afraid'. Now 'cause of her I'm filled with hate She told me terrible things at night Look at me and see my
sacrifice.
There's no such thing as a winnable war.
So now in me I believe no more.
A mother's love should last eternally,
Instead 'cause of her I bleed internally.
Love was a word I was never told.
Now you know why I gave my soul.
How am I supposed to save my girl >From all the things of this terrible world? Please believe me when u say to you: Darling baby girl I love you too!
Ahh--AHHH--aheh-ah-haheh--AHhhhh!... Ahh--AHHH--aheh-ah-haheh--AHhhhh!... Ahh--AHHH--aheh-ah-haheh--AHhhhh!... Darling baby girl I love you too..."
"Thank you all for coming out tonight!" the singer shouted over the applause of her fans. "We'd like to thank the Sandford Entertainment Center for having us tonight. Personally I want to thank my brothers: Steven, Kevin, James, Kurt, Tony and Tyler." Those called got into a line with their one female bandmate for their final bow. Once they got upright, the guys proceeded to pump their fists into the air and cheer back at the crowd. "Don't forget to pick up a t-shirt. Goodnight!"
The stage went black as pitch when the band turned to go offstage. The overwhelmed audience began that chaotic shuffle to exit the building, or go about their business. Brittany and Amanda had to fight their way through the crowd gathering at the backstage ropes. Fortunately Brittany remembered to put their passes around their necks once the show ended. The security guards let them through as soon as they made it to the black velvet barrier.
Smiling and laughing softly at each other, the pair made their way down an ever darkening hallway. At the end of this narrow passage was the band waiting for their "special fans". Brittany was out of her mind excited about just being here. She couldn't shut that pretty mouth of hers. Amanda's mind slowly faded elsewhere. Brittany's words and cackling died out as they neared the door at the end of this hallway. Amanda's grip tightened on her girlfriend's arm. She did not like the memories this dank corridor brought back.
Brittany opened the star-marked door. The lovebirds were treated to a royal welcome, with "heys" and hugs from the band and crew. The band's manager/producer, Robert Michim, even offered the teenagers each a glass of champagne which they refused. Brittany looked at the aging man with a smirk, "I only drink at parties I don't want to be at."
Anne and her wife Misty each gave their fellow hometown hero a kiss on the cheek and settled her and Amanda on the black leather couch across from their own. Amanda's eyes drifted around the room, taking in it's enormity. From the hallway it seemed much smaller. What a difference the width of a door makes on perception. All of the band's gear and members, plus the furniture, all fit comfortably.
"So hows the whole paintball thing going?" Misty asked. She has been following the teenager's career since her father's practice began sponsoring the team.
"It's really great, you know," she answered with pride in her heart. "We won World Cup a little bit ago. Ohmigod that was a freakin' awesome weekend. Not only that, but I got an offer from Angel, our gun sponsor, to be their Marketing Director and have my own signature line of products. I've also been offered a spot on San Diego Dynasty's roster once I graduate..."
"Yes, graduate first," Misty said quickly, her mother mode quickly turning on.
Blushing a little at her giddiness, she soon began striking up a conversation with Anne about the band's travels and whatnot. Brittany was busy chatting away with one of her living idols to even notice her girlfriend getting up to meander around on her own.
Eventually, or rather inevitably, Amanda found her way to Tyler's cello, which was left sitting out for one reason or another. She lightly ran her fingers over the strings taking in the essence of it's now dormant lifeforce. A feeling of nostalgia washed over her. This was the same way she and Inikye met all those years ago--she'd be damned if it didn't feel like yesterday. Amanda couldn't help but smile.
"Do you play the cello?" Tyler's voice echoed on her brain. Clutching a hand to her chest and smiling at her own frightened embarrassment, Amanda nodded. The two of them locked eyes for a moment. Tyler's shimmering sea blue eyes a stark contrast to Amanda's, which were protected by the sunglasses still on her face. "Well, don't be too rambunctious to speak up," he mused to break the silence.
This managed to get Brittany's attention. Her defenses for Amanda suddenly kicked on. She sprang up from the sofa and approached the pair of cellists. "You'll have to excuse her, Tyler," she said in her warmest voice, "she's a mute."
Tyler's warm expression never faded. "Damn. I was hoping she was starstruck."
Brittany looked over to see Amanda smiling at the jest. This by itself managed to settle the star paintballer's nerves. "You should hear her play sometime though. She wowed me to a stand-still the first time I heard her."
Brittany saw the light bulb go off inside the man's head. With his voice remaining warm and inviting, he begged the question. "How 'bout a song then?"
Amanda's jaw hit the floor. The only cellist that she thinks can best her at the instrument just invited her to play on his own. Brittany's eyes shot to her girlfriend. She was just as surprised that her actually asked the question. Soon enough, the people of the room stopped what they were doing to invesigate the goings on. The mute immediately put-on-the-spot.
With a confident smile, she bowed her head to her idol. Tyler felt a soft chuckle escape his mouth. Brittany just gave her a look of "are you sure about this?". The man spun around to dig out his rosen and bow while the others began situating themselves so they could better see this girl play. Brittany looked around the room with her nervousness building once again. Anne, with Misty holding her metal hand, took a seat at the center of the forming U. Kevin and his wife, each with champagne glasses in-hand, stood next to the guitarist. It was then that Brittany felt the power of attention that her girlfriend was just moments from brunting solo. The only good thing about all of this: they were in good company, people of respect who loved any fellow musician.
Tyler returned with the props. He handed his favorite bow over to the girl and joined into the audience. Brittany turned and gave Amanda a little "good luck" kiss on the cheek, which was immediately met with "oohs" and "aahs" from the men. Anne patted the spot on the couch next to her, telling Brittany to have a seat. With her beat red face still present, and with a deep breath, did as she was asked.
Ever the performer, Amanda took a formal bow before her audience. She grabbed the prized instrument from it's stand and took it over to one of the nearby barstools. She ran the bow over the strings to get an idea for the tuning before getting into any songs. The mute looked up at her captured audience one final time before settling into her usual playing routine. Brittany soon found herself at the center of attention for a second once they noticed her hands fidgeting. Feeling their eyes on her, she relaxed some and sat back. Once Amanda touched the next string, the attention was on her just as it should be.
Brittany watched her girl play like she does in front of the bookstore. Her fingers were absolutely graceful dancing up and down on the neck of that instrument. Her head and body swayed to the beat and mood of the song. This dramatic melody, telling a saga of someone who fought his way out of hell back to the land of the living. A heartbreaking tale of an angel sent to the wrong place and is now force to endure the pains of knowing what awaits him on the other side. Tyler immediately recognized the song this girl was playing; he was the first to begin shedding tears as the notes played. Alone he was not. Soon everyone had tears streaming down their faces, especially Brittany. Amanda, keeping with her dramatics, kept her head and hair and body moving from note to note.
Tyler began to applaude the girl as she held the last couple of notes. Taking his cue, the rest of the room filled with the due ovation. But to everyone's surprise, Amanda continued to play. This was part of the song that she added to, in her mind, properly end it. The way Tyler's grandfather wrote the song was with a happy ending, but Amanda knows better than to believe such foolishness. Everyone quickly hushed to hear what this master player had in store for them. True to Amanda's style, the angel who battled the demons of hell to escape from that terrible place was thrown back into the fires to live out the rest of his sentence.
This elicited more sobbing from the crowd of musicians. After finishing out the last note, the mute stood before her audience and opened her eyes. What she saw sent her reeling back to the stool. She was so into the music that she didn't notice what kind of response she was getting. Her fears were put to rest the minute the room filled with a renewed applause. Tyler came out of the crowd and hugged the stunned girl. "That was amazing. Thank you," he whispered to her.
The silent cellist managed to get away from the emotional man. Brittany came running up to her. The dark haired one threw her arms around Amanda's neck, kissing her cheek. Brittany managed to get in some words of praise and affection but her efforts were labored to get over the noise of the room. Amanda, still holding the bow and cello, returned Brittany's hug as best she could. A smile soon curled around her lips. This really had become a good date.
"Wow, Tyler," Anne said wiping a tear from her eye, "I think you might be out of a job." The sarcasm was lost on him. What he just heard was the most beautiful rendition of his grandfather's song, surpassing even the man himself. This charismatic mute just stole more than his heart.
Ignoring Brittany, he put his arm around Amanda's shoulder and escorted her out into the hallway. The brunette tried to protest, but she felt a heavy arm on her shoulder. Anne's metal arm. "Relax, Brit," the guitarist said with a glint in her eye, "he's just doing right by his grandfather."
"It's alright, Anne," she answered worried, "you know she doesn't speak. Their conversation's gonna be weird." The star paintball player soon found herself talking to her idol just like earlier. The two of them had so much in common, but they were so different. Both of them lost their brother and father, but Anne's were lost by the twisted design of another and not a terrible accident. Out of the ashes came a newly found desire to live life as she saw fit. That is until someone wits next to you completely uninvited. Anne loves using that analogy to compare herself and Misty to Brittany and Amanda.
Speaking of Amanda, she came back into the room with Tyler in tow a short while later. The two of them looked like they've been friends forever. After tonight, they just might be. Brittany lit up as Amanda came over to her just as she was bragging about her. The light touch of the cellist's hand against her cheek made her coo slightly, and the older women laugh at her embarrassment. Brittany looked up to her girlfriend for a brief moment, then down to her watch. Damn it to hell if wasn't time to get going already. "Shit."
Brittany rose to her feet with Amanda's hand in her's. "Well Anne, Misty, guys it was great seeing you all again. Great show as always. We'd love to stay and chat forever but we've got to be going." Amanda went to retrieve her coat from the rack as Brittany went around the room to get a fairwell hug from her favorite band. "Hope to see you soon, guys."
"Before you go," Misty said quickly, stopping them in their tracks. She handed Brittany a piece of paper, "Here's mine and Anne's cell phone numbers. The next time you have a tournament, or they have a gig, or if you just wanna hang out and chat, give either of us a call and we'll make it happen."
Brittany nearly fainted. "S-S-Sure thing, girl," she stammered. As she and Amanda made their way through the threshold, Brittany turned around to the Thomas'. "Make sure you give baby Alyshia a kiss for me."
"Will do," the pair of moms said in unison.
Brittany and Amanda practically had to run back down that dank hallway. Their limo had strict instructions to have them picked up and delivered home by midnight. The hour was growing late and so far no girls. The poor driver had to fight off the constant onslaught of people wanting a free ride, invitations to hotel rooms, and people wanting to fuck in the back seats. His own ire was growing the more he waited. Fortunately, his fare arrived from the door just as he shooed away the latest invitation.
"You're almost late, ladies," the driver said, as if he were their father.
"Sorry, Mr. Greg," Brittany said in a hurry. Even though she wasn't breathing hard, Amanda was. This told him all he needed to know; at least they made the effort to run out of the arena.
Sighing and nodding his head, he said, "Come on, get in. We're still a bit ahead of schedule." He opened the door like a true gentleman for his ladies. As they got in, he looked around at the crowd. A plethora of faces twisted in snarls and envy. The only thing that went through his mind was, 'Maybe you should have thought of it, bitches'.
"How much time before you've gotta drop me off?" came Brittany's voice from the passenger compartment. They were parked outside the bookstore. Amanda could see Roger in the apartment moving around--pacing to be more precise.
"Oh, about a good fifteen minutes or so," Mr. Greg answered.
"You mind if we have a minute to ourselves, then?"
"Not at all, but if you hear me honk the horn then it's time to go. Alright?"
"Sure," Brittany answered rolling out of the seat and her eyes. 'What the hell is his problem?' she asked under her breath.
Amanda got out first. She held her hand out so her girlfriend could take it as she exited. Brittany smiled up at her as she took the offered hand. It made her happy to see Amanda smile like that. She not only smiled, she had a glow. Happiness seemed to spill out of her being whenever the two of them touched. They had a slow pace when they walked up to the door.
Standing at the threshold to the bookstore, Brittany was hard-up for words. Just smiling and giggling like the people she so frequently made fun of. Putting a finger to her mouth, she managed to get out what she held back up till now. "Amanda, do you want to come back to my house tonight? My mom says it's cool if you want to." Brittany scoffed at herself for waiting this long to ask that question.
Amanda nodded emphatically, just like the happy little girl she like inside. She put up a finger telling her to wait a minute. Brittany assumed it so she could tell Roger what was going on. Smiling those beautiful white teeth of her's, she nodded her O.K. The mute took off like a shot into the store and up the stairs. This left Brittany alone for the briefest of moments to her thoughts.
In that instant, she saw her reflection in the window. Thinking back to what Sarah told her so early this morning, she did notice a difference than the last time. When she was with Kayla and looked unto this window she was a different person. Sunken, beaten, subdued. Now was alive, happy, vibrant. Was is Sarah's plan for this to happen? Or was it of her own free will? Either way, Brittany didn't care. She was with someone she truly loves and that's all that matters. Kayla was nothing but an annoyance to her now. Amanda is her life and future.
Amanda came running back through the door a few moments later. She had Inikye in one hand and that giddy smile on her face, telling her girlfriend all she needed to know. Amanda turned to lock-up the store and they headed back to the limo. Inikye was the first to enter, followed closely by the lovebirds. It may have been annoying to make a pointless stop, but it still made Mr. Greg happy to see two young people so infatuated with each other. A nostalgic smile curled on his lips and he put the limo in gear. This wasn't lost on Brittany though. 'Poor guy must've lost someone a long time ago,' she thought to herself.
Brittany and Amanda found their ride home in the arms of the other person. Unlike her classmates, Brittany is no sex-starved animal that needs to be fed. She prefers her nights to be in the arms of the she loves. But should peace and quiet give way to passion, she will gladly partake. Amanda is much the same. Given her history, it's amazing that she even thinks of sex at all. Out of all the rapes and beatings, she still found a way to give herself to her wife to consummate their wedding. The fact that the two of them just went to a concert, spent their entire trip in a limo and they were content to just sit there and hold each other spoke volumes of their views to Mr. Greg. He half expect them to be all over each other, like most of his fares.
Brittany, Amanda and Inikye managed to make it into the house without waking Brittany's mom up. The young Williams led the way to her room through the darkness. Bumping into random objects and giggling like a couple of derelicts, they eventually made it to the bedroom. Amanda set Inikye near the closet next to Brittany's gearbag while her girlfriend began to get undressed. Amanda spun around in time to see her girlfriend unbuttoning her blouse. Her exposed skin and lacy bra made an impression on the mute girl; she swallowed the lump in her throat as her eyes widened. Tossing the blouse into the hamper, she unzipped her skirt and slid it down her well-toned thighs Brittany either didn't notice or she was too tired to care. She just continued to strip in front of her girlfriend as if she wasnt' there. Her matching panties looked stunning against her smooth skin.
Brittany about jumped out of her skin when she felt Amanda's hands wrap around her. She had all but forgotten she wasn't alone. Standing nearly nude with her girlfriend embracing her like this, she couldn't help but coo at the roaming contact. Amanda's rough hands feeling over her tight stomach and shoulder, her lips gently touching the crook of her neck, Brittnay let out a small moan. She placed her hand atop Amanda's. Amanda looked into Brittany's eyes and leaned in to kiss her lips. Brittany put her hand behind her girlfriend's head and kissed her back, rubbing her own rough hands through her hair. This is the most passionate they've been to date and Amanda wasn't about to let all go without getting a little lovin' in.
As the kiss broke, Brittany held her eyes closed. Amanda stepped away to begin removing her own clothes to get ready for bed. Brittany held her pose for as long as she could, not wanting that moment to end. She opened her eyes to see Amanda already removing her shirt. This brought a smile to the star paintballer, who continued to get naked. Though they could use a shower, that can wait for tomorrow.
Brittany was already standing in her usual bunny pajamas by the time she realized Amanda was still standing there, a lost expression on her face. She just stood there with her arms wrapped around herself as if she were protecting her body from some unseen person that just tried to hit her. Brittany came up to her and rubbed her arm. The silent girl jumped at the contact. As her arms fell to her sides, Brittany quickly learned why Amanda just stood that way. All the way up her sides and across her torso were bruises and scars. Hillcrest hospitality.
She told Brittany an unspoken apology with her eyes, but the brunette just cradled her into her arms. She kissed her cheek over and over again telling her "It's O.K.". "Come on, hon, let's get you out of those close so we can go to bed."
Amanda grinned at the idea. She still felt ashamed for having to show Brittany all those years of brutality her skin wore, but hell, she would've found out eventually. Fortunately for Amanda, she was about the same size as her girl so clothes wasn't the problem. It was deciding what to wear. This closet alone had more clothes in it than she'd ever owned. Brittany handed her a set of PJs similar to her own, along with a clean bra and panty set. Amanda took the outfit and got undressed. Brittany was more than amused with the show she was watching. Her girlfriend, in her bedroom, stripping (however ungracefully) to nothing. She couldn't help but laugh a little, which was met with a hard grimace from the girl in question. As she finished getting dressed and joined Brittany on her bed, Amanda couldn't help but smile as well.
Brittany hit the lights. She allowed Amanda to have first pick of bed side and blanket. Amanda chose to have the side closest to the alarm clock, which didn't matter to Brittany one bit. Tomorrow was Saturday and there was no practice. Amanda layed her head down on the pillow and took in Brittany's scent. This by itself would have made her drift off to sleep within moments. She also felt Brittany's hand stroking her hair and her arm around her middle. "I love you, Amanda," Brittany whispered into her ear.
Amanda rolled over just enough to plant a kiss on her girlfriend's lips. Once she broke away, she looked into Brittany's darkened face and lipped back, "I love you, too". They plopped their heads back down and soon were off to a place that is far away from any dark hallways and dank rooms.