Dear Reader
This story, like many of my other stories, has elements that are based on real personal experiences.
However, the names and places are all fictitious.
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Simon
Shyness
By Simon Peter
I have many problems, like everyone else, I guess. I am a closeted gay man with no real sexual experience. That is one of my problems. Now, at 28, quite good looking and fit, I am still a virgin. This is not for lack of opportunities. I have had many.
This is because of my biggest problem: I am terribly shy.
This may sound lame. So often, I have chided myself for being so shy. But this has never helped in my getting laid. I masturbate a lot, usually watching gay porn on my laptop. I have gotten onto a couple of chats on Skype with guys, both of us showing our dicks and stroking. But that was never satisfactory for me. Every time I did that, I felt empty. I wanted more. I wanted a real relationship with a real hot guy holding me, pressing me to him, kissing me, whispering stuff in my ear, sucking and fucking me.
That was a week ago, before my trip to Amsterdam.
Now I am back and I have a little story to tell.
On the plane to Amsterdam, I decided to go all the way out. No more shyness. No more staying closed up inside my little stupid shell. I decided that I would actively look for a chance of having gay sex. I had already located a couple of gay places in Amsterdam on the Internet, and I had the addresses and everything.
I checked in at my hotel in the late afternoon and with a lot of hope and anticipation I walked to one of the places I had researched, a bar. It was just after six o'clock and I was more than ready.
The minute I entered the bar, I chickened out. It wasn't crowded, but the customers were all male, and they all turned to look at me as I entered. I stood there for a minute or so, and then turned and walked out.
I was disgusted with myself. I felt so bad. Why, oh fucking why was I such a wimp? After all, what I wanted was simply a fuck! How difficult could that be?
I walked the streets of Amsterdam, disgusted with myself, not knowing what to do. I strolled along the Red District, vaguely aware of the prostitutes in windows, barely noticing the sex-saturated atmosphere, the horny guys.
With a heavy heart, I retraced my steps back to the hotel and headed straight to the bar near the reception area. A glass of scotch would definitely put some courage in my veins, I thought. And it did!
In some crazy way, the alcohol made me walk back to the gay bar. This time, there was no hesitation. I walked in, headed towards the bar, and took one of the empty stools. I ordered another Scotch. My heart was beating in my temples; it was pounding. I kept expecting myself to mouse my way out of the place. But I resisted the urge to leave.
The men in the bar were ordinary people, mostly in their late twenties and thirties. So I didn't feel much out of place. One couple was dancing slowly, very close, every now and then kissing. I was excited. There, right in front of me was a scene that I had only imagined before and had never expected to witness in real life: two attractive men dancing and kissing.
As I watched the two lovers on the dance floor, a guy took the stool next to mine. There was the usual greeting which I returned, noting that the guy was quite handsome and seemed quite friendly. He ordered a Scotch as well and offered to buy one for me as mine was almost empty. I accepted on the condition that the next round would be on me, hoping hope against hope that there would be a next round.
In no time, I started warming to the guy. His name was Edmond and he was British. We held a comfortable conversation on Amsterdam and the weather and things like that. I started to feel very relaxed, my shyness forced back by the drinks and by the easy atmosphere. Edmond also seemed to enjoy his time. We laughed when I mentioned the window prostitutes in the Red District. I wondered what it would be like to sit there, in underwear, as men walked by. What would the feeling be?
Edmond joked about it, claiming that it didn't turn him on.
Out of the blue, Edmond said, "I say, Ben, would you like to dance?"
Oh, my God! Suddenly, my shyness came back in full force. Dance? With another guy? Out here in public? In front of other people? Oh, fuck me! I almost bolted out of the bar, out of the city.
But to my utter surprise, I was able to nod my head and allow myself to be led to the middle of the floor where the other couple was still interlocked in a close embrace, slowly swaying to the music.
Edmond slid his hands around my waist, and I automatically put my hands around his neck. Jesus! My mind was in turmoil, and I could feel my whole body shaking. This was the first time I was so close to another male, let alone feeling his arms around me. Gently, slowly, Edmond pulled me closer. As we moved to the music, our bodies touched. There is no way I can describe the moment. I was shaking from head to toe, and Edmond seemed to have felt it.
"First time?" he whispered in my ear, his lips touching me and sliding to my neck with a light kiss.
"Uhum," I heard myself utter and the squeeze on my back pulled me closer so that I could feel his crotch pressed on mine. I hadn't noticed that I had already developed an erection until I felt his rubbing against me. My knees went weak and I had to hold myself up by leaning on Edmond for support. That was when our lips met. My whole body felt that there were no muscles, no bones, that I was made of jelly, except perhaps for my cock, which felt as if it would break off from the huge erection and the pressure on Edmond's body.
Still kissing, Edmond maneuvered himself so that our erections were rubbing on each other's thigh.
The alcohol, the music, and the heat of Edmond's body all conspired to make my shyness disappear. I reciprocated with eagerness and I enjoyed Edmond's lustful grabbing of my butt as we pressed on each other.
The music stopped and we walked back to the bar, his arm still around my waist, as if we had been lovers for ages. I was walking on air, unbelieving what had just happened. I had just had a dance with a guy! I had felt his body pressed to mine. I had had his arms around my waist. I had rubbed my erection on his thigh and felt his throbbing on mine. I was in heaven.
At the bar, I ordered my turn of rounds. I sipped my Scotch as if in a dream, with Edmond's hand on my thigh, our knees touching. I looked at his face and smiled. He smiled back, pressing on the inside of my thigh and slowly rubbing up to my crotch. My shaking increased and I was barely able to hide my excitement.
"It seems strange, Ben," Edmond said in a low voice. "A guy as good looking as you are, and this is your first time."
"Yea," was all I was able to say. I was trying to focus on Edmond. He had normal features, like the guys you see everywhere, but what caught my attention the most was his eyes. Eyes are the window to the soul, I heard it said. I could see that Edmond was kind as well as lustful. It was so clear to me. He lusted for me and there was a gentle but focused expression in his gaze that told me that I was going to get laid.
It was more difficult for me now to hold a normal conversation with Edmond. I was thinking about how the evening would evolve, whether there would actually be sex or whether it was just a nice meeting in a bar with a little making out. My heart raced. Would I agree to go all the way if Edmond ever asked?
Or perhaps I should ask?
We sat on the bar stools, facing each other, his leg pushed between my thighs. Slowly, gently, he reached out and took my hand between his and started massaging lightly: the palm, the fingers, the wrist, all the while looking at my face. Unconsciously, I pushed my hand, as he caressed it, onto his lap.
His hardness throbbed at my touch. There I was, the shyest person on earth, pressing on another guy's hard cock in a public place. However, the lights were dim, and all the clients were busy with each other, too involved to care. As Edmond massaged my hand, I massaged his erection.
It seemed that Edmond found it difficult to restrain himself with me practically stroking his dick. He lifted my hand, kissed it, and pulled me to the dance floor. My initial shyness was totally gone by now, and our two bodies pressed eagerly on each other, rubbing, humping. I closed my eyes. I was dancing in the arms of another man. Somehow, I couldn't get over the fact that I was actually, physically in contact with another guy. His grinding on me sent electricity through every nerve and fiber in my body.
If clothed, such sensations could so incredibly electrify me, what would it be like dancing in his arms naked? I shivered at the thought.
"What's wrong, Ben?" Raymond whispered as he nibbled on my ear.
"Oh, nothing, Edmond." If only he knew!
He pressed himself onto me further and squeezed my butt.
"You like?" he whispered again, prodding my crotch with his erection.
"I like," I whispered back into his exposed neck. "A lot."
"Maybe, we could go somewhere where we could take this a bit further?"
I had a very clear idea what "further" meant for Edmond. From the way he was grinding on me and was rubbing my butt, from his looks at my face and down my body at the bar, from the way he held me inside his strong arms, I knew that Edmond wanted to fuck.
Jesus! Was I ready for that? Fucking? My heart raced but I couldn't tell whether from fear or from anticipation. I loved the feeling of his grinding on me. I loved the way I was held in his arms, his breath on my neck, his lips on my ear. I loved the whole feeling of being with him, there, on the dance floor.
But in bed? Fucked?
Edmond felt my hesitation. Breaking away from me, he led the way back to the bar.
"Look, Ben, I totally understand how you feel. This being your first time and all," he started, gazing at me as he spoke. "But I have developed very strong feelings for you and there has to be a first time. So why not with me? Is there anybody else you'd rather be with?"
"Oh, no," I responded, with more vigor than I intended. "No. Nobody. I enjoy being with you." I placed my hand on the inside of his thigh and continued, with difficulty. "You are right about this being my first time. I don't know what to expect, Edmond."
"Expect nothing, baby, and you will get it all," he said with a smile bringing my hand up to his crotch and pressing it down on his cock. "Come on, don't be chicken. Let's go somewhere, a hotel or something."
"My hotel," I whispered, squeezing on his dick, but starting to feel uneasy about the prospect of being alone with this handsome guy in a private place.
We made small talk during the short walk to the hotel. As we entered my room, I turned to Edmond and said, "I am astonished that I was able to make it here, you know."
"What do you mean?" Edmond asked as he pulled me towards him.
"I mean that I never thought I'd be in a room alone with another guy."
He placed his lips on mine as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. "And it feels so great being here with you, Ben."
I kissed him back, giving it my all, now that we were alone and not inhibited by the presence of other people around us. We tongued each other as our bodies pressed on each other and our erections rubbed against each other, two lustful guys in a deep embrace of passion.
I watched him undress. Out of his clothes, Edmond was painfully beautiful. His chiseled body rippled with masculinity and energy. His body hair, sparse but pronounced, thickened in his crotch and around his vertically erected penis. And his penis. Edmond was uncircumcised, I immediately noticed, but the foreskin was pulled back to under the ridge so that it looked as if it were cut. Edmond stood in front of me, naked, erected, gloriously masculine, waiting for my reaction.
I knew I should drop to my knees and worship the god standing in front of me. I should be swallowing that hard cock. I should be licking those hanging balls. I should be nibbling on these pink nipples. I should be running my hands all over the sinewy male body. should be...
But I just froze. Edmond walked the few paces to me and started to undress me. I wanted to grab his cock with my hand. But for some reason, I just froze. He ran his hands over my hairy chest, and moved down to my belt, pulled down my pants, and peeled off my underwear, revealing my own erection.
Never breaking his gaze into my eyes, Edmond kneeled and took my cock between his lips. I jolted.
Talk about first times? This was way beyond any expectation. The lips pursed tightly around my cut cock head, and the gaze never left my face, never breaking contact with my eyes. Slowly, Edmond swallowed my cock, down to the base. I almost shot my load.
Releasing me, Edmond pushed me back onto the bed and lay on top of me. Instead of dancing tightly, standing up, fully clothed, now we were interlocked, lying down on the bed, fully naked. I felt his cock slip under my balls into my crack as he humped me, and I shivered at the sensations of his hardness between my butt cheeks. Oh, yes! How I hungered to be fucked. I spread my legs for him, and he rubbed his now-wet cock onto my exposed hole.
"I so want to fuck you, Ben," Edmond said, the gentle look in his eyes changing to that of lust.
"But," I hesitated, "protection?"
"This is your first time, right?" Edmond asked as he rubbed his cock round and round my hole.
I nodded.
"I have tested clean. There is no problem if I go bare. Do you have a problem, Ben," Edmond asked prodding my hole.
How could I say no? How could I refuse? Wasn't that what I was hoping to happen when I had planned my trip here? Didn't I come to Amsterdam to get fucked? Sure enough. Here I was, on my back, legs spread wide, ass exposed, a man's cock pressed against my back door.
"No problem, baby," I said hoarsely. "Fuck me."
Edmond did.
At first, with the initial shocking pain of penetration, I honestly felt nothing. I was numb. I don't know how that is possible, how a person feel nothing with another person's cock invading his ass. I squeezed my eyes shut and the excruciating invasion of my hole happened without my uttering a whimper. From very far away, I heard someone say something like "Are you okay, baby?" I nodded.
Was I ok? How could I have been ok with a man's hard cock at my ass, inside my ass, inside my body?
My body? My fucking body slowly turned to a bundle of nerves, the numbness disappearing. How could something as simple as a penetrating cock into an open ass create such incredible sensations?
When Edmond was totally inside me, he bent over and started kissing me, grinding at my butt so his cock would get comfortable with my fuck tunnel. His muscled stomach pressed on my very erect penis, rubbing it against my own belly. Only when Edmond started his fucking, it dawned on me that I was being fucked, actually being fucked, for real, here, on this bed, under this man. It was incredible. I moved with him in spite of the pain, or perhaps because of the pain, meeting his thrusts with thrusts of my own.
I was in some empty space between dreams and reality. This couldn't have been happening to me. It felt like being in a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I reached up and touched Edmond's face.
It was beginning to sweat. I ran my fingers over his lips. He started sucking on them, his fucking increasing in tempo. I caressed his hair. It was real. I touched his chest, now beady with sweat, and it was also so very real. I raised myself on my elbows and licked his nipples, tasting saltiness. Very real.
His pounding increased in intensity. Was I really being pounded? My ass plundered? My fingers ran down his back and I grabbed his thrusting butt with both hands forcing him deeper, ever deeper.
I couldn't hold back. I came with such force that my whole body was shuddering with my spasms. As soon as Edmond felt my first spurt, he thrust deep all the way and froze letting me shoot my load. I needed for him to continue fucking me as I exploded. I pulled his hair. I wanted to feel the friction of his rod against my fucked ass, pushing into my insides. But he just grinded against my balls, allowing my sphincter to crazily squeeze on the base of his dick with each squirt. There must have been countless streams shooting out of my balls. On and on I spilled my sperm. Suddenly, Edmond thrust a couple of times and emptied his nuts inside me. I was still dripping cum as his load hit my bowels. I felt the intensity of his orgasm, and my ass cavity started to fill up with his juice. I squeezed hard on his ejaculating cock, milking him. It was incredible. A man was actually emptying his balls full of semen into me. Way beyond incredible. I just couldn't describe the way my body received his seed.
Still dripping, Edmond pulled out and lay next to me, his breathing heavy, his body shining with sweat. I was still in a dream. I reached over and grabbed his wet dick. It was still throbbing. Bending, I kissed the exposed head and tasted both our juices. It was amazing. This hot piece of meat had been deep inside my body. This man cock had just fucked me. I kissed it again, and again, with lust as well as with gratitude. It started to harden between my lips. I stroked it. This dick was my entire world now and I wanted it inside me again, with all my soul.
Edmond was hard.
"Baby," he pulled me off his erected dick. "Bend over for me."
Like a good boy, I bent on fours, my ass burning. He entered me doggy style, the earlier fucking and the juices of cum and spit making the entry smoother. My fuck tunnel was now used to his cock and I embraced his hardness with eagerness. As I buried my head in the pillow, my arms and knees barely supporting me, Edmond pounded my ass. As in the first fuck, he cummed inside me with a huge explosion.
I was totally out of breath, and it took both of us some minutes to regain our senses.
We showered and left the hotel. It was still early, around 10 o'clock. Edmond led me to a street where you could smell the cannabis in the air all around. It was fairly crowded, but we found a bar and went in. Instead if the usual chairs and tables, there were couches and cushions. Edmond bought a couple of weed joints, and we leaned back on one of the couches and smoked. Even without the weed, I was high in seventh heaven. Cuddled together on the sofa, all I can remember now is his arm around me, and his lips on the side of my neck. I sported a huge erection throughout. I wanted to be fucked right there on the sofa with everyone watching and cheering. This was going way beyond my wildest dreams. My hand groped Edmond's crotch, whose cock was hard also and promised a lot more action.
The night was young and I had just been initiated into man sex. What a night it was!
This is my little story.